Work Text:
It was a typical workday for Alhaitham. His pen scratched aimlessly across dozens of papers, correcting mistakes and fixing errors. His signature would occasionally sign across various forms, affirming that he had read the document in front of him. Intermittent stamps would rise and fall around his desk, labeling the sheets with words like “approved” or “denied” or “needs further review”.
All the work was familiar to him, and despite taking it all very seriously, his mind often zoned out doing his work. His actions came to him rhythmically, flowing smoothly as he filtered from one document to the next.
Although many others would classify so much paperwork as overly tedious, Alhaithams trance-like rhythm meant that he could work for hours if he needed to. He had, infact, more than once stayed late. Not because he needed to, but simply because he had lost track of time in his working trance.
This happened to be one of those nights.
It was far later than Alhaitham had stayed in a while, so much so that the sun had long set that evening.
The work load was indeed higher than normal this evening, which perhaps was why he had been so entranced with the paperwork. Or perhaps he was unconsciously avoiding home after what happened yesterday.
Yesterday.
Alhaitham didn’t want to think about yesterday, but it plagued his mind.
He and his roommate, Kaveh, had gotten into an exceptionally heated argument about rent—a topic they had addressed far too many times. Kaveh’s rent was late again. It often upset the senior architect, but nothing to the degree of last night. Something about mentioning it this time really upset Kaveh.
Truthfully, Alhaitham never really minded Kaveh’s rent being late. He easily would let the senior live in his house for free, if he asked. But to allow that situation to occur would be admitting another situation between the two residents. A situation, perhaps, that at least one of them wasn’t ready to admit to.
But regardless of how much Alhaitham didn’t need Kaveh’s money, Alhaitham only ever asked about rent to help Kaveh. Perhaps it sounded silly, but Alhaitham created this rent routine to help Kaveh. He had hoped that the architect would create a cycle for himself, and this cycle would push him to be independent and stable. The Scribe knew that Kaveh was far more capable than he gave himself credit, and Alhaitham wanted his senior to see that. He would occasionally push and challenge Kaveh, but not out of resentment or loathing. Rather, he pushed Kaveh to try to help the architect instill some confidence in himself. His pushing was an act of love.
Last night however, Kaveh spiraled at the mention of rent. The architect had apologized profusely for being late again, muttering self-deprecating things about himself as a result. No matter how hard Alhaitham tried to interject, Kaveh wouldn’t hear it. The argument felt aimless, running in circles over and over until Kaveh disappeared into his room for the night with the slam of his door.
Alhaitham had wanted desperately to follow him. To explain everything, trying to make the architect understand that it wasn’t really about the rent and he shouldn’t beat himself up about it. Perhaps he should have followed. But he also wanted to give Kaveh space. At least until morning.
Alhaitham paused his rhythm of paperwork and stared at the documents in front of him. He let out a long and heavy sigh, leaning back in his chair as he rested his hands flat against the desk. Yesterday’s argument replayed in his mind again.
The scribe wanted to do something to make up for the argument, or at least affirm that he wasn’t upset with Kaveh about the situation at all. Kaveh had a habit of remembering things for a long time, and Alhaitham had learned that while Kaveh sometimes needed his space, an issue couldn’t remain unsolved for long. Lest he cause Kaveh more anxiety. The best solution Alhaitham could come up with would be creating a kind gesture to try to make up for the incident.
The scribe’s thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knock at the door. Alhaitham looked up from the papers in front of him, his hazel eyes now scanning the timid looking woman peeking her head into his office.
He didn’t particularly recognize this girl, but her outfit indicated she was a member of the matra. She must be a newer member, he thought. The girl kept her head low and seemed to be overly shy about interrupting the scribe.
“Pardon the interruption, Scribe Alhaitham, um, sir, but I was told to give you a message directly from General Mahamatra Cyno,” she squeaked. She fiddled with her hands, fingers picking at her nails. A nervous habit, no doubt.
