Archive of Our Own ^beta

As far as childbirth experience goes, the second time around seems to be a breeze compared to the first time. But then, anything is better than being trapped underneath several tons of rubble after a building collapse while the person next to you slowly grows cold with death.

Charlotte had come into their lives with a bang. Chase seemed determined to be a quieter presence than his sister.

But still, the journey wasn’t without its own surprises. The biggest of which came in the form of one of the two people Buck had thought was forever out of his life.

Finding his dad standing outside his house a month before Chase’s arrival had Buck blinking in confusion, certain that he’d started hallucinating somewhere between the kitchen and the front door. Because how is Phillip Buckley here right now? Why is he here right now? And where was Margaret? He cranes his neck to try and look around his dad’s shoulder and finds no one else standing behind one. Phillip was here alone.

Beside him, Bear barks out once. So his dad really is here, it’s not just Buck who can see him.

“Uh, dad…?”

“Ev—Buck. Hello, son.”

Another blink and then Buck quickly stands to the side (the Mal moving with him with a soft whine) and gestures for his dad to come inside. “C-come in. Please.”

It’s awkward. How could it not be? Even though they’ve actually talked more in the last six months than they have in the last six years, it was still so weird to see the older man actually physically standing before him. Yet, Buck finds that he isn’t upset to see Phillip there. In fact, part of him is warmed by the unexpected visit.

For a long, long time Buck had thought of Margaret and Phillip Buckley simply as the people who raised him rather than mom and dad. Those roles seemed more fitting when describing Bobby and Athena than his actual, biological parents. But then one day a few months ago, an unexpected name flashes across his phone screen and Buck nearly doesn’t pick up. He was so surprised to see Phillip Buckley on the screen that he fumbled his phone, watching it fall face down on the rug, still vibrating.

When he finally gathers his nerves enough to reach for his phone and hit the green answer button, Buck is met with silence from the other end of the call. For a second, it must have been an accidental butt-dial…

“Evan?”

It always throws Buck for a loop when someone other than Tommy calls him by his first name. He’s so used to the sound of it coming from his husband’s mouth that he sometimes genuinely forgets that other people know him by that name too, that there are people out there who have known him as Evan longer than they’ve known him as Buck (Maddie notwithstanding).

“Dad?” He blinks slowly, seemingly ready for reality to slowly crack and fall away. Why is his dad calling him? When was the last time Phillip Buckley had thought to reach out to him? Usually his parents would call Maddie, would visit Maddie and her kids—their grandkids—and Buck would be a forgotten memory, barely a speck in the minds. Yet, here he was, sitting in his living room…on the phone with his dad, someone he hasn’t actively talked to (aside from the run-in last Christmas in Hershey) in years. “Why are y—is everything okay?”

Because why else would either of his parents call him unless something was very wrong.

“I just—Evan…I’m sorry, I mean Buck…I was, uh, just calling to see how you were…” His dad’s voice trails off and for a long moment there’s only silence between them, but neither man hangs up the call.

For Buck, it’s so weird to hear how uncertain Phillip Buckley sounds. It’s nothing like the dad he knew growing up, who always sounded so sure and confident. He had never been the kind of man to mince his words, a stalwart force behind Margaret, always backing her up when he came to butting heads against Buck and his often reckless life-choices. But the man he’s on the phone with right now sounds old; a little frail and so much smaller.

“I’m, um, I’m good.”

“That’s…good. Good.”

More silence follows. Buck wants to ask why his dad is calling him, but he doesn’t know how to. Over the years he’s seemingly forgotten how to talk to his own dad. Several times, he opens his mouth to try, only to close it again and again. He didn’t know what to say.

He’s even more lost when he hears his dad’s next words.

“A-and how is my, um, m-my granddaughter?”

“Ch-Charlie?” A small spark inside of him lights up when he hears Phillip say the word granddaughter, an acknowledgment he didn’t need but wanted to hear anyway.

As far as Buck knew, his parents had stopped reaching out to him after he’d outed his relationship with Tommy at Maddie’s hospital bedside wedding. By the time he’d first held Charlotte in his arms, it had already been way over a year since he’d last even seen either Margaret or Phillip. When they’d stopped calling, visiting only Maddie when they came to Los Angeles—a fact he only found out inadvertently after they’d left and he’d been over to his sister’s for dinner one night—Buck had decided that he wasn’t going to try to be the bigger person this time. If they didn’t want him in their lives, he was perfectly fine with that. He had parental figures in Bobby and Athena; he had Maddie and Chimney and their kids; he also had Eddie and Christopher, and even Hen and her family; and most important of all, he had Tommy by his side, his forever support column. Even through their ups and downs, Buck never considered contacting his parents.

But here he was, on the phone with his dad, who had picked up a phone and called him first. And he had asked after Charlotte, in a tone that didn’t sound upset. Rather, Phillip sounded genuinely curious, like he actually wanted to know about the well-being of his granddaughter, who he’s never actually officially met (not even that snowy day in Hershey).

“Charlie? Is that her name?”

“I-it’s short for…Charlotte.”

Buck holds his breath. Old images of his mom’s sneering expression at the thought of nicknames flashes before his eyes and he waits, afraid his dad would have the same reaction.

“That’s a beautiful name. Charlie sounds perfect.”

“She is perfect.” He says, not as a defensive gesture but that automatic response parents get when someone compliments their kid. Charlie is indeed perfect in Buck and Tommy’s eyes, sassiness and all.

“How old is she now? She looks so much like you, Ev—Buck, when you were little.” There’s a weary wistfulness in his tone and Buck realizes just now that his dad is doing his best to call him by his preferred name. It’s a pleasant surprise, but it also makes him more worried that something may be wrong. Still, he doesn’t open his mouth to ask.

“She’s not mine.” He says instead, and then scrambles to correct himself. “I mean—she’s mine, she’s ours—but she’s not actually related to either Tommy nor I by blood.”

“She’s yours in all the ways that count, Buck.”

She is. Charlotte is theirs as much as she belonged to her mother, who gave her life with her own dying breath.

