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This was her shot. She has the shot.
The person who had cause her and so many such fear, left so much devastation in her path, was locked in her gaze.
Just her iconography - the blue braids, manically assembled guns, cursed monkey drawings - made her blood curdle. Seeing her now, in the flesh, made the edges of Caitlyn’s brain freeze over in mind numbing rage.
There was a child there. She was covering Jinx’s head with her body, shielding her. She couldn’t hurt a child—
She never missed, she reminded herself. She can kill Jinx now, and no one else will be hurt.
The only thing keeping her from pulling the trigger was the woman before her, face to face with Jinx but hesitant to deliver the final blow because of the kid. With her vibrant hair, soothing eyes and the sad set of her mouth, once again, Vi was the one person that could stop Caitlyn from doing what was necessary.
The last time she let that voice guide her, the Council building was bombed. Her entire world was changed, flipped off it’s axis in a matter of days.
“Vi, move”. Caitlyn’s voice didn’t reach her ears. Had it, she would’ve been shocked to hear the anger in her tone; even more so that they were directed at Vi.
“Cait, she’s a CHILD,” Vi implored as she got off the platform. She didn’t immediately move out of Caitlyn’s way, opting to stay in the direct path of the rifle as she approached her. Grey eyes bore into her blue.
Her blue that had met the god awful fuchsia of Jinx’s. The person who’d kidnapped her from her own home when she was at her most vulnerable. Who’d mercilessly picked at her brain for god knows how long, trying to find the perfect detail to torment both herself and the woman she was sure she’d fallen for.
“Move,” she repeated, more impassioned. “She’s not getting away again,” she vowed.
“Cait.” Vi’s voice was an urge, a desperate plea, for her to hear her through her rage. She fought to stay within Caitlyn’s gaze, trying to ground her. But the anger was so blinding, it made her head go to static so she could only focus on the goal before her.
Stop Jinx.
Kill Jinx.
“Move!” She barely gave the warning before shooting over Vi’s shoulder, aiming for a spot on Jinx’s neck not currently protected by the kid. She recognized the sound of the shot ringing out, but only focused on the fact that Jinx was still alive and breathing. Meanwhile, her mother was dead. Gazing at a pristine headstone was the closest she’d ever get to seeing her face again.
She couldn’t bring herself to remember that thousands had suffered a similar fate, Jinx and Vi included. She didn’t register how close her bullet had been to hitting the child, or how Vi flinched as it skidded past her gauntlets. A voice in the back of her head screamed at her, cursing her that she nearly hit Vi, but the ringing in her ears was taking over. Vi could see it to, judging by the look of sadness and worry that overtook her expression.
She couldn’t see or focus on anything else other than Jinx through her gun’s scope. The only feelings coursing through her veins were totaling fear, anger, and grief. They were compelling her to take the shot.
But Vi was still in front of her, right in the range of her gun, of her bullet. Her head was spinning so fast, she couldn’t think straight. The only things she knew she could do was aim and fire.
“MOVE!” Her finger pressed down, preparing to unload her bullet into the person who had already taken so much from her; who had the power to take the most important things - the most important people - she had left.
But she couldn’t risk shooting Vi-
She’s fast, she’ll move out of the way-
She can’t hurt Vi-
If she doesn’t stop Jinx, countless others will be hurt-
She isn’t a killer-
She’s RIGHT THERE, she can’t let her get away again-
“CAIT!”
BANG.
The cavern was silent. The heavy breathing of its inhabitants was the only source of noise. Dumbfounded, Caitlyn stared at her gun. The blue metal of Vi’s gauntlets grasped the weapon’s barrel, gripping it tightly. The muzzle was angled down; she had been trying to move the gun out of its path.
Caitlyn dragged her eyes up to Vi’s face, anger brewing under her skin and threatening to spill over. All too quickly, however, her blood turned to ice when she saw Vi’s face.
Her mouth was open and her breaths were tremulous, shakier than if they had just been caused by adrenaline. Her eyes were wide set in shock, staring back at Caitlyn in something looking like shock, mortification, and… was that pain?
Caitlyn’s brows furrowed as the two women looked at the weapon between them. Her knuckles were white as she clutched the gun in a death grip, carefully pulling it away from Vi’s torso.
This allowed them to see the steady stream of blood flowing from her stomach.
Caitlyn’s heart squeezed so intensely it stole the air from her lungs. She looked frantically between the bullet wound and Vi’s face, which was strewn in obvious pain. “Cait…” Vi’s voice was small as she looked to her imploringly.
