Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Perk up. This could be a good thing, you know.”

Adora sighed at her brother’s easy optimism. She knew she shouldn’t; really, she was lucky he wasn’t furious with her. After all, it was her fault they were in this situation.

“I don’t know,” Adora said, “I just want to get through the year and get out.”

“Hey,” Adam flashed her an easy smile and nudged her lightly as they made their way down the drab hallway of the new school. “It might be fun to meet new people. Are you going to try out for soccer here? I’m going for the football team, obviously.”

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, not feeling super enthusiastic about anything right now. Soccer was kind of a sore spot at the moment. “Maybe.”

“You should,” Adam said, “you’d get a place on the team instantly. Anyway, I think my homeroom is this one here. You want me to walk you to yours?”

“That’s the benefit of a new place,” Adora said with a slightly bitter smile, “you don’t have to babysit me anymore.”

Adam’s smile faltered and he reached out to squeeze her shoulder lightly. “Look, I know it sucked how things went down, but…”

“Just…” Adora interrupted, shaking her head, “it doesn’t matter. Fresh start, right? Go to class. I’ll be fine.”

He looked uncertain, but after a few moments, he nodded and turned towards the classroom door. “I’ll see you at lunch, alright?”

“Sure,” Adora nodded, and she waited until he left to let the true misery show.

Truthfully, she hadn’t wanted to move. But a fresh start had been necessary, and it was totally her fault. She’d been far too trusting, and she planned on rectifying that here. She was going to keep her head down, focus on her studies, and graduate with good enough grades to get into a good college. That was as far ahead as she could bother thinking.

Bright Moon was a quiet place, her parents had told her when they’d decided on the move. A quiet place where she could blend in, finish her studies, and put everything that happened in Eternia behind her.

Adora glanced back down at the schedule and school map the lady at the front desk had given her. She figured out where she was, and where she needed to be, and set off down the hallway trying to think at least slightly positively.

That all flew out of the window when Adora saw her.

She was walking through the hallway flanked by her two friends. She was gorgeous, and that wasn’t an opinion exclusive to Adora, by the way the girl seemed to turn everyone’s heads as she passed. 

Her curly brown hair fell down her back in perfect waves, not a single strand out of place. She carried herself with the confidence of a supermodel, and Adora wasn’t surprised when she looked like that. Her features looked as though they were carved by the gods; her perfect nose, her sharp jawline, and the most striking of them all, her eyes. One was a deep honey-amber and the other was crystal blue.

She was truly the most beautiful girl Adora had ever seen. And that was a huge problem.

“I see you’ve noticed Satan over there.”

“Huh?” Adora felt her cheeks flushing red as she tore her gaze away from the girl and turned to whoever had spoken. “Sorry, were you talking to me?”

The gorgeous girl strutted past them without a single glance, like she was totally oblivious to how much the world seemed to want her. The girl who had spoken to her followed the other girls down the hallway with her gaze. An intense wave of dislike seemed to emanate from her.

“Satan,” the girl repeated, nodding down the hallway once the other girls turned the corner, “Catrina Driluth, but everyone just calls her Catra. Head cheerleader. All the girls want to be her, all the guys want to fuck her, and she’s completely fucking evil from head to toe.”

Adora let out a nervous laugh and had to make a conscious effort not to look back in the girl’s direction again, even though she was gone. “I’m sure she’s not that bad.”

“A freshman fucked up on a lift last year at nationals and she made the poor kid pay for it so much that she ended up transferring,” the girl said flatly, “and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.”

“Oh,” Adora murmured in response. She wasn’t entirely sure why this girl was telling her all of this. Maybe she thought she was being helpful or something, but Adora didn’t know. “Well, uh, thanks for the warning, I guess.”

“No problem,” the girl said, closing her the locker she was stood by casually, “you looked like you didn’t want any trouble.”

Adora watched after the girl as she headed down the hallway, the sentiment echoing in her mind. Trouble was a million percent something she didn’t want. She’d had enough of that back in Eternia.

Adora glanced back at the map and class schedule in her hands and sighed. She started making her way in the general direction of her homeroom class and her mind happened to wander back to that beautiful girl again.

“No,” Adora said, derailing that train of thought, “not happening.”

She didn’t plan on getting involved. Not at all. If anything, Adora had already decided to avoid the girl like the plague from the moment she saw her. A girl like that could only bring her trouble.

And trouble was exactly what she was getting away from.

Adora never thought she’d wish she had a lot of homework, but it would certainly take her mind off things right now.

Her brother had gone for the football team and made it, but that wasn’t Adora’s problem. The problem was that Adam hadn’t passed his driver’s test, so he needed Adora to wait until his football practice finished and drive him home.

That still wasn’t the problem. The problem was that the cheerleaders were practicing on the same field, and Adora was having a hard time ignoring it.

Like, seriously, did they really need to make those skirts so short?

Adora forced herself to look down at the book that she wasn’t really reading, and hoped to god the cheerleaders would go somewhere else soon. She still had another ten minutes to wait until Adam’s practice ended, and considering the last fifty had felt like an eternity, that didn’t bode well.

Adora stared pointlessly at the page in front of her, and then finally chanced a look up. She regretted it instantly.

The freshmen - or maybe just the cheerleaders who were deemed less important - were being ordered into different lifts by an irritable looking Catra. Her arms were folded across her chest and she was looking at the other cheerleaders disapprovingly. Adora realised her eyes were wandering when she noticed toned, tanned legs, and quickly shook her head and forced her eyes upwards.

Catra was flanked by a short asian girl with hair dyed in a galaxy of purple and pink. Adora wasn’t sure how hierarchies worked when it came to cheerleading, but she guessed that the other girl was Catra’s second in command.

The other cheerleaders executed the lift and the three girls at the top all spun and flew down into the other girls’ arms. Adora was pretty impressed, but Catra merely scoffed and said loudly, “well, if that’s what I have to work with this year, we have no hope for nationals. I doubt we’ll even make regionals. Again.”

Like Catra’s word was law, the girls got back in formation again.

“Hey there!”

Adora jumped in surprise and accidentally slammed her book closed. She turned around to see who had spoken, and met the smiling face of a girl. She was broad, tall, with hair so white it had to be dyed, and she sat down right next to Adora completely uninvited.

“You’re the new kid, right?” The girl started off, “well, one of them, anyway. It’s not too often we get anyone new around here. Small, tight knit community and all that. Anyway, I’m Scorpia. What’s your name?”

“Adora…” Adora answered. She heard a sharp, “pathetic. Again,” from Catra and remembered what Scorpia had caught her doing. “I’m just… I’m just waiting for my brother.”

“Yeah, he made the football team, right?” Scorpia said, and Adora wondered how fast word travelled here. She decided that she didn’t want to know what they were saying about her. “I met him yesterday. I’m actually the captain of the soccer team, and he told me you were thinking about trying out. Apparently you were getting looked at by scouts from Division I schools.”

Thanks, Adam, Adora thought sarcastically, even though she knew he meant well. “Uh, I wasn’t really sure. Honestly, I just want to get through the year unscathed.”

Plus, soccer was still a sore subject. But she wasn’t going to tell Scorpia that part.

“The soccer girls are really nice!” Scorpia assured her, like that was the problem. “And we’re one of the best teams in the state. We’re that good that we even get the cheerleaders at our games, and they’re only supposed to cheer for the football team. The girls say it’s just because I’m friends with Catra, but I don’t think…”

Adora tuned out from Scorpia’s rambling as the words set in. An impulsive idea set in, and when she looked back at it later that night, she put it down to the part of her that got her in trouble back in Eternia. Sane Adora would’ve never done something so stupid just to look at someone.

“Okay,” Adora said, “when are your tryouts?”

“We actually already had them,” Scorpia said, and Adora almost thanked the lord above and the heavenly spirits, but then… “but we can make an exception for a player like you. Obviously we’ll need to see how you fit in with the team and stuff, but a Division I standard player should fit right in.”

Adora almost backed out, but Scorpia’s earnest smile made her feel guilty. Out of her peripheral vision, she caught the cheerleaders rehearsing again, and felt even worse. Why had she said yes?

Seriously, what was wrong with her?

“Actually, I’m throwing a party next Friday,” Scorpia said, “you should come along. All the soccer girls will be there. Your brother’s probably going, since he made the football team.”

“I have a feeling I’m not going to have much choice in the matter,” Adora said quietly, and Scorpia laughed, clearly thinking it was a joke. But Adora knew her brother well, and knew what he was like when he set his mind to something. This whole fresh start thing was obviously in the forefront of his mind.

She saw Catra snap at one of the poor freshman girls and wondered how she was going to get out of this one.

“Bro, you used to love parties!”

Adora rolled her eyes and shoved her brother as she got out of the car. She’d volunteered to be the designated driver, even after their dad had insisted he could pick her up. The last thing she wanted to do was drink. For Adora, alcohol was like a truth serum, and she really didn’t want to spill her guts to these people.

Seriously, she did not want to have to move again.

“Don’t call me bro, loser,” Adora said irritably, “and anyway, I don’t care either way. I just don’t get why you’re so obsessed with forcing me to make friends. I already said I’d join soccer, didn’t I?”

“Fine, sis,” Adam retorted, that shit-eating grin on his face, “and anyway, I’m not forcing you to do anything. I just want my sister back.”

“I’m literally right here,” Adora said dryly, “did you bonk your head at football practice or something?”

“No, I just mean… you’ve been so mopey since everything went down,” Adam said, and when Adora opened her mouth to argue, he quickly added, “and I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be mopey, because it sucked. But like, we’re in a new place. Nobody knows us or what happened. Might as well make the next year more bearable, right? You know, by making friends. Maybe even dating.”

Adora scoffed. Dating. That was rich. “Yeah, I don’t think there’s anybody who’s my type around here.”

Frankly, Adora didn’t think she’d meet anyone, the way things were. But she’d made peace with that. It was fine.

“Always such a downer,” Adam said, and she could tell from the way he was smiling that he’d already had a couple of drinks. “Friends, then. You can still make friends, can’t you?”

Adora sighed as Adam turned and went full steam ahead into the party. She had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

Her brother headed straight for the drinks, the same way she would’ve done this time last year. She followed after him dejectedly, and as he poured a generous amount of vodka into a red solo cup, she went for the orange juice, sniffed it for good measure, and then took a sip.

“Dude, you have no chance.”

“I’m telling you, I do,” Adam was saying to a couple of the football guys when she finally walked over and joined him, “I was basically a god at my old school.”

Adora snorted into her cup at the words. It was the first time she’d laughed in what felt like decades, but it died quickly when she realised who her brother and the guys were talking about.

She followed their gazes and saw Catra stood talking to some friends. She was sipping from a cup that likely had alcohol in it, judging by the glassy look in her beautiful eyes. She was still wearing that stony expression, like she wasn’t enjoying herself at all and just there out of obligation. She was wearing a tight little skirt that showed way too much leg, and a cropped shirt that showed off her toned core.

Adora forced her gaze away just in time to hear her brother saying, “I’m going to ask her out.”

Her stomach churned. One of the football guys laughed and clapped Adam on the back. “Good luck with that, bro.”

Another one of the guys grinned and said, “we’ve all tried. She doesn’t date.”

Adora knew she was taking too much interest in the conversation. But she shifted a little closer to her brother and the guys to hear more.

Adam scoffed. “Dude, she’s the head cheerleader. I bet she’s fucking half the football team on the down low.”

As much as she hated hearing that kind of thing from her brother, Adora waited to hear the guys confirm it. Thankfully, they didn’t.

“Nope,” one of them shook his head, “trust us, she’s impossible. All the other cheerleaders will put out, except her and Glimmer Moon.”

“Yeah, but Glimmer’s dating Bow, right?” The other guy said, and the first one shrugged in response. The guy shook his head and added, “anyway, it’s impossible. She’ll laugh in your face then ruin your life for even thinking about asking her out.”

Adam laughed. “Ruin my life? I doubt that.”

“Nah, bro, she’s in the FBI or some shit,” the guy said, “she can dig up anything on anyone. Piss her off one day, and suddenly everyone knows your deepest, darkest secrets.”

Something in Adora’s stomach dropped as she glanced back over at Catra. Definitely dangerous, she thought, and Adora knew she was going to keep her distance, stupid, impulsive thoughts be damned. 

“Adora!”

Adora turned around to see Scorpia coming at her full throttle, drink in her hand. She already looked a little tipsy herself, but she quickly threw an arm around Adora’s shoulder and whisked her away from her brother and his friends.

“Come on, you should meet the team!” Scorpia exclaimed, and before Adora could protest, she was pulled into a group of around ten girls, all varying levels of drunk. “Guys, this is Adora! She’s going to be joining the team.”

“I haven’t even tried out yet,” Adora said, mostly to Scorpia, “I could suck.”

“Aw, don’t be modest!” Scorpia announced to the group, “Division I schools have been looking at her! You’re going to be a great asset to the team, I just know it. I have like, a sixth sense about this kind of thing.”

“Right…” Adora said, and Scorpia went full steam ahead and started introducing the team. Adora only managed to catch the last few names.

The girl Scorpia had identified as Mermista asked in an uninterested tone, “so like, what position were you at your old school, or whatever?”

“Striker,” Adora answered, “but I’m not trying to like, take anyone’s position or whatever. I’m just happy to play.”

She wasn’t really, just forced into it by her brother who seemed determined to make Adora sociable again. And she supposed it wouldn’t be bad to be friendly. She just didn’t want anyone getting too close and finding things out.

“I’m sure we’ll find a place for you,” another girl said, and Adora was pretty sure she was named Perfuma, “we always work out where everyone’s strengths are. We’re trying to win nationals this year since most of us are seniors, so we’re not afraid of switching up positions.”

That had been Adora’s dream last year too. Going to nationals and winning with her team. But things happened, and that dream had been snuffed out. Now, she didn’t even care about soccer anymore. But if she could get a scholarship because of it and take the strain of college tuition off her parents, it might be worth trying her best here.

“That’s cool,” was Adora’s only comment before Perfuma was pulled into a conversation with a couple of the other girls about one of the cute guys on the football team. She really hoped they weren’t talking about her brother.

Adora stood around awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. For someone who was always pretty social, she wished she had a little liquid courage, but she knew that was a bad idea. So she just hung around and sipped on her orange juice until she caught Scorpia’s gaze and tried to think of something to say.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t even blame alcohol when she stupidly asked, “are you really friends with that Catra girl?”

Scorpia frowned over her cup, and Adora quickly tried to make amends.

“I mean, I’ve just… heard some not so nice things,” Adora said, and then realised how that sounded, “and you’re just like, really nice, and… yeah.”

It didn’t make sense, that someone who seemed genuinely friendly like Scorpia would be friends with a girl most people likened to the devil incarnate.

“Oh,” Scorpia seemed to brighten up at the compliment, and then she shrugged, “yeah, wildcat can be a little… abrasive sometimes, I guess. But she’s nice underneath it all. I guess she’s just got to be pretty authoritative to keep twenty girls in line.”

Authoritative was one word for it, Adora thought. Despite her beauty, Catra reminded her far too much of the mean girls back in Eternia. 

She clearly didn’t look too convinced by Scorpia’s words, because she smiled and said, “hey, I can get her over here if you want. Seriously, she’s not that bad. It’s just… she’s under a lot of pressure, you know.”

“No, no,” Adora said quickly, shaking her head, “that’s fine, you don’t need to do that. I guess I just didn’t want to make any assumptions based on rumours.”

That was exactly what she was doing, but Scorpia didn’t need to know that. The last thing Adora needed was to end up on a mean girl’s radar. Especially gossipy ones who apparently had some FBI agents working for them to dig up incriminating information on people she didn’t like.

“I get that,” Scorpia said, smiling, “that’s why I try my best to be nice to everyone.”

Adora opened her mouth to answer, but she was interrupted before she could by one of the younger girls she guessed was on the team. The girl gasped excitedly and announced, “guys, they’re playing spin the bottle over there, come on.”

As the team started to rush off, Scorpia nodded in their direction and asked, “you coming?”

“Uh, no,” Adora shook her head, “spin the bottle is definitely not my thing.”

“I can hang out over here with you if you want,” Scorpia said, “I don’t want to ditch you–”

“No, it’s okay,” Adora said quickly, already deciding that she wanted to get out of here, “I only really came to meet the team, so… I’m probably going to head out.”

“Oh,” Scorpia frowned, “are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, already scanning over the room, trying to locate her idiot brother. She was relieved when she spotted him with the football guys, and not drunkenly asking out the most gorgeous girl on the planet. “I’m just going to try and wrangle my brother into the car. I’ll see you later, though.”

“Okay…” Scorpia trailed off as Adora turned to try and fight her way through the crowd to her brother, “later!”

More people had clearly arrived since Adora and Adam had. The house was packed, and because the music was so deafeningly loud, barely anybody actually heard Adora saying excuse me, trying to get through. She eventually resorted to using her elbows and shoving her way through, finally reaching her brother and grabbing him by the arm.

“Adora!” Adam grinned, and she realised he’d probably done a few shots since she’d last seen him. “Guys, this is my sister!” he yelled to the rest of the team, and a few of the guys nodded in greeting.

Adora nodded back and quickly shouted over the music at Adam, “Hey, can we go? I’m kind of bored and I can’t exactly leave you here.”

“Come on, don’t be a buzzkill,” Adam replied, “the party’s barely started.”

Before she could protest, one of the football guys interjected. “Don’t worry, I’m not drinking. I can bring him home later if you want to get out of here.”

Adora frowned, not sure if she should trust this guy. He was definitely sober, she could tell that much, but he was also a complete stranger, and if Adam did some dumb shit that got him killed or whatever, their parents would kill her. 

The guy smiled softly, and there was a certain kindness in his brown eyes that almost made Adora trust him. He stuck his hand out for a shake and said, “I know you don’t know me, but I promise you can trust me to look after him. I’m Bow. The guys always make fun of me and call me the mom friend at these things.”

She’d heard his name before, and it took her a few moments to place it. One of the guys had said it earlier, and apparently he was dating one of the cheerleaders.

“That sparkly girl’s boyfriend?” Adora asked, and Bow laughed.

“Yeah, that’s one way to describe her,” he smiled fondly, “she’s a big fan of shots, so I’m always looking out for her. One more person won’t be any trouble. I’m basically a professional babysitter.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “Alright, where is she now, then?”

“In the kitchen, getting herself another drink,” Bow said, and when Adora craned her neck over the throngs of people, she found that he was right. “See?” he grinned, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Fine,” Adora finally gave in, but only because she really wanted to get out of here. She turned to her brother and shouted over the music, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, so you have until I’m done to change your mind. After that, I’m heading out, okay?”

“Sure thing! See you later.”

Adora sighed and rolled her eyes, looking back at Bow. “You’ll make sure he gets home safe?”

“You have my word,” Bow smiled and put a hand over his heart dramatically, “bathroom’s upstairs, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Adora answered, and just so he knew she was serious, she added, “if he’s not home by one, you’re both dead. And I’ll help my parents kill you both.”

Bow laughed. “Somehow, I don’t doubt that.”

She turned and pushed through more people, and it took her way too long to actually find the stairs. As she climbed up them, she realised she had no idea which room was actually the bathroom, so she pushed open the first door she saw.

Big mistake.

“Come on, babe,” a guy was saying, and Adora almost backed out immediately, realising she’d interrupted something, “I know you want to.”

Adora paused just as she was about to slam the door and run out of the house, bathroom be damned. The girl scoffed and muttered, “that’s ridiculous,” in a drunken slur, but the guy hadn’t stopped pushing.

She realised who the girl was and her stomach dropped. Catra was lying lazily on the bed, some guy Adora didn’t recognise half on top of her. He seemed much more sound of mind than she did.

“Come on,” the guy said again, his hand dangerously close to the hem of Catra’s skirt, “being the perfect virgin is so last year.”

Catra pushed the guy away, but there wasn’t much strength there. She was obviously really drunk. “Fuck you. That’s none of your business.”

“It could be my business,” the guy said, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

“Not interested.”

“Now I know you’re lying,” the guy said, leaning forwards, despite Catra moving back, “everyone’s into me.”

Every instinct she’d had since she moved here had told her to be careful, and this was decidedly not that. Every single cell in Adora’s body was screaming at her not to get involved, but she opened her mouth anyway.

“She said she isn’t interested.”

Both Catra and the boy looked around in surprise. Neither had noticed the company in the room. Catra stayed silent, gazing up at her, and Adora realised yep, definitely drunk.

The boy, on the other hand, pulled his letterman jacket tighter around his shoulders and smiled condescendingly. “I don’t think I was talking to you.”

“No, but she was,” Adora answered, seeming much more confident than she actually was, “and she said she isn’t interested. That’s usually your cue to walk away.”

The boy sized her up and seemed to decide that whatever he was thinking wasn’t worth it. He rolled his eyes and turned to Catra with a smirk. “See you round, babe,” he said before he pushed past Adora and left the room.

Then she was alone with Catra. The one girl Adora knew she should avoid from the moment she first saw her. The lovely summary of her she’d heard had only solidified her initial decision.

Adora opened her mouth to excuse herself from the room, but naturally Catra beat her to talking.

“I didn’t need your help, you know.”

The words came out a little slurred, and Catra pushed up slightly, like she was trying to get up from the bed, before she seemed to give up and flopped down against the pillows with a sigh.

“Well,” Adora cleared her throat and decided to remove herself from the situation entirely, “sorry if I overstepped, then. I’m just going to—”

“Wait,” Catra said, and even drunk she sounded commanding. Commanding enough for Adora to stop, anyway. Adora supposed she had to be like that, being head cheerleader.

So Adora waited. Catra looked her up and down with glassy eyes and finally frowned.

“Why don’t I know you?”

It wasn’t the question Adora had expected. Nervous under that heterochromatic gaze and knowing she needed to get out of this situation ASAP, Adora shrugged and tried to be as uninterested as possible, like her heart wasn’t beating out of her chest.

“I’m new around here,” Adora said, “just moved.”

Catra hummed, and Adora figured that would be the end of that. But then Catra asked, “where from?” and Adora found herself actually answering.

“Eternia,” she said, even though she’d sworn she’d never talk about that place again.

Catra hummed again. “Never heard of it.”

“It’s pretty small,” Adora said, and even though she wanted to keep her distance from the devastatingly pretty girl in front of her, she also wasn’t going to walk away when she was clearly so drunk and vulnerable. “Look, do you need a ride home or something? I was just going to head out anyway, so…”

She didn’t know why she offered, but she couldn’t in good conscience leave Catra alone. Not with that creepy guy lurking around, anyway. Catra looked at her, frowned, and then let out a noise that sounded something like agreement.

“This party was getting boring anyway,” Catra said, and Adora took that as a yes. Catra pushed herself to a stand, staggered, and Adora hurried over to steady her. “Hm,” Catra mumbled, blinking up at her. Her eyes – those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes – were trained directly on Adora, studying her with apparent x-ray vision. “I still don’t know your name.”

“Adora,” Adora managed to get out with some semblance of calm. As calm as she could be while a pretty girl was gripping onto her arm, anyway.

“Adora,” Catra repeated, like she was trying the name out. Outwardly, Adora hoped she remained composed. “I’m Catra.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Catra,” Adora said, glancing towards the bedroom door. “Now, let’s get you home.”

Adora dreaded walking out of a bedroom with her arm steadying the most popular girl in school. She didn’t want any unnecessary attention, and frankly, Catra was a beacon for it. But Adora got lucky; her classmates were far beyond drunk at this point, much like Catra herself, and only a few people actually seemed to notice them as Adora pushed a pathway through the crowd.

She was relieved to get outside, away from the loud music and crowded space. Adora couldn’t believe she actually used to enjoy parties, but she supposed she was a little more carefree back before everything happened.

Quickly, Adora shrugged the thought off and led Catra down the street towards her beaten up old car. From what everyone had told her, Adora expected Catra to turn her nose up at old Swift Wind, but she didn’t say anything as Adora helped her into the passenger seat and closed the door behind her.

When Adora walked around to the driver’s side and got in, she opened her mouth to ask Catra for general directions to her house. But Catra beat her to it, yet again.

“You’re not going to murder me, right?”

Adora blinked, completely taken back by that. “Uh, what?”

“I mean, I figure you’re not going to, because you’d probably get caught pretty quickly,” Catra said, “but getting into a stranger’s car when you’re drunk as fuck is like, the easiest way to get murdered.”

“I’m not going to murder you,” Adora answered, and even mustered a little laugh. As beautiful as Catra was, the pressure was off knowing she wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. “I’m just going to take you home. So… if you could tell me where that is…”

Catra laughed. It sounded a little bitter. “I don’t particularly want to go home.”

Adora frowned. “Everything okay?”

“Just peachy,” Catra grimaced. She didn’t elaborate.

“Well…” Adora frowned, conflicted on what to do, “no offence, but you’re pretty drunk, and I don’t think it’d be safe for me to like… let you wander off. Because that would be a good way to get murdered.”

“Take me wherever,” Catra sighed and rested her head against the window, “I don’t really care. I’m completely fucking over partying.”

“Um…” Adora drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, unsure if she was going to start the car, “I was just going to go home, but… I mean, you can come if you want. Sober up, or whatever.”

She cringed internally at her own desperation, but she told herself she wasn’t doing this because Catra was attractive, and Adora was maybe a little attracted to her. No, she was doing it because it was the right thing to do. Adora still intended on avoiding Catra like the plague – the girl could cause way too many problems – but she was going to make sure she got home safe first.

“Sure,” Catra said finally, not turning around to look at her, “that’s fine. Just get me the fuck out of here.”

Adora was still unsure, but she nodded and put the car into drive. “Okay.”

There was an awkward silence as Adora pulled away from the curb. At least for Adora, anyway; Catra didn’t seem bothered at all. For a moment, Adora assumed she’d fallen asleep and didn’t know how she was going to manage that situation, but a block away from the party, Catra spoke.

“Why’d you move to this shithole, then?”

Adora was a little taken aback. She didn’t entirely want to answer because the truth wasn’t something she wanted getting out here. Last thing she wanted was to move again.

“My dad got a new job,” she said eventually. She left out the part where it was her fault he had to look for one in the first place. “I didn’t really mind moving, though. Seems okay here.”

Okay enough to keep her head down, and get through senior year, anyway.

Catra laughed, and she sounded a little bitter. “I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here, but each to their own, I guess.”

Adora couldn’t understand why. To all appearances, Catra was on top. From what Adora had heard, she ruled Bright Moon High with an iron fist and supposedly had absolutely no flaws like she was above every other mere mortal. Everyone wanted her. Everyone knew her.

Then again, Adora understood that it wasn’t always the best thing, to be known. Because nobody really knew you, yet everyone wanted something from you. Adora had learned the hard way that it was far easier to fly under the radar.

It was quiet for the rest of the drive, and Adora started wondering how she was going to explain this to her parents. They were probably still awake. It wasn’t too late. After everything that happened in Eternia, Adora was lucky that her parents were so cool. But if they thought the worst about this, then they might not be so great about everything.

Whatever, Adora thought as she pulled up to the house. There was nothing going on here, and her parents would understand that. She was just doing the right thing. After all, she couldn’t leave Catra drunk on the side of the road.

“We’re here,” Adora said as she switched the car off, “I’ll make you some coffee when we get inside. That helps people sober up, right? And then I can take you home.”

She was mostly thinking out loud, but Catra snorted and muttered, “I don’t like coffee.”

Adora waited until she’d gotten out of the car and walked around to the passenger side to help Catra out to answer. “Well, you can have a soda or something, then. Caffeine will work, I think.”

Catra shrugged. “Whatever.”

Adora didn’t know what to say; frankly, her mind was spinning and she hadn’t thought further than explaining this to her parents. So she kept quiet and helped steady a stumbling Catra as they walked up to the front porch. She fumbled with her keys and managed to unlock the door, and typically, the moment she helped Catra inside, the door to the lounge opened and Adora ended up face to face with her mother.

She could read the look on Marlena’s face instantly. Adora hoped her own expression conveyed ‘this isn’t what it looks like’.

“Adora, you’re home early,” Marlena said, “and I didn’t know you were bringing a friend home. Where’s your brother?”

“It’s not--um,” Adora took a breath and explained, “Adam wanted to stay out for a while, so he’s getting a ride with a friend. And, um, she’s really drunk and she wouldn’t give me her address. I couldn’t just leave her like this.”

“You could’ve,” Catra said, glancing up at her with narrowed eyes, “but apparently you’re actually kind of nice, new girl.”

“Um, yeah,” Adora felt something in her stomach shift and quickly pushed it away before addressing her mother again, “I’m just going to let her sober up enough so she won’t get in trouble when she goes home.”

Marlena sighed, but she nodded resignedly. “Okay. Just… be sensible.”

Adora nodded, and as she passed her mother to walk Catra down the hallway to her room, Marlena muttered in her ear, “door open.”

