Work Text:
Two friends could be seen sitting on top of a hill. Germany watched as the wind swept through Italy’s hair; his curl bouncing. He watched as he widened his smile when a cat curled up beside him. He always, somehow, seemed to look at Italy. Even if it was small glances. He noticed trivial things like the way he played with his hair when he was conjuring up a thought and the way he tucked his hair behind his ears when he bent over to pick something up. This was the very moment Germany first felt discomfort in his chest.
…
After a few days, he felt the sensation once again.
“Germany! Germany! I made you lunch!” The Italian bounced through the door into his office. “Oh, Italy. Guten tag, und what did you make?” The blond set aside his papers to the far corner of his desk. “I wanted to try something new, so I made something from one your cookbooks! I think it was called.. Spätzle?” Italy’s puzzled expression at trying to pronounce it made him smirk. He really made pasta again, huh. Meine Güte. “Let me finish one more paper, then I’ll go eat in the kitchen with you. Das sound good?” After one enthusiastic nod from the brunette, he was gone. Leaving Germany alone in his thoughts.
He felt his lungs tighten, then he couldn’t breathe in. He hacked and coughed, but it wouldn’t come out. It burned when he finally expelled it from his throat. He spat it out; It was a pure white petal.
It felt as if time had stopped. The petal in his palm just sat there unwavering. He couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t slept enough the night before or if Italy was rubbing off on him a little too much. Maybe, just maybe, work could wait a few hours. I might be able to ask Italy about what happened, but what if he judges me and calls me crazy? Germany shook his head to get rid of those awful thoughts. Italy would never judge me for something like this. He’s not like that. The petal, now in a tight grasp, lay in pieces. Tears formed in his eyes that dared to fall, but never did. He decided to eat with Italy first, then he’d ask about the flower situation.
…
The moment after they were done eating is when he brought the question up. “Have you ever heard of anyone coughing up flowers before?” Italy thought for a minute, playing with a strand of his hair as he did, “Uhh.. Oh! I remember now!” Germany focused his attention on what the other man was about to say. “Japan told me a story about a lady that coughed up flowers due to unrequited love! Although it had a sad ending, I thought it was super duper interesting!” In blue eyes flickered a sign of fear, but it was soon replaced with the serious expression he usually wore. “Could you tell me the story?” Italy looked like he was about to burst open from excitement. Germany glanced at the other’s ahoge. It bounced as he quickly scooped up the dirty plates, setting them in the sink. The water was hot on his skin, and he was humming a tune Germany didn’t recognize. Though, after a few short minutes, Italy finished up.
“Germany! It’s story time!” A chair screeched against the floor as Italy pulled it closer to Germany’s. The proximity made Germany want to rip his lungs out. He could smell the garlic that never seemed to leave his clothing. He could smell the dish soup that he had just used. He could see every single detail in his face. He could also feel the way the other’s eyes looked at him with pure joy. He felt something bloom in his chest. It was time for him to find out what was wrong with him.
“A long time ago, there was a Princess that was adored by all! She had long black hair that would glisten in the sunlight! One day, the King and Queen hired a bodyguard for their daughter. The bodyguard also had black hair, but his was short and messy. The Princess, after about a year of knowing the man, fell deeply in love with him. She knew he didn’t feel same love for her as she did for him, so flowers began to take root in her lungs. Each interaction between the two made it worse. She coughed up the petals that bloomed from her unrequited love. Their close proximity caused the once small petals to turn into beautiful but bloodied flowers. She eventually couldn’t go without coughing longer than minute. Vines overtook her lungs, killing her without being able to say goodbye to her dearest. The bodyguard never got to say goodbye either. Both separated forever.”
Germany was panicking behind his normally calm demeanor. He couldn’t let Italy see that he was nervous. “What’s the name of the.. condition?” He asked while trying to maintain eye contact. “Credo si chiamasse.. Oh! I remember now!” In the German’s eyes flashed a sign of doubt, but nonetheless he continued listening. “Japan called it Hanahaki Disease. I’m pretty sure it originated from Japan’s place. He also said that countries like us can’t get it, so we’re safe!” He leaped up from his seat when he uttered the last word. “What if,” the blond interjected, “a country did become ailed with it? What would happen to them?” Italy shrugged his shoulders and wandered off blabbering about pretty women. Leaving the German to his thoughts. Unrequited love.. That means Italy definitely doesn’t like me back. He also never mentioned a cure, but if I were to theorize, I’d say that the only cure would be requited love. I’ll ask Japan about it next time I see him.
…
The next time he felt the sensation was when Italy snuck into his bed.
