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Shadow stared at the professor and Maria from afar, still in disbelief that they were here. At any moment he felt as if Black Doom would pull the rug out from under him and they would turn into Black Arm soldiers, but deep down he knew that wasn’t going to happen.No one could successfully mimic Maria’s light, the professor’s genius, or the warmth that radiated from both of them. They guided him back to them after each race through the past. No matter where he ended up, he found his way back because of them.
This wasteland of white was disorienting, especially as he was taken to the past again and again. He felt trapped, and the reality of the situation was that he was. He was chained to this place, and he wasn’t sure how to escape.
“I am afraid this is my fault, Shadow,” the professor said, looking up at the terrifying eye in the sky when Shadow expressed his concerns. He let out a sigh and explained the whole ordeal that led them to this moment, the deal he made with Black Doom, and the outcome he was afraid would come to be.
“But you’ve defeated Black Doom once before, haven’t you, Shadow?” Maria questioned, putting a hand to her chest. He nodded his head, earning a smile from her. “So you can do it again!”
“Black Doom is preparing for something, and it seems all you can do right now is to play along with his game,” the professor said, looking back down at Shadow. “Revisiting the past might be beneficial.”
Shadow had agreed and went off to complete another one of Black Doom’s tests, but he hadn’t liked it. He felt like he was forever in a cycle that he couldn’t escape. One of his own creations, he supposed, since he struggled so much to let go. It was difficult when he knew how precious memories were and how easy they were to lose.
“There you are,” a voice brought him out of his thoughts as Sonic appeared at his side. Ah, yes, Rouge had mentioned Sonic and the others were around here somewhere, but Shadow hadn’t been able to locate them. Besides, he had his own problems to worry about right now; the others would have to make do without him. “Nice to see you alive, thanks for checking in on me and the others.”
Shadow rolled his eyes, wondering if Rouge had made Sonic aware of the situation he was dealing with at the moment. With the way Sonic was smiling at him, he supposed the answer was ‘no’.
“Faker, I have other matters to attend to,” he gestured to the eye in the sky, getting a ‘woah’ from Sonic. The sight was one of awe, but not in a positive manner. He hated how the eye seemed to follow his every movement, granting him no escape from Black Doom’s constant surveillance. “Black Doom has made a reappearance.”
“So we’re both being forced to race through the past, huh?” Sonic questioned, still looking up at the eye in the sky. “I know you won’t accept it, but I can help. You aren’t alone with me around.”
What used to be an annoying fact was now comforting, though Shadow wouldn’t ever tell Sonic that. He’d never hear the end of it if he knew Shadow found comfort in his reliability.
His relationship with Sonic had evolved over the years and had now settled between friendship and what Sonic loved to call a ‘playful’ rivalry. Shadow didn’t understand the term when Sonic first used it, but now he believed he understood. The outcomes of their races didn’t matter as much, it was the feelings shared between the start and end point that held priority. Afterwards, they’d stick together instead of dashing away from each other with an insult or smart remark lost to the wind. Fighting was still a thing, but punches were held back, and they could both walk away with minor cuts and bruises.
Shadow often walked away with a longing to go back, to spend a little extra time with Sonic, but he chalked it up to loneliness. He couldn’t accept what it truly was and face rejection.
“Hey, is that…” Sonic’s words died on his tongue, and Shadow realized why when he caught the blue hedgehog’s gaze. He was staring at Maria and the professor, eyes wide.
“Yes. The professor believes a time anomaly brought them here. They are not aware…that…they are from a time before G.U.N.’s invasion,” Shadow explained, getting a sad smile from Sonic in return. Shadow had expected him to take off towards them, to bombard Maria with a million questions about Shadow, seeking out embarrassing stories.
