Chapter Text
Peter jolted awake in his chair, his alarm blaring the same old tune as it did every twenty four hours, five days a week, from across the room by his bedside.
Bleary eyed and sluggish, Peter dropped his head into his hands. This is going to be a long day.
Yesterday, or, well, technically today, his web shooters got jammed up all the way across New York. He had to parkour for miles across rooftops and dodgy alleyways until he made it home. When he did arrive, he stayed up the whole night working on the web shooters.
Well, he thought he stayed up. Apparently, at some point, he must have dozed off on his desk for under an hour, judging by how heavy his limbs and eyelids feel. Usually he’d require less sleep than the average person due to being bit by a radioactive spider and all that, but this time? This time he’s been up for forty hours working on this chemistry project he and Ned have completely forgotten about!
Okay, maybe that wasn’t quite what happened. Something about doing a Star Wars lego set in between daily classes and nightly crime fighting instead of working. Thus, of course they ended up cramming the final project and presentation.
Peter was supposed to crash asleep, as per Ned’s warning. What Ned doesn’t understand though, is Peter can’t afford sleeping when he knows that someone out there is currently being a victim of a crime, helpless, needing someone's help. Needing Spiderman’s help.
As the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman, Peter went out to patrol. And maybe, just maybe, his decision to watch over the streets wasn’t purely out of a need to help, but because once he returns, he was sure Aunt May would give him another lecture of wearing –
“Peter! Are you up? Breakfast’s ready! Come on!” and then the repetitive knocking came, an interruption to Peter’s thoughts. Which was for the best, really, no need to think about this right now. He took it off right when he returned, he felt proud about that. These days have been difficult for Peter. He knows he needs a longer break, but hey, he’s Spiderman. He’s got a healing factor too.
“I’m coming!”
—----------------------------
Peter’s footsteps blend in with the rest of the students. He makes his way to the Midtown high’s cafeteria, Ned’s already waving him over from the table. Beside him, MJ gives him a smile. Her eyebrows furrow with thought and oh no, please don’t notice…
“Hey guys!” I drop on the chair opposite them and take out lunch. The food they serve here isn’t enough to sustain his fast metabolism so he’s taken to packing extra protein from home. “We got any plans today?”
“Dude, there’s this awesome movie releasing today! I was telling MJ about the trailer I saw and dude…” Ned’s voice drifted away as Peter contemplated his thoughts, which, not a good idea, if you’re sleep deprived.
After the events of the summer with Mysterio, Peter’s foundation was shaken. His trust was betrayed, and a whole lot of new trauma got added to his bucket. One that he feels has been getting heavier, what with dying once - well, he technically blipped - and losing his mentor, Tony Stark. It’s a good thing he’s got Ned and MJ, sometimes he talks about things, especially superhero stuff and their consequences.
But there are other things he doesn’t talk much about. The first few months after Tony passed were some of the hardest. It was like a hole was ripped through him, hollow, alone, and lost. Through it all, the world was searching for the next Iron Man.
Then the whole Mysterio thing happened, Peter trusted the wrong guy, thought he was doing the right thing by Edith but, no. The summer was one big disaster.
Well, Aunt May would tell him to look on the bright side. He finally told Ned and MJ about who he truly is, and despite Peter’s anxieties, they embraced him. There weren’t any awkwardness or any further explanations. He was still Peter to them, always was, always will.
The best thing out of that summer though, was MJ. Despite his dual-identity, despite coming clean about being Spiderman and coming out as trans, MJ was still friends with Peter, and some more. They’re currently exploring their relationship slowly, taking their time, and Peter’s okay with that. In fact, it’s one of the few things that keep him grounded these days.
These days, he feels he isn’t doing enough. Both as Spiderman and Peter. It’s a thought, a feeling, that plagues his days. It’s part of why he went out last night, he has to do more, no matter the cost. So he pushed through his aching ribs from the tight binder, he swung and swung and swung, and fought and stopped and tied the bad guys. All night long till his web shooters jammed up, and then through his exhaustion he managed to get back home, parkouring.
His ribs currently ache, and -
“Earth to Peter?”
“Uh, yeah I’m here” How could he be so stupid? He literally saw her eye him before sitting and then he proceeded to zone out, and probably unconsciously rubbed his shoulder where the binder digs in. “Sorry, haven’t recharged yet, I guess, that Chemistry project ma -”
“This isn’t about the project, is it?” MJ presses. “Ned, did you send him to fight crime or to sleep last night?”
Ned looks at peter, his eyebrows riding high. “Dude! I told to sleep! You know that sleep is important for your body, Peter? For example…”
Peter does his best to focus on Ned’s voice again, but his thoughts are slipping again. He doesn’t really care at this point. And he knows the inevitable is coming. He knows she won’t bring it up now, but later, when they’re alone. She’ll be frustrated but worried about Peter’s health and Peter will tell her -
Ned’s snapping his fingers in front of Peter’s face. “Peter, did you hear any of that?”