He could hear the sheets rustle beside him, then the feeling of someone slipping inside the covers. “Mm.. Italy… what are you doing in my bed?” The brunette moved closer to him. “I couldn’t sleep..” Italy was so close to Germany that he could feel the naked form beside him. “Why don’t you have a shirt on? Or any pants for that matter..” “I didn’t feel like wearing any.. I’m sleepy.. buona notte..” He suddenly felt a tickle in his lungs and then he felt his heart start racing. Italy can’t find out about this. I don’t- No, I can’t let him worry. He slowly stepped out of bed and stumbled over to his bathroom. Trying not to cough before he shut the door. He closed the door and flicked on the light. Then, finally let out the cough he had been holding in. It was more of a heave than anything. He tried to inhale, but it was a futile attempt. He felt his heart start to race again. He gagged; almost throwing up. His vision blurred by tears.
In the sink were two white petals splattered with blood.
Oh Gott.. It’s getting worse… What am I going to do? It hasn’t even been a full day since I learned about my condition and it’s already progressing. His hands were shaking as he ran them though his hair. He couldn’t think properly. Then he heard a knock on the bathroom door. His eyes darted to the sound. It was Italy. “Germany?” The doorknob slowly twisted then the door swung open. He had forgotten to lock it. Scheiße, Italy must’ve heard me coughing.. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” The slightly shorter man rubbed his tired eyes. “I was,” he yawned, “worried about you. You don’t normally cough like that.” He started on his journey to hug the other, but something in the sink drew his attention away.
“Oh.”
“So that’s why you asked that during lunch.. Who? Who is it..?” Germany didn’t answer. “Which girl piqued your fancy?” The taller man stared at the innocent petals; not once daring to glance at the man beside him. “Is it another country?” He hesitated a bit before answering, “I will not be answering questions about my love life… Let’s head back to bed..” He snatched both petals from the sink and tossed them into the trash bin. “Germany, we will discuss this in the morning.” He walked back over to his side of the bed and tossed the sheets over him. Leaving the blond alone with his thoughts once again. He eventually treaded the path to his bed, sitting under the covers. Waiting for the other to fall asleep. Before he could realize, he felt his eyes grow heavy and his body relax. He had a lot to explain in the morning. He just hoped he could keep who he loved a secret for a tad bit longer.
…
Morning light glistened through the curtains and lit up the entire room. Germany was the first to wake, like usual. He opened his eyes and glanced over at the brunette. He had his back towards him. Today was the day he would have to lie to his dear Italy. He would have to hide the truth. He felt a sharp pain in his chest. It felt like someone had stabbed him with a kitchen knife. Why can’t I just have one moment where I’m not reminded of my impending doom. Those last words made something click inside him. I’m going to die. I’ll die without a final goodbye to Italy. He studied the shorter man’s back. Looking for nothing in particular. He wished that maybe they could’ve met under different circumstances. Maybe if they weren’t countries, then they could have had a life together. If he were a woman.. Then he would have a chance. Italy’s boss wouldn’t like someone like him. Even if Italy returned his feelings, they wouldn’t be able to wed. Same sex marriage isn’t even legal in Italy.. Would Italy see him differently if he found out he likes men? Would he feel uncomfortable doing his stupid Italian greeting? He would probably start to distance himself from Germany. The sharp pain hit him for the second time. This time he couldn’t just ignore it.
He slipped out from under the covers and made his way to the kitchen. Once he got there, he opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed pain killers. He read the instructions on the bottle and took two pills with a swig of water. They should work soon. “Germany.” Italy was in the doorway, wearing his normal uniform. “You sure dressed fast.” Just looking at the other made the heaviness in his chest force its way back into his mind. He cleared his throat and looked away.
Italy took a seat and gestured for Germany to sit in the one in front of him. He took his seat without much afterthought. “I know you have questions, Italy. Just.. ask away.” The expression on the shorter’s face was unreadable. He didn’t seem like himself. “You have Hanahaki Disease, right? That’s why you asked that yesterday?” The blond responded with a nod. “You aren’t going to tell me who you love. Am I right about that?” Blue eyes saddened, “I can’t tell you, I’m sorry. I really wish I could.” “Can I ask a few questions about her? Like characteristics?” He nodded his head once more. “What’s her hair color?” “Orangish brown. It looks beautiful when sunlight hits it.” Blue eyes gazed into brown ones. “What’s she like? Personality wise.” “They are positive about almost anything. They are honest with me. Oh, and they absolutely love cats. They are kinda an airhead, but I wouldn’t change a thing about them. They are perfect in my eyes.” Italy nodded his head and continued, “Her favorite flower?” he questioned. “It’s a white lily.” As if on queue, the sensation of his lungs tightening became apparent. He jolted up from his seat and bolted to the kitchen sink with his hand covering his mouth.
