Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright where’d I put that juggling book?” Fizz wondered, looking around the living room.

He had gotten a book from a recent trip to the thrift shop but had misplaced it. They had cleaned up one weekend morning and it seemed like the book had gotten put away during the shuffle. Fizz felt around a high shelf and grabbed what he could. Turns out his book was up there but in his hurry, he also grabbed an old tape. It didn’t look like one of those cartoon compilations Blitzo would rent from the video store.

“Baby Commercial?” Fizz read, looking up as Cash came in from outside. “Hey sir what’s this?”

Cash plucked the tape from Fizz’s hand, looking at the label before grinning. “Fuckin’ ey I haven’t seen this in ages!” He chuckled before hollering up the stairs. “Hey Tilla! Kids! Get over here!”

Tilla came down the stairs with the twins coming in from the back door. “What is it honey?” She wondered, curious about the excitement in her husband’s voice.

“This look familiar?” He teased, holding the tape like a prize.

Tilla felt her face burn a darker red as a sheepish smile crossed her face. Blitzo and Barbie squinted at it before shrugging. It just looked like an old home movie. Fizz was completely in the dark; why was Mr. Buckzo excited while Miss Tilla looked so embarrassed?

“Oh I thought we lost that…” she giggled shyly.

“Nope! Fizzy here found it.” Cash told her before looking down at the kids. “How about you pipsqueaks? This ring any bells?”

“Uh…no?” Barbie replied.

“What’s on the tape?” Blitzo wondered.

Tilla looked at the eager grin on Cash’s face and the confused looks on the kids before letting out a sigh of defeat. She couldn’t hide it forever. “When Blitzo and Barbie were about a year old, we got them an audition for a diaper commercial since cute twins were a big draw.” She began.

“Aww!” Fizz cooed, giving the twins a teasing smile. “I bet you were SO cute!”

“We don’t remember that!” Blitzo gasped, feeling his face heat up from embarrassment.

“Please tell me our butts weren’t exposed!” Barbie begged, mortified at the very idea.

“Only one way to find out.” Cash told them, heading over to the VCR. He popped the tape in as the rest of the family sat on the couch. Tilla was looking nervously at the TV while Fizz had a wide grin, excited to see his friends looking goofy. Blitzo and Barbie cautiously watched, hoping they wouldn’t look like total idiots. Cash sat next to his wife, the remote in his hand. “Show time!”

The tape played and at first it seemed like a fairly standard commercial. Blitzo sitting on a cloud by a package of diapers, Barbie crawling towards him, and some voice over talking about how soft they were; fairly standard stuff. Fizz was almost disappointed not seeing anything too goofy. Blitzo and Barbie were relieved to see they were just in cute onesie pajamas for the ad. No naked butts being exposed for them. Tilla watched as calmly as the memories of that day washed over her. What should’ve just been a pretty calm shoot went to crap pretty quickly.

And all because one demon pushed their buttons too far.

“Pretty interesting, eh?” Cash grinned, pausing the tape.

“I’m just glad we didn’t have to do anything stupid.” Blitzo sighed in relief.

Barbie saw the nervous expression on her mom’s face, curiosity getting the better of her. “Mama? What’s wrong?” She wondered.

“Um…Cash, honey? Can you play the rest of the tape?” Tilla requested, embarrassment overtaking her.

“Ya sure?” He asked, worried for his wife’s reputation.

“Yeah…it’s better that they see first…” she replied.

Cash nodded in understanding before hitting play. It seemed the camera man—distracted from the first few takes, caught Blitzo crawling towards the snack table where a bunch of doughnuts were placed on a plate. Even as a little impling, he had a bit of a sweet tooth.

‘Hey someone grab that kid!’

‘Blitzo! Get back here!’