Buck blinks and he’s back standing by the open door of his house, the same door his dad just walked through. And even though they’ve talked over the phone a couple of more times since that surprise call all those months ago, it’s still shocking to see the man appear right before his eyes, in the flesh. He hadn’t called or even texted—something they’ve also started doing occasionally—to let Buck know ahead of time, so he can’t quite help the frown that takes over his face.

“Um, n-not that I’m not happy to see you, dad…” He trails off, because Buck’s not entirely sure he should be happy to see Phillip Buckley standing in his house even though it’s not totally an unpleasant surprise. The man is looking a little lost and very tired. In fact, the man looks far older than Buck remembers, when they’d last had a physical run-in back in December, over a year ago. “But, what are you, uh, d-doing here?”

He watches as the older man’s shoulders move up and down as a dramatic sigh leaves his mouth; Phillip seems to deflate, almost, right before his eyes and there’s a part of Buck that wants to reach out, still remember the occasions during his childhood where his dad had voluntarily comforted him—interacted with him—before his mother would interrupt and a curtain seems to shut behind his dad’s eyes; then little-Buck was left all alone again. It was something he’d pushed out of his mind over the years, the small bursts of warmth he would get from Phillip only for it to be snatched away, leaving him feeling colder in the aftermath.

Petting Bear on the head softly, Buck takes a step forward anyway, ready to reach out to the man when he registers the next words his dad spoke.

“I’m…leaving your mother.”

His brain stutters to a stop, because what?

“W-what?!” Did he hear that correctly? Was his dad really just saying he was leaving his mother?! Margaret Buckley? Buck can’t imagine it, almost certain this was just some weird hallucination his mind conjured up because why would Phillip Buckley leave Margaret Buckley? It simply made no sense. Growing up, if his mom said jump, his dad would do so without even asking how high.

“It’s been too long.” Phillip heaves another sigh and his whole body seems to wobble a little, like he’s almost too weak, too weary, to hold himself up any longer.

Quickly, Buck darts forward and guides his dad to sit down on the couch. Bear slowly approaches and lays his head down on the man’s lap, offering his own furry version of comfort the only way he knows how.

“I—I don’t understand, dad.” Buck drops down onto the couch too, still mired in a cloud of disbelief. He stares at the man that more-or-less raised him and he just doesn’t understand. Growing up, Margaret and Phillip were always a united front as far as Buck can remember; his mom’s words were always law and his dad tried his best to never upset her more delicate disposition—and now he knows why she was the way she was…because of Daniel. “You’re—what do you mean you’re leaving mom? You mean, like, for a vacation?”

Even as he says it, Buck knows that’s not what his dad meant. He certainly doesn’t look like a man going on a relaxing solo-trip, the opposite actually.

“I’ve spent years…decades…” Phillip heaves another heavy sigh and slumps forward over Bear’s head, who whimpers quietly and snuggles into the older man’s embrace even further. “placating a woman who…is determined to ruin our family.”

Buck is shocked by what he’s hearing, frozen to his spot on the couch. He wants to speak but doesn’t dare, simply waits for his dad to continue.

“After—after Daniel…god, even before Daniel got sick…your mother—Margaret—she always had to fit everything into this picture perfect image of what a family should be. And I loved her, I did, so…I fit myself into her mold.” Phillip shakes his head as it hangs there. He looks so defeated, so small; an odd image before Buck’s eyes. “Then Daniel got sick and she…broke. When he…when he died—” He looks up directly into Buck’s eyes then. “we, our family, broke. And I’m so sorry, Evan.”

Buck’s heart speeds up, chest feeling too tight. He doesn’t even bother to correct his dad calling him by his given name.

“I spent so long holding her together that I didn’t even notice our family falling apart until it was too late. I was a terrible father to Maddie and you. Especially you.” He hung his head and Buck finally gave into the urge to hug the man. He leans over and pulls his dad into his arms, can’t help but think that the man feels so much more fragile than he remembered.

“This doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you for everything.” Buck says after a while, still wrapped around his dad, who has since reached around him to return the hug. “But you should stay…dad. We, uh, we have the room. Tommy—”

“I doubt your husband would want me underfoot.” Phillip finally pulls back and wipes at his eyes, tear tracks visible.

It breaks Buck’s heart a little at the sight. Even though he’s always had mixed feelings—complicated feelings—about his parents, he still always looked up at Phillip and thought the man a literal giant growing up. He was dad, even if he was a bad dad. So to see the man looking as he is now, sitting in his living room and shaking his head weakly, Buck reached out to take hold of one of his hands.

“Tommy won’t mind. And—and you can spend some time with your granddaughter.”

There was a flash of hope in Phillip’s eye and that set of a spark of warmth inside Buck. The path to forgiveness still has a long way to go, but progress has been made, first with the phone calls and not this. And Buck’s not actually sure if his husband would be happy to find his (admittedly) negligent father staying in their spare bedroom, but there’s a part of Buck that doesn’t want to let the older man go. Having Phillip close by made it all see more real; that his dad really did want a relationship with him.

Just then, a small jingle catches Buck’s attention and he turns to see a tiny black and cream ball of fur come ambling into the living room. In all the hubbub of his dad’s sudden appearance, he forgot that his four year old was in her room taking a nap.

But if Beau is out here now, it means that Charlotte was awake.

And sure enough, not even a minute later, before Buck could even let go of his dad and stand up, his adorable baby girl comes toddling into the living room, half-dragging Buttons, her giant French Lop rabbit with her.

“Daddy?” She still sounds half asleep and Buck is up and across the room in seconds, picking up both Charlotte and Buttons in one fell swoop. It seems she’s more awake than he gave her credit for though, when hazy blue eyes turn to focus on the only other adult in their houses that’s not her dad. “Who that?” She points, hugging Buttons closer, who (as usual) makes no complaint about being manhandled by a toddler.

“That’s…” Despite their multiple phone calls and his dad having sent several gifts for Charlotte, they’ve never actually met—outside of that once negligible moment in Hershey nearly a year ago—not even over FaceTime. So he feels a bit at a loss, even as he had just asked his dad to stay, and to meet Charlotte. “Your grandpa, Bun.”

Buck watches as a little frown comes over the little girl’s face and for a second he worried that she maybe retained some bad memories from the Hershey encounter, but then she looks up at him and blinks, “that’s not, PopBob, daddy. Don’t be silly!”