What he hadn’t expected was for Sonic to take his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting go. Shadow mourned the brief moment of warmth and comfort that it took with it. “I know this can’t be easy, but I’m glad you have a little more time with them” Sonic murmured, stepping a little closer to Shadow. He glanced at him, trying to read Shadow’s expression. After a few moments, he let out a small sigh, perking back up. “I need that Chaos Emerald you’ve got, but you might need it more. Just bring it when you’re done, ‘kay?”
Sonic took a step back to leave when Shadow surprised himself by reaching out, grabbing his hand. He was quiet, mind racing, while Sonic looked at him. His green eyes were wide, trying to read Shadow with each passing second that they stayed in silence.
“You okay–”
“Would you like to meet her?” Shadow asked, meeting Sonic’s surprised eyes.
If Sonic met her, then someone else would know of her. She wouldn’t be a figure of Shadow’s past that the others only knew from a few of the very small bits of information Shadow shared. It would mean she existed, here and now in this space. If he ever looked back and questioned this, Sonic would be able to reassure him that it was real. She had been here.
When Sonic didn’t respond, Shadow felt himself pull away, embarrassment rising in his cheeks. Sonic had the world to save, per usual, he didn’t have time for stuff like–
“Yeah, Shads, I’d love to,” Sonic said, rushing his words together in haste, keeping his hand in Shadow’s. His expression softened, a smile back on his face. “Who wouldn’t want to meet THE Maria?”
“Don’t embarrass me,” Shadow warned, pulling Sonic along. As they got closer, he let go of Sonic’s hand, not wanting Maria to ask questions about their closeness. It was crazy enough that he was doing this, he didn’t need to make it more intense.
“Shadow!” Maria said as she turned to face them, eyes lighting up. “Oh my goodness! You found a friend just like you? How wonderful!”
“Sonic the hedgehog!” Sonic introduced himself with a wide and friendly smile as usual. Maria clapped her hands together, excitement evident. Sonic’s tail wagged as Shadow looked between the two of them. Maria introduced herself, a small smile on Shadow’s face. “Shadow’s most favorite rival.”
“You managed to find more like you?” The professor asked, putting his hands behind his back as he looked over Sonic. “Another time anomaly like us?”
“Yes,” Shadow said, not giving the details. The professor and Maria didn’t want to know anything about their time, and if they knew when he met Sonic and how, they’d know their fates. “He is a friend.”
“You’re his favorite rival? So does that mean you can run as fast as Shadow can?” Maria asked, getting Shadow’s attention once more.
“Even faster,” Sonic said, making Maria gasp.
“That cannot be possible.” In an instance, they both looked to Shadow with pleading faces. Shadow looked up at the professor, who looked back at him to say ‘this is your call’. “Please, oh please, I’ll be careful and I won’t push myself,” Maria said to Shadow, putting her hands together to add to her pleading.
“Maria,” he muttered, crossing his arms as they continued to look at him. “Sonic.”
“I will be so careful with her, promise!” Sonic exclaimed, pouting at Shadow with his large green eyes that Shadow was having trouble refusing when they were paired with Maria’s blue ones. He never thought he would have to face the two of them together and tell them ‘no’.
Curse them.
He sighed, which is all it took for Sonic to push a fist to the sky in excitement. Maria planted a kiss on his head as thanks, causing him to relax, giving her a smile in return. “Please don’t push yourself. If it’s too much, tell him.”
“I will,” Maria nodded her head, then smiled down at Sonic before she crouched down, allowing him to carry her like a princess. With a smile, he was off, a blur in the distance with Maria’s laughter trailing behind them. Shadow watched, expecting to feel tense, but he was completely at ease.
Sonic was reckless, but he wouldn’t be with Maria. He knew how much Shadow cared for her, and Shadow was confident that she was as safe with Sonic as she would be with him.
“He must be a most trusted ally of yours for you to allow him to take Maria on an adventure,” the professor said, eyes trained to the horizon, listening for Maria. Shadow nodded his head, not wanting to delve into his feelings. Most trusted ally was correct, and the professor didn’t need to know how thinking about it too hard would cause Shadow to spiral. “He is quite fast, isn’t he? Faster than you.”
