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sing me a song of life

Summary:

... of laughter and joy and loss and love

or

five drabbles of various sizes and lengths that all revolve around lexie grey and what could have been or could have happened or what maybe did.

Notes:

five drabbles on lexie my child.
i just want lexie and meredith to be happy sisters and lexie and mark to be in love and happy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

i.

her sister nearly dies.

lexie almost dies.

meredith has to repeat it over and over in her head as she ties to let it sink in. her sister could be dead right now, and the thought… it scares her. so much.

she can so clearly remember all those things she said to her sister, the ‘i don’t want to get to know you’s and the ‘i never wanted a sister’s and every other shitty thing she’s told her in an attempt to push her away. she regrets them all now, now that her sister is barely alive and she can count the number of times she’s told the girl she loves her on one hand.

she’s ashamed of it all now, and sitting by her beside now and staring at the cuts littering her face. this is her sister, a sister that’s only ever tried to love her since the beginning.

and now she knows it has to change.           

this is her sister, and she’ll be damned if she lets another day go by without making sure lexie knows how much she matters. how much meredith loves her.

she’s not letting this happen again.

 

ii.

he’s dead.

he knows. he can tell, even with callie’s crying echoing in his head and the pressure of derek’s hand in his lingers. both of these things fade, though, into the blank whiteness that seems to overtake his sense.

and then he’s in an elevator. the hospital elevator, to be exact.

it all shifts so quickly that it takes his sense a moment to catch up. he can feel elevator moving beneath him, hear the hum in the air. he’s still reeling when the doors open with a ding and there’s lexie, her hair in a ponytail and her eyes bright.

he breathes her name and she grins, wide and full and it lights up her whole face.

“i’ve been waiting,” she murmurs.

“have you been waiting long?” he asks, because it feels like the only thing he can think to say.

“not nearly long enough,” she breathes, and he only has moments to respond before she’s got her arms around him and her face against his neck.

 

 

iii.

when the doorbell rings, there’s rain against the window and it’s late at night. so late, in fact, that meredith almost ignores it, but when she looks out the window she can see whoever it is hunched over on her porch, she feels bad enough that she gets up and opens the door.

she isn’t expecting to see lexie there, water soaked into her clothes and her eyes red and puffy.

“can i come in?” she asks, so soft and pitiful that meredith doesn’t even hesitate before she’s grabbing the girl and pulling her inside. lexie gives no resistance as she’s tugged over the threshold, does nothing but stand there as meredith pushes the jacket from her shoulders and lets it fall to the ground with a plop.

“i’ll get you something to dry off with,” the blonde says, turning around and jogging up the stairs to the linen closet. she pulls a couple towels from the shelves and stops to grab some clothes from her room before making her way back down the stairs to find lexie standing exactly where she left her, staring down at the puddle of water gathering around her feet.

“i broke up with mark,” lexie says as her sister starts to dry her off, dabbing at the water on her arms first, and then moving on to her face.

“lex, i’m sorry,” she replies, before tugging at her shirt. when lexie nods, lifting her arms wordlessly, meredith takes the bottom of the shirt and pulls it over her sister’s head, and after a moment of consideration, spins her around and unhooks her bra as will. she tosses both pieces of clothing over towards the coffee table before grabbing the sweatshirt she brought and slipping it on over her bare skin. torso covered, meredith pauses, eyes flicking down to her sister’s sopping pants. taking off lexie’s shirt was one thing; her pants are a completely different story. still, she can see the way her sister shivers, so she swallows once before she grabs the waistband of her sister’s pants and tugs down, sighing a little when they don’t move.

“can you unbutton your pants?” she asks, soft as she can. lexie complies, shimmying them down slightly and allowing for her sister to pull them down the rest of the way. when they’re on the ground, she steps out of them.

the shorts meredith brings down go on easy after that, and when meredith looks back up at her sister, she’s crying, tears streaming down her face and sobs beginning to rack her body. the blonde pulls her sister into her arms and leads her over to the couch. words and blubbers start to spill from lexie’s lips as she collapses against her meredith, hands fisting in her older sister’s shirt as she breaks down.

meredith nods, rubbing circles on her sister’s back until she calms down, and she doesn’t even realize that lexie’s fallen asleep until she’s snoring against her shoulder.

and really, she would move, but risking lexie’s sleep seems just cruel

 

iv.

mark is lying on the ground when she gets there, arm reached out under the wing of the plane, and somehow, seeing here makes all of this seem real. she drops down onto the ground beside him and he scoots over to let her get close.

lexie looks bad. she looks so bad with cuts and blood on her face but she actually smiles when she sees her sister, and meredith already can feel the tears in her eyes because this is her sister and she’s dying.

“lexie,” she whispers, voice cracking over her name as she reaches out to take her hand.

“meredith,” lexie breathes, and even though she sounds so weak, she closes her fingers over her sister’s.

“you were a good sister, mer,” she murmurs, continuing even when the other girl shakes her head. “you were. you never even wanted to be but you were a good sister.”

“i want you,” meredith chokes out. “i want you, lexie. you’re my sister and i want you.”

“you were a good sister,” lexie repeats. “i love you.”

“i love you, too,” the blonde replies.

and she holds her sister’s hand until it goes limp.

 

v.

when mark goes to visit his daughter in the nursery, he is not expecting to see lexie.

but there she is all the same, hand in the incubator and staring down at his daughter with a fondness in his her eyes that makes something in his chest ache.

when she looks up and sees him standing there, her eyes go wide and she freezes.

“oh, um- hi,” she stumbles out, pulling her arm from the incubator. “i was just, uh- i’ll go-“

“no, it’s… it’s fine,” he assures her, unable to stop the grin that starts blooming on his face. “she’s pretty cute, huh?”

“yeah,” lexie agrees, a small half-smile twisting her lips. she looks up at him and opens her mouth to say something, but she snaps her mouth shut a few moments later.

“something you want to say?” mark asks.

lexie shakes her head. “nope,” she replies quickly, and he raises an eyebrow at the way her voice goes up in pitch. she looks up to see him watching her and feels the heat rushing to her cheeks. “it’s nothing, just that…”

he doesn’t stop looking at her no matter how many times she glances away, and she can feel the words rising in her throat until-

“i could love sofia,” she blurts, and if that wasn’t enough, she doesn’t stop. “like a daughter.”

mark is still staring at her and her face feels so damn hot when he starts to smile. it starts small but soon it’s overtaking his entire face until she can’t help but return it.

sofia shifts in the incubator, brushing up against her hand, and she wouldn’t trade the way her heart swells for anything.

Notes:

in case you weren't clear on what's happening

[ i ] -lexie nearly dies and meredith gets woke
[ ii ] -lexie and mark die and they reunite
[ iii ] -lexie and mark break up so lexie shows up on mer’s doorstep in the rain sobbing instead of going to alex’s
[ iv ] -meredith is a little bit earlier and gets to say goodbye to lexie
[ v ] -lexie is sitting at the incubator, ‘visiting’ with sofia shortly after her birth, and when mark shows up, she blurts that she could love sofia, too

find me at: the-cricket-song.tumblr.com