Archive of Our Own

Eren has been behaving oddly as of late, Mikasa and Armin can’t help but notice how distant he seems. They know that under that loud, explosive and hard-headed temperament, Eren is really quite a sensitive and not very talkative guy. Everyone matured in different ways over the years, But this was… weird.

It also didn’t soothe them in any way the fact that he’s been visiting the military doctor a concerning amount of times every month and it seemed the intervals between them were shortening. They asked, obviously, but the guy acted all nonchalant as if it wasn’t a big fucking deal.

Hey, guess what? It is a big fucking deal Eren!

Hange made it their mission to find out what exactly was wrong with Eren, she’d always be next to Doctor Reeves’ office to jumpscare the young man, and each time without fail he’d shrug and say it’s a regular check up.

Everyone was left out of this little issue he was having, and even though the guys all slept in the same barrack, none of them had any clue of what it could be. It became a sort of conspiracy what was going on with Eren, but all they knew was that he was inexplicably tired . Tired in the sense that he’d be able to fall asleep anywhere he sat for more than ten minutes, regardless of the occasion.

Levi was the one in charge to blow his ear off for starting to snore in the middle of several important meetings.

Still, Eren would not confess anything.

Months passed, seasons changed, and eventually this topic was put into the back of everyone else’s head. It had become so common to see Eren going to the doctor and dozing off everywhere that most just turned a blind eye on it. The three that could not just ignore it were Hange, Mikasa and Armin, but they too were out of ideas to make him spill the beans.

Hange confronted him once, in her office when he was getting patched up for an injury, but a conversation between two stubborn people could only go so far.

  “What is my little titan hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything Hange. And my private business is none of your concern. Any of you, for that matter.”

“Aww… Oh! Perhaps it’s a parasite? Tapeworms maybe?”

“IT IS NOT A PARASITE!”

“Then what are you hiding?”

It obviously went nowhere. Armin and Mikasa were getting more and more worried, the feeling being solidified by the time when they were having dinner and Armin had to hold Eren’s head up because he passed out mid bite of his stew.

Jean even commented with Armin one night when they were doing patrol, sitting outside taking in the cool breeze, how Eren was always the last one to go take a bath, waiting for everyone else to be done before he went alone into the showers, or how he had requested a bigger size of his uniform coat, although the old one still fit fine.

Or the time he went by a wet patch of dirt in the outer garden and inhaled deeply as if that was the most amazing thing he has ever smelled in his entire life, only to let out a satisfied sound as if… the smell was delicious?

“Why the fuck are you getting your panties in a twist over mud?”

“Maybe it’s because of all the times we’ve been getting assigned together, don’t you think horse-face? You’re making me turn into a pony.”

Eren was an odd one, sure, but this was way out of his league.

For all they know, suicidal maniacs don’t behave like they’re sleep deprived and take more precautions instead of risks.

But all secrets are revealed sooner or later.

They get Sundays off and have the sweet tradition to eat lunch together. Some of them will go into the forest and hunt something for them to cook, this time around it was Jean, Armin and Sasha to form a team and give it all.

Levi and Hange went into town to get some spices and other cooking supplies for Nicco to use, so there really weren't many people in the headquarters.

Connie finally got there after a while, bringing some potatoes from his own crops, greeting everyone in sight, until he got to Eren. To be honest, Eren was the one that came to him, a hand supporting his lower back and walking in a funny way, thick brows furrowed in what might be translated to discomfort and hair tied into a low quick bun.

“Hey there Eren! Are you goo- uh?”

Eren interrupted his friend right away, “Connie, did you see Dr. Reeves anywhere? I need to have a talk with him.”

Connie gave it some thought, then told him, “Sorry man, I think he’s out of town. Maybe he had another medical emergency to take care of.”

There was a distinct shift in Eren’s expression, but Connie didn’t quite notice. He tried again, a bit more breathless than last time, “What about Hange?”

“She’s out with Levi? I thought you knew?”

Now both of his hands were resting on his lower back as his eyes widened, “Please Constance, don’t fuck with me right now.”

“Dude, are you okay? You look pale.”

Eren waved him off, “It’s fine.”, turned around and went back to where he had come out of, leaving Connie there confused.

“What the hell is his deal?” he asked himself barely above a whisper.

It didn’t matter much, it’s like ever since Eren let his hair grow out, he started doing odd shit.

His mind let go of the topic when Sasha’s voice echoed through the house, with a loud and energetic: “WE GOT DUCKS!”

He made his way to the kitchen where the hunting trio and Nicco were, the chef assessing their prizes.

“This is going to be perfect for duck rice. Very well done.”

Jean cleaned his hands off with a random towel that was on top of one of the cabinets, propping himself against the wooden doors, “Are Hange and Captain here yet? It’s getting kinda late, no?”

“Niccolo still has to prepare the ducks, Jean. Why the hurry?” Armin asked, sliding his hand across the taller’s jaw softly. He melted into the touch and they exchanged smiles.

