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The first strike came in the form of an innocent drawing.
They were merely supposed to crash into Huntrix's fansign, partly because they had to steal their fans, partly because seeing the girls' horror to their arrival would certainly be a sight to behold, and for Jinu whose ego was as vast as the honmoon, there was nothing more satisfying than watching the hunters grit and grind their teeth when they realized the Saja Boys had invaded their event.
And yet, for all the hours he'd spent on a chair while in a sleeping bag, giggling to himself as he imagined Rumi and her friends' utter indignation to his presence, all his smug found its crack when amidst all the eager fans, a little girl had come up to him and innocently offered him her personal artistic rendition of Jinu as an angel.
"Jinu, you have a beautiful soul," the words on the paper read.
It hit him like a punch to the gut. One, he was not an angel. His heart had long been offered to Gwi-Ma some four centuries ago, from the moment he turned his back against his family to save his own skin. He devoured souls for years, like a thief greedy to take what was never his, because selfish was all he's ever known, and all he will ever be. And an angel was someone selfless.
Two, he doesn't have a soul, much less a beautiful one. He had always thought that perhaps, the reason why demons were so vehement in sucking out souls was because they did not have one, and Jinu realizes what a tragedy it is to traverse this world without the one thing that makes you truly experience what it means to live. He would know, because he once had one.
And lastly, three. The little girl who had handed him the drawing awfully reminded him of the one person he had failed to protect—his sister.
Jinu will never forget the haunting faces of his family as they looked at him for the last time, before the palace doors had closed between them, cutting him from them forever. The betrayal etched in their eyes, his despicable reflection staring back at him—it will never truly leave him.
Jinu was snapped out of his ruminating when he felt something soft graze his hand. He glanced down to see his demon pet tiger peering up at him with its bulging eyes, its canines peeking out of the jaw in what looked like a permanent eerie smile. The six-eyed crow was perched comfortably on Derpy as always.
His lips twitched in a subtle smile as he folded the drawing and tucked it inside the pocket of his sweater. "So? Was it a no again?"
Derpy answered by spitting a blue card into his hand—his designated means of communication with one of the hunters.
Jinu made a face of slight disgust as he lifted the soggy card, flicking the spit away before he read Rumi's response.
"Set the date."
"Date? She wants to go on a date?"
Jinu turned to the pet duo, as if they could actually talk. All he got were deadpan stares and slow blinks.
Well, might as well take advantage of it.
Shaking his head, Jinu looked at the card and read it again. He turned it in his hand while simultaneously fishing his pockets for a pen. He jotted down the time and handed it back to Derpy, who obediently took it in his mouth.
"Good boy," Jinu muttered with a brief pet before Derpy turned around and hopped off the platform they were standing on, but instead of freefalling into the ground, a warp hole opened in its place, and the tiger disappeared into it.
Jinu raised a brow at the bird that had left Derpy's head and had perched itself on his shoulder.
"Aren't you going with him?"
The crow squinted all its six eyes at him, as if giving him a bombastic side eye. A beat passed before it clicked in Jinu.
He raised a hand and gently patted the crow's head with a finger.
"Good boy."
The crow looked satisfied and raised its head haughtily before it fluttered after the warp hole. The two animals had never been separated, and Jinu was way past the era of knowing the reason why.
As he teared his eyes from the spot in the air where his pets had gone through, he let his eyes run across the expanse of the underworld. The dark sky was filled with souls shooting across towards the raging flame that was Gwi-Ma on his altar, as demons alike hooted and cheered, waving Saja Boys’ merch in the air while singing along their debut song.
This was the perfect view. A get-away, from the thoughts that followed him ever since he left the Huntrix and Saja Boy's joint fansigning event earlier.
“Maybe listen to those voices, instead of the ones in your head.”
Rumi's voice flooded into him, and Jinu reflexively balled his fists. He didn't like it. He didn't like the feeling of something swirling in his chest at her words. It made him feel.. like something hopeful. That he could be the things his fans think of him, that he could be someone who was just—good, someone who was—
“Someone's in deep thought, it seems.”
Jinu flinched in surprise, a sharp pain shooting through his head. His pupils dilated the moment he realized the owner of the voice that had suddenly penetrated his thoughts. He held his own head with a hand, jaw clenched as his eyes focused on the flame up ahead. Gwi-Ma.
The other demons didn’t appear to have heard it.
“Don't forget your purpose, Jinu. You have a debt to pay.”
Whispering voices like slithering snakes, hissed in his thoughts, accompanied by a searing pain. He can't communicate to Gwi-Ma this way, nor can Gwi-Ma actually hear his own thoughts. But Gwi-Ma feeds on the emotions and what he can see, and although Jinu doesn't exactly know how and when the Demon King came to be, he knew enough that Gwi-Ma had been alive long enough to know a person's thoughts and how they operate.
Don't feel guilty, Jinu thought. Wasn't this always the plan?
Once the voices faded, he looked at his palm, watching his demon patterns momentarily flicker across his skin, a reminder of his curse.
Stick to the plan.
The second strike was the bracelet Rumi had given him on what he initially thought of as a date.
Jinu leaned against the cement railing in the mountain promenade. Behind him, Seoul city lights shone in a vibrant, colorful pattern strewn as far as the eyes can see. The dawning sky decked in twinkling stars, the cold air blowing his hair into his face and tickling his eyes, and the distant humming of their debut song from somewhere in one of the establishments below—Jinu allowed his senses to be engulfed by his surroundings.
He was tapping his feet along with the beat while he leisurely looked around. The blue card holding the meeting spot Rumi had written on hung between his fingers as he flipped it back and forth, glancing at it. He sighed.
“She wants to meet and she’s late?”
He whipped his head around and shrieked when a face popped up out of seemingly nowhere.
