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Fuck. Freddie couldn't believe this shit. The doctor's kid was back? For what? He got homesick? He couldn't stand to be away from Amata anymore?
Yeah, he saved Freddie's life just now, but fuck him. Freddie didn't want to see him anymore. Especially not after everything, all the shit he and his father had put everyone through. Fuck him. Fuck him.
Naturally, Freddie avoided him. It wasn't hard; Thatchery was avoiding him too. He spoke to Amata and that guy he brought with him, and he left to talk to the overseer. That was it. He didn't talk to anyone else. He didn't approach Freddie either.
"Why are you watching him?" Susie asked in hushed tones.
"Because I want to know why he's here!"
She groaned. "Just ask him."
Okay, yeah, but that meant talking to him and he still remembered how hard that kid could punch. Holy shit, his arm had been bruised for almost two weeks. He didn't want to get punched again.
"He talked to Amata," Butch said as he sat beside Freddie. "He's here to help."
"Help what?"
Butch looked at Susie like she was the stupidest person on the planet. Now that Freddie thought about it, she probably was. "Us, shit for brains. Why else do you think he's here?"
Susie flushed angrily and stormed away from them. Fine. Freddie wasn't going to stop her.
"Why would he help us?"
Butch shrugged. "Amata and I sent out a broadcast for his help. He came to help."
"Why? He's the asshole who got us into this mess."
"Listen, he saved my ma. He's my friend, Freddie. I don't give a rat's ass what happened between you two, but he saved my ma's life."
Freddie snorted. "I never thought I'd hear you say you and Nosebleed were friends."
Fuck, Butch punched hard too. "And no one thought you'd be a Snake."
Freddie snorted and leaned against the wall. He fell silent, and Butch did too, sitting just beside him, their shoulders touching. Butch lit a cigarette and Freddie took comfort in the smell of it. He and Thatchery used to smoke those ones, passing the cigarette between each other until it burned down to the filter. They found a whole crate of menthols once, but when they tried them, they were disgusted.
"People used to smoke these?" Thatchery had asked.
They had left the crate tucked away with almost a whole cigarette crumpled and left on top. They stuck to their regular cigarettes after that. They found cigars once too, just before their "graduation", so they smoked them to celebrate. Thatchery had seemed so sad then.
"Hey, what's wrong with you? You've had the same dumbass look for five minutes."
"Sorry. I was thinking."
"That ain't good."
Freddie stood up. "Hey, I'll see ya later."
Butch waved him off. He needed some space for a bit. It was getting too stuffy in that room, too cloying. He felt claustrophobic.
Freddie found Thatchery kissing that guy out in the hallway, leaning against the wall beside the door. They hadn't noticed him, not even the door opening. So he turned and went the other way.
He wasn't mad. He couldn't be. He was the one to let go, to let Thatchery find someone better. And apparently he had found someone better, someone on the surface. Someone he could go to late at night, someone who wouldn't push him away. He was... He was happy for Thatchery. He forced himself to be.
Freddie had to be happy for him. He was the one to make himself let go of Thatchery. And now that maybe he was underground and Thatchery wasn't anymore, he could finally let go completely. That would be liberating, wouldn't it? To not miss him anymore, to not hate himself anymore.
He could only wish that he'd fallen in love sooner. He missed his chance and now they were living in separate worlds. Thatchery had moved on, which meant he should too, huh?
Fuck. Freddie couldn't believe this shit. It took the doctor's kid coming back for him to realize this bullshit.