Adora felt her cheeks flushing bright red, but she nodded subtly in reply. She helped keep Catra steady until she could sit her down on the bed, making sure to keep the bedroom door wide open.

There was an awkward silence once Catra was sitting down. Adora didn’t know what to say, and Catra was drunkenly gazing around the room, examining it just like she’d examined Adora earlier. It seemed she took everything in with extreme detail, because she snorted and picked up Adora’s old stuffed Scooby Doo toy.

“Nice,” Catra said, and placed it back down where it rested against the pillows, “you cuddle that every night?”

Adora expected that to be all over the school by Monday, if Catra even remembered this whole thing. 

“It’s not mine,” she replied lamely, even though it was in her bedroom, on her bed. “Um, anyway, I’m just going to grab you a soda. Stay there.”

Catra just hummed in reply, and Adora backed out of the room, heading to the kitchen. She rifled around in the refrigerator for something that might work, and eventually settled on a can of coke and grabbed a bottle of cold water for the possible dehydration. After thinking about it for a few moments, Adora grabbed some painkillers from the cupboard. Catra could take them once the alcohol wore off and the inevitable hangover started coming in.

Once she was sure she had everything, Adora headed back to her bedroom, announcing, “okay, I’ve got some coke for–oh, shit.”

She cut herself off when she realised what had happened. Catra had laid down and gotten herself comfortable. Either way, she was completely out, sprawled out on Adora’s bed, on top of the sheets. Catra’s arms were wrapped tightly around Adora’s Scooby Doo plush, and Adora stood for a moment, just gazing at the gorgeous girl passed out in her bed.

Then she realised the trouble she was in and snapped out of it.

Quickly, Adora put everything she was carrying down on her side table. After a few moments of hesitation, she reached out and gently shook Catra to try and wake her up. The only response she got was a quiet snore.

“Oh, god, can you please just wake up?” Adora said, mostly to herself, but Catra was out cold. She stepped back from the bed and looked at that complicated girl, and decided that her life was probably over.

She doubted her parents would move again because of Adora’s silly mistakes, but she knew she was going to be floating the idea to them anyway. She wouldn’t be surprised if on Monday, the entire school was talking about the predatory lesbian who got shoved out of her old school and would probably give everyone AIDS.

Not like it hadn’t happened before.

Resigning herself to her fate, Adora grabbed the blanket from the end of her bed and pulled it over Catra. Deciding she’d think about how much shit she was in tomorrow, Adora grabbed the pillow that didn’t have Catra’s head on it and figured she’d be sleeping on the couch tonight.

How the fuck was she going to explain this to her parents?

Adora woke up with a sore back and a knot in her throat.

She shifted on the couch and sat up, glancing over at the clock on the wall and noting the time. It was seven-thirty. Adora had always been an early riser, even on the weekends.

She sat up, the knitted blanket she’d been using as a comforter half discarded on the floor. She knew she had to face whatever situation awaited her in her bedroom. Maybe it would be better if Catra had woken up in the night and left on her own. Maybe she wouldn’t remember who had brought her here.

Or, worst-case scenario, she didn’t remember Adora helping her out, and assumed Adora had brought her here to feel her up or something.

Sighing, Adora stood up and headed into the kitchen. She knew she probably shouldn’t wake Catra up at this time when she’d had so much to drink last night, but she wanted to get Catra out of here before Adam woke up. She could hear his snoring coming from his bedroom, and could imagine the shitshow that would happen if he woke up to the gorgeous head cheerleader having spent the night in Adora’s bed.

She grabbed some extra painkillers for good measure and decided to rip the bandaid right off. It was time to face Catra.

Adora crept anxiously down the hallway and paused before opening her bedroom door. She sucked in a deep breath and counted slowly to three before pushing it open.

As soon as she did, she squinted into the darkened room and saw Catra lying there on the bed. At first, she thought she was still asleep, and almost turned around and walked right back out. But then Catra’s head moved, and Adora felt her cryptic stare.

“Okay, so, uh… try not to freak out.”

Adora realised quickly that those probably weren’t the most reassuring words to say to someone when they’re just waking up after a night of drinking. But then, if Catra didn’t remember anything, she would freak out.

Catra stared at her for a moment, and Adora couldn’t read her at all. She had no idea what Catra could be thinking.

Slowly, Catra pushed herself up onto her elbows and surveyed the room. Always bad in awkward situations, Adora quickly added, “you fell asleep last night. I don’t know if you remember what happened, but—”

“I remember,” Catra said, and then her eyes narrowed. That definitely wasn’t the kind of look Adora was expecting. “Why did you help me?”

Okay, Adora thought to herself, not what I thought she’d ask. Catra looked incredibly wary, and Adora didn’t entirely know what she wanted her to say.

“Why?” Adora repeated, and Catra nodded once, still looking at Adora like she was guilty of some kind of crime. Maybe, Adora thought quickly, the things everyone had told her did ring true. “I helped you because it was the right thing to do. That guy was being a creep, and you were drunk off your ass.”

Catra continued to study her, and her face was completely neutral as she asked, “and why was that your problem?”

“Um,” Adora didn’t know what to say to that, “because I’m not a sociopath. You see someone who needs help and you help them. Or at least, that’s what I do. Unless you wanted that guy to take advantage of you.”

Adora received another stare under that x-ray gaze, until Catra finally looked away and said, “no.”

Adora blinked. “What?”

“No, I didn’t want him to take advantage of me,” Catra said slowly, like Adora was a complete idiot. But then she softened and murmured, “thanks. For helping.”

Admittedly, Adora hadn’t expected a thank you. “Oh. You’re welcome.”

An awkward silence permeated the room, and Adora wasn’t sure if she should be relieved. Catra was looking right at her, definitely thinking about something, and Adora didn’t want to let her voice whatever thoughts might be going around in her head.

“There should be some painkillers on the side table,” Adora said, “and water. And, uh, the lamp isn’t very powerful, if you want some light without it giving you a headache. I can take you home whenever you want.”

“That’s fine,” Catra muttered, but she leaned over and flicked the lamp on. She cringed a little regardless of how weak the light was, and quickly took the painkillers. “I can walk home.”

“Are you sure?” Adora asked, even though that was probably for the best. “I mean, you’ve never exactly been here. You probably don’t know how far away from home you are.”

Catra raised an eyebrow irritably. “I think I can find my way in the town I’ve lived in since birth, but okay.”

“Alright,” Adora said, not wanting to poke the bear anymore. Whatever happened, this was the last time she’d talk to Catra. She’d already figured that much out. “Whatever you want.”

As she turned to leave, Catra stopped her.

“Wait,” she said, and Adora paused, turning around. Catra’s gaze softened again, and she looked so beautiful that Adora almost zoned out and didn’t hear what she said. “Sorry for… you know. Kicking you out of your bed. Kind of a dick move since you don’t know me.”

Then let me know you, that crazy, impulsive part of Adora thought, but she didn’t voice it. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’d do the same for anyone else.”

It was a lie, and they both knew it. Catra let out a breath that sounded a little like a laugh and shrugged. “I don’t know if that’s true.” She let the comment sit for a few seconds and pushed the blanket off herself. “Anyway, I’ll get out of your hair now. What time is it?”

“Seven-thirty,” Adora answered, and Catra cringed as she stood up and adjusted her now wrinkled skirt. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride? Honestly, it’s not a big deal.”

“You’ve done enough,” Catra said quietly, and glanced around the room. “Is my purse here?”

Adora frowned. She couldn’t remember Catra having a purse on her last night. “I think you might’ve left it at the party.”

“Right,” Catra sighed irritably, “whatever, Scorpia will keep hold of it for me.”

“I’ll…uh, show you to the door, then,” Adora said, and turned awkwardly down the hallway. Her brother was still snoring in his bedroom, which was a good sign. She didn’t know that Catra was following her until she opened the front door and turned around.

Catra winced at the sunlight streaming in from the front door. She looked tired, her wild mane of hair messy, but she was still somehow so beautiful. Adora wondered what it was like to be that kind of person.

“Here,” Adora said stupidly, grabbing her hoodie from where it was hanging on the coat hook. “It’s kind of cold out, so…”

Catra looked at the hoodie, and for a moment, Adora thought she was going to reject it. Maybe it would be better if she did. But after a few moments, she reached out and took it. Catra’s fingers grazed against hers, and Adora felt a spark light in her chest. She was surprised - Catra’s fingertips were slightly calloused and rough - but Adora figured it was probably from cheerleading.

“Thanks,” Catra said finally, and looked at Adora again, like she was searching for something. Adora felt completely naked under her gaze. But finally Catra looked away and stepped out of the front door. She paused as she stepped onto the porch. “Your name is Adora, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Adora answered, and then wondered if she should’ve. 

“Okay,” Catra said. She looked like she was going to say something, but then merely shrugged and added, “see you around,” before heading down the driveway, onto the sidewalk, and out of sight.

Adora didn’t know what to think about any of that. She guessed she’d find out on Monday.

Chapter Text

She didn’t find out on Monday.

In fact, nothing at all happened. Life went on, and Catra didn’t acknowledge her once. Like they’d never even met.

Well, something happened, but not to Adora. The guy she’d caught trying to take advantage of her had had the gall to ask Catra if she wanted to try again without interruption right in the middle of the cafeteria.

Adora had the pleasure of watching her humiliating him in front of the entire cafeteria, taking him down a notch and letting everyone know exactly how creepy he was.

“You know, if you want girls to like you,” Catra had said in a completely bored tone, “you don’t push yourself onto them like a total creep to impress your idiot friends. Or maybe you’re overcompensating for something, hm? Maybe it’s not girls that you want to like you.”

But she didn’t acknowledge Adora once.

Adora couldn’t understand why she was so disappointed. After all, it’s not like she wanted to get involved with Catra. Frankly, she counted herself lucky that nothing bad happened and moved on with her life. Especially after witnessing that scene in the cafeteria.

So, that’s what Adora did. For two weeks, she avoided even looking at Catra, despite the temptation in her chest. Catra was a big question mark - she certainly didn’t seem like she was plotting how to ruin Adora’s life or anything - but she also didn’t look like she was going to thank her besides that one muttered thank you at Adora’s house.

It didn’t look like Adora was going to get her hoodie back, either.

So she went through her business as usual, keeping to herself, attending the soccer practices that she still felt weird about, and hiding in the library at lunchtimes. Her homework was benefitting from Adora’s lack of social life, at least.

Life went on, until she had the rare treat of an early finish for soccer practice, and then realised she still had to wait for her brother anyway. So Adora made her way to the bleachers and attempted to go over the topic they were studying in her world history class.

It was really quite hard with the cheerleaders practicing on the field, but whatever. She managed to get into some kind of zone with it, and she was just reading through a paragraph about the failures of the League of Nations when it happened.

“Are you stalking me or something?”

Adora jumped in surprise at the voice, slamming her book closed without remembering to mark her page. She looked up and met Catra’s gaze.

She was standing there in her cheer uniform, that irritatingly short skirt actively mocking Adora while she scrambled to answer.

“What? No!” Adora shook her head, “no, no, no, of course not.”

“Okay,” Catra said slowly, quirking an eyebrow up in what almost looked like amusement, “I was joking, but now I think you actually might be.”

“Definitely not,” Adora took a breath and forced herself to calm down, “my soccer practice ended early, and I’m just waiting for my brother to finish football so we can go home.”

Adora nodded across the field, and Catra followed her gaze. After a few moments of quiet, she slowly sat down next to Adora, clearly oblivious to how much Adora was panicking.

“Your brother?”

It took her a moment to realise that Catra had asked her a question.

“Oh,” Adora said, “Adam Gray. Blond, blue eyes? New guy on the team. We’re twins.”

Catra let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh. “Interesting.”

“Sorry if he’s bothered you at all,” Adora said without thinking, and when Catra raised an eyebrow, she added, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he said he was going to ask you out.”

Catra really did laugh this time. She didn’t bother telling Adora what was so funny about that.

“What?” Adora asked directly instead. “Think my brother’s funny, do you?”

Admittedly, she said it a little defensively. Even though it was her fault she’d blurted it out, she wasn’t going to let a girl who possessed the lovely nickname Satan hurt her brother.

“Not him specifically, no,” Catra said, “but he’ll know by now that I’m not interested in involving myself with morons like him, and it’s just funny how not wanting them makes them want you more.”

“He’s not a moron,” Adora said, because only she was allowed to call him that, “anyway, did you want something? Or did you just come here to be an asshole?”

Catra really raised her eyebrows then. Like she was surprised someone actually had the guts to speak to her like that. 

Meanwhile, Adora was internally cursing herself for having more guts than brains, but that didn’t matter.

“No,” Catra said slowly, “I came to give this back to you.”

Adora glanced down at the thing she was holding, and realised it was the hoodie she’d resigned herself to never getting back.

“Oh,” Adora said, and she took the offered hoodie, “well, thanks.”

She expected Catra to leave, but she didn’t. She stayed where she was, looking thoughtful, and after a few moments of quiet, she added, “I do appreciate what you did for me. Most people would’ve just looked the other way, so… thanks. Genuinely.”

Adora found herself smiling, if not partially out of the relief that Catra wasn’t going to tell the whole school she was some kind of creeper. 

“It’s okay,” Adora said, “it was the right thing to do, and I’d hope that if I were in that kind of situation, someone would do the same thing for me.”

Catra looked thoughtful, and she opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but then Adora heard her brother’s loud, “hey!” as he came rushing over. She knew his excitement wasn’t because he was happy to see his sister, and the weird grin on his face was purely for Catra’s benefit.

He stopped in front of them, and barely glanced at Adora when he did some awkward attempt at a smirk and said, “hey there.”

Catra raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by the whole thing, and Adora swore she heard her mutter, “not a moron, huh?” to herself before she stood up and actually spoke. She looked down at Adora with a small half-smile on her face, and Adora was struck by her beauty.

“I’ll take that as my cue,” she said, “see you around.”

“See you around,” Adora said, and she found herself watching the cheerleader’s retreating form as she made her way down the bleachers’ steps.

“Dude!” Adam was the one to make her finally tear her gaze away. “Why didn’t you tell me you made friends with her?”

“Uh,” Adora shook her head, “because I didn’t.”

“She was sitting here talking to you,” Adam said, and before Adora could explain that, he begged, “put in a good word for me. Come on,” he insisted as Adora rolled her eyes, “it would give me so much credit with the guys on the team if I got her to go out with me.”

Adora scoffed quietly. “Do you even like her, or do you just want to date her so your teammates will think you’re cool?”

“Duh, of course I like her, she’s hot,” Adam said, and Adora had to agree. She agreed even more when he added, “even if she’s a little scary.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Adora said, “because we’re not friends.”

It wasn’t a lie. They weren’t, and never would be. Adora didn’t doubt that the whole party-rescue debacle would be her first and last interaction with Catra.

That new girl was interesting.

Normally, Catra wouldn’t pay any attention to new students. People came and went all the time, and it didn’t matter to her, because she’d be out of here and ghosting everyone after graduation. But there was something about Adora that drew her in.

She knew it was probably that thing that she didn’t talk about, but frankly, she couldn’t find it in her to care all that much. 

Naturally, she found herself paying attention. Watching Adora in the few classes they shared, always keeping her head down and avoiding any gazes, like she didn’t want anybody to talk to her. She hid in the library during lunchtimes; Catra had spotted her when she went to return a book, and saw her again the next day when she went back to… browse. And Scorpia had told her enough about Adora dodging the soccer team’s casual social events for her to know that Adora clearly didn’t want to get involved with people.

From Catra’s experience, that meant that Adora was hiding something.

Catra would know; she was hiding something too.

She thought about asking Glimmer to find out what she could - Sparkles had a crazy talent at knowing everything about everyone - but Catra would rather find out herself. In a less crazy FBI stalker way, and more of a… get to know her way.

It definitely didn’t mean anything when she allowed cheer practice to end early, on a day that the coach had left her to run practice. Even with Glimmer’s wide-eyed insistence that we can’t cancel, we need to be amazing for sectionals. 

Honestly, Catra didn’t care too much about sectionals. They needed to win, yes, because the only reason Catra bothered with the idiotic sport was because it was another shot at a scholarship, if she didn’t manage to get an academic one. But ten minutes of practice time wasn’t going to cost them in the long run.

“Are you crazy?” Glimmer asked her, following her into the locker room. “You literally made everyone stay an hour later the other week because we weren’t good enough. You know those freshmen aren’t up to–”

“Sparkles,” Catra cut her off as she shouldered her gym bag, “I have things to do. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Uh, bitch, no you won’t,” Glimmer said, “you’ll see me tomorrow night. Sea Hawk is throwing a party and you’re coming.”

“Fine,” Catra rolled her eyes, “am I dismissed now?”

“You are,” Glimmer said, “even though I think there’s something you’re hiding about this little act of kindness.”

Catra knew that Glimmer could easily find out, if she wanted to. But being the head cheerleader meant that Glimmer wouldn’t use her FBI powers on her, and that was yet another reason why Catra stayed doing it. If you were on top, you were in control.

She decided she’d wait until she was home to change and shower before escaping again; her mother wouldn’t be home until seven. She made her way through the locker room, the gym, and out onto the back field where she knew the girls’ soccer team would be. 

It wasn’t hard for her to identify Adora on the pitch.

She was good. Actually, better than good. Adora was an incredible soccer player, tearing across the pitch and leaving everyone else in the dust. She could see why Scorpia kept her on the team, even though she was apparently incredibly antisocial and messing with team synergy.

Whatever that meant.

Catra leaned against the doors, watching as the soccer girls played. She wasn’t entirely sure why she came here, and she put it down to temporary insanity. Still, she didn’t find herself leaving, and she was still watching when Scorpia called the girls over, gave them some kind of pep talk, and then dismissed them.

They would be coming this way, and if Catra wanted to get out unnoticed, she should’ve moved. But she didn’t. She watched carefully as Adora hung back from the rest of the team, who rushed over to the doors. A few of them spared her a confused glance or two, and a couple of the younger girls just looked a little frightened, but that was fine by her. Fear meant that nobody could mess with her.

“Wildcat!” Scorpia called, bounding over happily, “what’re you doing here?”

Stalking one of your teammates was her first thought. Funny how she’d joked that Adora was stalking her, when really it was the other way around.

“Came to ask when your first game is,” Catra said easily, like that really was the reason she was here, “making sure it doesn’t clash with any of the football team’s games, since we’re apparently legally required to cheer for them.”

“It’s in a few weeks on Friday night,” Scorpia said, “it’s a home game too, so it should be fine.”

“Okay,” Catra hummed, and then saw Adora hanging around on the pitch, clearly trying to avoid something. Maybe her? “How’s the new girl working out?”

“She’s an amazing player,” Scorpia said, “it’s just… I wish she’d join in more, you know? We work better as a team if we’re all friends. I mean, you get that, right?”

Not really, Catra thought. To be completely frank, she wouldn’t consider any girl on that cheer squad her friend, besides Glimmer. “I guess,” was what she really said, “make up some social event and tell her it’s a compulsory team bonding exercise or something.”

Scorpia brightened. “Good idea, wildcat. Ooh, maybe I could book one of those outdoorsy places and we could go on a whole camping weekend!”

“Okay, that might scare her off,” Catra rolled her eyes, “anyway, I have to go. Got places to be tonight and I think your new addition is going to hang around out there until I leave, so…”

Scorpia glanced over, and without an ounce of subtlety, shouted, “Adora, what’re you still doing on the pitch? Didn’t you say you had to meet your brother?”

The brother was another interesting one, though definitely not in the same way Adora was. Amusing, more than anything. She knew that he would try to ask her out at some point; they all did. And that wasn’t even her being big-headed or anything. If she rejected one of them, three more always showed up in their place. 

Everybody knew that she wasn’t interested, and the morons always saw that as a challenge. They just didn’t know why she wasn’t interested, why she’d never be interested. That was a secret Catra planned on keeping. 

She couldn’t imagine how bad it would be if it got out that the head cheerleader was into girls.

Reluctantly, Adora approached them. She stopped, glanced at Catra nervously, and then ignored her completely to tell Scorpia, “good practice today.”

“Yeah, you too,” Scorpia smiled, “we’re all going out for ice cream now. Do you want to come?”

“No thanks,” Adora didn’t hesitate, “like you said, I have to meet my brother.”

Maybe it was childish - actually, it was completely childish - but Catra couldn’t help herself. “Tell him I’m still waiting for my opportunity to shoot him down.”

“I’m not–I’m not gonna do that,” Adora mumbled, and then she hurried past to go to the locker rooms and change. Catra smirked to herself, and when she looked back at Scorpia, she was looking at her disappointedly.

Catra rolled her eyes. “What? She told me herself, her brother’s going to ask me out. You know I’m not going to say yes.”

Scorpia hummed thoughtfully. “I know. It’s just… maybe go easy on her? I think she’s got some stuff going on, and she doesn’t need anything else on top of it.”

“Come on, I was only teasing,” Catra rolled her eyes, but upon a stern look from Scorpia, she sighed, “fine, maybe it was a little childish.”

“Thanks,” Scorpia smiled, “anyway, I better go change. I’ll see you later, wildcat.”

“Later,” Catra said, watching after her as she went. 

Adjusting her gym bag on her shoulder, Catra cut across the field to leave school property. She still didn’t know what was so interesting about Adora Gray, but she’d be damned if she didn’t find out.

Another Saturday, another party Adora was dragged to.

She was standing awkwardly in the kitchen of some guy’s house. Honestly, this would probably be easier if she had a drink in hand, but she couldn’t risk it so she’d volunteered as driver again.

She couldn’t risk spilling anything. Both figuratively and literally, because she’d probably end up pouring beer all over some cheerleader and spend the rest of the school year making up for it.

So she hung around, watching. She’d seen Catra a few times, but she’d never spoken to her. No, she wasn’t that stupid. Catra was dangerous, and Adora wasn’t going to go looking for that. Scorpia had tried to wrangle her into some drinking games with the soccer girls, but Adora couldn’t really bear it. 

Hanging out with them would remind her of everything she lost back home. 

Honestly, hanging out at a party was doing that enough.

Adora waited until her brother seemed sufficiently tipsy, and then went to find that Bow guy again and ask him to keep an eye on Adam. She could slip out unnoticed now that her brother was drunk.

Once she had Bow’s assurance that Adam would be fine, Adora nodded, and slipped out of the back door. There were too many people out front, and if she ran into Scorpia or one of the other soccer girls, there’s no doubt in her mind that she’d be asked to stay.

She pulled the door closed behind her with a sigh, already wanting to curl up in bed and go to sleep. At least when she was sleeping, she wasn’t thinking.

“Hey.”

Adora jumped and whirled around, and her heart worked a little harder when she realised who had spoken. Catra was sitting on a lonely lawn chair, watching her. Adora’s nose wrinkled when she realised that Catra was smoking a cigarette.

“Smoking kills, you know.”

Catra looked right at her and took another drag. “So does alcohol.”

“Good thing I haven’t had any, then,” Adora said, and even though she knew it was a very bad idea, she sat down, “seriously, you’re an athlete, stop that.”

“I only smoke at parties,” Catra said, “I’m a social smoker.”

Adora snorted. “Because sitting outside by yourself is super social.”

“You’re one to talk,” Catra looked at her, a challenge in her eyes. She took another drag from her cigarette and said finally, “why do you even come to these parties? Since you always seem to leave early, and you’re clearly not a designated driver if you’re always leaving alone.”

That meant that Catra had been watching her. Adora didn’t know if she should be scared.

Instead of answering, she just retorted with, “why do you? You don’t seem like you enjoy them.”

Catra raised an eyebrow, almost like she was impressed. After a few moments of thought, she shrugged. “It’s expected of me to show my face. Your turn.”

Adora couldn’t decide if she should answer, but Catra had, and it had seemed honest. Eventually, she sighed and reworded some of the truth. “My brother drags me here. I had a hard time with the move, and he thinks it’s a good idea to put myself out there and make friends.”

Catra hummed. “Is that why you joined the soccer team?”

Adora’s eyes narrowed. Just how much did Catra know about her? “How do you know that?”

Catra let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh. “I’ve literally seen you practicing with them.”

“Oh,” Adora remembered Catra’s random appearance at practice yesterday, “yeah.”

“Anyway, even if I hadn’t,” Catra said, “I’m friends with Scorpia. I get treated to team updates whether I ask or not.”

“Scorpia,” Adora repeated, “you know, she claims that you’re secretly nice.”

Catra snorted. “What a horrible thing for her to say.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “So it’s not true?”

“What do you think?” Catra asked, taking another drag from the cigarette. She looked right at Adora as she blew the smoke out and said, “you seem to have formed an opinion of me already.”

Adora knew that she was playing with fire here. But Catra didn’t seem like she’d let her get away with not answering.

“I think…” Adora said, “I think you do what you think you have to. To stay in control. Even if that’s being some bitchy head cheerleader straight out of a shitty teen movie. I can’t exactly blame you for that, because I’m doing exactly the same thing. Just in a slightly different way.”

Catra levelled her with a strange look then, and Adora didn’t know what to make of it. Then she stubbed out the rest of her cigarette and dropped it in the ashtray left on the table. “Are you getting out of here?”

“Um… yeah,” Adora said hesitantly, “I was just going to go home.”

“Cool,” Catra said, getting up, “I’ll join you.”

Uh, what? Adora thought in alarm watching as Catra walked confidently over to the gate and stood by it. She waited, looking at Adora expectantly, and Adora didn’t know how to get her to change her mind.

Or really, how to tell her that she was absolutely terrifying, and Adora would like to remain fifty feet apart from her at all times.

“Well?” Catra raised an eyebrow. “God, are you slow? Come on.”

Just give her what she wants and maybe she’ll go away, Adora thought, so she stood up and followed Catra out of the back gate. Adora had been right; there were a lot of people out on the front lawn, most of them smoking, and a few heads turned when they saw the head cheerleader leaving with the weird new girl.

So much for not attracting any attention, but Adora already knew it was too late the moment she helped Catra out at the last party. She didn’t regret it at all - she would’ve felt guilty if she’d walked away and something bad had happened - but she did feel like an idiot for talking to Catra tonight.

She should’ve just walked away. It would’ve made things much easier.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home?” Adora asked as she followed Catra towards the car. She was surprised Catra remembered what her car looked like. “Wouldn’t you feel better like, going to bed?”

Catra let out a breath. It almost sounded like a laugh. “Scared I’m going to steal your bed again?”

“To be honest,” Adora admitted, “yeah. The couch isn’t very comfortable.”

Catra shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to grow the balls to kick me out later then.”

She wondered why Catra didn’t want to go home. It wasn’t like she was drunk - or, she didn’t seem it - so it’s not like her parents would be mad at her. 

So, when she sat down in the driver’s seat, she asked, “why don’t you want to go home? Is something wrong?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Not everything is an after school special, weirdo. I just don’t feel like it.”

It was definitely a defensive answer. But Adora knew what it was like to have secrets, and it wasn’t like she and Catra were friends, so she didn’t ask again. Instead, she just shrugged and put the car in drive.

Catra was quiet for a while, and Adora wondered why she even wanted to come with her. Again, it wasn’t like they were friends. Maybe this was some sort of tactic. A predator playing with its prey before it struck.

Adora didn’t doubt that Catra could find out about Eternia. That’s what made her so dangerous.

“You don’t like me very much, do you?”

It took Adora a few moments to realise that Catra had spoken. “Um, what?”

“I can tell,” Catra said, “it’s pretty clear that you’ve been avoiding me. Avoiding everyone, actually, but me in particular. Why is that?”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip. How the fuck could she answer that without making it obvious she was hiding something?

Turned out she didn’t have to.

“I know there’s something you’re hiding,” Catra said, “there’s no other reason why you’d actively avoid everyone, try your hardest not to make friends. You don’t seem like an antisocial weirdo, but you’re trying to be one to keep whatever secret it is that you’ve got. And you’ve made a special point to avoid me because you think I can find out what it is. I could, if I’m being honest.”

Adora’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. “Is that a threat?”

Catra was quiet for a moment. Clearly she had to think on it.

“No,” she said eventually, “it’s not.”

Adora blinked, glancing at her. She didn’t look like she was lying. “Sure sounds like one.”

“It’s not,” Catra said, “I probably could find out, you know. Wouldn’t be hard. I’ve already charmed the woman who works in the office, and I could make some excuse to get in there and look at your file. Find out where your old school was, contact them pretending to be some character of authority. Find out the name of some other student and ask them what they know about you, because if whatever it was was so bad that you had to move, I don’t doubt the other students would know about it.”

“Go ahead and do it, then,” Adora said, trying to sound tough even though she was terrified, “ruin my life if it’ll amuse you so much.”

“What I’m saying is I could find out,” Catra continued, basically ignoring her, “very easily. But I won’t.”

Adora didn’t quite believe her. “And why not?”

“Maybe I am secretly nice,” Catra answered, and then she shrugged, “I know what it’s like to have secrets you don’t want getting out.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “And what secrets do you have?”