“If you tell him that, I will never hear the end of it,” Shadow muttered as he saw Sonic approaching them, Maria still secure in his arms.
He slowed as he got closer, avoiding his typical ‘stop on a dime’ trick. Maria’s cheeks were red as Sonic stopped in front of them, and he was careful to gently lower her to the ground, not pulling away until he was sure she was able to stand on her own. Shadow didn’t even need to step forward to make sure she was okay.
“That was incredible, Sonic!” Maria exclaimed as Sonic rubbed his nose, seemingly bashful at the compliment. The reaction had Shadow crossing his arms, amused. “What a wonderful friend you have, Shadow! And he also told me you had many other friends, and that you’ve saved the world on many occasions.”
“She knew how to weasel your heroics out of me,” Sonic said when Shadow glared at him, worried about how much Sonic had told Maria. He frowned at Shadow’s reaction, throwing up his hands in response. “Relax, I didn’t tell her everything, you big worrywart.”
“Yes, yes, only little pieces,” Maria promised, getting Shadow to drop his glare easily. He smiled at her, ignoring Sonic’s eyes on him. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing well and that you had friends to help you if needed.”
“As annoying as he can be, Sonic is reliable,” Shadow said as Sonic put his hand over his heart, letting out an ‘aww’ that Shadow refused to acknowledge. “Case in point.”
“C’mon, grumpy,” Sonic put his arm around Shadow’s shoulders, getting far too close but knowing Shadow wouldn’t push him off in front of Maria. Shadow found that he didn’t feel the need to shove him away; the closeness was comforting, but Sonic backed off before Shadow could say anything, keeping an easy smile on his face. How could one be so relaxed when they were in a situation like this? Shadow would never understand. “I gotta get goin’, but if you need me, I’ll be around, ‘kay?” Sonic said, eying Shadow. He didn’t stop looking until Shadow nodded his head in understanding. “Good. Oh, and don’t forget, I need that chaos emerald when you’re done here.”
“I’ll bring it once Black Doom is destroyed.”
“That’s what I like to hear!” Sonic exclaimed, laughing loudly. His energy was a bit too high for the situation, but when he caught Sonic giving a quick glance to the professor and Maria, he realized why. He didn’t want to concern them or alert them to their limited time together.
“It was wonderful meeting you, Sonic. Please be careful on your journey,” Maria said when Shadow didn’t speak up again. Sonic gave her a playful salute, and with one last look at Shadow, he was gone. The three watched him as he became a blue speck on the horizon before vanishing completely in a matter of seconds. “He was lovely.”
“Hm,” Shadow shrugged, looking the other way. Lovely wasn’t the first word Shadow would use to describe Sonic, especially aloud, but the world around them was a little less bright without him.
“I’m so happy you’ve made friends who are like you,” Maria said, kneeling so that the two of them were at eye level. “Sonic had such nice things to say about you, not that I’m surprised. It was wonderful to hear about some of the adventures you two have been on.”
“Adventures he’s dragged me along to,” Shadow muttered, not willing to delve into this with Maria. It would reveal too much to her if he asked what things Sonic said about him, and he didn’t want to admit those feelings. It would make everything too real, and besides, Sonic said nice things about all of his friends. Shadow was sure it was nothing special.
“You know,” she said, standing again. She put her hands behind her back and swayed from side to side, like she was thinking hard about what she was going to say next. “I think Grandfather is right. Going back through the past might help you move forward.”
He watched her for any indication of what she meant. It was different than what the professor suggested, at least, it felt different, but when she didn’t add anything else, he decided it was best to get back to his mission. Sonic needed the chaos emerald, and Shadow had a job to complete.