Jinu jumped backwards, and he would have rolled down the stairway had he not stabilized his grip on the cement. When he looked up at Rumi, all he could see was her donning a smug smirk that could rival his, squatting like some sort of gangster. She definitely did that on purpose.
“Hah.. you made me come all the way out here so you could jumpscare me?” he accused, hand over his chest while he adjusted his posture, hoping he didn’t look too lame. Although the face she was making told him otherwise.
Rumi ignored him and dropped off the railing, her hair swishing behind her the same time she whirled around.
“Follow me.”
Jinu looked at her back and scoffed, making a face.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finally ready to talk,” he said as he took wary steps after her, as if she was going to pounce on him and scare him again. “Although, you could’ve picked somewhere nicer for a date.”
Flabbergasted, Rumi whipped to face him, disgust written all over her.
“Date? No! Ew! What are you talking about?”
Jinu raised the card between his fingers and looked her in the eye.
“That doesn’t mean—” Rumi sighed in defeat, her shoulders sagging— “Ugh, you’re so old.”
Then she stepped forward and snatched the card in his hand, looking unamused.
“This is strictly a business meeting.” Stuffing the card into the back of her pocket, she turned around and resumed walking.
Jinu held back a smile and raised both hands. “Okay, loud and clear.”
“What if I told you there’s another way to get your freedom?”
Now that caught his attention. She sought him out. She took the bait, believed his story, according to plan. He should have been elated, yet there was that tiny hope that once again sprung up.
“Go on.”
Rumi stopped and briefly looked over the railings, over Seoul, before turning towards him.
“Help us win the Idol Awards.” She clambered over the railing, and Jinu watched as the honmoon strings hummed to life at her touch. “Because when we win, the honmoon will be sealed. And that will guarantee your freedom.”
Freedom, so she says. The one thing Jinu had been so desperate to achieve. He knew he weaved a lie just for her, but just like the saying goes, the best way to write a lie is to mix in some truth in it. And he hadn’t been lying when he told her on that rooftop of a harbored shame he couldn’t escape.
“Gwi-ma will be permanently cut off,” Rumi continued, as she turned to look at the city. Just beyond the horizon, the dawning sun was rising. The stars slowly faded from view. “And all the demons will be gone from this world. I will finally be free of these patterns.”
“No more hiding. No more secrets.” She turned to face him once more, and Jinu caught her genuine gaze. For some reason, the sincerity in her voice only made him feel worse. “You can be on this side when the honmoon is sealed. Away from the demon world, away from Gwi-Ma. You can be free from those voices forever.”
Rumi had hopped off the rails and stood in front of him, waiting for a reply.
Jinu slowly tightened his fists. “What makes you think the honmoon can save a guy like me?”
He wasn’t even asking for the sake of pity. He needed to follow the plan, and yet.. as much as how tempting her offer sounded, he could never envision himself truly free from Gwi-Ma’s control, from the voices constantly ringing inside his head whenever he even thought about freedom. He’s lived all these years filled with shame, with sins. The honmoon can’t save a demon like him who’s gone too far.
“A guy who tried to help his family? You made a mistake, Jinu.”
Oh.
Jinu’s gaze dropped to the ground. Suddenly, the elation over Rumi believing his lies disappeared and was replaced with dread. If only she knew.
If only she knew that he had never helped his family at all. If only she knew that he’d actually left them behind, that he had listened to the voices in his head and had given in to temptation, even if it meant living his life lavishly in comfort while his own family starved to death. If only she knew how selfish he really was.
Maybe she wouldn’t be regarding him with a look as gentle as she did now. And maybe Jinu wouldn’t have to feel like a jerk for lying to her.
“It’s not that simple.”
“But I, am a mistake.”
Jinu paused, noting the dismal look painted all over Rumi.
“Have been,” she continued, “since the moment I was born. So.. I have to believe. Because, if there’s no hope for you, what hope is there for me?”
There it was again. That word. Hope. The longer Jinu held her eyes, the clearer he could see his reflection in her stare. And in her eyes, he saw that he didn’t look like a demon.
“Bracelet? For your beautiful girlfriend?”
They broke off their eye contact at the sudden interjection of another voice. A middle-aged woman was selling bracelet trinkets, and normally, Jinu would have questioned what kind of person would be up so early in the morning to sell bracelets in a quiet place like this park, but his ears latched onto the key word and he immediately reacted the same time as Rumi.
“Oh, no—haha—we’re not—.. She’s not even my type.”
“Oh, no. Ugh—what? Excuse me? I’m everyone’s type.”
“You can’t even show up on time.”
“Wha—? What are you, from the 1900s?”
They must have looked crazy, flailing their arms exaggeratingly and so defensively.
“I can see why you’re still single,” Jinu muttered, making Rumi sputter in disbelief. He glanced at the woman and shot her what he wished was a convincing smile. “See? We’d never work.”
The woman had stepped closer and scrutinized him with squinted eyes, as if examining him through his soul. Without taking her eyes off him, she offered a blue bracelet to Rumi.
“Here, free one. Go find yourself a better boy, this one’s hopeless.” Then, with one last look, she turned away and let them be.
Instead of being offended, Jinu released a short-lived, soulless chuckle as they both watched her leave. “Well, there’s your answer. Hopeless.”
Rumi glanced down at the woven bracelet, a distant glaze in her eyes.
“That’s the funny thing about hope. Nobody else gets to decide if you feel it.” She faced him. “That choice belongs to you.”
Jinu could only watch, a loss of words, as Rumi lifted her hand to him, offering the bracelet. He looked at her face, then at the bracelet, then back to her. Something warm bloomed in his chest. She was telling the truth. She was being genuine with him. How could he accept this bracelet? Accepting it meant allowing himself to trust in her words. In her. Accepting it meant allowing himself to hope.