“I—no, Bunny, this is…this is my dad.” He explains, though it doesn’t seem to be working because she only seems to look more confused…and skeptical. His daughter is looking at him like he’s gone senile.

“PopBob.” She seems to speak with her whole body.

And Buck wants so badly to laugh, she looks so cute, little eyebrows furrowed.

“This is daddy’s…”

“Other dad.” Phillip answers for him.

Buck looks surprised at those words, not expecting the man to say what he said. He’d always imagined awkwardly explaining to his dad about Bobby’s importance in his life, in the life of his daughter, but apparently it’s quite obvious. And he’s glad that Phillip seems to understand. He mouths a silent thank you as he brings Charlotte closer, who looks no less confused at the older man’s presence.

“You remember some of those toys you got? The plushie that looks like Buttons?” He asks Charlotte. She nods. “That’s from your grandpa.” Buck points to Phillip and waits for Charlotte’s eyes to follow the line.

“Grandpa?” She points at Phillip, too, and Buck swears he saw his dad swallow back tears.

They don’t get further than that before the front door opens and Tommy is walking in, back turned to them as he has both hands out guiding the other person with him, an obviously pregnant woman who is chewing on a churro and trying to bat away the cautious hands. Buck is stock still for a second, realizing he hadn’t actually told his dad about Ellie…and the child—his and Tommy’s child—that she is carrying.

“Dad—”

“Stop it! I’m hardly an invalid. Just 7 months pregnant.” Ellie bullies her way past Tommy, and that’s when the other of them discover Phillip standing in the middle of the living room.

Ellie just gives an awkward wave with the hand still holding the churro while Tommy’s eyes shift to Buck, one eyebrow lifting in confusion. His husband is well aware that he’s slowly been reconnecting with his dad more and more in the last six months or so, but it’s still a shock—that Buck very much is still reeling from—to find the man in their home. Bear barks and breaks Buck out of his stupor.

“Ellie, this is my dad. Phillip Buckley.” Buck introduces. “Dad, you know Tommy. This is Ellie…our surrogate.”

“Surro—surrogate?”

A small part of Buck was worried that his dad would disapprove—be upset—and from the looks of it, so was Tommy because he can see how stiffly his husband is standing, still semi-protective in front of Ellie, half blocking her from Phillip’s view. But his dad surprises him with the smile that blooms over his face. He looked genuinely happy as he turned to Buck, who was still holding Charlotte in his arms, and took a step closer.

“That’s…that’s so great, Buck.” The man says, a little choked up. “You deserve a big, happy family.” One we—I—never could give you, was heavily implied.

And even though he no longer needed validation from Margaret or Phillip, to hear those words from his dad still stirred something inside of him; kid-Buck would have been overjoyed.

Feeling eyes on him, Buck turns to catch Tommy’s gaze, giving the man a reassuring smile. He’s fine. A little overwhelmed with all the new information he’s been bombarded with in the last hour or two, but he also feels lighter, too. Buck reaches forward to clasp his dad in the shoulders, before setting Charlotte down, who eagerly drags Buttons over to her papa.

“Up, papa! Wanna hear bug!” She raises one arm and Buck watches as his husband simply melts, always so weak in the presence of their daughter’s every request.

He watches as Tommy lifts Charlotte off the ground and helps her (and Buttons) up to Ellie’s protruding belly so the little girl could put her ear up to it. It has become a routine whenever Charlotte first sees Ellie; she wants to listen to her little brother, her little bug as she’d taken to calling him after seeing an ultrasound picture of the baby early on—she says the gurgles are speaking to her. And who was Buck or Tommy to deny her enthusiasm? A peek out of his periphery catches his dad also looking at the display fondly. The man wipes at his eyes and Buck takes a step closer.

“Dad…” He says quietly, catching the man’s attention.

“I’m okay, Buck.” Phillip waves him off, but doesn’t try to dislodge his hand when Buck sets it down on his shoulder. He’s seen his dad cry more times today than he has in his entire thirty-plus years of life; it’s shocking, but also felt like more of an olive branch being extended than the phone calls they’ve been having. Because he never once thought his dad would be the type to strip off the generic dad stoicism that he’s always shown throughout Buck’s childhood, but here he is today…so, so, so different. “I’m so glad you’ve made such a good life for yourself.”

“I—thanks, dad.”

The rest of the afternoon is spent re-introducing Phillip to Tommy, and telling his dad more about their surrogacy journey, with Ellie butting in with her blunt commentary every so often. It was…surprisingly amicable. Enjoyable, even. And Buck can’t help smiling as he takes in his family—Phillip included.

Of course it would figure that Charlotte would be the one to break the tension, even if she had no idea there was any awkwardness. Not long after she’d had her conversation with her bug, she’d toddled over to Phillip, taken him by the hand and brought the man to meet her little brother. Tommy and Buck simply stood back and watched.

“You didn’t…” His husband whispers between the two of them, eyes still watching as their daughter played hostess between Ellie and Buck’s dad.

“…know? I had no idea.” Buck shook his head, reaching over to take Buttons from Tommy’s arm, momentarily forgotten by Charlotte. He sets the bunny down on the couch, watching as Bartholomew wanders over from whatever corner of the house he’d disappeared to, dragging a still tiny Beau with him up to the couch to cuddle with Buttons. It’s an odd sight; a rabbit cuddled with a cat and a puppy…and even Bear has joined them, but it was a fitting metaphor for the family Buck has built for himself over the years.

“Dad, what do you want for dinner?” He calls out.

He feels Tommy wrap an arm around him and he leans his weight back on the older man as he waits for an answer.

Phillip looks surprised at the inclusion most likely, and isn’t that trippy when growing up that had been the expression on Buck’s face whenever his parents seemingly remembered him—whenever Margaret was actually nice and nurturing to him.

“I—anything is fine, Buck.” Phillip manages, before turning to Ellie, “will you be joining, miss…?”

“Just call me Ellie.” The blonde woman smiles gently. The smile turns sharper as she zeros in on Buck. “Your baby wants chicken parm.”

Buck looks to his dad, who nods stunned, something Ellie’s personality has done to many people. “Chicken parm it is.” Buck claps, turning to kiss Tommy on the lips before skipping over to pick up Charlotte. “Wanna help daddy cook dinner, Bun?”

