Work Text:
Christopher: I’ll wait up for you
Eddie: We’re not gonna be home until late. Midnight probably. Go to bed.
Christopher: Midnight is not late dad
Eddie shakes his head and slides his phone across the small table to Buck. Buck picks it up wordlessly and frowns at the screen. He leans over and whispers, “Do you want me to text him?”
“Buck, I’m his dad. He needs to listen to me.”
“Yeah, but I’m his Buck.” Buck gives Eddie that grin that always makes Eddie smile too.
“You two queers in the front, am I not entertaining enough?” Eddie freezes, looking back up at the stage in front of them. He’d almost forgotten where they were, too preoccupied with getting Chris to go to bed. The comedian on the stage, Ashley, stares at them expectantly.
Buck raises his hands innocently, “Sorry.”
Ashley leans forward, using her free hand to block the stage lights from her eyes, and peers at them. “No, something’s going on here. What’s so interesting?”
“Kid wants to wait up for us. Trying to get him in bed.” Eddie says, shaking his phone.
“Aw, cute. Wants to wait up for his daddies on their date night.”
Eddie’s eyes go wide, “No! No, we’re not together.”
Ashley narrows her eyes, “What’s your name, mustache?”
“Um, Eddie.”
“And you?”
“I’m Buck.”
“And you have a kid together, but you’re not together?”
Buck chuckles, “No, Chris is just his. I’m just- we’re best friends.”
“Two gay best friends who are having a totally platonic conversation about getting their- sorry, his- kid to bed? And you’re not in love with each other?” Ashley asks. The crowd laughs.
Eddie shakes his head, he and Buck laughing too hard to correct her.
Yeah, imagine that; Eddie and Buck… in love with each other.
“What?” She raises a brow, “Don’t tell me you’re not gay.”
Eddie puts his hands up apologetically, shaking his head again.
“Wow, sorry for assuming, most of my fans are gay. I mean, I’m- look at me,” She gestures to her admittedly very stereotypically lesbian outfit and the crowd laughs again.
“I’m recently bi!” Buck says. And Eddie’s chest swells with pride. Whether or not he realizes it, Buck just came out to an entire crowd. And the internet. Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if this is being recorded and ends up on a crowd work page. That’s how Buck discovered this comedian anyway: endless TikToks he sent to Eddie of her crowd work. She seemed hilarious, so Eddie surprised Buck with tickets to her LA show.
Ashley’s eyes widen like a kid in a candy store, “Recently bi? ‘Oh, I’m only gay recently!’ I’m just teasing. So recently? You’re a baby gay!” Eddie looks over and catches Buck blushing. “How’d you figure it out? It was mustache here, right? I mean, I’m a lesbian but that is one hell of a man.” Eddie laughs into his hand, he’d heard that Hen had said something similar when she first saw him.
“I was jealous of his friend—my ex-boyfriend now, Tommy. I broke his ankle trying to get his attention.”
“You broke Tommy’s ankle and then dated him? Damn, you’ve got game, beefcake.”
“No, I broke Eddie’s ankle.”
Ashley narrows her eyes again, “You broke Eddie’s ankle trying to get Tommy’s attention? Are you sure about that? Sounds like you were trying to get someone else’s attention…”
The crowd oohs and laughs.
“Hey man, did you see me break my ‘best friend’s’ ankle? That was for you, let’s go out!” Ashley mocks, buffing herself up to imitate Buck. “How long have you two known each other?
Buck seems to have gotten shy, so Eddie answers, “Going on seven years.”
“Wow,” Ashley nods, “That’s the difference between gay men and lesbians. Lesbians need seven seconds to fall in love, gay men need seven years.” Ashley puts her hand up, “Sorry, sorry, you’re not in love or together, you just talk about how to parent your kid, go on date nights to a queer comedian, and break bones for each other.”
Eddie attempts to swallow a lump in his throat that’s begun to build. Ashley doesn’t even know the half of it. The things they’ve done with each other, for each other.