When he didn't move, Rumi sighed in defeat and rolled her eyes as she turned away, grasping the bracelet in her hold.
"Fine, your loss."
Jinu moved before his mind could catch up.
His hand shot towards her wrist, abruptly stopping Rumi in her tracks, and when she slowly looked back at him, that was when Jinu realized what he'd done.
He quickly brought his hand back to his side and stood straight the same time Rumi did, the warmth of her skin still lingering in his palm. There was a sudden shift in the air, one he could not yet put into words.
“I was just—trying to, get the, uh, bracelet.”
“Oh, yeah. The bracelet.”
Rumi nervously tucked her hair behind her ear, and Jinu realized he wasn’t the only one feeling the tension.
Rumi awkwardly handed him the bracelet without looking at him, to which Jinu quickly snagged, as if they'd been in the middle of an illegal drug trading in the middle of the sidewalk. Totally not suspicious. There was absolutely nothing suspicious about two leaders of the hottest K-pop groups in town having a secret rendezvous at such an hour. Jinu briefly wondered whether there were any paparazzi around.
He eyed the blue bracelet in his hand, a somberness at her words taking root in his chest. Hope.
And then, without even looking at her, he said, "For what it's worth, I don't think you're a mistake."
When he was met with silence, Jinu couldn't help but finally look at her.
Rumi wore an indescribable expression, gaze widened just a tad and lips slightly parted in what Jinu thought as surprise. And maybe, just maybe (unless his eyes were playing tricks on him)—there was the tiniest hint of pink dusting her cheeks. Perhaps she hadn't been expecting a demon of all people to say it. Jinu himself sure didn't.
“Okaybye.”
Her goodbye was so abrupt, it left Jinu blinking at her retreating back.
“Yeah, uh, bye—uh, b—uh..”
Jinu cringed at his own words, but luckily Rumi was way out of earshot to hear how pathetic he just sounded. He turned on his heel and sped walked away, shoving the bracelet in his pocket but never letting go of it.
The days passed and the annual Idol Awards were drawing nearer. The Saja Boy's debut single was soaring the charts as higher than ever, and the underworld continued to be supplied with a plethora of souls to be collected.
Everything was going according to plan, yet Jinu could not shake away the discomfort growing in his stomach. So when he receives another card from Rumi telling him to meet up with her the night before the award show, he has no choice but to show up.
As always, he arrived at their meeting place first; people in the modern era have no sense of punctuality, he concluded. He leaned against a wall, eyes downcast as he fiddled with the bracelet in his pocket, deep in thought.
Derpy nudged his hand for attention and Jinu couldn't help a small smile from forming as he petted him.
He heard her footsteps arriving before he saw her.
"Okay, so I've been meaning to ask, why does the bird wear a tiny hat?"
Jinu squinted at the crow, as if blaming it.
"I made it for the tiger, but the bird keeps taking it." Which technically, didn't really answer the question, but Jinu himself had no idea why it was so fixated on the hat either.
Rumi laughed, and Jinu was caught so off-guard he couldn't help but stare.
Her eyes disappeared and her lips were twisted upwards in a smile, the pearly whites of her teeth showing. And that laugh—god, that laugh—Jinu never abandoned music even after being turned into a demon, yet never in his four hundred years had he heard a melody like her laughter.
Before he knew it, he was smiling along with her, a chuckle that sounded foreign to his ears accompanying her sound. He trailed his eyes to the ground as the laughing eventually faded and silence reigned between them.
“Tomorrow’s the Idol Awards,” Rumi said, shattering the quietude.
Jinu hummed. “Yeah. Still can’t believe a two-week rookie group I formed out of a whim is competing with Korea’s top girl group. Who would have thought?”
Chuckling, Rumi playfully rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head. We’re not gonna lose.”
A part of Jinu truly hoped they wouldn’t.
Rumi pushed herself off the wall she’d been leaning against and started walking. Jinu stared at her back for a moment before he followed in her steps.
“I’ve been wondering, are all demons like you? Forced to follow Gwi-Ma’s commands?”
Jinu gave it some thought. “I’d say, to a certain extent, yes.”
“So you’re telling me I’ve been killing mindless puppets all along?”
Jinu noted the hint of bitterness in her tone. “Don’t beat yourself up. While all do listen to Gwi-Ma, they don’t really make an effort to disobey him either. They take joy in devouring souls.”
“Do you?”
Jinu swallowed a pit of saliva.
“No. Not really.”
That wasn’t a lie. He was prepared to receive a skeptical look from Rumi, but she seemed to really take his answer for what it was.
“Are all demons formerly humans, then?”
“That I’m not sure,” Jinu admitted, which earned a raised brow from Rumi.
“Really? Four hundred years hanging out with them didn’t tell you that?”
“I’m not really best buddies with Gwi-Ma, you see. He’s not exactly the type to be enthusiastic in giving demon history lectures,” Jinu said with his usual sass. "By the way, I'm hoping you know where we're headed?"
Rumi paused and looked at him questioningly. "Huh?"
Jinu gestured to the road and half-shrugged. "We've been walking for quite a while now. And miss hunter, I'm sure there are a lot of other ways to catch guys if you're planning on leading me into a dark alley."
Rumi sputtered, all flushed, "Catch g—? Excuse me?" She placed a hand over her chest, the gesture screaming 'The audacity!'
"There's no way I will ever do whatever you're insinuating! Besides, you're not even my type."
Oh, she really went there.
Jinu smirked.
"Please, so we're just gonna forget the doe face you made the first time we met—"
A glowing sword materialized threateningly under his chin.
"Woah, woah, easy there, tiger," Jinu chuckled, arms raised in faux surrender. "I was joking."
From behind the sword, Rumi glared daggers at him. Damn she's hot.