Ignoring the pda, Sasha questioned her best friend, “Hey, where are the others?”

Connie shrugged and put down his sack of potatoes on the table, “I don’t know. Haven’t seen Mikasa, and Eren’s acting weird again.”

“Weird how?” Armin crossed his arms next to Jean.

“Like he’s been acting for the past few months! He was desperate to find Dr. Reeves, and when I reminded him that he wasn’t here today, he asked for Hange, who’s also not here.”

Mikasa comes into the kitchen from the same door Connie did with a glass of water on her hand, two fingers from her free one pressing against her temple. She quietly greeted her friends and sat by the table, sighing. “Are you okay?” Armin asks her. She glances at him tiredly, “It’s just a headache, it’ll pass soon.”

They all start chatting with each other naturally, going on about stuff they’ve seen, people they have met during the week, things of the sort, small talk really. That’s when Eren decides to make an appearance, like a cat that slept all day and is only now going to eat his kibble.

Nicco and Sasha were far too busy gutting the birds to notice Eren’s negative aura radiating from his body. They go silent for a hot minute while Eren makes his way to a chair facing everyone else, back to the wall in a corner of the kitchen and from his mouth only comes a very hoarse once his ass hits the wood, “How can I help?”

Eyes travel from one pair to another around the room before Connie, without reading the fucking vibes, actually hands Eren a peeler and the potatoes and goes: “You can start with these.”

The guy looks so incredibly relieved to have something to do, anything to occupy his hands that now— Armin notices —are gripping the damn vegetable like it’s going to run away from him, and then they relax.

He’s focused on his task, but there’s always the feeling that he’s somewhere else, not entirely listening to their conversations and jokes, Armin keeps an eye on him from the side. From all the years he’s known Eren, forcing him to speak or basically do anything he doesn’t want to by his own accord, is a losing game.

Hange and Levi eventually show up, bags filled with vegetables and spices and anything of the sort, and things are calm, the meal is being prepared… that is until Eren gets up to go to the bathroom.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

10 minutes pass, then 20 and it goes until 30 minutes.

Eren is still not back.

Armin excuses himself to go look for his friend because, let’s be honest, there is only so much time one can spend in the bathroom without it becoming concerning. He goes up the stairs to the second floor silently and checks the first bathroom, but no sights of Eren.

Armin makes his way to the next one, noticing the sounds of somebody in distress inside. He goes in without really thinking and is met with his best friend sitting on the floor with his head turned up to the ceiling against the tiled wall. Eren is a mess, face flushed and low bun coming undone, breathing in and out as if it would magically fix all his issues.

It’s like a light goes off when he looks to the side and sees Armin standing speechless by the door, his face scrunching before starting to let tears roll down to his jaw, “Arminnnn…”

“Eren? What’s wrong?!” He falls next to him in an instant, hands hovering around the trembling figure, “I’m going to call Hange.”

“Wait!” He grabs Armin’s wrist without much force, not letting him get up to find help, “I’m not sure they can help me-”

Eren grits his teeth and his chin meets his collar bone, he muffles out a struggled noise and Armin feels way too out of the situation to react appropriately, so he decides to, perhaps, shove sense into his head, “Eren, How do you know Hange won’t be able to help? They’ve been doing our physicals since we joined the corps!”

He lets him catch his breath, “But this is different and she’s gonna make a whole deal out of it! It’s better if I tell you.”

“Then what is it?!”

Eren brings his legs close to his torso, stopping once his thighs meet his midsection, “I’m having a kid… Like, right now.”

Now, this is the moment Armin’s brain has a delay. For what he knows, and he’s been friends with Eren since forever, he’s aware of his anatomical properties , so this is a complete slap on the face of information.

“Pardon?”

“Armin! I’m being dead serious!”

He lifts up the hem of his green shirt and, sure enough, there’s a protuberance there, very similar to pregnancy, but it can mean nothing! There are several medical conditions that can affect a person’s physique, even if he can’t think of any at the top of his head at the moment…

Then the bump fucking moves and that’s when Armin has the very appropriate reaction to freak the fuck out.

“Sweet, suffering Ymir! Eren!”

He’s panicking, of course, at a moment like this when Eren wants to rip his own insides out and get the whole deal over with, he’s been in pain since he woke up and he’s more than happy to finish it.

Now, why would Eren, who’s always being protected by everyone in his squad, find the need to hide this information?

First of all, why would he have a kid while in the survey corps? That’s insanity, he could die any day and leave them orphan, since, somehow, he was able to asexually reproduce. Sure, it’d be safer to file a report and put him out of commission, but he didn’t like that idea either, he likes his life as it is, being left out was not an option to him. Dr. Reeves did fix this issue when he put him on leave due to: “medical concerns.” An easy way to keep any higher power quiet.

Of course this did not apply to his friends. How was he supposed to even explain his situation to them, huh? He might also get a target on his back for it, better to keep it under wraps.

