Chapter Text
[Justabaguette created a group chat with SirWritesALot, Aaronburr1800, Natureandbooze, and Tailorwithhotpants]
Justabaguette: Bonjour, mes amis!
Natureandbooze: YO 🗣
Aaronburr1800: What is this? Why am I here?
SirWritesALot: It is a group chat, Burr.
SirWritesALot: Sir.
Natureandbooze: Oh hi, Sir.
Aaronburr1800: Not this again…
Tailorwithhotpants: Wassup, gang
Tailorwithhotpants: And Sir
Aaronburr1800: Call me Sir again and I’m leaving.
Justabaguette: NO! Aaron don’t leave!
Aaronburr1800: That’s better.
Tailorwithhotpants: Better listen to my hus, A Aron 🤬
Aaronburr1800: Your what?
Justabaguette: ?
Natureandbooze: Herc stop Alex doesn’t like slang
SirWritesALot: YOUR
SirWritesALot: FUCKING
SirWritesALot: WHAT?!
Natureandbooze: See
Tailorwithhotpants: Mb homie
Justabaguette: What does that mean
Justabaguette: ?
Tailorwithhotpants: Its short for husband
Justabaguette: Oh
Justabaguette: Haha
SirWritesALot: *It’s. Not “its”. “It’s” is a conjunction of “It is” or “It has”. “Its” is a possessive pronoun showing ownership. Used in a sentence: “It’s going to rain tomorrow.” “The spider traps its prey in its web.”
Aaronburr1800: Bro
Natureandbooze: Babe, we talked about this.
Justabaguette: Merci, Alexander. I was still stuck on that.
Tailorwithhotpants: All I did was forget the apostrophe not ask for a grammar lesson…
SirWritesALot: I do not care. Also there should be a comma after the word apostrophe.
Tailorwithhotpants: Bro
Natureandbooze: Alex just stop.
SirWritesALot: Fine.
SirWritesALot: Can I add Eliza?
Natureandbooze: YEAH CAN WE ADD BAE?!
SirWritesALot: I want to add my wifey.
Justabaguette: Ofc.
Natureandbooze: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 🗣
SirWritesALot: Let’s go! 😁
Natureandbooze: BAE IS JOINING!!!
Tailorwithhotpants: YEAH YOUR WIFE IS SO SIGMA [Tailorwithhotpants deleted a message]
Natureandbooze: Herc, please!
Tailorwithhotpants: Oh sorry
Tailorwithhotpants: Your wife is such a girlboss?
Natureandbooze: I think that’s fine
Aaronburr1800: Honestly?
Aaronburr1800: Eliza scares me.
Justabaguette: Pussy.
[SirWritesALot added Modestlygirlbossing to the group chat]
Natureandbooze: BETSEYYYY!!!!
Modestlygirlbossing: Hello, everyone!
Modestlygirlbossing: Yes, John. That’s me.
SirWritesALot: Burr, quit talking about my wife.
Justabaguette: Yeah Burr quit talking about his wife 😡
Justabaguette: SIR.
[Aaronburr1800 left the group chat]
Modestlygirlbossing: Oh
[Justabaguette added Aaronburr1800 to the group chat]
Justabaguette: Where the fuck do you think you’re going?
Aaronburr1800: I told you.
Justabaguette: You’re staying in the fucking group chat.
Aaronburr1800: But I want to leave.
Justabaguette: TOO. BAD.
[Aaronburr1800 left the group chat]
[Justabaguette added Aaronburr1800 to the group chat]
Justabaguette: AARON BURR JR.
Aaronburr1800: 😨
Tailorwithhotpants: Oh he went there.
SirWritesALot: Lafayette, are you good?
Justabaguette: Oui. I just like messing with Aaron
Natureandbooze: I’m cackling right now and it sounds hideous. Please stop.
Justabaguette: No.
Aaronburr1800: Pretty please?
Justabaguette: Absolutely not.
Modestlygirlbossing: John, your laugh sounds fine.
Natureandbooze: YOU CAN HEAR FROM DOWNSTAIRS?!
[Tailorwithhotpants changed the group name to “Sir is a prisoner <3”]
Modestlygirlbossing: Yes.
Natureandbooze: THE GROUP NAME I’M WHEEZING
Tailorwithhotpants: It’s so real
Justabaguette: I CHOCKED
Justabaguette: CHOKED SORRY
Tailorwithhotpants: You know what you should be choking on 😏
Justabaguette: What
Justabaguette: WAIT
Justabaguette: WOAH
Natureandbooze: Is that rizz?
Tailorwithhotpants: I thought Alex hated slang
Natureandbooze: .
Modestlygirlbossing: It is true. Alex does not like slang.
SirWritesALot: Well fuck you, John. I was going to write a long, descriptive, sweet message about how simply hearing your laugh brightens my day, but then you just HAD to say that. Wow. Incredible.
Aaronburr1800: Oh shit.
Tailorwithhotpants: Damn
Natureandbooze: Shit, bae, I’m sorry.
SirWritesALot: You should be.
Modestlygirlbossing: ALEXANDER, BE NICE TO JOHN.
SirWritesALot: Yes, dear Betesy.
Justabaguette: Yeah alex be nice 😡
SirWritesALot: Shut up, you iPad kid.
Aaronburr1800: You and that emoji...
Aaronburr1800: YOU DIDN’T.
Justabaguette: FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
Tailorwithhotpants: Oh he’s pissed
SirWritesALot: You can read English.