Alhaitham blinked at the girl, his posture shifting slightly forward. “A message from Cyno?” The General Mahamatra generally only reached out to Alhaitham when there was a serious matter that required his assistance. However, considering Cyno wasn’t here himself, it likely wasn’t too important, right? If the matter was more pressing, he would surely be here in person. “Alright, what’s the message?”
The girl sighed shakily, pinching her fingers together. “General Mahamatra Cyno wanted me to inform you that there was a situation at the tavern regarding Kaveh.”
“Kaveh?” Alhaitham’s breath hitched as the muscles in his shoulders tensed.
“Yes, sir, he um, appears to have gotten into a fight with other customers whilst drinking. General Mahamatra Cyno requested you return home as soon as you are able,” she continued.
Alhaitham’s heart pounded intensely in his chest, and the world around him seemed to be covered in a fuzzy grey haze. A soft buzz rang in his ears, and it wasn’t from his headphones. His body moved on its own, shaky hands quickly gathering his things as the girl continued to talk. Alhaitham wasn’t listening much; he was focused on getting to Kaveh quickly. All his ears managed to catch was “hurt” and “emergency.” Thus, with a flash of green, Alhaitham had thrown his cloak over his shoulders and rushed out the door before the poor girl could finish her sentence.
Alhaitham burst into a full sprint. He had to get home as soon as he could, and he didn’t much care what happened along his path.
Papers being carried by students were sent flying through the halls as Alhaitham rushed past with an intense gust of wind. Visitors shouted and ducked out of the way as he flew past them, desperate to avoid being ran over by this large, frantic scribe.
Alhaitham didn’t typically care about what others thought of him, but this moment proved how true that statement was. He continued his sprint through the Akedemia, flinging the entrance doors open with a bang as he made his way out into Sumeru City. He was usually so calm and quiet, nonchalant and practically avoidant of others. Surely the sight of the scribe Alhaitham, sprinting through the city was a shock for anyone to see.
But he didn’t care what people thought of the situation. All he cared about right now was Kaveh.
Kaveh. What happened to him?
Alhaitham arrived at his home in record time. Waiting for him outside of his residence was the familiar General Mahamatra Cyno and a few other members of the Matra. The group conversed together, standing in front of the door to his home. A door which was creaked halfway open, shining a golden light over the matra and casting an intimidating shadow along the road. It was a sight one might find in a crime novel. And it didn’t help Alhaitham’s anxiety at all.
Beads of sweat dripped down Alhaitham's face as he approached the matra. His heart continued to pound against his ribs, the rapid pace from far more than the run. The ringing in his ears peaked for a moment before he called out to the people in front of his home. “Cyno! What happened? I was told something happened to Kaveh, is he alright?” The scribe was so frantic, he was almost forgetting to breathe.
Alhaitham was initially heading for the door to his home, but Cyno stepped in front of him. The General Mahamatra was easily a foot shorter than the scribe, but he was quickly prepared for his senior’s force. Cyno managed to be as firm as a brick wall, griping at Alhaitham and preventing him from sprinting inside. The two quickly locked arms, grasping at eachother ferverently. Alhaitham squirmed a bit, desperate to understand what happened and desperate to see Kaveh. Cyno, on the other hand, desperately needed to explain the situation first.
“Alhaitham, wait a moment please,” Cyno begged, trying to hold the scribe steady.
“What do you mean ‘wait a moment’, I thought you said this was an emergency!” Alhaitham’s senses were fuzzy again. His hazel gaze shifted away from Cyno and to the door of his home. That steady light peaking through the opening indicated someone was inside. It had to be Kaveh. Kaveh. I need to see Kaveh.
“Alhaitham, please, Kaveh is okay. Tighnari is tending to him.”
Alhaitham blinked rapidly. But I thought Kaveh was hurt. His gaze snapped back to Cyno, eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean? Tending to him? Cyno, please just tell me what happened!”
Alhaitham was shouting. The scribe seldom ever raised his voice. It was enough to give everyone in the vicinity an intense chill.
