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Choji knew he had to be going crazy. There was no other explanation for how mad the wheels in his brain were turning in a desperate attempt to figure out a problem that was simple. Or at the least, it should have been simple.
He scrubbed his hands against his temples with a groan, listening to the faint congratulations and the sound of party poppers echoing off the high rafters in the theatre. Muffled as the sound was from where he sat on the roof, he knew that the others were definitely having the time of their life — sharing meals, drinking juice or the bit of liquor someone slipped from one of the restaurants nearby, and fighting over delicious slices of strawberry cake topped with sweet whip cream.
Choji's stomach rumbled at the thought of biting into a big tart strawberry, but he couldn't bring himself to move. Because all of them were down there celebrating a special occasion that they'd been preparing for, and he couldn't be the only one to show up empty handed. He'd already done that enough over the last year or so; how could he be so shameless to come to Jo's birthday party without even a gift?
But what was I supposed to get him anyway?
Groaning, Choji let himself fall back against the roof with his arms and legs splayed out. The sky didn't offer up any answers for him but it at least looked a little pretty. Clouds shaped like towering, tufty pillars floated across an orange-tinted sky crowning each of them with a golden halo. The sun was beginning to fall past the horizons, and outside of the clamor of the Ori, he could see the district beginning to awaken as storefronts lit up their lanterns and people emerged from their homes. Red and orange gleamed on the horizon reminiscent of fireworks in the midst of shattering, as they hurtled down to the ground in near suspension before fizzling out.
That's right, Jo said we should go see the fireworks together this year since we missed them last time.
Choji turned over onto his side, facing the graffiti-filled wall that'd lost its definition from the long gangly shadows stretching across the concrete. He imagined them twisting and turning into the shapes of people. Remembering faces was always difficult for him but he could almost recall the battles that he'd been waging over the last year. Or at least, the impression of how unsatisfying they were. Who was he fighting during the time Jo was taking over working for his folks during that time of year?
Mulling it over for a second, not a single face would come to mind but the shadows on the wall converged into two. One which he recognized as himself though he couldn't be bothered to think about what he looked like at the time — hadn't someone gotten close to landing a punch on him? He'd been so disappointed when they didn't hold up after a few kicks.
Didn't I go to see Kame-chan after that?
The other shadows shifted into one, tall but relaxed as if he couldn't be bothered to show the same amount of concern as the others.It gained a little more definition as Choji's mind filled in a few of the details — heavy-lidded eyes widening when they noticed him, a quivering mouth tightening at the corners before pushing up into a smile. And that voice, syrupy sweet and gentle, "Choji… what'd you get into this time?"
Heat flushed his cheeks when he remembered how Jo coaxed him to sit down and wait for him behind one of the emptied stalls. He impressed on him several times to stay there and wait but everything in Choji wanted to follow after him, or at least know what fun things he was getting up to. He'd always had a hard time staying still and having someone else tell him what to do made his skin crawl, but there was a way Jo spoke to him that didn't make it feel like that.
Jo always had a way of saying things as if he was looking out for Choji, not wanting Choji to do as he said. It's why he remembered to stay put, and brightened up when Jo came back with chilled bottles of ramune, yakitori skewers, and a first aid kit. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur as far as Choji remembered but he couldn't get Jo's face out of his mind. How his hands caressed the underside of Choji's as if he was fragile enough that a stronger touch would break him to pieces; how he tied the bandages and continued asking whether it was too tight or not.
The promise to hang out with him after his shift although he was likely tired after having to deal with so many people throughout the day. But he made time for Choji — always for him.
Choji pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes until they throbbed, groaning and kicking his feet back and forth. That was just one time but there were likely plenty of others where Jo put everything aside for him. And on the one day that mattered most, he was hiding out on the roof rather than being down there with him and their team.
I'm so—
"What are you doing, Choji?"
Choji squeaked, bolting upright then whirling around to find the door to the rooftop opened. Out of the dimness of the stairwell, a silver-haired teenager stepped onto the rooftop with a bottle of barley tea hanging from his fingertips and his jersey slung over his right shoulder.
"Wani-chan?" Choji asked, rising up to his knees when the bottle was tossed at him. He managed to catch it without thinking but he stared up at Wanijima instead. "What're you doing up here?"