“Like I’d tell you,” Catra rolled her eyes, “what I’m saying is, you can stop wandering around like a weirdo and avoiding everyone. Nobody’s going to find out about whatever it is you did, or if they somehow do, it won’t be from me. It might shock you, but I don’t fuck with people for fun. Just when they fuck with me.”

“And if my brother pisses you off?” Adora said casually, like it wasn’t her biggest fear at the moment, “if he does something idiotic and sexist while he’s trying to ask you out? What then?”

“Then I’ll fuck with him, if it’s really that bad,” Catra shrugged, “but you’re not your brother. There’s no need for collateral damage.”

People at her old school didn’t seem to think so. When everyone found out about Adora, Adam got harassed for it. Even her parents did. But Catra actually seemed honest about it.

“Okay,” Adora said slowly, “why exactly are you saying all of this, anyway?”

“Like I said, you’re obviously not the antisocial weirdo you’re pretending to be,” Catra rolled her eyes, “nothing’s going to happen, so stop freaking out and actually talk to people. Make a few friends. Your life will be a lot easier, and you seem like you need that.”

Adora rolled her eyes. It sounded a lot like all of the stuff Adam had been saying to her, and she hadn’t wanted to hear it from him. Though, the assurance that her sexuality wouldn’t become the latest piece of gossip was a nice thing to have.

“Maybe I just want to get through the year and go to college,” Adora said, “there’s no point in getting invested in anything when I’m leaving in August and probably never coming back.”

“I’m doing the same thing,” Catra said, which surprised Adora completely. She was quiet for a moment, and Adora genuinely wondered how much Catra drank at the party when she admitted, “you know, even though I would say Scorpia and Glimmer are my friends, they know absolutely nothing about me.”

Adora frowned. “Why don’t you tell them things about you, then?”

“Oh, they know what I want them to think,” Catra said, “and that’s all they’re ever going to know. Letting them in is a risk I can’t take, especially not when I’m this close to finally getting out of here. But it’s not–it’s not fun, having to act all the time. That’s why I’m telling you not to do it.”

Whatever Catra was hiding must’ve been really big, Adora thought. As big as the thing she was determined to keep under wraps, at least until she was older. 

“Well, since you’re sitting here telling me to open up to people,” Adora said, “I’m going to say the exact same thing to you. Talk to them, if you trust them.”

“It’s not necessarily about trust,” Catra said, “it’s more… if I told them anything, even something as simple as I actually fucking hate cheerleading, they have leverage. Something they can hold over me. It doesn’t matter if they never would, it’s still there. Still an opportunity for them to take.”

Adora blinked. “You hate cheerleading?”

“Literally missed the entire point,” Catra rolled her eyes, “but yes. I only joined because a) it was a very easy way to get on top, and b) if I somehow don’t get an academic scholarship, I can get an athletic one. It’s some extra assurance that I’ll get out of this ridiculous fucking town.”

“Okay, but… you’re telling me this, but you won’t tell your friends?” Adora frowned. “You barely know me.”

“No, but I know you’ve got something you want to keep hidden too,” Catra said, and Adora had a feeling it would come back to that, “it’s mutual assurance.”

“So,” Adora said, “if I tell people you don’t like cheerleading, you’ll go right ahead and ruin my life?”

“You’re so fucking dramatic,” Catra rolled her eyes, “obviously not. Jesus, who the fuck do you think I am?”

Adora shrugged. “I think you’re the girl everyone so lovingly refers to as Satan.”

Catra was completely silent, and Adora instantly knew she’d gone a little too far. When she glanced over at Catra, Catra was already looking right at her.

“Yeah,” Catra muttered, “because high school gossip is a reliable source. You know what? This was a stupid fucking idea. Pull over.”

Adora hesitated, but shook herself out of whatever weird standstill she was in to pull up to the curb. Catra unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed the door handle, and Adora asked quietly, “what are you doing?”

“Getting out,” Catra snapped, “I’m going home.”

“Look, just–” Adora sighed, “you can’t walk home. Let me give you a ride at least.”

“I think you’ll find that I’m perfectly fucking capable of it,” Catra said bitterly, and when she looked right at Adora, Adora understood why everyone was so afraid of her. Talk about a look that could kill. “You know, I actually thought you were different. Decent. But I guess not.”

“Uh, okay,” Adora frowned, “you’re the one who’s been sat there threatening me this whole time.”

“I’m not fucking threatening you,” Catra shouted, and then she closed her eyes and took a breath. When she spoke again, it was much quieter, but not any less angry. “Don’t you get it? I was trying to offer you a friendship. Because you’re obviously so untrusting, I thought you’d feel better knowing that you’re not the only person on the fucking planet with a secret you don’t want getting out.”

Before Adora could say anything, Catra got out of the car, slammed the door behind her, and stalked down the street.

Adora watched after her, dazed, and when she finally understood what had just happened, she only had one thing to say.

“Fuck.”

Chapter Text

“Hey, um… can we talk?”

Catra rolled her eyes upon the words, knowing they were directed at her. She didn’t stop as she walked down the hallway, trying to ignore Adora and what was likely to be a grovelling apology to assure Catra wouldn’t go digging in her life.

She wouldn’t. Despite how Adora had pissed her off, whatever it was she was hiding seemed serious. Serious enough that her whole family had to uproot their lives and move to a new place. That wasn’t just petty high school drama.

Catra would know. Her things weren’t petty high school drama either.

Adora jogged to pass her, stopping in front of her so suddenly that Catra almost walked into her.

“Okay,” Catra rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest, “what the fuck do you want?”

Catra’s tone of voice attracted a few spectators. Probably excited to see whatever she was planning on doing to the seemingly harmless, innocent new girl.

The answer was absolutely nothing, but clearly Adora didn’t think that. Why else would she be here? 

Adora obviously noticed. She glanced around, and then murmured, “can we talk? Privately?”

“I don’t think we have anything we need to talk about,” Catra said, “now get the fuck out of my way.”

Catra went to push past her, but Adora was quick to stop her, grabbing her arm and making Catra tense up. “Wait.”

Catra yanked her arm from Adora’s grip. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“I’m sorry,” Adora said, “I just–I just wanted to apologise for the other night.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Here to clear your conscience, huh?”

“It’s not like that,” Adora said, clearly frustrated, “can we just go somewhere and talk?”

Catra pretended to think about it for a moment, and then smiled sarcastically and shook her head. “No.”

She pushed past Adora but rolled her eyes when she heard Adora’s footsteps chasing after her. Annoying and persistent, clearly.

“Wait,” Adora said, rushing in front of her and stopping again. Catra looked at her irritably, and at least Adora had the decency to look scolded. “Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have judged you based on rumours I’d heard, and that was wrong of me. Can we start over?”

Adora was looking at her hopefully, and though Catra was notoriously stubborn, she almost caved. 

“She bothering you, Cat?”

Catra’s gaze flicked over in the direction of the voice. It was Glimmer, stood there with a few of the new freshman girls on the squad, who looked eager to impress her. Catra glanced back at Adora, and all she looked was anxious.

Glimmer could be a problem. She wouldn’t care how potentially life-ruining her actions could be, if she disliked the person whose life was being ruined. It would be a good idea to get her away, even if Catra didn’t plan on forgiving Adora for her own recklessness the other night.

She never should’ve gotten in that car or tried to do whatever it was she was doing. It was reckless and stupid, and regardless of what she actually wanted, she should’ve kept away.

Finally, Catra answered. “No. No, she’s not.”

To Glimmer, she probably looked like she’d had a temporary lapse in sanity. Frankly, she had.

“Alright,” Glimmer looked at her confusedly, probably wondering what the hell she was doing talking to the new girl in the first place. “You coming to lunch?”

“In a minute,” Catra said, and Glimmer shot her a look that read we’ll talk about this later before she turned and headed down the hallway, the freshman girls trailing after her like little lost puppies. Catra looked back at Adora, who was still standing there, awaiting response.

Adora met her gaze and smiled a little nervously. Catra rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, trying her best to look like she didn’t find that incredibly cute.

“You know, you don’t have to pretend like you feel bad,” Catra said, “or apologise insincerely. I’m not going to go digging up your past trauma, and it’s kind of egotistical that you think I care so much.”

“I’m not doing it because of that,” Adora said quickly, and Catra raised her eyebrows, not quite believing her, “I’m doing it because… because I think you’re right. I do need a friend. And I think you do too.”

Despite how truthful the statement was, Catra scoffed. “I really don’t want or need your pity friendship.”

“It’s not pity,” Adora insisted, “I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge, and to be honest, you kind of scared me. Knowing that someone could find out…”

She trailed off, and looked a little distant at the thought, like she was disassociating from everything.

“So,” Catra said, because she wasn’t going to make it easy on her, “you want to be friends with me because you think I’ll spill all of your secrets otherwise?”

“What? No, that’s not what I said,” Adora said quickly, snapping out of her thoughts, “I think I understand what you were saying. And I get that you won’t… you won’t try to find out or go digging. And that’s why I want to be friends. You won’t pry.”

Catra raised her eyebrows. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, besides the fact that you pretty much said it,” Adora answered, lowering her voice a little, “you seem like you’ve got stuff you want to keep to yourself too. We could… trust each other.”

It was an attractive proposal. But the problem was, Catra wasn’t sure if she could trust herself around Adora. She knew the reason why she’d been so reckless the other night. She was letting her feelings get in the way. It was a problem.

Catra found that she didn’t really care. “Okay.”

Adora blinked. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra shrugged, “okay.”

“Oh,” Adora looked a little stunned, and then she smiled, and Catra had to look away, because she didn’t need to be having any thoughts about that. “Cool. Do you want to get lunch with me? Or is it, like, against the rules for you to sit with anyone that isn’t your cheer squad?”

Catra smirked. “Are you saying you don’t want to experience the joy of their company?”

“Not particularly,” Adora shrugged, “I don’t think we’d have much in common.”

“Unless you’re obsessed with boys, you won’t,” Catra said, and decided that she’d take a lunch off from having to hold back rolling her eyes at whatever boy the girls were obsessed with that week. “Alright then. Do you want to hide in the library like you always do? Because I don’t bring lunch from home.”

Adora raised her eyebrows, and she looked a little smug. “Have you been stalking me?”

“You wish,” Catra said, playing it off excellently, even though she actually had been, “let me grab a sandwich and we’ll go hide away from the rest of the student body.”

Adora still looked smug, but she nodded and followed Catra into the cafeteria. The smug expression on her face quickly died off, and Catra knew it was because of the interested stares they were getting. She’d learned to be unfazed by it, but clearly Adora was nervous from all the attention.

There was a long line for food, but that didn’t matter to Catra, merely walking past the underclassmen to the front. Being head cheerleader had its perks. Adora looked alarmed but trailed after her as the lunchlady asked, “the usual?”

“Nah, just a sandwich, please,” Catra answered, “I’m not hanging around today.”

The lunchlady grabbed a sandwich and passed it to her. “No cheer gossip interesting enough to stay for?”

“There’s never any interesting gossip,” Catra deadpanned, “thanks for the sandwich. Have a nice day.”

She flashed a charming smile and swept away, a stunned Adora hurrying to catch up to her. Despite the noise of the cafeteria, she caught Adora’s low murmur of, “your friend is looking at us. The glittery one.”

Catra snorted. “Probably trying to psychically communicate to me that she wants to know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“Great,” Adora muttered, “can’t wait for her to interview you later.”

“Interview?” Catra laughed under her breath. “That’s too light of a term for Sparkles and her annoying questions. More like interrogate. With some added waterboarding.”

As Catra pushed the cafeteria doors open and headed out into the hallway, Adora asked quietly, “what are you going to tell her?”

“Don’t worry,” Catra shrugged, “I hold up well under torture.”

Adora laughed quietly, and something in Catra felt warm. She quickly pushed it away. “You say that like it’s happened before.”

“I have to spend an hour after school every day with a bunch of idiots,” Catra said dryly, “that is torture.”

Adora smiled as she pushed open the doors to the library. “You make it sound like you hate them.”

“I don’t hate them,” Catra said, “I just don’t like them. Or at least don’t like listening to them talk. If they were completely silent, I’m sure we’d get along excellently.”

Adora hummed as she made her way to the table at the back of the library, hidden behind a few shelves. The one that Catra always saw her sitting at. “What a shame, that god gave other people the ability to talk.”

“I know, right?” Catra answered, even though she knew Adora was being sarcastic. She pulled out her own chair and opened up her sandwich, pulling out one of the halves and digging in. After a bite, she said, “so, you begged for my forgiveness. You can make conversation first.”

“Um… okay,” Adora laughed nervously, and if Catra was delusional, she’d think there was a blush on Adora’s cheeks, “so… if you don’t like cheerleading, what do you like to do for fun?”

There were a few things she could answer that with. If she were to be completely honest, she’d answer with kissing girls. But that wasn’t something she could admit, not even to someone she could potentially have a tentative trust with.

She hummed and punctuated the time she used to think with another bite of her sandwich. “I like to stargaze. I stay out pretty late at night, so I figured I should probably learn what I’m looking at when I’m staring out aimlessly at the stars.”

“Maybe you could teach me some things some time,” Adora said, and Catra ignored the thoughts she was having about that, “why do you stay out so late?”

“Getting a little too deep for our first date, don’t you think?” Catra’s mouth moved before her brain and blurted that out, and she started to wonder how dangerous this really was. She knew she was being reckless, obviously, but she was always so calculated with the things she said. Then this stupid girl comes along, and suddenly she can’t think.

She played it off quickly. “What about you, then? What do you like to do? Because you clearly don’t like going to parties.”

“I used to,” Adora sighed, like she was remembering something from a long time ago, “I guess they’re only fun when you’re drunk, and I don’t know if getting drunk is a good idea. I might… say stuff I wouldn’t want people to know. I don’t know how you manage not doing that, to be honest.”

“Oh, I don’t,” Catra shrugged, “I was being very reckless the other night.”

“And now?” Adora asked, “it’s not like you have the liquid confidence anymore. Unless you bring a flask to school or something.”

“I don’t, but that’s not a bad idea,” Catra joked, “I guess I just figured… maybe it’s not so bad to be a little honest with someone.”

Not completely honest; she wasn’t that crazy. But when Adora smiled brightly, Catra thought that maybe, one day, she could be that crazy.

If she didn’t get herself in check, this was going to be a problem.

“Oh, this is so exciting, your first game with the new team!”

Adora rolled her eyes fondly at her mother’s excitable demeanour. Marlena knew next to nothing about sports, and yet she was always the most excited at both Adam and Adora’s games.

“Mom,” Adam sighed, “please don’t embarrass me in front of the guys. I’m trying to make a good impression.”

“Your mother being supportive isn’t embarrassing,” Marlena scolded him, “besides, I’m sure all of their mothers will be there to cheer them on too.”

“Mhm, sure,” Adam answered, exchanging a she’s fucking crazy glance with Adora, who laughed quietly, “anyway, I have to go. Adora, mind walking with me to the locker room?”

She knew that was code for come with me and I’ll brief you on all the things you have to stop mom from doing. So naturally, she decided to be unhelpful. “Can’t you find your way by yourself? You’ve been to enough practices.”

“It’s important,” Adam said, “I need to tell you something away from embarrassing people.”

Randor laughed. “Oh, this is absolutely about a girl.”

“You like a girl?” Marlena jumped on, and Adam groaned dramatically. Usually, Adora would’ve been teasing him too, but she knew which girl he liked, and she didn’t want him to like her.

“It’s not a big deal, now go get your seats before they all fill up,” Adam said, and without giving Adora a choice, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from their parents. “You could’ve helped me out there.”

“I could’ve, but it was too fun to watch,” Adora said, a little half-heartedly, “anyway, what was so important that you had to talk to me about it?”

“Look, I know you’re friends with her. Catra, I mean,” Adam said, and when Adora opened her mouth to… deny it? He cut her off quickly, “don’t say you’re not, I’ve seen you two talking. She’ll be here tonight to cheer, and I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me. If we win, I’m going to make my move tonight.”

“She’s not going to say yes,” Adora answered, because she really hoped that Catra would say no. Not for any personal reasons, just because she didn’t want her brother taking away the only person she could be friends with around here. “So there’s no point.”

“There’s obviously a point,” Adam said like she was an idiot, “yeah, she doesn’t date random guys, but if her friend is telling her that a guy is good for her, maybe she’ll consider it.”

“You’re delusional,” Adora sighed as they stopped in front of the boys’ locker room, “but fine. I’ll talk to her.” More like warn her.

“Great,” Adam clapped her on the back as he pushed open the locker room doors, “see you on the flip side!”

Adora sighed, watching him go, and figured she’d at least give Catra a heads-up. The girls’ locker room was around the corner, and she made her way there anxiously. She hesitated outside the door, raising a hand to knock before she realised how stupid that was and opened the door.

Almost the entire squad was in there, getting ready for the game. Almost being the key word, because Catra was nowhere to be seen. At least as far as she could tell before someone stepped in front of her, looking her up and down aggressively judgmentally.

“I don’t think you’re on the squad,” said the sparkly girl, Glimmer, “can we help you with something?”

“I’m just, uh…” Adora paused, ignoring the too-familiar flashback she was having. I don’t think we want your kind changing around us. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said, “I’m just looking for Catra. Wanted to… wish her luck.”

“She doesn’t need luck,” Glimmer said sharply, “what do you want with her, anyway? Why is she so interested in you? I don’t think you’re the cheerleading type, so she’s definitely not trying to get you on the squad. She won’t tell me, but maybe you will.”

“I don’t know,” Adora said, because she really didn’t. She knows what Catra had said, but she still wasn’t entirely sure where she stood with her. “We’re… friends, I guess.”

“Catra doesn’t do things without a reason,” Glimmer said, “and she’s supposed to be my best friend, but she won’t tell me why. So, what is it?”

Glimmer folded her arms across her chest in a pose Adora assumed was supposed to be intimidating, but really she just looked like an angry, bedazzled garden gnome.

“Listen, I really don’t know,” Adora said, and tried to word it in a way that wouldn’t be weird and complicated, “maybe she’s just trying to be nice.”

Glimmer snorted. “Catra’s a lot of things, but nice isn’t one of them.”

“That’s a lovely thing to say about your best friend, Sparkles,” Catra said from behind them. Adora turned around, and saw her leaning against the door frame, smirking like she knew everything about everyone. “I’m the nicest person on the planet.”

“Yeah, and I’m the queen of England,” Glimmer rolled her eyes, “seriously, what the fuck are you doing? You’re acting weird, and I’ll find out why.”

“Sure,” Catra shrugged, pushed herself from the door frame and breezed past them, “what’re you here for, anyway?”

It took Adora a few moments to realise that Catra was talking to her. “Oh, um…” aware of Glimmer blatantly listening in, she admitted, “I came to warn you.”

“Warn me?” Catra snorted, “about what?”

“My brother says he’s going to make a move on you tonight,” Adora said, and tried not to be offended on her brother’s behalf when Catra outwardly laughed. Even Glimmer laughed. It was a complicated situation, because she loved her brother and wanted to defend him, but she didn’t want him to ask Catra out, either. “He asked me to come here and put in a good word for him.”

“And instead you decided to tell me he’s going to ask me out,” Catra answered, “you’re not the best wingman.”

“Well, I figured you’d say no regardless of how much I hype him up,” Adora shrugged, “so I thought I’d give you an advance warning, at least.”

Catra looked at her with a puzzled gaze, and then hummed in thought. “Well, thanks. I’ll try not to break his heart too badly.”

“Okay…” Adora said, and realising her work was done here, she turned towards the door. “Good luck tonight. Your friend said you don’t need it, but…”

“Don’t worry about her,” Catra looked right at Glimmer and smirked, “she’s just territorial. She loves me.”

“I do not,” Glimmer muttered irritably, “I just want to know what the fuck you’re planning.”

“No plans,” Catra shrugged, “can’t I make a new friend?”

“Not without a reason,” Glimmer said, “now get your hair in a pony and get your ass out there. Those freshmen need some of their resolve breaking before their first real cheer.”

She swept away, and Catra watched after her with an amused smirk. Her gaze flicked over to Adora, who was standing by the door awkwardly, and some of the façade seemed to drop, and something more real came through.

“Seriously, don’t worry about her,” Catra said, “she’s nosy, but if I tell her to back off, she will.”

Adora looked at her thoughtfully, wondering if Glimmer was onto something. If she could really trust that Catra was being genuine. “And the big plans she assumes you have?”

“Non-existent,” Catra said, and despite the nervous feeling in her gut, Adora believed her, “anyway, I’ll see you later. There’s an after party that I think we’ll both end up being dragged to. I expect a quick escape.”

“How are you going to slip away?” Adora asked, “everyone’s always watching you.”

“Maybe I’ll fake a fainting spell and you’ll heroically step in to save me,” Catra said, “wouldn’t be the first time you’ve rescued me.”

And with that loaded comment, Catra walked away from her, hips swaying in that dangerously short skirt. Adora had to compose herself before heading outside to meet her parents.

The team won. As much as Catra hated giving boys credit for anything, they were a good team.

Adora’s brother had yet to pounce, but she caught him looking at her a few times through the game. She knew she’d told Adora she wouldn’t break his heart too badly, but really, she didn’t think she’d break his heart at all. It was obvious he was only interested because he thought of her as a challenge. That was why they were all interested.

After all, it couldn’t be her sunny personality that drew them all in.

And according to Adora’s brother, just after the loud post-game celebration was the perfect time to strike.

She was walking back to the locker room with Glimmer when she heard him. “Hey, hey, wait up!”

She paused, knowing what was coming. Turning around, she saw him, flanked by a few smirking guys on the team who she’d already rejected, and who fully knew what was coming. He’d probably wanted the audience, just in case she said yes.

She almost felt bad for him, but she wasn’t sure if it was just because his eyes were the exact same blue as Adora’s.

“Hey, Catra…” He smiled anxiously, “so, I was thinking… since I scored the winning touchdown, maybe I could get lucky somewhere else, too.”

Catra raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that was your big line? Did you rehearse that in the mirror?”

The guys behind him laughed, and she noticed Bow behind them, cringing. He was the only bearable guy on that team, and she didn’t just think that because he was Glimmer’s boyfriend. He was actually a genuinely nice human. Bonus points because he’d never tried to ask her out.

Adam stammered over some kind of apology, and then tried again. “Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out. Maybe… be my date to the after party.”

Sometimes, if she felt like drumming up some chaos, she’d pretend to be interested. It always made the inevitable much more embarrassing for the guy. But this was Adora’s brother, and she’d promised to be nice.

Well… less mean than usual.

“You want to know a fun fact I’ve learned about boys over the years?” Catra said casually, and didn’t wait for him to answer, “they’re incredibly stupid creatures who seem to think that their ego, or maybe just their dick, is more important than a girl’s consent or interest. You’ve been here over a month now, and I’m sure you’ve heard already that I don’t date.”

“Uh… yeah—”

“Didn’t ask you to speak, genius,” Catra interrupted, “so you’ve heard this, and yet you still come over here and ask, even though you’ve said a grand total of three words to me until now. So, what exactly makes you think you’re an exception to the rule? Because the only exception you are is exceptionally stupid.”

The football guys surrounding him did an idiotic oof sound, and she ignored them as she turned on her heel and headed towards the locker room with Glimmer.

“What happened to taking it easy on him?” Glimmer laughed, “you know, for your new friend.”

“She’ll forgive me,” Catra shrugged, “and if she doesn’t, then I guess you have nothing to worry about.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “Come on, I just want to know what you’re doing. If you’re enjoying some sort of elaborate practical joke, I want in. Because it’s obvious that you’re not actually trying to be friends with her. She’s a total weirdo.”

Catra knew why she got so defensive, but it didn’t stop her from biting out an entirely uncomposed, “she’s not,” before taking a breath and saying, “look, I’m allowed to branch out. Make new friends. Not everything is some evil scheme.”

Glimmer frowned at her confusedly. “Damn, okay, don’t bite my head off.”

“Don’t get involved with something that doesn’t concern you, then,” Catra said irritably, “now let’s get this stupid after party over with.”

“Maybe you’ll be less bitchy once you’ve had some shots and a cigarette,” Glimmer muttered, and she was lucky that Catra let that one slide, “is your new bestie going to be there?”

“Probably,” Catra said, “not that it matters to you.”

“No, but if you’re going to abandon me again, I want to know where you’ve vanished to, at least,” Glimmer rolled her eyes, “wandering off drunk with an ass like that is dangerous.”

“Stop flirting with me, Sparkles, I don’t swing that way,” Catra said, even though she absolutely did, “go find your boyfriend. I’ll see you at the party.”

She slipped away from Glimmer while she was distracted and made her way into the locker room. As she grabbed her things from her locker and left the school grounds, she had a fleeting moment of idiocy where she thought about finding Adora and avoiding the party all together.

She pushed that thought away as quickly as it came. They were friends, but Adora was still dangerous. She couldn’t get too attached or she’d end up doing something stupid. She already felt stupid, giving into a silly little attraction when she was so close to getting out of this place unscathed.

No doubt once she’d had a few shots at the party, she’d forget all of that and seek Adora out anyway.

As she made her way home to change, she tried to clear her mind by looking up at the stars. Venus was especially bright tonight, and it felt like the entire solar system was mocking her. The planet of love shining down on her when it was the last thing she’d ever have.

She shook her thoughts from her head as she approached the house. It was in darkness, and her mother’s car was nowhere to be seen, but she couldn’t be too careful. Instead of going in through the front door, she slipped through the back gate and shimmied her bedroom window open, dropping inside without a sound.

She flicked her bedroom light on and opened the closet doors, trying to choose something acceptable to wear. As much as she hated skirts and dresses, showing up to that party in the clothes she actually liked would be too much drama. Glimmer already seemed to think she’d lost her mind.

“Because I have,” Catra muttered to herself, quickly changing and then flopping down on her bed for a few moments of peace before she had to head back out.

A few moments turned into an hour, and she ended up arriving at the party fashionably late, only sneaking out of her bedroom window when she heard the faint rumble of her mother’s car engine.

She found Glimmer by the drinks and didn’t hesitate to take the shots she was offered – god knows she needed them – and pretended like she cared when people tried sucking up to her, telling her how amazing the cheer squad was tonight. She knew they were only saying it to get on her good side; frankly, those freshmen girls were a mess, and the routine they had planned for sectionals would need a lot of tidying up.

She saw Adora around a few times, awkwardly hanging around her brother. She didn’t go over until she felt sufficiently drunk enough, and when she did, she knew she couldn’t have picked a better moment.

“I don’t know how you’re friends with her, honestly,” Adam slurred at his sister, who looked like she would rather be anywhere else, “she’s a stone cold fucking bitch. I mean, she embarrassed me in front of all the guys.”

It didn’t bother her when people said those things about her. Frankly, she could be a stone cold bitch. But she didn’t say anything to defend herself. She just watched, sipped her drink, and waited to hear what Adora would say.

We’re not friends, she expected. I know, what a bitch, was another decent option. She didn’t expect Adora to defend her.

“It’s interesting that you only think that now that she rejected you,” Adora said, “I told you she wouldn’t say yes, and she’s not a bitch for not being interested. And it’s your own fault for wanting an audience.”

That answer did enough to make something inside her soften, and it was easy for her to say loudly, “at least one of you is emotionally mature.”

Adam scoffed and stumbled away, probably to tell the next available person how much of a bitch she was. Adora just looked at her, eyebrow raised, almost like a disapproving teacher.

“What?” Catra scoffed, “I’m not wrong.”

Adora sighed. “You said you’d go easy on him.”

“I did,” Catra defended herself, before knocking back the rest of her drink, “it’s not my fault he got his panties in a twist about it.”

“I heard you,” Adora rolled her eyes, “that wasn’t going easy.”

“Fine, fine,” Catra sighed, and she knew it was the alcohol that made her do it when she reached out and took Adora’s hand, pouting at her dramatically, “I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

Adora pulled her hand back like she’d been burned, and somewhere in her sane mind, Catra noted that reaction down. “Fine. I guess you want to get out of here?”

“Very much,” Catra said, “let’s go.”

She turned and walked towards the front door, and Adora followed her quickly. “I don’t have the car, my brother was trying to get me to drink,” she said, “do you want me to walk you home? It’s getting kind of late.”

Not late enough. Her mother would still be awake, probably just opening her second bottle of wine. There was no way Catra would walk right into the danger zone. “I’m not tired.”

Adora sighed, like she knew that would happen, “we’ll go for a walk, then. You can… show me the stars. If you want.”

Catra hummed, playing it cool despite the feeling in her chest. “Okay. I know a good place.”

Despite the earlier bad reaction, and her own idiocy, Catra took Adora’s hand again. She pulled her along the sidewalk. Adora didn’t pull away from her this time, but she did tense up, which made Catra’s earlier delusion seem less like a delusion and more like a plausible theory.

After all, it’s something you’d definitely have to skip town for.

No, she was just being stupid. Projecting, or something.