Funny enough, termination never once crossed his mind, he knew it was an option and the most correct one to consider, but he never went through with it. Eren wasn’t in any illusion he’d be a good dad— given his family history and all —but he’d try, and that’s something he excels in. Being this young though? Not ideal, yet his mind was set.

And so the kid inside him grew, and started to kick and gave him all these terrible symptoms everyone kept side-eyeing him for. He would be a liar if he said he had never considered just being out with it, because in all truth, his life would become way easier if he did so, but he was too deep in and the emotional part of his brain kept ringing alarm bells at the prospect of putting his unborn kid’s life on the line for a bit of comfort.

Eren had moments, when it was late and everyone was getting under the covers, turning off the lights to sleep, where he’d question if this was the right path to take, for it wasn’t one he had ever seen in his visions, and the little one would move or just make him uncomfortable in bed before being strong enough to be noticed from the outside, reminding their dad of their existence. Eren always smiled in the dark, hand above the small bump, evidence of what he was creating in the shadows, and was proven right that it was indeed the best way he could’ve gone around this.

All that work for eight months and now he’s sat on the cold bathroom floor using all of his willpower not to scream his lungs out each time a contraction rocks him.

He turns his head and looks right at Armin, jaw clenched in pain, “Let’s try not to panic, it’s just a baby.”

Armin’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets, “Of course I’m panicking Eren! What do you mean?!”

He was out of patience for this bullshit right now. Thankfully, the contraction was over, although it would not take long for another one to come behind it. That was the reason he was camping inside the bathroom right now, well, that and the fact he thought his water was going to break, which it, unfortunately, didn’t.

His doctor told him labor would get an advancement when his water did in fact break, and he was hoping it would just so he was able to start pushing, but just his luck. Armin wasn’t helping in any way to calm his own nerves, he was in a cycle of pulling himself up to get someone but then he’ll go back down to tend to Eren and hover around him unhelpfully.

“Armin!” Eren called to him, making the other stay still, “Could you just go get someone?”

“Oh- oh, yes, YES!”

And with that he was alone again. His hands came to his middle and began rubbing up and down, taking deep breaths just like his doctor had instructed him. “You just couldn’t wait, huh?” He asks his, currently, unborn child, but he gets no kick back in defiance.

The cold tile helps him regulate his body temperature, relieving how hot he’s feeling on this day of early April. He must look terrible, he feels that way, but he can’t care less at a time like this. He just hopes his hair isn’t too tangled by the end of it.

Soon Hanji comes through the door, heavy on their steps towards him, followed by Armin and Mikasa, who has a towel pressed against her head.

“Oh, Eren, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” They say with a small kind smile across her lips, crouching beside him where Armin was previously. He doesn’t have it in him to say anything back to her, expecting to be silenced by pain once again in a few minutes.

She sighs at him, “Can you walk? I don’t think you want to bring life in the same bathroom Jean vomited all over last month.”

Eren’s face scrunches in disgust, tears still falling from his eyes and he sniffles, “No…”

“Then let’s go! This kid won’t deliver itself!” She says in a cheerful tone while waving her arms up in the air as if to make a point.

Pulling him to his feet is harder than he ever thought, as soon as Hange helped him lift himself up even just a tiny bit, he let out a pained moan. His kid was already too low, already lodged in the right position in his pelvis to come out. Once he got up, Hange guided him to the guest bedroom a few steps away from the bathroom, supporting him with a hand on his back. Eren hunched over himself a bit, coming to cradle the lower curve of  his midsection right away.

Then, Eren calmly pulled away from Hange, who looked surprised, “I can do it.” Was all he said.

Clearly he couldn’t because he had to hold himself against the railing as soon as another contraction pressed him. He hung his head in between his arms and tried to breathe in and out, but they came out more as moans than anything else. He could feel people around him, asking if he was okay, which he wasn’t clearly, but that couldn’t matter less to him, he just needed somewhere to sit.

“What the hell is going on here?” There’s a deep voice from the left side which makes Eren crack one eye open, only to see Reiner approaching them as if nothing is happening.

Eren blocked him out, he was far too uncomfortable to speak , let alone with Reiner of all people. Someone debriefed him, he couldn’t tell who, his ears were muffled by the blood vessels pulsing.

When he felt his mouth soften and gums relaxing, he pressed one of his hands on his back, where it hurt the most, and straightened his posture the best he could, “I really want to sit down.” He said breathlessly.

  It hadn’t dawned on him just how many people were around him, looking , staring him down .

Mikasa took a step forward and locked their arms together, holding him in place against her, “Come on.” She whispered calmly. He gave an appreciative nod and so they entered the closest room.

Hange wasted no time, Eren didn’t know how, but the whole room seemed ready for him: Towel on the spot on the bed where he presumed he was gonna lay in, a white blanket folded neatly next to the pillows and some basic medical equipment from Dr. Reeves’ office.