Giggles trail after them as the flurry inside the kitchen starts.

He doesn’t know what happened after he left Tommy alone with Ellie and Phillip, but Buck does know that Ellie chose to sit next to his dad at dinner, barring Tommy being near her because he’s “too suffocating in his worrying.” To which the older man pouted until Buck soothed him with another kiss on the lips.

That night, he and Charlotte helped Phillip settle into the guest bedroom.

It’s been a little over a month since Phillip decided on a whim—something he’s never ever done in his entire life—to pack up a suitcase and book the earliest flight he could to Los Angeles, and he really thought he’d have overstayed his welcome by now. He was still living at Buck and Tommy’s house, though he had spent a little time at Maddie and Howard’s place with his other two grandchildren. Most days, it felt like the family he could have had if only he didn’t give into Margaret’s grief over Daniel…and isn’t that just a depressing thought.

Because he’d spent decades placating his wife’s whims over the loss of their eldest child that he’s completely neglected his other two living children. Phillip can only hope it truly isn’t too late.

So far, Buck seems to be taking it in stride, as is that husband of his, who Phillip surprisingly gets along well with. There had been a few moments of tension between them during that first week, but it turns out they were both basketball fans; though, Phillip thinks he’s crazy for picking the Lakers over the Knicks.

Otherwise, he also gets to spend a lot of his time with little Charlie (and her entourage of animals) when both his son and son-in-law are off at work. To say Phillip had been surprised that they would trust him with their daughter so soon after his sudden arrival into their lives would be an understatement, but he was happy they did. He was even happier when Charlie had called him GranPip one morning, just a few days ago.

If he bought Charlie a scoop of ice cream that day after a trip to the park, that was between the two of them (and Bear).

He’s even taken to spending time with Ellie, helping her—and his newest, soon-to-arrive grand baby—whenever he can. There’s something to be said for wanting to contribute during his visit, that now feels less temporary than when he had first stepped foot onto LAX grounds. Like today, Ellie had shown up at the house to drag him to the park for a stroll.

Nearly ready to pop and the young woman was acting as if she wasn’t carrying a giant protruding stomach around with her. Phillip remembers all three of Margaret’s pregnancies and she had been more than cautious with all of them, especially Evan—Buck—because that cargo had been extra precious to them at the time. He sighs at the memories, feet slowing down enough that the pregnant blonde next to him heaves a loud enough sigh to penetrate the grey clouds around his head.

“You’re old Phillip, but you’re not that old.” Ellie rolls her eyes and grabs his elbow, dragging him along to match her pace. “Surely you can keep up with a pregnant lady.”

“Maybe…we should slow down, Ellie.” He tells her, though his feet do the opposite, easily increase speed so as to stay with her stride.

“The baby wants a nice, brisk walk.”

“I’m not sure that excuse works like—”

He doesn’t know what made him pause as look around, but something in the air prickled at his skin.

The last person Phillip expected to see in the middle of a sunny Los Angeles park was his wife. But there she was, marching towards him, blonde hair still just as immaculate as ever and dressed not at all appropriate for the setting. He actually heard her before he saw her, that familiar screeching yell hard to miss—and hard to mistake. It had him spinning around immediately, trained after decades of exposure to always respond to the sound. And he turns so abruptly, stopping mid-step that he nearly takes both himself and Ellie down together.

Luckily, he was able to steady both of them so no harm would come to his unborn grandson. But that also means they’ve paused in their walking long enough for Margaret to catch up to them.

Her face was flushed cherry red, whether from exertion or anger, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t really want to. What Phillip does want is to get away from the woman—his soon (hopefully) to be ex-wife—and definitely to remove Ellie from her toxic presence. But then she’s already there, standing just a few short feet away from them, seething, with her hands on her hips.

“Is this her, Phillip?!” Margaret’s voice is loud; it catches the attention of multiple people around them and suddenly, they’re the center of attention from too many eyes.

“Margaret?!” He sounds shocked, but he’s really not. Because Phillip really should have expected this, though part of him had been hoping that Margaret would fall back on her usual ‘run from the problem and pretend it doesn’t exist’ method; but she’s always been stubborn and tenacious—a trait both their children…no, all three of their children, because Daniel had been a little fighter until the end, had inherited—so her showing up across the country just to yell at him was certainly plausible (evidently).

At this point, Phillip should have kept moving. But he wasn’t going to drag Ellie along with him just because he felt the need to escape the clutches of his wife (soon to be ex). Certainly not when the poor girl was very heavily pregnant.

“Is this the…the hussy you left me for?! Have you no respect for our marriage!?” One perfectly manicured finger is lifted into the air and pointed directly at Ellie, who continues to look unimpressed by the entire situation. Phillip would applaud her for that alone if not for the fact that he already feels weary despite only just having set foot into a conversation not of his own choosing.

“Margaret, please…”

She doesn’t listen. And he didn’t expect her to. They’ve spent too long together for him not to know at least that much about her. So it also comes at no surprise that she continues spouting accusations.

If the point was to start a spectacle her yelling at them has certainly done the trick. “After all I’ve done for you and you leave me for a whore that’s younger than our children!” Margaret’s voice is at the shrillest he’s ever heard and it echoes in his ears.

“Sometimes I wonder…” a new voice joins the fray and Phillip nearly smacks himself in the forehead upon hearing it. It was Ellie. And after having spent the last couple of weeks in and around the younger woman, he’s well aware of how little filter (and patience) she has around people who irritate her. A fact he enjoyed not only because his son and son-in-law are also quite taken with their surrogate’s wry humor.

But now was also not the time to provoke Margaret further. Not that Phillip even gets a chance to stop Ellie, because Margaret had clearly heard her also and her ire has turned onto the pregnant woman.

“What was that?!” She screeched.

“Geez, you’re very loud, lady.” Ellie even accompanies those words with a roll of her blue eyes.

Which clearly does not sit well with Margaret.

“How dare you!”

Phillip watches as Margaret threatens to take a step forward, one hand raised in the air as if she was going to slap Ellie. He quickly steps between them and uses his body as a possible shield while standing back straight as he tells her, “please, Margaret. You’re making a scene.” He also wants to ask he she was really going to assault a pregnant woman.

