Archive of Our Own ^beta

They feel like shit.

Since the moment they got up to work, and until they got home. They barely slept, and barely ate. But it’s fine, they’re fine. They just want nothing more than to rest. To sit back and relax on their couch and watch tv.

But the moment they kick off their boots and carelessly throw the coat on the floor, they notice their skeletal significant other standing in the hall with his arms crossed, his tall and imposing figure casting a shadow on the human. And after a beat of silence he unfurls his arms and takes a few steps towards them.

“…you look so pale.” Roger puts one of his big hands on their forehead. “And ye’re warmer than usual…”

The ex-expendable is confused for a moment, taken aback by the fact that he actually recognized the signs that they weren’t feeling well. “I’m fine-” They didn’t want to worry him, and they hoped he didn’t catch up on how their voice sounded strained. They moved his hand off them before breaking into a coughing fit, their claim quickly being proven wrong.

 

“Well, that won’t do. Come on.” He suddenly picked them up into his arms, making them let out a startled yelp.

“Hey! Where are you taking me-” They squirmed in his arms as he carried them into the bedroom and plopped them on the mattress. “I swear to you that I’m completely fine-” They tried to reassure him, to prove he shouldn’t be so worried. But he basically pinned them down to the bed with the covers when they tried to get up. “Stay here. I’m making soup.”

They were even more confused now with this statement. They tried to question him before he swiftly left, but sneezed instead.

“I will be back in a jiffy, don’t you worry.” His skull popped up in the doorway before leaving again. They simply accepted their fate as they wiped their nose with their sleeve from habit.

 

A few minutes pass with some noise coming from the kitchen, and he returns with a small bowl of soup. As much as they hate to be seen in this weak and vulnerable state, they can’t deny that they like the… princess treatment.

Roger placed the warm bowl with a spoon onto their lap. “I told ye that you should have stayed at home. But nooo, you insisted that it’ll pass-” He barked with exasperation, a streak of sassyness in his tone. “-I may be a skeleton, but I guess I’m the one here who knows shit about health!” He sat down on the edge of the bed with a creak, crossing his arms again, sulking.

 

A smile spread across their face at his tantrum. Under normal circumstances, the bouncer would be ruthless and threatening if someone angered him. But like this, fussing over how his partner should have been more concerned about falling sick, it’s downright adorable how grumpy he is about it.

 

They chuckled and leaned towards him to plant a kiss on his cheekbone, and he just huffs as his expression softens at the touch. “Tsk. You’re lucky that I can’t stay mad at you.” He turns his head and presses his teeth to their lips for a moment. “Now rest, and eat up before the soup gets cold, mo ghraidh.”

The Bouncer was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, reading a book. His partner walked into the living room with a smirk as they moved towards him. “Is that seat taken?”

He looked up from his book to see what they were pointing at. “…that’s my lap.”

“And?”

He let out an amused sigh before sitting properly and letting them settle on his lap sideways. He resumed reading the book while they looked up at him lovingly, their head at his shoulder. “You’re so cute…”

“Am I?”

“Mh-hm. And quite handsome too~”

A light chuckle echoed through his bones. “Why, thank you babe.”

They took hold of his chin, turning his skull to their face. “Oh my, won’t you look at that.”

“Hm?” He tilted his head to the side, his shades sliding off a bit. “What is it?”

“What a nice view~” They leaned closer until their noses were touching, he breathed deeply as their hand rubbed circles on his broad chest. “M'eudail…”

“Take off those shades for me sweetheart, I want to see your pretty eyes~”

He finally threw the book on the table, and put his shades on his forehead.

“Good, very good~” They gazed into his eyes as they cupped his cheekbones, making him sigh and melt into the soft touch as he wrapped his bony arms around them. “So strong and capable~”

“Oh, mo ghràdh…” He brushed his teeth against their cheek, gently nibbling it as if to mimic little pecks of kisses, since he lacks lips. They giggle at the ticklish sensations, quickly returning the kisses on every curve of his skull. “Darlin’, you’re gonna be the death of me one day…”

“Aren’t you already dead?”

“Hey now, do I look dead to you?”

“Well, you are a skeleton-”

“Shhh…”

They quietly laughed after he shushed them, letting his face snuggle into their neck.

“I love you, Roger.”

“I love you, more than you could ever imagine.”

There was ding at the door. And when the ex-expendable opened the front door, there was only a box and a letter on the doorstep. The letter had Urbanshade’s logo on it. They peeked their head out of the doorway, looking around the area before taking the package inside.

“Who was at the door?” Roger asked after they set the box on the living room table.

“I don’t know, but they left this here.” They opened the letter and started reading it…

 

Dear Expendable,

As appreciation for completing your Raveyard mission, we have sent you a special gift. (More information included inside the box)

-Urbanshade

 

Huh, that’s probably the shortest letter in existence. But the company is known to be straight to the point with their writing.

“What do you think it is?” Oh right. Roger was looking over their shoulder at the letter.

“It’s always hard to tell with this shady company, I just hope they didn’t send a bomb or something.” They examined the box… it was a regular cardboard box with some tiny holes on the sides. Weird.

They fetched a pair of scissors and cut the tape on the top of it to open it…

 

It’s… a bunny? No. It can’t be. It looks weird. It has fangs. It’s got antennae instead of ears. And… eight little legs?? And to top it all off it’s kinda cute either way???

 

They carefully picked up the creature. It’s soft. But not in a fluffy way. And it’s as big as a cat. They look back into the box, noticing a document. “Hang on, can you hold this for me?”

“Erm-” The Bouncer hesitated as the creature was basically shoved into his hands. “I- uh- okay-” He held it by its sides, as gentle as possible, while they picked up the document and began reading again. He could only see the title; Deep Sea Bunnies.

The bouncer snapped his head back to the sea bunny when it made a small noise. It was wiggling its little feet between his bony thumbs. And he couldn’t help himself from thinking how adorable it was. He positioned it so he could cradle it close to his chest and pet it, and it purred as his hand grazed over its head to its back.

 

“Awww.” The human glanced at him from the document. “I think she likes you!”

“She?”

“I think it’s a girl. What should we name her?”

“Hmm..” Roger brought her close to his face, to which she started sniffing and trying to lick his face. “Lavender.”

“Really? Lavender?”

“Well, she’s… a bit purple like lavender.”

“Alright, Lavender it is then.” They said while they scratched the top of Lavender’s head.