The family watched as Cash on the video was trying to catch his son. The camera then turned to see baby Barbie climbing up a ladder and onto the catwalk of the studio. Tilla was looking around to see where she was but her baby girl was nowhere to be found. Cash was trying to keep Blitzo from eating doughnuts but the box fell on him, covering him in various goops and sugars. It was a mess of shouting and chaos as Cash was trying to clean Blitzo off while Tilla was trying to go rescue her baby with one of the studio hands trying to help.

A blonde lady—somehow covered in jelly from a doughnut—eventually came into frame screaming at Tilla and Cash for their little monsters ruining her shoot. Cash was about ready to scream at her but Tilla got in her face for not caring their babies were in serious danger. The blonde didn’t seem to care as she was making snide remarks about the imp family. But one comment from Tilla caused the bimbo to snap and attack her.

The kids watched in shock as Tilla wrestled with the lady all over the set while Cash watched with a gleeful grin. He always said he loved his wife for being a badass. This was the exact moment that he thought about. No one messed with her babies or husband and got away with it.

“Mama! You got in a fight?!” Barbie gasped in surprise.

“Not my proudest moment but to be fair, she started it.” Tilla blushed, glaring at the blonde on the TV getting her hair pulled as she bit the imp mom’s arm. “She was not a very good director.”

“I’ve seen your mama get mad but seeing her take on that bimbo was a riot!” Cash snickered, looking at the intense look on his son’s face. “Boy? You okay?”

“Dad…who is that?” Blitzo asked.

“Katie Killjoy. News presenter for Channel 666 news.” Cash told him. “Her little crony Tom Trench was the assistant director for that too.”

Blitzo and Barbie watched the scene play out, a wave of memories washing over them. It was vague since they were really young but they remembered Katie’s snotty voice, the smell of makeup surrounding them, sticky doughnuts falling, and lots of yelling.

“I wanna hear about that day. Can you tell me? Pretty please?” Fizz begged.

Cash and Tilla looked at each other, figuring they were old enough to hear about it. “Well let me start off with this, Fizzy-boy. If the director shows up late, that’s a damned big red flag.” Cash told him.

{FLASHBACK}

{9 years ago}

“Do ya think the kiddos are gonna be camera shy?” Cash wondered.

“Oh I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m glad we’re allowed on set.” Tilla reassured him, looking down at the twins in the stroller. “I figured a diaper commercial would be easy enough for them.”

The new parents were soon greeted by a sinner male. He had blond hair and was wearing a gas mask. Cash was confused by his choice in fashion but Tilla gave him a friendly smile.

“Hi I’m Tilla Buckzo. This is my husband Cash. We spoke over the phone?” She introduced, offering her hand to the shorter sinner.

“Nice to meet you in person. I’m Tom Trench.” Tom told her politely, shaking both their hands. “Thanks for coming. It’s hard finding baby demons that look cute.”

“Well ya won’t find babies cuter than our little goofballs.” Cash grinned proudly.

Tom looked down at the twins, checking them over. “Oh they’re adorable! Very photogenic!” He gushed, crouching down to get a closer look at them.

Blitzo was looking around at the new place while Barbie was sucking on a pacifier. They didn’t know what was going on or why they were there. But it seemed like this new guy was happy to meet them.

“Where’s the director?” Tilla wondered. “Is she coming today?” Tom stood up, coughing awkwardly. “Ah she’s in a meeting right now but she should be on her—”

*WHAM*

“Way…” Tom sighed, standing up straight as he gave them almost warning pleading look. “Whatever she says, just go along with it. She’s…”

“A bitch?” Cash guessed, seeing a blonde sinner woman knock a doughnut out of an intern’s hand as she walked past them, barely noticing as she walked in the studio with her entourage. They were talking and laughing like they were the most important demons in Hell.

“So I said to that fucker if you can’t make a decent iced coffee, get the fuck off my set!” Katie cackled, her crew laughing along with her. “And then I booted his flat ass onto the street!”

“Uh Miss Killjoy?” Tom tried, slowly walking up to her.

“Ah hi there Tim.” Katie greeted dismissively as she snatched the script from his hands. “So where’s the talent?”

