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Sam was officially having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, with no sign of things letting up anytime soon.
There was the waking up minus one arm, getting scared to death by a shadowy figure lurking by his bedside, opening the door to one of his neighbors only to find a spine fluid-sucking monster, almost getting run over by a bus, somehow ending up in the trenches of war, and coming back home to a cockroach-infested apartment. On top of that he now found himself with two children to take care of (one more rat than child), a janitor scrutinizing his entire apartment and being very judgmental about all his cleaning-related life decisions, and what appeared to be a homicidal maniac but luckily only towards others so that’s good right? They all needed a place to stay and who was he to say no?
Yeah. It’s been a day. He was frankly exhausted. All he wanted to do is take a hot shower and go to bed. He’s no longer used to being around so many people at once, and without any breaks. Not since he got fired had his social battery been this drained.
That’s when he remembered Lyle, and the photograph he’d promised to develop by today.
Sam groaned, rubbing his eyes with his one remaining hand. He should probably go downstairs and do that today, lest Lyle thinks something happened to him. Lyle was already worried enough when Sam showed up on his doorstep missing an arm. He promised. And he hated having someone worry about him.
Okay. Photograph, then back home to shower and sleep.
Sam pushed himself off the couch and started heading for the front door.
Hellen watched him from where she’d been doing the dishes. “Where are you going.” She was the kind of person that made everything sound like a command rather than a question.
The shadowy thing turned to stare him down as well. Sam felt sweaty, even though he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Like a teenager caught watching porn by his parents.
Sam shot her a quick smile he hoped was reassuring. He grabbed his backpack from the table as he walked past it, holding his gun, some snacks, and medical equipment. You never know.
“I promised someone to pick something up today, don’t wanna keep him waiting until tomorrow. Lyle, I told you about him?” Hellen hadn’t been part of the crew yet when he’d made that deal with Lyle. Shit, a loooooot had happened in the past week.
Hellen put down the plate she’d been drying. “You’re tired. You can’t fight like this.” It wasn’t an underestimation of his skill; she’d seen him fight before. Hellen could easily take him in a battle, no doubt about that. Sam had no delusions there.
“I promise, if I encounter anything dangerous I’ll run straight back home. It’s only just downstairs, what could possibly go wrong?”
“That’s a hnn dangerous thing to say,” Joel warned him from where he’d been drawing pictures together with the rat thing. “Isn’t that asking for something to h-happen?”
“Okay I take it back,” Sam laughed, opening the front door. “Nothing will go wrong, and if something does I’ll run straight back, promise. You kids get ready for bed!”
Hellen didn’t try to stop him again, but he did feel her eyes in the back of his head as he shut the door behind him. It was unnerving, that unblinking gaze. If they did make it out of this alive, she should consider a career change to play the villain in slasher movies. Good to have in a fight, at least. And that shadow… sure, it was friendly now, but there was still something uncanny about the way it slid soundlessly through the air and showed up where you least expected it. Was it once one person, or many? What would cause someone to warp like that, what had they been doing when the Visitor showed up?
Sam shook his head. No time to contemplate the origins of his new roommates. Focus . If he got himself killed after promising a quick and danger-free round-trip, he’d only look stupid.
Sam saw no more of the strange nightmarish creatures they’d encountered before. He didn’t know if they came out late at night or under different circumstances, but out of everything they’re the things he least wanted to run into. And the sounds they made… Enough to make his skin crawl.
Sam all but tripped down the stairs in his hurry to exit the empty stairwell. Pick up photograph at Lyle’s, shower, bed. Lyle’s, shower, bed. Lyle’s, shower, bed. Lyle’s, shower, bed.
Lyle…
Sam slowed down as he neared the second floor stairwell door.
This is the first time he’d be alone with Lyle since their initial meeting. The other times, he’d always had someone with him. Things had been so hectic that Sam hadn’t had the time to think about that first time again.
The time Lyle asked him for a kiss.
Sam swallowed, throat suddenly dry. He realized just how exhausted he was, almost swaying on his feet. He felt strangely vulnerable.
Sam came to a halt in front of apartment door number 21.
Okay, no worries. Just act natural. You’re here with a goal, and Lyle hasn’t mentioned that kiss again so things are cool between us.
He knocked, and immediately heard the telltale whirring of Lyle’s new body.
“Who’s there?”
Sam cleared his throat. “Hi, it’s uh, it’s me.”
“Oh! C-come in, come in! Door’s unlocked!”
