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Jean Loo was a terrible kisser.
This unfortunate trait was well-known in House, even by those who never heard of him -- which were objectkind who moved into House a day ago, quickly becoming use to Jean Loo and his antics. But it was his inability to kiss, being deemed the worst kisser in the house, that stung deeply.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if his boyfriend wasn't so damn kissable.
Jean Loo considered his boyfriend, Johnny Splash, many things; handsome, adorable, breath-taking, funny. But that was all the surface level traits. Johnny's passions and insecurities, how he switched his nose when he was uncertain, and bit his lip when he was flustered, how he had to have something in his fidgeting hands to concentrate, boy... it all got Jean Loo going.
Even when Johnny continously gets knocked-down by his inability to sing, spending years practicing without luck, he never stopped trying. Persistence, it was perfect on Johnny.
So, that is why Jean Loo felt so awful denying Johnny a real kiss. Sure, they'd kiss each other's cheeks, their hands, their necks, where ever they could reach, but Jean Loo always denied a lip to lip kiss. The stubborn rapper knew it was hurting Johnny, because it was hurting him too. But Jean Loo didn't dare. He lost more partners than skin cells with lip kisses and he was too selfish to lose Johnny.
It was silly, really. Johnny was too angelic, too sweet, to ever break-up to Jean Loo over how bad of a kisser he was. But it was the uncertainty, the patterns that predestined Johnny, that made Jean Loo hesitate.
So, he stuck with chaste, simple kisses. Even during their, ah, rendezvouses. He had plenty elsewhere to kiss then.
"...do you love me?" Johnny asked, after a particularly tame rendezvous. They were both tired but couldn't help but be in love. For Johnny to ask? It caught Jean Loo off guard.
"Of course I do," Jean Loo sounded more defensive than he meant to, pulling Johnny closer under the covers. They were dressed by now, simple pajamas hugging them tight.
Johnny pouted. "It don't feel like you do..."
"Ohh, chaton, no, no, I do--" Jean Loo began to pepper kisses everywhere on Johnny's face.
Except, well, his lips.
Thia spurred on Johnny, pushing Jean Loo away before turning around. "Oh, nevermind..."
"Baby, what is wrong?" Jean Loo tried to hold Johnny, comfort him, but Johnny shook him off. "Hey... whatever it is, bonbon, we can solve it together."
"You won't kiss me."
"...ah, I'm going to need you to elaborate--"
"There's a hundred and ten photos online of you kissing all your other flings, but I don't have a single memory of just one," Johnny started to sniffle, emotions coming back full swing now that the euphoria had died off. One long shift too many and Johnny was being honest. "Do you even like me?"
"Of course I like you, baby, I love you--" Jean Loo scooched toward Johnny, stopping when the melancholy singer scrunch up. "I wanna marry you--"
"You have to kiss me when we get married, Jean," Johnny huffed.
"Well... not necessarily--" Jean Loo's big mouth was the final straw.
Johnny stood up and walked out of their bedroom, Jean Loo scrambling to follow. All too quickly, Johnny grabbed his dinky flip-phone with only a few numbers in it, his jacket off the hangers, and slipped on his shoes.
"Chaton, where are you going?--"
"For a walk."
"Johnny--" Jean Loo panicked now, rushing up to take Johnny's hand. "Wait please, amore, will you even come back--"
"I reckon it won't matter," Goddess, how fiercely Johnny's anger and his sorrow mix. It was his rage that fueled him to go, but it was his sorrow that begged him to be comforted, to be held, and told it was all okay. Again. "You'll get another spur with someone twice as pretty."
While it was true Jean Loo was a notorious flirt, a playboy in all but title, it was Johnny he wanted to stay. He couldn't even tell you anyone else he ever slept with, or dated, or anything of the sort. All Jean Loo knew was Johnny's eyes, his curls that never dried all the way, the softness of his skin, the beautiful songs, everything about Johnny.
"That is... not possible," Jean Loo said, matter of factly. He brought Johnny's hand up to his lips, kissing each knuckle as if it would be the last time. He committed them to memory too. "There no one pretty like you."
"Tell that to all the others, did you?"
It was then how bad Jean Loo knew he fucked up. Johnny would only ever cut so deep if he was already bleeding. So, while the comment stung, Jean Loo did not take it to heart.
"Baby," Jean Loo spoke quietly now, as if coaxing a rabid kitten from their hiding spot. "Talk to moi, I want to know..."
"You don't wanna know, Jean Loo, and even if you did, it won't matter when you got my replacement."
"I do not want no one else, chaton, I swear."
"Then kiss me."
"I do--"
"Please--" The word was desperate, mixed with a choked out sob. Jean Loo never seen his boyfriend more upset. "You can at least tell me what I'm doing wrong!"
"...ah, what?" Jean Loo didn't mean to be so confused. This entire time, he was thinking Johnny knew there was something wrong with Jean. No, Johnny was terrified there was something wrong with himself.
"Is it my lips?" Johnny continued, tears falling down his cheeks like ever flowing waterfalls. "I thought the chapstick would work--"
"No, no, baby, it is not your lips--"
"My teeth? Are they too crooked for you? Is it my tongue? My breath? Me--?"
"It's me."
Johnny stared at Jean Loo like he grew twelve heads.
So, Jean Loo explained. "I know you don't have the social media, you only look when your cousin shows you things, but, ah... you see... Jean Loo was fling king for entirely different reason. He is a God in the sheets but, alas, not so very good with the kisses."
"That don't..." Johnny wiped his eyes. "I don't understand..."
"I am a terrible kisser. Lip kisses are Jean Loo's only weakness," And you, goes unsaid. "I was scared you'd be chased off too... It is like curse. True love's kiss but where the true love runs away and screams."
Johnny opened his mouth but was unsure what to say.
"That is why I do not kiss you, not because you are ugly or have something wrong," Jean Loo held back tears. He would not cry right now. Not when Johnny was hurting even worse. "But because I desperately want you to stay... I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to marry you."
"Kiss me."
"Johnny, I--"
"Let me decide for myself."
Jean Loo wouldn't deny Johnny anything. He couldn't. So, ferrified, Jean Loo obliged to Johnny's request.
It was a horrible kiss. An even worse first-kiss. It was probably the awfulness that convinced Jean Loo, halfway through, that he'd die a heartbroken man. There was no way Johnny would want to stay. No one else did.
"Mmm," Johnny hummed when the two finally separated for air. He didn't look upset, but he didn't look happy either.
"...I am so sorry, Johnny, I--... I'll help you pack--"
It was then that Johnny kissed him again. And again. And again. Some were chaste, mere pecks, and others were hungry, trying to consume Jean Loo.
"Johnny--"
"You're the most inexperienced playboy i ever did know."
"...you know more playboys?"
"Figure of speech. If that's as bad as it gets, then I'm giving you lessons. Daily. Hourly if thats what it takes."
Jean Loo stared at him, confused, then quickly blushed. "J-Johnny, you--"
"And I'm still incredibly upset with you!" Thankfully, Johnny set down this things, took off his jacket, and yet, still, stormed into the bedroom. "You owe me so dearly, Jean Loo."
Jean Loo took a second to follow, but smiled when he did.
It'd be okay, he told himself, Johnny wasn't going anywhere.
Not even with his awful kisses.