Chapter Text
This feeling… It was strange. New, but definitely familiar.
The slight rush of heat in his cheeks he felt walking with him. The flutter in his stomach when he laughed that took too long to dissipate. The secret thrill when their eyes met.
It was love. Or, at the very least, a crush.
The new part was that Garroth’s crush was a boy.
He tried to ignore it for a long while. It’d go away, after all, like crushes are supposed to. Not that he’s ever had a crush he didn’t end up dating…
Zane was gay, from what Garroth knew. He saw how their father reacted to Zane talking about a boy he liked. It was clear from the start it was not something Garte would tolerate.
So, clearly Garroth wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be, after all. He’s the perfect son, the one with good grades who gets all the girls and actually has his father’s attention.
He couldn’t survive being outcast, stuck on the outskirts of his family like… like Zane.
Oh, and there’s the guilt. Shouldn’t he feel bad for his little brother? After all, it was a difficult life already for Zane before he came out.
Still… maybe Zane should have just kept his mouth shut.
Then maybe Garte would pay more attention to him, and whatever Zane felt about… men… would fade away. Then a little pressure would be lifted from Garroth’s shoulders, hopefully.
Or maybe Garroth should have gone with Mom when she left. He could have brought Zane along, and they could have been exploring the world together with Vylad. Just the four of them.
But none of that happened. Garroth was stuck here, trying to ignore the boy he was sitting next to.
He couldn’t afford more distractions, not after Garte’s threats to cut him off. It sucked to admit, but the money was part of why he was so well liked by teachers and girls alike.
Girls. That’s it. Garroth just needed to find a new girlfriend, stat. That way he could forget all about the thing he’s definitely not feeling, and leave it behind him forever.
After all, he couldn’t be in love with his best friend.
Aphmau was cute. Short, angry, naive. Garroth felt a spark there, a spark hopefully bright enough to outshine the one hovering between him and Laurance.
Unfortunately, Laurance seemed to have a similar idea. He started flirting with Aphmau, which was nothing out of the ordinary when it came to the two most popular guys in school.
Still, it meant Laurance was around . Using his flirtatious voice. With someone else.
GAH. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.
Laurance was too good of a friend to lose to something stupid like this. He was clever, so much smarter than Garroth… He understood the world in a perspective that was so fresh and new. Despite being much more poor, he’d had a thousand times the experiences that Garroth had. He was on a self-paved path to greatness, while Garroth was on a path paved by his dad.
And, Irene , somehow he was suddenly cute, too.
“Come here often?” Laurance’s attempt at a suave voice broke Garroth out of his spiraling.
Laur was more soft-spoken than his blond bestie, with longer hair and a darker complexion. He often wore looser, darker clothing, probably from his experience being in a gang a year ago. Wait, was he wearing makeup? Garroth recognized it from Zane’s–
Stop looking at his face. Stop it. He’s going to notice.
Aphmau closed her locker, raising an eyebrow at Laurance. “…To school? Yeah, I guess you could say that.” She chuckled as Laurance’s cheeks flushed. “Hey, don’t sweat it. You won’t believe the amount of awkward things I’ve said this week.”
Garroth leaned against a locker on the opposite side, nearly slipping and falling when Laurance glanced at him for support. Garroth shot him a quick thumbs-up and a perfect white smile, which seemed to reignite Laurance’s confidence. And my insides.
Laurance groaned. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just… I got my period.”
Garroth blanched. “Your wha?”
“…My period. The cramps are really bad right now.”
“You’re a girl??” Garroth blurted out. Is that why he had his not-crush on him?
“What? No! Garroth… did you not know I was trans??”
“You’re… trans? Like, transgender? You were a girl?”
“I’m a boy, Gar. I was always a boy. I just… happen to have girl parts.”
Garroth blinked slowly, while his best friend stared at him incredulously.
“I don’t like everyone to know, but… I thought it was obvious to you at least. We’ve been best friends for half a year. I literally look so much like a girl, and my voice–“
“What’s wrong with your voice?” Garroth inquired, confused.
“It’s really girly. Come on, Garroth. I know you’re not that dense.”
“Well… Sure your voice is higher than mine, but so are plenty of guys.” Garroth didn’t understand his logic. Like, that sporty girl Katelyn had a deep voice, and she was a girl. Never once had Garroth suspected…
Oh, shoot. Did this make Garroth- what was the word? Transphobiac? For having a crush on a trans guy? Was that invalidating his identity?? Even though Garroth didn’t even know he was trans???
“I can’t believe you didn’t know… I’m sorry, I probably should have outright told you.” Laurance wrapped his arms around his knees. “I just haven’t had great experiences before.”
Garroth nodded slowly. “Your ex, right? In that gang you were in?”
Laurance squeezed his eyes shut.
“Sorry, Laur. You don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to.”
The brunette shook his head. “No, it’s… okay. And, it’s him.”
“Huh?”
“My ex. He’s a guy.”
“…Oh.” Laurance was… gay?
“He thought I was a girl, so it… just didn’t work out. Not to mention he’s pretty toxic for unrelated reasons…” Laurance chuckled dryly. “There’s a reason he kicked me out of the Shadow Knights.”
Wait… Did that mean…
“GENE? Your ex is GENE?”
Laurance hit Garroth lightly on the shoulder with his math book. “Dude, shut up! You don’t need to tell the whole courtyard.”
“I can’t believe that… I never pried before, because well, I saw how your face looked whenever I brought up the Knights. So you’re not just trans, you’re also gay??”
Laurance’s body language seemed to constrict on itself. He was hugging his knees, and his eyebrows furrowed.
“Is that a problem?” He muttered, not meeting Garroth’s eyes. “‘Cause like, I’d understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. You’re a perfect sort of guy, not the type to be okay with this stuff. For the record, I’m not some kind of creep who made friends with you just–“
“Hey, hey, wait,” Garroth cut him off. “I’m far from perfect. I don’t exactly have much experience with transgender people, but my brother is gay! You’re still the same Laurance I knew… right?”
Laurance nodded, then exhaled with amusement. “That’s your experience with gay people? Your brother that barely talks to you?”
“He talks to me! Er… I talk to him. He doesn’t exactly like to answer back.”
“Why, because you suck up to your dad? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how much Zane hates him.”
“Hey, give me some credit. I know he doesn’t like Dad, because… well, Dad doesn’t like him. Who he is, basically. And not just the gay parts.”
“Rich white homophobic dad. What a rare sight. That does explain why you’re so sheltered and oblivious, though.”
“Hey! Who are you calling oblivious?”
Laurance just blinked in Garroth’s direction until the blond looked away. Laurance chuckled and leaned back, finally removing his arms from around his knees.
“You really don’t mind, huh? You’re just really really bad at noticing, like… anything.”
Garroth opened his mouth to argue, then decided against it. They both knew who would win, after all. He just nodded and patted Laurance’s shoulder.
So what if Garroth’s best friend was gay and trans? He’s still the same guy he’s always known.
…That means his not-crush on Laurance would definitely be gay. If it were a crush. Which it wasn’t.
For a while, Garroth was almost able to ignore the uncomfortable flutter in his stomach.