—
All Italy could do was watch as the man he secretly loved choked up flowers for a woman he didn’t know. He wished that the woman Germany loved was him. If he were a woman, maybe he would have a chance. He couldn’t bring himself to hate the woman either. She sounded lovely. Maybe I should tell him to send her some flowers. I think she would like that. He said white lilies were her favorite. The coughing seemed to drag on longer than the one last night.. What should he do? It seemed to be progressively worsening by the day. He pushed back his chair and walked over to where Germany was. He put his hand on the other’s back and rubbed circles into the soft fabric in a soothing motion. “You should send something to her. A gift maybe?” Those beautiful blue eyes stared into his brown ones. “Italy. It’s not a girl.” Not a girl? He had a chance? He wanted to say so many things, but he settled on not saying anything. He only responded with a nod. “You don’t hate me?” The Italian smiled, it was a sincere smile. “I could never hate you, Germany. My first ever crush was a guy.” He saw something shift in Germany’s demeanor, but he couldn’t pinpoint it. Relief? Maybe it was just his imagination.
—
Italy accepted me. I don’t know why I was so scared to tell him.. His first crush was.. a guy? But who? “Do you still like this guy?” Italy chuckled, “He doesn’t remember when we were kids. I love who he was and who he is now, yes, I do love him. Did you have anyone you liked when you were younger?” As he asked the question, it looked like he was hoping for something in particular. “I think I liked someone back then. I don’t remember her name or what she looked like. All I have to remember her by is a push broom that I was given. I just wished I could remember.” Italy smirked, “Pulling both men and women? I’m jealous!” he whined, “Double the opportunities for love!” The brunette finally decided to glance at the sink he was avoiding. Six petals. “How about we go sit on your couch and crack open a cold one? I’ll grab the drinks.” The taller one nodded and started on his journey to the couch.
The Italian didn’t leave the other waiting long. He scurried over with the bottles of beer in his arms. “Why did you suddenly want to drink? It’s early in the morning and you aren’t the biggest fan of beer.” He set the bottles of beer on the table and shrugged. “I figured you would want to.”
…
After five beers, Italy was drunk out of his mind while Germany was just a bit tipsy.
“Gersmanyyyy why do you have to like some,” he hiccuped, “random dude? Whyyyy?” He flopped onto Germany’s chest and threw his arms around the other’s neck. Italy’s skin was flushed and hot to the touch. “You’re drunk you-” He felt like someone had stabbed him in his lungs. He tossed the man on him aside and coughed. It felt bigger than the last time. He gagged when he felt the disgusting flower come out his throat. The thing that came out of his mouth was an unscathed white lily. All it was missing was the stem. He glanced over at Italy to apologize, but the look on the mans face was pure horror. Even through his drunken haze, he was able to tell that Germany didn’t have much time left. “Oh God, no no no no. Please, no. I-I can’t lose you again! Please tell me a way I can help you!” He crawled back over to ill man, “Please.. Anything.. I can’t lose you.”
Was he finally going to tell Italy the truth? It’s now or never. I wouldn’t have that much time left anyway. Wait.. what did he mean when he said that he didn’t want to lose me.. again? “What did you mean when you said that you didn’t want to lose me again?” “Shit. I hoped you wouldn’t notice that..” Germany gave him a glare that wordlessly said ‘explain.’ “You know how I said the first person I had a crush on was a guy, right?” “Yes, I remember.” Italy looked uncertain, “That boy’s name was the Holy Roman Empire. And the Holy Roman Empire was.. you when you were younger.” The realization punched Germany straight in the gut, “So, when you said you loved the guy he was before and the man he was after.. You were talking about.. Me?” He nodded, playing with his sleeve. He seems to do that when he’s nervous.
“You really didn’t notice yet?” He let out a sad chuckle and continued, “It’s a white lily.” He, now feeling more confident, points to the vile floral lying flat on the table. “Your national flower.”
“Oh.
Oh.”
“Ich Liebe Dich, Italy.”
He was then thrown backwards by the man on the verge of tears. “You made me worry so much! I didn’t want you to end up like the Princess in that story..” Germany smiled, “Isn’t it funny how we both fell for each other twice? I still have that push broom you gave me.” “Really? It meant that much to you?” He pulled the other closer, “Yes, it’s because you gave it to me.” He thought for a moment, “Küss mich.” Italy, now sitting in his lap, pulled in for a kiss. It was just like when they were kids, but this kiss was different. It felt more passionate. His lips were soft, and they tasted like the beer they had forgotten about. It was addictive. He could feel the soft strands of hair that he held in his hand. This was real and not one if his silly fantasies. Italy loved him back.
When he pulled back, they were both out of breath. He almost immediately went in for a hug. “I didn’t expect you to be so touchy. But I’m definitely loving this side of you.” “I never wanted to make you worry, Italy.” The brunette hugged him back, “I know.. Ti amerò per sempre.. Thank you for filling my world with color. You bring me so much joy.” He smiled.
“I will also love you forever, My lily.”
[End]