Chapter Text
I wouldn’t recommend making deals with Death. And definitely not if Agatha Harkness or her coven are involved… Well, the "No-Coven," as this bunch of witches and one wizard like to call themselves. Because, to be honest, if they were a real coven, they should get along, and in the best-case scenario, they can barely stand each other.
Here’s how it all started: Río Vidal made a deal with Billy Maximoff, revealing a couple of secrets that this humble familiar isn’t brave enough to share just yet, or Agatha will leave me without any carrots again. And, dear readers, we simply can’t let that happen. So I warn you: what comes next is at your own risk.
Because, being a true Maximoff, Billy plays with reality at will—his own, his new partner’s (yes, Death), and sometimes, just to satisfy Agatha’s whims. And yes, that includes bringing someone back to life, killing them again, or… well, there are many types of torture the boy has learned under my lady’s tutelage.
But I’m also going to tell you some rather explicit things. Because I’m a rabbit with very bad luck. Or with very small legs, which is basically the same thing: I can’t get out of rooms as fast as Lilia. For someone 450 years old, she runs like a young lady… I wish I could.
The deal was this: as a condition for helping, Río demanded that Billy—and any soul brought back—live under the same roof as her. That is, Agatha’s house. Or rather, Ralph’s house. That way, she could keep a close eye on them and make sure they didn’t cause any more trouble.
Billy and the No-Coven agreed. In exchange, they would help Río win Agatha’s love back. And if she managed to fix things with her wife, Río would grant Billy and Tommy Maximoff full rights to existence. Though, of course, she didn’t exactly explain to the boy how she planned to do that.
And that’s how Agatha Harkness, Lilia Calderu, Alice Wu-Gulliver, Jennifer Kale, Billy Maximoff (alias Billy Kaplan), Río Vidal, and I, Mr. Scratchy, ended up living together in Ralph Bohner’s old house in Westview.
Oh, and by the hand of fate—and because it wasn’t her time—Río kindly decided to bring Mrs. Hart back to life. So I can still eat those delicious dandelions without feeling guilty.