Chapter Text
It was amazing what a little elbow grease could do. In the months since they’d taken up their new lives as innkeepers, Ed and Stede had transformed their humble shack (abode, Stede insisted) into a tidy, cozy spot that any weary traveler should be delighted to spend a restful night or two in. The retired pirates were so busy making their inn tidy and cozy that they hadn’t really had much time to consider that weary travelers were, in fact, rather thin on the ground in their remote corner of the world.
Oh to be sure, they had had some business. There was the woman who had shown up with a wagon full of essential oils, which absolutely thrilled Stede, whose toiletry selection these days left something to be desired. He had ended up taking her “platinum level starter kit” in lieu of payment of her bill; it was only after she left that he realized the box contained only one kind of scent and that to acquire the others he would have to sign up at least five other sellers and send her their names. And then there was the elderly gentleman, Horace, who appeared on their doorstep one rainy night, hat in hand and soaked to the bone. Over a cup of tea by the fire, he told Ed and Stede about the quest he was on to find his long lost love, whom he hadn’t seen since their dalliance when they were young men. Ed wept like a baby and told him to rest up and then go find his man because it was never too late to find your one true love. At checkout, Ed refused to take any payment, but Horace still fished around in his pockets and produced some loose change and butterscotch candies, as a thank you for their kindness. But that had been it, really, customer-wise. And that was fine. It was. The Revenge stopped by every few weeks to load them up with the supplies necessary to keep them going while they got on their feet.
In addition to cleaning and renovating the inside of the inn, they had also managed to start a little vegetable garden out back. They hoped to be able to wow their guests with the shortest “farm to table” distance in the tri county area. Stede was currently bent over a row of carrots, trying to determine if rabbits had been at them or if the leaves were supposed to look like that. Ed was hanging freshly laundered sheets and towels on the clothesline, when a seagull came swooping in with a fair deal of screeching, tearing the two away from their respective tasks. The gull perched on the clothesline, and Ed gave it the stink eye, practically daring the creature to shit on his fresh linens and just see what happened then.
“Thank you, Buttons,” Stede said, giving a little bow to the seagull as he removed the scroll of parchment from the loop around its leg.
“Babe, d’ya honestly think that’s Buttons?”
“Of course it is, Edward! What other seagull would the crew entrust to carry out our correspondence?”
Ed didn’t have a good answer for this. He knew Zheng used pigeons as messenger birds, and he supposed that if you could train a flying city rat to do that, why not a flying rat of the sea? Still, even though he had witnessed Buttons’s transformation with his own eyes, he was hard-pressed to believe that this specific gull was the former First Mate of The Revenge.
“Shall we go inside and read this over a cup of tea?” Stede asked, shaking Ed from his thoughts.
“Sure. We’re runnin’ low, though, so maybe jus’ half a cuppa for me.”
Stede clicked his tongue in dismay. “Hmm. Well, hopefully Lucius has sent us the details of their next supply drop. Should be any day now!”
They settled side by side at the kitchen table once Stede had brewed two half-cups of tea from their quickly dwindling supply. Ed doctored his with three and a half lumps of sugar and a tiny splash (rather than his usual dollop) of milk. “So then,” Ed said after taking a sip. “What’s the boy got to say?”
Stede unfurled the parchment and perched his reading glasses on the end of his nose. Ed made a sound that couldn’t really be described as anything other than a whimper. Stede peered sternly over the rims of his glasses. “Settle down, Edward. I do actually need these, you know. They’re not just for your…amusement.”
Ed nodded but another whimper escaped as he did so.
“Later, darling. Now, to the business at hand.” He cleared his throat and held the letter between them as he read aloud.
To Mr. “Jeff Goodbody” and Mr. “Thomas Edwards” --
“Well really now, he oughtn’t to keep putting quotation marks around our names! It completely undermines the purpose of having aliases! And after all the effort we put into selecting such good ones too.” Stede shook his head in mild reproach at Lucius’s carelessness but continued reading.
We know that you’re expecting us within the week. However, urgent business requires our presence in New York, which is, as you know, quite far away. We promise this has nothing at all to do with the ungodly noises we hear nightly as we camp out in the living room while the two of you “sleep” in a comfy bed every time we do a supply drop. I mean, it’s not *not* about that, but It really truly is a matter of some urgency that we make this detour. I can’t say anything more now, but please do trust that the two of you will be very interested in the intelligence we are hoping to gather about the BANE of our collective existence (imagine I am tapping the side of my nose rather vigorously and waggling my eyebrows at you. Even you should get this one, Stede.)
“You know, Ed, perhaps I was rather too lenient with my crew, after all. Honestly, what a cheeky little fucker.”
We know this leaves you in a bit of a lurch, supply-wise. Sorry about that. Hopefully by now you’ve got things up and running enough at that “inn” (using that term, like, so loosely) of yours to be turning a bit of profit.