“So!” Hange says as she snaps a white glove on, “Where do I even begin?” they ask to the air. Eren simply heads to the bed, touching the mattress with his free hand before sitting on it, letting out a tiny groan.

“Do you know how many weeks of gestation you currently are?”

“About 38, I think.”

Hange crooks a brow, “You’re tiny for that, are you sure? No wonder no one noticed!”

Eren gives a half shrug, “As sure as I can be given the doctor’s appointments, there wasn’t anything to base it on.”

“What do you mean by that? I’m sure I gave you kids sex education? No need to be shy about it now Eren, we all know how babies are made!” They shrug with the last statement.

There was an obvious blush on Eren’s cheeks, if it was due to the strain or the embarrassment he was feeling it was more difficult to tell, “That’s the thing, there’s no one else…”

This makes Hange stop what she was doing to pay complete attention to Eren, “So you’re saying that…” Then a sudden rush of enthusiasm came from them, “My theory was correct!”

Eren has absolutely no clue what they’re talking about and it shows on his teary face.

“Titans can reproduce asexually after all! Shifters at least, you’ll have to let me examine you after this is over with!”

His abdomen hardens again and he can do nothing but breathe through it, he clutches the sheets under him roughly, shutting his eyes closed.

Mikasa gets next to him, sitting as well, just rubbing his back. He wants to sob until he can’t anymore, this hurts so much more than it should, it feels like there's a knife twisting back and forth on his insides and it’s hot, such a hot pain that runs through his middle all the way to his back and hips. He knows he’s able to give birth naturally , but it just feels wrong, a part of him is containing itself to not ask Hange to just cut him open and take his baby out.

It passes, like all the previous ones since the early morning, and his lungs can expand again without issue. He’s already getting propped against the fluffy pillows of the bed and Hange is covering his lower body with the white blanket.

“45 seconds and about 4 minutes apart… Okay, I’ll have to check you to see how things are going. Is that alright?” He nods firmly, brows furrowed.

It’s very awkward, laying on his back, legs spread and staring at the white ceiling while his commander is assessing his private areas. He hisses as he feels everything , “You need to relax Eren or else I won’t be able to figure out anything.” Hange tells him, her face covered by the blanket and the swell of his belly.

She rises up, taking the left glove off and tossing it in the trash they brought while preparing the room, “You’re 8 centimeters dilated. Contractions are coming a bit irregular but I don’t find it concerning for now, let’s wait it out and see if you progress nicelly.”

Eren squishes his face with both palms of his hands, “My water hasn’t broken yet though.”

“I can break it for you if you want, to get things moving. You can also walk it out if you feel like you can, the choice is yours Eren, no rush.”

“Just break it, this is awful.” He requests. The older one giggled softly, “Oh! This will be my first time doing this!”

He raises his neck to look at Hange beyond the small dome in front of him, “Don’t do it if you don’t know what you’re doing!”

They pull out a rod akin to a crochet hook from the medical bag, rolling it with their thumb and index finger, “I wouldn’t experiment on a situation like this, who do you take me for?”

Mikasa and Eren exchange a worried look.

She’s by his side when Hange gets between his legs once more, holding his hand and brushing away stray hairs from his mildly damp forehead, and she smiles , Mikasa smiles at him and it makes him almost forget the state he’s in because it’s such a sincere gesture and kind despite it all. She could be mad, he wouldn’t blame her, he hid this from everyone willingly, but there was no trace of that in her features.

He gasps when he feels something pop inside him, followed by a gush of fluid under him, “There, there. It’s done.” Hange tells him while patting him dry gently and tossing the wet towels to the side. 

He cries, of course he does, and it scares the other two in the room, “Does it hurt? What are you feeling?” The commander asks and Eren can only sob pathetically, “I don’t know why I'm crying.”

“Hey, it’s alright! No one’s judging you!” Hange reassures, covering his lower half better.

Levi comes rushing in as Hange’s moving away from Eren’s legs, he looks frantic, almost panicked? Eren can’t tell the difference at this point, nor cares enough to do so. Still he responds with both his brows furrowed upwards innocently, teary eyes wide in surprise, “Eren,” He starts, his hands waving slightly by the sides of his head, “You just turned 19! You are still so young.”

Is Levi worried about him?

Why is he so loud about it?

Eren stays silent, what is he even supposed to say ? Thankfully, Hange is there to back his ass up, so she turns to Levi with her arms crossed and says to the small man, “That’s not very helpful Levi. Can’t you see he’s in pain?”

Mikasa nods in agreement without uttering a word, just tightening her grip on Eren’s palm ever so slightly.

“Well no fucking shit he’s in pain.” He turns to Eren again, “Why did you think it was a good idea to keep this a secret?” He stresses out, fingers making little “o” shapes each hand.

Eren tries to answer, he really does, but Hange beats him to it, “Does that even matter now?” She asks with a condescending tone.

