Chapter Text
March 4th, 7:24pm
Apartment Bathroom
Athena opened the white wooden door to the bathroom. Boss told her to get some rest and take the next day off….
She turned on the water faucet…
“You were close.”
Athena looked at the mirror. She wishes she could see her reflection instead of its face. Her eyes were red from a lack of sleep, her eyelids were baggy, and her hair was a mess. She was certain that she only had a grand total of three hours of sleep during the month. She didn’t want to be up for regular dinner, so she already had her pajamas.
The devil , on the other hand, had a soft smile. Athena was half tempted to throw something at the mirror.
“You could have strangled Apollo with the cape that Trucy bought.”
Athena grabbed her toothbrush and ran it under the water. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could deal with the devil in her head. Ever since the middle of January she could feel its … conduct start to seep through her, and especially more whenever she was more tired.
“You could have slit Phoenix’s throat with the letter opener he lent you to open mail.”
Athena poured out the toothpaste onto her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth. She wanted to say she was numb to the voice. She really, really did… But each passing day it kept pushing a bit harder. Sometimes she felt herself reaching for objects whenever she was near Apollo or the Boss. Sometimes she could just barely stop herself from hurting them before they noticed.
“Do you need me to name some more?”
She didn’t want to hear its voice again.
“You have no say in that matter.”
Athena spat out the toothpaste. She needed rest. Rest was the only time where it didn’t talk to her.
“I will be here tomorrow.”
Athena looked at the clock. Simon probably had some prosecutorial business to deal with, so he wasn't coming home anytime soon. Athena wandered towards the kitchen. Simon wasn’t much of a cook, but he did know how to make decent ramen. She was arguably worse at cooking than he was….
Looking through the cabinet of food, Athena realized that she wasn’t even hungry. She just wanted to rest.
“Perhaps you could create a poison out of hou-”
Athena slammed the cabinet shut.
“CAN YOU STAY QUIET FOR MORE THAN THIRTEEN SECONDS!?”
… She just wanted to stop hearing it . For the past three months, the devil had been camping out in her mind. Edging her on. Pushing her to a breaking point.
Athena clenched her hands. Her throat hurt from talking. She could feel the tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t break down yet. She couldn’t afford to. She’s been searching through Khura’in texts (that the boss had lent her) for anything about haunting spirits, and she KNEW that there had to be a way to get it out…
“I will not leave.”
From the texts, she couldn’t find much of anything yet. Only that these contracts only ended after the conditions of the contract had been met, or if the living person died. She wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry when she first found that out… But maybe she just needed some rest. Maybe a clear head could fix this. Maybe she just had yet to find a surefire way of getting rid of it .
Athena looked to the kitchen countertop and spotted the bottle of sleeping pills that Simon bought for her, since she was having trouble sleeping. She sighed and moved to the kitchen cabinet to get a glass of water. She’d do anything if it meant getting rid of it , outside of harming Boss or Apollo.
“You will kill them eventually. It is just a matter of time.”
Athena filled her cup with water. If what was written was to be believed, she’d have to hear it for her entire life, unless she fulfilled her contractual obligations. She knew she was running out of time. She knew that if this kept up for a month or more, she might give up entirely. And she knew there was no easy way out.
Athena turned the container of sleeping pills and opened it. She was about to grab a pill, but she felt herself stop.
“Is there something wrong?”
Athena felt her heart race… Why hadn’t she considered it beforehand?
“... Ms. Cykes?”
She felt her hand shaking at the thought of it. Slowly, she grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. She thought about other ways prior, but she was always afraid of the pain…… but…….
…. This would just feel like falling asleep… right?
“Put it down.”
At the sound of those words, Athena quickly raised the bottle up to her mouth. At the last moment, she felt herself hesitating. She couldn’t tell if it was the devil or her survival instincts.
“Put. It. Down.”
… She knew she couldn’t do it. But……. It was right… she was too close today… if she got any closer… then the Boss and Apollo….
She couldn’t bear the thought of her getting any closer to harming them. She tilted the bottle up, and felt the pills enter her mouth.
“ SPIT IT OUT!”
It was practically screaming now. Athena found herself losing balance. The bottle slipped out of her hand and fell on the floor and the pills still left in the bottle scattered across the floor. She held as tight as she could to the glass of water.
“DON’T YOU E-”
Athena drank the water and swallowed the pills.
“... you utter fool.”
Athena felt her heart booming in her chest…. She raced around the countertop for the notepad. Grabbing the pen, she began to try to think of what to write down. If she had the ability to, she would have stated that the devil had been camping in her head, degrading her mind. But… would they ever forgive her for making a deal with the devil ?
After racing her mind for answers, all she could write was “Tired - AC”.
Athena looked towards the clock. She wasn’t sure when Simon was coming home.
“You worthless imbecile.”
“And what can you do about it?”
“....”
“Yeah. Stay quiet.”
Athena got onto her knees and grabbed all the spilt pills and placed them back into the bottle. She then threw the quarter filled bottle of sleeping pills into the trash can. Afterwards, she slumped her way towards the bed. Getting under the blankets, she could feel the lack of sleep start to seep in….