Justabaguette: ALEX, JE VAIS VIENDRIR CHEZ TOI ET JE VAIS PRENDRE TOUS TES STYLOS ET DÉPLACER TOUS TES MEUBLES EXACTEMENT DE 2,5 CM VERS LA GAUCHE. TU COMPRENDS ÇA ?!
Aaronburr1800: What?
Tailorwithhotpants: Oh he is PISSED.
Natureandbooze: Hold up lemme get out the Google Translate
Aaronburr1800: Yeah. Good idea. For once.
Natureandbooze: Fuck you mean “For once”???
Modestlygirlbossing: Are you calling John stupid, Aaron?
Aaronburr1800: NO, MA’AM. 😨
Modestlygirlbossing: That’s what I thought
Natureandbooze: Jeez, Laf. “ALEX, I'M GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR PENS AND MOVE ALL YOUR FURNITURE EXACTLY 1 INCH TO THE LEFT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!”??? That’s a bit much.
Justabaguette: HE CALLED ME AN IPAD KID
Natureandbooze: Fair enough.
Justabaguette: Is Alex typing the whole fucking declaration of indepence or something holy shit
Natureandbooze: Seems it .<.
Aaronburr1800: He hasn’t even been typing that long…
Modestlygirlbossing: It’s been long for Alex.
Justabaguette: Yeah Burr
Aaronburr1800: Don’t target me.
SirWritesALot: Si tu fais ça, mon cher Gilbert, alors je viendrai chez toi, je volerai tout ton pain, et ensuite je le BRÛLERai.
Justabaguette: VA TE FAIRE FOUTRE, J'ESPÈRE QUE TU TOMBERAS DANS LES ESCALIERS ET QUE TU TOUS LES DEUX POIGNETS !!!!
Natureandbooze: CHRIST YOU TWO
Natureandbooze: Herc come get yo man
Tailorwithhotpants: Babe, chill
Justabaguette: Fine.
Tailorwithhotpants: Thank you.
Modestlygirlbossing: You need to calm down too, Alexander.
SirWritesALot: Fine.
Modestlygirlbossing: Now hug it out and say you’re sorry.
SirWritesALot: I am not driving all the way to his house just to hug him and apologize.
Modestlygirlbossing: YES YOU ARE.
Tailorwithhotpants: He ain’t even at his house. He’s at mine.
Modestlygirlbossing: .
SirWritesALot: I am not driving all the way to Herc’s house just to hug Lafayette and apologize.
Modestlygirlbossing: ALEXANDER.
SirWritesALot: No.
Tailorwithhotpants: Fine I’ll just hug him
Natureandbooze: I wanna drive to Herc’s house to hug Lafayette
Natureandbooze: I’ll hug Herc too, damnit.
Natureandbooze: They give good hugs okay?
[Tailorwithhotpants sent an image]
Modestlygirlbossing: Aww
Natureandbooze: LET ME IN THERE
Aaronburr1800: I thought you were with Alex and Eliza?
Natureandbooze: Fuck off, Burr.
Tailorwithhotpants: Do they not hug you enough?
Natureandbooze: No.
SirWritesALot: LIES!
Tailorwithhotpants: It’s alright. We’ll adopt you.
Natureandbooze: No bc if Laf’s my dad that would make Alex my uncle
Tailorwithhotpants: OH SHIT-
[Justabaguette added Dadfriendgeorge to the group chat]
Justabaguette: Papa!!! 🥳🥳🥳
SirWritesALot: LAF!
SirWritesALot: NO!
SirWritesALot: WHY?!
Justabaguette: This is your fault.
Dadfriendgeorge: Hi.
Natureandbooze: HI DAD
Tailorwithhotpants: DADDD 🗣
Dadfriendgeorge: Hello, my sons-in-law.
Modestlygirlbossing: Welcome, George.
Aaronburr1800: Dad, remember me?
Dadfriendgeorge: Hello, Betsey.
Dadfriendgeorge: Shut up, Aaron.
Aaronburr1800: 🥲
Aaronburr1800: Okay. Ouch.
Justabaguette: HAHAHAHAHAHA IMAGINE
[SirWritesALot sent an image]
SirWritesALot: Referring to Burr.
Aaronburr1800: …
[Aaronburr1800 left the group chat]
Modestlygirlbossing: ALEXANDER!
SirWritesALot: What? It’s true.
[Justabaguette added Aaronburr1800 to the group chat]
Aaronburr1800: LEAVE ME ALONE.
Justabaguette: NO
Modestlygirlbossing: It’s alright, Aaron.
Modestlygirlbossing: I like you.
Aaronburr1800: Thank you.
SirWritesALot: Betsey, my dear, don’t lie.
Aaronburr1800: DUDE
Modestlygirlbossing: I’m not. I genuinely like Aaron and I think you guys are being too hard on him.
Aaronburr1800: THANK YOU!
Natureandbooze: Nah she’s just saying that because you’re in this group.
Modestlygirlbossing: JOHN!
[Aaronburr1800 changed the group name to “AARON ABUSE!”]
Dadfriendgeorge: What a fitting name.
Aaronburr1800: YEAH I KNOW.
Tailorwithhotpants: Chill, Aaron. We just playin.
Aaronnburr1800: Doesn’t make it okay.
[Natureandbooze changed the group name to “The Group Where We Abuse Sir”]
Aaronburr1800: Yeah. That name checks out.
Aaronburr1800: BUT MY NAME’S NOT SIR!