Cyno tried his best to remain calm. He had to. Kaveh was Cyno’s friend too, of course, but so was Alhaitham, as reluctantly as they might say it. Usually in situations like this, Alhaitham was the calm one, remaining grounded whilst everyone descended into chaos or stress. But right now, Alhaitham couldn’t be that calm and collected person. So Cyno had to be.
“Kaveh was drinking alone at the tavern when he got into an argument with a few other customers. Things escalated rather quickly and the fight turned physical. Kaveh was wounded, but he’s stable. A doctor has already looked at him and Tighnari has been helping as well. The other two involved in the fight have been detained while we figure out what happened.”
Alhaitham gripped Cyno’s arms tighter as he began to tremble. Cyno barely flinched as Alhaitham’s fingers dug into his arms. “But he’s okay? He’s going to be okay?”
Cyno heaved a heavy sigh. “Yes. He will be okay.”
Despite hearing these words, Alhaitham didn’t relax at all. Instead, his gaze shifted from Cyno to the entrance of his home. “Can I see him?”
Cyno loosened his grip on his senior. “Yes, of course, but Alhaitham, I need to warn you. It’s a lot to take in.”
Alhaitham finally released his grip on Cyno. It was quite likely there would be bruises left by his hands, but it didn’t bother Cyno at all. He understood. The General Mahamatra shifted away from the door, making way for Alhaitham to enter his residence.
The scribe slowly reached for his door. He wasn’t actually moving slowly, but time seemed to move slowly around him. He read somewhere that time seemed to slow when experiencing intense fear. Was that what this was? Was he really prepared to see what happened to Kaveh?
Alhaitham pushed the door open fully, eyes widening at the sight in front of him.
Sitting on the couch, battered and bruised, was Kaveh.
The architect’s shirt was removed, revealing the wounds across his entire body. His left arm was wrapped in bandages, indicating that he had sustained a large cut or scrape of some kind. His left wrist was further wrapped in a brace, either a break or a sprain. His chest and abdomen were bruised, hued a deep purple. A sizable bandage was placed over his right pectoral muscle. His left eye had also become dark and swollen, with coloring and bruising extending down the side of his nose. A small bandage covered the bridge of his nose, and his bottom lip was cut. His hair was disheveled, and a small ice pack was sitting on top of his head.
Alhaitham froze. He had never seen Kaveh like this. The beautiful, sun-kissed angel with golden hair that Alhaitham had always known… had become so terribly wounded. The sight alone pulled at Alhaitham’s heartstrings, a deep ache forming in his chest. A tight lump grew in his throat, making it difficult to swallow. It became harder to breathe. Seeing Kaveh like this hurt more than if Alhaitham was hurt himself.
Before Alhaitham could say or even do anything, Tighnari flicked his ear in the scribe’s direction. Truthfully, he had not even noticed the fox, so focused on Kaveh. Tighnari was squatting in front of his housemate, talking softly with the blonde.
Tighnari turned his head to look at the scribe. “Alhaitham, hi. Perfect timing. I just finished.”
“What… what happened?” Was all Alhaitham managed to mutter.
“It looks worse than it is,” Tighnari continued, rising to his feet and stepping to block Alhaitham’s view of Kaveh. “It’s mostly bruises. A few scrapes here and there, but no broken bones or internal bleeding. He’s quite lucky, actually.”
Alhaitham gave a soft sigh of relief, and tried stepping towards Kaveh. However, Tighnari mirrored his movements, blocking the scribe’s path and his view. The fox was around the same height at Cyno, but his ears provided a heightened visual barrier which just barely reached Alhaitham’s line of sight. The scribe didn’t usually mind Tighnari’s ears, but right now, they were annoying. I just want to see him, Alhaitham pleaded in his head. Please.
Tighnari was quick to notice the scribe’s worry, and was quite certain Alhaitham didn’t want to listen to his words at all. However, what the fox had to say was important, so he insisted on trying to block his view. Whether his senior liked it or not. The fox pulled out a few containers from a satchel at his side, and held them in front of Alhaitham.