"Next time, make jokes that are actually funny," she huffed as she disposed of the sword and turned her back to him, her long braid swaying with the movement as she resumed walking.
Jinu whistled as he took long strides to catch her pace. "I do make good jokes, your humor is the one that needs fixing."
Rumi was about to retort when her eyes caught something and she paused. Jinu raised a brow and followed her gaze. Up ahead of them stood a dome-like building, imposing and grand-looking amidst the night backdrop, with the roof made out of glass. Windows were plastered all over, with tints of faded blue peeking out of them. Above the wide entrance was a huge marquee, illuminating the sign in large glowing letters: Aqua Park.
"The aquarium?" Jinu voiced out loud, shooting Rumi a knowing grin. "So this is a date after all?"
Her answer came in the form of a quick jab to the gut. Jinu doubled over and grunted.
Ignoring his comment, Rumi padded over towards the entrance, still looking at the signage above. Jinu watched the way the glow of the marquee reflected in her eyes; she looked like a kid who was looking at their favorite prize.
"Don't tell me you've never been here before?" he asked as he walked after her, hands shoved in his pockets.
Rumi blinked and shook her head with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"You're an idol, so you'd know." She realized something and added, "Well, technically, you've been an idol for like, what? Two weeks? Anyway, we don't exactly have the luxury to visit public amusement places on a whim. If the girls wanna go somewhere like this, Bobby would have it booked in advance."
She turned to him, and Jinu thought she looked a bit wistful.
"That doesn't really give the same experience, does it?"
Jinu stared at her for a long time before he turned to the entrance. There was a stanchion post in front to ward off people from entering. The sign 'Closed' stood on the carpet, and the opening hours were glued to the wall right beside the entrance.
The streets were empty, and the aquarium was sure to be as well. Save for the fishes.
Jinu turned to Rumi.
"Wanna go inside?"
Rumi blinked at him, as if she couldn't dare believe what just came out of his mouth.
"What? No—that's a bad idea."
Jinu shrugged and lifted a leg over the stanchion post.
"Only a bad idea if we get caught."
"Jinu!" Rumi whisper-yelled as she watched him waltz across the entrance like he owned the place. "We're not allowed to—"
"Miss hunter, in case you forgot, I'm a demon," Jinu whirled around and shot her his signature idol wink with arms open wide as if he was inviting her for a hug. Rumi looked like she was about to gag. "Demons don't care about human rules."
Rumi looked to be in the middle of an internal tug-of-war, but one more look at Jinu wiggling his eyebrows with that playful grin seemed to be the last straw. She lifted a leg over the post and begrudgingly followed after him.
"And in case you forgot, I'm human."
"A human who's part demon; so really, who are we fooling here?"
A loud smack followed by an "Ow!" bounced against the aquarium walls.
As soon as they walked through a corridor, Jinu watched the way the annoyance quickly left Rumi's face as she gazed in awe at the fishes swimming behind the glass panels that encircled them. Aquatic creatures of different species filled the place—angelfish, goldfish, pufferfish, sting rays, and all the other fishes Jinu couldn't exactly identify swam around. Some looked at them curiously through the glass, as if fully aware it wasn't opening hours yet and wondering why there were people inside their home.
Jinu was pleased himself. While he doesn't exactly relate to Rumi's idol life (he was barely two weeks old as an idol), it wasn't like he had the luxury to enjoy himself in the real world as a demon either.
The both of them walked around the aquarium for a while, checking out different rooms and glass tanks, passing through stores selling merchandise, exchanging banters when Jinu teased that Rumi should say hi to her long-lost sister whilst he’d pointed at a batfish.
"So, how's the sneaking-into-a-closed-aquarium experience going for you?" Jinu asked as he sat down on the marble edge of a fountain in the middle of the room. Rumi was still going around the glass panels, eyeing the fishes as if committing them all to memory. Cute.
"I have to say, you know how to have a good time," Rumi chuckled as she turned to him, hands clasped behind her back. The glow of the water casted an iridescent blue over her skin, and her eyes twinkled just the right way, making her look more—
Woah, he thought, catching himself. Calm down, Jinu. It's just Rumi.
"You think this is a good time?" Jinu puffed his chest proudly. "My dear miss hunter, you're missing out on a lot in life."
Rumi raised a brow, a slightest hint of an amused smile creeping into her face. She made her way towards where he sat on the fountain.
"Oh? And I suppose the oh-so ever great Jinu has experienced a lot of good times in life already?"
"Yeah, well, living over four hundred years can do that for you."
Rumi stopped right in front of him, hands still clasped behind her back. Jinu had to crane his neck up to look at her.
She grinned, and Jinu thought how that was probably the first time she had ever looked at him like that. He tried to ignore the skip in his heartbeat.
"You really are an old man, huh."
Jinu scoffed.
"Puh-lease, have you ever seen an old man who looks this good?" He gestured to his face.
Rumi leaned closer to his face, the movement so abrupt that it caught Jinu by surprise. He leaned back, feeling his throat constrict. Before he could stop, he leaned too far back, crashing into the fountain waters in a huge splash. Jinu sputtered as he sat up, wet hair sticking to his forehead as he tried to make sense of what happened.
Rumi was doubling over in laughter, tears in her eyes as she pointed at him.
"Got ya! HAHA!"
Jinu was still blinking at her when it dawned on him. He rolled his eyes, and yet, for whatever reason, there was not an ounce of annoyance in him at all. Not when she had yet again graced him with that laugh of hers.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, real mature. Newsflash: Huntrix's leader is a real child, everybody!" Jinu announced to no one in particular, which only somewhat made Rumi laugh harder.
"Okay, okay, I'll stop." Rumi wiped the tears away, that contagious smile still plastered on her. She held a hand for him to take. "For the record, I didn't push you; you did that all on your own."
Jinu pulled his lips into a tight smile, not convinced. "Mhm."