Peter let out a sigh, and that’s the answer MJ was looking for.
“Alright I call it, Peter, you’re going home.” She declares.
“What! No, I can make it through classes at least.”
“That’s a terrible idea.”
“Exactly, Ned, you need to sleep, Peter.”
“Look, May doesn’t know I went out, and I don’t want to go back and have her lecture me about this!”
Ned and MJ exchange a look.
“There’s only one class left,” Ned says. He turns to Peter “You can sleep at the last desk, Mr Jameson doesn’t care.”
“And you are sleeping, Peter. Hell, maybe I’ll join.”
“Count me in too!”
That’s how Peter found himself with his head against his forearms, atop the last desk at the corner, with Ned and MJ on each side. He vaguely heard Mr Rodge comment, MJ responding something about him being sick but not wanting to miss out.
—------------------------------
“We definitely deserve that A+” Ned says,
“After that last minute stunt you two pulled? I’m surprised you got it” MJ nudged Peter.
Peter shot MJ a look, and then rubbed his bleary eyes. “We do, Ned, and I can’t believe it either, MJ.”
“Maybe next time, start a few days ahead?” she suggested as they left Midtown High.
“Probably a good idea,” Ned mused jokingly, “we’ll think about it. And oh hey, here’s my stop, I’ll see you two on the weekend?”
“Yup,” MJ replied while Peter first bumped Ned, and then Ned proceeded to walk down the opposite direction to his place.
“Let’s go to mine, I’m home alone today,” MJ said after a few minutes of silence.
“Listen, MJ,” Peter began but before he can get the next sentence out, she’s talking.
“No, Peter, we’re not having this conversation in the street, we’re going over to mine, we’re gonna get you some relief, you can take a nap and then we’ll talk., deal?”
Peter still hesitated, so MJ continued in a softer tone. “You don’t want Aunt May seeing you like this, do you? You can rest and have that healing factor patch re energize you. So, deal?”
“Deal,” Peter said reluctantly.
—------------------------------
This isn’t the first time MJ something like this happened. Nowadays, there’s a big oversized hoodie for Peter stashed in her closet. She gave it to him. And usually, Peter would wordlessly take it, go change, lie down and either sleep or watch something.
This time, Peter wasn’t feeling it. His dysphoria has been really high since the week began. Some days were fine and others were worse. Today it was worse, so he shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, MJ, but no, it’s been a bad week.”
“Peter, I understand, really, I do. But I can also practically hear your ribs scream, and I’m not the one with the super hearing.”
“You don’t! You don’t understand, MJ, you’ve no idea what it feels like to be….to have….to feel…” Peter flailed his arms helplessly, his eyes filled with sudden unshed tears.
“You’re right…” MJ began, “you’re right, Peter, I’m not sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that you need a break. I’ll crank up the AC, make it winter in here. You can wear several layers with your hoodie. Just…please, Peter. Please.”
He didn’t want to do this. And yet, he knew he should have. He could have left anytime while they were commuting to her, but he didn’t. Because if he did, he knew he’d not be strong enough to take it off on his own.
“Fine, make it snow here.” Peter replied. M looked like she wanted to say something, but she held back, so Peter took the clothes and went to change.
—------------------------------
“You might as well adopt a penguin in this weather, MJ,” Peter joked when he woke up from his nap. Which was…he checked his watch….six hours long?
“Relax, Peter, I texted May, told her we’re having a sleepover when I noticed you were out as a light.”
“Good thinking, thanks,” Peter sat up, leaned his back by the bedframe and winced slightly.
“You know you need regular breaks, even with your healing factor? How long did you leave it on?” MJ questioned.
Peter remained silent.
“Peter?” MJ’s voice held a frustrated edge to it.
“A long time, okay? It was a few days, since the chem project really,” he replied. “I know, it was wrong. But as I said, it was a shit week, MJ, please give me a break.”
Peter didn’t mean to be rude, he didn’t mean to slightly raise his voice.
“You can’t do that, Peter! And I know you went crime fighting in your binder afterwards!”
“What do you want me to do?! I’m tired of this too!”
“You have to look after yourself!”
“I am!”
“By wearing your binder for days and then swinging around with it?!”
Peter was by the window in second, his backpack slung over his shoulder. He doesn’t know how this escalated so fast. He didn’t want it to. He was just so tired.
He was so tired, and it wasn’t physical tiredness, even though that played a role.
He was tired emotionally. He managed to climb out the window before MJ caught his arm.
“Where are you going?” she asked, “You can’t hide from this!”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m going home,” Peter said as he climbed away.
He was so tired, he wanted to stop thinking. He didn’t head home, instead, he went somewhere else where he can be high up and listen to the city.
That’s when Peter heard her. A woman. No, a mother. Her voice was thick with emotion. “Please, have you seen my boy?”