“Uh…hello?”

The blonde sinner turned to see a stiff Cash and politely smiling Tilla looking at her. She barely gave them a glance before staring down at the babies. “Ugh…well twins are better to work with than single brats. Get them into makeup and cover up those hideous marks on their faces.” She decided, heading over to talk with the camera man.

Tom apologized on her behalf, saying she was always like that before a big shoot. Cash and Tilla could hardly believe that since a director should show a little kindness to the actors. As much as they wanted to tell her where to stick it, they couldn’t. They did sign an agreement to put up with it so for now they had to put up with her huffy attitude.

But they’d be keeping a close eye on her.

{…}

“Wow she was a grouch even before getting on the news?” Fizz mused.

“Being fair at least a little, show business is pretty stressful.” Tilla replied.

“Still don’t excuse her bitchy attitude.” Cash chimed in, smirking to the kids. “ I wanted to take a jelly doughnut and squirt it right into her face.”

The kids giggled at the thought of squishy and sticky jelly covering her makeup covered face. Although, with how scary she looked normally, the jelly might be an improvement. But that didn’t explain the brawl later on in the tape.

“What was filming the commercial like?” Fizz wondered, looking at Blitzo. “You remember anything?”

“Well…I remember a floating doughnut…” Blitzo recalled, letting the memory wash over him.

{…}

“Alright let’s start with the boy.” Katie told the crew, prompting them to start rushing around.

Tilla placed Blitzo on the puffy mattress—shaped to look like a cloud—giving him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. “You’ve got this baby.” She smiled, stepping out of view.

“Alright kiddo. This is really simple.” Tom told him, getting on the puffy cloud with Blitzo. “Just crawl over to the package of diapers and look over there.”

Baby Blitzo blinked before flopping back on the cloud, wiggling his feet in the air. Tilla immediately helped prop him back up, looking warily at Miss Killjoy staring down at them. Blitzo was only a baby so he couldn’t really understand directions. Even Tom crawling on the set to show him what to do wasn’t really sinking in.

“Is this kid really up for this?” Katie questioned, her patience wearing thin.

“H-He’s just nervous.” Tilla explained, trying to think of a way to make this go smoothly. She saw Cash keeping Barbie entertained by the snack table, munching on a doughnut when an idea came to her. “If you have some fishing line, I do have one idea.” She smiled.

Soon enough, Blitzo was absolutely entranced by the chocolate doughnut floating above him. It was pretty funny to see how he was so excited about it. As long as the doughnut was out of the shot, Katie didn’t care as long as she got the right shot. Tom had the doughnut on the end of a fishing pole and was gently calling Blitzo over with it, moving backwards to get him to move.

It took a little time but Blitzo slowly crawled towards the sugary treat, utterly focused on the doughnut.

“That’s it kid. Almost got it.” Tom whispered, moving around the fluffy mattress so Blitzo could look at the camera.

He was trying to reach for the doughnut but it was too high. For the little guy, not getting a treat that was being teased in front of him, he was starting to get upset. His blank face was morphing into a look of frustration for a little baby. Tom and Katie were confused—the latter being more annoyed—but Tilla had an alarmed look on her face.

“Uh you might want to give him that soon…” she warned.

“Hey we have to get some B-roll footage so shut it.” Katie retorted, waving a hand at her camera man. “Alright now zoom in on his pouty face and--.”

“WAAAAHHHH!” Baby Blitzo wailed, causing everyone in the studio to stop what they were doing.

Tilla immediately rushed to her boy’s side, comforting him as she gave Katie and Tom a stern glare. “I warned you.” She frowned, cooing at Blitzo to try and calm him down. “There there sweetie it’s okay…”

Katie facepalmed, irritated at the screeching of the little imp brat. This was going to set back their film schedule for the day. Tom, feeling slightly more sympathetic to the little guy, unhooked the doughnut and gave it to Tilla.