Tears stung her eyes as the gun clattered to the floor, falling easily from her now shaking hands. “Vi…”
Blood tricked out of the corner of Vi’s mouth as her skin grew ashen. “Why,” she asked helplessly, making no effort to staunch the blood from her stomach wound.
“I… I-I didn’t mean to…”
Vi’s knees buckled. Her gauntlets clattered to the ground as she pitched forward. Caitlyn lunged, catching her by the shoulders. She was reminded distantly of how Vi had cradled her body at the mansion as she anguished over her mother’s death. Was this how she repaid that kindness, that support? By shooting the woman she loved in the gut?
“Hold on, Vi, hold on.” Caitlyn’s voice trembled as she gently laid Vi on her back. She ripped a piece of her uniform off and pressed the fabric against the wound. She mumbled incoherent apologies as Vi flinched in protest, desperately trying to slow the blood now rapidly flowing onto the cold concrete.
“Why, Cait,” Vi winced, loose tears sliding down her face. “Why would you do this?”
“I didn’t mean to.” Caitlyn shook her head through tears. “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t.” She clasped one of Vi’s hands in her own. “You’re going to be okay, Vi, please be okay...” She didn’t dare pull her eyes away from her face, so she felt rather than saw Vi’s blood soak through the fabric and stain the hand that was still pressed to her wound.
“I’m tired of fighting, Cait.”
“You’ve been fighting your whole bloody life. Please, please keep trying.” She knew it was selfish of her; to beg Vi to hold on. But she couldn’t live with herself knowing she was the one to bring down this wonderful, vibrant, strong woman. “You have to try, Vi.” She reached out and pathetically wiped tears from her cheeks. They mixed with blood in her palm.
“You were the only one.” Vi’s voice was impossibly weak. She stared up at Caitlyn, her face devastatingly vulnerable. Caitlyn was taken aback in realizing just how familiar this expression had become; how foolishly she’d taken it for granted as of late. “You were the only one who hadn’t hurt me.”
“Vi, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Caitlyn pressed her forehead to their joint hands. “I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you, just please stay with me.” She squeezed her eyes shut, sobs racking her body.
Moments later, Vi’s breathing evened out as the already lose hold she had on Caitlyn’s hand gave out. Gasping, Caitlyn’s head shot up as she looked at Vi’s face, to search her eyes. Only her eyes were dark. Those lively eyes that bore into Caitlyn’s in a way that was so distinctly Vi were lacking their spark, their light.
In that moment, staring at Vi’s unmoving body, any semblance of Caitlyn’s remaining sanity cracked. A guttural sound of anguish, one she hadn’t even known she was capable of making, wrenched it’s way from her throat. She flung herself over Vi as she sobbed, clutching the fabric of her uniform. That damn Enforcer uniform. Vi’d never wanted to put it on in the first place; Caitlyn had forced her into this, brought her into this place. If she hadn’t, Vi would still be alive now.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated through sobs, shaking her head against Vi’s cooling body. “I never meant for any of this to happen, I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did.” Her head shot up at Jinx’s words. The girl stood before her now, staring at the two women. Tears trailed silently down the girl’s face, so unlike her normally manic and unpredictable emotions. Any fight in her was drained. She looked numb; no more alive than Vi. “You hurt her. Even when you didn’t shoot her, you hit and left her.”
“I didn’t mean it,” she insisted, sobbing harder, glancing down at Vi’s beautiful, kind face. Her cruel words echoed through her head. ‘It’s her blood in your veins,’ she’d said. “I didn’t mean that, I regretted it as soon as it happened, I didn’t-“
“But you did it.” Jinx’s tone was empty and merciless. Caitlyn looked at her again, no longer feeling any rage for the person standing here now. She was no longer the dangerous vigilante Caitlyn had come to know her as. She instead saw the little sister Vi had fought so tirelessly to protect. “And now look what you’ve done. You’ve killed her.”
“Stop,” she begged, gripping Vi’s body helplessly.
“She’s dead because of you,” Jinx drawled in an empty voice. “She tried so hard to protect you from yourself; to stop you from becoming the worst version of yourself. When all along, she really should’ve been protecting herself from you.”
“Please, stop.” Her tears flowed freely from her eyes and landed on Vi’s empty face. She’d never see that face ablaze with burning emotion again.
“Is this what you’re shooting for?” Jinx stared down apathetically at the sobbing woman. “To kill the people you love?”
“I never meant to hurt anyone.“
“Your recklessness got your mother killed.”
“Stop-“
“Your anger killed Vi-“
“Just stop it, please, stop-“
“Who else are you going to kill, Cait?!” Jinx was yelling now, her voice bouncing off the stone walls surrounding them. “Who else are you going to destroy before you destroy yourself?!”
