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“You seem perplexed. I shall leave you to your thoughts.” He isn’t going to do such a thing, but it is fun to tease Screwllum on occasion. He turns on his heel as if to leave, but a somewhat distressed sound from his partner has him turning back. “Screwllum?”
“I believe… I believe I have upset Nobilis.” Screwllum says, voice quiet. It has Veritas furrowing his brow, taking a few steps forward, coming to stop next to his chair in their shared library. Resting against it, he crosses his arms.
“Everything upsets that cat. A piece of dust floating in the air upsets that cat. Aeons, him seeing his own shadow upsets him. Don’t take it personally.” He certainly doesn’t. But Screwllum cares deeply for Nobilis, carrying him around everywhere, buying him all kinds of toys and housing. He thinks it's too much, but Screwllum thinks it’s too little. “But, for curiosity’s sake…how did you manage to reach that conclusion?”
There’s a pause, then— “Answer: He will not touch me anymore. Or let me pet him.”
“Huh?”
“Nobilis. He will not come in contact with my body. I am afraid… I am afraid I have upset him, that my metal body has upset him.”
“Screwllum, beloved, he’s a cat. Not a cake cat, but an actual Felis catus. One of the universe’s most oldest and fickle creatures. Do not take offense if he doesn’t want to be touched. He barely lets me pet him and I’m the one who found him and brought him here.” In fact, the only thing Nobilis lets Veritas do is feed him. He can’t even say hello to the cat without him turning up his nose or walking away.
“Yes…I suppose so.” The urge to feel smug about being correct dies down when he realizes Screwllum is still stressed about the matter.
“Enough. What has happened?” For something must have actually occurred before this development and it has been weighing on Screwllum’s mind.
“...perhaps I have overreacted. Request: Please forget what I have said.” Ah, the evade. He expected it, of course, but still, it’s a noble try.
“Screwllum…”
“I… Alright.” Screwllum sighs, a heavy sound, and looks away, out the open door. “Yesterday, I was reading here, in the library, and Nobilis decided to join me. As you know, he greatly enjoys grooming himself, so he sat on the arm of my chair and proceeded to groom himself for seven minutes and thirty-three sections. After said period, he stopped and looked at me, and then…proceeded to lick my outer faceplate, as if to groom me. Within two seconds of such action, he stopped, made a very upsetting sound, and ran away. When I found him later, he did not let me touch him. I have made several attempts since, but I fear my makeup has upset him.”
“Screwllum…”
“If you see him, will you tell him I mean no ill will? I am very saddened that I upset him. Perhaps I even hurt his tongue. I am very sorry. I cannot change my makeup… I shall remember to wear my gloves in the future when petting him as well. Perhaps I have been upsetting him all this time.”
Veritas sighs and closes his eyes, rubbing his fingers against his eyelids. It’s a bad habit, one he should stop, but Screwllum can be so…so stupid sometimes.
“Screwllum, my darling genius, is it possible…you were too cold? Weren’t you running your annual overclocking test yesterday?” The aristocrat turns to him, head tilted.
“Confusion: I do not understand the reasoning for this question.”
“Your core and external temperature—is it possible you were too cold? I know that you must cool rapidly after overclocking, so could you have maintained that temperature through yesterday? You felt fine last night—no comment out of you. What do you records report?” Screwllum hums, eyes dimming for a fraction of a second.
“It was—ah. I see.”
“That is perhaps why Nobilis got upset. You did nothing wrong—the answer is that he’s just sensitive to the cold. If anything, you probably startled him, he got embarrassed, and now he’s trying to act like nothing happened while also evading you to not have you bring it up.”
“Like you?”
“Excuse— Are you likening me to a cat, Mr. Screwllum?”
“I would do no such thing, Mr. Ratio.”
“Just because Nobilis and I have similar hair and fur colors does not mean we are similar.”
“Of course, not dear.”
“Neither does the fact that he, for some weird reason, enjoys apples.”
“…if you say so, dearest.” There’s that cheeky tone of Screwllum’s.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
He pushes away from his chair, knowing he’s not going to win this non-existent argument.“Fine, let’s go find that creature. I know where he is.”
“Thank you…”
“And just because he’s in the greenhouse does not mean we are the same.”
“…”
“Couch.”
He gets a cheeky hum in return as a cold hand settles on his back.
△
Nobilis is exactly where he assumed him to be—in the middle of Screwllum’s butterfly house, commanding all the attention of the butterflies. They take turns landing on his nose, before they fly away only to turn again.
(He tries not to read into it too much, but he can’t deny how…eerily similar Nobilis is to him…especially when it comes to his…fondness of a certain genius he has chosen to spend his life with.)
“Veritas, I think this is a bad idea. I do not wish to upset him in a place of peace.” He rolls his eyes, taking a step forward. The butterflies flutter toward him, before realizing who he is with.
Screwllum has always been their favorite, after all.