“Here this should help.” He offered.

“Thank you.” She smiled, taking a small piece off and feeding it to her boy. “There we go. All better.”

Blitzo chewed the sweet treat for a bit, his bad mood disappearing. He gurgled and giggled before hugging onto his mama.

“Ugh! Get him away from the set!” Katie ordered, turning towards Cash. “Hey big horns! Get the other one ready! We’re on a time crunch here!”

“Yeah yeah…” Cash grumbled, looking down at Barbie. “Promise ya won’t take shit from any demons like her, okay?”

“Bah!”

[To Be Continued]

Chapter Text

“I was screaming over a doughnut?” Blitzo groaned, pouting when his dad mussed up his spines.

“Hey those were some damned good doughnuts.” Cash joked, grinning mischievously. “If I was a little baby and they were teasing me with a doughnut, I’d probably bite ‘em if they didn’t hand it over.”

“I hope I wasn’t screaming my head off…” Barbie commented.

“No but you definitely surprised the crew on that shoot.” Tilla giggled.

{…}

“Little guy okay?” Cash asked, taking Blitzo from Tilla as she switched him with Barbie.

“I think he was just a little frustrated…” she sighed, kissing her little boy’s head. “Sorry baby. I thought the doughnut lure would be a good idea.”

“Hey it was, babe.” Cash assured her, taking her hand and kissing it. “They’re the bozos that took too damned long.”

Tilla looked down at Barbie who was looking around at everything. “Okay Barbie. You wanna give this a try?” She asked, gaining her daughter’s attention.

Barbie blinked before patting her mama’s face with a smile. She had no idea what was going on but it seemed like an adventure. And even as a baby she was all for that.

Cash looked over at Katie—seeing her muttering something about ‘stupid kids’—before looking down at Blitzo. “Don’t let that bimbo get to you. Cocky demons like that always look like morons.” He told him.

Blitzo blinked before turning his head to Katie Killjoy. She was ranting to some poor schmuck on one of those large brick-like phones. He scrunched up his face before sticking his tongue out at her, making Cash laugh.

“My thoughts exactly, kiddo.” He snickered.

Meanwhile, Tilla was holding Barbie as Tom was giving her the same instructions as he did Blitzo. Crawl towards the pack of diapers and look at the camera. Easy as pie.

But Barbie had other plans.

On some takes she’d crawl too far and plop onto the ground. Other takes she would face the wrong way when she reached the diaper pack. Sometimes she would just crawl off the fluffy platform and play around with the other props on the set. It was like chasing a little toy car with how fast she would shuffle. Tilla had to pry her off a fluffy cloud and shield her from the angry glare of Katie. She didn’t want her baby girl to be yelled at by a stranger.

“Let’s give it one more shot and then we can take a break, okay?” Tilla told her gently, figuring she was probably just fussy. She placed her down on the cloud right when she heard a splat and cursing from her husband.

“Aw shit!”

Tilla and the rest of the crew turned, seeing Blitzo happily sitting in a box of doughnuts laughing his head off as Cash was trying to wipe off jelly from his face. “Oh dear…can you please watch Barbie for a minute? I wanna make sure they’re okay.”

Tom was given Barbie to hold while Tilla went to check on her boys. “Wait! What do I do with her?” Tom called, frowning as Barbie started patting his masked face.

“Oh let’s just get some filming done with the little brat and get this over with.” Katie told him dismissively. “She looks like she has brains in that huge head of hers.”

Tom let out a sigh as he placed Barbie down on the cloud. “Okay…let’s just try this again. Just crawl to the diapers and look at the camera.”

Meanwhile, Tilla was helping wipe jelly off her husband’s face and powdered sugar off her son. “You two are definitely going to be getting a bath tonight.” Tilla decided.

Cash’s tongue briefly licked some jelly off the corner of his mouth, cringing a bit. “Blech…fucking cranberries are too damned sour…”

Tilla took a little bit for herself and frowned. “I don’t think cranberry makes for a good jelly filling…” she mused. “What happened?”