“Me?!” Margaret looks aghast, like she was somehow the victim in all of this. It’s a look he’s quite familiar with, having been witness to it for over thirty years now.

He still finds it hard to believe he had been so blind to it all for so long, and only hopes he’s not too late to make up for even half of what he’s all but ruined. Then he remembers the smiling family of three—Buck and his husband, and adorable little Charlie—that had greeted him this morning (and just about every day since he arrived) before everyone headed off to their respective jobs, or day care in the case of his precious granddaughter.

“Yes, you.”

Phillip sighs. There goes Ellie again. Though there is a part of him that wants to laugh at the look which overcomes Margaret’s face at the younger woman’s nonchalantness.

There’s a tug on his sleeve and he looks down at Ellie.

“This is the woman that gave birth to Maddie and Buck?” Ellie laughs with a shake of her head and even the tension inside Phillip cracks a little, a small smile stretching across his lips.

“You can’t talk to me like that!” Somehow, Margaret manages to hit a whole octave over her normal range and Phillip’s ears are ringing.

Ellie, on the other hand, hardly seems affected. “…I wasn’t.” She shrugged.

“Why you little bit—”

Without waiting for Margaret to even finish speaking, Ellie is pulling on his arm, hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, and dragging him back towards where his rental is parked.

“Ugh, Phillip, I think this park trip is over.” She’s walking fairly fast for someone at the tail end of their third trimester. People are still staring at them, but he can’t care about that right now. He has to make sure the person carrying his second grandchild is okay. “Too much loud noises is bad for the baby.”

He can only nod along.

Margaret doesn’t seem to be done, though.

“Don’t you walk away from me Phillip Buckley.” No doubt she is following behind them.

And just when he thinks they’ve finally made their escape—the pearly black hue of his rented SUV already in his line of sight—Ellie suddenly stops walking. He’s about to ask her what was wrong when—

“Oh shit.” There’s the sound of a quick splash, like a water balloon hitting the ground. In sync, both their heads look down, and there pooled on the ground between Ellie’s legs is a puddle of clear amniotic fluid. Her water had broken…two weeks before her due date.

This was hardly Phillip’s first rodeo, or even his second, but he still can’t help the momentary panic that overtakes him.

“We need to get to the hospital. Now.” He’s ready to pick her up and make a run for the car. He may be in his sixties but he’s fairly certain he’d have no problem carrying Ellie to the car. Phillip may not be Tommy or Buck— “I should call Buck.” He’s digging into his pocket for his phone.

“Oh relax. The contractions—ooooooh—aren’t that bad yet.” Ever the unbothered soul, Ellie simply grips Phillip’s arm tighter as she breathes through a contraction.

“Okay, let’s just get to the car.” He says as he helps her walk towards their car. Everything—and everyone—else is forgotten in the face of the imminent birth of his newest grandson. Not even Margaret can ruin his moment for him.

“And let’s hurry before the bitch catches up.” Ellie chances a glance behind them as they finally reach the car and he helps her into it, not caring at all that he’d have to pay cleaning costs on the car when he eventually returns it. “Ew, I feel disgusting. Thank god I decided to wear a dress today.”

“Come on, Ellie. Careful now.” He buckles her in and quickly makes his way to the driver’s side. Margaret’s blonde hair bops into his vision and she’s coming closer. Phillip hops in, starting the car immediately.

“Maybe I should drive…”

Phillip turns to stare at Ellie, who looks genuinely serious. “You’re in labor.”

“Only semi-actively!” She cradles her protruding stomach as she pouts. “Plus I know the LA streets better.”

“I may be old, but I can still use a GPS.” He tells her wryly.

Famous last words, as they say. Because not long after they’ve pulled into the highway, headed towards the designated hospital—Cedars-Sinai—Buck and Tommy (alongside Ellie) had chosen for the birth, they are caught up in an accident. It was no fault of theirs, but it was still impossible to not get swept up in the chain reaction.

Their car gets knocked around, almost like they were caught in some bizarre game of bumper cars, only this is real life and Phillip has never been more glad he decided to rent an SUV instead of a sedan. He has one hand stretched out towards his companion, palm spread across Ellie’s pregnant belly.

Beside him, Ellie makes a strangled yelping sound as they finally come to a stop. They were lucky that the airbags didn’t do them too much harm despite popping immediately after they were struck on the driver’s side. But unfortunately that means that Phillip’s door is not going to be opening anytime soon. And tugging at this seat belt, it seems that’s stuck too.

“E-Ellie!” He turns to look at the young blonde woman, cataloging every inch of her he can see with his eyes. He feels a little woozy, but mostly it’s just his nerves having been shaken up. “Are you okay?”

Aside from the shock in her eyes, there’s no blood in sight that he can see and Phillip lets out a breath of relief at that. She looks fine. Or as fine as one can be while in labor and having just gotten caught in a multi car accident.

“Peachy.” She grimaced. “You okay?”

He nods.

“We’re wedged in pretty good.” Phillip tells her as he looks out the windows. They’re surrounded by cars on just about all sides, meaning there’s no way to simply get out and try to walk towards the hospital (maybe flag down an ambulance on the way). It’s a good thing his phone somehow managed to stay on the dashboard phone holder through all of that, so Phillip reaches over and dials 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

He recognizes that voice.

“Maddie?”

“D-dad?!” It’s clear she wasn’t expecting to hear him on the other end of an emergency call. “Oh my god, are you okay? Is it Charlie?”

It takes Phillip a second to recall that Charlie was staying over at one of Buck and Tommy’s friends’ houses; their older children were babysitting. “Charlie is at your friend Hen’s house.” He tells Maddie. “N-no. It’s Ellie and me. We’ve just been in an accident.” He looks over at Ellie and catches her wincing as another contraction hits. They seem like they’re still a good amount of time apart, but it’s also been far too long since the last time Phillip had been in the vicinity of someone in labor.

Maddie’s voice in his ear brings him back to the conversation at hand.

“An accident?” She pauses, before speaking again, “oh no…not the one on Hollywood.”

“That’s the one.” So the car’s GPS tells him; it’s impressive that it’s still working. “We’re stuck. Too many cars blocking us in.”