“Look, this container here is an herbal tea blend. It’s for his pain. He still has a small amount of alcohol in his system which is numbing the pain for now, but once that wears off he is going to need some pain management. Brew it just like any other type of tea, but don’t exceed more than two cups in four hours. This container is a salve for his cuts, it will help with healing, prevent infection, and minimize scarring. And this ointment is for his joints and swelling; it will help reduce inflammation and ease the pain. I have a few more medicines I need to make tonight that will help, but these will be useful for now. I’ll be back in the morning to show you how to change his bandages and go over his treatment plan. Okay?”
Alhaitham was only half listening, so he muttered some “okays” along with occasional nods. He was still trying to look at Kaveh over Tighnari’s ears.
Tighnari sighed, bothered at the fact that Alhaitham wasn’t listening. He understood why, but this was still important to Kaveh’s well being. Tighnari cared for the architect as well, and if he was going to leave Kaveh in Alhaitham’s care for the night, he needed to at least know the basics of tending to his wounds.
“Hey, Alhaitham!” Tighnari snapped his fingers twice, trying to get his attention again. The scribe finally turned and looked at the fox. “Look, all you need to know, is this is for pain, two cups every 4 hours when the alcohol wears off. This is for his cuts, and this is for his joints and swelling. AND I’ll be back in the morning, okay?”
Alhaitham nodded, and swallowed hard. “Okay, I understand. Thank you, Tighnari.”
Tighnari looked back at Kaveh, lowering his voice so only Alhaitham could hear. “And be kind to him. He needs you now more than ever.”
Alhaitham stared at the fox intently for a moment as he placed the ointments and tea on a nearby entry table. Alhaitham’s mind raced with questions. What did the two of them talk about before I arrived? Was there more going on that I didn’t know about? What was the fight about? What drove the fight to be physical? Why were Cyno and Tighnari acting so weird?
Tighnari gave one last look at Alhaitham. His eyes were soft, and his voice gentle. “Cyno and I are here for you both though. You will get through this. He will get through this. It’ll be okay.”
Alhaitham nodded politely as Tighnari walked out the door, closing the door behind him with a click.
Finally, Alhaitham and Kaveh were alone.
The blonde had curled up in a corner of the couch, wrapped in the green blanket they usually kept on the sofa. His gaze had drifted to the floor, not looking at anything in particular. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, although his body seemed surprisingly still. He looked unbearably fragile in this moment, as if a single touch would shatter him into a million pieces.
The scribe stepped towards Kaveh with shakey steps, whispering his name in the gentlest voice he could manage. “Kaveh?”
Kaveh sniffled, not moving from his position. “What?”
“What… what happened?” Alhaitham asked, sitting next to him. He perched himself on the edge of the sofa, making sure to give Kaveh space if he needed it. He understood that sometimes after a physical injury, people didn’t like to be touched. Or at least, he had read that somewhere.
“What does it look like happened?! I got into a stupid fight at the tavern and got my ass kicked!” Kaveh yelled. He didn’t look at the scribe, but he moved his hand up to hold his forehead, shielding his eyes.
Alhaitham tried his hardest not to flinch. “I know that, but how? What led to the fight? It isn’t like you to throw fists in the tavern…” Alhaitham continued, his eyes never leaving Kaveh.
“It doesn’t matter why I got in the fight okay!? It was a stupid decision for me to even go to the tavern anyways. I don’t want to talk about it.” Kaveh sank deeper into the sofa, lowering his head as he tried to further hide in the folds of the blanket.
“But I want to, Kaveh, please. I want to know what happened. Who hurt you?” Alhaitham began to instinctively shift his body towards the blond.
“I told you, it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that it was two drunk people at the bar, talking shit, okay? They said some things I didn’t like, they didn’t like that I called them out, and then they kicked my ass. End of story.” Kaveh sniffled again, as his tears kept flowing. His bruised hands—wrapped in bandages—gripped at the blankets to hug them tighter around himself.