The moment their hands clasped together, Jinu yanked her into the water. Rumi yelped and another wave of splash crashed over him, but this time, it was Jinu's turn to laugh in triumph.
Rumi sputtered out water and looked at him with narrowed eyes.
When the laughter died down, the both of them finally stood from the water. Jinu clambered over the marbled edge first then offered a hand to Rumi, who glanced at his hand before she accepted it with a smile. Again. There was that clammy feeling again, Jinu thought as he helped her off the fountain.
While Rumi was wringing her sweater to squeeze out the water, Jinu had left her briefly and came back with a towel in hand. Upon seeing her, he froze in his tracks.
Rumi, noticing him, raised a brow. "What?"
Jinu blinked at her a few times, allowing the image to process, before he mused almost absentmindedly.
"You let your hair down."
Indeed, during the short time he was away, Rumi had untangled her braid and was now in the process of squeezing it dry. Jinu watched the long strands of purple frame her face, sticking to her as if she’d just finished a shower. She looked.. well, she looked different, than her usual appearance. More comfortable. More her, whatever that meant.
"Uh, yeah. I had to get the water out," Rumi said as she eyed the towel, then back at him. "Did you.. steal from the stores we passed by earlier?"
Jinu blinked a few more times and cleared his throat as he walked over and handed her the towel.
"No," he emphasized. "I'm just borrowing."
Rumi squinted at him but eventually accepted with a shrug. "Fine. Thanks."
While she dried her hair, Jinu turned around and took off his jacket, flapping it a few times before he laid it on the bench at the side. He looked at her again, realizing something.
"You should take off your jacket, too. You're gonna catch a cold."
Rumi froze, catching his eyes, and that was when Jinu remembered.
"It's just us here," he said, voice gentle and coaxing, which sounded uncharacteristic even to him. "No one will see your marks. Except, maybe, the fishes."
Rumi held his gaze for a few more lingering seconds, allowing him to see her hesitation.
“You’re not the only one with them, anyway,” he said, turning his arms for her to see. “I’m just like you.”
Rumi’s eyes dropped to his arms, specked with marks. A second passed by before she eventually gave in and slowly lifted her sweater, leaving her in nothing but a white sleeveless turtleneck.
The sight was mesmerizing, as much as how Jinu hated to admit it. He knew demon patterns were supposed to be something shameful, something to scorn at; a flaw, never meant to be shown, but seeing them decorating all over Rumi’s skin, complementing her hair, especially now that she had let it down—she looked too.. too beautiful. And Jinu couldn’t understand how someone so beautiful was considered a sin.
Rumi laid it over the bench next to his own wet jacket, and they stood in silence as they gazed at the fishes from the other side of the panel.
“So,” Rumi began, “about tomorrow, have you thought about my proposal?”
Jinu bit his lip. “Look, I want to believe in your crazy plan, but.. I don’t think I’m the one to help you.”
Visions of his past resurfaced.
“Actually, you already have.”
Jinu looked at her, watching the way the blue hues of the water and the glass shone on her face.
“I spent my whole life keeping this secret,” Rumi mused, holding her own arms. “This.. shame of what I am. And the more I hid this shame, the more it grew, and grew… until it started to destroy the one thing that gave me a purpose: my voice.”
“But since I’ve met you, and the more I talk to you,” she trailed off, “I don’t understand it, but somehow, my voice has healed.”
Her confession had Jinu’s thoughts spiraling down into a deep pit of mushed up emotions, piling up behind a dam that was threatening to shatter. He shouldn’t let this continue further. He needed to break whatever this whole thing between them was, before he crossed a line—a boundary, that he’s been dancing around ever since that little girl and her drawing put him off his tracks. He couldn’t put a name to whatever this was, but somehow, that was even more terrifying than having a definite word to call it. Jinu knew he should stop, but—oh, how beautiful she was. How could he ever refuse her when her mere existence was enough to tell him that his own scars could be something more?
If Rumi could hold on to hope, could he do the same?
He looked at his own marks.
The water behind the glass tank glinted brightly, like it had its own sky trapped underwater.
Rumi chuckled, calling Jinu’s attention back.
“You know, I was always told to cover up these marks, that they were something ugly. Like they were cracks. You’re the first person to tell me it’s okay to show them.”
She teared her eyes from the fishes to look at him, and there was something shining in her eyes that pulled Jinu towards her. Instinctively, his hand slowly rose towards her face, knuckles gingerly brushing the wet strands from obstructing her forehead. His eyes trailed over every inch of her face in quiet reverence, soft feather touches tracing the curve of her eyebrows down the side of her face, until he stopped to rest his palm on her cheek. He was prepared for her to step back, but when Rumi made no move to lean away from his touch, it gave him the last push he needed.
“You should let your hair down sometimes, Rumi,” he said in a tone lower than usual, eyes trailing over the gentle features of her face, slowly thumbing her cheek. He saw his reflection in her eyes, and it caught him by surprise that he was ever capable of making such an expression.
“And as far as I’m concerned.. I think you’re just as beautiful with the cracks showing.”
Something changed in Rumi’s gaze. Something more vulnerable. Jinu swore she looked like she was about to cry, and he could only imagine the burden she’d felt all these years, covering up something that was a part of her. Something that was never meant to be hidden. She was never meant to be hidden. She deserved to be in the spotlight, to be proclaimed, all parts of her—especially the broken parts. And Jinu thought about how slow he’d been, only just realizing that he’s always deserved the same virtue.
He saw the way her eyes fell to his lips. A magnetic charge pulled an invisible string between them, and Jinu found himself leaning closer. Perhaps a thousand thoughts raced through him—he couldn’t tell, not with the way his heartbeat was pounding loud in his ears, drowning them out. She was drowning them all out, which was something that had never happened before.