“You’re making a face like that’s not even the tip of the iceberg,” Ashley smirks, looking at Buck now. Eddie glances over and finds Buck smiling in that oddly contagious way.
“I had to be held back from digging with my bare hands to find him.”
And, what?
Buck did what?
“Why the hell did you have to dig for him?!” Ashley asks, flabbergasted.
“He got buried while saving a kid from a well.”
Her eyes widen again and Eddie has to interject, “We’re firefighters. Part of the job.”
“Gay firefighters?! This is the best day of my life!” The crowd cheers and Eddie sees Buck try to fight off another blush.
“Not gay,” Eddie says back.
“Let me ask you this, mustache, whose idea was this date night?”
“It’s complicated. He’s the fan but I bought the tickets.” It only then occurred to Eddie to deny the date night allegation.
Ashley nods like it all makes sense now and points to Eddie, “Sugar daddy,” then she points to Buck, “Pillow princess. I’ve clocked it.”
The crowd erupts with laughter and clapping. Eddie himself can’t hold back his mirth. Then he looks at Buck again and if they didn’t work with literal firetrucks, Buck might be the reddest thing Eddie’s ever seen.
But he’s smiling so Eddie won’t snap at the comedian just yet.
“Alright, let’s leave the firefighters alone, they’ve got joint custody of a kid who needs to go to bed. How old is this kid?”
“Almost 14,” Buck answers.
“Oh, dude, let him stay up. He’s going to anyway. Alright, you guys enjoy the rest of the show, thanks for letting me fuck with you. Big round of applause for the not gay firefighters.” Ashley sets the mic back on the stand and the crowd claps politely. She takes a sip of water and picks the show back up.
It’s funny, Eddie is sure because Buck is laughing, but he’s not really paying attention anymore.
It was just a stupid comedy routine. That’s all it was. But it has Eddie second-guessing everything he knows.
Eddie never even for a second thought he was gay. He grew up in a catholic family in Texas, it wasn’t an idea that had even a nanosecond to materialize.
But then… he’s never been the smoothest with women.
Not that that has to mean anything.
But also, none of it really meant anything.
Of course, each of the women he’s been with have meant something to him, but not in a real way. The closest thing he had to real was Shannon and they were always a mess anyway.
===
“This was great. Thank you so much for getting the tickets, Eddie.” Buck grins once they’re in the Uber home.
“Oh, no problem.” Eddie nods, still a little out of it. “I had fun too.”
“Spoken like a true sugar daddy.”
Eddie nearly chokes on his own spit. Buck pats him on the back, laughing once he knows Eddie is okay.
“Oh, that was gold,” Buck is beaming at him. “I can’t believe we got crowd worked! That was so cool.”
“Yeah, it was really… funny.” It was funny when she turned Eddie’s world upside down? Took his sense of normalcy and beat it like a dead horse?
“You’re not upset, right? That she, y’know, thought you were gay?” Buck is asking with so much nervousness that Eddie can do nothing but insist it’s fine.
“No, no, of course not! That doesn’t bother me at all. I think I’m just tired.”
“Right,” Buck nods, looking out the window. He looks back at Eddie, “Again, thank you. I’ve never been to a standup comedy show before.”
“Yeah, me neither. Unless a middle school talent show counts.”
Buck laughs, “I don’t think it does.”
“Then I’ve never been either.”
“Look at us, sharing firsts.”
Eddie’s mind definitely doesn’t immediately pull up other types of firsts. Like a Google autofill, he types in “first” and the suggested searches are “dates”, “kisses”, “sexual encounters”…
Nope, definitely not. His brain definitely doesn’t do that.
“Oh, we’re home!” Buck cheers and Eddie wonders how many drinks they had at the show.
They unlock the door and find Chris on the couch playing that fighting game he and Buck love so much.
“Hey Dad, hey Buck,” He says, not even sparing a look their way. Can’t take his eyes off the game.