“The little goober flipped out of my arms and onto the snack table.” Cash explained. “I tried to get him out of the box but when he put his hand down, jelly to the face.”

“Well as long as neither of you were hurt.” Tilla reasoned, gently touching both their faces. “Sticky messes I can handle. You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah I’ll be alright.” Cash promised, seeing the commotion from the set. “You might wanna get back over there—”

“HEY! Don’t chew on the camera!”

Tilla and Cash’s eyes widened as they heard panic from the crew, fury from Katie, and giggling from Barbie. Whatever was going on couldn’t be good. The taller imp gave her husband an apologetic look before rushing to check on her daughter.

Hopefully she didn’t hurt herself or a crew member.

{…}

“Eew…who uses cranberries for a jelly filling?” Fizz frowned, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“Cranberries are not that bad when prepared right. They’re pretty sour but if you season them well, they can be good.” Tilla explained.

“Still don’t know why the hell anyone would put that crap in a doughnut. It’s too sour.” Cash gagged.

“Why was I chewing on a camera?” Barbie wondered, embarrassed she didn’t remember even doing that.

Tilla placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a sympathetic smile. “You definitely liked to bite a bit as a little one. Something just made it feel better when your fangs were starting to grow in.” She explained, patting her back when her daughter let out a groan.

“We got some pretty damned sturdy toys for ya when you were going through that phase.” Cash chimed in, poking her cheek. “You were a real spitfire even as a little goober.”

“Is that what made that Katie lady mad?” Blitzo guessed.

“No…but what she did when I tried to stop her made me want to fight her…” Tilla frowned.

{…}

Tilla rushed over and was surprised to see her daughter clinging onto the front of the camera. She was giggling like crazy as she was chewing and licking the lens. According to Tom, they had gotten the perfect shot of Barbie crawling to the pack of diapers and turning to the camera. The shorter sinner was relieved and even Katie was satisfied with the shot.

Unfortunately, before they could reset the shot for a few extra takes, Barbie caught sight of the shiny camera lens and quickly shuffled her way towards it.

She had managed to pull herself up by reaching for the camera. Soon enough she was gnawing on it, leaving little marks and baby drool all over. The crew tried to pull her off but babies had surprisingly strong grips. Then they tried shaking her off but the camera moving up and down was like being on a teeter-totter for Barbie. She was laughing herself silly in the moment but Tilla was worried she’d lose her grip or throw up.

“Hang on I’ll get her down—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Katie groaned, stomping over to the camera. “It’s a damned baby! Just force her off!”

Without warning and before anyone could stop her, Katie pushed the camera’s steering controls down, forcing the other side up. Unfortunately, the force of the push launched Barbie high into the air. Barbie was laughing like she was on a fun ride but Tilla, Cash, and even Tom were screaming in horror.

“MY BABY!” Tilla and Cash cried.

“Get a sheet to catch her!” Tom called to the frantic crew mates. They couldn't let a baby DIE on their watch! Cash and Tilla would no doubt kill them and they'd be sued into oblivion! And there were plenty of lawyers in Hell they could call that would gladly take their case!

Thankfully, Barbie was caught on a hook by the back of her onesie. She was blissfully unaware of the danger she was in, giggling and clapping her hands. Cash nearly fainted from the emotional roller coaster and Tilla fell to her knees in utter relief.

“Thank Lucifer she’s okay…” she sighed, catching her breath.

“Get that brat down!” Katie ordered, rubbing her temples as she saw the little twerp swinging around. She was pacing around in frustration, making her way towards the snack table unknowingly. “I swear these fucking brats are gonna—”

*SPLAT*

Katie blinked, feeling a very sticky jelly dripping down her face. She turned and saw a very angry Blitzo with his fist on what was once a filled strawberry jelly doughnut. “You’re paying for my dry cleaning!” She growled.