“Kaveh, I know there is more to the story.” Alhaitham was trying desperately to remain calm. And he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold himself back. All he yearned to do was take Kaveh in his arms and hold him.
“But it doesn’t matter, okay! How many times do I have to say that!? It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that I was trying to defend you, because they kicked my ass anyways! And now I’m here, and you’re going to just scold me about how I was stupid for starting a fight at the tavern. So just get it over with!”
Alhaitham was taken aback. “Defend me?”
“Yes! You! I got into a fight because of you!”
Kaveh was rambling, clearly upset now. His voice was breaking. He finally looked up at Alhaitham, his eyes overflowing with tears. His lip was quivering and his whole body was shaking.
“I got into a stupid fight because I wanted to defend you! You! Against two guys I stood no chance against! And now I’m hurt and that’s an inconvenience all because I got in a fight—it was just a stupid drunk decision! All over nothing that really mattered anyways…And I know you want to scream and yell at me for how stupid I was for defending you! How your stupid drunk boyfriend got into a stupid ass fight! So just do it! Tell me how messed up I am!”
The words cut Alhaitham like a knife. The lump in his throat seemed to grow larger, and tears tried to pull at Alhaitham’s eyes.
“I could scold you for what happened, but I am not going to,” he managed to say with a scratchy voice.
“Oh, bullshit! I know how much of a burden I am to you Alhaitham, I know you hate everything I do that inconveniences you. I know you think I’m some dumb architect who can’t pay as much as two mora when rent comes around. I know you can’t stand me Alhaitham, so just yell at me and be done with it! Just tell me how stupid I am!”
“I’m not going to say those things, Kaveh.” Alhaitham gripped at the sofa, trying to restrain himself. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the architect. But he was afraid to touch him. “I don’t believe any of them to be true.”
Alhaitham never once looked down on Kaveh. That was the truth. However, the scribe was well aware that the architect often looked down on himself. He was so self critical, and it pained Alhaitham to see him so self-deprecating. He tried to understand why Kaveh felt this way about himself, but he was never the best at understanding emotions. He had gotten better, with Kaveh’s help, but he wasn’t perfect. Emotions seemed to defy logic, so the best Alhaitham could do when he didn’t understand someone’s emotions was to look at them logically.
But even then, the logic didn’t always make sense.
Everything Kaveh seemed to hate about himself, Alhaitham had grown fond of. There were things that bothered him from time to time, sure, but in the grand scheme of things, they were minimal compared to everything else he loved. Alhaitham saw Kaveh’s flaws as quirks. Actions and behaviors that kept his life interesting.
His life had truthfully been so dull and boring until Kaveh came into his life. He didn’t mind the daily routine of paperwork and writing, and boring would have suited him just fine if that was the life he chose to live. But now that Kaveh had entered his life, he couldn’t go back to a boring life. He wouldn’t. Kaveh had become what made his life worth living. The good, and the bad. And nothing Kaveh did would ever make Alhaitham want to leave. No matter how badly he messed up, or struggled, or even failed. It couldn’t drive Alhaitham away.
Kaveh had shifted in his seat, now on his hands and knees facing Alhaitham. He was still sobbing uncontrollably, his body quivering as tears fell from his face onto the sofa below him. “Please Alhaitham, don’t lie to me! Just tell me the truth! Just let it all out! Hold nothing back!”
Alhaitham adjusted himself to better face Kaveh. He raised a hand cautiously, intending to cup Kaveh’s cheek. However, he paused, looking at the cuts on the blonde’s beautiful face. Yes, beautiful. Even under the cuts and bruises, Alhaitham could still see the beauty that Kaveh had. His glistening sunset-hued eyes, his long and beautiful golden eyelashes. His features mixed with perfectly soft and angular points, capturing a beautiful and perfect combination of masculine and feminine. He was practically sent from Celestia himself, with how beautiful he was. Even after becoming tattered and bruised.