He raced through the past, pushing past the memories that sprang forward in his mind. At some point in all of them, Sonic had been present before or after, or even in the midst of it. Taunting him, telling Shadow to catch up with him, questioning his motives when Shadow did something he couldn’t understand the reasoning for, reminding him that they were on the same side, or just sighing and letting Shadow take the lead.
Sonic dotted each memory, a blue blur always at the edge of his vision. Shadow had found his presence an annoyance, then a hindrance, then a comfort, though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment things had shifted. He hadn’t even noticed it when it had actually happened, just daily moments that led to what he felt now.
He wished there was some defining moment to the feelings, something he could point at and blame, but there wasn’t. It was lost in the day-to-day routine of his life, times of peace that settled perfectly in between the moments of tension and battles. It had formed slowly and remained there, waiting to be acknowledged by someone who had no idea where to start, or if he even should start.
“Is everything going okay?” Maria asked when he stopped by to visit her and the professor. He couldn’t help but skate by each time he re-entered the white abyss, though he knew it was best to limit their time together when possible. “I keep looking, but I think Sonic might be too busy for another visit. How disappointing.”
Shadow nodded his head. He knew Sonic had the world to save, and Shadow had his own villain to face, but he understood her disappointment. Each time he appeared back in the endless white abyss, he hoped to see Sonic along the edges, adding color to the vacant world.
“Well, if you see him on your adventure, tell him I said thank you again for the run! I’ll keep my eyes peeled, so you do your best!” Maria exclaimed, waving as he skated off to the next challenge Black Doom had for him.
He thought of the others, wondering what kind of situation Sonic was dealing with. He was thankful he had Omega and Rouge here, and that they were safe. This was difficult to navigate, but at least he had some friendly faces to greet him instead of endless enemies. Rouge always had an eye on him if she could, eager to remind him that she was there for him no matter what.
It was hard to let others in, to accept friendship when he felt like he didn’t deserve it. Rouge had long ago cut through the fences he put up around himself, and he knew there was no stopping her, while Sonic had leapt over them no matter how high Shadow built them. He hadn’t realized how high he made them until he was racing through past memories, remembering how difficult he had been, and how annoyingly consistent Sonic had been. How much Sonic cared.
He cared so much, and he had been showing that to Shadow for years. He had just shown it to Shadow by pushing down his own nature–curious and consequences be damned–to respect Shadow’s space here. He could’ve raced towards Maria and met her without Shadow’s blessing, but he didn’t.
It was as if Sonic always knew the balance. He knew when to push and prod Shadow, but knew when to hold back, when to give him space and let Shadow lead, even when Shadow wasn’t sure of what he wanted. Sonic knew how special the moment was, how much trust Shadow had in him to allow him to meet Maria. He had heard almost all the stories of her, knew of all the things on Earth that reminded Shadow of her.
Of course, it was no wonder why he wanted Sonic to meet Maria, that he trusted him with her, because Sonic cared about Shadow. Cared about him differently than he did the others.
And subconsciously, Shadow knew that. He had seen the signs for years, but he had never fully believed it was possible that Sonic would feel the same. That he could allow himself that closeness. Sometimes it felt like he was just torturing himself for all the things that he truly had no control over. His past had covered him, making it impossible to escape.
Looking back, now that he could look at it with a clearer mind, maybe he wasn’t supposed to escape it? Maybe what he needed to do was to confront it, accept it, and put it to rest. It didn’t mean he had to forget it, but he needed to learn to live with it. If he didn’t, he would be trapped in the chain forever. He didn’t have to continue to suffer, he had done enough of that.
Sonic clearly didn’t care about his past, didn’t let it cloud how he felt in the present, how he felt for Shadow. Before, Shadow saw it as thoughtlessness, but now, it was admirable. To be able to examine one’s past as it was happening and learn what he could from it, without allowing it to weigh him down completely, wasn’t easy. In all of his confidence, Shadow wasn’t sure if it was something he could do.
He didn’t have to do it alone, though. Sonic would surely help him.
Once they got out of this mess, of course.
