Chapter Text
“Ugh, what am I going to do, El?!” Penelope flopped onto the bed as soon as they walked into Eloise’s room. “You know I have the coordination of a newborn giraffe. What if this ruins my GPA? UGH.” She pulled a pillow over her head and groaned.
“You know what I’m going to say, Pen,” Eloise started.
“No, I can’t, you know that.”
“Know what?” Daphne peeked her head as she walked by.
“The stupid, patriarchal, misogynistic skills test for sophomore girls is next week. Pen is spiraling,” Eloise answered.
“Ew that, yeah that sucked. Barely passed.” Daphne mused. “Sorry, Pen. Can’t help you there.” She walked out the door before turning back, “Oh right! I asked Colin for help. Maybe you should ask him.”
Pen pulled the pillow back over her face before screaming as El looked at her with an “I told you so” smirk.
—
She had known the Bridgertons since she was 11 and moved to Mayfair. She technically met Colin first when she was reading at the River Court when her yellow blanket blew away as she got up to adjust her position to stay in the shade. The blanket ended up knocking this boy off his bike to her horror to which he replied, “well that wasn’t well done of me.” She giggled slightly as she helped him up, looking into his navy blue eyes before she heard a “COLIN” from one of the older boys nearby.
“Sorry,” he said, “that’s my brother Ant. I got to go.”
“That’s okay,” she remarked quietly. “I hope you aren’t hurt.”
“Colin, what are you doing over here? Ant is yelling for you,” a girl who looked like him said a bit breathlessly after running over to them. “Oh, hi, I’m Eloise, don’t listen to him,” she glanced down to see her book. “Wait, what are you reading?”
From then on, Penelope and Eloise were inseparable, especially since they were in the same class once school started again. Colin was a year older, as was his twin Daphne. Pen loved playing dress up and the girly things Eloise hated with Daphne. It was the best of both worlds, and all she needed was to be at Bridgerton House to feel safe.
She almost never saw Colin after that first day. He was either playing basketball with his brothers who were both varsity basketball stars like their dad was, or he was out with his friends. But that did not stop Pen from having a major crush on him. He was so kind that day at the River Court, and she knew he could have yelled at her. But he didn’t.
She only wished she was not so painfully shy around him now. The more years that passed made it harder for her to gather the courage to talk to him.
—
She knew she needed to talk to him. He was her best friend’s brother, and he can play basketball. Why being able to make three free throws in a row as part of a skills challenge she’ll never understand. Not like she will have a basketball-related emergency that all hinged on her making a basket. She opened the door to her house, and while she drudged up the stairs after coming home after dinner at El’s, she turned as her mother yelled.
“Penelope, is that you?”
“Yes, mum. I’m just heading upstairs to study,” she replied with a bit more bite in her tone at her general annoyance at the world.
“Well the Dankworths are coming over tomorrow, so I expect you to eat here.”
“Okay mum,” Pen sighed before finally running up the stairs to her room.
Pen was the youngest of three girls, and while she was the only one in high school, her sisters still live at home. They attended community college, but Pen almost never saw them study. Their mum was always trying to set them up with an eligible man, which is why Pen needed to be at dinner tomorrow to put on a good show for whoever these people were. Maybe they’ll have a son who doesn’t mind either the meanest or the simplest person she knew. As much as she loved her sisters, she did not like them very much. And her dad, Archie, was usually MIA. He’d be in his study with the door locked, or he’d be out doing “business.” She stopped asking questions a while ago. It was one of the reasons she took summer classes to try and graduate early and hopefully earn enough scholarships to get out of this house for good.
She never quite fit in with her family. She was too short, too big, too quiet, too bookish. Just too much, but somehow also not enough. It’s why she spent so much time at the Bridgertons. Violet was the sweetest, and she and Pen had the best talks. Pen didn’t know what she would do without them. Her three best friends were Bridgertons, and the only other people she talked to regularly were her teachers. She had made the most of the people around her and the life she had. It was not the happiest, but it was the life she had and she was grateful for it.