She pulled Adora along the sidewalk until they found an open playpark. Catra pulled her over to the swings and let go of Adora’s hand like it was nothing once she sat on hers. “There’s not a lot of light pollution here.”

Adora hesitated, but sat down on the swing next to her, looking up at the stars. “What’s that one? The one that’s shining really bright.”

“Venus,” Catra said, “planet of love. It’s named after the Roman goddess Venus, who was originally the Greek goddess Aphrodite.”

Adora hummed, staring up at the planet thoughtfully. “And that other really bright one over there?”

“Jupiter,” Catra answered, “considered the planet of luck. Saturn’s just below Venus, but it’s not as bright because of how far it is, and its light takes around an hour to reach us. So technically when you look up at Saturn, you’re looking an hour into the past. Jupiter’s like… forty-five minutes.”

“Why do you know so much about this stuff?” Adora asked, “no offence, but I wouldn’t take you for a scientist.”

“Just because you say no offence before something doesn’t mean it’s not offensive,” Catra said, and before Adora could scramble to apologise, she found herself answering the question honestly, “I just wonder what’s out there, I guess. All the other exoplanets and galaxies that we still haven’t found. And it’s so far away that it’s comforting to look up and think about what I’m going to do when I’m not stuck here.”

“Give me an example,” Adora said, and when Catra looked at her, she continued, “ten years from now. Where do you see yourself?”

“Not here,” Catra answered quietly, “sometimes I think I’ll live in a city. Other times I imagine myself out in the countryside, no neighbours for miles. I think all I really want is to be happy one day.”

She’d never said something so real to another person before. She blamed the alcohol.

Adora hummed. “Why not try to be happy now?”

“Too complicated,” Catra shrugged, “and dangerous. The meaner I am, the easier it is to get by. People wouldn’t dare fuck with me because they know I could ruin them. That’s the way I want it.”

Adora was quiet for a while, like she was taking everything in. But Catra heard the pity in her voice when she said, “that sounds really lonely.”

“It is,” Catra muttered, “and sometimes I wonder if making myself so miserable is worth it. But then I remember the situation I’m in, and how much I need to get out of here, and it makes it easier.”

She was talking too much. At this rate, she’d end up telling Adora about how much her own mother hated her, about how no matter what she did, she’d never be good enough for that old hag. Maybe blurting out oh, and on top of all that, I’m secretly gay, too, for good measure.

Catra knew she’d put herself in a terrible situation. One where she could end up fucking up everything she’d built. If she was smart, she’d walk away now. Tell Adora that this whole thing had been a mistake, that she never should’ve spoken to her, and spend the rest of the year ignoring the girl completely.

Catra decided that she wasn’t very smart, after all.

“You know, I like you a lot more when you’re being real,” Adora said quietly, “I think Scorpia was onto something when she told me you were secretly nice.”

“That’s a stretch,” Catra rolled her eyes, ignoring the way that first comment made her feel, “Glimmer’s description is a lot more accurate.”

“I don’t think so,” Adora answered, “maybe your middle name isn’t Satan after all.”

Catra couldn’t help herself – that got a laugh out of her. “If you were looking at my birth certificate, you’d know it’s actually Lucy. Short for Lucifer.”

“Real fancy,” Adora smiled, and it was brighter than any of the stars in the sky. “Anyway, I’m getting cold. Do you want me to walk you home, or… or do you want to come back to my place?”

She asked the question, even though Catra knew Adora already knew her answer. “I’ll come back to your place.”

“Okay,” Adora said, and pushed herself up off the swing. Catra hesitated, looking at her framed in the starlight, and felt a warmth in her chest. “How drunk are you?”

The question startled her, and Catra realised that she’d been staring. She stood up anyway and said, “drunk enough that I’m answering your questions. Not so drunk that I can’t act sober in front of your parents.”

Adora laughed. “That’s the perfect amount.”

“Did it just for you.”

Adora knew what would happen when she showed up at home with an undeniably gorgeous girl, but she hoped she’d get away with coming in, taking Catra straight to her bedroom, and avoiding any awkward conversations with Marlena.

But naturally, the lounge door swung open as Adora was waiting impatiently for Catra to take her shoes off, and the awkward introductions had to begin.

“Mom,” Adora said, before Marlena could say anything, “this is my friend, Catra. We got bored at the party and decided to come hang out somewhere quieter. Adam’s fine, he’s with his friends, and Bow’s looking out for him. Anyway, we’ll be in my room!”

She grabbed Catra by the arm and yanked her down the hallway, ignoring the quiet, “what the fuck?” that Catra muttered under her breath. She tugged her into her bedroom, and even though she knew it’d probably draw her mom towards them, shut the door.

“Damn,” Catra laughed quietly, “what did you think I was going to say to her?”

“Not you,” Adora said, and realised belatedly that she was still holding onto Catra’s wrist. She dropped it and nodded towards the closed door. “Her. She’s embarrassing, and even though she thinks she’s super covert, she’s a blabbermouth.”

Catra raised her eyebrows questioningly, but didn’t ask her to elaborate. “Right. You got any drinks around here, then?”

“I can get you a soda,” Adora said, even though she knew Catra meant a different type of drink, “I’ll just—be right back.”

She slipped out of her bedroom door and closed it behind her, not surprised that her mom was waiting out in the hallway but jumping anyway. She saw the look on her mom’s face and quickly turned and walked briskly towards the kitchen.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that,” Adora said, once they were a safe distance away from her bedroom door. She opened the fridge and grabbed two cans of coke. “I’m being careful.”

“I know that,” Marlena said, but she didn’t look like she believed it, “it’s just… sometimes that’s not always how it works. You can try as much as possible, and still end up developing certain feelings for someone, and—”

“Oh my god, mom,” Adora slammed the fridge door closed and leaned back against it with a sigh, “I told you, it’s not like that. She’s just… a friend. And I don’t see her in that type of way.”

It was a complete lie, obviously. Adora was far too attracted to Catra for her own good, but she could keep it contained. It was a lot easier when Catra wasn’t being so honest, though.

“Okay, I believe you,” Marlena sighed, “I just worry about you. She’s a very pretty girl, and I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t,” Adora said firmly, and it sounded so convincing that she almost convinced herself, “and I’m not going to let anything slip about home and what happened. She doesn’t seem the… prying type.”

“Alright,” Marlena flashed a small, sympathetic smile, and it reminded Adora far too much of the way she looked at her after she’d told the truth about what was happening at her old school and why. “Just be careful, okay? I love you.”

“Yeah,” Adora murmured, cringing away from the pity, “I love you too.”

She went to slip past her mom, and if anything, Marlena made her speed up when she said a quiet, “door open.” As traumatising as that was, Adora knew the rules, and she’d respect them after everything her parents had done for her.

When she got back to her bedroom, she half-expected Catra to be asleep again, like the last time they were in this situation. Only this time, it wouldn’t absolutely terrify her – just annoy her that she’d have to sleep on the couch. But Catra wasn’t even on the bed, she was flicking through her small collection of vinyl records on the shelf.

Adora thought she hadn’t heard her come in, because she didn’t turn around, but as she placed the cans of soda on her bedside table, Catra turned to her with a smirk and said, “your music taste sucks.”

“Wow,” Adora muttered sarcastically, “thanks for the review.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “I’m only teasing you. Well… mostly. I mean, Madonna? Really?”

“She’s like, one of the most popular artists right now,” Adora defended, “let me see your record collection and we can talk about what’s good.”

Catra’s smirk faded a little, and she turned back to keep looking at the records all too nonchalantly. “I don’t think that’ll be possible,” she muttered quickly, and then covered it up with a loud, “Wham? What the fuck.”

Adora wondered why Catra’s record collection was so secret and off limits but didn’t bother prying. She knew it probably wouldn’t get her anywhere. “What’s wrong with Wham?”

Catra huffed quietly. “What isn’t wrong with Wham?”

“Alright then,” Adora challenged, “what’s your favourite artist, then?”

Catra hesitated, and Adora wondered why she was so cagey about it. But then she shrugged and asked, “why do you need to know?”

“If you’re insulting my music taste,” Adora said, “I think I get to insult yours back.”

Catra turned around and looked at her. There was an amused spark in her eyes, and Adora ignored how beautiful it made her look in favour of examining the thread count on her duvet.

“You know, not many people have the balls to talk to me like that,” Catra laughed quietly, “aren’t you scared I’m going to dig up your big secret and run you out of town?”

Admittedly, she was, a little. Maybe it was because she was too trusting before, that no matter what Catra said, she wouldn’t be able to fully believe her. Having her trust broken by her ex best friend had seriously messed her up.

“No,” she said anyway, “stop stalling and tell me what music you listen to. Aren’t we trying to be honest with each other?”

Catra hummed, pushing the record she’d been looking at back onto the shelf. She crossed the room and sat next to Adora on the edge of her bed, a little too close for comfort. Adora shifted away slightly, hoping she wasn’t too obvious about it.

“My favourite band is Metallica,” Catra said, surprising her completely, “I don’t really listen to solo artists.”

“Heavy metal, huh?” Adora commented, and when Catra nodded, she asked, “and how many people know you listen to that stuff?”

“Three,” Catra said, another surprise. Adora expected just one. “You, and my bosses.”

“Your bosses?” Adora asked, “you have a job?”

“How else am I supposed to get out of here when I graduate?” Catra rolled her eyes, “you kind of need money for moving out and going to college, and I’m certainly not getting any from my—whatever. Obviously I have a job.”

Adora noticed the way she cut herself off, but she didn’t pry. That was the deal. “Where do you work?”

Catra kept it vague. “At a diner three towns over. I work Sundays and a couple of days after school.”

“Three towns over?” Adora raised her eyebrows. “That’s kind of overkill, don’t you think? How do you even get there?”

“There’s this crazy invention called a bus. You might’ve heard of them,” Catra said defensively, and it felt like the shutters were coming back down, the honesty hiding behind the façade of the head cheerleader.

“Okay,” Adora said slowly, figuring out how to word her next question without making Catra retreat further behind her walls. She’d meant it earlier when she’d said she liked her a whole lot more when she was being real. “Why work three towns over? I’m sure there are plenty of places here that are hiring.”

“Why do you think?” Catra snapped, and when she looked up and her gaze met Adora’s, she softened a little. Sighing, she said quietly, “nobody knows me there. There aren’t any expectations of what I should be saying, or doing, or wearing. Even thinking or feeling. I can just… be myself. It’s a nice break from the hellscape I’ve built here.”

Adora took that in, and eventually said, “I get that. Maybe some time I can come and check this diner out?”

She said it tentatively, almost expecting Catra to say no. Or to freak out and leave. After all, she was asking for more than just a milkshake and a sandwich. She was asking Catra if she could go and see her, façade completely dropped, her personality and her interests laid bare.

Catra surprised her completely.

“Yeah,” she said, after long, hesitant pause, “I’d be okay with that.”

Adora smiled, and felt a little of her broken trust piecing itself back together.

Chapter Text

“You’re jumpy today, kid.”

“Huh?” Catra spun around and nearly dropped the tray she was carrying back to the counter. She steadied herself, righting one of the empty glasses that had tipped over on it, grateful it hadn’t smashed. “What? No, I’m not.”

“Sure,” Netossa laughed, “let’s pretend like you haven’t gotten progressively twitchier all day, looking up at the door every time it opens. So, tell me,” she leaned across the counter with a smirk, “who exactly are you expecting?”

Catra scoffed, skirting past her towards the kitchen like she wasn’t escaping questioning, just going to wash the cups. “Who says I’m expecting anybody?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure you haven’t taken a sudden interest in our geriatric customer base,” Netossa said, “so who are you hoping to see when the door opens? Does someone have a little crush?”

“Fuck off,” Catra muttered too defensively, and Netossa smirked. She decided to tell some of the truth, if only to get the woman off her back. “Not a crush. I just… invited a friend to come for a milkshake, and I guess I thought she was going to come, but it’s nearly closing and—and it doesn’t even matter, anyway.”

She ignored the churning in her stomach, telling her that it completely mattered. Netossa’s shit-eating grin was even harder to ignore.

“Oh, it’s totally a crush,” Netossa teased, and Catra regretted ever having that little mental breakdown in the break room six months ago.

“Shut up,” Catra snapped, even more defensively than before. She saw the sceptical look on Netossa’s face and tried to ignore it, but part of her remembered how much better she felt when she’d finally gotten everything out.

It was that part that made her sigh and admit, “fine, maybe it is. But she’s not even—she’s not like us, so it’s not going to happen. And she didn’t even come today, so she probably doesn’t even want to be my friend. Not that I blame her.”

“Okay, we’re not going to do that,” Netossa said firmly, and Catra, who never knew how to react when people told her she wasn’t completely worthless, felt a little nauseous, “you’re a great kid, and I’m sure that this girl would love to be friends with you, even if she’s not of our… persuasion.”

It didn’t make her feel better at all. She slammed her fist down on the kitchen counter so hard it hurt and snapped, “then why didn’t she come? You don’t get how much of a big deal it was for me to invite her, and she didn’t come.”

“I’m sure she’s on her way,” Netossa said gently, “there’s still an hour left until close. Tell you what, why don’t you go take five in the break room and calm yourself down, okay?”

“Fine,” Catra muttered, letting go of the counter. She hadn’t realised how tightly she’d been gripping it. “I suppose I might as well be comfortable while I torture myself with all the reasons I’m not good enough for her.”

“Hey, no, what did I tell you? No self-deprecation or I’m firing you,” Netossa said as Catra turned and trudged towards the break room, “and kid? If she doesn’t come, she’s the one who isn’t good enough for you.”

“Sure,” Catra said disbelievingly, letting the break room door slam behind her. She flopped down on the small, tired old couch and wondered what the fuck was wrong with her. “Never should’ve told her anything,” she muttered irritably, “should’ve just been smart and kept the fuck away.”

There was a soft knock on the break room door, and it pushed open slightly to reveal Spinnerella, smiling at her gently. She knew that Netossa had probably sent her. Either that or she’d overheard everything.

“Are you okay, Catra?” Spinnerella asked, “do you want me to get you a snack? There’s some cookies left over that I don’t think will sell by closing…”

“I’m fine,” Catra said, but her voice cracked slightly, and it was obvious to anyone that she wasn’t, “thanks anyway. Just want to be alone.”

Spinnerella smiled softly. “Alright. Shout if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” Catra said quietly, and as Spinnerella went to back out of the room and close the door, she stopped her. “Wait. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Spinnerella smiled, “anything.”

“How did you do it?” Catra asked, because she’d wondered it for a while now. “You and Netossa, I mean. How did you find each other? Because sometimes I feel like I’m going to be alone forever.”

“Neither of us were really looking. It just… happened,” Spinnerella said, “and it’ll happen for you too. I know how isolating it is, being different from your peers, seeing them all get in relationships and wondering if it’ll ever happen. But it will. You’ll find a girl one day, and she’ll take you completely by surprise.”

She supposed it could be reassuring to think one day it’d just happen. But she wanted it to happen now, with a girl she’d already met, one who already surprised her in the best and worst ways.

One who was currently standing her up.

“Alright,” Catra answered, barely above a whisper, “thanks.”

“It’ll be alright,” Spinnerella smiled, “do you want to go home? Take the rest of the day off?”

“No, it’s fine,” Catra shook her head, “I just need a minute. I’ll be out soon to help start closing.”

Spinnerella looked concerned, but she smiled anyway. “Okay.”

She left Catra alone, and she found it much easier to clear her mind when everything was quiet. She could hear the familiar sounds of the diner muffled through the break room door and tried to remember that this was supposed to be a safe space. Not one she was going to fuck up, either.

She took a breath, shook her head, and put on the act. Everything was fine. Everything was always fine.

Netossa and Spinnerella shot her some concerned glances as she isolated herself in the kitchen to clean up, but she ignored them. Because it was fine. She didn’t need Adora to come. She didn’t care that Adora hadn’t come. She could go to school on Monday and not even look in her direction. It didn’t matter anymore. As of Monday morning, Adora wouldn’t exist to her at all—

“Um, hi…”

Catra’s ranting thoughts screeched to a halt when she heard her voice, and at first, she thought it was a mirage. She glanced towards the order window and hoped she wasn’t going crazy.

Adora stood behind the counter, looking nervous as she approached Netossa. “Hi,” she said again, a little louder, “I hope I have the right place, but a friend of mine works here and I’m here to meet her.”

Catra could almost hear Netossa’s smirk. “You have the right place,” Netossa said, and then tilted her head back to shout into the kitchen, “Catra! Your friend’s here.”

That sick churning in her stomach was quickly replaced by a flutter of butterflies. She swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat and dropped the mug that she’d been aggressively scrubbing into the hot, soapy water in the sink. “One second,” she called out, and she hoped it sounded as casual as she wanted it to.

She slipped into the break room to check herself over in the mirror. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, the way she always wore it, so there wasn’t much difference there. Everything else, on the other hand, was a complete contrast to anything Adora would be expecting.

Adora had never seen her in anything other than her cheer uniform or whatever skirt and top combo was socially acceptable at school. Today, she was wearing tight, ripped black jeans, her favourite Iron Maiden t-shirt, and besides a little dark eyeliner, she’d completely forgone makeup. Her nametag was pinned to her shirt, and she unpinned it and put it on the side – they were basically closed already, and Adora would probably be the last customer of the day.

She found herself wishing she’d bothered with a little more makeup, but at this point in the day, she’d probably look terrible anyway. Actually, it was a miracle she looked somewhat presentable.

Sighing, she smoothed out her t-shirt and composed herself before heading out to the front counter to greet Adora. “Hey,” she said casually, incredibly conscious of the way Adora was looking at her, “didn’t think you were serious about coming.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, and she sounded genuine when she added, “you look good.”

Catra ignored Netossa’s smirk as she passed and pushed away the butterflies in her stomach. Instead, she smiled smugly and answered, “I know. Do you want anything to drink?”

“Are you sure?” Adora asked, “it looked kind of like you guys were closing up.”

“We are,” Catra shrugged, “but it wouldn’t kill me to make you a milkshake.”

“Okay,” Adora nodded, “sure. And, uh, sorry if this is really unexpected. I know you were drunk when you said I could come—”

“I was, but I wouldn’t have given you the address if I didn’t mean it,” Catra said, “sit down over there, it’s the comfiest place,” she nodded to the booth by the radiator, “I’ll make you a drink.”

Adora looked like she was going to say something else but decided against it. Instead, she just smiled, nodded, and went to sit down. Catra got herself busy making Adora a milkshake and herself a hot chocolate, and pretended like she didn’t hear when Netossa muttered, “she’s cute.”

Once the drinks were ready, Catra took them over to the table, and after a moment’s thought, sank down in the booth next to Adora, rather than across from her.

Adora reached for the milkshake like she was desperate for something to occupy her hands. “I’m sorry I’m kind of late. I figured I should come around closing time, save you from getting the bus home.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Catra said, because the last thing she needed was anyone knowing where she lived. If anybody ever showed up out of the blue for her, her mother would have some choice words about it at a minimum. “I’m fine with the bus.”

“Too bad,” Adora shrugged, “it’s the least I can do for the free drink.”

Catra snorted. “Who says it’s free?”

“Wow,” Adora answered sarcastically, punctuating it with a sip of her milkshake, “I thought you said you weren’t a bitch when you were at work.”

“I believe I said I can be myself at work,” Catra said, casually leaning back against the booth’s backrest, “and myself is very much a bitch.”

“Uh, what’s the rule here?” Netossa called out, making it blatantly obvious that she was listening in as she wiped down a nearby table, “don’t make me fire you.”

Catra rolled her eyes in response, but Adora actually looked a little worried. Catra found it incomprehensibly cute that she was concerned.

Adora glanced at Netossa and then asked, “what’s the rule?”

“Oh, I’m not allowed to make any negative comments about myself,” Catra shrugged, “she gets mad at me because she’s deluded enough to think I’m a person with value.”

She said it as a joke – kind of – but Adora didn’t take it that way. Instead, she just frowned and answered, “but… you are.”

“Flattery gets you nowhere,” Catra said dryly, and quickly changed the subject, “anyway, I’m pissed at you, so you’re paying for that milkshake.”

Adora frowned. “Pissed at me? What did I do?”

“You didn’t let me stay over Friday night,” Catra said, “you let a drunk, defenceless girl walk home alone. I could’ve been murdered. And then because I wasn’t already occupied on Saturday, Sparkles made me hang out with the rest of those morons from school, and I wished I’d ended up murdered.”

“Hey, I offered to take you home and you wouldn’t let me!” Adora argued, and it was kind of hilarious but also cute, the way she got so defensive, “and anyway, I didn’t know you wanted to stay.”

Any alternative is better than going home, Catra thought, but she didn’t voice it. “Yeah, well, I’m blaming you for all of the nonsense I had to put up with on Saturday,” she rolled her eyes at the memory and mimicked a few of the girls on the squad, “like, oh my god, don’t you think xyz on the football team is so cute? You should totally let him take you out on a date, Catra!”

“Yeah, well,” Adora rolled her eyes, “a lot of girls are impressed by… bravado, or whatever. And he’s on the football team. Football players and cheerleaders kind of go together. It’s like, a whole cliché.”

Netossa answered before Catra could. “Wait, hold up.”

“Would you stop being nosy?” Catra rolled her eyes and leaned over the back of the couch, “it’s annoying.”

“I’m letting you slack off on your last hour and not docking your pay for it, so I can do what I want,” Netossa said, “which means you have to answer my question. Did that girl just say you’re a cheerleader? You?”

“Oh,” Adora blinked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. You probably hadn’t mentioned that, huh?”

“No,” Catra gritted her teeth and tried not to be reminded of the hellscape that awaited her when she walked out of those doors in an hour, “I hadn’t. But yes, unfortunately. I need a scholarship to get the fuck out. It’s an extra chance at one.”

Netossa laughed. “I’m sorry, that’s hilarious. You, a cheerleader. You’re the grumpiest kid I’ve ever met. I thought you’d be some weird punk kid with your dark eyeliner and band t-shirts.”

Even Adora chuckled lightly, but Catra shot her a death glare and she shut up. But it didn’t stop her from adding, “she’s not just a cheerleader. She’s head cheerleader.”

Netossa burst out laughing. “No fucking way. Oh my god, I have to tell Spinny.”

Catra watched as she rushed to the kitchen to go tell her girlfriend the apparently hilarious news, and when she looked at Adora, the other girl was looking at her with something of a smirk on her face.

Catra looked back at her with a deadpan expression and muttered, “thanks for that.”

“Come on, it’s just a little teasing,” Adora shrugged, “you do it to me.”

“Yeah, well, I’m allowed,” Catra answered, completely aware of how pathetic that sounded, “so… don’t do it again.”

“Or what?” Adora asked, and Catra found that she didn’t have an answer. Really, she just wanted to kiss that stupid smirk right off her face. But then Adora’s smirk turned into a smile and she asked, “so… weird punk kid, huh?”

“I guess that’s one way to put it,” Catra shrugged, “but yeah, pretty much.”

Adora hummed in thought, looking her over. Catra felt strangely naked under her gaze. She tried to pretend like she didn’t care about Adora’s opinion, but she knew she did. She cared too much about what people thought, that was why she hid behind the façade she put on at school.

“I like it,” Adora said finally, and Catra felt herself relax a little, “it suits you.”

She felt the blush rising to her cheeks and was quick to turn her head away, pretending like she was just reaching for her hot chocolate. “Thanks.”

Adora looked like she was going to say something, and Catra wasn’t sure if she was glad when Netossa interrupted again. She poked her head out of the kitchen door and said, “Spinny and I agree – thanks for the laugh, we’ll let you go home early.”

“Thanks for finding my misery so entertaining,” Catra responded sarcastically, and then looked to Adora and said, “I guess I’ll head out when you do.”

“Well, obviously,” Adora shrugged, “I already told you I’m giving you a ride home.”

“I’m good,” Catra said, because she really didn’t want Adora knowing where she lived. Even Glimmer had no clue, and they’d been best friends since kindergarten. She didn’t need anybody she knew meeting her mother. “I like the bus. I can listen to my Walkman and pretend I’m on another planet.”

“Come on,” Adora said – almost pleaded. “I wouldn’t feel right if I let you get the bus when I know we’re going to the same area. After all, I didn’t walk you home on Friday night and apparently all sorts of horrors could’ve happened.”

Catra should’ve known that would come back to bite her. “Fine. You can drop me at your place and I’ll walk from there.”

Adora frowned, and it looked like she was going to ask. Why wouldn’t she? There had been far too many instances of her offering to take Catra home, and Catra outwardly refusing. Only an idiot wouldn’t notice how cagey she was being.

Instead of asking directly, Adora just said quietly, “is everything okay?”

“Next question,” Catra answered quickly. Even if she could maybe trust Adora, that was a step too far. One of the things nobody could ever know. She’d probably admit to being into girls before she admitted that her own mother hated her.

Adora still looked concerned, but she didn’t push or ask a million questions like Glimmer would. Like Glimmer had, in the past – she’d given up once Catra had snapped at her and threatened to dig up all her shit if she kept asking.

“Okay,” Adora said, and paused to drink the last few sips of her milkshake, “what’s your favourite colour?”

Catra blinked. “What the fuck?”

“You said next question,” Adora shrugged, “that’s my next question. I feel like that’s the first thing you ask someone, so I should get around to it at some point.”

She considered joking – black, like my soul – or something equally ridiculous. But she found herself zoning out, looking into Adora’s pretty blue eyes, and her mouth worked before her brain did.

“Blue,” Catra said quietly, and then realised that she was quite literally gazing into Adora’s eyes and looked away quickly. She coughed and asked as casually as she could, “you?”

“Yellow,” Adora answered thoughtfully, “I like that it’s such a happy colour, you know? My bedroom at my old house was completely yellow.”

As much as it meant that Adora had opened up about something small from her hometown, Catra couldn’t help herself. “No offence, but that sounds ugly as fuck.”

“Yeah, well, I picked it when I was seven after a really bad day, so…” Adora defended herself, but then her expression fell, and she laughed humourlessly. “Funny that I thought whatever happened then was a bad day, compared to what was waiting for me. And the yellow never helped then.”

“Hey, whatever happened,” Catra said, and wished she hadn’t when she saw Adora retreat into herself, “none of it matters. People are fucking stupid, and I’m a massive hypocrite for saying it, but you shouldn’t care what they think. Especially not now that you’re far away from them and whatever they think about you. Stop letting it affect you.”

“Kind of hard to do that,” Adora said, and she muttered something that Catra didn’t catch. Sounded like the words “follow” and “forever.”

“I know it’s easier said than done,” Catra shrugged, “but the biggest fuck you is to be happy regardless of whatever they think. Take it from someone who will literally never be brave enough to do that – people who don’t care are a lot happier.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t care,” Adora answered, “or at least… try not to?”

What do you think I’m doing right now, with you? Catra thought to herself. But she didn’t voice it. “I’m too far gone, and not at all willing to give up the control I have. But you? You’re in a new place. Nobody knows you, besides your family, and if whatever happened wasn’t enough to push them away, then I’m pretty sure you have nothing to lose.”

“I don’t know,” Adora said, barely above a whisper, “I think I’ve got something to lose now.”

She looked at Catra meaningfully, and Catra felt something stick in her throat. She knew Adora wouldn’t think that if she ever found out anything below the surface level, below the stupid petty things she couldn’t bring herself to share with Glimmer or Scorpia.

She needed to stop being so reckless, so open with this girl, especially with the way Adora seemed to make her brain malfunction in ways she understood too well. She’d made herself miserable for far too long to make it all worthless now.

She decided that the best plan of action was to ignore what Adora had said all together. She threw back the rest of her hot chocolate and stood up. “Let’s go. It’s not often I get an early finish.”

Adora hesitated, looking up at her with a gaze that was far too analytical. But it went away as quickly as it had arrived, and Catra wondered if she imagined it in the first place.

Adora pulled into her driveway and killed her car’s engine. She glanced over at the girl in the passenger seat, the girl who’d made her pull over at a McDonald’s two towns back just so she could change her clothes, and still felt weird about not just taking her home. There was obviously something going on, something that Catra definitely wouldn’t tell her.

Clearly, it was bad enough that Catra always kept out of the house, and Adora didn’t have the heart to let her go home yet. Or at least, that’s how she reasoned it.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Adora asked without thinking, and Catra looked at her in surprise. “I mean,” Adora added quickly, “if you don’t have any plans.”

“Yeah,” Catra answered, “okay.”

Adora flashed her a nervous smile and got out of the car, and almost thought about going around and opening the passenger door for Catra. Realising how stupid that was, and how completely deluded she was being, she just waited for Catra to get out and then turned and walked towards the front door. She didn’t even offer to carry the backpack Catra had with her, because that felt like too much.

God, she needed to relax.

“I’m home!” Adora called out as she slipped her shoes off, and as Catra was doing the same, she added, “my friend’s staying for dinner.”