“Pbbth!” Blitzo retorted, sticking his tongue out at the mean lady.

[To Be Continued]

Chapter Text

“How do I not remember that?!” Barbie questioned. “Was my brain that full of mush?!”

Cash laughed as he rubbed his daughter’s head. “Ya might not remember but when ya started talkin’, you told us about dreams of flying!” He told her with a grin. “Guess ya had the acrobat bug even back then.

Barbie swatted his hand away before looking at her mom. Tilla was smiling but she was shaking slightly as well. “Mama? Are you okay?” She asked softly, taking her hand.

“Oh…I’m okay sweetheart.” Tilla promised, scooping her daughter onto her lap and holding her close. “I was just so scared when you were launched like that…”

Barbie immediately hugged her, not liking when she got upset. “I’m sorry mama…I didn’t mean to scare you…” she told her.

“Hey that wasn’t your fault, kiddo.” The ringmaster assured her, placing a hand on her head. “That Katie bimbo was the one that put ya in danger. If we didn’t need to get ya down, I would’ve ripped her a new one!”

“How did you get Barbie down?” Fizz wondered. “Did you need to call the fire department?”

“Oh we got her down ourselves.” Cash told him before giving his wife a knowing smile. “Well, she got Barbie down while I kept an eye on Blitzo.”

“How come?” Blitzo questioned. “Was Katie that mad I got jelly on her?”

“Well…I figured it’d be better to keep you far away from her.” Cash reasoned, leaning in close. “Truth be told, she creeped ME out…”

“I had to use what I’ve learned as a performer over the years to rescue her. And they might not have been silks but I managed.” Tilla told them all, looking at the TV. “I think the camera caught a little bit of how I rescued Barbie…”

{…}

Seeing her baby dangling up high, Tilla immediately grabbed a nearby ladder. Tom followed her to make sure she was safe—not wanting a lawsuit. “Hang on, baby! I’m coming!” Tilla called, turning to Tom with a serious look. “Hold this and don’t let go.”

“Y-Yes ma’am.” He nodded.

“Hey I’m the only ma’am around here, buddy!” Katie chimed in.

Tilla rolled her eyes, focusing on getting to the top of the cat walk. She was very agile so she wasn’t worried about that. All she was worried about was reaching her little girl and making sure she wasn’t scared. As long as Barbie had no idea she was in danger, she was golden.

“Okay Barbie? Sweetheart?” Tilla tried, grabbing a cable and holding on tightly. “I’m coming to get you!”

Barbie, seeing her mama, smiled widely as she tried to swing herself over to her. It wasn’t much but she could figure out that if she swung her arms, she could move a bit.

“No sweetie! Stay still!” Tilla begged, steeling herself before swinging over. She had to catch her baby before she fell! Try as she might though, they just missed each other. The older imp woman cursed but collected herself; she couldn’t let herself get distracted. “Focus Tilla…” she told herself quietly.

Cash was running around with Blitzo in his arms, yelling for everyone to make the ground as soft as possible. Curtains, mattresses, costumes, packs of diapers torn open—anything to make the ground safe enough for Tilla and Barbie. He didn’t care if they didn’t get involved with TV again; his wife and kids were way more important!

And TV was overrated anyway.

Tilla was so grateful her husband was doing what he could from the ground. Now she just needed to get Barbie. Swinging at this point didn’t seem to be a good solution but maybe she could use her other circus skills to get Barbie into her arms.

Quickly, Tilla climbed onto the top of the scaffolding and crawled over to Barbie. There was another piece of wire hanging down that she could use to grab her. She hooked a spare wire that was connected to something—obviously making sure that it was stable—before shimmying down to her level.

“Hi baby.” Tilla smiled, unhooking Barbie before holding her close. “I’ve got you, sweetie.”

Barbie clung onto her like a little baby koala, nuzzling against her chest.