"Was just about to ask you the same thing," Wani-chan said, tucking his hands in his pockets. "I thought you would have been the first to congratulate Jo. Imagine my surprise when he said that he hasn't seen you all day."
Choji's shoulders tensed; it felt like running away to avert his eyes but he couldn't keep his composure at the mention of Jo. He sank back onto his butt, crossing his legs with the bottle nursed between his hands. The coolness of it was great with how warm his skin felt but the murky, sticky feeling creeping into his chest made it hard to appreciate it. He traced the grooves of the bottle to ground himself, trying to force feeling back into the numbness of his body.
"Was Kame-chan… mad?" He asked, glancing up to Wani-chan. Thankfully, he wasn't looking at him anymore, his golden gaze turned toward where the buildings belonging to the heart of the district illuminated the night sky with a golden glow. He hummed, tilting his chin up to the sky with a blown out breath.
"I wouldn't say that. Just disappointed."
Choji choked on an inhale, turning his face down to his lap. Disappointed, huh? He pressed his lips together tightly to stifle their quiver. Would it have been better if he'd just come clean to him, admitting that he couldn't decide on what to get him even though he wanted to? Would he have felt better the—
"What's on your mind?"
Startled, Choji blinked then blinked a few more times before lifting his head. Wani-chan was looking at him again but this time it was with the genteel patience Choji could never quite understand. It wasn't like Jo who looked after him and came to an eventual decision, always at his own pace, and never without a bit of humor. Wani-chan's way of talking was quick, almost snappish and always came out of nowhere. If Jo's sincerity caught him off guard, Wani-chan's suddenness knocked Choji completely off-kilter.
"I…" Choji hesitated, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from looking away. Wani-chan would definitely understand, wouldn't he? "Did everyone get presents for Kame-chan?"
Wani-chan blinked, head swaying one way then the other before he hiked his shoulders. "Probably not," he said, to Choji's surprise. "Things've changed since the last time we'd celebrated Jo's birthday but it's not like he's particularly close to anyone now. Aside from you that is…"
"B-But, how can you have a party without presents?!" Choji cried, leaping to his feet with the bottle clutched tightly in one fist. "Isn't that sad? Kame-chan deserves to have delicious food, and lots of presents, and all of his friends thanking him for being born!"
Wani-chan sighed, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at him. "Which makes it weirder that you're up here rather than by his side, don't you think?"
"Eh?" Choji rocked back on his heels, blinking slowly.
"He's spoiled you so much since you two have known each other, but, now you're starting to consider how he feels - right?"
Ah, that was right. He had been thinking about Jo while not actually thinking too much about how Jo would react to what he would give him. Running over everything that he knew of him and sprinting off ahead without recognizing that Jo wasn't even at the startling line. Did he even know that he was being thought of this much? Would that have been enough to make him happy?
Wani-chan leaned in further; golden eyes and slitted pupils trained on Choji's. "So, what do you think he would feel you should do at this moment?"
It may have been rude and he would definitely apologize later, but he flung the bottle of tea to him and took off toward the open doorway. If Wani-chan had anything else to say the words were lost to the wind. The dark stairwell swallowed Choji whole but a lack of visibility never stopped him before. His sneakers skittered over the steps as he didn't bother taking longer than a touch before moving on to the next, swinging himself over the banister until he'd reached the bottommost steps. Light flooded the stage hall, and the seats occupied with their members sharing food and laughter.
"Oh, it's Tomiyama-san," someone called out, and several of the eyes in the room turned toward Choji as he rushed out onto the stage. A folding table was set up with several dishes and serving platters laid out on top. In the midst of it was the most beautiful white, strawberry-topped cake Choji had ever sen! But the chocolate card in the center with the picture of a smiling turtle snapped him back into focus. He turned around, squinting against the blinding glare of the lights to try and find him — gentle green eyes, a warm indulgent smile, soft dark hair.
Where are you, Kame-chan?
Choji leapt off the stage to the surprised gasps, and confused mutters of those who were seated in the lower row of the audience. Going row by row, he looked for anywhere Jo could have been hiding out. If he was disappointed as Wani-chan said, then he was likeliest to have curled in on himself somewhere — retreated into his shell so to speak. But where was the question.