“Friend?” she heard her brother’s voice and felt Catra tense from where she was standing beside her. “You don’t have any—” Adam cut himself off, and the amused expression on his face melted away when he saw Catra, “friends.”

Before Adora could say anything, whatever semblance of Catra was gone, and the bitchy head cheerleader snapped, “what, are you still so heartbroken that you got rejected? It’s cute that it meant so much to you, especially when I don’t even remember you exist most of the time.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Adora, why the fuck are you friends with her? You couldn’t stand girls like her back home.”

Adora shot him a stern look, and when she looked at Catra, she saw how tense she was. “You don’t need to act like that here.”

“And he doesn’t need to be so offended that I find him completely fucking repulsive,” Catra said bitterly.

Adam scoffed. “Like I care what you think.”

“Seemed like you did when you wanted a whole audience on the off chance I said yes,” Catra laughed humourlessly, “it’s not my fault it bit you in the fucking ass.”

Against her better judgement, Adora reached out and put a hand on Catra’s shoulder. She was so tense, and barely relaxed at the gesture. “Relax,” Adora said for good measure, and when Catra met her gaze, she seemed like she did, at least slightly, “look, can you please just go easy on him?”

Catra scoffed. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

It felt like she was talking to a completely different person. The girl from the diner, the one Adora thought she could actually like, had vanished.

“Uh,” Adora rolled her eyes like it was obvious, “because he’s my brother and I love him?”

For some reason, the plea didn’t work. “Sorry, but I don’t intend to grovel to entitled assholes just because you happen to be related.”

“Okay, look,” Adora paused and tried to think of the best way to word her opinion on the matter, “I know he only asked you out for social points with the idiots on the football team, and that was wrong of him. But it was also wrong of you to embarrass him in front of everyone. Can you both just forget it, apologise to each other, and act civilly for me? I told you, Catra; you don’t have to act like that around here. Around me.”

“I’m not apologising to some misogynistic freak who looked at me like I’m a trophy and got offended when I didn’t want to be one,” Catra rolled her eyes, “you know what? This was dumb, I’m going.”

Adam scoffed, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

As Catra stormed out of the front door, Adora didn’t hesitate to follow after her. She gave her brother a stern look on passing and muttered, “why would you do that?” before pulling open the front door and practically chasing Catra down the street. She was even faster than she looked.

“Catra!” Adora called after her, quickly catching up. “Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?” Catra snapped. She didn’t slow down. “I’m going home. I don’t want to be around that absolute fucking imbecile.”

“Just wait a second,” Adora said, and she didn’t think it would work. But Catra stopped, and didn’t turn around. “Look, I know he asked you out for the worst reasons, and I’m not defending that at all. But he’s not a bad guy, and he’s only being an asshole because you are too. I meant it when I said you don’t need to hide behind whatever defence mechanism you’ve got going on right now. Adam isn’t going to go around school tomorrow and tell everyone you’re secretly nice.”

She expected Catra to tell her to fuck off and start storming her way back down the street. She only half expected Catra to let out a quiet breath that sounded almost like a laugh, and she definitely didn’t expect her to turn around. “I keep telling you, I’m not. I don’t say things I don’t mean, and I meant everything I said to him.”

“I’m not saying you’re in the wrong for being annoyed at his reasoning for asking you out,” Adora said, “because I agree that he only wanted you because it would make him look good, and you’re perfectly entitled to feel angry about that. I’m just saying that… that you shouldn’t have provoked him just now. If you hadn’t said what you said, he wouldn’t have said anything at all.”

“So you’re telling me it’s my fault,” Catra said, but she didn’t sound angry. Weirdly, there was a little half-smile on her face. “You’re not doing great at convincing me to come back in.”

“I feel like everybody else just tells you what you want to hear because they’re scared of you,” Adora said, and even though she agreed that Catra was terrifying, but for entirely different reasons, she shrugged and lied, “but I’m not scared of you. And I’m not going to bullshit you. You were being an asshole, and you can knock it the hell off if you want to be my friend.”

As it all came out, Catra looked more and more stunned. It was like nobody had ever dared speak to her like that before, and honestly, Adora doubted anybody had. It meant that she regretted it as soon as she said it, berated that part of her that was so used to standing up to the bitchy cheerleaders at her old school when they were picking on someone.

That part had been gone since those cheerleaders started picking on her.

She expected the same retaliation from Catra, or worse. And then she felt guilty for even thinking it when Catra entirely defied her expectations; she smiled, then laughed and rolled her eyes in a way that was only fond and nothing more.

“Damn,” Catra said, mostly to herself, and then louder, “knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Adora felt a little flutter in her stomach but pushed it away. “Does that mean you’ll come back in and stop acting like a child?”

“I guess,” Catra said, with a dramatic sigh, “I’m not apologising to the meathead, though.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Adora said, “just asking you to not continue being mean.”

“Fine,” Catra rolled her eyes, and she turned and walked back towards the house. “God, it’s going to be real boring being friends with you, isn’t it?”

“I told you,” Adora shrugged, turning and joining her, “I like you a lot more when you’re being real. I don’t think being a mega-bitch is really part of it.”

Catra snorted. “Being nice also isn’t.”

Adora just smiled. “Jury’s still out on that one.”

Chapter Text

“Uh, hey.”

Catra closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she closed her locker and turned to look at him. Why the hell Adora’s brother was speaking to her, she didn’t know, and she also didn’t particularly care. He’d ignored her all evening last Sunday, after she’d pathetically caved to Adora and decided to join them for dinner, and she’d much preferred that.

He was standing there expectantly, but there was a nervousness shining in his eyes. She knew that look all too well – it was the way everyone looked at her when they wanted something.

She rolled her eyes and waited for the inevitable favour to pass his lips. When it didn’t, she snapped impatiently, “what the fuck do you want?”

“My parents – mine and Adora’s parents, I mean,” Adam started, “are going away this weekend for some romantic getaway. They put her in charge, and said no parties, but I’m throwing one anyway…”

“Don’t need your life story,” Catra said when he hesitated, “get to the point.”

“The guys said nobody would come if…” he trailed off, and then huffed and rolled his eyes, “if I don’t get the cheerleaders to come. And apparently the rest of them won’t go unless you’re going.”

“That’s generally how things work,” Catra shrugged, “and it’s also not my problem.”

She turned to leave, but he chased after her, and it reminded her too much of the way Adora always made her cave. She was going to have to get a lid on that before people started saying she was going soft.

“Wait,” he said, stopping right in front of her so close that she almost crashed into him, “look, I’m sorry I called you a bitch, okay? And I’m sorry I just asked you out to prove something. Would you please just talk to the other cheerleaders and get them to come?”

“I really don’t need an apology from you. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last,” Catra said bitterly, “anyway, don’t you know that apologies don’t mean anything if you’re only doing it to get something from someone?”

“I’m not doing it because of that, I’m doing it because you’re basically Adora’s only friend and I don’t want to fuck it up for her,” Adam said, “and anyway, this would be good for her. A party she can’t sneak out of. Do it for Adora, not me.”

Catra laughed sarcastically. “I’m sure a party she can’t escape from is literally the last thing Adora would want.”

“It’s not about what she wants, it’s about what she needs,” Adam insisted, “come on, even you have to admit she’s kind of a hermit right now. But she never used to be like that! She was always out with the soccer girls back home. Ever since all the bad shit went down, it’s like she’s isolating herself, and it sucks. So come on. Please?”

Catra almost considered it, but she also didn’t want to be in trouble if Adora found out she had any hand in it. “Tell you what,” she started, “if she says she’s alright with your little party scheme, then I’ll do it. If not, then sucks for you.”

Adam looked like he was going to protest, but seemed to realise she wouldn’t cave so easily – or at all – for him and nodded in acceptance. “Fine. That seems fair.”

“Yo, you trying again?” One of the meatheads from the football team, whose name she didn’t care about enough to remember, slung an arm around Adam’s shoulder with an idiotic smile on his face. “One humiliation not enough? Let it go, bro.”

“No,” Adam said embarrassedly, and it gave her a little too much joy to watch that. Maybe she’d have to ask Adora if she was super serious about not messing with her brother. “Just asking if she wanted to come to that party I’m thinking of throwing.”

“Oh, yeah?” The guy asked, “what are you thinking, Catra?’

“That you’re an idiot,” Catra said before she could help it, “don’t know about the party. We’ll have to see how I feel. The girls wouldn’t want to go without me.”

She flashed a sickeningly sweet fake smile at them both and turned on her heel. She was sure Adora wouldn’t want the idiotic student body crowding up her house all night, and it’d save her from doing anything nice for her stupid brother.

Adora had never been much of an artist, but she was attempting a doodle of a cat that looked much more like a mangled blob in the back of her notebook when a shadow fell over her. She glanced up, noted those toned, tanned legs, the skirt that was almost too short, and immediately tore her gaze away.

Catra wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at the boy who usually sat at the desk neighbouring Adora’s. He was almost like a scrawnier, much shier version of Adam; Adora thought his name was Kyle but wasn’t sure.

Catra was looking down at Kyle with a stony expression on her face, and Kyle looked up meekly.

“Move it,” Catra ordered, and that was all she needed to say for Kyle to grab his books, his backpack, and flee to the back of the classroom. Then she sat down in his place and dropped her bag on the floor beneath the desk. “Hey.”

Adora raised an eyebrow. “Did you need to be so harsh?”

“All I said was hey,” Catra replied, even though they both knew that wasn’t what Adora was referring to, “anyway, I heard something about you.”

Adora’s heart felt like it instantly dropped through her and out of her body entirely. “What?” she asked, probably a little sharply.

Catra looked slightly alarmed at the anxious look on her face. “Relax, nothing bad.”

“Oh,” Adora tried to relax but found she couldn’t, “what did you hear?”

“That you and your brother are throwing a party,” Catra said, and that made Adora relax enough to roll her eyes and scoff irritably. Catra just laughed. “What? Weren’t planning on inviting me? Thought I was like, your only friend.”

“My brother’s party has nothing to do with me,” Adora muttered, “for the record, I was completely against it. And so are my parents, but,” she did air-quotes as she relayed what her brother said, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Catra hummed. “So… you’re just going to stay out of the house all night?”

“Nope, I’m going to lock myself in my bedroom and pretend like I don’t exist,” Adora shrugged, “if I don’t attend in the only way I can think of, I won’t get roped into cleaning up the next day. Or inevitably grounded.”

“Hm,” Catra considered, “I doubt it’ll be that big of a party.”

Adora laughed sarcastically, “he’s invited basically the entire student body.”

“And if I don’t go, they won’t,” Catra said, “just saying.”

Adora heavily considered it, but eventually shook her head and sighed, “no. I couldn’t do that to him. He’s really excited about it. I appreciate the offer, though.”

Catra rolled her eyes and looked a little annoyed at the prospect. Adora wondered if Adam had spoken to her at all – he knew everyone better than she did, and he’d probably already heard the ‘if Catra doesn’t go, your party will suck’ rule. Which basically meant she was asking Adora if she would let her brother throw a party.

“You’re too nice,” Catra said finally, like it was a bad thing, “but I guess I’ll see you there.”

Adora felt a warmth in her chest and a soft smile found its way onto her face. “You really do like me, huh?”

“Fuck off,” Catra rolled her eyes, “for that, I’m stealing your bed again. Have fun bunking on the couch with drunk idiots from the football team.”

“I literally couldn’t think of anything worse,” Adora said, and then realised maybe that was saying too much. After all, wouldn’t it be most girls’ dream? “But if you do want to stay over… I mean, that’s fine with me.”

Catra smiled to herself, and as their teacher entered the classroom, she murmured a soft, “cool,” in response.

As class started, Adora felt like someone was watching her. Once the work was set, she glanced around, and a couple rows back, she saw a girl watching her. The same girl who’d given her a lovely description – or warning – of Catra on her first day.

The girl was looking at her as if to say what the fuck are you doing, and after a few moments of awkward eye contact, Adora looked away. Sometimes she wondered that herself, but she still thought she was making an okay decision.

She felt the girl’s eyes on her all through class, and when the bell rang for next period, she had a feeling she was going to pounce. Catra didn’t help with that – she grabbed her bag and said, “gotta get to calc, I’ll see you later,” and sped off.

Adora took her time packing her bag away, watching out of the corner of her eye as the girl left the room. She was relieved – she had a feeling she wouldn’t like whatever it was that the girl was thinking.

She’d relaxed as she stepped out into the hallway, but it didn’t really matter.

“Thought I warned you to stay away from her.”

Adora stopped and turned around. “Excuse me?”

“Satan,” the girl said, “the devil incarnate. Thought I warned you.”

“Oh, um,” Adora shrugged lightly, “she’s not that bad. She’s actually kind of nice.”

The girl snorted like that was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “I think I’d know she’s not. I’ve been friends with her, and all it did was bite me in the ass. You think she’s nice now, but let’s be real; she’s just playing with her food.”

Adora tried not to let the words get to her. She’d seen a different side of Catra, the one she thought was real, and wanted to trust her. “I don’t know. She’s… kind of the only friend I have around here.”

“Just mention my name to her. Lonnie. See what she says. Ask her why nobody talks to me.” the girl laughed sarcastically, “if you were smart, you’d stay away from her. Just speaking from experience.”

The girl – Lonnie – walked away before Adora could say anything. She didn’t really know what she would’ve said, anyway. Defend Catra? Ask Lonnie for her side of the story?

Either way, the whole thing gave her something to think about.

The music was pounding, and made Adora’s whole bedroom feel like it was vibrating.

Adam was happy, but not with her; as soon as his first guests arrived, she’d locked herself in her bedroom. But she figured he was probably drunk by now, and had forgotten she existed.

Her bedroom doorknob turned, and she waited for the drunk partygoers to realise it was locked and find somewhere else to canoodle. But then there was a bang on the door, loud enough to cut through the thumping music.

Adora sighed and pushed herself up from her bed, shouting through the door, “this room is off limits, go away.”

“It’s me, you idiot,” Catra’s voice shouted back, and she banged on the door again for emphasis. “Let me in, the morons are trying to get me to play spin the bottle.”

Adora hesitated, thinking back to what Lonnie had told her earlier in the week. She felt guilty for even thinking about it, but she’d barely seen Catra since, and hadn’t had a chance to ask her about what happened.

Maybe she could ask her now.

She unlocked the door, and as she was pulling it open, Catra shoved in and slammed it shut behind her. Adora felt a knot in her throat as Catra leaned back against the door with a sigh and she realised just how close they were.

She twisted the lock on the doorhandle and stepped back, clearing her throat and asking far too casually, “why don’t you want to play spin the bottle?”

Catra watched her with a raised eyebrow as she walked back over to her bed and settled back down. “Why do you think? There’s nobody out there that I’d ever want to kiss.”

Adora paused in thought, and asked the question before she could help it. “Have you ever actually had a crush on anyone?”

She hoped she didn’t sound too interested. Catra was more likely to spontaneously combust than casually confess her undying love for Adora.

Not that Adora wanted her to.

She was just pretty. That’s all.

Catra let a breath out through her nose, one that almost sounded like a laugh. “Obviously.”

Adora waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t. “Not going to give me the juicy details?”

“No,” Catra actually did laugh, finally pushing herself away from the closed bedroom door, “of course not.”

“Well,” Adora said, ignoring her increasingly fast heartbeat as Catra got herself comfy on the bed next to her, “I’m sure whoever he is would be honoured to know that the entirely unattainable head cheerleader likes him. Why not go for it? It’s not like anyone would ever turn you down.”

Instead of taking the compliment, Catra just laughed bitterly. “You literally just explained exactly why not.”

Adora frowned. “I did?”

“Nobody actually likes me,” Catra shrugged, “they just like the idea of me.”

“Well…” Adora didn’t really know what to say to that, but something slipped out anyway, “for the record, I like you.”

Catra hummed quietly. “Thanks, I guess. You’re not so bad yourself.”

And because she hadn’t dug herself into a big enough hole already, she added, “you, I mean. Not the person you pretend to be.”

Catra snorted. “Shockingly, I figured that out on my own.”

Adora opened her mouth to say something else – god knows what – when there was another bang on the door, and Glimmer’s shrill voice shouted through, “Catrina Driluth, get the fuck out here! I know you’re in there.”

Catra glanced towards the door, completely unbothered when Glimmer kept hammering at it and shouting. Then she looked at Adora, and clearly there was something written on her face, because Catra just laughed and said quietly, “she’ll go away soon.”

It didn’t sound like it, from the way Glimmer was hammering on the door. “I don’t know. She sounds pretty persistent.”

“Alright, then,” Catra clambered over Adora, who yelped in surprise, and shoved the window open. “Tell her I’m not here. This way you won’t be lying.”

Then she climbed out of the window and dropped into the garden. Adora looked incredulously as Catra stepped carefully over Marlena’s flowerbeds and headed like she was going to leave.

“Wait,” Adora called after her, “are you going to come back?”

“We’ll see,” Catra shrugged, and Adora watched as she made a beeline for a few of the football guys, plucking a lit cigarette from between one of their fingers and walking down the street.

Adora watched after her for a few more moments, until she disappeared into the darkness, and then turned her attention to the door. Glimmer was still pounding on it, shouting Catra’s name, and Adora decided that she’d just let her in and get whatever was coming over with.

She pulled open the door, and Glimmer pushed past her without asking and whirled around the room, pulling open her closet door, checking under the bed, leaning out of the window and taking long, sweeping glances around before demanding, “where is she?”

Adora decided to play dumb. “Who?”

Glimmer turned around with a scoff, rolling her eyes at Adora. “Catra, obviously. I know she’s here somewhere. She’s starting to get a track record of vanishing with you at parties.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m entirely un-vanished,” Adora said, “and she’s not here.”

Glimmer sighed in defeat, but instead of leaving, she sat down on Adora’s bed and said quietly, “if you see her, tell her I need her.”

Adora frowned. “Everything okay?”

“No,” Glimmer said defensively, “my best friend keeps ditching me for some random bitch, and she’s acting weird, and—you’re not like, her drug dealer or something, are you?”

“What?” Adora blinked in surprise at that ludicrous accusation, “obviously not.”

“Then what the fuck is it?” Glimmer snapped, “ever since you showed up, she’s started acting weird. And when I ask her about it, she just tells me to back off, that everything’s fine, but it’s not because she’s ignoring me.”

“I don’t know,” Adora said genuinely, “I didn’t ask her to start hanging around with me. She just did.”

“Do you not see how strange that is?” Glimmer jumped up from the bed and started pacing the room. Adora watched her as she went, growing increasingly anxious. “Like, no offence, but you’re kind of weird as fuck. And Catra doesn’t take on charity cases. Even when they ask or try buzzing around her for popularity points, she puts them right back in their place. And yet she’s being nice to you, and insists she’s not planning anything. It’s so fucking weird.”

To get Glimmer to leave, she nodded to the bedroom door and said, “Well, why don’t you talk to her about it? I’m sure that she’s drunk enough by now that she’ll probably answer your questions.”

Her attempt didn’t work. Glimmer just scoffed and announced shrilly, “I’ve tried that. God, aren’t you listening?”

“I don’t know what to say to you,” Adora said, “but she’s… allowed to have other friends.”

“I never said she wasn’t,” Glimmer snapped, “but she keeps ditching me at parties, she won’t tell me what the hell she’s doing when she always does, and… actually, let me ask you something?”

“Do I have a choice?” Adora muttered under her breath, and answered properly with, “fine.”

Glimmer levelled her with a serious look. “Have you been to her house?”

“No,” Adora answered honestly, “she won’t even let me drive her home.”

There was clearly something going on there, Adora knew. But she didn’t want to pry. One wrong question and Catra always shut down and got defensive.

“Okay,” Glimmer said, and she sounded relieved, “the world’s not gone entirely mad yet, then.”

“Why?” Adora asked quietly, “is there something going on at her house?”

“The fuck if I know,” Glimmer scoffed, “she won’t let me go there either. I don’t even know which one it is, just the street. But she’d tell me if something was up.”

Are you sure about that? Adora wanted to say, but she decided she’d better leave that subject to one side for now. There was another one that was playing on her mind. “Who’s Lonnie?”

Again, Glimmer scoffed, but in a more amused way this time. “Oh, that bitch. Why do you want to know?”

“On my first day, she told me to stay away from Catra, that she was this horrible person or whatever,” Adora started carefully, “and the other day she told me that I was being stupid hanging out with her, that she used to be friends with Catra and it… ended badly in some way?”

“Still obsessed, I see,” Glimmer snorted. She leaned against Adora’s bedroom door and said, “she used to be friends with us, back in middle school. Then we got to high school and we all started cheer. In sophomore year, the coach said it was between her and Catra for head cheerleader, and she kept keeping them back after practice, so whoever got the spot would be prepared or whatever. Anyway, turns out she liked Catra a little too much, if you know what I mean. Cornered her in the locker room after one of those late practices and tried to kiss her.”

Adora’s throat knotted. “Oh.”

“Thankfully, though, I came back to school because I forgot my gym bag and saw the whole thing. Helped Catra get the fuck out of there, and then we told everyone the truth about her,” Glimmer shrugged, like she’d done some amazing public service, “naturally, we couldn’t have someone like her as head cheerleader. Catra got top spot by default and Lonnie got kicked off the squad all together. She went around claiming we’d tricked her into it, that Catra tricked her into kissing her and set the whole thing up. But nobody believed it, because I know what I saw and Catra had to deal with the whole thing first hand. Guess she’s still bitter.”

“Oh,” Adora repeated, like it was the only thing she could say. It was like all her doubts were confirmed. “Right.”

“Anyway, who cares,” Glimmer shrugged, pulling the door open, “if you see Catra, tell her to come find me.”

“I guess,” Adora said, but Glimmer had already turned and strutted out of the door, leaving it wide open behind her. Adora took a few minutes to absorb the information she just learned, and then stood up mechanically and shut her door, locking it behind her.

She thought about it for a few moments, and then crossed back over to her bed, shutting her window and locking it. And despite the loud music booming through the house, she switched her bedroom lights off, clambered into bed, and pulled the covers over her head.

She needed to think.

Chapter Text

“I’m leaving, Glimmer’s taking over for the rest of practice,” Catra shouted, smirking a little when some of the freshman girls jumped, “got places to be. You can handle it, right, Sparkles?”

“Um, no?” Glimmer grabbed her by the arm and pulled her aside, “where are you going?”

“What does it matter?” Catra shrugged, but when Glimmer looked at her all pleadingly, she sighed and said, “need to talk to Scorpia. Organise stuff for their first away game.”

“Whoa, what?” Glimmer raised her eyebrows, “you’ve signed us up to do away games for them now?”

“I already cleared it with coach,” Catra shrugged, “the more cheering we do, the more practice we get. Handle these idiots for me while I do what I need to do, okay?”

Without giving Glimmer another second to protest, she swept away, cutting through the locker room to get to the back field as quickly as she could. Really, she couldn’t care less about practice or cheering any more than she had to, and had blatant ulterior motives for the whole thing.

She did need to talk to Scorpia, yes. But she also needed to find Adora.

It was like the girl had dropped off the face of the earth. When Catra had come back Friday night, Adora’s window was shut, locked, and her lights were off. She’d waited, just in case Adora had gone for a walk or something, but eventually figured she’d just gone to sleep despite the loud noises from the still-booming party.

She also thought Adora might show up at the diner on Sunday, but no cigar. And the first three days of the week, it was like she wasn’t even in school. Catra might’ve believed that, if they didn’t share two classes, and Adora hadn’t come in just before class started and vanished in a puff of smoke after the bell.

It was pretty clear to Catra that she was being avoided, and she wanted to know why.

She got to the back field just in time for the soccer girls to be finishing up a quick scrimmage. Scorpia was giving some kind of motivational speech which none of them looked like they were paying attention to, and Catra’s gaze drifted to Adora, watching as she absently played with the spare hair tie on her wrist.

She hated the way that something in her gut seemed to settle as she watched her. Hated that Adora meant something to her, but clearly the feelings weren’t mutual, even platonically.

Scorpia broke the team up with a loud, “great work today everyone!” and Catra knew she had to get to Adora before she had a chance to slip away.

“Hey, wildcat!” Scorpia called as she spotted her, but Catra wasn’t looking at her. She was watching the way Adora seemed to start in alarm, and when their gazes met from across the field, Adora looked afraid.

“Hey, Scorpia,” Catra said a little dismissively, slipping past her and heading straight for Adora, who was standing dead still on the pitch, like Catra was some hell demon that couldn’t see her if she didn’t move, “hang back for me, need to talk to you. Just have something else to deal with first.”

“No problemo,” Scorpia grinned, heading away to the locker room with the usual pep in her step. Catra wondered how she always managed to stay so positive.

Adora still hadn’t moved, not an inch, not even when Catra stopped in front of her and said sharply, “what? Aren’t you going to run away?”

Adora shrugged guiltily, and went to move past her, “I have to meet my brother.”

“He can wait,” Catra said, “I want to know why you’re avoiding me.”

Adora stopped, but she wouldn’t look Catra in the eye. “Who says I’m avoiding you?”

“It’s pretty fucking obvious,” Catra rolled her eyes, “so what did I do?”

Adora shrugged, and Catra waited for a response. It was almost becoming apparent that she wasn’t going to get a clear one.

“It’s not—” Adora sighed, and finally looked at her, “maybe this was a bad idea.”

Catra frowned, a sinking feeling in her chest that knew exactly what was coming. “Maybe what was a bad idea?”

“Being friends,” Adora said, “I can’t—I just… want to get through the year and go off to college. I shouldn’t have—gotten involved. Sorry.”

She turned tail and ran back to the locker room before Catra could even process what she’d said.

When she finally realised, finally understood, there was a sick feeling in her chest, like she was going to throw up. But there were still people milling around, and Catra couldn’t show anything like weakness. Not here.

She gritted her teeth and turned mechanically, not bothering to stop back off to get her things from her gym locker. She walked straight home, not thinking, not even feeling. A weird, aching numbness cloaked her entire body, and she hadn’t thought about what she was doing until she slammed her front door behind her and heard the last person she ever wanted to hear.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Catra hadn’t clocked her car in the driveway. Didn’t think to go around back and climb through her window like she usually would when her mother was home.

“Nothing,” Catra said, not even looking at her as she started down the hallway to her room, “sorry.”

“You don’t sound particularly sorry,” her mother’s voice rooted her to the spot, and Catra turned around to see her leaning against the lounge door frame, merlot swirling around in the glass in her hand. She heard the slur in her voice and knew that she was drunk. Not that she was ever sober, anyway. “Then again, it’s not like you ever are.”

Catra took a breath, wanting to get this over with. “I didn’t mean to slam the door.”

Naturally, Weaver wanted to drag things out. Like she knew that Catra felt like shit and wanted to make it worse. She pouted mockingly and took a sip of her wine. “Bad day?”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Catra snapped without thinking, and barely had time to flinch before her mother smacked her right in the face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—I just want to go to my room.”

“Lucky you still have one with the way you talk to me,” Weaver said, but Catra knew it was an empty threat. Weaver didn’t need people asking questions, so she wouldn’t dare kick her out. “Aren’t you going to tell your mother what happened? Let me guess – your friends realised how worthless you are and finally kicked you to the curb?”

Catra kept quiet, clenching her jaw shut. Naturally, her mother noticed and laughed mockingly.

“Oh, so that is what happened,” Weaver hummed, “surprised they even bothered with you in the first place. I wouldn’t, if I hadn’t been forced to.”

“Fuck this,” Catra muttered, pushing past her mother and hoping she spilled some of that wine on her precious carpet as she stalked out of the front door.

She waited until she was a bus ride away from town to cry.

“Your brother’s having a friend over for dinner tomorrow,” Marlena said as Adora opened up the refrigerator for a soda. “Why don’t you invite Catra over too?”

Adora felt that sinking, guilty feeling in her gut when her name was mentioned. It had been two weeks since she’d told Catra she couldn’t be friends with her, and she hated that she missed her.

She’d seen her around at school, obviously. Scorpia had told her that Catra was trying to pull the cheerleaders from the soccer games, against both coaches' wishes, and she’d passed by the cheerleaders’ practice the other day when she was meeting Adam after his practice. Some of those freshman girls had been crying while Catra snapped at them about how absolutely fucking useless they were.

If any of the whispers she’d heard around school were credible, Catra was being meaner than ever. Adora shouldn’t miss her.

She’d had to break away. Quit while she was ahead. There was no way she could’ve trusted Catra after what Glimmer had told her. They’d outed a girl and taken pride in it, used it for their own personal gains.

“That’s not—” Adora sighed, “we aren’t really friends anymore.”

“Oh?” Marlena looked concerned, and Adora couldn’t blame her. That was how she’d deflected back home, when everyone dropped her. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not like home,” Adora said quickly, “I was the one who… told her we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Marlena frowned, turning down the stove to let the sauce she was making simmer, “and why would you do that? Is it… were you starting to—”

“No, I wasn’t,” Adora cut her off quickly, before she could say it, “I found out something pretty major. Her and her best friend outed a girl they were friends with a few years ago.”