Eddie watches as Buck messes up Chris’ hair from behind the couch. “I’m going to kick your butt next.”
Eddie’s supposed to tell him no, because Chris is supposed to be in bed, but all he can do right now is stare. What is he supposed to do when his world is crumbling around him?
It’s nowhere near as bad as other incidents in his life, this one is far more internal, but still…
He looks over to find Buck giving him a worried glance.
Buck clears his throat, “Actually, Chris, I think you should get to bed. It’s late. I’ll play you tomorrow.”
Chris sighs disappointedly, “Buck, please?”
Buck looks at Eddie for help. “Sorry buddy, I think your dad would be pretty upset with me.”
“Dad?” Chris looks at him, begging with his eyes.
Eddie realizes he’s supposed to say something now. Probably supposed to tell him to go to bed. Supposed to play the bad guy. Good cop, bad cop. That’s how he and Buck usually handle it. Why is Buck a part of the routine? Why is Buck practically co-parenting his child?
Scratch that, Buck is literally co-parenting his child. He takes Chris out at least a few times a month just the two of them. When Chris was younger it was usually the zoo, or the aquarium, or the beach. Now it’s usually the arcade or that store with all the games in it that Eddie swears Chris spends his entire allowance at. And even earlier tonight…
“Buck, I’m his dad. He needs to listen to me.”
“Yeah, but I’m his Buck.”
“Eddie?” Buck says carefully. Eddie snaps back into the moment.
“One game. And then bed.” He gives in, too preoccupied with his own mind to argue.
It’s like this comedian… she took Eddie’s bag of perfectly sized and not at all too jagged rocks and shook them up until they eroded down to smooth little pebbles. Pebbles that Eddie is staring at, so perfectly shiny, and catching his own warped reflection. It’s warped but it’s like for the first time he’s seeing himself clearly…
While Buck and Chris play probably three or four rounds of their game, Google leads Eddie down the rabbit hole of something called “comphet”.
Compulsory heterosexuality.
And fuck.
“The theory that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon people by a patriarchal, allonormative, and heteronormative society.”
There are words that Eddie then has to Google on their own.
After fifteen minutes, Eddie figures that if- and that’s a big if- he’s gay, he has been involved with women his whole romantic life because he didn’t know there were other options.
Which, of course he knew there were other options but they weren’t options for him. Not with his family, not in Texas. And by the time he left Texas, it had already been ingrained into him.
But fuck if it isn’t suspicious that he married the first girl he dated, kissed, slept with, knocked up.
He loved Shannon, right? That couldn’t have been a lie.
Maybe he just lied to himself about how he loved her. Maybe it was never in that way.
He despises the idea that his child wasn’t born from love because just look at Christopher. That boy is Eddie’s entire world. He is Eddie’s definition of love and joy.
Maybe he was born from love, just a different kind. He loved Shannon, he did. They were best friends before anything else.
But now he’s best friends with Buck and he never felt this way about a best friend before. He doesn’t know how to describe it, feels like he can barely even begin to put a word to it, but he knows it’s… different. Special.
Is he…?
Has he always been…?
Is Buck…?
He can’t do this right now. Not while Buck is playing video games with his son.
Eddie stands, looking at his boys. Looking at Buck and Chris. “Hey, I think that’s enough. Time for bed. It’s…” Eddie looks down at his watch, “Almost 1 o’clock.”
Shit, has Eddie really been freaking out for half an hour?
“Ten more minutes, Dad.” Chris doesn’t whine when he says it. He’s 14 now, he doesn’t whine. Instead, he says it like it’s a given, like Eddie will obviously let them play longer. He has been pretty lenient since Texas, so he almost caves, almost lets them.
But he can’t right now. He needs to be alone with his thoughts, needs the house quiet.
“Listen to your dad, Chris, it’s late,” Buck says for Eddie, the way your co-parent speaks. Like I don’t know, ask your mom or your dad said so or your mother and I are very disappointed in you.
