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Kim Roksoo knew more than anything that the night was always cold.
Whether he was indoors or outdoors, he’d always feel a chill in the air, somehow. His feet, from the tips of his toes, sometimes up to his knees, would get cold, in a stiff way, like there was ice under his skin, and moving around would feel sore.
He remembered a few times where there was nothing else he could do but curl into his body that already felt like it froze over and wonder if he’d gone numb and dead, in the night, and then wake up the next day.
He remembered lots of things about cold, silent nights. With fragile quiet that could be broken in just a moment. By the wiggle of a doorknob, shattering glass, the loud sound of the television, a cat’s hiss, rustling, yelling, screaming, anything. And they’d all be ten-times more loud.
He remembered— he remembered many things. He remembered feeling like a dead body, and he really didn’t want to remember anything about it. But it was night now, and the jacket wasn’t really cutting it. He felt the familiar cold chills crawl through his body and sighed, curling into the side of the couch in the dark living room.
“Roksoo,”
Kim Roksoo felt like a still corpse, right now.
A warm hand pressed against his shoulder in a few taps, then a squeeze. Kim Roksoo looked to his side. “Roksoo,”
Team Leader Lee Soohyuk’s hair was wet, dripping at the ends and getting on the couch, a towel was draped over his shoulder. “...Team Leader-nim.”
“It’s your turn to shower now,” he said, before reaching over and wiping off some dirt from his face.
“Mmpfh—” he frowned, swatting his hand away. Lee Soohyuk huffed.
“You look out of it,”
“....”
“You know, your eyes are doing that thing again where they look like a ghost’s,” Lee Soohyuk said, tone a bit playful, but Kim Roksoo could feel the concern laced underneath. “Is it your ability being annoying again?”
“...” Kim Roksoo sighed and gave a small nod. “...it’s being kind of difficult. And it’s cold.”
Lee Soohyuk turned away momentarily, and when he came back, a red towel— Kim Roksoo’s towel— was draped over his head. He also handed him a fresh set of clothes. “Go shower. I ran a hot bath for you.”
“...” Kim Roksoo blinked up at him but got up, feeling a bit dazed. He almost stumbled because he’d gotten up too fast, head feeling light as blood rushed. He groaned and headed for the bathroom.
There was steam covering the mirror, probably since Lee Soohyuk just finished using it. The air also felt a bit warm, though the bathroom floor was ice-cold. For now reason at all, Kim Roksoo curiously dragged his finger across the mirror and drew a single line. Through that line, which was like a window in a cloudy wall, he saw a glimpse of his reflection, bags under his tired-looking eyes.
In the tub, as promised, was what seemed like a warm bath, water still running. Kim Roksoo switched off the tap and sighed, taking a minute before taking his dirty clothes off and getting in.
The warm ceiling light illuminated the light tiled walls and floor, and Kim Roksoo simply stared ahead as he sat, half-submerged in hot water. He could feel the droplets trickling off his rough skin. He closed his eyes, for a little.
It felt warm. Warm baths were nice.
He rubbed the grime off his face, and cleaned the dirt from his nails. Kim Roksoo rubbed at his skin. The dirty parts washed off, but his scars would remain. He traced them with the tip of finger, light and deep alike.
That day’s mission hadn’t been too bad. They got dirty, and they got cuts and bruises everywhere, of course like usual. But there were no major injuries, no need for hospital visits, the nurse healer didn’t need to expend too much to heal them, and the monsters were lower ranked and were manageable enough with their numbers.
Tiring, but okay. And okay was the best he could really ask for.
His thoughts felt a bit hazy, but things were beginning to bleed back into focus.
Kim Roksoo pulled out the drain, and switched on the shower. He soaked his hair and put on some 3-in-1 shampoo that Lee Soohyuk used. He scrubbed himself down with soap, and washed it all away with water. Then he got out of the tub and headed towards the sink. The mirror was back to being completely covered in warm steam again, but faint traces of his randomly drawn line was still there. He wiped the mirror and left a clear blob at the center where he could see his face then soaked it with water.
“Mn…” Right, and he should probably use face-wash, maybe. Choi Jungsoo bought some for him last week.
He got a bit of it in his eye, but the water helped clear it out. Afterwards, he was about to go, when he saw the mug on the sink with three toothbrushes. Kim Roksoo usually had a hard time with brushing, but he decided he’d do it tonight, thinking about being nagged by Lee Soohyuk.
The minty toothpaste was practically burning his whole mouth as he gurgled cool water to cleanse and spit it out. He did feel clean, though. That was nice.
“Roksoo, are you still in there?” Lee Soohyuk called out from outside the door.
“Mn, I’m changing right now,”
“Hurry out,”
“‘Kay,”
He stepped out of the bathroom, feet wet, and dried them on the rug. Kim Roksoo sat at the kitchen table where Choi Jungsoo was, head laid atop the wooden table looking as if he could snooze off any second.
“M’sleepy,” he whined, staring up at Kim Roksoo, who was opening his phone.