“Are you and Ellie okay?”

He puts the phone on speaker.

“We…” Phillip checks on Ellie again and she reaches out to rest a hand on his arm, smiling to reassure him even though it comes off as a little strained given their circumstances. “…are fine, but Maddie, Ellie’s in labor.”

“Oh! Okay, we’ve already dispatched several stations to head that way, and…” There’s the distinct sound of typing and Maddie is speaking to someone next to her, and Phillip vaguely recalled that her friend Josh usually works alongside her. Less than a minute or so later, she’s back speaking to him, “the 118 is one of them.”

That’s good, Phillip thinks, glad that they’d get out of here soon enough, especially Ellie, whose hand on his arm tightens painfully.

She hisses out a breath and calls out, “better hurry! We may be stuck but this baby doesn’t seem to understand that!” It was loud enough that Maddie clearly heard and more typing sounds reached Phillip’s ear.

Seconds later, Maddie tells them, “gonna call in air support, too. Get you guys transported to the hospital faster that way.”

“F-fast—ooooooh shit—fast is good.”

Phillip nods even though Maddie can’t see him.

There’s some more reassurance and off in the distance, he thinks he hears sirens. He lets Maddie off the phone—she has more people to help—but not before telling her their possible location somewhere in the middle of the crash, and turns to Ellie. They’ve already been here for a while, but rescue is on the way. Through the windows behind Ellie, Phillip sees the red tops of firetrucks and ambulances.

“Help is coming.”

“T-told you—uuuuungh—I should have driven.” Ellie tells him. Her contracts are coming way too fast, now and Phillip is starting to get anxious.

“Is this really the time for that, Ellie?”

“Why? You got some place else to be, Mr. B?”

He shakes his head, and moves to hold her hand, which she grips tightly, a grateful smile on her face.

MVAs are as familiar to firefighters like Buck as actual fires are. If he really thinks about it, he’s probably attended to more car accidents than he’s walked into burning buildings. But it's not often that he’s showing up at the site of a call to find familiar faces caught in an accident; even less so when those faces are that of his dad and the woman carrying him and his husband’s child.

They’ve been told on the way over by dispatch what to expect. Specifically, Maddie had patched into their truck to let them know, tacking on at the end that, “Ellie is in labor.”

Because of course she is.

“At least it’s not a collapsed building this time.” He tells himself (and the rest of the team).

“You Buckleys just can’t do anything by halves.” Eddie knocks into his shoulder, a grin on his face, there to reassure and calm Buck down as much as possible.

“I’d like to point out that Maddie’s labor—both times—was relatively normal.” Chim pipes in. “This is just a Buck thing.”

“Maddie said they were alright, so there’s that.” Hen says, always the most sensible and soothing (aside from Bobby).

“Alright team, let’s go.” The Captain claps his hands once as the truck pulls to a stop. Out the window, there are dozens of cars haphazardly strewn around the middle of Hollywood Freeway. Buck hesitates for a second, but a nudge from Eddie has him scrambling out of the cab to follow.

Once they’re on the ground, he stretches on to his toes, trying to see if he can spot his dad’s SUV, but there’s just too many cars in all shapes, sizes, and colors in their way.

“Cap…”

“Dispatch says that Phillip and Ellie are likely somewhere in the middle. We work our way in, triage what we can.” Bobby’s voice was firm and his gaze holding Buck’s never strayed. He’s being told to stay focused, and even though he is very much worried, Buck nods back his acquiescence.

So that’s what they do, but when they’re a little over ten cars in, Buck finally catches sight of the same rental that’s been parked on his driveway for weeks now. That’s his dad’s car.

As if the universe is trying to help, Bobby catches his eyes at the same time he looks over at the captain. With a single nod, Buck is running off climbing over cars and leaping over fallen bumpers to get to his family. Behind him there’s the sound of someone following, but he doesn’t have time to turn and see who—though he suspects he knows.

He and Eddie reach the SUV one after the other; inside, Phillip has already turned to look at them.

“Dad! Dad!” Buck yells, before leaning over to look at Ellie through the cracked windshield. “Ellie!”

Through the mosaic’d glass Buck sees his surrogate (and friend now) give him a thumbs up that shakes a little too much. However far along she had been at the time of the 911 call, it must be even closer now.

He starts checking out the car.

As Phillip told Maddie, their car is wedged in pretty well from pretty much all sides, though surprisingly not as damaged as it could have been in a multi car MVA like this.

“We gotta get them out.”

“Saws and jaws?” Eddie calls out, followed by the familiar sound of the rotor saw powering up.

Normally, Buck would be the first to jump at the chance to use the heavy equipment, but he doesn’t think he has it in him to do that today. Instead, he takes a step back and observes Eddie (not joined by Chimney), working to pry open the only door that isn’t blocked—the warped door of the driver’s side. Above him, he hears the loud rotors of a helicopter, and when Buck looks up, he sees the familiar 1701 tail number on the LAFD AirOps hovering over top of their position.

There’s no room for the chopper to land next to them, not only it’s on top of some cars, but Buck sees an open spot about a little over a hundred feet to the north of them, where the accident essentially ends.

And Tommy must be thinking the same thing because his radios crackles to life and it’s his husband’s voice he hears.

“Firefighter Kinard speaking. No place to land here, will be dropping down 125 feet north of here. Can the patient be moved that far?” To the untrained ear, Tommy sounds as calm and professional as ever, but Buck has been with the man for years now, and he knows all his tells. Worry and nerves are laced through every word, but even so, he knows the older man’s flying is always steady.

If anyone can get Ellie and their baby to the hospital safely, it’ll be Tommy.

Everything becomes a frenzied blur after the door to Phillip’s rental pops open. He and Eddie help his dad out first and then it’s Eddie and Chim checking on Ellie’s vitals and helping to move her out of the car while Buck stands on the sidelines next to Phillip. He was glad to have the older man’s hand on his arm, helping ground him.

It simultaneously feels like no time at all and half of forever, but they get Ellie onto a gurney and then he’s running alongside, her hand gripping his as they make haste for Tommy’s chopper. The decision of who goes with Ellie is made fast and simple. Buck, of course, and Chim, because if the baby really was coming as urgently as everything may suggest, they’d need at least a paramedic on hand. Plus, Buck was really hoping not to have to help birth his own kid a second time…in the midst of another emergency.

