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The team was taking advantage of a pause in the fighting to regroup and catch their breath. They retreated into the depths of a smoldering building and drifted in different directions, each lost to their own thoughts. After wandering for a while, Bucky found Yelena sitting in a dark, secluded corner. He watched her for a moment then shoved his hands in his pockets and walked over.
"Can I sit?"
Yelena stared listlessly at the floor, ignoring him. Muffled booms emanated from outside—distant, but slowly moving closer. Bucky sighed and sat down beside her. He opened his mouth, then shut it again before finally speaking.
"You know, everybody lost something in the Blip and its aftermath. But you and I...I think we lost a little more. Is that selfish to say?"
He looked sideways at Yelena, hoping his words would draw her out. He saw it—how broken she was. How alone. He wanted to help her; like people had tried to help him. He had needed that. Even if he never would have admitted it at the time.
"I was gone for five years," Yelena said softly after a while. "And when I got back...she was gone. She did that for me. For everyone, I know she did it to save everyone. But...also...for me. And then she didn't even get to—"
Yelena's voice broke off with a small choking sound. A tear slid down her cheek.
"I really miss her," she whispered.
Bucky sighed heavily. "You know, Steve got his happy ending. And I'm happy for him, I really am."
He pulled his cheeks back, an approximation of a smile, but more of a wince.
"But doing that meant he left me... He left me. He chose that. I waited all this time and I fought so hard to get back and he just..." Bucky trailed off, shrugging.
Yelena looked up at him, tears in her eyes and Bucky shifted, angling his body towards her a bit more.
"I know it's not the same. Not at all. Losing Nat and losing Steve. But....we still got left."
Yelena sniffled and nodded. “It sucks being the ones left behind.”
Bucky nodded in silent agreement.
"Do you hate him sometimes?" she asked softly.
"Oh, all the time," Bucky said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "I think that's okay. It's all part of grief. Or at least that's what my therapist says."
"You go to therapy?" Yelena asked incredulously.
"State mandate," Bucky replied mildly. "But it actually really helped." He glanced over at her again. "You should try it."
Yelena nodded glumly.
"Thank you. For talking about her. For...acknowledging her. I feel like she doesn't matter. Like people don't even remember her."
"I remember her," Bucky said softly. "I remember everyone."
Yelena dropped her head tiredly onto Bucky's shoulder and though it surprised him, he smiled and let her. They sat there in silence for a while, until a crash outside reminded them they were in the middle of a battle, surrounded on all sides as the world crashed down around them.
"We better get back to it." Bucky cleared his throat and pushed himself up with a soft grunt.
"Whoa, easy there old man," Yelena said with a tired smirk, a small noise escaping her as well as she stood.
Bucky raised his eyebrows at her with a humorous pot-kettle glint in his eye, then bumped his shoulder against hers gently. "Hey, respect your elders."
"Okay boomer."