Stede paused again to glance over at the registration book that was gathering cobwebs on their reception desk in the next room.
We’ll be going incommunicado for a bit, but do go ahead and send your wish list back with Buttons and we’ll do our best to fulfill it twice over when we are able to make our way back to these waters again.
Love and forehead kisses,
L & The Crew
“Well,” Stede said, rolling the parchment up and standing to place it in the stove to destroy the evidence, “What do you make of all that, darling?”
“They’ve got a lead on Ricky,” Ed said, staring into his teacup.
“Mmm,” Stede hummed in agreement. “I don’t know how I feel about them chasing it down on their own.”
Ed shrugged. “Suppose they wanna get the intel and then circle back with us. Best we’re not there til it’s actually time for shit to go down. Ya know, gives ‘em a bargainin’ chip if they get into any bother.” He downed the rest of the tea and then ran his finger around the inside of his cup to gather up the remnants of sugar stuck to the bottom.
“Right as always, my love. Leaves us in quite a state, though, no matter how well-intentioned. Our cupboards are getting rather bare.”
“We’ll have to go to the market in town, I guess.”
“With what money, Edward? We haven’t had a guest since Horace!” Stede shook their “savings jar” in Ed’s direction, which at the moment contained a few tuppence and one last butterscotch candy, which was covered in lint.
“We’ll figure it out, love.”
Stede sighed. “I’m going to get back to the garden, I think. Hopefully something’s starting to sprout so we won’t starve.” He walked past Ed and gave him a peck on the cheek. “What’ll you do with the rest of the afternoon?”
“I’ll write out the list to send back with Buttons.” Stede couldn’t miss the dramatic air quotes Ed used just then and rolled his eyes fondly. “Then I’ve gotta get all the linens changed.”
“Wonderful. See you in a bit, darling.”
***
Later that night, after a rather meager dinner followed by a shared bath that did manage to satiate a completely different kind of appetite, Ed and Stede lay next to each other in bed, both on their backs, staring at the ceiling.
Ed sighed.
Stede sighed.
“Maybe we could beef up our advertising efforts for the inn.”
Ed turned on his side to look at Stede. “How?”
Stede shrugged. “I could make up some flyers to post in town. Maybe offer a discounted rate.”
Ed furrowed his brow. “If it’s money we’re after, not sure slashin’ our rates is the way to go, mate.”
Stede stiffened a bit. He was used to “babe” and “love” these days. Whenever Ed lobbed a “mate” in his direction, he felt a bit off kilter, like they weren’t fully connecting.
“Anything coming in is better than nothing, mate .”
“‘m just sayin’, we offer a quality service here. Only the mildest interrogation at check-in to make sure you’re not a privateer or Navy man. Fresh flowers on the nightstand. Clean linens, changed daily!”
“Yes, but no one is currently sleeping in them, Edward!”
Ed rolled away onto his back again, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
“I’m sorry,” Stede whispered. Now he turned on his side to face Ed. “I just thought we’d be a bit more self-sufficient by now. That letter from Lucius has me rattled. Bad enough they’re chasing after Ricky without us, but now we’re really in dire straits here without their supply drop.”
Stede reached for Ed’s hand and it was willingly given with a gentle squeeze. “I know leaving my wealth behind was the right thing for Mary and the kids. But it was perhaps a bit shortsighted of me not to have taken anything.” Stede sighed.
“This isn’t all on you, babe.” Ed cleared his throat and turned back on his side to face Stede, their hands clasped between them. “I might…uh. I might have a stash we can dip into.”
Stede’s eyes widened. “Ed, what are you talking about?”
“So the thing is, this was one of my old stompin’ grounds when I was gettin’ started. ‘s how I knew about this place. And, uh, I may have left some loot behind when I was last here.”
“And you’re just now telling me this?!”
“Well, um, didn’t seem like it was worth the trouble of trackin’ it down so long as the crew could help us out. But. Yeah, think it could tide us over for a bit.”
Stede didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, Ed seemed to be offering up a solution to their financial woes on a silver platter (likely literally, considering Ed’s eye for beautiful shiny objects rivaled Stede’s own). On the other, he couldn’t help but feel a bit miffed that they had been struggling when they didn't need to. Stede had gladly--willingly, wholeheartedly--given up many of his creature comforts and the trappings of his old life to be with Ed. But surely he wasn’t wrong to feel a bit hurt that Ed had been holding out on him. Still, Stede was hesitant to put a voice to any of those feelings just now. If Ed had a solution to their troubles, he would just focus on that. Surely that was the best way forward. He gave Ed’s hand another squeeze and then released it to snuggle down under the covers. “Alright, darling. I suppose in the morning we should make a plan for how to recover this stash of yours.”