As he and Chim help Ellie inside, laying her down on the floor of the chopper, he catches Tommy’s eyes as the older man radios ahead to the hospital, giving them all the needed information. His husband smiles at him, blue eyes twinkling softly; this situation may not be ideal, or even how they’d imagined it, but it is also so undeniably…them…to be caught in something like this.

Buck wouldn’t want to share this with anyone else.

“Alright, let’s get this pregnant lady to the hospital so she can have our baby!” Tommy’s voice greets his ears the second he puts the head set on both Ellie and himself.

“Just try not to crash, Kinard.” The words are pushed out through gritted teeth and only receives a round of laughs from the pilot who easily takes them into the air, headed for Cedars Sinai.

“Let’s not joke about that, Ellie.” Because Buck did not need that put out into the universe, not with his luck. “Please.”

“Ugh—fuuuuuuck—y-you’re supposed to be the lesser worry-wort here, Buck.”

“No jinxes, Ellie.”

Buck takes the time to situate himself behind the blonde surrogate, letting her rest against his body.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asks, hand held tightly in Ellie’s iron grip. He winces when she squeezes a little too hard, but makes no other indication that his fingers might be on the way to being broken. His eyes are focused on Ellie but his ear is tuned to Chim. This isn’t the first time Buck had to deal with childbirth in unexpected places, not even this first that a child of his is being born somewhere that’s decidedly not a hospital. And really…this is starting to become a pattern.

“The plan is…” Ellie lets out another long hiss of pain and Buck turns in time to see Chim’s head ducking under the turnout—Buck’s own—they’d thrown over her legs for some modicum of modesty. “…that I see the head crowning and I’m going to catch your kid like a football soon enough.”

“I really wish you would refer to my son like that, Howie.” Tommy’s voice calls to them through the head sets from up front.

He’s doing his best to get them all to the hospital as steady as possible. But giving birth in a moving helicopter isn’t that simple.

When Ellie lets out a full on scream, Chim actually positions himself into a catching position, fully ready to greet the coming baby with both hands. Buck, for his part, moves to cradle Ellie better in the vee of his legs and lets her lean her clammy head against his.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck. I need to push—now.”

“Okay, okay, this baby really isn’t willing to wait.” Chimney tells them at the same time.

“Nope, he’s my little football now.” The words are whispered reverently as the paramedic stares down at the sticky, fluid covered bundle in his arms.

Chim carefully puts the baby on top of Ellie’s chest (umbilical cord still attached) and then b whatever is left of Buck’s heart is completely stolen by his son. He’s got a mop of light brown hair—likely to lighten or darken in the future—the cutest little nose that reminds him of Tommy, but a mouth that was more Buck. Even though it’s impossible that this new baby shares both their DNAs, he can see pieces of both his husband and himself there. It probably doesn’t hurt that Ellie could very well resemble one of the Buckley siblings in physical appearance—a dead ringer for Buck’s sister more than Maddie, as his actual sister liked to joke.

And then the chopper’s interior quakes a little as they finally touch down on the helipad atop Cedars Sinai. When the doors of the helicopter opened, there was a full med staff waiting for them, gurney and all.

“28, Female. Went into labor prior to being caught in a car accident. Initial check indicates no injuries. Active labor occurred during transport; birth mother and baby are both stable. Placenta has not been delivered yet.” Chim relays all the information as a team of doctors and nurses help situate Ellie and the baby.

Tommy comes to join Buck’s side as they’re all ushered through the doors.

There’s a moment where he turns to Tommy and Tommy looks at him, and it’s just the two of them—everything and everyone else falls away. They’re parents again. And their baby looks perfect.

“Charlie is going to be so excited.” Buck whispers as he leans up to give Tommy a small kiss.

Phillip is starting to think he maybe has a tracker on him somewhere; he wouldn’t put it past Margaret to chip him like a dog, but he also thinks that would be unseemly if such information got out, so probably not. Though it doesn’t explain why she keeps showing up where he is. Even if the accident on the highway had garnered quite a bit of attention, there’s nothing that says he—they—had been caught up in it.

Yet, here she was, making her way through the hospital’s sliding doors, like a fly that just won’t go away. And she’s already talking a mile a minute.

“Really, Margaret?” He stops and asks her, watching out of the corner of his eyes as everyone else is ushered through another set of hospital doors. “This is a hospital. Stop your harping.”

“A love child, Phillip?! And you have the audacity to yell at me?” A hand reaches for him and perfectly manicured nails dig into his arm as she steps closer. Phillip wants to take a step back, but Margaret’s grip is tight. “You’re old enough to be that whore’s father. Have you no shame?!”

That does piss Phillip off though, but he’s never been a loud man even in his anger, that had always been Margaret’s area. Instead he yanks his arm away and slowly lays it out for his soon-to-be ex-wife, “that lovely young woman is doing a wonderful thing for our son. Don’t you dare insult her more than you already have.”

Shock and confusion flicker over her features.

Whatever he said just now must have struck something in Margaret and the woman stumbles back a step. Her hand leaves his and goes up to clutch at her pearls. Like a real life caricature of those 60s housewives from old magazines—how had he never realized that’s who he had been married to? Been placating to? Phillip shakes his head and makes to walk away, only for Margaret’s voice to halt his steps.

“What nonsense are you on about now?” She asks him, but it’s clear the woman has already come to her own conclusions, because her face twists into an ugly expression. It’s one that Phillip is more familiar with than he’d like; one he’d been blinded to for too many years.

But still, he decided to explain anyway, “Ellie is Buck’s—”

“His name is Evan for goodness sake.” She scoffs, interrupting him.

“Not to you, Margaret. And Ellie is Buck’s surrogate.” He ignores her.

“She’s what?!”

One would think Phillip had just told her the end of the world was coming, and it came in the form of giant rainbow flag waving naked men, the way she looked so aghast. As if knowing she is gaining a new grandchild is actually the worst thing in the world. Unlike Phillip, who is itching to be done with this asinine conversation so that he can go and see the newest edition to the Buckley-Kinard family.