God, they really have been co-parenting Chris. Buck is in Eddie’s will for fucks sake.
“Buck, please?” Chris does whine just a little this time after Buck pauses the game. Chris speaks to him like he’s a parent too.
Eddie can’t handle the idea of Buck being the bad guy to Christopher right now so he puts his foot down. “Hey, no, none of that. You’ve played long enough, it’s time for bed. Let’s go, get changed and brush your teeth.”
With a groan, Chris finally puts down the controller and gets off the couch. Buck stands up and turns off the console, putting the controllers back. Once Chris is out of the room, Buck turns to Eddie. “Sorry about that, I shouldn’t have played so many rounds with him. That’s my bad.”
“It’s fine, I was distracted.” Eddie shrugs. Buck nods.
“Yeah, I noticed. You seem to have been distracted all night, honestly. Is there something going on?”
Eddie’s not sure what takes over him but he finds himself asking, “Can I try something?” and stepping a little closer into Buck’s space.
Buck’s eyes widen the slightest bit, Eddie almost doesn’t catch it but he’s just too attuned to Buck’s… everything… to miss it.
“Um, I- sure, man, whatever you want.”
And fuck if those words aren’t the best thing Eddie’s ever heard. Whatever you want. It gives Eddie some more encouragement. So, he takes the final step forward and brings his hands up to Buck’s face, letting them cup his jaw softly.
Eddie watches Buck’s eyes flicker to his lips before fluttering closed, his own lips parting slightly.
Eddie’s doing this, he’s going to do this. He can do this. He can kiss his best friend who he’s been co-parenting his son with, who he spends all his time with, who he held at death, who he’s- quite frankly- in love with. Possibly has been for the past seven years.
He’s going to kiss him.
“Dad!” Christopher’s voice stops him in his tracks, calling out from the bathroom. Eddie jumps backward, putting space between him and Buck again. His heart is racing, he’s terrified of getting caught. Not that they’re doing anything wrong but… with their history- his and Christopher’s- he’d rather not be seen kissing the only other parental figure Chris has. “We’re almost out of toothpaste!”
The air is charged, tension sharp as a knife. Buck is looking at Eddie like his world’s just been turned upside down. Eddie can relate.
“Dad? Did you hear me?” Chris pokes his head out into the hall.
Eddie realizes he’s supposed to say something back now.
“Did you check under the sink?”
“Yes.”
Eddie’s almost certain that he didn’t and that if he went and looked himself, he’d find an extra tube of toothpaste, but he doesn’t care right now.
“I’ll get more tomorrow.”
“There’s definitely enough in here for a few more brushes, so don’t rush.” Chris disappears back into the bathroom, but calls back out a second later, “You two can kiss now.”
Eddie scratches his ear nervously, looking back at Buck. Buck is smiling, big and cheesy.
“So…” Eddie starts. Buck nods, encouraging him, “I guess the whole… crowd work thing got me thinking.”
“About us and how compatible we are?” Buck says it very matter-of-factly.
“How long have you known?”
“Eddie, hun, I’ve been in love with you for years. Took me until Tommy and I broke up to realize it though.”
“So you’ve known.” Eddie nods.
“And you’ve only just realized.”
“I just spent the past half hour googling and I found something called compulsory heterosexuality-”
“Comp-het, I’m aware. And you think that’s you?” Buck is patient, not pushing or making Eddie do or say anything before he’s ready.
“I think. I think I’m… gay. And also…” Eddie swallows the lump in his throat.
“And also…” Buck waits.
“And also, I love you.”
The smile that grows on Buck’s face is the best thing Eddie’s ever seen. How has he been so oblivious?
“You’ll be pleased to hear that I love you too.”
“That’s good.” Eddie nods.
“Oh my god, kiss already!” Chris yells from the bathroom, voice garbled from toothpaste in his mouth.
Buck laughs and god, Eddie loves it. Loves him.
So he does it. He finally does it.
He kisses his best friend.
And for the first time, it feels right.