With Nobilis now alone, and looking mightily annoyed, he glares at the cat and calls out. “Nobilis! You need to come over here right now and apologize to Screwllum right this instance.”
The cat, in typical cat attitude ignores him, choosing instead to lift his right paw and clean it. Next to him, Screwllum makes a very sad and dejected sound and Veritas is done.
He marches over to the cat, glaring down at it.
“Nobilis Ratio the First! You will go over to Screwllum and apologize for what you have done.” The cat doesn’t move, doesn’t acknowledge him besides flicking his ear in Veritas’s direction. “Do not ignore me! You have upset Screwllum, you need to apologize this instant.”
He watches as Nobilis freezes, paw hanging in mid-air. The cat looks up at him with big eyes opened wide.
And then the cat lets out a very sad and dejected meow, getting up on all fours and running—
—right to Screwllum.
A Screwllum who startles and kneels down, eyes flickering rapidly.
“D-dear one, I may be cold, I do not wish to—” Nobilis meows again, jumping into Screwllum’s open arms. Once Screwllum has secured his hold, Nobilis rubs his face against Screwllum’s faceplate with such force it knocks Screwllum’s hat off his head. Screwllum simply holds Nobilis a little tighter—but not too tight—and pets his fur. Nobilis purrs in response, still rubbing his face against Screwllum’s.
“There. Problem solved.” Nobilis swishes his tail at him, but he rolls his eyes and doesn’t comment.
“I am not certain how yelling solved the problem of my body being too cold, but I am glad.” Screwllum continues to pet Nobilis, carefully rearranging himself so he’s sitting cross legged on the ground.
“I wasn’t yelling, just being stern. He had no right to ignore you and avoid you like that, so he needed to apologize.”
For Veritas Ratio is not stupid, nor an idiot. He knows that Nobilis isn’t a regular Felis catus, knows that there’s something different about him. He has noticed how the cat will listen to him and Screwllum talk about their work, focusing in like he understands the words. He has seen him blink at nothing, eyes focused and concentrated.
He has also seen, when Nobilis thinks no one is looking, the cat not only summon a piece of white chalk…but don an alabaster head similar to his own.
However, he is not going to be informing Screwllum of this discovery until he has concrete evidence…and also that this is not a prank from The Herta. While she has played many before, he believes this is too cruel of one for her play, as Screwllum is quite taken with Nobilis.
“—tas?”
“Hm?” He blinks, turning his gaze back toward Screwllum and Nobilis. Nobilis is now sitting tall in front of Screwllum, looking at him.
“Nobilis has something to say.” The cat says nothing. “Go on, Nobilis.”
The cat looks to the side, then meows once. It’s a short sound, tinged with annoyance.
“And that is supposed to be?”
“Answer: He is apologizing. I asked him to, since he has upset you as well.” That was certainly not an apology, but Veritas looks past that as Screwllum begins to pet Nobilis again. “I regret not bringing his brushes along…”
“Then grab him and let's go back inside. It’s cold out here.” He mumbles out the last part, hoping Screwllum won’t hear. By the cheeky hum Screwllum makes, his wish goes unheard.
“Yes, that is a good idea. Nobilis is getting cold as well.” He nods and directs Screwllum to the door. “Question: Veritas, are you sure the two of you are not alike? The more I ponder on my hypothesis, the more evidence I gather to support a potential theory that you are similar.”
“Once again, Mr, Screwllum: are you calling me a fickle cat?”
“Not at all, Mr. Ratio, as I believe you are more an ever-wise owl. I am merely hypothesizing that the two of you share the same personality.” Nobilis makes an angry meow, like he’s disagreeing. Veritas, for once, agrees with him. “Ah, do you too disagree with me, dear one? That saddens me…”
“Does my rejection of your hypothesis sadden you?” Screwllum shakes his head.
“It does not, as I believe you need more time to process and think on my notes. Nobilis is a cat and so far, has not displayed any higher level thinking, so I will take his opinions as they are.” Nobilis turns his head toward Veritas, eyes closing in what Veritas knows to be mockery.
Like he’s won or something.
“Mr. Screwllum?”
“Yes, my dear?”
“Couch, again. I’m extending it to two weeks.”
“Very well. I shall miss you, but with Nobilis seemingly okay with my make-up now, I believe he will be keeping me company. I do not believe I will be lonely, even though I will miss laying next to you.”
Nobilus starts purring and Veritas realizes he’s just lost.
To an aeonsdamned cat.
“Well, if you want Nobilis to be your companion, then that shall be that. I will be in my wing for the rest of the day. Enjoy your time with your dear one, Mr. Screwllum.” He increases his pace, ignoring Screwllum’s confused sound.
He is not jealous of a cat. He is not.
He is not!