“If you want something to do, go fetch me some towels and warm water. Oh, and please do stop acting like you’re the one who will be pushing out a baby !”

Levi blinks at them, face scowling like usual, but he complies with a grumbled “fine” and makes it out the room without protesting any further.

Hange waits until he’s off on his way to turn to Eren and smile, “Now, let’s just wait it out.”

He can only give a fast nod back at them.

The next contraction almost tears him apart, it burns from within and he can’t help but scream. It’s not as loud as he can get, not even close, but it’s desperate and filled with passion. He was aware it would pick up as soon his water broke, still he wasn’t prepared for how gruesome they’d be. He knows if he had chosen to walk around, he’d already be meeting the floor by how numb his legs feel.

Levi enters the room then, face and hair covered with white bandanas, he carries a set of fresh towels and a deep bowl Eren can't quite remember the purpose for.

He gets angrily frustrated by his captain’s presence and it gets much worse when he decides to open his clothed mouth and address Hange, “Four-eyes, I got what you asked for-”

Levi is only allowed a couple seconds to react because Eren throws a pillow at him full force, screeching out until he’s out of sight, “GET OUTTTTTT!!! UGHHHHH!”

Everyone stands speechless and looks down at the older man who is crouching on the floor to avoid the fluffy impact from the pillow. Jean offers to help him up, holding out a hand towards Levi, but the captain is quick on his feet, ignoring him, “Tch. I came here for the duck rice, I didn't have to help at all .” Levi grumbles.

Eren finds that laying on his side helps to subdue the pain, even if just a little. He lets go of Mikasa’s hand and closes his vibrant green eyes, he can’t hear, he can’t breathe normally, he can only feel pain and a sour taste on his tongue.

He exhales through his mouth, rounding his lips and letting out pained sounds. Hange places a pillow between his knees and he’s quick to hug it tightly, he hugs himself too, buries his hands under his armpits and squeezes, self soothing.

He moans out when it’s over, a long annoyed sound, he can tell his whole body is shivering from the pain. Somebody begins rubbing his arm that isn’t touching the bed up and down, pressing oh his skin, it feels nice, Eren thinks. It doesn't hurt nor makes him uncomfortable, it grounds him somehow.

All around him feels out of touch, like he’s light headed after just waking up, even when he turns his head to the side to look at who’s reassuring him, his tears blur the image of his blonde best friend.

There's a few more rubs on his arm after they lock eyes and Eren can recognize who’s touching him, they become gentler and Armin gives him a smile, although he can’t return the gesture. “You’re good Eren, you’re doing great.” He tells his friend, Eren tries to scoff, but it comes out as a little huff, “I’m really not.”

Eren closes his eyes again and covers the half of his face that is laying against the pillow with the hand that was under his left armpit. He takes a set of slow, deep and quiet breaths before letting out into the confinements of the room and whoever is inside to hear it, “I’m gonna be sick.”

“What are you feeling? Tell me everything.”

He sniffles, “Nauseous… and hot.”

Hange’s steps are heard around the room, her boots going from one point to another and when they stop, Eren feels a wet rag on his face, cooling him off, “Does this feel nice?” he nods, regulating his breathing.

“Do you want water? It’s important to stay hydrated!” She says to him, already offering a full glass. He looks at it through slanted eyes and almost turns green at the mere sight, “I’ll throw up.”

They place the glass on top of the bedside table and keep patting delicately on his red cheeks, “It’s alright, keep breathing like that Eren.”

This back and forth of contractions keeps going for a few more hours, only worsening by the minute. People from the other side of the door go to eat or attend to their own personal duties, but they always return to face the rectangular dark wood, asking each other how things are progressing.

Levi and Armin are the only ones that keep coming out of the room, one to get supplies and the other to calm himself down for seeing his friend go through such an immense life changing event.

They hear cries and screams from the other side, all different levels of discomfort and pain, some rustling of bedsheets and Hange comforting Eren the best they could.

There was a sob filled scream that became clearer as Levi entered the room again with more towels and water, muffling as the door came to close behind the small man’s frame. Within the four walls, Eren rolled to the opposite side of the bed, face red and drenched in both sweat and tears, groaning out the remnants of the last wave of pain that set his core ablaze.

“Eren, maybe we could try another position? To get the baby to move a bit more downwards?” Hange proposed, putting on a brand new pair of gloves.

Eren curled more unto himself, scrunching his face ugly, “Nooooo…” he sobbed out, not responding to Mikasa’s reassuring back rubs and hand holding.

“Is it normal to take this long?” The girl asks the commander. “I’m not sure. First time births usually take longer, he still needs to get to ten centimeters in order to actually get to the pushing phase.”

Mikasa’s headache has only gotten stronger, along with Eren’s pain, yet she can’t even begin to compare the two. While she’s able to stand and speak, Eren can only scream out and wait until the deal is over with. She’s worried to death, who isn’t at this point? Floch got word of what was happening and he as well was taking turns at staking outside the room. Most of them have never seen anything of the sort before, this all was new territory to the ones who didn’t grow up in a village, so having their friend writhing in pain just within their reach, was another level of stress they never imagined they’d have to endure.