So he raced forward, using every power that Black Doom so foolishly granted Shadow against him. He wasn’t sure if his powers would last outside of this world, so he was going to take full advantage of them while he could. He swore, this would be the last time Black Doom would stain his present.
“Your friends need you, Shadow,” Maria said, clasping their hands together, even as she began to fade. His chest felt too tight for him to breathe properly, but he tried anyway for Maria’s sake. He wanted to fight against it, but if Sonic was here, he would tell him to accept the moment for what it was, a second chance at goodbye. A way for Shadow to finally make peace with this pain.
It was difficult, but it was true. His friends needed him, Sonic needed him, and as painful as it would be to let go, he had to to secure his future. He wasn’t abandoning her, or forgetting about her, but he wasn’t going to allow it to haunt him any longer. For once, he was thinking ahead and not of the past.
This is what Maria would want from him, and it’s what he wanted too.
“Sonic needs you, and that chaos emerald,” she continued, echoing his own thoughts. She smiled when she said Sonic’s name, a glint in her eyes. “He’s very important to you, and he really cares about you. I bet he’s been waiting for you since he left,” she moved her hands, petting his head affectionately. Her words made his muzzle feel hot, embarrassment making his ears flatten. Was she really using their last moments together to tease him about his crush?
And how did she know this? She had only met Sonic briefly. Shadow had known him for years and just now realized and accepted it.
“Maria,” he murmured, getting a giggle out of her. He wanted to be annoyed, but he never could be with Maria. It was wonderful to be teased by her again. The small Sonic voice in his head was right, this was his second chance at a goodbye, a small blessing amongst this madness.
“Shadow, I love you so much, we both do, but it’s time for us to go back to our time, and for you to get to Sonic’s side.”
“I love you, too,” Shadow said, looking up at the two of them. His chest was still tight, but the pain wasn’t like how it had been on the ARK. The professor smiled, putting his hand on Maria’s shoulder as she stood. They both looked at peace, content with their unknown future. It was a much better final memory than the one Shadow had previously.
“Now, prove to us that you’re faster than Sonic,” the professor said, a small, playful smile on his face. Shadow took it for what it was, a goodbye on a good note, and took off, leaving them behind him. He forced himself to keep his eyes ahead, refusing to look back and see them disappear.
“Rouge!” He called out when he saw her flying towards Sonic’s direction. He tossed the emerald up to her when she took notice of him, but didn’t pause. He didn’t want to answer any questions, not now. He would need more time to fully grasp it all, but Sonic had a world to save first.
–
“I honestly didn’t expect you to come,” Sonic said, joining Shadow in the shade under the tree. Shadow shrugged as Sonic took a seat next to him, looking out at the blue sky above them. It had taken a bit for him to stop expecting the white abyss to return each time he blinked, and he had a new appreciation for the colors that surrounded them.
“I didn’t bring a present.”
“I got to meet Maria, I think that’s a pretty good present, don’t you think?” Sonic asked, catching Shadow by surprise. Sonic just smiled his easy-going smile and looked up at the sky. They sat like that, not speaking and just listening to the sounds of their friends around them.
Shadow’s attention was divided; partly on the party around them, ears twitching in each direction whenever a loud noise was made, partly on the blue sky above them that stretched on for miles, and partly on Sonic, right beside him. It was hard to concentrate with everyone around them, even if they were being left alone, they weren’t truly alone.
“Hey, let’s go for a race,” Sonic said suddenly, standing as he spoke. Shadow met his eyes, catching the underlying message Sonic had truly meant.
Let’s get away from everyone for a bit.
Shadow stood, nodding his head. Sonic waved at Tails and Knuckles before he was gone. What a cheat. Shadow took off after him, ignoring how Sonic laughed at his annoyance, and let Sonic lead for once. He had an idea of where they were going, but he wasn’t in the mood to focus on the finish line.