□
“Observation: It seems that I have been upsetting those dear to me as of lately. I will need to work on avoiding doing that in the future.” He gently brings the brush through Nobilis’s purple fur, marveling at how similar it looks to Veritas’s hair. When Veritas had brought Nobilis to the mansion, the cat had been wearing old and tarnished jewelry around its front legs and next, and after a burst of inspiration, Screwllum had crafted Nobilis a replacement set that looked just like Veritas’s. The laurel headpiece was one of Veritas’s spares, which he had not seemed too happy about but acquiesced when Screwllum had commented that it would honor Veritas for taking Nobilis in.
Nobilis’s confused meow brings him back to the matter at hand, which seems to be that he has stopped brushing his fur. “Ah, my apologies, dear one.”
Nobilis makes a happy little sound, settling a little lower in his bed and closing his eyes.
“I am very grateful that you forgave me. Follow-up: I will also be more observant of my body temperature when you are around so you do not have to be uncomfortable again. It is of no issue to me, as I do the same for Veritas…most of the time. It is…my way of ‘messing with him’, as Miss Silver Wolf would say.” Nobilis opens one eye to look at him, rolling over onto his back so that his belly is up. “Oh. If it is okay with you…”
With very careful movements, he gently pets the side of Nobilis’s belly, marveling how he can register the vibrations under his fingers as Nobilis purrs. He continues to pet the cat, being as gentle as possible, when Nobilis shifts a little.
“Hm, what is this?” He removes his hand from Nobilis’s belly to pick up an item mostly hidden by the white blanket that lays on the bottom of Nobilis’s cat bed. It is…alabaster, shaped like a piece of chalk. However, unlike the piece of chalks he is used to seeing in long and nimble fingers, this piece is merely five times its size and weight.
“...curious. How did you come across this, dear noble one?” He moves to place the chalk outside of the cat bed so Nobilis doesn’t injure himself, when he sees something else. Lifting the blanket just enough to view under it but not disturb Nobilis, Screwllum tilts his head at the sight of broken chips of alabaster.
He picks a few pieces up and rearranges them in his hand, finding that the shape is not what he expected.
“Confusion: Nobilis…why do you—” The cat meows sadly, rolling over and over. “Question: Is something wrong? Shall I call Veritas?”
Nobilis meows again, coming to rest on his stomach and laying a little more flat. Concern races through his coding as he drops the alabaster pieces in his hand and picks up Nobilis, racing out of the room and toward Veritas’s wing.
“Veritas! Veritas!”
○
Being roughly carried as the tall inorganic man rushes through hallway after hallway is a price worth paying. He cannot be figured out by this man.
The other one, the organic man, no doubt knows that something is not right, his cover no doubt blown.
But that is okay, because it seems that the inorganic male—Screwllum—is easily swayed. He does not believe he will have problems with him for some time.
But the organic man…that Dr. Veritas Ratio…he knows…but why he has not told Screwllum remains a mystery. He will need to report back soon…but not now.
He has Screwllum every night for two weeks without that annoying man. Screwllum is always the perfect temperature at night to sleep on, curled up on the center of his chest. And without Dr. Ratio around, it means he will not have to move for at least eight hours.
An unexpected bonus to what transpired, though he does regret what happened. He had not meant to be so weak, but the extreme coldness of Screwllum’s body had startled him. He won’t make the same mistake twice; he fears he almost blew his cover.
“...this is why Herta takes advantage of you, you know that right? There’s nothing wrong with him. He just wanted attention. All cats do.”
“...will you at least look him over? For me?” Ah, he must not give himself away. He meows sadly as he’s taken from Screwllum’s arms.
“Oh don’t give me that. I know he’s your favorite.” He meows his agreement, hissing when Dr. Ratio assesses his body with quick hands. “He’s fine. Perhaps a little overweight, like I’ve been saying.”
“I am glad he is okay.”
“Is there anything else?” He freezes, remembering just how he got into this position.
“No, there is not. Thank you, Veritas, I will let you get back to your call.” Dr. Ratio huffs, handing him back over to Screwllum.
“It’s just Comitas and Humanitas arguing over the menu updates for the Hall’s cafeteria. I was stupid enough to answer thinking they actually needed my help. I won’t miss our appointment though, rest assured.”
Ah, Comitas and Humanitas. He has…missed hearing those names. It has been a very long time… He thinks about them as Screwllum carries him back toward his room, petting his flank with gentle hands. The man is always gentle, always worried he will harm him. He purrs in content, rubbing his nose against Screwllum’s chest.
Before long, he is placed back in his bed. He is quick to sweep up the broken parts of his bust and whisk away his chalk as Screwllum goes about fixing a snack.
He meows happily as it's placed in front of him, swishing his tail back and forth.
“I know Veritas says to watch your weight, but it’s okay…this will be our little secret, okay? We simply will go on an extra long walk tomorrow.” Screwllum I says. He meows back his approval.
A secret. Yes, a secret is good. This secret is good. The snacks are very good.
(This will not be in his report, he decides later. He doesn’t need anyone else coming to the mansion to try to take his snacks…and his favorite person.
And he supposes…his Partner as well.)