The wounds on Kaveh’s face were still painful for Alhaitham to look at, but not because it tarnished Kaveh’s beauty. They were painful because the person he cared about most in the world was hurt.
“The truth of the matter has always been simple, Kaveh,” Alhaitham stated, using his fingers to carefully brush aside the bangs from Kaveh’s eyes. Kaveh didn’t flinch at his junior’s touch.
“Then just tell me!” Kaveh screamed as he collapsed on the couch, his body struggling to stay on his hands and knees in such a state of distress for long.
“Kaveh!” Alhaitham cried. His collapse was a bit of a startle, and the scribe began to worry something was seriously wrong. Something the doctor missed. He had to move fast.
Alhaitham flew off the couch and moved to cup his arms under Kaveh. He carefully flipped the senior over, then proceeded to climb behind him to allow Kaveh to rest on himself. He held the senior mostly upright in his lap, head against his chest with legs still up on the sofa. He carefully wrapped his arms around his senior, using one hand to cup his face as the other gripped at Kaveh’s good hand.
Kaveh was conscious, but still sobbing uncontrollably. It eased Alhaitham to know that Kaveh wasn’t more seriously injured, but it still worried him that Kaveh was so deeply emotionally distressed.
“Look at me, please,” Alhaitham begged gently. His eyes still focused on Kaveh’s face.
Kaveh sniffled, but obliged. He lifted his head to look up at Alhaitham. His eyelids flickered, struggling to keep them open.
Alhaitham shifted the hand on Kaveh’s cheek to gently hold Kaveh’s chin with the curve of his finger. His hazel gaze fixed intently on his senior’s sunset eyes, making sure Kaveh understood what he was about to say.
“I love you, Kaveh. I never thought of you as a burden or a failure. I never have, and I never will.”
“But how could you say that, just look at me!” Kaveh countered. The hand encompassed by Alhaitham’s palm squeezed. “I’m a mess! I’m always a mess!”
“I do look at you, Kaveh, even when you don’t notice. I see you every morning, and every night. I see your messy hair and the ink stains on your sleeves. I see you fall asleep at your desk, and when you feel like the world is falling apart around you. I see you when you are at your best, and at your worst. I see you every day, Kaveh. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.” Alhaitham’s heart was pounding again and his cheeks were tinted a soft pink. There was a softness behind his eyes, even though his eyebrows were furrowed and serious.
“B-But that… that’s just everyday stuff! That stuff doesn’t matter…” Kaveh whimpered, his eyes trying to drift away.
“It matters to me, Kaveh. You matter to me.”
Kaveh shook his head out of Alhaitham’s hand. “D-don’t say stuff like that. Not if you don’t mean it.”
“But I do mean it, Kaveh. I mean every word.” Alhaitham said flatly.
“Alhaitham…please, stop.” Kaveh sighed. “I’m… I’m not good enough for you.”
“What?” Alhaitham was genuinely shocked. Something that didn’t happen very often. Why would he possibly think that?
Alhaitham knew that Kaveh struggled with his self confidence and his self love, but he didn’t fully comprehend how that made Kaveh feel like he was unworthy of love. Alhaitham had tried to reassure Kaveh numerous times in the past about his value. That he would persevere, and was greater than what he gave himself credit for. That he was beautiful and talented, and that he was worthwhile. Perhaps with time, Kaveh would come to realize those facts on his own. That Kaveh was everything he aspired to be and more. Alhaitham could only hope Kaveh would see those truths one day. But until he did, he would reassure Kaveh everytime.
“I just. I feel like I’m not good enough for you, okay? No matter what I do, it just doesn’t make me feel like I’m deserving of your love.” Kaveh dropped all of his weight. He slumped into Alhaitham’s shoulder, seemingly wanting to disappear. He even used the crook of Alhaitham’s neck to hide his eyes.
“Why do you feel that way?” Alhaitham inquired, moving his freehand to rest on Kaveh’s thigh.