Ed turned to blow out the candle that was burning low on his bedside table. “Yup. Sounds good,” he said as he too wriggled under the covers.
And there they lay for quite some time, a delicate tension between them as they each waited for sleep to claim them.
***
The next morning, Stede wandered into the kitchen, yawning and stretching. He found Ed sitting at the kitchen table, already dressed in his linen breeches and soft white shirt, hunched over a bit of parchment.
“Good morning, darling. You’re up and at ‘em today,” Stede said, pressing a kiss to the top of Ed’s head as he draped himself over his shoulders. He looked down at the table to see what Ed was working on. “Oh! What’s this?”
Ed lifted his head and put the quill back in the inkpot, shaking out his hand he’d been drawing with. “Jus’ retracin’ my steps, so to speak. If we’re gonna go lookin’ for my stash, we don’t wanna be wanderin’ around aimlessly.”
“Look at you, making a treasure map from memory! Quite impressive!”
“Not a treasure map,” Ed grumbled.
“Mkay. But, ah, what’s at the end of this…diagram?”
“Gold. Jewels. I dunno, I buried it a long time ago.”
“You what?”
“Hid it. I hid it. A long time ago.”
“And, ah, where did you hide it?”
“I placed it slightly below sea level and then covered it loosely with soil.”
“Right. So. We’ll follow this map.”
“Yeah.”
“And at the end we’ll find some of your…riches.”
“Yeah.”
“Treasure, one might say.”
“Yeah. No, wait. Dickfuck, ’s not a treasure map.”
“Sure, darling.”
“’s a guide to riches. That are… Not plainly visible.”
Stede took the map in his hands and studied it. “What’s this?” he asked, pointing to a spot on the parchment.
“It’s an X. So we know where to dig. I mean look! Where to look!”
“And what’s this next to the X?” Ed leaned in to see what Stede was pointing at.
“That’s some, uh, greenery. Yeah. Jus’ a bit of standard greenery.”
“Edward, that is a tree!”
“Could be. Could be a tree.” Ed shrugged.
“Edward Teach, you buried treasure at the base of a tree!”
Stede dropped the map back on the table and stomped out of the kitchen.
“Come on, Stede, mate, where ya goin’?”
“To get changed, mate ! Apparently we’re having a day!” If the bedroom door closed with a bit more force than necessary, well, that just couldn’t be helped.
***
Ed knocked on the door to the bedroom a short while later, cup of tea and a couple biscuits in hand. Stede accepted the peace offering with gratitude and more than a few kisses. Ed eventually pulled away, telling Stede to pick a shirt already or they’d never make it out the front door. Once Stede was dressed, they each packed a bag with a skein of water, dividing between them the last of their bread, cheese, and cured meat. When Ed wasn’t looking, Stede snuck their last jar of marmalade in his bag as well, figuring it would make for a nice treat either to celebrate finding Ed’s stash, or to drown their sorrows if they didn’t.
“Ready?” Stede asked as they stood on the porch, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.
“Yup, just gotta lock up.” Ed pulled his key ring off his belt. They only had the one door that locked, but Ed had had several copies of the key made so that he could achieve his desired level of “jangling” when he walked around the inn.
“All set.”
“Right then! Lead the way, darling!”
***
With so much of their time dedicated to fixing up their inn, they hadn’t really explored much of the area beyond their own property. They had only ever headed east into town on a few rare occasions when they felt a touch of cabin fever setting in. Today, Ed had them heading west, following a path on a ridge that stuck up along the coastline.
“How long will it take, do you think?” Stede asked after they had been walking for a bit.
“Few hours, I would say,” Ed replied, checking the map. “Oh, left over there. Coastline gets a bit fucky up ahead so we’ll have to cut through the forest over that way before we head back towards the water.”
The naturalist in Stede came out in full force during their detour through the woods.
“Oh! Look at this one! Heliconia psittacorum, or the parakeet flower. Now that is an impressive bloom!” He had paused to admire yet another plant in their path.
“Mate, come on. We’ve got miles to cover yet.”
Stede snapped his head up from where he was bent over the plant and looked at Ed with narrowed eyes. “Sorry, mate . On we go.” He brushed past Ed and kept walking.
“Why d’ya do that?” Ed asked, quickening his pace to catch up with him.
“I’m just admiring the surroundings, Ed.”
“No, not that. Why d’ya say ‘mate’ like that? Like you’re pissed or somethin’? Did it last night and this mornin’, too.”
Stede folded his arms across his chest and continued walking, looking everywhere but at Ed. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Stede, come on. Somethin’s buggin’ ya.” He stopped them both in their tracks, putting his hands on Stede’s shoulders to turn him so they were facing each other. “Tell me.”
Stede lifted his eyes to meet his gaze and saw that Ed was deploying the softest, widest version of his beautiful brown eyes at him. Unfair. Stede sighed. “I feel silly. But it just seems that you only ever call me ‘mate’ when you’re annoyed or irritated. So, I suppose I’m just matching your energy.”