“Ah,” Marlena said, “did she tell you that?”

“I mean, no, but… the best friend did,” Adora answered, “there was no way I could trust her after hearing that. What’s the point, anyway? Eventually, she’d have to find out, and by then it would hurt way worse to lose her.”

Marlena hummed. “Not to be devil’s advocate here, but did you talk to her about it? Ask for her side of the story?”

“What other side could there possibly be, mom?” Adora rolled her eyes, “she found out a girl was gay and happily told everybody.”

Marlena frowned. “So… you haven’t spoken to her at all?”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about,” Adora said firmly, “anyway, it’s not like—I mean, she’s not even nice. She called Adam stupid just for asking her out. I mean, who does that? I never should’ve gotten involved in the first place. She's literally-she's everything I hated in some of those girls back home, and I don't know why I miss-um, I mean, I just...” she cut herself off with a sigh, "it doesn't matter."

“Well… as long as you feel you’re doing the right thing for you, I suppose,” Marlena flashed a comforting smile, “would you mind setting the table for dinner while you’re here?”

“Yeah, sure,” Adora said, and got to work doing that, “are you ungrounding Adam yet? I know there’s a party tonight he’s desperate to go to.”

“Partying should be the last thing on his mind right now,” Marlena rolled her eyes, “he should’ve known better than to go behind your back and throw a party. He knew the rules. Didn’t even have the decency to clear up before we got home.”

“In his defence, you did come home early,” Adora pointed out, but she was lucky enough that Adam took the fall, didn’t tell them that she’d known what he was planning.

Adam being grounded meant a welcome break from being dragged out with him, too. The last thing she needed was more chance to run into Catra.

“Still, he knew the rules and broke them,” Marlena said, “least he could’ve done is tidy up afterwards.”

After an awkwardly quiet dinner, where her parents were still mad at Adam, and Adora was still feeling despondent, she retired to her room to hide for the rest of the night. At least the weekend meant that she didn’t have to see Catra around anywhere.

God, she hated that she missed her.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, and her brother came in before she answered. “Hey. Heard you talking to mom earlier.”

Adora snorted sarcastically. “What, about how you’re an idiot who didn’t tidy up?”

“Nah,” Adam said, “well, yeah, but the first part too. You’re not friends with the mega-bitch anymore?”

“Don’t—” call her that, Adora was going to say, but realised that she didn’t have to defend her anymore, “no. I’m not.”

“Sucks,” Adam said, sitting down on the end of her bed, “I mean, I think she’s kind of an asshole, but you did seem happier having a friend.”

“Yeah, well,” Adora shrugged, “no point if she’s homophobic, is there? If she found out, it’d be Eternia all over again. And I won’t make mom and dad move again.”

“I kind of agree with mom, though,” Adam said, and Adora frowned, “like, why didn’t you talk to her before you ditched her?”

Adora shrugged. “Because there’s nothing to talk about. Anyway, she doesn’t even seem that bothered. I was probably just some weird practical joke she was going to make.”

“I don’t know about that,” Adam snorted, “I see cheer practice from the football field every day. Bitch has been on a rampage since you left her.”

“Obviously she’s mad that her joke didn’t pan out, then,” Adora rolled her eyes, “anyway, I’m fine, if that’s what you came in to ask.”

“That, and if you want to come to that party tonight,” Adam said, “I know I’m technically still grounded, but Sea Hawk’s picking me up anyway. You know he used to date her, right? Apparently the only boyfriend she’s ever had. Wonder what he did. Or what she did.”

“I don’t care what either of them did,” Adora muttered, because she really didn’t need any more confirmation of the fact that Catra was just some straight girl who would end up breaking her heart. “I’ll pass on the party. I’d rather not run into her.”

“Fair enough,” Adam shrugged and stood up, “maybe try making another friend, though. That might help. Isn’t that soccer captain always trying to get you to hang out with her and the rest of the team?”

“Yeah, but I meant what I said when I got here,” Adora said, “I just want to get through the year without making any stupid mistakes. Or I guess you could say any more mistakes.”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up,” Catra snapped, and watched the way one of the freshman girls’ idiotic smile dropped in favour of fear, “nobody cares that some idiotic mouthbreather in varsity football asked you out. We all know they’ll dump you as soon as you put out.”

“Sorry,” the girl squeaked, grabbing her friend and rushing off. Catra watched after them, mildly disgusted by how simple everything was for them. Maybe she hated them because nothing had ever been simple for her. She'd never be able to turn around and talk to Glimmer about a girl on the soccer team, and it made her fucking angry.

Glimmer frowned at her. “Jesus, what crawled up your ass and died? We don’t need another one of them to quit.”

Catra rolled her eyes. One of them had quit a week ago, citing emotional trauma or some shit. “If they can’t handle not thinking about boys for five fucking minutes, we don’t want them.”

“Whatever,” Glimmer took another sip of her drink, “at least you’re feeling like yourself again.”

Catra frowned. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“God, don’t bite my head off,” Glimmer snorted, “I was just saying to that Adora girl a couple of weeks ago that you’d been acting weird since she turned up. And now she’s gone away, you’re back to your old self. Traumatising the fresh meat.”

Glimmer smirked, but Catra narrowed her eyes. It was after that party that Adora had left her. Something must’ve happened. “What exactly did you say to her?”

“Just said that you’d been acting weird, and then I asked if she’d been to your house and she said no, so I figured you hadn’t gone that crazy,” Glimmer rolled her eyes, “honestly, sometimes I think you don’t even have a house. You sure you don’t live in a box under a bridge?”

“That can’t have been everything you said,” Catra ignored her previous comment, because there was no way she was talking about that with Sparkles of all people, “what else?”

Glimmer hummed. “I don’t know; I was drunk. She asked me if there was something going on at your house, and I said I had no fucking clue, because for some reason you’re stupidly mysterious about it. Then she started asking weird questions about Lonnie.”

Catra’s stomach bottomed out, and her jaw clenched. “And what did you tell her?”

“The truth, obviously,” Glimmer shrugged, “I think I left after that. Kept looking for you but you’d fucked off somewhere. Want another drink?”

“Sure,” Catra said quietly, watching as she walked away. Glimmer probably expected her to wait there, but Catra didn’t care. She pushed off from the wall when she saw him, not needing to push through the crowds as they parted like the red sea for her. “You,” she grabbed Adora’s idiotic brother by the arm, “with me, now.”

“What the fuck?” Adam almost dropped his drink but allowed her to drag him outside, where it was somewhat quieter, “what do you want?”

“Is Adora here?” Catra asked quickly, “I need to talk to her.”

“No,” Adam said, and sneered a little when he added, “she didn’t want to run into you.”

Catra pretended that didn’t hurt. “Has she told you why the fuck she doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Catra knew the why; it was obvious it had something to do with the Lonnie thing. But she needed to know which way it freaked Adora out.

“Maybe she realised what a conniving bitch you are,” Adam shrugged, “I mean, I hear you stabbed your friend in the back to get on top. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who could turn on me the moment it’s convenient.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Catra scoffed, “you don’t know anything about me.”

“No, but I trust my sister’s judgement,” Adam said casually, “and if someone as forgiving as her thinks you’re bad news… gotta be true.”

Catra turned away from him, not giving that comment the time of day. At least not verbally.

Problem was, when people said things like that about her, she always heard it in her mother’s voice.

Adora was half asleep when her bedroom window slid open, and a shadowy figure dropped onto the bed next to her.

She jumped up, flipping her would-be assailant down against the bed, pinning them with an arm across their throat, and reached to turn her lamp on.

“Jesus,” A familiar voice muttered, and Adora felt her heart sink to her stomach as she flicked the lamp’s switch on and saw exactly who she was pinning to the bed. Catra looked up at her, beautiful eyes dull and glazed over. “Are you trying to murder me? Do you really hate me that much?”

Adora let her go, scrambling off her and getting off the bed all together. God knows she needed some distance. “What did you think would happen when you came crawling through my bedroom window like some creeper?”

Catra levelled her with a glassy stare, and Adora could tell how drunk she was. The answer to that was very. “I didn’t really think about it.”

“I can tell,” Adora muttered, and with a hefty sigh she moved towards her bedroom door, “I’ll call you a cab.”

“Wait,” Catra said, and she somehow still managed to sound commanding. Adora stopped and turned around slowly, waited for whatever it was she had to say. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it.

“I’m sorry,” Catra said, so quietly Adora wasn’t sure if she imagined it, “about what happened with Lonnie. I know you found out and that’s why you hate me.”

Adora’s chest tightened. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about, with the last person she wanted to talk to. “I don’t hate you,” was all she said, robotically.

“You do,” Catra sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked so small that Adora wanted to comfort her, but then she remembered and stopped herself. “I hate me for it too.”

Okay. That was unexpected. “You do?”

“Of course I do,” Catra muttered, “she was my friend. I should’ve stopped it.”

“Stopped what?” Adora asked. Stopped her from getting outed, or stopped her from kissing you? Or both? Or neither, and something else entirely?

“When Glimmer walked in, I didn’t—all I thought about was protecting myself. Making sure she knew it wasn’t me who started it, that I wasn’t… like that. And Lonnie—she would’ve been as scared as I was. I can always stop Glimmer from blabbing about things, and I just didn’t. I was so close to getting what I needed, being on top, untouchable, and I was terrified of losing that. So I just let it happen. Glimmer told the team to get her kicked off, and then it snowballed from there. I even told people myself, when they asked me,” Catra rambled, “and Lonnie… thought I tricked her. That I told Glimmer to be there, to—to catch her, or something, so we could get rid of her, and I swear that wasn’t it. I didn’t know Glimmer would be there, and I didn’t—I didn’t know that Lonnie was going to kiss me.”

She seemed so sincere, but Adora didn’t know what to believe. “Did you apologise to her? After it happened?”

“I tried, but she didn’t want to hear it,” Catra sighed, resting her chin against her knees, looking down at her feet. “Called me every name under the sun, said she never wanted to speak to me again. Not that I blame her. She was right. I’m a fucking coward, and I always will be. It’s no wonder nobody likes me.”

Adora was quiet for a long time. Watching her, really seeing her. She wondered if anybody had seen Catra this vulnerable before, and strongly doubted it.

Before she could say anything, Catra slowly unfurled and started towards the window again. “I’m sorry, I’ll go. I just… wanted you to know that.”

She was halfway out of the window when Adora grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back in. She noted the way Catra flinched at her touch and let her go slowly, giving her some room.

“Don’t go,” Adora said, “you’re really drunk. Just… stay and sober up, okay?”

“You don’t need to look after me. I’m not worth it,” Catra shrugged, “I’ll go. I shouldn’t have even come here. You made it clear that you don’t want to be friends, and that’s—that’s fine.”

Her voice broke, and it made it clear to Adora that it wasn’t fine at all. And after everything she’d said, it wasn’t like everything was so clear-cut, the way Adora thought.

“I want you to stay,” Adora told her, looking her right in those beautiful eyes of hers, “and I’m sorry that I freaked out on you. I just—my aunt is gay, and homophobia is one of the few things that makes me really angry. And I know that’s not the most popular opinion to have, but...”

It was partially the truth. Aunt Mara was gay, but she wasn’t the only reason homophobia bothered Adora so much. But she wasn’t going to admit that. She knew she had to be careful, especially when Catra was clearly so repulsed by the idea of anyone even thinking she was gay that she panicked so much when a girl kissed her.

Or… she panicked because she is.

No, that was ridiculous.

“I’m not homophobic,” Catra said, looking her right in the eyes, “I’m…” she paused, and her gaze flitted away, looking around the room anxiously, “my bosses at work. They’re a couple and have been together forever.”

“Oh,” Adora said, pleasantly surprised, “that’s cool.”

Maybe people you can talk to if you need it. She decided to keep that in mind.

“I know what I did was homophobic,” Catra sighed and flopped back against Adora’s pillows, “I should’ve made Glimmer keep it quiet, but I was so scared. And I know I was like fifteen, or whatever, but it’s still bad. I’ve done a lot of bad things, but that… that’s the only thing I really regret.”

They were both quiet then, both thinking. Adora wished she could read Catra’s mind, but she supposed it was better this way. Catra had really opened up to her, been entirely honest about something. Clearly it meant that she cared what Adora thought about her.

Adora was the one to break the silence. “Why do you think everybody hates you?”

Catra frowned, looking up at her. She looked confused, and really really drunk, and Adora expected some kind of what the fuck answer.

The answer she got broke her heart.

“Because they do,” Catra said simply. Adora didn’t expect anything more, but then, “when my own mother hates me, it’s hard to believe anyone when they say they don’t.”

The comment lay there between them, Adora not knowing what to say, and Catra… Catra was staring up at the ceiling, a glassy expression on her face. Like she was entirely numb to the whole thing.

“You think your mom hates you?” Adora finally managed to get out.

“I don’t think. I know. She tells me quite a lot. She’s pissed off that she got knocked up when she was sixteen and loves taking her stupid mistakes out on me.” Catra said, stating it all like fact. “You know, I’ve never told anybody about it before. Not even Spinnerella and Netossa, and I’ve told them a damn lot.”

Adora was absolutely horrified, and she had to know… “she doesn’t—she doesn’t hurt you, does she?”

“If you can count her drunken tirades,” Catra shrugged, like she was completely numb, “she slaps me sometimes, but that’s only if she’s in a really bad mood.”

Adora blinked. “Well… you have to tell someone. Like, the cops or something. They could get you out.”

“And put me in some state home with all the other unwanted freaks?” Catra snapped, “no thanks. I’m fine where I am. I’ll be gone by summer, anyway.”

She was getting defensive again, but Adora realised it was probably because she was scared. “Well… you’re welcome here any time you want.”

Catra frowned at her. “Thought this was a bad idea and you shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“I maybe… jumped the gun a little bit,” Adora said quietly. She’d felt bad enough about it when she said it, despite how she felt she needed to protect herself. “And I guess my mom and brother were right. I should’ve talked to you before coming to my own conclusions.”

“I can’t really blame you,” Catra sighed and settled back, but then frowned at something she said, “wait, your brother said that? Because about two hours ago he called me a conniving bitch.”

“He’s… protective,” Adora shrugged, “no matter what, he’s always been in my corner. He thought you upset me, so he was going to be defensive. I’m sorry on his behalf, though.”

“It’s fine, he’s not wrong,” Catra said flippantly, but added slightly hesitantly, “so… are we good?”

Adora paused, dragging her teeth across her bottom lip in thought. She didn’t think that Catra had lied to her, especially after what she’d told her about her mother. This… seemed like a weird, drunken cry for help. And Adora had never not helped anyone in need, even if that meant just being a friend.

“Yeah,” she finally nodded, “we’re good.”

Catra smiled tiredly. “Good. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I missed you.”

“I mean, I’m going to tell everyone. Really up my cool factor, you know,” Adora shrugged, grinning playfully, “but I missed you too. Do you want me to grab you a soda before you inevitably pass out and make me sleep on the couch?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “but I’m not going to kick you out of your bed.”

“Too bad,” Adora said, “I’m not letting you go home.”

“No, I mean,” Catra shrugged and looked at her tiredly, “stay in here with me.”

Adora’s stomach knotted anxiously. “Okay, I can take the floor if—”

“No, in the bed, dummy,” Catra rolled her eyes, “it’s your bed.”

Adora raised her eyebrows, not sure if she liked where this was going or not. “You’re volunteering to take the floor?”

“Absolutely not,” Catra scoffed, “I’m just saying, you’ve got a fucking queen-sized bed. We can share. Promise I don’t have rabies.”

Adora hesitated, but after a few moments, she nodded. “Okay. Um… I have some spare pyjamas in that drawer if you want to borrow some. I’ll… be right back with your soda.”

“Thanks,” Catra said, and as Adora pulled open her bedroom door, she added quietly, “for everything.”

Catra woke up with a headache.

At first, she thought it was the headache that had woken her up, but discovered that wasn’t the case. The bed was wriggling around underneath her, and she blinked her eyes open to realise that it wasn’t the duvet at all that she’d basically wrapped herself around in her sleep.

Adora was shifting away, like she was trying not to wake her up. Despite how stupid it might be, Catra had already crossed the line from reckless to plain stupid anyway, admitting all of the shit she did last night.

Like, jesus fucking christ, she almost came out to Adora. Almost told her the whole truth about what really happened with Lonnie.

At least her stupid drunken brain had given Adora the redacted version instead.

“Stop moving,” Catra muttered into Adora’s shoulder, “it’s annoying.”

“Sorry,” Adora said, “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was actually trying really hard not to.”

“It’s fine,” Catra closed her eyes again, not wanting to move away from Adora’s warmth. She felt something odd around her, and realised that underneath all of that stupid crush stuff, there was something deeper.

Adora made her feel safe. Which was something she’d never really felt before.

“Um,” Adora shifted again, like she wanted to get away, “I’m sorry, but I really have to pee.”

“Ugh,” Catra groaned and rolled away from her, “fine. Go pee. Bring me some water on your way back.”

“Sure thing,” Adora said, and Catra felt the loss as she got up and left the room.

Catra pulled the sheets closer around her. They smelled like Adora, but it wasn’t the same as waking up the way she did. In a perfect world, she’d wake up like that every day.

God, she needed to get this stupid crush under control before she did something even more idiotic.

Adora didn’t take too long to get back, and in addition to the water she presented her with some tylenol too. “You were pretty drunk,” she explained, “figured you might have a headache.”

“I do,” Catra sat up, took the pill and a generous swig of water, and then asked, “what time is it?”

“Six-thirty.”

Catra looked at her incredulously, and immediately settled back down against the pillows. “That’s horrifically early for a Saturday. Wake me up in another six hours.”

She felt Adora slip back under the covers, but she kept an obvious distance from Catra. Catra definitely wasn’t brave – or stupid – enough to roll back over and snuggle into her again, so she made peace with feeling her presence there.

“That’d be like, twelve-thirty,” Adora said, “you’d sleep the whole day away.”

“Not really,” Catra said into the pillow, “I’d still have the afternoon and evening to play with.”

Adora was quiet for a moment, and Catra figured maybe she was going back to sleep too. But then she asked a question, maybe one that Catra should’ve expected.

“So, um, everything you said last night,” Adora said quietly, “did you mean it? Or was it just… drunken rambling?”

Catra hesitated, but finally answered, “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“Okay. Good,” Adora said, but after a few moments pause she admitted, “or, not good, I guess. I’m… really sorry about how things are with your mom.”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Catra said, but she gave up on sleep and opened her eyes. Adora was sitting up against the headrest, already looking right at her. “It’s kind of humiliating to admit that the one person who’s supposed to love you doesn’t.”

“It’s not your fault,” Adora said, “she’s… clearly just some bitter old hag and she’s taking it out on you. Nothing that she says to you is true.”

It felt weird to hear that from someone real, rather than those tiny thoughts at the back of her mind, the ones that tried and failed to reassure her.

She didn’t know what to say except a useless, “thanks.”

“I’m serious, though,” Adora said, “I mean… I like you. So that’s proof right there that she’s wrong. And I’m pretty sure your bosses like you. And Scorpia likes you. And Glimmer.”

“Sparkles,” Catra rolled her eyes, but she was thankful for the subject change. “I’m pissed at her right now. She went running her fucking mouth like she always does and almost ruined everything.”

Adora looked thoughtful, but eventually she just shrugged. “I don’t see it like that. Maybe she didn’t go about it in the best way, but she kept telling me she was worried about you because she thought you were acting weird. And I was the one who asked her about the Lonnie thing.”

Catra frowned. “How did you even know to ask her about that?”

“Well…” Adora sighed, “she kind of warned me about you.”

That made Catra sit up. “Sparkles?”

“No,” Adora said, “Lonnie. On my first day she caught me looking at you and a few of the other cheerleaders and told me I should probably stay away.”

Catra hummed. That explained why Adora was so freaked out by her, then. “Right.”

“And then a few days before the party, she saw us talking and asked me what I was doing, basically telling me I was putting a target on my back, and it freaked me out,” Adora said, “you know I’ve got… stuff I want to keep private. I guess I just worried that it would end up getting out somehow, and I know that makes it sound like I don’t trust you, but—”

“Because you don’t,” Catra said quietly, “trust me, I mean.”

It hurt, but she understood. Catra didn’t really trust anyone herself, though she’d already spilled more to Adora than she’d ever expected to.

“I didn’t,” Adora corrected her, and when Catra looked at her in surprise, she said, “I do now. Obviously I don’t—there’s stuff I can’t tell you because it’s just… it’s a lot, and pretty serious, but I trust that you wouldn’t stab me in the back.”

“You trust that I won’t stab you in the back after you found out I did that exact thing to someone else,” Catra said slowly, “no offence, but that’s terrible logic.”

“No, but…” Adora cut herself off with a frustrated sigh, “you seemed like you really regretted what happened with her. You fucked up, made a massive mistake that hurt someone badly, but I think you learned from it. Sure, you might tell the freshman girls on the cheer squad that they’re useless and stuff, but I don’t think you’re the evil genius mastermind that people make you out to be. At least… not with serious stuff, that could really hurt people.”

Adora had pretty much hit the nail on the head, but it would be far too embarrassing to agree with her. Instead, she just scoffed and said dryly, “you have far too much faith in me.”

“Or you have too little faith in yourself,” Adora shrugged easily, “so… yeah. I trust that you’re not secretly cooking up some evil scheme. And some other stuff too, but I can’t really explain that. So you’ll just have to trust me when I say I trust you.”

Catra huffed. “I suppose I can do that.”

Adora flashed her a soft smile, and it was hard not to believe in her.

Chapter Text

“Catra’s been around a lot lately, for someone who isn’t your friend anymore.”

Adora knew her mom had been waiting to ask her. For the last week, Catra had been around more than ever, generally coming home with Adora and her brother after school – much to Adam’s chagrin, as he’d now been shoved to the backseat – and staying the night.

Sometimes she’d go home, but Adora didn’t like to let her. Not knowing what she knew.

“Yeah, well,” Adora shrugged, “we sorted things out.”

“So you talked to her,” Marlena said slowly, “and things are fine now. Wow, wonder who told you to do that?”

“Shut up,” Adora rolled her eyes, “it’s not polite to say I told you so.”

“I didn’t,” Marlena laughed, “so I suppose now that you’re on break, she’ll be moving in? And before you deny it, I know she pretends to go home and then climbs back in through your window.”

“It’s not like that. She’s not like that,” Adora said hurriedly, before her mom could bring that accusation to the table. “Things aren’t… great at her house.”

“Oh?” Marlena paused, waiting for Adora to elaborate. When she didn’t, because it wasn’t her thing to talk about, she smiled gently and said, “let her know that she’s welcome any time.”

As if on cue, there was a knock at the front door, and Adora knew who it was. Was it a little pathetic that she’d memorised the sound of Catra’s knock? Maybe. Would she ever admit that she’d done it? Absolutely not.

She went to go answer the door, and Catra stepped in with a quiet, “hey.” She seemed a little sombre, and Adora wondered if something had happened.

“Everything okay?” She asked tentatively. She’d learned quickly that Catra didn’t like to talk about it at all, and often got defensive when asked.

But today she shrugged and muttered, “the usual. Her car’s in the shop so I didn’t realise she was home. Already hammered too, even though it’s eleven in the fucking morning.”

“Come on,” Adora nodded to her bedroom, “we’ll watch a movie or something. Take your mind off things. I have a pretty big tape collection.”

“If it’s anything like your record collection, I shudder to think,” Catra said, but the usual sarcasm was slightly off-kilter. “Thanks, though.”

Adora smiled, following Catra towards her bedroom. “No worries. Do you want to—I suppose I shouldn’t have bothered asking,” she cut the question off as Catra made a beeline for her drawer.

Adora had cleared one out for her without even thinking about it, once it became clear that Catra had decided to take you’re welcome any time very literally. She hadn’t really mentioned it, besides there’s an empty drawer at the bottom there, and somehow she’d ended up acquiring half of Catra’s wardrobe crammed in there.

Catra grabbed a t-shirt and some sweatpants from the drawer and disappeared to the bathroom to change. Adora watched after her, feeling a soft warmth in her chest, but quickly pushed it aside.

No way. Not happening.

Adora busied herself with rooting through her tapes for something Catra-approved, and was still looking through when Catra said from behind her, “jesus, these are fucking terrible.”

Adora jumped – she hadn’t heard her come back. Catra laughed quietly, and she was relieved that her terror had at least made her feel a little better. “Well, what do you like to watch?”

“Anything directed by Wes Craven,” Catra shrugged, “dude’s a genius. I mean,” she sifted through the tapes, freckled nose crinkling in disapproval, “don’t you have any horror?”

“I’ve never really watched horror movies,” Adora said, “real life is scary enough.”

“I’d suggest a trip to Blockbuster, but I’m not getting changed again,” Catra said, pulling a tape out and passing it to her. “I’ll educate you some other time. Put that on.”

Adora glanced at the cover and smiled. “E.T. phone home.”

She switched her TV on and popped the tape in. She always made a habit of rewinding her tapes after she watched them, so it started at the beginning. Unlike her brother, who always left them at the end and forced anyone who wanted to watch it next to do the rewinding.

“Those kids are braver than me,” Catra said, and Adora settled down on the bed next to her. Catra was already stretched out, on top of the sheets, the majority of Adora’s pillows propping her up. “If I saw E.T in my house, I’m whacking that little fucker with a hammer.”

“Hey, don’t judge a book by its cover,” Adora said, “plus, he’s kind of cute.”

Catra snorted. “Okay, seriously concerned about what you’re into now that you’ve said that.”

“Oh my god, I don’t mean like that,” Adora laughed, “weirdo. He’s like a weird little puppy. I’d take him in. He’d be my new best friend.”

“Ouch, that hurts,” Catra rolled her eyes, “replacing me with a demonic looking alien.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “Best friend?”

“I–shut up,” Catra muttered, and Adora laughed quietly at the embarrassed flush on her freckled cheeks. “I mean, it’s not like I have any competition. Pretty sure I’m your only friend.”

As true as that was, Adora wasn’t going to let that little slip-up go so easily. “Aw, I’m your best friend?”

“Uh, I didn’t even say that,” Catra scoffed defensively, “I said you’d be replacing me with E.T. So like, you’re my best friend. I mean–wait, fuck–stop laughing!”

Adora couldn’t help herself. It was so much easier to tease her, now that she didn’t seem like some terrifying Satanic hellbeast who’d out her as soon as she got the opportunity. Now that there was some trust there, everything felt a lot more real.

“I mean, you said it, not me,” Adora shrugged, smirking playfully, “sucks for Glimmer, though.”

“Fuck her,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I’m still pissed off at her. Not because of what she told you, but because when I told her she should’ve kept her nose out of my business, she claimed she was doing it for my own good. Like, what the actual fuck is wrong with her?”

“Oh, the horror,” Adora laughed quietly, “your friend cares about you.”

“Well, she needs to knock it off,” Catra muttered irritably, and despite how Adora had carefully made her bed just a few hours ago, she untucked the duvet and climbed under. “I’m cold,” she said by way of explanation, and then added, “I mean, what’s so wrong about it if I want to spend time with someone else for once? Why is it so bad if I’m finally doing something for myself?”

“I mean, not trying to lose the coveted position of your best friend at all here,” Adora said, “but maybe she’s got a point when she said you were acting different. From her perspective, you have been. It’s okay for her to be worried.”

“Stop it, I’m trying to be irrationally angry,” Catra rolled her eyes, “don’t rationalise it for me and make me realise I’m being stubborn for the sake of it.”

Adora laughed. “All I’m saying is, give her a break. She cares about you, in her own way.”

“I know,” Catra sighed, like it was a problem. 

Maybe to her, it was. After all, Catra had told her in her own words - albeit drunkenly - that Glimmer knew next to nothing about her, even though they’d known each other for years. And Glimmer clearly didn’t know about Catra’s home life.

“Okay, I want to ask you something, and I don’t want it to sound… offensive,” Adora said slowly, “but sometimes you don’t even seem like you like her.”

Catra grabbed Adora’s old Scooby Doo plushie and cuddled it to her chest. “That wasn’t a question.”

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is… do you like her?” Adora said, “and if you don’t, then why do you bother hanging around with her?”

“It’s complicated,” Catra shrugged, “I’ve known her my whole life. When we were kids I guess it was because we’d always be causing some kind of mischief. Things were way simpler back then. And then as we got older and I saw how people acted, how easy it was for your life to be made completely fucking miserable, I knew that Glimmer would easily be able to get on top, be one of the ones in control. And if I stuck with her, did what was cool, or whatever, I could too. Plus, staying on her good side means she wouldn’t dare dig into my life. You worried that I could find out whatever it is that happened back in your hometown, right?”