“I don’t know, I just.” Kaveh lowered his head a bit more, before peeking at his junior. “I guess I’ve always felt that way. No matter how many times you tell me you love me… I’m just always scared you’ll see how much of a mess I am and then leave me.”
Alhaitham sighed, channeling his usual nonchalant behavior again. “You know, maybe you’re right. Sometimes you are a mess, Kaveh,” Alhaitham teased.
“H-Hey!” Kaveh’s face puffed up and flashed an intense red. He raised his free hand to press on Alhaitham’s chest, as a sign of protest.
“But I wouldn’t love you any other way. I love you when you’re being yourself,” the scribe continued. “And your messes are certainly nothing I can’t handle. Besides, do you remember what I told you when I first told you I loved you?”
“Yes,” Kaveh muttered, gripping at Alhaitham’s hand again.
“There might be many truths in this world, but none is truer than the fact that I love you.”
A smile tugged at Kaveh’s lips as his sunset eyes sparkled. He knew that Alhaitham’s world revolved around facts and truth. Science and knowledge. The scribe was never a fan of lying, if he could help it. He knew there was importance in facts and he always presented them very matter-of-factly. He was painstakingly logical, even when it came to his own feelings. Though, Kaveh understood the importance of facts too. So, whether Kaveh believed it or not, if any fact was going to be true…it was how much Alhaitham loved Kaveh.
“I still can’t believe something so cheesily romantic came out of the mouth of the most serious and nonchalant scholar in the entire Akedemia.” Kaveh teased, rolling his eyes.
“It’s true though. And I will remind you of that truth anytime you need to hear it. I love you, messes and all.” Alhaitham planted a gentle kiss on Kaveh’s forehead.
Kaveh paused, feeling the warmth of Alhaitham’s lips on his skin and his breath tickling his hair. He instinctively leaned in to his junior, yearning to be closer to him. Despite Alhaitham’s usual nonchalant behaviors, he did manage to say the right things at times. It drove him a little crazy, but it was one of the reasons he fell madly in love with him.
Kaveh took a deep breath, before letting out a melancholy, “I’m sorry, Alhaitham.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything right now,” Alhaitham whispered, moving his forehead to gently rest against Kaveh’s and nuzzle their noses together. Both their eyes flickered closed. “For now, just rest.”
Kaveh sat for a moment and just tried to breathe. He breathed in Alhaitham’s scent, his warmth, his soul. He somehow always managed to feel safe in his arms, and it was something he would never tire of. Too often when Kaveh had a rough night, all he wanted was to lay with Alhaitham. He yearned to feel his embrace, his strong arms around him. His heart beat was so soothing to Kaveh, too, and could help him come down from the highest of anxiety attacks.
Perhaps, that was the true power of love.
Love.
Kaveh didn’t think he showed his love for Alhaitham enough. Sure, he loved the man greater than anything, and in truth, he never really stopped loving him. Even after their massive fight all those years ago. No matter how much they bickered, or Kaveh beat himself up, Kaveh had only ever wanted to be with one person. The only person he ever wanted to be with was right here, holding him lovingly. The one who only ever accepted all of him, despite his flaws. It was only ever one person he loved.
But Kaveh felt he surely didn’t say “I love you” out loud enough. Not as frequently as Alhaitham said it. Not those direct words, anyways. He tried to show his love in little things; making him coffee in the morning, caring for Alhaitham’s “vintage” slippers he refused to get rid of, leaving him little notes around the house and in his work gear to encourage him. But why? Why did Kaveh behave this way? Maybe it was because he worried Alhaitham was too good to be true, and saying “I love you” would break the reality. Maybe Kaveh worried he was unworthy of Alhaitham’s love, and maybe his words didn’t hold the same weight as Alhaitham’s. Maybe that was why Kaveh didn’t say “I love you” as much as Alhaitham did.
