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Harry strode purposefully into the pharmacy, his movements smooth and assured as he looked to the back of the shop to check if there was a queue. There wasn't but lounging against the counter was a blonde godling with sparkling green eyes. Within a second of his eyes widening, Harry's long legs had elegantly twirled his body round 180 degrees and in one single fluid motion he was back outside in the busy street.
Immediately a voice in his ear hissed, "What the fook are you doin'?"
The irritating thing for Harry was that he had agreed to collect the prescription once for Merlin and this was now the sixth time. And, though he had some sympathy with his friend, he wished the old fool would just grow a pair and pick up the damn medicine himself.
"Merlin," Harry gave a dramatic sigh, dodging into a side alley so he could speak frankly, "you saw him?" There was grunted agreement in his ear. "Well, I have decided that that dream of a man, that blonde godling with sparkling green eyes, needs me to fuck him so hard that he can't remember his own name."
Merlin gave an incredulous laugh. "You decided that within two seconds?"
"One second, actually. The next second was spent deciding that picking up your damn prescription would fuck it all up for me."
"Harry," mimicked Merlin in his Scottish interpretation of the Queen's English, "you need to use your endless charm because, my dearest friend, you cannot have sexual relations with the young man whilst walking in the opposite direction." He reverted to broad Glaswegian, "and you don't do it when ah need my fookin' pills tonight."
Harry smiled like the Cheshire Cat, knowing that the stretch of his smile would reverberate through his glasses.
"Yer ken stop yer fookin' smilin' too," came the exasperated voice in his ear.
Harry shook his head to irritate Merlin further and exaggerated his Received Pronunciation. "She is such a darrrrrling girl, Merlin, that I'm ab-so-LUTE-ly sure she would collect your wonder drug for you. You just have to explain your little predicament."
A sound like a crack of lightening pierced his ears.
Harry swallowed to relieve the pressure in his ear drums and harrumphed. "I'll take that as a 'no'"
There was an ominous silence until he heard a quieter voice, "I've hacked into the cameras and he's alone now".
"Merlin, I appreciate your advice but it really doesn't help me," Harry replied, "I need to know when the ugly warty witch woman is serving."
At one o'clock precisely Harry strode back into the pharmacy confident in Merlin's reassurance that the blonde godling was on his lunch break. The older woman who, he distractedly realised was not ugly and didn't have warts, was alone at the counter.
Harry gave his most charming smile and handed over the green prescription form just as the stunning blonde godling walked round the corner and said, "I'll do that for you, Maureen, love".
Harry could only watch in horror as the gorgeous blonde godling looked down at the printed form then looked up in surprise at Harry. Their eyes locked momentarily before the godling gave him a cheeky wink and turned to go into the back room.
Merlin's shriek of delight was the last straw and Harry started to babble incoherently at the godling's back. The young man paused and turned round with an incredulous look on his face. And Maureen, the non-ugly non-warty assistant, bustled past him and snatched the green form out of his hands, saying that she would take it through to the pharmacist.
An angel, not a witch, Harry realised as his word soup petered out with a pitiful whimper of, "they're not for me".
There was moment of silence before the godling strode over, took a firm hold of Harry's arm and guided him to a nearby chair whilst Merlin gurgled with joy.
Instead of sitting as expected, Harry caught the godling's hands and eyes in one movement. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said earnestly , "I really am collecting them for a friend. I can assure you that I have no need of them." His eyes implored the young man to believe him.
The blonde godling nodded, "it don't matter, mate, yer don't hafta feel embarrassed 'bout it. Loads of older men need it. Besides you're as fit as fuck and obviously a sensitive type," a choking sound reverberated in Harry's ear, whilst the godling continued, "so yer partner's a lucky woman".
"Man," Harry corrected without thinking.
The godling smiled wistfully, "well I wish I 'ad a bloke like you".
Harry quickly regained his senses, "will you join me for lunch?"
The boy recoiled as though he'd been burnt and said coldly, "yer think just cos I'm a chav that I'd go out wi' you while yer partner's waiting for yer to get it up?".
Harry stared at him aghast. "But I haven't got a partner."
"Yer just said you had," the godling said confused.
Harry paused, not knowing what to say, and the shop bell rang as someone entered. The godling immediately stood up and moved away and Harry stared after him in stunned silence until he heard a familiar Scottish brogue asking him if he had collected the prescription yet.
He looked up open-mouthed at Merlin and saw the godling staring from one to other. Merlin turned to the young man and smiled innocently, "I'm blessed with a good friend who has been collectin' my prescription for me to save my embarrassment but I think the time has come for me to get it."
The godling nodded thoughtfully then looked at Harry, "so yer were tellin' the truth, weren't yer?"
"Yes," said Harry softly, "and I also don't have a partner".
"That's good," the godling grinned, "cos I think we're just going off for lunch, aren't we?"
Harry's smile lit up the room, "yes, we certainly are".
As they walked towards the door, the blonde godling turned back to call to Maureen. "Am goin' to lunch wi' the fit bloke. It's this bald old bloke who's waiting for the Viagara."