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Eddie’s confused - maybe even a little irritated. Not at Buck. Never at Buck.
No, Eddie’s irritated because he can’t figure out what all these fucking pebbles mean.
It started last month; Eddie had been sitting on the beach, watching Christopher build a sandcastle, when Buck came up to him and handed him a pebble with no explanation. Eddie didn’t question it too much; he was used to Buck being weird at this point. One pebble didn’t seem like too big of a deal.
Eddie was clearly wrong, because over the course of a month, one pebble turned to fifteen, all without an explanation. Eddie was slowly going insane - he was going to be locked in a mental institute over the lovable idiot that is his best friend, giving him pebbles.
What was even worse was that Buck wasn’t even handing them to him anymore. No, Buck was now leaving them around the house and the god damn fire station.
Eddie decided that he was simply going to ignore the pebbles, hoping they’d disappear, and Buck would move on to gifting him lottery tickets or coffee instead.
Ignoring the pebbles didn’t work. In fact, it only made things worse, because now it was five weeks later, and Eddie had a total of forty-seven pebbles and one sad-looking rock that may have been from Christopher.
What was even worse than finding forty-seven pebbles in your house? Not being able to throw them away.
No, Eddie had to go and get emotionally attached to some glorified rocks. All because he was madly in love with the oversized golden retriever that kept giving them to him.
Which brings us to now.
It’s the typical Buckley-Diaz movie night, and they’re watching a documentary on penguins. Not the usual Friday night entertainment, but Chris is at a sleepover and Eddie can’t say no to Buck, so… penguin documentary it is.
At first, Eddie isn’t all that interested - much more content to sit back and listen to Bucks added commentary. That is, however, until he sees the motherfucking pebbles.
Listen, Eddie's not one to jump to conclusions. But right there on his TV screen is some old English man talking about how male penguins give pebbles as gifts to their penguin mate, the one they want to build a life with.
Now, Eddie could take this information and do the smart thing: ask Buck if this has anything to do with his recent pebble-gifting obsession. Maybe even ask him on a date.
Edmundo Diaz, however, has never claimed to be a smart man, which is why he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.
“Have you been trying to mate with me?”
The words fly out of Eddie's mouth before he has a chance to stop them, and he refuses to be embarrassed about it. Especially when Buck was the one who started this weird mating ritual in the first place.
That being said, Eddie’s little outburst has, for the very first time, rendered Evan Buckley speechless.
Across from him, Buck sat frozen - beer bottle pressed to his lips and eyes wide.
Eddie’s changed his mind. He would, in fact, like to rewind time and unsay everything that just came out of his mouth.
Hell, maybe he should go back to before he moved to LA. Maybe head to Chicago instead.
Chris would like it there. Sure, winter would suck, but they’ve got nice museums.
Buck sets his beer bottle onto the coffee table and turns to face him.
“Uh,” Buck says, drawn out and slow. “I mean……. I…Do you want me to try and mate with you?”
Eddie blinks. Then blinks again, trying to figure out what terrible thing he did in his past life to be sitting beside his best friend, talking about mating with each other.
He’s a father. A first responder. An upstanding member of the community. No one can ever find out about this conversation.
“Take your time, Ed’s,” Buck says, entirely too amused considering Eddie kind of wants to die right now.
Eddie throws a hand over his face, praying the floor will open up and swallow him within the next two seconds.
“Nope. Pretend I said nothing. In fact, this is all a dream, Buck. It’s okay. You can go back to sleep.”
“No can do, Edmundo,” Buck says, clearly holding back laughter. “That trick hasn’t worked on Christopher since he was ten, so it sure as hell won’t work on me. Though, if you want, I could start squawking, flap my arms a little.”
“Uhhhhh. You’re not helping, dickhead.” Eddie says, muffled by the hands covering his face.
“I’d say I’m helping a lot, actually.” Bucks smiling now, big, bright, and so beautiful, Eddie forgets how to breathe for a second. “Glad to see you finally figured it out. Unfortunately, it took you nine weeks, so I wouldn’t hold my breath on being promoted from Firefighter Diaz to Detective Diaz anytime soon.”
Eddie's hands drop from his face as he turns to look at Buck with an overdramatic sigh.
“You’re way too smug about this”, but there’s no anger behind it, so Buck just smiles, entirely too happy with the situation he’s found himself in.
“Ah, but I don’t think I’m being smug enough considering my favourite Diaz has informed me that you have kept every single one of the pebbles I’ve given you”.
Eddie has never faced such betrayal from his own flesh and blood before. Sweet, lovable, kind Christopher. A snitch. “I am going to have so many conversations with that kid.”
A couple of seconds pass, and Eddie looks over to the TV. The penguins are still moving about, nudging pebbles to make their nests, and cuddling up with each other. It's cute, Eddie can admit that it warms his insides a little. As ridiculous as it sounds, he wants that with Buck. A home. A life. A future.
“I thought you were trying to drive me insane with some weird Buck thing,” Eddie says softly, eyes still fixed on the TV.
Buck leans in, head resting on Eddie's shoulder, with his eyes closed. “I’ve never done anything weird in my life.”
“I once found you rearranging my kitchen at two in the morning. I'd only known you for a month.”
“In my defence, you kept your plates under the sink and your cleaning supplies above the fridge. That’s just wrong, Ed’s; I was saving you from complete embarrassment.”
Eddie can’t even argue with that. Buck's right, that kitchen was a disaster. He turns to Buck, the look on his face softening. “My point is…. I didn’t think you were actually trying to tell me something important.”
“I was,” Bucks' voice was gentle, and when Eddie met his eyes, there was nothing but love and certainty to be seen. “I didn’t know how to say it all. You and Chris are everything to me, Eddie. My home. My safe space. My heart. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t find the right words.”
He paused, rubbing the back of his neck, a soft and comforting smile on his face.
“Then I took Chris to the zoo because their penguin exhibit was finally open, and they started talking about the pebbles. I figured that if I couldn’t find the words, then maybe I could show it. If I gave you something small, but real, maybe you’d see how much I love you.”
Eddie shakes his head, a smile taking over his face. His eyes filled with awe and love. “You are unbelievable, do you know that?”
Buck shrugs. “You love me anyway.”
And yeah, there’s no denying it. Eddie loves him so much that it flows out of him. It's undeniable and exhilarating.
Eddie takes a minute to think about every moment that has led him to Buck. El Paso, the army, LA, the 118, everything. He thinks about their first shift, how they went from strangers to best friends. He thinks of every argument, every near-death experience, every breakdown. He thinks of the pebbles. The ones by his bed. The ones in the junk drawer in the kitchen, he refuses to call a junk drawer now because he knows what’s in there. The one in his truck, left there after a hard shift, and the one in his locker, left after a great shift. All those pieces of love, found in every corner of Eddie's life. Little bits of Buck and the love he holds.
He doesn’t know when he started falling. Probably somewhere between the first shift and the well. What he does know is that loving Evan Buckley is so easy that he didn’t realise he was falling until he was surrounded by it.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, voice warm and fond. “Yeah, I do.”
Buck doesn’t say anything at first, just looks at him like Eddies given him the whole damn universe. Like he’s been waiting to hear those words since the dawn of time, and maybe, just maybe, he has.
“Can I kiss you now?” Buck says, voice low, as if speaking any louder would shatter the moment, “Or do I need to go find another pebble first?”
Eddie laughs, loud and carefree. He leans in, resting his forehead against Bucks.
“No more pebbles,” he murmurs. “I just need you.”
And when Buck kisses him - soft, certain, and warm–Eddie thinks maybe penguins have the right idea after all.