When instead of pushing him away, Rumi’s eyes slowly fluttered to a close, Jinu’s heart skipped a beat. He followed her lead and closed his eyes, the distance between them now merely a hair’s breadth, lips about to touch, when—
“Do you think you deserve to be free?”
He stopped.
The voices came, hissing and snapping in a crescendo, filling his ears with a cacophony of discordance.
A sharp pain shot through his head, and he involuntarily took a step back, holding back a groan.
“Jinu?”
Rumi’s voice had him snapping his eyes back wide open, breathing heavily as if he’d just run a marathon. And when he caught her eyes, concern dancing in them, the blueness from the water tanks bouncing off her face, he didn’t know exactly who he wanted to hit: Gwi-Ma or himself. Maybe a bit of both.
The air of intimacy and vulnerability had shattered, and Jinu was left facing his reality, his chest now heavy more than ever.
“Are you okay?” Rumi stepped forward with a hand raised to his face, but Jinu briskly turned away before she could get closer.
“Yeah—fine. I’m fine,” he quickly said, reaching down to pick up his jacket. It was still slightly damp, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was leaving before he got any more funny ideas. Leaving before things get too.. real.
“It’s almost opening hours, we should go before a staff employee finds us.”
He shrugged on the jacket and risked a glance back at Rumi. Confusion was written all over her. And.. maybe, a bit of disappointment. Oh how he wanted to wipe that look away. Jinu wanted to hit himself for real.
“Listen, Rumi, I just—” he held back a cringe; he couldn't dare look her in the eye— “I’ll… make sure the Saja Boys lose tomorrow.”
And just like that, he went back to his lies. To where he’s most comfortable.
When he glanced at her for the last time, she was still looking at him with the same pained expression, brows pulled tight into a frown, as if she was trying her hardest to read through him.
And then, just like all his lies, he weaved in a bit of truth.
“I.. can’t wait to see you on that stage tomorrow.”
He didn’t wait to hear her answer. Jinu turned on his heel and brusquely paced away, hands roughly shoved into his pocket and a sinking pit in his stomach with every step he took away from her. His back burned from her stare, and it took everything within him to not look back. The blue glow from the aquarium tanks slowly faded, and when Jinu exited the building, he was greeted with the same dullness he’s known all these years.
He sped-walked away from the entrance and into the quiet neighborhood streets, turned a corner here and there. He didn’t know where he was heading to, which was ironic because that was exactly what he felt like: lost.
The voices returned, and that familiar tug pulled on his spine. Jinu braced himself for the fall, and fall he did. He sank into the ground and landed on his back onto something hard and concrete, knocking the wind out of him. But he’s used to it by now. You’d think with all of Gwi-Ma’s demon powers, he’d have the grace to gift his henchmen a more comfortable travel to and fro the underworld—one that didn’t involve breaking one’s back.
Jinu pulled himself up to stand and was greeted with a bunch of demons looking up at him with undecipherable expressions.
He knew why they were looking at him like that. He knew, but if there was one thing Jinu had mastered all these years, it was reverting back to his old self behind a mask.
“What’s with the long faces? Everything’s going to plan.” He gestured to the sky filled with souls that resembled shooting stars. “Look at all these souls, huh?”
A demon gripping a Saja Boys’ lightstick merch pointed behind him. Jinu’s eyes slowly moved before his own body did, and when he fully turned around, hot flames surged upward as if mimicking a tidal wave that threatened to devour him. His face prickled with all the heat.
Gwi-Ma’s booming voice echoed through the fire.
“That’s funny. I thought for a moment you actually believed you could be free.”
The flames trembled as Gwi-Ma roared out a laugh so strong it reverberated across the demon underworld.
Jinu tried to laugh along with him. “Yeah. That’s.. that’s funny.”
“Because, if you really believed her, if you really thought you could escape what you are, what you did..”
A sharp throb pounded in his head. Jinu’s pupils dilated the same time a pained groan escaped his lips. He doubled over, hands clutching his head.
“You would have told her the truth.”
Flashes of his past, of what truly happened, played in his mind like snippets of a movie. Of how he watched and only listened as his sister wailed and tried to reach for him.
“You betrayed your own family.”
Of how the palace doors shut them away from him, and he just let it happen.
“You left them behind.”
Jinu looked at his own trembling hands, these same hands that have carried his marks for years. When he raised his eyes to see through the fire that had surrounded him, all he saw was his reflection dancing in the flames. Gone was the glow of the warm aquarium blue—now replaced with hues of cold red.
And perhaps, this was the real him—coward, shameful, hopeless—and no amount of hope could ever fix that.
“Don’t forget about our deal, Jinu. Because I can turn those voices up. Or.. they could be gone. Don’t think you can escape what you are.”
Jinu gasped as the voices suddenly stopped. All the strength in his legs seemingly dissipated with it, and he crumbled to the ground. All he could hear now was his heavy breathing, heaving and heaving as he tried to suck in all the air he thought he’d lost.
He recalled the way Rumi looked as she showed her marks to him. The way she let him see the things she hid from the rest of the world, the utter trust and sincerity. He imagined the face she would make when she realizes she’s been wrong about him after all this time.
His third strike.
On the night of the Idol Awards, the Saja Boys were led to a waiting room backstage. They were slated to perform first, as it was customary for rookie groups to go up stage first, letting the seniors go last.
Jinu reclined in his cushion seat fiddling with the blue bracelet. From behind him, the rest of the Saja Boys were enjoying themselves munching on some snacks the staff had given them earlier.
Sighing, Jinu took out the drawing and allowed his eyes to linger on the piece of paper. It had folding lines and crumpled edges, a sign that he’d been constantly folding and unfolding it ever since the day he received it.