… it would just feel like falling asleep…
….
………………………
-kes-Dono? Ath-?!?
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-NA DID WHA-, I’ll b--
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-ondition is critical, but we may be ab-
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-er, I should be able to notice if she moves a-
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-n’t practice till she wak-
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It’s not your time yet
………………
….
.
???, ???
???
Athena’s throat soared with fire. Her eyelids felt exceedingly heavy. She couldn’t feel her arms, legs, or really any part of her body.
……..
Not a sound. Was… was she free?
……..
Nothing. No response. No “Wake up.”
……
Athena opened her eyes.
The light was bright, but it quickly dimmed as her eyes adjusted to the sight.
No clouds, no blue sky… To her front she could see her boss trying to console Trucy. To the left, where the sunlight was entering through the window, was Apollo reading a book about Khura’in spirits. He seemed to be exceedingly concentrated. Maybe he realized exactly what was going on. She could faintly hear the heartbeat monitor. To her right was Simon Blackquill sitting on a chair, looking down. Taka was perched on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.
Looking slightly above Simon, she could see a Calendar. March 17th…
……….
Athena started to cry. Everyone turned to look at the new sound originating from the hospital bed.
Never had she felt both so alone and accompanied.
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March 17th, 3:24pm
Infirmary
Trucy was the first one to speak.
“Athena! You’re awake!”
Athena could hear both the sheer overwhelming joy in her voice as well as the deep sadness. She was in the process of wiping her tears away when she heard a voice.
“Cykes-Dono.”
Athena turned to look at Simon. The look on his face was a mixture of disappointment and relief. His voice felt hesitant, as if he was trying to craft the perfect question.
“...Are you ok?”
Athena wasn’t sure of how to respond. But given that the Boss was here, she couldn’t get away with lying. So she nodded her head.
“Then…… why?”
Athena frowned. She… genuinely didn’t think she’d ever have to answer that question. After reflecting for a moment, Athena took off the ventilator from her mouth. Her throat felt far less sore than it did a few minutes ago. After taking a deep breath, she finally spoke.
“It’s… not a short story. Are you all willing to listen to it?”
Phoenix nodded his head.
“Of course. We’ll all listen.”
Athena looked at her hands. They were shaking… She didn’t want to admit it, but she was terrified. How would they react to hearing that she valued Simon’s life above the Boss’s or Apollo’s? How would they react to hearing that she made a deal with the devil to ensure the freedom of Simon? … She didn’t want to speak at all, but she had little to lose. After all, she thought that she’d never be able to explain anything, ever.
“I… I don’t know if you’ll believe me. But when I was imprisoned for the murder of Clay Terran, I was visited by……… a devil . It gave me an offer. In return for saving Simon Blackquill’s life, I would have to…. Take both the Boss and Apollo’s life. At the time, I didn’t know how much longer I had until Simon’s execution. So……… I agreed.”
Athena paused for a moment. Surely, they would yell at her. Surely, she would be able to hear sheer disgust or even loathing………. but she could only hear heartache in everyone’s breath.
“Over the past few months, I’ve been hearing its voice constantly. Edging me on. Pushing me to a brink. It has kept me up at night multiple times, and sometimes when I’m at the office, I find myself putting your lives at stake. Just the other day when you gave me the letter opener Boss, I had to stop myself from cutting you, or worse… and that culminated in the 4th, in which I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again. Over the past few weeks I’ve considered other ways, but I was terrified of the physical pain. It only dawned on me that night of a way to…. Well, you know the rest.”
Athena looked down and waited in silence. She… wasn’t sure what to hope for a response. She could understand Trucy and Blackquill being able to forgive her, but… surely Apollo and the Bo-
“That must have been incredibly difficult to deal with alone, Athena…….. May I ask a question?”
Athena nodded solemnly.
“This devil… I assume it was Kristoph ?”
Athena nodded…
“......Boss?”
“Yes?”
“Why can’t I hear any anger in your voice?”
“Because I’m not angry.”
Athena looked up to see the Boss. How? How could h-?
“Athena.”
Athena looked to her left. Apollo was looking at her with a smile.
“I might not have dealt with Kristoph for as long a time as you, but I figure that having a serial killer in your head demanding bodies would break anyone.”
“Cykes-Dono.”
Athena turned to her right. She could see Blackquill’s eyes. They were baggy.
“I have only been terrified three times in my life before. The first was walking into that laboratory 7 years ago. The second was when Wright-Dono proved that my testimony for that incident was a lie. The third… was seeing the near empty bottle of sleeping pills.”
Athena turned to avoid his gaze.
“I know it’s hypocritical of me to ask this of you but promise me one thing……. Never scare me like that again.”
Athena looked down and solemnly nodded. She then felt a hug.
“Welcome back.”
… It wasn’t fair at all. After everything she told them, that she agreed to kill them, that she made a pact with the devil , and that she worried them so much with her choosing to take her own life… Tears started to stream out of her eyes. She returned the hug.
… It’s strange. Being alive is wonderful, isn’t it?