“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Caitlyn clung to Vi’s lifeless body, her tears burning as Jinx’s voice surrounded her, filling her ears till all she could hear was “CaitlynCaitlynCaitlynCaitlynCaitlynCaitlyn-“
…
“Caitlyn!”
Caitlyn shot up, gasping for air. Her cheeks were flushed from tears and goosebumps raced across her skin.
Her eye frantically darted around, trying to identify her surroundings but unable to process what she was seeing. Her heart was racing, blood rushing so loudly in her ears everything was muffled, as if she was underwater. Her senses had been rendered useless by a rush of totaling fear.
She wasn’t sure how long she was stuck like that - gasping desperately for air yet never receiving enough - but eventually a voice broke through the haze surrounding her, soft and imploring.
“- breathe, just try and breathe, okay?”
She stilled for a moment, her brain moving sluggishly as it tried to process the words.
“I need you to breathe, baby, can you do that?”
Breathe. She could do that, couldn’t she?
She uncertainly inhaled, the action coming out halted and shaky.
“Good job, Cait,” the voice praised. “Keep doing that, okay? Just keep breathing.”
She nodded, repeating the action slowly until her breathing evened out, her senses slowly coming back to her.
She shivered at the cool night air, but she wasn’t in that deserted cavern; she wasn’t in the Undercity. She was in her bedroom at her family home, purple curtains framing her warm bed.
Hands cradled her face, calloused thumbs gently stroking under her eye and along her scar respectively.
A kind face slowly came into focus; blush adorned cheeks, freckles peaking through as a result of time spent Topside.
Soft hair brushed across their face. It was longer than when they’d first met, the peace found since the war allowing for more freedom.
A familiar tattoo; a scar cut bisected it now, but the Roman Numeral remained.
Beautiful grey eyes gazed into hers. They weren’t dull and drained of life as in her nightmare; they were brimming with emotion.
“Cait? Can you hear me?” Vi’s voice, loving and concerned, washed over her, clearing the panicked haze she’d found herself in.
“…Vi?”
“Ya, it’s me, Cupcake.” She smiled reassuringly, running a hand through her hair. “You had a nightmare.”
Caitlyn slowly loosened the death grip she’d had on the bedsheets. Her hands dully ached. “It was just a nightmare,” she whispered to herself, staring at Vi’s face.
“That’s right,” she encouraged, pressing a kiss to Caitlyn’s damp forehead. “You’re home, with me. We’re safe, we’re together.”
Caitlyn wasn’t sure what in Vi’s sentence brought on a new wave of tears, but she didn’t hesitate to bury her face in her girlfriend’s chest, clutching her in a hug.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Vi whispered as she gathered her in her arms. One hand held her shoulders while the other cradled her head; protecting her.
“…She really should’ve been protecting herself from you.” She winced as Jinx’s words from her dream came back to her, making her sob harder.
Vi held her tight, pressing kisses sweetly to the top of her head. She stroked her hair, whispering I love you and and I’m right here and just breathe.
Eventually, her tears subsided. Vi rubbed her back comfortingly. “Better?” Caitlyn exhaled a weak laugh, recognizing the question as rhetorical. They both suffered from vivid nightmares that could cause them to lose hours of sleep, on the worst nights. Still, being cradled in Vi’s warmth did help, so she nodded.
“Do you want to talk about it,” she questioned tentatively. Caitlyn whimpered, receiving another kiss. “That was a stupid question,” Vi admitted. “But it’ll help.”
Caitlyn sighed, considering. Shame and fear weighed heavily on her chest, and she couldn’t decide if telling Vi would elevate or exasperate it.
Vi cradled her face, pulling her up to meet her gaze. The pale light from the moon outside made her eyes shine. “You can talk to me, Cait,” she reminded her.
Sighing, Caitlyn nodded, gently tugging Vi to lay down with her. Vi wrapped her arms around her and Caitlyn rested her head on her chest, trying to steady herself. Vi patiently waited, stroking her back.
“We were back in the Temple of Janna in the Undercity,” she began, her voice still unsteady. “When we fought Sevica and…”
“Jinx,” Vi finished, her voice heavy. The memory of her sister would always follow her, even as the pain of her death grew easier to manage.
Caitlyn nodded. “It was when Isha was between you and Jinx. When I was trying to shoot her and you stopped me.” She hesitated. “Only… it didn’t work this time. You weren’t able to stop me.”