Things only got worse when Eren began begging for his mom. His very much dead mom.

“I want my mom… my mom…”

He would only stop to bear through another relentless contraction.

Finally, he got to the so wished upon 10 centimetres and immediately after, he was telling Hange he had to push. They turned him to his back like he was in the beginning of all this, supported by several pillows, Mikasa’s sturdy hand on his sweaty one and the words of encouragement from Hange, all prevailed for this final battle.

Reiner was asked to join them to hold Eren’s other hand, since he was one of the strongest nearby. Armin just couldn’t take it, this was too much for him to just sit back and watch, so they agreed to it after a game of rock, paper, scissors and Eren’s explicit permission, of course.

“I don’t give a shit anymore!”

They didn’t try anything else, afraid of getting the Levi treatment.

The waiting part of labor screwed Eren over, he had nothing else to do but get through it, scream until his throat burned and cry oceans of tears. But now, he had something to fight against, he could react to what was happening to him. The first time he pushed was weird, his back was killing him now and his asshole was burning for some reason. The contractions last longer too, Hange tells him to bear down and count to 10 and he does as he’s told, crushing the two hands that are holding his own.

Although, after pushing for an hour and screaming Reiner’s ear off: “I don’t want to hear a PEEP from you!”, when he told him his cousin’s birth was also leighty, Hange took notice of how the baby wasn’t budging from its place on Eren’s pelvis.

They pat Eren’s bent knee, getting his attention, “I think kiddo is stuck.”

The boy tosses his head back onto the top of the pillows, starting to cry out again in desperation, “For fucks sake!”

“I can unlodge it, but I'll have to go all in. Sorry.” They present to the labouring father-to-be. “Just get on with it!” Were all the words he could make out without them sounding like complete sobbing gibberish. It was a wonder he could speak at all as it is.

Eren let Hange do as she needed and it felt tremendously painful . Everything about this experience was painful, but this particular part? Oh buddy, it was hell . He could feel it all until his kid’s head popped out from where it was stuck in.

Hange asks him, after retrieving their hands from Eren, “From zero to ten, how painful is it?”

He’s out of breath, shaking and plain messy, his vocal cords fail on him so he raises all ten of his fingers up in front of his face, Reiner looks at him pale from the silent answer.

By the time he was cursing everybody and their mom when he got to the unholy so called “ring of fire”, his fighting spirit was wearing off, not even the adrenaline was helping now, he was absolutely exhausted and it ached severely in Hange’s heart when this boy — because that’s what he still is in all truth —pleaded that she’d just cut him open and take his child out.

“It’s okay Eren! I can already see the head! You are so close, just keep it up!

“I’m tired Hange!” He sobbed loudly.

“I know, but this is the final stretch, I know you can do it!”

Subconsciously, he rolls to his side again, making Hange and Levi have to hold his legs apart so he doesn’t close them, “Nonono, Eren I have to be able to see.” Hange told him while gently pulling his calf away.

There wasn’t any will in him to fight them off to have his way, he was just way too tired and frustrated to care anymore. He moans a loud drawn out whimper, the nape of his neck hitting the pillows again. His legs were numb, he could only feel the sweat dripping on his skin and the firm grip of Levi and Hange on them.

His throat was getting sore and on the borderline of giving out completely, hours upon hours of screaming nonstop would do that to anyone.

When he gets the overwhelming urge to push again, he gives it all he can. His chin meets his collarbone and his jaw clenches tightly, there’s a sting of burn prickling where he felt his child slip further out from inside him.

Hange praises him during the contraction and after he’s done, “That’s it! Just a few more, come on!”

He can’t speak, so he gathers his remaining strength to push again when the time is due and, after the 10 seconds he spends breathing through a wall of closed teeth, he can tell there is a drop of pressure downstairs, and he drops back with relief, clutching both hands that held his tighter.

“The head is out!”

Eren finds it in him to curl his lips up to the ceiling in a crooked smile, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel after all these restless hours.

The rest is easy, the shoulders pop free one at a time and with a last strong push, the baby is born. Eren is so dizzy by the end, his clothes are soaked in sweat and his hair, that is still tied somehow, is a mess, he looks forward to Hange, who is cleaning their tiny airways, and his heart stops with the silence .

He can’t breathe, just huff his fatigue out, he stares through half lidded eyes the pink creature Hange is aiding, rubbing its back in haste until there’s a distinguished cough followed by a shrill cry.

Hange gives a triumphant smile, looking for a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord and she announces: “It’s a boy!”

Mikasa and Reiner work on pulling him up, but he lets go of them to hold both his arms out to his son— oh his son —who is crying as much as he is at this point, but both for very distinct reasons.