Sam pushed open the door and once more stepped into Lyle’s darkened apartment. He blinked a few times to adjust to the dimmed lighting, then located Lyle further back. Lyle had that perpetual grin on his face, and was already shuffling towards him.
“Sam! You came! Yes, you’re here for the photo?”
Sam smiled, feeling some of the tension bleed from his body. He closed the door behind him and stepped forward. “Yeah, sorry for dropping in so late. Figured a promise is a promise, so…”
Lyle stopped in front of him, and once again Sam was taken aback by just how tall the other is. He sure didn’t act his size, with the stuttering and timidness. But uh, wow.
Lyle produced the picture from somewhere within his robes. Sam briefly wondered if he was wearing something under that, something that had pockets, before his mind stumbled over the possibility of him wearing nothing at all. Great job, brain. Making things awkward for me . You stop that right now.
Lyle extended his hand for Sam to take the picture. Sam was briefly distracted by the way his arm looked now, not fleshy but leathery, and sectioned from the wrist down. Like his arm was some sort of apparatus, like he could extend or retract it as one would a spyglass or other mechanical thing.
“Oh and, don’t look at it,” Lyle reminded him. “I was fine, I… looked at the thing before. There isn’t much else it could do to me!”
Sam softly thanked him and quickly put the photograph in his bag, facedown. He’d find an envelope or something to put it in once he got back to his room. No taking risks.
“So uh…”
Sam looked up to see Lyle blush. His smile had grown a little more shy, and his eyes were shifting from side to side.
Sam’s stomach did a somersault. His palm got sweaty. He was once again made aware of just how alone they were right now. No kids, no people looming over his shoulder, just him and the man (creature?) before him.
…Was this going where he thought it was going?
“How about, like…… Another kiss? P-please?”
Maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe his brain malfunctioned. But before he could stop himself, Sam rushed out an “OKAY!” Shit, that sounded eager. Wait, was he eager? To kiss Lyle?? Again??? Why?????????
“SCORE.”
Lyle had somehow puffed himself up in his excitement. It’s all Sam could come up with to describe him. Like he’d just grown taller, or has stood up. Did that mean he was crouching before? Or hunched over perhaps. Hunchback Lyle. Sam was tired and his stomach fluttered.
“Okay um, close your eyes again! P-please?”
Sam swallowed, and swallowed again. He squeezed his eyes shut, heart hammering in his chest as he waited for contact.
Why did he say yes again? He didn’t even care about kissing people.
But…
It’s nice, you know. To be desired . To know that someone wants this kind of intimacy, specifically from you. It made him feel special, and warm, and dammit- he’d just been living alone for too long, okay?! Stop judging. Sure, he had roommates now, but none of them wanted him. Sure they might need him, and that was nice and new and a little overwhelming too, but it wasn’t this .
It wasn’t feeling the breath of another on his face, hot and a little damp.
It wasn’t the warmth radiating off another body, threatening to envelop him.
It wasn’t someone tenderly pressing close, treating him like he was something precious.
It wasn’t the kiss itself he craved. It was this , and this and this.
The mechanical noises continued being a little weird, though. And the hot, bulbous surfacing pressing up against his mouth instead of lips. And the fact he heard a sigh from two different places…
Did Lyle have multiple mouths? And wait, coming back to his earlier intrusive thoughts, what was under those robes? And if he wasn’t using his mouth to kiss, then…? Good job brain, getting distracted while literally kissing someone.
He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. He’d promised, and he was a man of his word.
But it became increasingly difficult to stamp down the curiosity that was now gnawing at his insides. He wanted more. More than just something stolen in the dark. He wanted to know .
Surely a quick peek wouldn’t hurt, right? Maybe Lyle was just shy, and Sam could dissuade his fears by showing he was fine with what Lyle looked like. He’d been fine with Jeanne, and the shadow, and Joel, and the many, many rat-things.
He decided to chance it.
He couldn’t stop the scream that slipped out when he did.
“EAAARGH! NO!”
Sam reflexively stepped back as the creature before him recoiled.
Lyle wasn’t just bigger than he appeared at first glance. He was massive .
A large, bug-like body held up by far too many spindly mechanical legs. Two mouths indeed, the one on his torso large enough to swallow Sam whole. And camera lenses for eyes, so many of them, all staring back at him.
“Why did you look? I t-told you not to look!”
A new emotion overtaking the initial panic: instant regret. Lyle didn’t sound angry, rather utterly devastated. Shit. He didn’t mean to upset him. He didn’t mean for this to happen!
“I’m sorry!” But it was already too late.
“I trusted you!” Lyle yelled at him, and his voice sounded so pitiful it felt like being hit with a hammer in the chest.