“Oh,” Vi replied after a few breaths, subtly holding Cait tighter. “So… you shot Jinx,” she asked shakily. “In your dream?” When Caitlyn didn’t answered, she said, “was it Isha?” Cait sniffled, pressing her face against Vi’s chest. The thumping of her heart echoed in her ear. She’s here, she’s alive, she reminded herself as Vi’s fingers grazed her spine.
“…It was you,” Caitlyn whispered in an almost not there voice. Vi’s hand halted momentarily, both them taking in the confession. Caitlyn hesitated, irrationally terrified Vi would pull away, maybe out of disgust or even fear.
“…Wow,” Vi mumbled eventually, once again running her hand along Cait’s back. “That’s… a lot.”
Caitlyn nodded. “I must’ve pulled the trigger too soon. When you were trying to move the gun.” She reached out, gently placing her hand on a spot on Vi’s abdomen through her shirt. To the right of her hand was the scar from when Sevica had stabbed her. Caitlyn had traded her rifle for the medicine that saved her life. It seemed her subconscious could be incredibly cruel; making her believe she killed Vi with the weapon she once traded to keep her alive.
“I didn’t mean to,” she continued. Her voice was unreliable as her emotions got the better of her. “I tried to save you. Stop the blood. I was begging you to stay alive. But you were tired. So hopeless.” Tears slipped out of the corner of her eyes and down her face. “You just… died. I was still holding your hand. I felt it go limp. Your eyes…” she pressed her lips together, biting back a sob.
Vi just held her, knowing she had more to say and waiting until she was ready.
“Your eyes went dark,” Cait said, her voice barely a murmur now. “Like my mother when they found her. I just… screamed, and cried, clutching onto you. Then Jinx was there.”
“What did she say,” Vi asked, her volume similarly quiet.
Nothing that wasn’t true, Caitlyn thought. “She reminded me how… even though I didn’t kill you, I still hit you with the gun and left you.” Her voice continued to be at risk of giving out, but she pushed on. “That you tried so hard to protect me from ruining myself, when you should’ve saved yourself and stayed away from me. She asked if hurting those I love was why I wielded my gun, and who else had to suffer before I destroyed myself.”
The silence hung between them, lingering, until Vi gently asked “Is that all?” She nodded. “That sounds like hell, Cait. I’m so sorry.”
Caitlyn laughed bitterly, her cheeks hot as tears dried on her face. “I have a nightmare where I murdered you, and you’re apologizing to me.”
“Hey,” Vi said, reaching down and gently holding Cait’s face in her hands. She guided her up so they were at eye level, looking right past her face to her heart. “Don’t do that.” Her voice was gentle, but firm.
“Vi-“
“Caitlyn, don’t do that,” she repeated. “You don’t let me talk like this after I have a nightmare, so you’re not gonna either. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine, see? I’m right here.”
Caitlyn went to say something, but Vi stopped her. “Yes, okay? You did hurt me. And it was fucking miserable. But you were hurting too. I know you’d never do that again. And guess what, Cupcake?” Vi risked a small grin. “I forgave you. A long time ago. Because I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to live with you, sleep in the same bed, and comfort you when you have nightmares that make you hurt like hell.”
Caitlyn stared at Vi, awed once again by her perceptiveness. “How do you always know all the right things to say,” she murmured.
Vi smiled softly. “Because I know how your mind works, Cait.” She leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “Your big, beautiful, hectic brain. And I know you’d do all the same for me.”
Caitlyn nodded, gazing at this incredible woman. Her incredible woman. “As long as you’ll let me.”
Vi’s eyes sparkled. “That’s a dangerous promise, Cait.”
“You’re worth the risk.”
“So are you, Cupcake.” She kissed Caitlyn softly. “So are you.”
Caitlyn smiled against Vi’s lips. “You’re so good to me.”
Vi grinned. “Ya, well, I’m quite the giver. Always get the job done-“ Cait cut her off with another soft kiss. The quiet room was filled with the sounds of quiet kisses and carefree giggles.
“Okay,” Vi said after some time. “Do you wanna try and get some more sleep?” Caitlyn tensed in her arms. “We’re both heading into the office later tomorrow morning, we can afford to sleep in a bit. Might as well take advantage.”
Caitlyn tilted her head, pressing it into the pillow. “We’re heading in later?”
“Ya,” Vi said confidently. “I decided. I am Deputy, after all.”
Cait rolled her eyes. Vi smiled, pulling her close. She tucked Caitlyn’s head under her chin, cupping the back of her head. “Sleep, Cait. I’ve got you.”
Caitlyn sighed, wrapping her arms around Vi’s waist. “You’ll always be here,” she asked, her voice small.
She heard Vi sigh contently and press her cheek to her head. “Always.”