Tilla let out a huge sigh of relief, giving a nod to the crew down below who cheered for the successful rescue. Even with how scared she was, the taller imp woman couldn’t help but giggle at her husband jumping up and down. He was yelling how proud he was of her and directing Tom to bring over a rolling ladder for them.

“Ready to get down honey?” Tilla asked, looking down at Barbie.

“Bah—oh…” Barbie’s smiling face quickly turned green from all the swinging and jostling around catching up to her.

“Uh-oh.”

“BLAARGH!”

{…}

Barbie face palmed in utter embarrassment as Fizz and Blitzo were trying not to laugh. “I threw up?!” She questioned incredulously.

“Hey you were launched and swinging around like a rag-doll.” Cash reasoned. “I’m damned surprised it took ya that long to puke.”

“I didn’t throw up…on anyone, did I?” Barbie frowned.

“Well you missed the crew down below…but when Katie was stomping around asking if we finally caught you, she stepped in it.” Tilla explained as delicately as she could.

“Gross!” The boys gagged.

“Hey those shoes looked like cheap knockoffs even if she was screaming about them being from the Vees fashion brand.” Cash shrugged.

“How could you tell?” Fizz wondered.

“Ya know their brand having three V’s all stylized and shit?” Cash explained, quickly drawing it from memory on a scrap piece of paper. At their nod he continued. “Well the knockoffs have that brand made with thicker lines. Those were just regular shoes with the logo ironed on.”

“Wow so she’s mean and stupid?” Barbie smirked.

“Bingo.” Cash winked.

{…}

The second Tilla had finished climbing down the ladder with Barbie, Cash immediately ran up to them with the stroller and hugged them both. Blitzo even hugged his sister’s face even though he had no idea what was going on. He was just glad his sister and mommy were back down.

“Tilla you were a fucking badass grabbing Barbie like that!” Cash told her proudly.

“I guess my mama instincts really kicked in.” She smiled sheepishly, helping her husband buckle them into the stroller. “Let’s get them home. I should find that assistant director and apologize—”

“YOU!”

The imp couple winced as they heard the shrill voice of Katie Killjoy in the distance. They gulped as the tall sinner woman stormed over to them—jelly on her face and baby barf on her shoes—Tom timidly walking behind her as he was motioning for them to run for their lives. But it was too late; they were in her sights and she was out for blood.

“Get off my fucking set!” She shrieked. “Do you little mongrels know what you’ve done?!”

“Hey lady it was an accident!” Cash tried, sputtering when cold coffee was splashed in his face.

“I have been in show business my whole life and afterlife and no one has ever pissed me off like your ugly little brats and stupid husband!” She ranted, pointing a finger accusingly at the very scared twins. “Your little monsters will never work in this town again!”

Cash was about ready to give her a piece of his mind but Tilla stepped forward, her patience finally at an end.

“Excuse me…what did you say about my babies?” She questioned, her voice dark and low.

“You heard me. Your ugly little brats will never—EEK!” Katie gasped, feeling a sharp poke to her chest.

“Don’t you DARE say that bullshit about my babies! They could have died because of you and your crew’s lack of care! Does this commercial really matter that much than the lives of babies?! For Lucifer’s sake, no wonder you were desperate to hire us! Who would want to work for you?!” Tilla scolded harshly, fangs bared as she glared at her.

Katie was shocked but didn’t want to back down; no way was an imp going to talk back to her! “Honey I’ve been in the business for fucking ever! I could break you like a twig!” She hissed.

Tilla glanced down before giving her a smirk. “Your threats are like your boobs; fake!”

If a pin could have dropped, it would’ve sounded like an iron pipe clanging on the ground. Tom’s eyes were bugged out beneath his mask; did she really just say that?! The crew immediately went to hide behind anything that was sturdy, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. Cash was stunned that his wife could actually sass someone out like that. And in a damned funny way too.

Katie’s eyes widened in disbelief. Did that stupid giraffe say her boobs were fake?! Growling, the angry sinner grabbed Tilla’s wrist as she narrowed her eyes. “They’re not fucking FAKE!” She screamed, tossing the imp woman over her shoulder.