“Then go to sleep,”
“Can’t, I’m so goddamn sore,” he frowned, somewhat pouty like a kid. “Ugh, and I’m hungry…”
The microwave beeped at that moment, extremely loud in the quiet apartment. Lee Soohyuk opened the door and carried over some leftovers in a bowl for them and scooped out some warm rice from the rice cooker on the kitchen counter.
Kim Roksoo silently watched from the table, still feeling a little light headed. Sometimes his thoughts were bothering him with random memories and scenarios, and reminding him of unresolved burdens and deadlines. It all felt like a mountain’s worth of weight on his head.
A hand suddenly landed atop his head, where a towel was draped, and shook it around. “Aigooo, didn’t you say you were cold? Hm?” Lee Soohyuk said from behind him in a nagging voice, before sitting down on the third chair around the table. “You’re not even drying your hair properly. Didn’t anyone ever tell you going to sleep with wet hair’ll make you sick?”
He frowned. “I know that,”
“Pfft— you’re frowning like you’re a little kid,” Choi Jungsoo laughed, lifting his head from the table and drowsily reaching up towards Roksoo’s head. He stood up and started drying his hair by rapidly rubbing his red towel against it.
“Hey—”
“My mom used to scold me for this kinda thing too, y’know. Just sit back, I know how to get it dry the fastest,”
“My head might roll off–”
“Psh— no it won’t,”
“You annoying—!”
“Haha, you’re pouting again! How cute~”
“Stop making a racket, it’s too late for this kind of thing,” Lee Soohyuk sighed, picking out from the bowl of leftover kimchi. They don’t usually have such plain dinners but really, this was all they could manage tonight from the exhaustion.
Kim Roksoo just frowned— because no, he wasn’t pouting, that’s childish— and let Choi Jungsoo make a mess out of his hair in an attempt to dry it with a towel. He’d never admit it, but it also felt a bit nice, the warmth from his fingers through the towel, and it felt a bit like a massage. Though he wasn’t sure if it was making his headache better or not.
“Wow, it’s sticking up all over like a porcupine~”
“Looks more like a grumpy cat that got out of a bath,” Lee Soohyuk commented, already eating. He chuckled. “That’s a pretty disrespectful look you’re giving your team leader there, Roksoo-yah,”
Despite laughing, Choi Jungsoo smoothed over his dark hair with his fingers, strands sticking out being pushed back down. He hummed. “Smells nice, did you use Team Leader Soohyuk’s shampoo?”
“Mn, I guess,” Kim Roksoo shrugged as he wicked up his chopsticks and drank some water. “I just grabbed the nearest bottle.”
“I’ll let it slide just this once,” Lee Soohyuk shrugged. His long hair was dry, though still messily strewn about as it draped over his shoulder and flowed past, let down. A few loose strands framed his face.
It was cold a while ago, but… it was starting to feel warmer, now.
“Roksoo, you look like you’re spacing out again,”
Kim Roksoo’s eyes were droopy and heavy as he began to nod off, holding up a piece of kimchi with his chopsticks drowsily. “Hm?”
“Hurry up and finish that, then we can go and sleep,” Choi Jungsoo suggested as he scooped up more rice from the rice cooker, going for seconds like usual. Kim Roksoo hummed back with a nod.
Kim Roksoo carried over their dirty plates in a stack to the sink, cool water running. He winced internally at the cold feeling against his skin, but rinsed the plates down before scrubbing with a sponge.
“Roksoo-yah~ Give that one to me, I’ll put it in the cabinet,” Choi Jungsoo said, beside him.
“Mn, sure,”
Lee Soohyuk opened the fridge and put the kimchi back in, ready to be reheated again for breakfast the next morning. He checked to make sure the door was all locked, and the windows were closed. He glanced over at Kim Roksoo who was spacing out again with cold water running over his hands despite the dishes being moved already, and switched off the tap. “Let’s hurry and sleep,” he said, gently pushing Kim Roksoo out of the kitchen and into the direction of their room.
Three futons were laid out next to each other in a row on the floor on top of a mat. Choi Jugsoo all but collapsed down to his futon, messily half-covered by the blanket, beginning to drift off in just near-seconds. Kim Roksoo stretched a little and set alarms on his phone before burrowing himself underneath the covers, feeling exhausted. Lee Soohyuk was on his left on the other end, letting out a long sigh as he stared at the ceiling fan that was spinning above them.
“Kim Roksoo,”
“Mn?”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled back, drowsy and a little slurred as his blinks gradually became slower. “I keep thinking about useless things. My brains feels like it got stuffed with cotton,”
“Hm, is that so?” he replied, turning to his side to face Choi Jungsoo, who was already snoring away, and Kim Roksoo.
Kim Roksoo closed his eyes and mumbled again. “... also a bit cold,” he paused. “Mn, but I guess it’s… it’s fine, now,”
“Better?”
“Mhm,” he hummed back, affirmative as he slowly gave into sleep. “It’s warmer, now,”
“Is it?” Even though he wasn’t looking his way, Kim Roksoo could tell Lee Soohyuk was probably smiling a little. “Night, Roksoo,”
“...g’night,”
May the new morning welcome them with warmth.