“Don’t think you can escape what you are,” the memory of Gwi-Ma’s voice echoed in his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“If you’re thinking about ruining our plan over some fickle emotions, think again.”
Jinu looked up at the vanity mirror before him. In the reflection behind him, he saw Abby shooting him an accusatory stare, while the rest of the boys had gone quiet.
Scoffing, Jinu crumpled the drawing.
“For that to happen, I’d need to have those fickle emotions you’re describing.”
“I’m warning you, Jinu,” Abby said. “Don’t drag us into your mess. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you looked at that hunter girl earlier.”
Jinu recalled walking past Rumi and the others earlier in the hall backstage. His blood surged. “Abby, I had you join this team for your face, because for some unholy reason I can’t begin to fathom, fans like it. I didn’t let you in because you had a knack for thinking.”
Abby stood from the couch, gaze sharp. “You—”
The sound of clapping broke the tension in the waiting room.
“Woow, look at all this testosterone in the air,” Romance sang with a smile that said he couldn't care less. “The ‘infighting’ part was supposed to be a fake, right? Calm yourselves. Can’t you hear that? The hunters are performing.”
True enough, from the sound systems outside, they could hear the faint boom of Huntrix’s recent single playing, along with the fans screeching.
Jinu and Abby glared at each other through the mirror, but were distracted by the humming on the other side of the couch.
“I lived two lives, tried to play both sides, but I couldn’t find my own place—I love that part.”
The boys frowned at Mystery, who visibly shrunk beneath all the stares.
Jinu shook his head and gave one last look at the crumpled drawing in his hand before he chucked it in the trash bin beside the vanity mirror.
“That’s our cue. Let’s go. Stick to the plan.”
As the Saja Boys filed out of the room, Jinu was the last to go. He stopped beside the trash bin and examined the blue bracelet in his palm. He clenched his jaw and directed his hand over the bin, but couldn’t find it in him to let it fall from his grasp.
What was he holding on to anyway?
Rumi gave him this bracelet, and he was going to betray her tonight. Granted, they were never on the same side in the first place, so was it even betrayal? Jinu only got close to her to discover her weakness, but then somewhere along the way he had actually begun to look forward to sneaking out in the early dawn to meet her on rooftops. He’d only just realized how intimate all those secret meet-ups have been, and how much he enjoyed spending time with her, whether she looked at him with annoyance at his teasing or with a smile at his jokes.
That warm feeling returned to his chest—and along with it, something heavy. He was going to betray her—No, not betrayal. You were using her from the very start, he told himself. There was simply no time to address these feelings, even if he wanted to. Even if some part of him knew what it was. He couldn’t bring himself to admit it.
He finally let go and walked away, didn’t watch the way the bracelet clattered on top of the crumpled piece of paper.
From beside the door, Derpy and the crow peered at him with their blinking eyes. After four hundred years of companionship, Jinu could somewhat read their faces, and although that eerie smile was the same as ever, Derpy certainly looked droopier as he watched his owner.
This time, Jinu didn’t pet him as he walked through the door.
Jinu’s eyes were glued to the screen unblinkingly, something ugly settling in his chest as he watched the demons he’d sent—masked as Rumi’s friends, slowly reveal Rumi’s darkest fears on stage, for all eyes to see. The same fears she’d trusted him with.
The camera had panned closer at Rumi’s face, the horror and fear mixed with hopelessness decking every inch of her as she held her own arms and whirled around while the audience gasped and pointed at her like she was a spectacle.
Then, just when Jinu could no longer bear to watch it, Rumi yelled into her mic and the TV screen shut down.
For a few seconds, a haunting silence pervaded the empty hall. All around him, Jinu could see the honmoon tearing bit by bit, what were once golden strings now fading into shades of red and purple combined, trembling at the pressure of demons pushing through its boundaries. He glanced down at his own skin and saw his patterns peeking through.
Jinu swallowed a heavy pit of saliva, balling his fists. This was it. He had done it. This was a place of no return. Or perhaps, he never had that chance in the first place.
“Jinu!” His name was called by that familiar voice. Somehow, hearing her only made him feel worse. He didn’t want to let her see him like this. He wanted to run away—what he always did best whenever things got too difficult to face.
But something planted his feet firmly as he allowed her to find him.
From behind him, he heard shuffling footsteps: the demons he’d sent to humiliate her on stage.
Then she appeared on the other end of the hallway. Hair unkempt, blazer gone, her marks out in the open, eyes filled with unshed tears—she looked helpless, and Jinu had to remind himself that he was the one behind it. Because if he hadn’t, he would have ran straight to her.
Her eyes turned a shade of anger as she stomped over, breathing heavily.
“Say you didn’t do this.”
Without breaking eye contact, Jinu snapped his fingers. The demon disguises behind him faded.
Rumi’s face fell.
“How could you do this?!” she cried as she made a poor attempt to shove him, and he just let her. The force felt weaker than usual that he barely budged, and honestly, Jinu wished she'd done it harder. She could have summoned her sword right then and there and he would have willingly offered his head, because if there was anyone in this world who could deliver him to death’s door, he’d prefer it to be by her own hand.
“It was all a lie.”
“It was real! I know it was!”
“The things I said? I just needed you to trust me. That’s all.” He slowly turned around.
Then Rumi had to counter him. Of course she did. It was like she always knew what buttons to push to trigger the parts of him he’d kept hidden after all this time. Buttons he himself never knew he had.
“No! No, I know your story. You were a good person, and you still are. You just made a mistake—”
A good person. Jinu inwardly scoffed.
“I left them!”
He snapped, whipping back to face her. He felt his own eyes change into something more demonic, but one look at her terrified expression had him reverting them back. This was what he dreaded the most; Rumi finally realizing he was never the man she thought he was. And he himself desperately wished he was.