—
Pen was sitting at one of the many tables in the courtyard at the school’s entrance. The courtyard was where the sophomores and juniors sat. The freshmen sat in a smaller courtyard, though Pen stuck to the library last year, feeling a bit too close to people she’d prefer to avoid. She did, however, like this courtyard because it was much more open with more tables, and she can subtly listen in on conversations without anyone noticing. It’s her guilty pleasure to make the day pass by quicker.
Also, Daphne sat with them whenever she wanted now. Daphne never wanted to come to the freshmen courtyard last year. Just like Pen knew she and El won’t join Frannie when she starts 9th grade next year. Sometimes Daphne would braid Pen’s hair in the morning if she did not have to catch up on homework; Hyacinth had been asking for more complicated braids so Pen was more than happy to be the guinea pig if it means her hair is a bit more contained than usual. Today Daphne was sitting with some of her junior friends from Yearbook. Daphne loved to take photos as much as she loved to be in them. Plus she was able to choose the photos that end up in the yearbook, which was so much power. She always picked the best ones of her and her friends. Pen even had a candid make it in last year from Spirit Day, smiling ear to ear with El. She copied that page and put that picture in her locker to remind herself that high school can also be about fun too.
Pen was listening to Daphne and El fight over the car schedule for the millionth time. They have to share with Colin and sometimes drive their younger siblings around, so it got contentious. This time Daphne wanted to go to this party at a senior boy’s house, but El wanted to go to this indie concert Friday night.
“No, I promised Lydia that I would drive her to the party. She said her brother would buy us beer if I drive…” Daphne whispered harshly, not wanting a random teacher walking by to hear them.
“I had this on the schedule for months. This band is only here for one night. I have to go! Theo will be there.” Eloise retorted.
She resumed looking over the chapters of her English assignment - in case of a pop quiz - when suddenly she involuntarily turned, hearing his laugh carry through the air. Of course she knew what his laugh sounds like 一 she was best friends with his sister. At least that’s what she told herself when she turned. Sometimes she wished that he did not affect that much. He clearly would never notice her.
Apparently while she was watching Colin, El switched her attention to ask her a question instead of fighting with Daphne. Pen knew that Violet had a schedule and if it’s on there first, it won so El will probably win that battle this time. Hopefully Daphne will still drive them home this week. The last time Daphne had to drive El, Pen had to take the bus to school for a week before El promised that she could use the car the next Friday night.
“So Pen, ready for gym class today? Only two more classes before the skills test? Have you been practicing?”
“No, I’ve been busy with real school work, El. I don’t have time.”
“Why won’t you just ask Colin? It’s literally the only thing he’s good at! He helped me last night, and it didn’t suck. I made a few after he showed me a few tricks.”
“I can’t ask him, El. We’ve barely said more than ‘hi’ to each other whenever our paths cross. And I’m pretty sure he only talks to people on the basketball team or in the cheer squad. The only reason he knows my name at all is because of you.”
Penelope’s words were firm, but her thoughts told a different story. She had seen the way Colin acted around his family—so warm, so genuine—and it didn’t match the version of him at school. She couldn’t explain the difference, but part of her believed he was kinder than he let on.
“I’m telling you; he would help. Just ask,” El retorted.
“I’ll figure it out myself,” Pen grumbled before turning back to her book.
She peeked over at the table where he and his friends are sitting - Fife, Wilding, Cho - all of the other varsity basketball guys. She had been at Bridgerton house or the River Court when they were all together, and they seemed to bring out each other’s worst instincts. Though Colin did look nice in a tight white t-shirt with low slung jeans, and when he started gesturing as he told a story, she saw his shirt lift up, exposing his abs. She had to will herself to stop looking before someone noticed.