He hugs him tightly yet still carefully when he’s handed over the shrieking baby, propping his small head on the crook of his elbow close to his face, cradling the baby’s bottom like when he’d hold the end of his bump to follow his sets of kicks that used to keep him up all night.

He’s so small, still scrunched on himself, and Eren mimics as best he can with his legs still splayed from the delivery. His eyes are fixed on his red scrunched face, the blow his eardrums receive doesn’t even get to him, Eren is far too busy staring at the person he waited so long and worked so hard to meet.

A minuscule hand rests its back against his agape sobbing mouth and he gives it a chaste kiss, still filled with love, he doesn’t even care that the white waxy substance around the baby gets on him, to be honest, he can’t taste anything else but his own tears, saliva and snot.

If there are people talking, he can’t understand them, because his most important person has just cried for the first time.

There’s a thought that crosses his mind fast, “ was this how my mom felt? ”

Eren doesn’t entertain it for now, he can’t, he is holding his whole world in his hands and they are facing each other for the first time after 9 months of sharing a body. One of his hands comes to the little head to caress the soft fuzz of dark hair and he sobs at how huge it is in comparison and at how fragile he knows it is.

He is trying to compose himself but he simply can’t, the more he studies his son’s steadily calming face, he’s back to shedding tears.

What gathers his attention is when he feels a faint contraction blooming on his abdomen, he looks at Hange, face wet from tears and sweat with baby hairs sticking to the tan skin like he just went for a swim, and she tells him while smiling, “It’s the afterbirth, don’t worry.”

He nods, turning his head down immediately after to mesmerize again. After that cut in his adrenaline fueled trance, his breathing begins to settle, his tears are more regular and the heavy weight of the whole day makes him lay back down, little one still on his arms.

That’s when Hange, very seriously, gets close enough to tell him, “You’re a warrior Eren. Look at what you made.”

For the first time in hours he cracks a sincere smile, tracing the outline of his baby’s chubby cheek.

He’s reluctant to hand him over to Hange, he knows it’s necessary for his health, but it’s like his arms are glued to his son, keeping him close to his uncovered chest.

Hange is quick with her tests and Levi begins cleaning Eren over with a wet sponge, it feels nice and he finds it easy to close his eyes for a bit, taking in the soft sounds of the room, the happy chitchatter of Mikasa and Reiner telling their friends outside the news.

“Oi, don’t fall asleep yet, we’ll run you a bath.” Levi tells him, flicking him between his eyebrows. He didn’t use any force, this was more of a way to keep him awake than a punishment. Levi didn’t hold any malice in him, even his comments when they found out what was happening were coming from a place of care and concern, no matter how harsh they may have sounded.

“Yes, sir.” He mumbled, eyes kept closed.

The baby was very healthy from what Hange could tell, nice weight and height despite being so small, good reflexes and no apparent abnormalities. 

He was… perfect.

With all the faults his singular parent had, he was all the goodness. The little one settled down fairly quickly after his check up, all bundled in a warm blanket and nappied down, he’s placed again on Eren’s awaiting embrace. He’s still covered in that white substance, he notices, all the folds of chubby skin on his newborn have it, it’s… kinda gross, Eren admits to himself. He can’t say much for himself, he’s disgusting right now, sprayed in blood, birth fluids, sweat and tears.

Still, he doesn’t care when he rubs their nose tips together. The little baby scrunches his face at the contact, Eren retracts to look at him and his eyes open for the first time, examining the surroundings, focusing on his dad’s face. They’re a light grey with hints of green, so serene, so new— the color will change with time, Eren knows, yet he still wishes to himself that they’d stay like this forever. Forever innocent and sleepy.

“Hello there.” he’s able to mumble with a clear voice.

Eren wiggles his index finger in front of his kid’s face, and it’s like he knows who he is, even though his facial expressions are impossible to read, mostly due to the fact he was born not even an ago.

They bond for some time, until Eren feels more like himself at least. He’s yet to be hit with the realization that he’s a father now, that somehow he brought life into this world and his son is absolutely flawless . In all truth, he held zero expectations to what he could look like, one thing for certain is that he would resemble him a lot, there wasn’t much doubt about that. Eren did wonder at times and yet, this little boy was more than whatever he could have asked for.

The baby falls asleep without a fuss, he’s calm — the only differentiating factor between them at this point in terms of personality — rocked by the steady rise and fall of his father’s warm chest and soft hug from the blanket.

Eren looks at Mikasa and her expression seems as enchanted as his, her gaze peacefully laying on the tiny newcomer.

“I’ve never seen a baby this young before.” She whispers to Eren.

“I did once, but I barely remember it. Dad took me on one of his work trips.” He softly explained, voice raw and small..

“Does he have a name?”

There’s a fleeting pause, “I’m still figuring that out.”

They exchange tooth filled smiles.