When Adora nodded, Catra kept going. “She’s how I could. She can find out anything about anyone, even when I can’t. If I’d wanted to, you made it easier for me by telling me where you’re from that night we met. But if I didn’t have that information, have that starting point to get in contact with someone that used to know you, I could get her to find out. And she’d do it, no questions asked. I don’t know how she manages it, honestly. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t used her powers for my own personal gain before.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question,” Adora said, “or, it doesn’t really answer the first one.”

“I like her,” Catra said simply, “it’s hard not to, when you’ve had someone in your life for that long. But I definitely don’t trust her. She’s just as cunning and ruthless as me. Maybe more, sometimes. But I know how to keep her in check. And despite whatever fucked up kind friendship we have, where we both think the absolute worst of each other, I do care about her.”

“She’d probably be there for you, you know,” Adora said, “if you talked to her about stuff, opened up to her.”

“Maybe, but she’s too much like me,” Catra shrugged, “there’s always a chance she’d use it for leverage, if she needed to.”

Adora frowned. “You’re saying you’ve used people’s secrets as leverage before?”

“Obviously,” Catra said, rolling her eyes, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you; I’m not a good person. I’ve lied and cheated and blackmailed. Stabbed people in the back. I have to keep everyone a healthy level of afraid of me so they don’t dare fuck with me. I have too much to lose.”

“Would it really be so bad if people found out you… don’t get on with your mom?” Adora asked, “I mean, most people are generally good. They’d probably do what they could to help you out. I feel like I’m a pretty obvious example of that.”

“It’s not that,” Catra said, “it’d be fucking humiliating if that got out, but it wouldn’t ruin my life or anything. There are plenty of other things fully capable of doing that, and plenty of people who would love a chance to get back at me.”

Adora waited, half-thinking Catra would tell her. After all, she’d been honest enough about a lot of other things lately.

“Don’t expect anything,” Catra shut her down, “I’ve told you a lot, but there’s some things I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone with.”

“Fair enough,” Adora understood - she’d already made the mistake of trusting the wrong person, and wasn’t sure if she’d ever be brave enough to come out again. “I get it.”

Catra glanced back at the TV. “We’ve missed Elliot finding E.T and not whacking him with a hammer.”

“I feel like I’d convince you to help me lay out the Reese’s and lure him back,” Adora smiled lightly, “you’re nicer than you give yourself credit for. You’d feel bad that you whacked the poor little guy with a hammer and want to rescue him.”

Catra rolled her eyes, muttering petulantly, “I would not.”

“Face it, Catra,” Adora laughed, “you’ve got a conscience.”

“I wouldn’t know; I haven’t met it yet.”

“Sure you haven’t.”

“You seem happier lately.”

“Can everyone stop analysing my behaviour at every single goddamn moment?” Catra snapped irritably, “it’s annoying.”

“Okay, fine, I take it back,” Spinnerella laughed jovially, but she clearly didn’t take it back as she added, “you do, though. Does it have anything to do with the girl Netossa keeps telling me about?”

“Okay, absolutely not,” Catra said firmly, “I am not talking about that. I think there’s a table over there that needs clearing, anyway.”

She escaped before Spinnerella could say anything else and embarrass her further. Seriously, it was getting to the point where she was going to ban Adora from coming in, because she was sick of dealing with Netossa’s shit-eating grin every time she so much as made eye contact with her.

Truth was, Spinnerella was kind of right. She was a lot happier lately, to the point where she wasn’t sure if she’d ever known what happy felt like. It helped being out of the house so much more, away from her mother’s oppressive presence, but she thought it was also Adora’s fault.

It was nice to have someone she could relax around. Someone who didn’t expect her to do or say anything. Someone who thought Catra was a lot better than she actually was.

It was increasingly becoming a problem. How the fuck was she supposed to not fall for Adora when she was so perfect?

She thought that being on fall break would help. After all, it’s not like she would automatically see Adora every day at school. But of course, she had no such thing as willpower, and a need to stay out of her mother’s house, so naturally she’d been at Adora’s every day this week.

And every night.

She was never brave enough to just curl up next to her like she wanted, feel that comfort she felt when they woke up. In the night, she’d always moved. Always rolled over, pressed right against Adora, and always woke up feeling so safe.

It was something she’d never really felt before. She really didn’t want it to stop.

Adora never said anything to stop her. Never acted weird about it, even though Catra knew she had every right to. She’d be worried if it wasn’t something she could write off as not her fault. Just her body’s natural attraction to a nearby source of heat. It was science, obviously.

At least, that’s what she planned on saying if Adora ever questioned her. Regardless of the trust she had in her, she was absolutely not saying anything about that. 

The bell on the diner’s doors rang as she was ringing up table four, and she glanced up to see her walking in. It was nearly close, and Adora had developed a habit of coming to pick her up. She wasn’t complaining about it at all. It was like Adora expected Catra to just come home with her after her shift.

Catra let out a tired, “have a nice day,” as the patrons from table four made their way out. Her heartbeat felt like it quickened in her chest, and there was a fluttery sensation in her stomach when Adora approached the counter with a smile.

“Hi,” she said, and Catra wondered what the fuck was wrong with her, why a simple hi made her want to leap across the counter and kiss Adora senseless. “Are you nearly finished?”

“Yeah,” Catra answered, “do you want anything?”

“No, that’s okay,” Adora smiled, “I just came to pick you up.”

Netossa coughed loudly, and if Catra didn’t know any better, it would’ve sounded innocent. But really, it just sounded like the word gay. Catra whirled around and fixed her with a glare, but Netossa just smirked and said, “that expression isn’t very cheerleadery of you.”

“Fuck off,” Catra rolled her eyes, “there’s a reason I didn’t tell you about that, and this is exactly why.”

“I know you said you did it for a scholarship,” Netossa said, “but are you sure there weren’t other reasons too?”

She was smirking, and Catra knew exactly what she was thinking. “Absolutely not. The girls on that team are annoying as fuck. There’s no way I’d spend time with them willingly, and being head cheerleader means I can tell them how annoying they are with no consequences.”

Netossa seemed to get the message. No, I did not join to look at attractive girls, because none of them are attractive to me. “Oh, just because they’re not grumpy like you, they’re annoying, are they?”

“Yes,” Catra said, “anyone who isn’t perpetually miserable can stay away from me.”

“Ouch,” Adora laughed quietly, “guess you don’t want a ride home, then.”

“You don’t count,” Catra was quick to say, and she caught Netossa’s mutter of wonder why. Thankfully, Adora hadn’t seemed to. She just smiled, and Catra’s heart felt like it was going to burst in her chest. “Anyway, I won’t be long. Just have to help clean up.”

“Nah, Spinny and I have it from here,” Netossa said lightly, “don’t keep your friend waiting.”

Catra frowned. “That’s suspiciously nice.”

“Or just nice,” Adora suggested, “not everything has a scary ulterior motive.”

“Hm,” Catra thought about it and shook her head, “no, she definitely does.”

“I just want some alone time with my–” Netossa paused, glanced at Adora and said quickly, “best friend.”

Catra snorted, “you can chill, she knows.”

Netossa raised an eyebrow. “About…?”

“You and Spinnerella,” Catra said, and just about that, “sorry I blabbed, but I had to prove to her I wasn’t homophobic.”

“And there wasn’t some other way to do that?” Netossa said, but she wasn’t annoyed. More genuinely confused as to why Catra hadn’t told Adora the truth. 

Catra had her reasons. There was a big difference between knowing someone your friend worked for was gay, and the friend that you shared a bed with practically every night was gay. 

Yes, Adora had said that homophobia made her angry because of her aunt. Yes, maybe one day, way, way, way in the future, Catra could tell her. But she was absolutely nowhere near ready for that now, nor was she in a situation where she could. Once she was far away from Bright Moon, she might consider it. Might.

Probably not.

“Not one I could think of,” Catra said pointedly, “she’s fine with it, though. Her aunt’s gay.”

“Oh, really?” Netossa asked, “anyone I know?”

Catra snorted sarcastically. “Because you know all the gay people in the world.”

“Maybe I do,” Netossa shrugged, “you don’t know.”

If Adora hadn’t been standing there, Catra might’ve said something like, well, can you get me a girlfriend, then? But she was, so she just shrugged and let it go.

“Um, her name’s Mara,” Adora said, “but you probably don’t know her. She lives in Etheria City with her girlfriend. I didn’t even know she was gay until last year.”

Netossa hummed. “And you and your family were… okay with that?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adora nodded, “my parents and my grandma had known for years. They didn’t tell my brother and I until… well, last year, but it wasn’t because they were hiding it from us. It was more like they didn’t know if we would blurt it out randomly, because even… well, even association can be dangerous.”

Which is exactly why I’ll never tell her, Catra thought to herself. “Clearly I live for danger, then.”

Adora didn’t react the way Catra expected her to. She expected a laugh, maybe. But instead Adora blinked in surprise and looked almost scared. “What?”

Catra frowned. “Working here, dummy.”

“Oh, right,” Adora said, and let out a nervous laugh, “yeah.”

“Anyway,” Catra said, shaking that off, “I’ll get my stuff and we’ll go. Be right back.”

She turned and headed to the break room, and she didn’t even realise that Netossa had followed her until she spoke from behind her.

“That girl’s fruitier than an orchard,” Netossa said, “luckily for you. You’ve got a chance.”

“Um, what?” Catra raised her eyebrows. “Thought I was supposed to be the delusional one here. You’re supposed to tell me that’s a straight girl who will break your heart and nothing more.”

“When you made that joke, it was like for a second, she thought you were talking about her,” Netossa said, “didn’t you say she wouldn’t tell you why she moved here? Maybe it was because she got outed or something.”

Catra shrugged it off. It was a possibility, sure. Just the same as Adora getting run out of town because she was a serial killer or something.

“Expect disappointment,” Catra said dryly, “and you’ll never be disappointed.”

Chapter Text

“We’re here!”

Adora jumped up from the bed, leaving a confused Catra reaching for the VCR remote to pause the movie she’d brought over. She’d gone to Blockbuster before arriving, insisted that Adora had to be educated on horror movies, and had been making her sit through Friday the 13th, Part One for the last forty minutes.

Any distraction would’ve been a welcome one from that, but hearing her Aunt Mara’s voice at the door was the best one she could’ve gotten.

She ran to hug her, and Mara pulled her in tight, with a gentle, “how are you doing?”

She’d only found out about Mara and her best friend Hope actually being together when Marlena had reached out to them about everything happening with Adora. Having someone to talk to had helped more than she could imagine - even if everything was still shitty, at least she had some kind of positive role model, one who was actually happy.

“I’m okay,” Adora said, and made sure to add quickly, “I have a friend over.”

“Okay,” Mara smiled, and Adora pulled back to hug Hope too, “she doesn’t know anything?”

“Well…” Adora trailed off, “not about me. But she knows about you.”

“Oh?” Hope raised her eyebrows. “And she’s cool?”

Adora nodded. “Yeah.”

Mara smiled, bumping against her comfortingly. “Looks like you picked a good one, then. Will she be staying for dinner?”

“Are you talking about her friend?” Marlena asked, pulling her sister in for a hug. “She’ll almost certainly be staying. You’ll ask her, won’t you, Adora?”

“Uh, yeah,” Adora nodded, glancing down the hallway to her bedroom, “I better go do that, actually.”

She left as her parents and brother greeted Mara and Hope and showed them inside, and headed back to her bedroom to explain what was going on to a very confused looking Catra.

“Hi, sorry,” Adora flashed a sheepish smile, “my aunt and her girlfriend are here. Are you staying for dinner?”

“If you’ll have me,” Catra shrugged, “then yes.”

“Cool,” Adora smiled, “I’m sorry in advance if they ask you any personal questions. You don’t have to answer them.”

“I know,” Catra shrugged, “I probably won’t, with your meathead brother lurking around. Are you sure I’m not allowed to fuck with him?”

Adora rolled her eyes fondly. “Nope, he’s off limits. Besides, he’s cool. Don’t tell him I said that, though.”

“Whatever,” Catra rolled her eyes, like she really didn’t believe her, “are we going to finish the movie, or do I need to pretend to be friendly and sociable for your relatives immediately?”

“I think we have time to finish this,” Adora sat back down against her pillows, glancing over at Catra as she pressed play and the murderer resumed stabbing a guy through the neck, “I don’t know how you watch this stuff. It’s gross.”

Catra laughed. “Slashers are fun. We’ll watch all the Fridays and then we’ll move onto Elm Street, Child’s Play and Halloween. Then we can go see the next Elm Street in theatres.”

Adora groaned. “Why did I let you talk me into watching this?”

Catra shrugged. “Guess I just have a way with words.”

Adora knew it was because she was starting to think and feel some things… but she was going to get over it, so it would all be fine in the end. She tried to pay attention to the movie, as much as she hated it.

And then one of the girls was being stalked by the killer in the bathroom. As the character pulled open one of the changing room curtains, Adora jumped, yelped, and grabbed Catra’s hand without thinking.

“Sorry,” Adora realised what she’d done when she’d opened her eyes, and realised the killer hadn’t even popped out like she’d expected. She looked down at their hands and quickly went to let go, “sorry, I’m just kind of a wimp.”

She expected some kind of teasing remark from Catra as she let go of her hand and shuffled away slightly to give her a little space. Frankly, Adora couldn’t even bear to look over at her, she was so embarrassed at her own impulsivity.

“It’s okay,” Catra said, and after a few moments, Adora felt soft fingers slip between her own. “I don’t mind.”

Adora’s heart felt like it was working overdrive. She chanced a look down at their hands, so casually intwined between them, and wondered what the fuck was going on. When she looked at Catra, she was looking straight ahead, watching the movie like nothing had happened, like they weren’t holding hands.

If anything, it was yet another confirmation that she was maybe crushing on a straight girl.

She should let go of Catra’s hand. Really, she’d been feeding into her stupid feelings more than she should’ve – she always woke up with Catra curled into her on a morning, and always found it so hard to pull away. And now she was holding hands with her, watching a movie.

If she wanted to cut this blossoming crush off where it was, she should let go. Move away, even. Make Catra sleep on the couch.

Instead, she gripped onto Catra’s hand and tried to play it cool. “Not going to offer to turn the movie off?”

Catra let a breath out of her nose, like a soft laugh. “No. This shit is art.”

“Terrifying art,” Adora muttered, and that got a real laugh out of Catra, “but I suppose I’ll deal with it. Only if you’ll watch Pretty in Pink with me.”

Catra’s nose crinkled in disgust. “Absolutely not. I hate romance movies.”

“Hey, I’m traumatising myself with horror movies for you!” Adora argued, though she might continue doing so if it meant whatever was going on right now would happen more often. “It’s a fair trade.”

“Ugh,” Catra scoffed, “fine.”

“How can you hate romance movies, anyway?” Adora rolled her eyes, “they’re cute.”

“I don’t want to watch some movie about people falling in love when I’m dying alone,” Catra retorted, “duh. It’s like they’re rubbing their happiness in my face. Like, let me be bitter and lonely in peace.”

She said it like a joke, but Adora knew that she really believed it, and it made her heart hurt. Despite the lines she was already crossing, she shrugged and shot Catra a comforting smile. “You’re not dying alone. I’ll always be around to bother you.”

Catra smiled, but there was something off about it. She shrugged and looked back to the movie. “Whatever. Now be quiet, someone else is about to get stabbed.”

Adora sighed. “Great.”

The movie continued just as gruesomely as before, but Catra kept hold of her hand and generally tried holding back her laughs at each terrified squeak Adora made. And as much as Adora hated horror movies, she decided she might like them if it meant she’d get to hold Catra’s hand.

“So, Catra, you met Adora at school?”

As soon as the question was asked, Catra knew it was awkward q&a time with Adora’s relatives. She wouldn’t have minded, if Adora’s dumbass brother wasn’t mouthbreathing across the table. Last thing she wanted was him knowing anything about her. He was already looking at her like she was crazy, probably due to the lack of bitchy and/or sarcastic comments so far.

God forbid she wanted Adora’s family to like her.

“Kind of,” Catra answered slowly, “we met at a party.”

She left out the part where she was incredibly fucking drunk, but whatever. The woman – Mara, Adora had told her – laughed kindly and said, “well, if it was anything like the parties Adora would go to in Eternia, she was probably a little drunk and floppy.”

“Uh, no,” Catra said, “actually, I haven’t seen her drink at all. It’s usually me being the drunk and floppy one.”

The other woman – Hope – laughed and said, “out of character for you, Adora.”

Adora shrugged. “I just… didn’t think it was the best idea to get drunk in a new place. Might… blurt things out or make a bad impression.”

Mara smiled at Adora in an oddly comforting way, and Catra didn’t know what the hell that was about. She went back to eating her pasta when Mara asked her another question, “so, do you do any extracurriculars? I know Adora joined soccer and Adam’s on the football team. Do you play soccer too?”

“Uh…” Catra hesitated, and she hated the way she had to answer that question every single time, “I’m actually on the cheerleading squad.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Mara said, “Hope used to cheer back in school.”

“I miss it,” Hope smiled reminiscently, and said, “you’ll feel the same when you’re off at college.”

Catra bit back the eye roll and the I doubt it. “Yeah, probably.”

She picked the wrong moment to take a sip of her water. “If you’re a cheerleader, you probably have a boyfriend, right?”

She couldn’t hold back the laugh. Honestly, she didn’t mean for it to happen and ended up snorting water up her nose. Adora reached out and patted her on the back, and once she’d cleared her throat, she laughed quietly and said, “absolutely not.”

“Smart,” Mara said, and she just caught the way she and Hope looked at each other. “No distractions, huh?”

“Sure,” Catra shrugged, wondering what that look was about. Like they both knew something she didn’t. “All the guys at our school are morons, anyway.”

Adam coughed quite loudly at that, as if he expected her to say he was an exception to that rule while she was on her best behaviour. Instead, she just smirked and said, “captain of the morons over there proves my point.”

It was worth the stern look Adora gave her for the offended expression on his face. Everyone else clearly took it as a friendly joke, with Mara laughing and Hope nudging Adam playfully and saying, “she isn’t wrong.”

“So I guess you’ve got a pretty packed schedule, then?” Mara asked her once the laughter died down, “school, cheerleading, and all of that.”

“I work too,” Catra shrugged, “just on weekends and some days after school. But honestly, I never feel that busy. If I am, I’m generally busy annoying Adora.”

“Trust me,” Hope said, “I don’t think you annoy her at all.”

Adora shot Hope a weird look across the table, and Hope simply grinned in response. Catra didn’t know what the fuck type of psychic communication was going on around her, but she wasn’t sure if she liked it.

Then again, Mara and Hope seemed nice enough, and she knew they were gay too. She was probably just being overly paranoid – spending her whole life under her mother’s roof and analysing her every move to figure out what kind of mood she was in would do that.

After dinner, Adora was quick to whisk her away from the table and any more questions. Catra figured she was going to be in some kind of trouble for being mean to the meathead – really, she couldn’t help herself and it was annoying that Adora wanted her to be nice to him – but instead, Adora shut her bedroom door behind them and breathed out a, “sorry,” as she flopped down on her bed.

Catra raised her eyebrows. “For what?”

“I don’t know,” Adora admitted, and when Catra laughed, she did too, “I guess I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable with all my family around. You know, when… at your house it’s not…”

She trailed off, and Catra figured out what she was trying to say pretty easily. “It’s fine,” she said, trying not to get defensive, to snap that she didn’t need Adora’s pity, “I’ve spent my entire life hanging around Sparkles and her infuriatingly loving parents. I can handle it.”

“I know, but it’s just…” Adora shrugged, “you shouldn’t have to.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Are you forgetting that I’m the one who keeps turning up whenever I feel like it? Obviously, your family is going to be around. It’s their house.”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Adora frowned, and looked up at her with something in her gaze that Catra just couldn’t figure out. “I mean, like… you deserve to be—like, used to all of it. With your own family, you know? And I feel like going to your house and bitch-slapping your mom whenever I think about it.”

Catra snorted. As much as she’d pay to see that, she’d rather Adora never have to meet the old hag. “Chill. It’s fine.”

“It’s not, though,” Adora sighed, and she was quiet for a moment, “come here.”

Catra watched her, and after a few moments, she pushed herself away from the door and walked over to join Adora on her bed. “Well?”

Adora looked at her, hesitated, and then pulled her in for a tight hug. Catra tensed naturally – she wasn’t used to people touching her, and Adora noticed it and started pulling away. That was when Catra’s brain kicked into action and she hugged her back, burying her face into Adora’s shoulder.

She’d never really appreciated hugs before. Never really thought about them, considering she hardly got them. She didn’t know if it was just the hug, or the fact that it was Adora hugging her, that made her feel so safe.

Either way, she never wanted to let go.

When she felt Adora pulling back, she let it happen and acted like that wasn’t the best thing that had ever happened to her. It wasn’t exactly a lie – the best thing was how Adora had held her hand all throughout the second half of Friday the 13^th – but this was a close second.

“What was that for?” She asked casually, like her heart wasn’t working overtime.

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, “I just… wanted to hug you. I felt like—like you needed it.”

She had, but there was no fucking way she was admitting to it. Instead, she snorted out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Okay, fucking loser.”

Adora wasn’t put off by it. Instead, she just smiled and looked towards the TV. “So… Pretty in Pink?”

Catra laughed. “Absolutely not. I’m going to go so you can hang out with your family.”

“You don’t have to,” Adora said, and Catra could’ve predicted that response. “I want you to stay.”

“Well, I want never gets,” Catra rolled her eyes and got up from the bed, stretching. “I’ll be back later, you know that. Have some family time and when I come back, we can watch your lame movie.”

Adora looked like she was going to argue but seemed to know when to quit. She rolled her eyes, sighed, and said, “at least let me walk you to the door.”

“I think I remember where it is,” Catra couldn’t help the sarcastic comment, but she softened it with, “but okay.”

Adora walked her to the door as promised, and waited until Catra had put her shoes on to ask quietly, “can I hug you again?”

“Clingy, much?” Catra teased her, because she couldn’t just say yes. “Sure.”

Adora pulled her in again, and Catra sighed into her shoulder, taking in the feeling of absolute, complete contentment, before she pulled back and opened the front door. “Later, loser. Don’t have too much fun without me.”

-

The door closed behind Catra, and Adora smiled, despite how she hated watching her leave. She knew Catra would make good on coming back later; Adora left her window unlocked and open every night, just in case Catra wanted to come in.

(Honestly, one of these days, it actually would be a serial killer climbing in there, and Adora wouldn’t even notice until they stabbed her.)

“You like her.”

Adora jumped and turned around to see Hope leaning against the lounge door frame.

“Um, what?” Adora blinked, “No. She’s my friend. So… I like her, but not in—in that way.”

Hope shrugged like she didn’t believe her. “You’re lying, but that’s fine. You totally have a shot, so…”

“Okay–that’s insane,” Adora laughed humourlessly, because she absolutely didn’t, “she’s literally the definition of a straight girl. She's the head cheerleader, for crying out loud.”

“Oh, wow, okay, you really have a terrible gaydar,” Hope laughed, “Mara, babe, she thinks that girl is straight.”

“Leave them alone,” Mara laughed gently, “I’m sure Catra will tell Adora when she’s ready.”

“Wait, what?” Adora followed Hope into the lounge, staring at her aunt like she’d lost her marbles. Because clearly, she had. “You agree with her? Did you not hear what I said? She’s straight.”

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, Adora, but straight girls usually don’t stare at their best friends with lovesick googly eyes,” Hope laughed, “and that’s exactly how she stares at you.”

Adora rolled her eyes, because the last thing she needed was false hope. “You two are delusional.”

“Okay, not that I agree with Hope’s way of going about this,” Mara prefaced, and Adora knew she wasn’t going to like what she heard next, “but we’re talking about a girl who answered ‘do you have a boyfriend’ by laughing so hard she got water up her nose and then saying absolutely not.”

“Yeah, but… that doesn’t mean she’s not straight,” Adora said, “I mean, she doesn’t date now, but she’s had a boyfriend before. Adam told me.”

“And I had a husband,” Hope pointed out, “so that really doesn’t mean much. Especially at your age.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you,” Adora said, “I mean, I nearly stopped being friends with her when I thought she might’ve done something homophobic. She would know that she could tell me. Right?”

Mara smiled sadly. “It’s not always that simple.”

And Adora realised, with a sad ache in her chest, that it wasn’t.

Chapter Text

“Hey, you coming to the Halloween carnival?”

Adora looked up from the book she was reading to see her brother leaning around her door frame. It looked like he was actually serious when he asked that question.

She snorted with laughter, closing her book and picking up her soda. “Obviously not. Why would I go just to wander around alone?”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “Not going with your girlfriend?”

Adora snorted Sprite up her nose at that question. “My what?”

“Satan,” Adam shrugged, “I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you’re into her. Not that I understand why when she’s such a bitch.”

“Okay, she’s my friend, first off, so don’t insult her,” Adora said firmly, “and second, are you forgetting that you were the one interested in her? You literally asked her out.”

“Only because she’s hot,” Adam rolled his eyes, “not like she has a nice personality or anything. Seriously, though, it’s obvious you’re into her. I heard you talking to Mara and Hope last week.”

Adora sighed; clearly, he wasn’t letting this go easily. “Did you hear the part where I quite clearly said I don’t like her like that?”

“Yup, and I heard the part where Hope said it was obvious you were lying,” Adam shrugged, coming into the room and shutting Adora’s door behind him. “I also heard them say they think she’s like you.”

“Well, they’re delusional,” Adora said, and when her brother just looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she sighed, “she’s not like me. I’d be able to tell, from the stuff she says. Plus, she’s had a boyfriend before. And it’s not like it even matters, anyway, because I don’t like her like that.”

Adam smirked. “Sure you don’t. You look at her the same way you looked at that Huntara bitch.”

“Would you stop?” Adora snapped, and when her brother actually had the decency to look guilty, she said quieter. “Sorry. It’s just—that stuff isn’t going to happen for me. You know that. So whatever feelings I might have… I’m getting them under control.”

Adam sat down on the end of her bed, uncharacteristically quiet. “It’s okay for you to like her, you know. Even if she’s not like you. Feelings are… natural, or whatever. Everyone gets crushes.”

“Yeah, except when you get a crush, you don’t get beat up for it,” Adora said frustratedly, “when you get a crush, you can actually ask the girl out. When I get a crush, it’s fucking hopeless.”

Adam looked at her concernedly, and after a few moments, he smiled and stood up. “Alright. Get dressed. You’re coming out with me, and we’re going to cheer you up.”

“I’m fine,” Adora said, “and I don’t think awkwardly trailing around behind you and your football friends will make me feel much better.”

“Bow will be there. You told me yourself, you think he’s alright,” Adam said, “besides, I won’t ditch you. And once you’ve been on a couple of carnival rides, you might have a good time.”

Adora considered it, and after a few moments, let out a heavy sigh and nodded. “Fine. Yeah, okay. I suppose it couldn’t make me feel any worse.”

It didn’t make her feel worse, per se, but it didn’t make her feel much better. She awkwardly followed her brother to meet his friends, and besides a few uncomfortable hellos on her end, she didn’t bother talking to them.

She followed them onto a few rides, and ignored a couple of comments made about her ass when she leaned over playing hook-a-duck, but mostly stayed towards the back of the group, wondering if Adam would notice if she slipped away.

She was about to go for it when someone slowed down to match her step, and she realised it was Bow. Adora did think he was alright, though she didn’t really understand why he hung out with the rest of the football team. He didn’t seem the type to engage in the typical locker room talk.

“Hey, you okay?”

Adora glanced over at Bow – he genuinely looked concerned, and she didn’t really get why. It wasn’t like they were friends. She’d figured he’d just slowed down because he felt bad for Adam’s weird sister. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Bow asked, and before Adora could brush him off again, he smiled knowingly and said, “I figured you probably feel a little awkward around a bunch of people you barely know. But the guys are nice, even if they do get a little… flirty with girls. And you wouldn’t have come along if you didn’t want to socialise, right?”

“Actually,” Adora shrugged, “I came along because I wasn’t feeling great and Adam wanted to help take my mind off things.”

“Oh,” Bow hummed, “anything you want to talk about? And I know you don’t really know me, but I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Adora almost laughed. What would she say? That she was realising she had a crush on her only friend, that her aunt’s teasing had given her a superhuman level of delusion that would only end up crushing her, that she knew she’d be alone forever but had hope anyway?

But she saw the earnest, genuine smile on Bow’s face, and wondered if the redacted version would do. “Have you ever liked someone that doesn’t like you back?”

“Honestly, no,” Bow answered, and Adora figured she’d get that response, “I’ve only ever really liked Glimmer, and obviously she liked me back because we’re together. But it sucked when I liked her and didn’t know whether she’d like me back or not. Is that… similar to your situation? Or have you told the person and…?”

He trailed off, like he didn’t want to say got rejected in case it made her feel worse. Really, neither option was applicable. Adora liked someone who probably couldn’t like her back.

“No, I haven’t… spoken to them about it or anything,” Adora said, making sure to choose her words carefully, “but I know that they’d never like me back.”