Tilla, quickly catching herself, grabbed a nearby cable and swung herself over to the pillowy display. “Nice trick, Killjoy but you don’t mess with a circus performer! Though you do look like a clown!”

The bitchy director let out a snarl before charging at Tilla, tackling her into the diaper display. The diapers exploded into a flurry of cotton as the two demon women began fighting with each other. Clawing and punching sounds filled the air as Tilla and Katie brawled with each other. Cash stood in front of the babies to protect them from seeing their mama in a fight but even he couldn’t look away. It was terrifying yet…intriguing.

“Is it weird I kinda find this hot?” Cash whispered to an equally terrified Tom Trench.

“You’re not the only one…” Tom muttered back, gesturing to the camera still recording the brawl.

Tilla was in full feral mode so going in right now would be a very stupid idea. But Katie was admittedly holding up pretty well during the fight. Tilla had good agility but Katie’s raw power as a sinner was a good asset. The taller imp woman was yanking on the spider-like sinner’s bleach blonde hair as she was biting down on Tilla’s arm. Thankfully she wasn’t a poisonous spider demon but those teeth would leave a mark.

Cash and Tom waited for them to separate for a moment before pulling them away. Tilla cared more about getting her babies to safety so she calmed down from feral mode. But if that bimbo ever hurt her babies or husband again, she would make her pay.

Katie, meanwhile, was screeching at being separated. “No! I was winning! Let me at her!” She ordered, trying to get past Tom.

“It’s over! Let’s just take a look at the footage we got and be done with it!” Tom begged. He waited for her to stop scrambling before letting out a sigh. “You know…maybe commercial work isn’t the best idea for someone with your…talents.”

The blonde stopped breathing heavily before a realization hit her. “You know what Tom…for once you’re right…” she replied, standing up straight as she cleaned herself off. “I don’t need shitty gigs like this.”

"There ya go.” He nodded, flinching as she had an almost manic smile on her face.

“Directing is for chumps! I can become famous by being on camera!” She ranted. “There’s an audition for the anchors of Channel 666 news, right? We’re going to nail it and take Pride by storm!”

Cash and Tilla immediately ran away from the set as Katie was laughing like a crazy person. If that poor Tom guy was being roped into her schemes, they almost felt pity for him. But one thing was for sure; their days working for TV were definitely done.

Well, working for a crazy person anyway.

{…}

“Mom you were so cool!” Blitzo gushed, giggling at her embarrassed face.

“I try not to go feral if I can help it…but if anyone messes with the people I love, I’ll defend them.” Tilla explained, scratching the back of her head.

“And you were awesome, babe.” Cash grinned, giving her a smooch.

“Ya know…maybe it’s good we didn’t remember that.” Barbie decided. “Way too embarrassing and scary…”

“At least we have the tape.” Fizz smiled, looking up at his boss. “How’d you get it anyway?”

“Oh that Tom guy came over a few weeks later to give it to us.” Cash explained. “We did finish the commercial and they got it to air so they couldn’t get us in trouble. This was just for posterity later in case that bitch wanted to sue. Fortunately for us, she got too busy working for that shitty news station.”

“I hope you three never have to deal with her. She’s…unpleasant.” Tilla told them, restraining herself on what she really thought of that terrible woman.

Cash took the tape out of the player before looking at his family. “Wanna go get some doughnuts?”

“Yeah!” The kids cheered, scrambling outside and talking about what flavors they wanted to get.

Tilla chuckled as she stood up, wrapping her arms around her husband. “So…you found my fight with her hot, huh?” She smirked.

“Well, it was more you kicking her ass being hot than just women fighting in general.” He grinned sheepishly.

“Is that why when we put the twins down for a nap we had our own fun?” She cooed, kissing his nose.

“You scare me in all the right ways.” He told her.

[END]