Chapter Text
Harry swept open the door of the pharmacy and stood aside, gesturing for Eggsy to walk through as though they were the doors to Buckingham Palace and Eggsy was the Prince of Wales.
Eggsy hesitated and looked up at Harry. Deep brown eyes looked steadily at him with a mouth that was crinkling into a smile and, oh God, was that a dimple? Not only was he the sexiest man alive but also the epitome of the British Gentleman. A Gentleman Stud who wanted to go for lunch with Eggsy! Blimey, he would have been less surprised if the stud had asked Maureen out. Well, Eggsy conceded, perhaps not Maureen. She was kind, thoughtful and endearingly motherly to Eggsy but he suspected Harry wasn't looking to be mothered.
"I know a quiet Italian just around the corner," Harry said and Eggsy instantly fell in love with his voice. How could anyone make the word 'corner' sound sexy? "Would that be agreeable to you?"
Eggsy put away his musings about Maureen and, really, why was he thinking about Maureen at this moment?
"That w-w-would be..." Oh Lord, when he did develop a stammer? He pushed on, "perfect."
Harry bowed his head and pointed the way, manfully ignoring Merlin's incensed whisper in his ear, "I kenna believe that cheeky upstart said ah were old". Harry smiled in amusement and heard Merlin's exasperated voice, "Stop yer smiling and tell him right now that yer older than I am". Harry shook his head slightly and was rewarded with a growl.
He took hold of Eggsy's elbow and steered him down a narrow cobbled street. Eggsy's nervousness slipped away as they talked and laughed about the Viagara. In the curve of Harry's glasses he saw Eggsy checking him out, and preened like the peacock he was. He was pleasantly surprised when the nosy old Scot remained silent. He turned to repay the compliment but Eggsy's sparkling green eyes were too riveting to look anywhere else.
It was, thought Harry, remarkable how you could meet someone and just know, as soon as you saw them, that there was a connection. He remembered how Merlin had dismissed the idea of love at first sight when a well known actor had said it, and even went so far as to look up an early newspaper article where the actor had added 'or lust at first sight'. "Och, the wee laddie cannot afford to be that honest nowadays."
The restaurant was a dingy looking place with faded gold lettering that said Il Principe Nero and an Italian flag drooping disconsolately from a rusty flag pole. Eggsy looked at Harry with a grin, "Looks like Merlin ain't the only one in need of Viagara". A guttural "Affenarsch," vibrated Harry's glasses but his roar of laughter drowned out the rest of Merlin's German invective.
He most certainly has not got a monkey's arse, Harry thought, whilst opening the door and gently placing his hand on the small of Eggsy's back to guide him through. He leaned in close until his breath was tickling Eggsy's ear. "You'll like the ambience and the food, and you'll love Mrs Bertolli - she's very like Maureen."
Eggsy would have been happy with the Big Mac and fries that Maureen bought him every Friday as his mind and body were totally preoccupied with Harry's large hand that continued to move south to gently rest on the generous curve of Eggsy's arse. He might not have known what ambience meant but it sounded as sexy as hell when Harry's lips were so tantalisingly close to his mouth. He shivered a little and wished he didn't have to go back to work after lunch but he couldn't leave Maureen on her own.
His musings about Maureen - and he really must stop thinking about her - were driven away by the tiny Aladdin's cave that they walked into. It was jammed full of Italian artefacts with a whole shelf of tacky souvenirs of the Coliseum. Harry whispered into his ear that the regular patrons, himself included, brought back mementos from Italy for Mrs Bertolli.
Eggsy felt Harry's hand sliding a little lower and giving his arse a gentle squeeze. He had known that Harry was a man of action as soon as Harry had asked him to lunch only one minute after they'd met; in fact that was part of his attraction, and this example of his forwardness was very sexy.
Eggsy smiled to himself then stopped in shock.
The tiny table for two was tucked into a corner rammed to the roof with statues of naked men. Eggsy's mouth dropped open and he looked round at Harry in amazement.
"Subtle, Harry, subtle," came a sarcastic voice. "Even your blonde godling who is so stupid that he thinks I'm old, must have worked out by now that your intentions are a little less than pure."
Harry pulled out Eggsy's chair and calmly motioned for him to be seated whilst he began a brief introduction to Renaissance Art. "These are some of the most famous sculptures in world. This one, for example, is Michelangelo's David." Eggsy looked round and carefully counted them. Twenty-three Davids of differing sizes surrounded them. This was weirding him out so he focussed on Harry and his history lesson.
Whilst he talked, Merlin kept up a constant commentary. "Yer a dirty old man, Harry Hart. Ah thought you were taking the boy for lunch but it looks like yer skippin' straight to the first date in a cosy dark restaurant surrounded by penises. Classy, Harry, very classy." He chuckled irritatingly, "Ah suppose yer not wanting to bother with the kissing either, are you? No, straight home for an afternoon fook".
Harry surreptitiously tapped his glasses to turn Merlin off but the Haggis-loving Jock had overrode the system and Harry swore inwardly that he had left his ordinary prescription glasses at home.
Eggsy frowned as he listened intently to Harry, his eyebrows pulled together and his green eyes sparkled in apparent fascination. Harry was bewitched, bothered and bewildered, and promptly lost his train of thought and ground to a premature halt.
Eggsy looked as though he was unconvinced by the lengthy explanation but he nodded politely and asked seriously, "Why are all their cocks so small?"
Merlin burst into hysterical laughter. "Tell him he ken see a full sized one later this afternoon."
Harry nodded gravely and kept his face straight. He knew that if Merlin had been there, he would struggled not to have joined in with his laughter but Eggsy was sitting before him wide eyed with innocence, and wanting an honest answer. It was, he thought, an intelligent question from someone who had not studied art history.
Harry cleared his throat. "Renaissance Art was heavily influenced by the Greeks who thought the small uncircumcised penis was a sign of nobility whereas large ones were considered vulgar. And the standard for beauty in the classical era in Greece was the prepubescent boy so the smaller your penis was the closer you were to the ideal." He paused and trying not to sound too lascivious added, "Thankfully we no longer hold those views".
Eggsy's eyebrows shot up, "Is that a promise, 'Arry?" He winked. "I'm looking forward to finding out."
Merlin groaned and muttered, "Yer dirty pair - yer deserve each other. And tell that boy he'll need glasses to see yer old man's penis."
Harry smiled broadly, saying, "Don't worry Eggsy, I'm not the one who needs Viagara".
