Chapter Text
KAJ were sound checking on the small stage at Norrvalla in Vörå. A stage they had played on so many times before, including their first gig ever. It was crazy to think about how young they had been back then. Just teenagers with bad hairstyles and varying levels of stage fright. It had been sixteen years ago, and now they were back once again, as seasoned performers, fresh off the successful Sauna Tour, having played sold out shows on some of Finland’s and Sweden’s biggest outdoor stages. The past year had been a whirlwind. The unexpected win at Melodifestivalen, followed by a fourth place at Eurovision, which they couldn’t be prouder of, had opened up so many doors and given them an audience bigger than they could ever have dreamt of.
Being back home in Vörå now was special. This town, where people had known them since they were kids, had proudly followed and supported them on every step of their journey. Tonight’s gig was just a small one, not part of the original plan for the summer. But it was something they wanted to do. To mark the end of the summer by coming back home and playing in front of the people who had been there from the very beginning.
Axel threw the strap on his bass over his head, Kevin tried a couple of chords on his guitar, and Jakob adjusted the microphone stand to the right height. The sound technician gave them a thumbs up and they went into the first verse of Heimani i skick, a song they could probably play in their sleep at this point.
They had just started the chorus when the door to the building slammed open and in stepped three familiar men, followed by a scent of alcohol, gasoline and cigarette smoke. Tommy walked first, a beer in one hand and a packet of snus in the other. After him came Määnin, sunglasses on despite being indoors. And last came Freppa, with a guitar on his back and sipping on a Trip juice. They were all dressed from head to toe in jeans. Jakob immediately stopped singing and Axel and Kevin glanced at each other.
”Look who it is, fyrbanna. The famous homogruppen”, Tommy said, looking up at them.
”Hello to you too Tommy,” Jakob said. ”Long time no see.”
”Shut up and get off our stage. This is Vörjeans territory.” The three jeans-clad men walked across the floor and up the small steps to the stage.
”I didn’t know you guys were still making music,” Jakob said once the groups were standing face to face.
”Last I heard you were dealing with some other issues,” Axel added and glanced over at Määnin who just stared back.
”Of course we are making music. Vörjeans: The Revival Tour starts right here tonight. And you three are not invited,” Tommy said.
”There must be some misunderstanding then since we are booked for tonight too,” Axel said. ”But I’m sure we can figure something out, maybe we can both play.” Tommy just stared at him as if that was the most audacious proposal he had ever heard.
”Not a chance, why the hell would we play with losers like you? People are gonna be expecting real music and not some kids' radio pop”.
”Well we were invited to do a gig here tonight,” Kevin started but was interrupted by Tommy.
”You clowns think you can just show up here and do whatever you want now, don’t you? Won some gay-ass trashfestivalen in Sweden and now everyone adores you,” he said the last part with a condescending voice and then glanced towards Määnin who smirked and moved the cigarette from his lips.
”Always knew you were losers, but I didn’t think you’d sink as low as Melodifestivalen. Pathetic how mainstream you guys have become,” Määnin said before throwing the cigarette on the floor and putting it out with his foot.
Kevin, Axel and Jakob looked at each other, unsure of what to do. They wanted to enjoy the one evening they had back at home and were really not in the mood to argue. But before they could say anything, Tommy started again.
”And don’t even get me started on that fuck-ass sauna song. Can’t even go to the gas station without it being forced upon you. Gives me a fucking nosebleed.”
”I think it’s kinda catchy,” Freppa spoke for the first time since they had arrived. Kevin gave him a small smile.
”Shut up Freppa, no one asked you! Besides, you losers have no chance against us in the sauna anyways. No one in Vörå can stay longer than Määnin in the sauna. And especially not some gay ass homos.”
”You throw around that word a bit much Tommy. You know internalised homophobia isn’t a good look,” Jakob said and smirked at Tommy who turned red and looked furious.
”Shut the fuck up! You know nothing about me!” He took two steps forward and gave Jakob a hard shove. Jakob stumbled backwards but Kevin reached out just in time to steady him. Axel had moved so he was standing right in front of Tommy.
”I’d be real careful if I were you,” he said coldly, staring Tommy dead in the eyes.
”You wanna fight?” Määnin had stepped forwards now and was cracking his knuckles.
”Come on guys, we’re all adults and should resolve this as such,” Kevin said, still with a hand on Jakob’s shoulder. ”There’s gonna be a lot of people here tonight, and neither of us wants to disappoint the audience. Let’s just share the stage tonight?”
Tommy looked at him, carefully considering the proposal. He threw a glance at Määnin and seemed satisfied with the small, barely visible nod he got.
”Fine. I guess we’re both playing tonight. But you play first. We’re no damn opening act.”