“How can you be so sure?” Bow asked, “unless they told you they like someone else.”

“It’s kind of like that,” Adora shrugged, “I don’t really know how to describe it. My aunt… tried telling me that they like me back, or at least… that they could, but I don’t know if I believe her.”

“Usually, other people are better at telling than you are,” Bow said kindly, “they don’t have that internal fear or bias that you might have, you know. The only reason I even asked Glimmer out was because Catra basically bonked me on the head and told me to because apparently – quote – we were both being stupid lovesick idiots and she was sick of Sparkles constantly yapping about how in love she was with me.”

Adora found herself smiling without thinking about it. A warm feeling settled in her chest at the sound of Catra’s name, and she laughed softly. “Yeah, that sounds like something she’d say.”

“You guys are friends, right?” Bow asked, and Adora felt her expression turn to one of a deer in headlights. She worried if he’d picked up on anything. “I’ve seen you guys talking before. Maybe tell her about it, and she’ll do the same for you and your crush.”

Yeah, big problem there, she is my crush, Adora felt like saying, but wasn’t impulsive enough to let it slip out. Instead, she just shrugged and answered with a quiet, “yeah, maybe.”

He seemed to get that she was getting uncomfortable with the topic and smiled comfortingly. “Even if things don’t work out this time, I’m sure you’ll find your person eventually. Everyone has one. To be honest, I’m grateful I was one of the lucky ones and I met mine when I was five.”

Adora really wondered what Bow saw in Glimmer. He seemed so nice, and Adora hadn’t exactly had any positive experiences with his girlfriend. But then, Adora figured people would probably wonder that about her with Catra, if there was ever a world where she could be open about it.

But, because she couldn’t help putting her foot in her mouth, she had to ask. “What’s she like? You know, when she’s not in full stay away from my best friend mode?”

Bow smiled knowingly, and Adora figured he’d maybe heard a thing or two about her from Glimmer. “Don’t take her too seriously when she says things like that. She’s fiercely protective over the people she loves. It’s one of the things I love about her, but I get that it can be intimidating.”

“Fierce is one word for it,” Adora muttered under her breath, “I’m guessing you know why she was so bothered about Catra making friends with me?”

“Well, to be honest, it was pretty out of character for her,” Bow said, and clarified, “Catra, I mean. Glimmer thought something might’ve been going on, and Catra kept getting secretive and sneaking off without her. She thought her best friend was pulling away from her, and I guess you’re bound to be worried and freak out when something like that happens.”

“I figured it was something like that,” Adora said, “Catra was pretty annoyed at her for telling me about the whole Lonnie thing.”

Bow winced. “Oh, that. Yeah, it was a really messed up thing for them to do. I don’t want to defend it, obviously, but… they were both fifteen and stupid. They’ve both done a lot of growing up since then. I know Glimmer has.”

Adora hummed. “I’m not trying to trash your girlfriend or anything, but it didn’t seem like it when she was telling me about it.”

“It’s… it’s a complicated situation,” Bow hesitated, “I know she feels bad about it, but… she’s good at acting like she doesn’t care. I’m sorry, I can’t really explain it any more than that.”

Adora frowned, wondering what that meant. “I guess it’s a pretty sensitive topic. I nearly stopped talking to Catra when I found out, because my aunt is gay, and… it just makes me really angry, when people are homophobic.”

“Oh,” Bow said, and Adora wondered if she’d said too much. But then he asked seriously, “you can keep a secret, right?”

Adora nodded. “Of course.”

“My dad… he’s actually—he’s with another man,” Bow explained, “they got together nearly two years ago now. Glimmer’s at my place a lot, and being around them… it’s helped open her mind a lot. It’s helped me too. You’d probably really like her, if you got to know her. She and Catra are a lot alike.”

“Oh,” Adora said, because she hadn’t been expecting that. Obviously, she knew people could change and grow, but when it felt like everyone was always against people like her, she always found it so surprising when there were people that weren’t. “That’s… that’s really cool.”

Bow smiled. “It’s nice meeting people who are accepting. I’d like to think that one day, they won’t have to hide. After all, it’s just love, right? And what could be wrong about that?”

Adora felt herself grinning. Maybe her brother’s stupid plan to drag her to the carnival had helped a little, after all.

“Oh, what the fuck?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “I just won you a fucking teddy bear, what are you complaining about now?”

“That,” Glimmer pointed over to the loud, obnoxious group of teenage boys crowding the hot dog stand, and Catra realised that they were the loud, obnoxious football team.

She almost agreed with Glimmer on the what the fuck statement, but then she actually followed Glimmer’s gaze and caught a flash of blonde hair in that adorably stupid little poof ponytail Adora always wore her hair in.

She was illuminated in the carnival lights, a little mustard on her chin from the hot dog she was eating. She was laughing at something someone had said, and she looked so beautiful that it made Catra’s heart stop for a moment.

Then she realised who the boy making her laugh actually was, and saw Glimmer stalking off towards them, and snapped out of whatever lame, sappy thoughts she was having. She caught up to Glimmer and heard her muttering irritably, “it’s bad enough that she’s stealing my best friend, why the fuck is she trying to steal my boyfriend too?”

“Relax, Sparkles,” Catra said, though she felt the same jealousy that Glimmer was probably feeling when Bow said something else, and Adora laughed at that too, “you can’t blame her for talking to him. He’s the only tolerable guy on that team.”

“Well, he’s my tolerable guy,” Glimmer muttered back, stomping right in front of Adora and pulling Bow in for a kiss despite him behind halfway through a bite of hot dog. She pulled away, wiping the ketchup off her mouth, and said sweetly, “surprised to see you two here together,” in that tone that Catra knew wasn’t actually sweet at all.

“Hey, Glimmer,” Bow smiled, completely oblivious to the daggers she was shooting Adora’s way, “having a good night?”

“I was,” Glimmer said pointedly, “are you ready to come and hang out with me and Catra now?”

Catra, who’d been watching Adora silently, mostly out of amusement at that fish-out-of-water look on her face when Glimmer stormed into the mix, saw the way Adora’s expression changed. She blinked, like the sound of Catra’s name had woken her up, and Catra would totally read into that if she was being delusional.

“Catra’s here?” Adora asked, “where?”

“Right here,” Catra answered, and laughed quietly at the way Adora jumped and looked over at her, “good to know I’m so noticeable.”

“Oh,” Adora’s face settled into a soft smile, and Catra’s heart stuttered, “hi.”

“Hey,” Catra said, “didn’t know you and Bow were friends.”

Glimmer, who was gripping onto Bow like he might phase out of existence if she didn’t, added, “yeah, my best friend not enough for you? You want my boyfriend too?”

Adora looked a little freaked out, and while it may have been amusing to watch play out if it were anyone else, it was Adora. “Down, Sparkles,” Catra rolled her eyes at her, “girls and boys are allowed to be friends.”

“Relax, Glimmer,” Bow smiled, and Catra noted the way Glimmer visibly calmed, “Adora and I just got to talking tonight. Her brother brought her out tonight, because she wanted to take her mind off some stuff. I was telling her how I think you two would actually be pretty good friends.”

Catra’s gaze flicked back to Adora, though it had barely left. While Glimmer whined about… something, honestly, she wasn’t paying much attention, Catra asked, “what’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s… it’s nothing,” Adora said, which meant it clearly wasn’t nothing, “just… stupid, teenage stuff.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to know what that means?”

“I—just… crushes, and stuff,” Adora admitted, the red glow on her cheeks not from the carnival lights, “it’s pretty lame. I guess I was just getting myself down about how I’ve never—never been in a relationship. And sometimes I feel like I never will be.”

“Is it because I’m all doom and gloom about it too?” Catra asked, because Adora was the one who liked cheesy romance movies and how hopeful they were. “Don’t let me get you down. I’m mostly just being dramatic.”

She wasn’t, because with the way things were, she probably wouldn’t get what she wanted. But the thing she wanted was upset, so she was going to fix it.

“No, no, it’s not your fault,” Adora said, and she flashed Catra an earnest smile, “really. I just get in my own head sometimes, you know?”

“I get that,” Catra said, “we’ll go on some rides, and I’ll take your mind off it. And rescue you from those idiots. Seriously, I’m pretty sure spending time with them will rot all your brain cells away.”

Adora laughed but shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You’re here with Glimmer, and I don’t want to give her more reasons to hate me.”

“And she’ll be dragging Bow along,” Catra reasoned, “seriously, don’t make me third wheel that.”

She nodded over to Bow and Glimmer, who were kissing against the side of the hot dog stand, Bow’s hot dog long since dropped on the ground. Adora laughed quietly, “okay. I just have to tell Adam I’m going with you.”

She excused herself over to her brother, and Catra watched after her with a soft smile on her face. Then she remembered that she’s in public and quickly wiped it off, yanking Glimmer off Bow and saying, “Adora’s coming with us. Be fucking nice.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do,” Bow answered before Catra could, “she’s cool, Glimmer.”

Catra wasn’t about to follow that up with some equally or more lame statement about how cool Adora was, so instead she just shrugged and said, “besides, I’m not third wheeling. Either she comes with us, or I go with her.”

“Fine,” Glimmer sighed dramatically, “I guess I’ll play nice.”

“Yeah, you will,” Catra said, and she wondered if this was a good idea after all when she struggled to hold it together as a gentle hand grabbed her arm, and she knew it was Adora.

“Hey,” Adora smiled, and Catra wished nothing more than to hold onto her hand, the way Bow and Glimmer were doing right in front of her. “Which rides do you want to go on? I haven’t been on the tilt-a-whirl yet.”

Glimmer snorted. “She won’t go on that with you. Unless you want her to puke.”

“Fuck off,” Catra scoffed back, “I’d be fine.”

“Oh, you get motion sickness?” Adora said, and before Catra could answer, she smiled and said, “well, that’s fine, we don’t need to go on that, or anything else that would make you sick. How about the Ferris wheel?”

Bow smiled and pulled Glimmer closer to his side. “That’s a good idea.”

“You only think that because you two are going to suck face at the top,” Catra rolled her eyes, and tried not to sound too bitter, but let them lead the way over to the line. It wasn’t too busy – mostly families and couples – and she wondered if it would look weird if she and Adora went on it together.

She glanced around, to see if anyone was watching. She was always so hyperaware of any public interaction she had with a girl, even the ones she wasn’t massively crushing on. Even though she knew nobody would dare say anything to her, there were still a lot of people from school around, and even a joke about it… if she reacted badly, or in the wrong way, god knows what would happen.

She figured everyone was oblivious to her constant scanning of the crowd, especially the one in the line. Bow and Glimmer were busy relentlessly flirting, and while she was usually so in tune to what Adora was doing, her mind was otherwise occupied.

That was why she jumped when Adora grabbed her hand, and she blamed her surprise on the way she practically tore it out of Adora’s grip. “What?” she snapped.

She felt guilty as soon as she saw the anxious, taken-aback expression on Adora’s face. But the look went away as soon as it arrived and was replaced by a gentle smile. “It’s okay if you don’t want to go on. I know it’s pretty slow, but I guess it could still make you sick, right?”

“It’s not that,” Catra said quickly, “this one’s fine.”

“Oh,” Adora frowned, “what is it, then?”

Well, for starters, I have a big gay crush on you, and I’m terrified that it’s entirely obvious to everyone around me, Catra felt like saying, but knew she never would. She was clearly tense, and knew Adora probably wouldn’t believe some bullshit explanation.

(And, she felt bad for snapping at her.)

“It’s like you said,” Catra answered finally, “I get in my own head sometimes.”

Adora, who had clearly noticed the way she’d been looking around, took a sweeping glance around the line. As Bow and Glimmer hopped into a car, and they were ushered forwards, she knew it’d probably look weirder if she ran out of the line.

Catra sealed her fate and slid into the car, Adora close behind her. The worker lowered the lap bar, and they started crawling forwards.

“Are you worried that… you’re going to run into your mom?” Adora asked, and Catra wondered where the fuck that came from until she said, “you kept looking around like you were worried.”

“No,” Catra said honestly, “no, she’d never come here. She’ll be at home, halfway through a bottle of whiskey.”

“Okay,” Adora hummed, that sad look in her eye that Catra always noticed whenever the subject of her mother came up, “what is it, then? You can talk to me.”

She flashed an earnest smile, and after a moment of hesitation, reached out and squeezed her hand. Maybe she was being stupid, but Catra didn’t pull away. Instead, she just wondered if Adora knew how easily she made her cave.

“I guess I just don’t really know how to act,” Catra admitted slowly, “around you and them at the same time.”

It’s kind of the truth. The actual truth would be that Catra was so obsessed with what everyone thought, keeping up the façade, that it terrified her to be around Adora and other people simultaneously. That either someone would clock the thoughts going around Catra’s head, or Catra would be the reckless idiot that she usually was around Adora, and she’d give into stupid impulses and kiss her at the top of the Ferris wheel like she really wanted.

Adora smiled, always the fucking optimist. “Then don’t act. Just be yourself.”

“Not a chance,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I told you, I’m too far gone.”

The Ferris wheel ground to a halt. They weren’t at the top yet, maybe two-thirds of the way, but it was still high up. Something about looking down at the carnival lights, with Adora’s hand still in hers, made Catra wish she hadn’t done this to herself.

What would things be like, if she’d never cared? Would she still worry about what people thought, about people finding out? She probably would; the world at large was not an accepting place, and god forbid if anything got back to her mother. But she thought that if things did get out, if someone somehow found out that she liked girls and told everyone, she’d probably made things so much worse for herself.

In her climb to the top of the social ladder, she’d stabbed a lot of people in the back. Said and done some horrible things and made a lot of enemies who’d love a chance to get back at her. If she’d never cared so much about control, if she’d been barely a blip on the social radar, would anyone really care if it got out?

After all, nobody really bothered Lonnie anymore. At first, yeah, but now everyone left her to her own devices. Catra doubted it would go the same way for her. Lonnie was never mean to anyone, somehow managing to be popular and in control but nice at the same time.

It was one of the things that Catra had really liked about her. One of the things that had made her fall for her. She’d never understood why Lonnie kissed her that day. Never knew what she saw in her.

She’d be lying if she didn’t say she still resented Glimmer sometimes, for coming back that day. She never could’ve known what was happening – Catra barely even knew – but she still resented her for it. More than that, though, she resented herself, for being such a coward.

She wondered if somehow, someway, Adora was like her, and they were caught… she hoped she’d be brave enough to take the fall, regardless of the consequences.

“Hey,” Adora squeezed her hand and pulled Catra back to reality, “what’re you thinking about?”

“Life,” Catra shrugged her off, because she wasn’t going to tell Adora any of that, “what’re you thinking about?”

Adora laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re not so slick with the subject change, but I’ll let you off. Honestly, I was thinking about you.”

“What?” Catra let it slip out before she could think.

Adora looked away from her, but she still didn’t let go of Catra’s hand. “I just think you’re so much better than you give yourself credit for.”

“Or you’re delusional,” Catra said sharply, ignoring the way the words had given her butterflies in her tummy, “and you’re just making excuses because I’m nice to you.”

“You’re real with me, though,” Adora shrugged, looking back at her. She looked her up and down, and Catra felt entirely exposed under her gaze. “I mean, looking at you right now, you don’t even really look like you. And I know that doesn’t make much sense, but…”

“It does,” Catra said quietly, uncomfortably smoothing out the skirt she was wearing and absolutely hated, “sometimes I wish I’d never done it all, you know? Doesn’t help that I’m fucking freezing in this stupid outfit.”

Shifting in the lap bar, Adora pulled off the hoodie she was wearing and offered it out. “Here. I’d be a bad friend if I let you freeze to death.”

Catra hesitated, but naturally couldn’t help herself. She pulled Adora’s hoodie on, and it was probably just some kind of psychological hallucination, but she already felt warmer. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Adora smiled, as the Ferris wheel started turning again. It moved just a little, bringing them to the very top. The lights from the carnival lit her up in a way that made Catra want to say fuck it, throw everything away, and kiss her.

She didn’t. She’d never be that stupid.

“You don’t have to keep faking it, you know,” Adora said quietly, squeezing her hand, “especially if it’d make you happier to stop.”

“Sparkles already thinks I’m going insane,” Catra answered dryly, “I think she’d spontaneously combust into a cloud of glitter if I quit cheer and showed up to school in my ripped jeans and metal band shirts.”

“So?” Adora said, like it really made no sense to her, why Catra made herself so miserable, “it’s your life, not hers. And… you’d always have me, even if everyone else ditched you.”

Catra didn’t know if she was being gullible for believing her.

Adora wanted to take Catra’s hand again.

They’d held hands all throughout the Ferris wheel ride, and on the rollercoaster, though that was mostly because she was a little terrified of rollercoasters.

Catra had let her, both times, yet the moment they were off the rides, she’d drop Adora’s hand immediately. Like it would be a problem if someone saw. Like someone could make an assumption about them, an assumption that terrified Catra. And why would that bother her so much?

As she walked along with Catra, Bow and Glimmer, she kept noticing the way Catra would watch them. It had an air of bitterness about it, every time they’d hold hands or pull one another in for a kiss, the way Catra’s eyes would narrow, or she’d roll them. Like she was angry that she couldn’t do that.

If Adora hadn’t had that conversation with Bow earlier, she’d have thought that maybe Catra liked him. But according to him, she was the one who told him to ask Glimmer out. Why would she have done that, if she’d wanted him for herself?

After everything that Mara and Hope had said after meeting her, and the way Catra had been acting tonight, Adora wondered if maybe they were right. It didn’t help that Adora had been pushing boundaries, at least a little bit, but she really liked the way Catra looked in her hoodie.

God, was she being crazy, or could Catra actually be like her?

“Alright, we’re going on the tilt-a-whirl,” Bow said, nodding towards the line. It wasn’t too busy, and even though Adora wanted to go on it, she knew Catra wouldn’t, “Adora, are you coming with us?”

She must’ve looked unsure, because Catra bumped elbows with her and said, “you can go on it with them. I won’t keel over and die if I’m left alone for ten minutes.”

Adora looked over at Bow and Glimmer again, and Glimmer didn’t look like she wanted an awkward third wheel on the ride with her. Besides, Adora would rather have a little time with Catra on her own – maybe she’d stop being so tense.

“No, that’s okay,” Adora said, and on a moment of impulse, she added, “I’d rather play that darts game over there.”

“Okay,” Glimmer said quickly, before Bow could try to convince her to come on, “we’re probably going to head home after this,” she added with a smirk, and Adora really didn’t need to know what that meant, “Catra, call me when you get home so I know you’re not dead.”

“I won’t, but sure,” Catra shrugged, “later.”

Adora watched as Glimmer pulled Bow towards the tilt-a-whirl, and then glanced over at the darts stall. “Come on, let’s play.”

It might’ve been stupid, but she offered a hand out to Catra. She didn’t expect her to take it. “Alright. You really could’ve gone on it with them, you know.”

“I know,” Adora said, “but I’d rather hang out with you.”

She pulled Catra over to the stall, and had to let go of her hand as she pulled a couple of dollars out of her pocket to exchange for some darts. The guy manning the stall explained the rules in a bored tone – pop three green balloons and win a prize – and Adora nodded, readying her first dart.

“Should I stand back?” Catra said sarcastically, “I don’t know if I trust you with pointy objects.”

“Wow, thanks for the faith in me,” Adora laughed, aiming the first dart and sinking it right into one of the green balloons. “Still worried?”

Catra laughed quietly, but she stayed close to Adora’s side and watched as the second dart popped a second green balloon. “Okay, maybe I spoke too soon.”

“Maybe you did,” Adora smiled. She threw the last dart, and the third green balloon popped. She smirked triumphantly, and pointed to the prize she wanted. “I’ll take that teddy bear, please,” she said to the guy manning the stall.

He passed her the one she’d picked out, and Adora immediately held it out to Catra. “For you.”

Catra looked at the teddy bear in surprise. It was rare to see – Adora figured it was hard to catch Catra off guard. She didn’t reach out to take it, and instead asked quietly, “really?”

“Yeah,” Adora smiled, “I’ve got Scooby at home, I can’t cheat on him with this guy, regardless of how cute he is. Don’t act like you’re too cool for a teddy bear, either. You always cuddle my Scooby Doo.”

Catra rolled her eyes fondly, reaching out and taking the bear. “Tell anyone that, and I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll do something.”

Adora just laughed. “I know that’s an empty threat.”

“Whatever,” Catra said, but she didn’t deny it in the slightest. “Are we going home, then, or do we have to wait around for your stupid brother?”

“We can go whenever,” Adora said, “I don’t have the car, though. I got a ride with him and one of his friends.”

“That’s fine,” Catra shrugged, “I don’t mind the walk. Actually, I could… show you some stars, if you want. If you don’t mind a detour.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adora nodded, “I’d love that, actually.”

“If you could go to any planet in our solar system, which one would you pick?”

It was a random question, entirely out of nowhere. They’d been walking for the last fifteen minutes, and had just started up the slope to the clifftops. The walk had been spent in a mostly comfortable silence, and Catra had felt herself relaxing more and more the further away from the carnival they got. Right now, she was relaxed enough to let herself hold Adora’s hand and not worry about it.

Catra shrugged in response. “Tell me your answer first.”

Adora hummed in thought. “I don’t know. Maybe Jupiter. Imagine inviting someone over and your house is on Jupiter.”

“Well… you couldn’t,” Catra laughed quietly, “Jupiter doesn’t have a surface. They’d just fall through brutal gas clouds and die of radiation poisoning.”

“Oh, okay,” Adora laughed, “just because you’re so smart, you have to crush my hopes and dreams, do you?”

“Yeah,” Catra shrugged, “guess I do.”

“What’s your answer then?” Adora asked. “Since you wanted to bully my choice so badly.”

“Honestly, I only asked you to tell me first because I was going to say I’d go there too,” Catra laughed, “but I couldn’t help correcting you. I’d go to Pluto.”

“Okay,” Adora hummed, frowning, and then admitted, “I don’t know enough about space to make fun of your choice too, so instead… why Pluto?”

“It’s as far away as I can get from here,” Catra shrugged, and her answer was entirely honest, “it’s like… four billion miles away, or something like that. And it actually has a surface, so I guess I could build a little house. It’d be kind of cold, though. It’s basically a floating ball of ice. At least I wouldn’t need AC.”

“Okay, so anyone who wants to visit you just freezes to death,” Adora laughed, “nice welcome for your house guests.”

“I’m moving four billion miles away,” Catra rolled her eyes, “it’s pretty easy to assume I don’t want visitors.”

“Ouch,” Adora said, “good to know where I stand.”

“Well, you’re already dead from radiation poisoning from your little trip to Jupiter,” Catra pointed out, “there’s nobody else I want to come over.”

She wondered if saying that was too much – honestly, sometimes she felt like she was getting too obvious with her feelings – but you could say stuff like that to your best friend, right? Catra wasn’t entirely sure, since she didn’t think she’d ever had a normal friendship.

She figured she was just working off gut instinct and stupidity when it came to Adora, and one of these days it would bite her in the ass.

Hopefully not today.

“Okay, just up here,” Catra said before Adora could reply, tugging her up the last bit of incline to the flat, grassy clifftop. “Wait here.”

It was the highest place in Bright Moon, and the one with the least light pollution. Catra used to frequent it often, when she was staying out of the house until she was sure her mother had passed out drunk. She hadn’t come up recently, Adora’s house being the more attractive option, and she’d never brought anybody with her before.

She went behind the bushes and grabbed the blanket she’d stashed – one time she came up after rain and ended up going home covered in mud – and laid it out, then flopped down on it and looked up at the stars.

Adora joined her, mimicked her position, laying flat on her back and staring into the night sky. Catra wanted to reach over and take her hand, but she wasn’t sure if she was brave enough for that.

They were quiet for a while, looking up, until Adora broke the silence with, “so, what exactly am I looking at here?”

Catra laughed quietly. “Stars. Planets. The sky.”

“Well, duh,” Adora rolled her eyes and pushed herself up onto an elbow. She was looking down at Catra with a soft smile on her face, “I meant the specifics. Like… where’s Pluto?”

“You can’t see it with the naked eye, you need a telescope, and a fucking powerful one,” Catra said, “even then, I’m not sure it’d be that bright. You can only see Mercury through to Saturn with your eyes, and it depends on the time of year. Like right now, it’s pretty cool, because Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are all out. Mercury is around in the early mornings.”

Adora sat up and tilted her head up to the sky, “even though I don’t know what’s what, it’s still really beautiful.”

Catra propped herself up onto an elbow, watching Adora more than the stars. “Yeah. It is,” she said quietly, then realised how fucking cheesy that was and pushed herself up to sit. She shuffled a little closer to Adora, but slightly behind her, and pointed up at a particular point. “Okay, you see that? The one that has kind of a faint red glow about it? That’s Mars.”

Adora hummed. “Isn’t that the planet of love?”

“That’s Venus,” Catra snorted. “Mars is the planet of war, actually.”

“Oh,” Adora paused, laughed, and said, “well, you said Venus was out right now. Where is it?”

Catra turned, checking a couple of the constellations that she knew, and finding it over to their left, low in the sky. “Over there. Then Jupiter and Saturn are actually pretty close – that big bright one over that way, higher up, is Jupiter, and then Saturn is just below it, a little dimmer.”

“I guess we can’t bully Saturn for that, it’s doing its best,” Adora said, “at least it’s trying to be visible, unlike Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.”

“Hey, Pluto can’t help it, it’s only tiny,” Catra shrugged, “it’d be cool to see it, though. I don’t know if I like it the most because it’s so far away, but I guess it’s a running theme with me, because my favourite constellation is Andromeda. And that’s mostly just because that’s where the Andromeda galaxy is.”

“Galaxy?” Adora squinted up at the sky like new planets were about to show up, “where?”

“So, this constellation right here,” Catra said, deciding fuck boundaries and reaching around Adora’s waist, shifting them slightly to the right and pointing over her shoulder, “shaped kind of like an upside down person, with more light behind it? That’s a different galaxy. It’s slowly getting closer to us, and I’m pretty sure scientists think that in like, a couple billion years, it’ll collide with our galaxy.”

“Cool,” Adora said, and she sounded like she genuinely did think that was really cool, despite the probably cataclysmic results, “hey, weird question – okay, maybe not so weird since we’re talking about space – but do you believe in aliens?”

“Yeah,” Catra answered, “I mean, the universe is fucking huge. Like, so big we can’t even really comprehend it. We’ve already discovered a fuck ton of galaxies and planets, and there’s probably billions more out there that we haven’t found. There’s got to be at least one out there with intelligent life.”

Adora hummed. “Do you think they’d be friendly?”

“I don’t know,” Catra shrugged, “in some ways, if they’re from that far away and they’re that advanced that they find us, surely they’ve got to be smart enough to have figured out world peace on their planet. But at the same time, think about every time in our history where people ‘discovered’ new places. Generally, they’d come in, kill off the indigenous population, and take over. I guess it’s a coin flip.”

“Yeah,” Adora sighed, flopping back against the blanket and looking up at the sky again, “I guess it’s crazy to wonder if aliens would be nice to us when there’s so much hatred in our own species.”

“Who knows,” Catra laid back next to her, “maybe they’d fix things. Or maybe they’d think jesus christ, this place is insane and get the fuck out. I mean, if it’s some super advanced species, they’d probably think we’re so dumb for hating other people of our species for petty reasons like skin colour or gender or sexual orientation. I mean, even I think we’re dumb, and I’m one of us. If the aliens do land, I might ask to go with them.”

“Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m an alien,” Adora admitted, and after a few moments of silence, she added, “I guess I just… never really felt like I fit in with everyone else, you know?”

“Yeah,” Catra hummed, because she felt that more than anything, “I know. Me too.”

“But hey,” Adora turned to her and flashed a smile, and Catra felt Adora’s hand take her own, “I fit in with you. So I guess being stranded on Earth is okay.”

“I don’t know,” Catra shrugged, pretending like her heart wasn’t about to burst out of her chest, “I still think my igloo on Pluto looks pretty good.”

When Catra chanced a look over at Adora, she was already watching her, smiling. “I know you don’t mean that.”

“I really do,” Catra said, and after a moment’s hesitation, she added, “but I guess I’d let you visit. Maybe once every Plutonian year.”

Adora laughed. “Do I want to know how long a year is on Pluto?”

“Maybe not,” Catra snorted quietly, “fine, if I have to, I’ll stay on Earth.”

Adora grinned. “You know, you can just say you like me without all the fanfare. I already know.”

No, I can’t, Catra thought, because when I say I like you, I don’t mean it as just friends, and I’m scared you’ll figure that out. So instead, she replied with an eye roll and a teasing, “I don’t know where you got that idea from. I’m just hanging around for the free accommodation.”

Adora smirked like she knew something more. “Sure. I totally believe you. I like you too, though.”

No, you don’t, not the way I want you to.

It was with that sobering thought that she tore her gaze away from Adora, and looked back up to the stars.