Work Text:
A side effect Phil was never warned about when moving out of his childhood home was the loneliness that would follow.
Of course he was ecstatic to live in his own place, his own apartment in the same city as his boyfriend. But there would always be a part of him that longed for home home, for Kath’s mince pies and his brother’s loud laugh. His Dad’s art, forever at his fingertips.
He was very aware that Dan felt very differently; Wokingham had certainly not been kind to him. Phil knew that what Dan had disclosed to him; that the bullying, the family tension really only scratched the surface.
But, since the moment his eyes focused on Dan in that train station he knew. He knew that this (whatever the hell it was) was worth any pain, any homesickness, any fear. He didn't, couldn't know why yet but this was something, everything even.
He knew he would give Dan the world, do anything to see a smile on the brown haired boy's face.
As if Dan could read his thoughts, Phil felt his phone buzz loudly against his leg.
With a worried feeling he checked his messages.
dan: wtf who chooses law?
theres no way i can do this
phil: im coming over
Before Dan could even think to object Phil was already halfway out the door. He grabbed his keys, phone, kinder egg, lion(s, and wallet (all of the essentials to calm down a boyfriend).
As Phil made his way to the lift he fished around in his pocket for his tangled earbuds. Plugging them in while still tangled was something Dan had teased him about in the past, but he felt somehow connected to that ball of wires. He opened pressed play on the first song he could find. Ukulele strums filled his ears as the first lyrics of You and I started
Don't you worry, there my honey
We might not have any money
But we've got our love to pay the bills
Phil found himself smiling in spite of himself, smiling all the way down the apartment building. Passing through floor after floor of people, their lives connected to his through chance and circumstance.
Humming to the empty elevator, he remembered the first time he truly noticed Dan. It was on a skype call, the kind of call that can only really happen late at night. The steady rise of the moon outside of his window seemed to mirror his feelings. He felt himself getting looser and looser as he listened to the other boy talk in circles around them both. Phil couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him. Swoopy brown hair, deep brown eyes; both full and fearful, the dimples, visible even through one of the grainiest webcams known to man.
He looked up, finding he had already absentmindedly reached his stop. Phil knew Dan had come so far since that night. He didn’t verbalize it to the younger man often but Phil had thought about their future, of what they could be, would be. In Phil’s imagination they were free. Free of the closet, free of stressful families, they would provide for each other and themselves. Bound not only by choice, but by love, a mortgage, a dog, a life.
Phil thought of the house they would one day have. A nice couch? was a must, he thought as he paid his bus fare and shuffled into an open seat. The light from his cellphone blinked with importance
dan: you don’t really have to come bub just one of those nights ig
phil: i hope you realize theres nothing i would rather be doing right now !!!!!
(buffy was off this week)
see you in 20 min rat
“Fuck” muttered Phil, realizing his phone was quickly losing battery.
The man across from him chuckled at this, catching Phil off guard.
“Is it someone special?” asked the man.
He was older, with balding hair, kind eyes and a sweater that seemed to be stolen from the set of Wallace and Gromit.
"Maybe”, Phil replied with a small smile
“I remember when I first met my Dennis. It was back in the war, you see. The second I met him I knew I would never want to talk to anyone more” the man trailed off as if waiting for Phil’s reaction.
“I.. oh I get that” he said, glancing towards his pocket
“I’m on the way to see mine actually… My… Dan”
“I’m Peter” he replied, extending his hand in greeting
“Phil”
“Phil! Oh what a lovely name, I hope I’m not taking your time”
“For the next 19 minutes" Phil smiled, checking his non existent watch
“I’m all ears”
“Well, Phil you see, I met him, my dear Dennis, when we were both university students. He was a chemist, and I was going for a teaching degree. If anyone had found out about us we both would have been expelled. The sneaking around made things fun at first but the closer we grew the harder it was. We were both scared, scared to see, scared to be seen. Before I knew it he was off, fighting to keep us safe, to help people. We lost touch after a year or so sadly” Peter trailed off slightly.
Phil found himself (literally) on the edge of his seat. He had to know more. These men, Peter and Dennis, were so similar to him and Dan.
In another life they would have been him and Dan.
Even though he hadn't come out to another person in months, even though this could end horribly; Phil knew this was important, he had to know what happened, however crushing or sad it might be.
Shaking the black fringe out of his eyes, he leaned in closer to Peter, “What happened to him?”
Peter grinned “We were lucky, he made it back in one piece and I made a home for myself in London, teaching at a Grammar School. We ran into each other in a pub about 10 years later. Never parted sides again, never really wanted to. Fate knows when to play her cards right”
With an expert wink, Peter pulled out a pocket watch
“Right about now he’ll be starting to play his piano. He plays for our dog everyday.”
“But Phil, this is the part you should remember. Never stop loving him, never never stop. Even if separated, however that may be, that love will bring you back. In those 10 years we were apart. I never stopped loving Dennis, not even when I hated myself for it, or when I thought it must be ridiculous, or when it hurt like hell. That is what you must do for your Dan”
Phil nodded
“He’s been through a lot, Dan. But he’s the best person I know, he has the loudest laugh, and the most annoying quirks and I can’t believe he doesn’t know how to make pasta but oh my god” Phil continued, quite teary at this point, “I’ve never met anyone like him, I don’t think I ever will”
Peter handed Phil a tissue
“My dear boy, I know. Believe me I know”
The two men sat in silence for a bit. The windows of the bus, smudged as ever, showed an ever changing picture as trees blew past, cars drove by, people went about their days.
It seemed to remind Phil of a bulletin board, the red string looping and catching against the ever multiplying thumbtacks; never able to be fully contained.
The bus skidded to a halt, nearly hitting a bin.
Peter stood up.
“Well, Philip, this is my stop. But before I go I want to give you this”
In his outstretched hand there was a small figurine of two pigeons standing close together.
“Pigeons mate for life, you know” the old man said with a wide smile, depositing the birds into Phil’s shaky palm.
He walked to the front of the bus, saluting Phil as he made his way down the stairs. As quickly as he had come into Phil’s life, he was gone.
Phil was speechless. He knew he attracted the strangest people but this was a whole other level. No one would even believe him, he hardly believed himself.
A very loud part of him wanted to call Kath straight away and ask about concussion symptoms.
But there were things he couldn't ignore. Peter and Dennis were so much like him and Dan (even though he knew Dan would very much reject being compared to the partner of a stranger Phil met on the bus).
Taking the tangled headphones out of his hoodie, he plugged them into his (still silent) phone. Matt Bellamy started singing in his ear as the bus rolled into motion once more.
*********
Phil felt like the student accommodation had sprouted at least 7 new stairwells and 10 new hallways. He made a mental note to complain to Dan about this horrible oversight later.
After at least three wrong turns he reached the right hallway. With a sense of urgency Phil knocked on the plain door he soon found himself facing. It swung open. As soon as he saw the brown haired boy his body knew what to do.
He surged forward without a sound. Arms encircling arms, cheek crushing cheek. Phil felt himself start to tear up, a surge of emotions too big to be contained washing over him.
After a few moments they separated, Dan reaching up to run his hand through Phil’s hair.
“Bub, you have no idea how glad I am to see you” Dan said softly
“Oh! I have something for you”
“It better not be another Edward Cullen mask, you spork”
Phil sheepishly pulled the pigeon figurine out from his pocket
“No Dan”, his smile breaking open “It’s us”.