Then there were the cheerleaders who were more “sneer” leaders if Pen had named them. They were always so bitchy to her when all she was at school to do was learn and then get out of there. For some reason, they decided that she was a good target, especially when Eloise wasn’t around because she never fought back. She just let it roll off of her, never letting them know just how deep her hurt really went. She knew that one day she’ll be a successful author, and they will be sad housewives married to whoever their parents chose. She let her mind wander to her latest idea for a story, when ….
*RING* 一 the bell rung, stirring her from her observations. She quickly gathered her items before calling out to El and Daphne “see you later!” “have a good class” “love you!”
—
Pen walked into AP Calc AB and took a deep breath. She took the class with mostly juniors and seniors because she took the sophomore level math over the summer while she was working at the library. She liked math. While English was her favorite subject, there was something she loved about solving equations and figuring out the answer. She used to do sudoku puzzles on her way to school if she was bored. Plus there were real world applications to math that made it even more interesting. She said hello to Ms. Miyamoto, her teacher. She had her over the summer, and she really liked her. Ms. Miyamoto was so nice and helpful, and whenever Pen got stuck, she made her feel like she would figure it out soon enough. Also, she assigned them seats, and luckily Pen got one in the front row. No distractions.
Okay, maybe one distraction. Colin was in her class. He sat in the third row, so she couldn't see him without being super obvious so she rarely got to look at him unless he raised his hand to answer a question. Which almost never happens. El told her that he’s had a math tutor on and off since middle school. He had dysgraphia so sometimes numbers get jumbled in his head. She knew that not everyone likes math, but she did, and she turned her attention to the board where today they were learning about the mean value theorem. Ms. Miyamoto was talking about finding the number that satisfied the theorem for a polynomial function of f(x)=x²-6x+8 over the interval [2,5].
Pen was taking notes, when Ms. Miyamoto called on Colin to ask him for the answer. She turned to look at him, and he made eye contact with her and she can tell he does not know. However, Pen did and mouthed “1” to him, which he repeated and Ms. Miyamoto returned to her lessons, peppering other students with questions. Pen knew she got skipped a lot because she typically knew the answers and would speak up if she’s confused. Sometimes she even asked questions she knew others might have just to be considerate.
After class ended, she was picking up her items. She heard a deep “thanks” and looked up to see a blinding smile from Colin. “No problem,” she quickly breathed before hurrying on. She thought he started to say something else, but she did not have time to talk to him. She had gym next and knew it takes her the whole five minutes to get from math to gym and change without being late. She wondered about halfway to gym if maybe it would have been worth it to be late. Just this once. Too late now, she thought to herself as she continued to weave through the hallways.
—
Pen pulled down her shirt after it rode up as she quickly ran into the gym for her hour of torture. She somehow was in a class with multiple varsity athletes and more than a few cheerleaders. She was always picked last, though thankfully El was in the class so she at least had a partner if the teacher yelled for them to pair up. Last year she didn’t, and the teacher would have to add her to an unwilling pair as the unfortunate third. Today they were practicing free throws for the skills test next week. Besides the free throws, they also had to be able to do 10 “real” push ups. Which was unfair because her boobs pulled her down like a weighted vest she can’t take off compared to the girls like El with barely anything getting in the way. Moreover, they needed to run a mile in under 10 minutes and do 100 sit ups, not crunches, sit ups. She learned that the hard way at the last skills test where she was coasting until Clara asked the teacher a little too loudly if crunches counted. Most of these skills Pen could fake or at least try her best before dying for the next few days. She loved to run, but not for speed, just to get out of her head for 30 minutes while jamming to Taylor Swift. She felt confident that if she pushed, she could run a mile that fast.
Unfortunately, there was no way to fake a free throw going in. You had to make at least one basket, but preferably three out of five to get a decent score. Which Pen obviously wanted. This was why she was trying for what felt like 300 times and maybe making about 15 shots. So she was definitely nervous for next week. Why every year they had to add a new skill to the skills test was beyond her? It’s not like it really counts for anything, but it’s a point of pride to not fail gym.