“That’s right, I lied to you. I only made a deal with Gwi-Ma to get myself out of that miserable life,” his voice cracked as he laid it all out, the words spilling out before he could even contain himself. “I left my sister, my mother, alone—while I slept on silk sheets in the palace with my belly full every night!”
Memories came flooding back. Jinu’s eyes stung.
“I left them,” he repeated.
And yet, Rumi held on to him. He couldn’t understand how she could do it even after everything he’s done; he purposefully exposed her secrets onstage, he had her own friends turn their backs to her, he deliberately hurt her—gave her more than enough reasons to let go, yet she pulls him back, time and time again, saying all these words he’s always been yearning to hear.
“But that’s not all you are,” Rumi said. ”This is just your demon talking. You have to fight it!”
But Jinu was never a fighter. He was a coward, and god knows how much self-loathing he's accumulated for the last four hundred years—that even if Rumi forgives him for this, he hates himself too much to give himself the same grace.
“That’s not how it works!”
“Yes it is!”
The honmoon trembled at the force emanating from Rumi’s voice. Jinu was just as shocked as she was.
“Listen to yourself,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “Is it working?”
When Rumi couldn’t answer, he continued. “You’re a demon, just like me. All we get to do is live with our pain, our misery.”
Gwi-Ma’s whispering voice once more sounded in his ears.
“That’s all we deserve.”
Before he disappeared, the last time Rumi lifted her face to him, he saw the way her eye had now turned a shade of yellow.
But what struck him the most was that even as he saw his reflection in her eyes in what he thought would be their last, he never saw a demon.
“Well done. Ready to forget it all?”
Red and purple flames danced in the night behind them, casting a sinister reddish glow over the stadium. They stood on the stage of Namsan Tower, watching the crowd in the distance trudge closer and closer, to where Gwi-Ma could suck out their souls.
“Good. I’m ready to feast.”
They stood in a formation, with Jinu at the center, all decked in black hanbok and gat hats.
Something blue appeared in Jinu’s periphery. He didn’t need to glance down to see what it was, even if the soft fur did graze his hand in that familiar manner. Derpy purred, the blue bracelet Jinu had previously thrown away hanging by his teeth.
In the distance were cheers of the crowd, drawing closer and closer, sounding more like a hypnotized incantation.
“Saja! Saja! Saja!”
One final performance to end it all.
Jinu’s eyes zoomed past the crowd of fans that were cheering with hypnotized glossy eyes, zeroing in on the lone figure at the entrance, her demon marks shining amidst the darkness and an eye glowing a shade of gold.
She came.
And she was still as beautiful as ever, even with her marks showing. More so especially, with her marks showing.
Gwi-Ma’s taunting voice, one Jinu had been so familiar with for years, rang through the stadium. The Demon King was deliberately weaponizing all the points he knew were Rumi’s weakness: her inability to save what mattered to her, her marks, the shattered honmoon.
And yet, unlike Jinu, she came back to face everything.
Yes, she agreed. The honmoon was indeed gone.
And it was to make space for a new one.
A melody flowed through the stadium, and it took Jinu a moment to realize it was coming from Rumi’s own lips. She was singing, each note lighting up the marks scattered across her skin like rippling water. She sang about her lies, her patterns, her futile efforts of hiding it, and how she was now reaping the consequences of it all. She sang about the parts she tried so hard to ignore, acknowledging that she should have just embraced them instead of pretending they weren’t there. Maybe, she never needed fixing from the very start.
Her other friends came up on the other side of the platforms. Their voices eventually began to mesh. From behind him, Jinu could feel Gwi-Ma getting more restless.
“Stop this song!”
Jinu didn’t move, too enchanted by the glowing singing siren before him. The rest of the demons had lunged past him and floated to intercept the incoming trio of hunters that were slowly regaining their connection to the crowd of hypnotized people, and from where he stood, Jinu could see glowing orbs of blue emitting from their chests, replacing the reddish hue that had engulfed them earlier. The hunters were gaining power.
Jinu’s eyes never left Rumi. Even now, as she was heading towards the center stage where he and Gwi-Ma stood, there was not a hint of hatred in her.
“Your voices cannot defeat me!”
And then, a blazing pillar of fire shot from Gwi-Ma, heading right towards Rumi. She managed to raise her sword just in time to block it, skidding backward a few meters from the force.
Jinu’s hand twitched. He watched Rumi struggle with a shaking grip as she defended herself. She was getting overpowered, and yet she showed no signs of backing down.
”This is just your demon talking. You have to fight it!”
Oh.
How foolish he’s been.
Rumi was here before him, proving to him that she’s always had it in her to face the impossible. Despite all the voices in her head.
Why did he realize this too late?
Jinu summoned everything in his power and teleported in front of her, blocking the fire from consuming her. He watched as Rumi gasped, reaching out a hand towards him, eyes scanning him, unsure and restless.
Even until now, she still looks at him with so much care. He never once believed his existence was ever worth crying for, yet here she was, shedding tears for his sake. Jinu realized with an ache how fortunate he’s been to have met a soul as beautiful as hers.
“Jinu,” she breathed, “No—”
“I’m sorry for everything,” he finally said.
Rumi shook her head, lips trembling. “No, I wanted to set you free.”
Jinu recalled all the times she’d spent with him, teaching him and reminding him what it felt to be human again. Not just any human, but one with a soul. Jinu never thought he could ever forgive himself, but the thought that Rumi had more than enough heart to do so for the both of them reignited that hope.
“You did.” He smiled. “You gave me my soul back.”
He felt his own essence disintegrating with the fire. But strangely, it did not hurt as much as he thought. All he felt was the sense of freedom that was ready to take him. And seeing her now, realizing that she never hated him even after everything, somewhat makes his ending lighter.
“And now, I give it to you.”
The last thing he ever saw was his reflection in her eyes. And there was no demon.