”Works for us,” Axel said, with Jakob and Kevin nodding. ”Will you let us finish our sound check now?”
Tommy looked like he wanted to say something more but when Määnin turned and headed towards the door, Tommy quickly followed him. Freppa hung back a couple of seconds.
”Congrats though, for winning Melodifestivalen I mean, and everything else,” he said once Tommy was out of earshot.
”Freppa!” Tommy’s voice called. ”Hurry up fyrbanna!” Jakob smiled and mouthed a ’thanks’, and Axel gave him a polite nod as Freppa hurried after his bandmates out. Tommy threw up a middle finger over his shoulder as some sort of goodbye gesture as he walked out.
Once KAJ was alone on stage again, Kevin shook his head and sighed.
”Those guys are insane. You’d think they would’ve grown up a bit by now, but clearly not.”
”Let’s run through Tech Support and then be done with it,” Axel said. ”I could really do with something to drink before the gig.” The others agreed and they shared a small laugh at the absurdity of what had just happened.
~
As KAJ wrapped up their soundcheck, finally satisfied with everything, Vörjeans were still hanging about. They had sat down in some sofa just outside the main hall of the building. Määnin had a cigarette in his hand and Freppa was sipping on another Trip juice. Tommy was still struggling to let the situation go though.
”I can’t believe they’re coming back here and taking over our gig, our town, thinking they are some superstars who can do whatever the fuck they want.”
”Why the fuck do you care so much? Are you jealous?” Määnin asked with a smirk.
”I’m not jealous! They are pathetic losers!” It got quiet for a few seconds before Freppa spoke.
”It’s kinda cool though, that they actually won.”
”Cool? Freppa have you lost your goddamn mind? There is nothing cool about singing a stupid song about saunas,” Tommy looked genuinely upset.
”Freppa has a point though,” Määnin said calmly. ”They do their own thing, despite what people think. You gotta respect that. And people seem to like them.” Tommy looked at him, opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again and turned his attention back to the empty can he was fidgeting with.
~
A couple hours later, the queue outside the building had finally been let inside. Every last seat was filled, and people were even standing along the back wall. The front rows were a mixture of KAJ merch and denim. Some people had even opted for a combination of the two.
KAJ took the stage first. The audience cheered and applauded as Kevin, Axel and Jakob entered, and the familiar intro of Kom ti byin started playing. The three of them were just as in sync as expected for a group that had been playing together for over sixteen years and been friends for even longer. The harmonies on Heimani i skick were perfect. They nailed the dance steps on Karar i arbeit. And the audience loved shouting hey during Dågär åt böndrin. The boys were thriving on stage, enjoying every moment of performing for their hometown once again.
Then suddenly, just as they hit the final chords of Kaffitår, the stage lights flickered, and the speakers crackled slightly. Then came the sound of an electric guitar. KAJ knew exactly what was happening, even before they could see the three jeans-clad figures step up on the stage. Their set was being hijacked.
”Good evening Vörå!” Tommy’s voice came through a microphone. ”We are Vörjeans and we’re here to give you some real music now fyrbanna!” Tommy counted them in and they launched straight into Born to Börn. The audience showed a mixture of reactions but mainly confusion.
”What the hell do they think they’re doing?” Axel said so only Kevin and Jakob heard him. They were standing on one side of the stage, annoyed at being interrupted. Kevin tried to get the attention of the stage manager, but without success.
”Grab your instruments,” Jakob suddenly said. ”We’re not gonna let them push us over like this.” Axel and Kevin quickly caught on and as soon as the second chorus ended on Born to Börn, KAJ stepped forwards and launched into their newest song, Mosquito. They took over the stage in a way that gave Vörjeans no choice but to stop and take a step back.
”Oh my god they’re doing mashups!” Someone in the audience shouted.
”It’s like a rap battle! This is incredible!”
But Vörjeans were not that easily defeated. They regrouped and before Kevin could shout Perkele, they once again stepped forward, this time playing the intro to Grillin. It was KAJ’s turn to regroup and try to come up with something on the spot.
”Jakob! The melodica!” Axel shouted. ”We’ve got songs about food too.” Jakob quickly grabbed his melodica from just off the stage, and once they thought Vörjeans had been given enough time, they took over, this time with Taco Hej.
The audience loved what they were seeing. Two of Vörå’s biggest bands playing together, despite the fact that they couldn’t be more different. At least if you ignored the striking resemblance between certain members, which multiple people in the audience had pointed out. But while the audience assumed this was all a planned and rehearsed part of the concert, the two bands on stage were taking it deadly serious, desperately trying to think of their next move. Because letting the others play for too long would be the same as forfeiting, something neither of them were willing to do, competitive as they were.
