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The sun is peeking through the blinds they never bother to close when they tumble into bed late at night.
Theo wakes up to it. The layered sunlight casting strange shadows in a dorm room that's not really his own, but feels more like home than any other place ever could. The blankets have all but fallen off the bed, a light breeze grazing his bare skin.
There's a soft, nearly careful touch on his back. Fingertips trailing down his spine, over the tattoo he knows he has there, even though he can only ever see it in pictures.
He could recognize Liam's touch anywhere. Except, where normally his gentle hands hold him without fear, now he touches him with something akin to wonder. Smooth patterns trailing over the sword. The wings. The fall.
It's not Liam's favorite tattoo, he knows this. After Theo told him about why he got it, Liam got sad and quiet and murmured: "Why would you ever want to be reminded of that?" And the truth is, Theo doesn't. But he knows forgetting is more dangerous than anything.
The tattoo helped him live with the choices he made in the past. Helped him see more clearly.
His choices became a part of him, and they always will be. But that doesn't mean he has to fear the past or hide from who he once was. It's a reminder, like most his tattoos are. Some bad, some good. Some neutral. Looking at them hurts less than looking at his scars, inside and out.
The fall is one of his favorite tattoos now. Greek myths have always been a point of interest for him and the artist did an incredible job on it. He can view it with a kind of neutrality he didn't know he could possess. The eternal reminder painted on his skin doesn't look as bad in the light as it used to.
The past is the past. He carries it with him, but doesn't linger.
And now Liam traces it like he's trying to read past the lines of ink. Read into the splotches of skin between the strokes, figure him out in a way only he can, because he had chosen to let Liam in. Told him about the meanings and about all his thoughts. There's no walls between the two of them.
Or maybe it's just a subconscious thing. Liam always did like having his hands on Theo any way he could. And the artworks do have an eyecatching quality even he can't ignore.
He stays quiet. Lets Liam do as he pleases. He can pretend to be asleep, if it means he'll have Liam's hands on him longer. Unobserved and natural.
But Liam has always known him too well. His hand disappears from his back, curling around his left elbow. Right over the empty spiderweb that sits there. He presses his lips to the back of Theo's neck, another small tattoo, one he got some time after he started dating Liam. A tiny heart in his boyfriend's handwriting.
"Good morning," Liam says, more breath than words.
Theo groans as he turns to face him.
It's the weekend, he thinks. If it wasn't he would have awoken to an alarm and Liam passed out and drooling against his back. He'd been planning to do some homework, get ahead in his classes, but he supposes that can wait.
Liam's eyes are clouded with sleep. Red lines from where the pillow must have dug in decorate his face. His hair is a tangled mess, but his smile is real. A small, almost secretive smile that's only ever directed at Theo.
"Good morning," Theo replies, leaning forward to peck his lips. He lets the kiss be short. The last thing he wants is to ruin this moment between them with his morning breath. "What're you doing?"
"Dunno," Liam says, even as he reaches out to poke the spider on his arm. "They're cool. I don't think I've ever properly paid attention to them before."
The words are soft. Theo has long ago learned how to read between Liam's lines. Find the things he's saying without ever speaking those exact words.
Theo turns to his back. "Is that better?" he asks. It won't give Liam access to all his tattoos, but most of them are in plain sight now. The ones on his arms, his hips, his ribs and chest.
Smiling, Liam props himself up on his elbow. He places a hand over the barbed wire that's coiled around Theo's arm first, rubbing his thumb over the ink like he's wondering if it'll poke him, if he's not careful. His smile slowly fades, a look of concentration taking over his features.
He takes his time with it. Gentle touches and soft caresses as his hand slides lower, then back up. Over his ribcage, his chest, his hips. Sometimes he'll pause for a long moment, like he's trying to figure something out.
Trying to recall the meaning, maybe. Or seeing how the lines wind around each other to create the tattoo as it sits before him. Liam really is more thoughtful than he gives himself credit for, Theo has known it for a while now.
It's easy to just lay there and watch Liam's face change as his eyes dart across his body. He lets his eyes rest on the soft furrow between his brows. Lets his body memorize the way Liam touches it. Never careful, never afraid, but gentle and kind.
It's clear as day Theo had a longer, tougher life than most people. But when Liam looks at him, tattoos and scars alike, he doesn't seem to be looking for that damaged boy. He seems to be looking for Theo as he is now.
The thought of Liam wanting to understand him, everything that makes him Theo is almost unbearable. Like he's digging a knife into his heart and twisting. Because he doesn't know how a boy that's as damaged as him could ever be loved by someone as pure as Liam.
"I like this one," Liam says as he pauses at the swallows on his side, his hand guiding their path towards Theo's chest. "They're so happy and free."
Liam's words get carried away with the breeze, through the open window, along winding paths into a forest where a young Theo stands. A Theo that's not sure if he'll ever be happy again.
It's such a simple thing to say. And the morning light illuminates the truth even when it doesn't have to. Theo loves him. Theo merely hums, choked up by Liam's words and the feeling that rises towards his chest, along with the birds. Free and happy.
Liam continues. He slides his finger over the falling star on his collarbone a couple times. He cups a hand over his hip, hiding the raven for a moment. He presses the heart on his chest.
There's only one tattoo he'd skirted around. The first one Theo had ever gotten for Liam. The one that sits on his chest, a constant reminder of the boy that picked him, when everybody else thought he was done for.
It's not a promise. Like most of the others, it's a piece of the part he carries with him. Liam trusting him, caring for him. Seeing him as a person instead of the messed up sack of meat he'd believed he was.
A nine, Liam's lacrosse number, decorated with a star. That's the tattoo he's most proud of. Whenever he worries, his hand comes up and touches it, and even through his shirt it brings him comfort, like it radiates warmth in the same way Liam does.
As much as it reminds him of Liam's trust. It also reminds him that there's always better times to come, even when he's going through a rough patch. There's always people that will believe in him, even when he's given up on himself. And they may come unexpectedly, but they will come. Just as Liam had.
"This is my favorite," Liam tells him, tracing the number with his pointer finger once, before pressing a kiss to it.
Theo smiles, can't help but wrap his arms around Liam now, pulling him into a tight hug. "Mine too."