The White Abyss had been endless, one would think it was perfect for running with the smooth ground under his skates, but he had hated it. He loved feeling the tall grass of the green fields of Earth against his legs, the obstacles of fallen trees, low branches, boulders and creeks, the rush of wind filled with scents of nature around him, and, frustratingly, the chance that Sonic would find him on his run and join him without asking.
Sonic slowed as they neared their spot, a single tree on a hilltop. He didn’t say anything as he took his spot under the tree, the breeze rustling the leaves. Shadow usually stood, but this time he took a seat next to Sonic, letting his back relax against the bark of the tree trunk. Sonic scooted closer, but Shadow didn’t shift away. He couldn’t remember the last time he had pulled away from any of Sonic’s touches when they weren’t done to annoy him.
“You know, I get why you tried to destroy the world now,” Sonic said, leaning forward to catch Shadow’s attention. “Maria was great. I wish I had gotten to spend more time with her.”
“Hm,” Shadow mumbled, glancing down at his gloved hands and the golden rings that kept them in place. “She was watching the horizon for you. She was hoping to get a second visit,” he admitted, smiling softly as Sonic groaned, kicking his feet like a child would.
“Ugh! Egghead always ruins everything,” Sonic complained. “I wanted to come back and check on you three, but things were…insane. You saw how much effort it took to defeat that thing.” Shadow nodded his head. “But, hey, on a serious note, are you okay? I meant it when I said I was surprised you came to my party, especially after everything you went through.”
There was that concern that Shadow had always brushed off, but this time he couldn’t ignore how Sonic looked at him. His green eyes were intense and focused on him, ears perked forward despite trying to come off as relaxed.
Shadow let out a sigh and slowly nodded his head. “When I was saying goodbye, I heard your voice in my head. It said that I had to let it go, accept it for what it was, a second chance at a better goodbye,” he watched Sonic’s expression shift to something that was difficult to read. Sadness, but also a bit of relief, or maybe hope?
“Did it help? Or was it annoying that I was in your head?”
“It was…comforting,” Shadow admitted, ears picking up on the small gasp Sonic let out. Now that they were here, alone, he felt more comfortable speaking openly. There was no one around to interrupt them or listen in. Sonic would keep whatever Shadow told him to himself, so he could be honest. “For years, I felt like a failure. I was created for a singular purpose, and I failed. It was hard to see past that. I only allowed myself to see my mistakes and shortcomings. I hadn’t fully grasped the kindness you’ve shown me over the years until I had to revisit it all.”
Sonic opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. Had he finally rendered him speechless? Shadow had never thought he’d see the day when Sonic didn’t have anything to say.
“I never saw you as a patient person, but I suppose you do have some ability to wait,” Shadow said, smiling to himself when he heard Sonic huff at the light teasing. He glanced at the sky before looking at Sonic once more. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
“You had a lot going on,” Sonic said, but Shadow shook his head at the excuse. He had been stubborn, foolish, and unwilling to deal with his emotions that weren’t centered around anger, because that was all he had known since he had awoken fifty years in the future. That wasn’t the case anymore, though. He knew comfort, friendship, and love, and from multiple people around him, not just two.
“I will need time, but I don’t want to let my past dictate my future any longer. I’ve missed out on so much because I felt like I didn’t deserve it,” Shadow said, looking into Sonic’s eyes. He wasn’t great with words, with conveying his emotions to others, but he hoped Sonic had understood the depth of his words by how Shadow was looking at him. “I would like to make peace with it. With your help.”
Sonic’s expression slowly shifted to one of understanding, a smile forming. He reached out and put his hand on top of Shadow’s. “Of course, Shads. You know I’m always right here. I’m happy to help you start a new chapter in your life.”
“Yes, I’m beginning to see that,” Shadow said quietly, letting Sonic squeeze his hand. The comfort washed over him, and the tension slipped from his shoulders, finally allowing himself to relax. Sonic was here. He’d be fine. “Thank you.”