“What?” Ed furrowed his brow, confused.
“I just mean, you usually call me ‘babe’ or ‘love’ these days. So ‘mate’ feels like…I don’t know, I can’t really explain it.”
Ed was quiet for a moment, processing what Stede had just told him. “I honestly don’t mean anythin’ by it. You are my mate. In every way. I mean, you’re also my babe, my love. But you were my mate first. So I guess if maybe I’m sayin’ it when I’m grumpy or we’re in a snit, it’s because you’re still my mate. Even then. Always.”
“Oh Edward,” Stede’s lip quivered and he threw his arms around Ed, practically knocking him off his feet. “That’s the loveliest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Ed laughed as he squeezed Stede back. “‘s jus’ the truth, love.” He pulled Stede in for a kiss. They broke apart after a few moments and rested their foreheads together.
“I should have just said something,” Stede said. “I’m still getting used to being with someone who actually wants to hear what I’m thinking.”
“I wanna hear it all, babe. Every single one of your thoughts, no matter how silly you might think they are.” He booped Stede’s nose.
“Well right now I’m thinking about exactly what I’d like to do to you when we get home later,” he said with a wicked grin. “Shall I tell you about that?”
Ed took Stede’s hand in his as they continued walking. “Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”
***
They continued walking into the afternoon, stopping briefly in a sun-dappled clearing to have a bit of lunch. Ed’s map eventually directed them back towards the grassy ridge that ran along the coastline.
He held his hand up to his forehead against the sun’s rays beating down on them and scanned the area.
“There!” he cried. He brought his hand down and pointed to a tree standing alone a little ways ahead of them.
They ran towards the tree, holding hands.
“Now what?” asked Stede, looking around.
“Now we, uh, dig,” Ed said, somewhat sheepishly. He spotted a fallen log nearby and set his bag on it. Stede followed him and did the same. Ed dug around in his bag and produced a small hand trowel they used for planting in the garden at the inn. It was slow work with such a small tool, but they took turns to make it more bearable. Stede eventually felt the trowel make contact with something solid while Ed was taking a water break on the fallen log. Stede brushed the dirt away and unearthed a small square chest, about two feet on all sides.
“Oh dear,” he said.
“What’s wrong?” Ed asked, jogging over from the log.
“There’s a lock, Ed! I don’t suppose you have the key?”
Ed scrubbed his face with his hand and turned to face the coast. “Fuuuuuuck!” Ed screamed to the sky. He turned back to look at Stede, who was sitting on his knees, crouched over the chest, shoulders slumped. Ed’s mind flashed to an image of Stede in that exact same position on their last treasure hunt, holding the burned scraps of the map, thinking the day was ruined. Not again. Not on Ed’s watch.
“Stand back, love.” Stede turned to see Ed wielding a massive rock raised over his head.
“Ed what are you doing?!” he cried as he scrambled out of the way. Ed brought the rock down on the lock repeatedly. When that didn’t work, he stomped down on it with his boot over and over.
“Ed, darling, take a break,” Stede whispered softly, putting his hand on Ed’s shoulder. Ed was panting as Stede led him back over to sit on the fallen log. They sat in silence for a bit, listening to the waves below and the cry of seabirds overhead. All of a sudden, Stede sat straight up and began rifling through his pack.
“Watcha lookin’ for, babe?”
“I’ve got an idea! If I can just find--aha!” His face broke into a wide grin as he closed his hand around something at the bottom of his bag. He produced a small tin and rattled it at Ed. He opened it to reveal--
“Hairpins?” Ed knitted his brow in confusion. “What’re ya gonna do with those? Follow up question, why do you even have those?”
“Oh, it’s silly--” He stopped himself when Ed raised an eyebrow, remembering what they had talked about earlier. Ed didn’t think Stede’s ideas were silly; he wanted to hear them. Stede stood up and gestured for Ed to follow him back over to the chest. “Right, well, I have them because I asked Lucius to find me some. Your hair always looks so lovely when it’s put up and I thought it would be fun to experiment with different styles.”
“And ya thought we’d do that out here?”
“No, of course not,” Stede chuckled as he knelt down next to the chest. “I just never fully unpacked this bag from our last visit from the crew. It’s just a lucky thing I have them, really.” Ed watched as Stede began to push one of the hairpins into the lock.
“You’re fuckin’ brilliant, love!” Ed knelt down beside him as Stede fiddled with the pin in the lock.
“Not so sure about that,” Stede grunted. “Still doesn’t want to seem to give.”
“Gimme one of those,” Ed said excitedly, holding out his hand. Stede handed him another hairpin. Ed slid that one alongside Stede’s and together the two pushed and pulled the pins in various directions until…
CLICK.