Regardless of the reason why Kaveh didn’t say “I love you” more, every once and a while, Alhaitham managed to chip pieces away from the wall Kaveh had built around his heart. Alhaitham would manage to tend and bandage the self-inflicted wounds on Kaveh’s heart so it could begin to heal. Moments like this, where love persevered despite how disheveled Kaveh was. It truly made Kaveh feel like he could be vulnerable, and be himself. Like maybe, just maybe, Kaveh was always enough for Alhaitham, despite all his self doubts.
“Alhaitham?” Kaveh squeaked after a long moment of silence.
“Yes?”
“About the fight in the tavern… it wasn’t really over nothing.” Kaveh muttered sheepishly, lifting his head to look at his junior.
“That’s okay,” Alhaitham responded.
“No I mean… I was at the bar drinking. I was a bit upset about yesterday and I wanted to try to drown some of that out, you know? But no matter what I drank, the people next to me just kept talking about you.” His head tilted downward slightly, averting his gaze.
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. Alhaitham. Which, I know how it sounds. Maybe it would have been different if they said nice things about you but… they said really hateful things! Things I couldn’t stand to hear them say! They were talking about how you didn’t deserve to be Scribe, and that they didn’t know why you were acting Grand Sage after the whole Kusinali incident. Then they started talking about your abilities, and your appearance, and everything about you. It just drove me insane, hearing them say things about you. They don’t even know you!” Kaveh’s cheeks puffed up again. “So I told them to knock it off.”
“Oh? And then what happened?” Alhaitham asked, listening as he continued to stroke Kaveh’s thigh.
“They didn’t like that I told them off, of course. They insisted it was a free nation and they could say whatever they wanted… but I told them they didn’t deserve to say such hurtful things about someone they didn’t know personally! And that’s when it sort of escalated.”
Kaveh shuddered, curling up a little more in Alhaitham’s lap.
“He punched me first, but I fought back. Before I knew it bottles and cups were flying, I was on top of him, and people had to get involved to pull us away from each other. Maybe I had too much to drink but… I couldn’t stand to hear such hateful things about you! Not about someone I love.” Kaveh’s puffed cheeks turned pink.
“Someone you love, huh?” Alhaitham teased again, smirking. His hand slid up Kaveh’s thigh and towards the outside of his hips, carefully pulling him closer.
“Ah, shut up!” Kaveh chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, you're the someone I love. But I think you know that.”
Kaveh responded to Alhaitham’s touch. He was beginning to feel a bit sore as the alcohol was nearly out of his system now, but it didn’t stop his body’s desire for affection. He shifted his position a bit, sitting more upright and facing Alhaitham more directly.
“Yes, I know. But I’m just relieved you’re okay,” Alhaitham soothed. “I was really worried when I heard something happened to you.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry for worrying you,” Kaveh sighed, raising his hand to caress Alhaitham’s face with the back of his fingertips.
“I would appreciate it if you would refrain from getting into fights at taverns in the future, even if it is to defend my honor.” The scribe pleaded, staring straight into Kaveh’s eyes as he held the hand brushing his face.
“Would you rather fight them yourself?” Kaveh asked curiously, raising a sore eyebrow.
Alhaitham scoffed. “Probably not. They can say whatever they want about me. Now if they were besmirching your honor, that would be a different story…”
“What!? So I can’t defend you but you can defend me!?” Kaveh barked, squirming a bit in Alhaitham’s lap. The movements were enough to bring a soft blush into Alhaitham’s cheeks.
“Well, at least not until you learn how to handle yourself better in a fight,” Alhaitham smiled.
“Oh please, I was outnumbered two to one! And I still managed to hold my own!”
“Yeah yeah, I know.” Alhaitham sighed, his eyes scanning Kaveh’s face. “Still, I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”
Kaveh mirrored Alhaitham’s sigh, his gaze softening as he looked up at his junior. “Alright, I’ll be more careful from now on,” he promised.
“Good,” Alhaitham hummed. He planted another kiss on Kaveh’s forehead. He desperately wanted to kiss him on the lips, but didn’t want to cause stress on the cut on Kaveh’s mouth.
“Alhaitham?” Kaveh asked again.
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Kaveh.”