Vörjeans interrupted Taco Hej with Vörådagan. A song that really got the audience going. KAJ continued to build on the mood set by letting Kevin shine in Dansgolv. At that point, Vörjeans seemed to struggle with finding the right song to play next. Eventually they seemed to settle on Volvoräägör, but Kevin had gotten all the way to the second chorus before they stepped in.
KAJ was also struggling with finding the right song to play now. Sure, they had a lot of songs, but coming up with the right one under pressure and playing it out of nowhere was still not easy.
”What do we do now?” Jakob asked.
”Just keep going. They will run out of songs before we do,” Kevin said. They agreed that it was time for an old classic and stepped in front of Vörjeans once again.
”This was a shit idea Tommy,” Määnin said. ”They have way more songs than we do. How do they have so many songs and yet none of them are good?”
While they argued about what to do next, KAJ had gotten through most of Jåo Nåo E Ja Jåo YOLO Ja Nåo. The audience seemed to enjoy whatever it was they were witnessing. Eventually though, Vörjeans seemed to have settled on Cadillac and stepped in. As they stepped aside, Axel thought about how they had almost gotten through the entire song before being interrupted.
”They’re out of songs, let’s bring this home now,” he said. Jakob and Kevin knew exactly what he meant.
Yksi Kaksi Kolme Sauna. KAJ took over the stage again. This time with the song everyone knew and had been waiting for. The audience were standing up, dancing, singing along. During the second verse, Jakob looked over his shoulder towards Vörjeans. Tommy looked angry as Määnin put down his bass. He caught the eye of Freppa who was nodding along to the music. Jakob turned back to his bandmates. It seemed like they had won. When they entered the final chorus, there was no doubt about it. Vörjeans had exited the stage in defeat, and left were KAJ, now jumping up and down in rhythm with the music. They fed off the ecstatic energy from the audience, and when they hit the final pose, the applause rained over them.
”Thank you Vörå, for everything! You’ve been amazing!”
The standing ovation kept going for several minutes before they could finally step off the stage, still high on adrenaline. As they stood there, just off the stage, Vörjeans appeared again.
”Our turn now!” Tommy said as they passed.
”Hey wait!” Axel called. Tommy raised his eyebrows.
”Yeah?”
”That little stunt you just pulled, or sabotage might be a better word. Well, the audience seemed to love it,” he continued. ”So I guess we should thank you.” Tommy looked at him like he was stupid.
”Well what are you waiting for? The stage is yours, bring it home,” Jakob said. Tommy just shook his head but Määnin gave them a slight nod before stepping on stage.
And Vörjeans brought the heat just as much as KAJ had done. The audience loved them and their raw, unapologetic energy. Many of their old songs were cult-classics in Vörå, and they even played a couple of new songs from their upcoming album. Because Vörjeans: The Revival was most definitely happening. As Tommy pointed out, they could not let the world think sauna-pop was the best Vörå had to offer.
”And actually, if Vörjeans took part in Eurovision, not that we ever would, but if we did, we would win,” Tommy said from the stage. ”Not finish in fourth place like some flops.”
KAJ, who were watching from the side of the stage, just rolled their eyes and laughed at the comment.
~
It was late at night when the concert ended. The last few people were exiting the building as the organisers started putting away chairs and wrapping up cables. Backstage, the two bands were still hanging about. Word had reached KAJ that there was a sauna backstage, and as the sauna ambassadors they had become, they obviously couldn’t pass on that offer. Swimming trunks had become an essential part in their gig bags now.
”You guys are welcome to join us if you want to,” Kevin said and nodded towards the sauna as they walked past Vörjeans, sat on a bench with beers, or a Trip juice, in their hands.
”Join you? In the sauna? Hell no.” Tommy said as if the question in itself had been an insult. ”Just because we chose not to beat you up today, doesn’t mean we’re best friends now.”
”Alright, it was just an offer,” Axel said.
”And besides,” Tommy continued. ”Määnin’s sauna is much better anyways, so we’re gonna have a sauna there, naked, like real men. Freppa you drop us off right?” Freppa nodded.
”So just you two?” Jakob raised his eyebrows and nodded towards Tommy and Määnin.
”Do you have a problem with that?” Tommy asked.
”Not at all, not at all.” Jakob suppressed a giggle. He knew better than to continue. With the way Määnin was staring at him, he knew he’d be in the wall if he dared utter another word.
”Let’s go then,” Kevin said, sensing the rising tension in the room. ”It was fun seeing you guys again.”
”And good luck with the new album and tour,” Axel added as they continued towards the sauna. Vörjeans left soon thereafter. Whether it was because they were out of beers, or whether Määnin’s sauna was just a bit too enticing, was left unsaid.