He did this. Sam did, through his own decisions.
Lyle knocked him over in his rush to get to the dark room, scuttling through the room with spider-like ease. He slammed the door shut behind him.
Sam lay prone for just a moment, catching his breath. His heart was still beating too fast. Then he hurriedly pushed himself back up (balance briefly thrown off by the one arm-thing) and rushed over to the dark room. He tried the handle, but it felt like Lyle was bracing against the door from the other side.
“ Shit - Lyle I’m so sorry, please come back out I didn’t mean to scream, I-”
He tried pulling, but it was no use. The door didn’t budge, and he could hear small noises of distress coming from the other side.
He had betrayed Lyle’s trust, just to satisfy his own curiosity. He was despicable.
Sam felt tears well up in his eyes as he pressed his forehead against the door.
“Please don’t- come out, please, I didn’t mean it! You don’t scare me okay, I was just surprised I, I should have listened to you, I promised you and then I didn’t- that was a dick move, and you were right, and you have every right not to want to s-see me again, but please don’t…”
Don’t leave me here alone. Go ahead and punish me, but not like this.
But he wasn’t not alone, was he? He had a new family now, people who needed him and whom he could rely on.
Lyle was the one who was alone. Sam sure had never seen anyone else in here, save monsters too far gone to be still called people. Lyle never mentioned friends or family.
Lyle trusted him, and Sam took advantage of that. He ruined it, like he ruined his job, his social life, his physical health, everything. He was probably going to ruin being a stand-in father too, never mind that damned ritual those astronomers kept talking about. That was just what he did, mess things up.
This was what the cataclysm had done to him. It had turned him from a harmless loser into someone who lies and steals and kills just because someone looked at him wrong. He was horrible, and he didn’t deserve to be wanted. This was the consequence of his actions, and he was going to have to live with it.
“ Please ,” Sam whispered, properly sobbing now. “Please give me a chance to make it up to you. I-I can’t live with myself like this, I never meant to hurt you, and I’m so, so sorry , what I did was selfish , I know, please …” Great, now guilt-tripping. Add that to the pile of things to hate about himself.
His knees started wobbling and he slid to the floor, collapsing like a sack of potatoes. Good. That’s what he was. Might as well start acting like it. Guess he lived on the floor now.
Then, miraculously, the door slid open to a crack. Just wide enough for a small camera lens to peek through, thin enough not to let in any light.
“You promised not to look,” Lyle said sadly, but at least he didn’t sound so utterly betrayed anymore. He instead sounded like he’d been crying, but could he still cry with lenses for eyes?
“I know,” Sam wailed, “I’m a horrible person.”
“No you’re not, I know you aren’t, I’ve seen y-you…”
Lyle caught himself before he could continue, hesitating. Whatever he was going to say next, Sam couldn’t hear it over the sound of his own gross blubbering.
Lyle sighed. “P-please move over, I’m coming out.”
Sam’s eyes snapped open wide. He couldn’t believe it, didn’t dare to hope. But then again, maybe Lyle was just coming to bite his head off. Couldn’t do that from within the darkroom.
Sam scrambled to his feet as Lyle quickly exited his darkroom and closed the door behind him. He had his back turned to Sam. Sam didn’t get a chance to look before, but he could now see that there were dozens, possibly hundreds of developed pictures hanging from his back. He caught a glimpse of his own face before Lyle turned around and stepped closer.
Sam cowered, just a little. He couldn't help it; Lyle positively towered over him.
Sam blinked rapidly, cheeks still wet with tears. Lyle was staring at him with every camera, unblinking, chest heaving. Sam hiccuped once and tried not to flinch when Lyle aimed the big camera next to his head straight at Sam. Was that his main eye? Did he see from all of those? What would it do to a human brain, to get that much visual information at once? Was that perhaps why he was always covered up, to block out the stimuli? Was the shy-thing just an assumption on Sam’s part?
“Y-you’re staring,” Lyle squeaks, and both of them blush and look away. Lyle’s many feet skittered restlessly in place, as if they had a mind of their own. There was whirring and buzzing, like the constant re-adjusting and re-focusing of many small cameras.
Okay, guess he actually was shy then. So big and monstrous, yet so delicate. (Sensitive, like photo-paper.)
“Sorry,” Sam said quickly. “I-it’s not that I’m scared of you or anything, it’s just, well, uh…”
“I l-look like a freak,” Lyle finishes, and it sounded so pitiful that Sam nearly stumbled over himself in his rush to squash that thought.