"Tomiyama-san, we're about to cut the cake!" Someone else called out from the stage, and Choji shook his head. He couldn't afford to be distracted now.
"I'll be back in a bit —" He shouted over his shoulder, turning around as he went for the doors leading out to the reception hal. "Oh!" — The thought sprang to mind when he realized that they had all been with Jo throughout the day. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he shouted over the chatter, "Where's Kame-chan?!"
Conversations stopped abruptly, or continued on in quiet tones, but most of their attention was on him. Someone seated on the upper floor leaned over the railing, half-obscured by the lights as they said, "Huh? Uh, he stepped outside for a bit."
"Had to take a leak, probably?" Another muttered, snickering.
Choji pulled his lips to one side. That was all vague, but he could work with it. He shoved the doors opened, running through the emptier halls of the theatre until he'd circled the entire lot at least once. Eventually, he found his way to the back of it and threw open the doors leading to the alleyway. His eyes widened at the sight of a tall silhouette wearing one of their jerseys and leaned against the wall with his cellphone in hand, the blue light illuminating the glassiness in his green eyes.
Choji's heart ached as he remembered Wani-chan's words, and practically threw himself forward as he cried, "Kame-chan!"
As slow as he could be sometimes, Jo could move faster if he actually wanted to. And this time, he did, looking up and stowing away his phone before throwing out his arms to catch Choji. The dull thump of his back against the brick wall and his soft, questioning mutter of Choji was joined by a fleeting touch to Choji's nape, and the back of his head, as though Jo was searching him for an injury. He squeezed his eyes shut, burrowing his head insistently against the warmth of Jo's chest.
He's always kind to me like this.
"What's wrong?" Jo asked, resting his hands on Choji's shoulders as he gently tried to pry him off.
Choji allowed it, since it was much easier to take a breath when he wasn't practically smothering himself in Jo's shirt. But the moment he saw his face, he couldn't hold it back anymore and shouted, "Happy Birthday!"
Jo blinked, mouth opening then closing before he let out an uncertain laugh. "T-That's what this is all about?"
"Whaddya mean?!" Choji wrinkled his nose, pressing up on his toes to bring his face closer to Jo's. It was harder to see him in the dark, but his eyes had always sparkled whenever their gaze met. Just like they were now. "You were born today, Kame-chan!"
In response to that, Jo's brows furrowed. Slowly, he answered, "I know that, but—"
Choji shook his head, "No buts!" He shouted, then softened his voice when Jo's frown deepened, "You were born and it makes me happy, super duper happy! We can spend time together today, and tomorrow, and every day after that—!"
If this day never existed, then Jo wouldn't either, and something about that lit a fire beneath Choji's heels. More than anything, he wanted to lay eyes on him. To know that he was still somewhere and that they were still together despite everything. He knew the words were coming out clumsily, but he couldn't help talking about it all anyway.
"I'm sorry it took me so l—!" Choji yelped, his words being cut off when he was practically pulled up against Jo with his face tucked against his shoulder. Warm fingers curled into the back of his hair, stroking down to his nape before returning. Choji trembled uncertainly, lifting his hands to grip at Jo's back. The feeling of Jo's arms tightening around him in return led him to holding him a little tighter, burying his face against his shoulder and closing his eyes.
They stood there like that for awhile before Jo pulled back from him, and Choji realized that he was shaking from the little shudder in his voice, "Thank you, Choji."
Choji blinked up at him, eyebrows drawn and lips curved in a little smile. "Mm, you're welcome. So! Why don't we have some cake?"
"Okay, okay," Jo laughed, and Choji grasped his hand tightly before pulling him back inside.
While the crowd bellowed a botched song of 'Happy Birthday' to a smiling Jo, and an equally boisterous and off-beat Choji, Wanijima sat in one of the balconies while leisurely sipping his tea. He glanced up at the sound of footsteps but only gave a short nod when Sako took up a seat beside him. Not a word passed between them but Wanijima had a feeling they were both watching the same thing. Jo cut another slice of cake for Choji, putting it on his plate before offering him the strawberry of his own to which Choji cut it in half and they shared both pieces.
"Do you think they'll ever realize it?" Sako said wearily, and Wanijima laughed.
"I used to think not," he said, quiet and fond at the way Choji watched Jo as he ate. "But I've been wrong before."