“A surrogate. Who helped our son and his husband have a child.” It’s not dissimilar to talking to a five year old, “that baby is our grandson, Margaret.”

“T-that—” She looks like she’s choking and for a dark moment, Phillip rather enjoys that thought. But he quickly shakes it off as Margaret starts spouting more nonsense. “Absolutely not. Bad enough his…his kind is raising one child already, they’re just going to allow him a second one?!”

He’s never wanted to hit someone more, Phillip thinks, fists clenched at his sides. Divorce certainly can’t come fast enough, and he makes a mental note to contact his lawyers about starting the process.

“Allow them?” He laughs in disbelief. Years he had wasted on Margaret and her feelings and the need to completely rid their house (and lives) of Daniel’s presence. Phillip doesn’t know what came over him to make him agree to her shenanigans…to ruin his relationships with Maddie and Buck—especially Buck—but he’s never been more glad they had confronted Buck that snowy day in Hershey. “Do you hear yourself, Margaret?” Phillip asks, already knowing what answer he’d receive.

Margaret had always bought into all the ridiculously bigoted things that float around upper-middle class circles like theirs. The people she surrounded herself with were the type whose husbands are usually out shtupping their younger, nicer, secretaries (male or female). People Phillip would talk and laugh with but always feel some element of discomfort with.

“It’s abnormal.”

“It’s not.” He sounds tired even to his own ears.

“Don’t you know what kinds of people they are? Deviants that shouldn’t be around children.” Margaret bullies on, “they’ll only corrupt them. Teach them to be g—”

That was the last straw.

“Do. Not. Finish that sentence Margaret. That is our son and his husband and this is a happy moment. Do not ruin it like you’ve ruined all their other ones, like you’ve ruined our lives just because you refused to deal with Daniel’s death.” It was satisfying to see her fall back as if he’d actually slapped her.

“H-how dare you say his name…” There’s a tell tale quiver to her voice, but now, it sounds as fake to Phillip as it really is.

“Who? Daniel? Our son?”

“Sto—”

His feet move to step forward but instead he falls back, puts more distance between the two of them as the words just spill out of him,“our son—don’t you remember him—who would have loved his baby brother no matter what and would have been so happy to know that Evan—that Buck—has made himself a beautiful family. No thanks to either of us. Daniel was important, but I’ve finally realized that his importance to you wasn’t because he was our child, but because he was another check mark on your perfect family list. So when he died, you erased everything, happy to pretend Daniel simply never existed.” Phillip takes a deep breath. “I was so stupid…to have agreed to your every whim. But I know better now…”

“It’s…wrong, Phillip. You—you can’t condone this type of behavior. You just can’t.” She’s shaking her head and Phillip thinks he even sees tears blurring Margaret’s blue eyes.

He feels nothing but pity for her.

“Shut up, Margaret.”

She gasps, “you can’t talk to me like that!”

“I can if you’re going to talk about our son like that.” Because enough is enough. There is a beautiful new grandson waiting for him, he doesn’t have time for this.”

“No son of mine is—is…that.” She tries to step closer, but Phillip easily sidesteps her attempts.

“You can’t even say it, Margaret?” He shakes his head, huffing out a humorless laugh.

Out of his periphery, he sees the familiar figures of Buck’s captain—a man who Buck (and his little family) views as a second dad, someone Phillip is admittedly still a bit intimidated by—and his wife, the police sergeant. And with them is Charlie, perched in Bobby’s arms, happily talking her PopBob’s ear off. Athena is still in uniform, clearly only taking a moment off duty for family matters, and her appearance quells whatever else Margaret may have wanted to say.

Phillip smiles at the three of them, returning his granddaughter’s enthusiastic greeting with one of his own, before turning to stare at Margaret. Her blue eyes narrow as she takes in the new people, mouth thinning into a stiff line.

“Problem, Phillip?” Athena asks him, but her eyes are trained only on Margaret. That police sergeant voice of hers carries loud and clear.

Phillip shakes his head; this was his problem that he needed to take care of. So he waves them on, telling them about the room number held vaguely remembered hearing what seemed like forever—but was actually only minutes—ago.

Watching them walk through the same doors the rest of the 118 team had gone through, the urge to see his grandson grew exponentially.

He was done with this conversation.

“Goodbye, Margaret. Expect a call from my lawyer.”

With that, Phillip turned to follow after Athena and Bobby, eager to join the rest of the family—because that’s exactly what this ragtag bunch of people in his son’s life is—and get a look at his newest grandchild. He doesn’t bother to spare another glance behind him; whatever Margaret wants to do is no longer his business.

Buck looks down at the bundle in his arms, then up at Tommy as the older man steps up to him. They share a long moment between the two of them; both of them look a little harried, hair mussed, Buck in half his turn out while Tommy is still in his flight suit, but they’re grinning like fools.

Together, their gaze shifts down to the baby blinking up at them, crystal blue eyes looking around and checking out this strange new world with strange new people.

“Chase Alexander Buckley-Kinard.” Buck whispers and knows the exact second Tommy recognizes the name. There’s the tiniest sharp inhale in his ear and then arms snake around his waist, pulling him (and the baby) in closer.

“Alexander?” The surprise in Tommy’s voice breaks Buck’s heart a little. But there’s more joy than anything else, because his husband is looking at him in awe and wonderment. They hadn’t really discussed middle names too much, vetoing most of the suggestions their friends and family had come up with—Eddie thought Edmundo would have been a fine addition. In the end, Buck had settled on Alexander.

“For you mom. Alessia. Alexander.”

“Evan,” he’s tugged even closer and lips graze against his birthmark, lingering there for a soft kiss. “Thank you,” the words murmured against the wine stain colored blemish.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

They stay there, leaning against each other, just them and their new baby.

“Bug!” Is projected clearly across the room and there is Charlotte, carried in Phillip’s arms, hands stretched towards them, impatience written all over her furrowed little brows. “Daddy, papa, wanna see bug!”

Buck and Tommy shift their bodies to reveal the baby. Charlotte stares down at Chase, mouth dropping open in the cutest little o-shape.

“He’s so…scrunchy!”

Everyone around them—their family—laughs, filling the room with joy.