“NO! I-I mean, sure you don’t look human anymore, but believe me, I’ve seen far worse out there-”
Lyle flinched, shit that sounded wrong he always said the wrong thing -
“NOT what I was trying to say, what I meant is you don’t scare me so if that’s what’s on your mind then… but even then I should’ve just listened to you, and I’m sorry! Like the only scary thing about you is your size oh God that came out wrong ignore that I just mean to say that despite the way you look the way you act is actually kinda cute NOPE ALSO NOT WHAT I MEANT TO SAY shut up shut up shut up shut up -”
Sam was properly rambling now. Lyle had fully squished his body into itself, blushing crimson. Sam knew he wasn’t faring any better, but he couldn’t keep his dumb mouth shut. His arm was wildly flailing about, as if that would make it any better. This was so embarrassing and stupid and aaaaargh.
“Y-you mean it?” Lyle squealed, and he sounded like he might die if Sam affirmed.
Sam was stuck on repeat. He might pass out at this rate, overheating and reduced to a stuttering mess. “I- I- I- I- I- s-s-s-s-s-sure I mean I-”
Lyle’s eyes were starry and glistened slightly, but Sam was too stuck in his own head to notice.
Lyle moved closer, and the recording of Sam’s brain stuttered to a halt, once again reminded of just how much bigger Lyle was than him. If Lyle wanted, he could squish Sam like a grape. He deserved it, Lyle should squish him. Knowing how despicable he was, he’d probably like getting squished too.
… Um, brain? What’s that all about? Getting some mixed signals here. Do I just blame it on me being delirious with anxiety or…
Instead of squishing him, Lyle reached past him and gingerly grabbed the discarded robes. Sam had the strangest urge to look away and give Lyle some privacy as he dressed himself. Wait, did that mean Lyle was naked right now. Wait, he totally was. So Sam had basically just been a peeping tom when he opened his eyes during their kiss. Even worse of him. Wait but why did Lyle have to take off his robes for a kiss, argh too many questions they were making his head spin nope nononono help help help-
In the time it took Sam to almost completely spiral, Lyle managed to once again pull the robes around him. He looked a bit more comfortable now that his more monstrous parts were properly covered, but his cheeks were still dark. Shit, Sam had totally invaded his privacy by staring at his naked body huh. But he- but Lyle- but they- but-
“So I’ve decided,” Lyle declared giddily, pulling Sam out of his own head. He shuffled a little closer, putting on a serious expression.
“I want to forgive you. Because I know you’re a good person . But.”
“Yeah?” Sam asked, a little breathless. Being called good made something purr like a cat deep within him. And Lyle was standing very close. Sam was acutely aware he must look like a mess, face tear-stained and body unshowered. He must reek of sweat and gore. Why Lyle even wanted to kiss something like that was a mystery to him.
Lyle smiled a little mischievously, whirring and clicking inside his body growing louder.
“But you did hurt me, s-so I decided on your punishment!”
Lyle leaned over him, robe hanging open so Sam could feel the breath coming from the maw on his stomach. He subconsciously licked his lips, heart galloping. He didn’t really know where to look, so he decided to focus on Lyle’s “human” face.
He had no idea how Lyle could go from hating him to wanting more of that . But if Lyle had decided that this was going to restore the trust between them, then who was Sam to say no?
Lyle’s voice wobbled with excitement. “I-I think we should kiss again to, you know, get used to each other! A-and so I know I can trust you not to run.”
“O-okay,” Sam said, and damn he sounded excited too.
Okay, so. Going from a near panic-attack to making out probably wasn’t the healthiest route to take. And they were definitely going to have to talk about this a lot more afterwards if they wanted to set some boundaries and maintain a healthy relationship based on open communication and oh, who was he kidding, Sam’s been so desperately lonely that he was just completely at Lyle’s mercy as he got easily pushed into the plush pillows of the couch and covered by warmth and safety and another’s desire.
It was the apocalypse, dammit. Who knew how many more chances they’d get to do something like this.
Sam got his confirmation when Lyle pressed that big camera up against him rather than one of his two mouths. Whatever Lyle was getting out of this, it must have been something , because he was being very enthusiastic and uh, vocal about it. Hands grabbed and gently held his body, and the robe partially obscured them from the dangers of the outside world. Sam would probably go back to feeling guilty later, once he was staring in the mirror above his sink.
For now, they both lost themselves a little, and it was good, and it was warm and safe, and they were together.
And they screamed in unison when Hellen kicked down the door because Sam took too long to get back home.
Whoops, another promise broken.