Mikasa was more than happy to hold her nephew for Eren to go take a well deserved bath, anyone that didn’t know her would look and think she’s a regular woman and not a ruthless soldier with an impressive battlefield bodycount. She supports the baby’s head, using her free hand to fix the blanket around him, tears threatening to fall as her eyes well up.

She beams at the currently nameless child, observing all the similarities he shares with Eren. He’s all him, to no surprise, mayhaps he’ll inherit features from his grandparents, people he will never get to meet beyond an empty grave, people she held so close and dear to her heart. People she is certain would be as enamored with this new being that came unannounced as she is herself.

Armin gets beside her at some point, she had noticed, but was far too engrossed with the baby to acknowledge him. “He’s really tiny.” He remarks and she nods along, still fixed on his cherubic form.

“Look at that frown.” He smirked excitedly, “It’s like when Eren was little.”

She giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. Even if his eyebrows are so light.”

“Do you think they’ll thicken out? That’d be cute.”

Mikasa tilts her head while looking down at his pinky face, “I hope so. Although he’s already adorable.”

Meanwhile, Eren is sitting on the edge of the bed, gathering enough strength to walk to the on suite bathroom. Levi and Hange stand on each side of him, ready to stabilize his shaky steps. He feels how his privates are extremely sore and even if his titan powers have already begun to take effect to heal him, there’s no avoiding the gruesome pain.

He needs their help rising up to his feet, the discomfort he already felt gets more pronounced, making him hiss. The couple help him take easy and slow steps, one after the other with no rush, Eren keeps turning his head around towards where he left his son, stealing quick glances at the blanket that covers him in Mikasa’s arms.

“He’s not running away, Eren. He barely knows he exists.” Deadpanned the short captain, earning a playful scowl from Hange. “Come on Levi! Don’t mind him, he’s just jealous he hasn’t gotten a chance to hold him yet.” She ends the phrase sticking her tongue out towards her partner, who can only scoff in return.

He doesn’t answer them, choosing to focus on the placement and sturdiness of his steps instead. 

Getting to the tub is somehow more difficult, because he has to work some of the sets of muscles that just helped him give birth. It hurts, but that’s no surprise— the medicated water helps soothe all his aches though. Levi scrubs his dirty skin firmly while Hange soaps up his long hair, massaging his scalp, careful to not let any get in his tired eyes.

Eren could fall asleep to that, he sure was close to do so, but then he’d get washed over with a bucket of warm water, making him go back to his senses in an instant. The two work efficiently, careful to keep him from moving too much, not that he wants to anyways, but he still makes an effort to maneuver his limbs to wherever they need in order to wash. 

They don’t bother him much, just enough for him to be clean and fresh. When he’s pulled out of the tub, there’s a moment where he gets to glance at his toweled body in the sink mirror— His stomach is still pushing forward, despite it being empty now. Eren runs a hand along it, feeling the wet skin and then pushes down on it, it’s soft and malleable, far too different from when his son was still growing inside him.

He misses the kicks and punches.

He’s too exhausted to process all these complicated emotions swallowing him, so he shifts his mind to getting dressed to go back to his son. He just needs help pulling his pajama pants up and he’s done, all clean and neat. Or as neat as one can be in his situation.

Eren makes the great effort of walking by himself back to the bed slowly but surely, Hange and Levi trailing right behind him in case he needs a helping hand.

Armin is the one holding the bundle now, showing him off to Jean, who is equally impressed by the sight, smiling away to the clueless newborn. Eren gets sidetracked on his short path to the bed and goes to the other couple, holding out his arms and pleading, “Can you give me my baby, please?”

They stiffen at him, noticing his glazed over eyes, and Armin passes the baby attentively to his father, who embraces his small frame right away, stroking under his chin and turning to the covers after. He sits on them quietly, making a reverberating groan with his throat when his bottom presses against the mattress, closing his eyes and furrowing his thick brows.

Once both him and baby snuggle in bed, they have a few more guests, none of them staying too long, Levi wouldn’t let them make a meeting spot out of that space. Surprisingly, Floch was one of the last to enter, offering a polite “congrats” before heading off, with nothing else to say, even if he was one of the most concerned.

Eren waves all the weirded out faces of his friends, “Don’t mind him. He’s always been an odd one.” He croaks.

Hange manages to find a basket to place the baby in for him to safely sleep, right next to Eren. It’s somewhat shallow, so he gets a good view of his son’s sleeping face that twitches from time to time, “is he dreaming?” Eren asks himself, eyelids heavy with exhaustion, each blink taking longer to open again.

He ends up slipping into a deep sleep, holding onto the hem of the basket his son found comfort in.

====

Hours later, Dr.Reeves is walking through the front door, all his supply bags in hand, just marching to his office.

Levi stops him in his tracks, standing menacingly in front of the taller man with his arms crossed.

“Good evening captain, nice day we had today, no?”

Levi looks daggers into him, swiftly snapping him with a towel, “It’s a boy.” Then walking past the now scared doctor, slamming his shoulder on the closest body part, since theirs were too far off from each other.