She continued to take the shots while watching El make her three in a row before sitting down, watching Pen.
“You can do it, Pen. Just bend your knees and shoot!” Pen tried again and it’s short. Did not even hit the rim.
“I’m trying,” Pen gritted through her teeth. “Not everyone is 5’8”.”
Suddenly, she felt someone stand right behind like a storm cloud moving in. “Oh look, it's a little leprechaun trying to shoot a basket. Let’s see how high she can throw this one.” Cressida laughs with Clara and a few of the other cheerleaders.
Clara joined in, “Yeah, what a loser. Even elementary schoolers can make this shot.”
El jumped in, “At least Pen can read. I bet my youngest sister can read bigger words than you.”
Pen smirked at that remark, as Cressida narrowed her eyes as if to direct all her ire at Pen in one look, “Well, Colin invited me to hang out this weekend at Fife’s party, and well… you will just be in the library. Again. Poor, sad Penelope.” She added a fake whine in her voice to further make her friends say aww with the type of pity that made Pen want the floor to swallow her whole.
The bell rang and Pen, saved by the bell, ran out of there as fast as she could, changing quickly before heading to the library to compose herself. After the high of math class, being at gym class felt like a slap in the face. With a renewed sense of determination, she will be relentless to prove them wrong and show up Cressida and her band of haters.
—
In the library, she was looking for physics books that explain basketball. Yes, she really was that desperate. But she would try anything, and luckily for her, she understood math and equations. She checked the book out, saying a quick goodbye to Mrs. Rickett-Wilbur, and headed to the courtyard to meet up with El. Daphne was driving them home today despite their earlier fight 一 her mum said she had to if she wanted to use the car outside of school.
Pen sat in the back row, as Daphne and Eloise bickered about something or other up front. They picked up Frannie from middle school, and she scooted next to Pen. They had this unspoken rule where they would sit with each other in silence unless the other really needed to vent. It worked out well because Frannie was one of the few Bridgertons who can simply be, so having Pen around gave her a quiet place to land when the chaos was too much. And Pen in turn had a friend who understands loving the chaos of the Bridgertons, but also she could turn to when she needed to roll her eyes or make a loving joke on their behalf.
Today, however, Pen needed to vent, so she interjects El with a quiet, “um, when we get to your house, can I practice shooting hoops? I got a book at the library that I think will help me.”
“Of course!” El replied, “want me to join?”
“No, I think I need to figure it out myself,” Pen said as if she can will herself into making a basket with a book and a prayer.
“Sounds good, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
Daphne added, “Stop by my room, Pen, before you leave. I have this shirt I bought that I think would look super cute on you!”
Pen shyly thanked her when a few minutes later Frannie asked, “have you asked Colin yet? He helped El last night.”
Pen groaned when El laughed, “I tried, Frannie, she said no. I can’t make her ask him.”
“Thank you for the suggestion, I will consider it,” Pen mused, trying to thank her and turning her down gently. Why was every Bridgerton pushing her to ask him, she’ll never understand? She had never had a full conversation with him. Why start now? She got out of the car, gathered up a few of the basketballs lying around, cracked open her book, and began.
She spent maybe 30 minutes, who even knows at this point, going between her book and actually shooting at the hoop. She made three? Maybe four if hitting the rim and almost going in counts?
“Ugh”, she groaned to herself, “this is impossible. Might as well give up now.” Her thoughts got more and more bleak as the time went on. She was an honor roll student, for goodness sake; she should be able to make a stupid basket. She was about to bounce the ball as high as it could go to get out her frustration when she heard a car pull up the driveway.
She stepped over to the side so they could drive all the way up when she noticed it’s Fife’s car. She forgot that he usually drove Colin home after practice if she and the girls didn't stay late at school. He got out of the car, and she swore it’s like there’s a slow mo camera on him as he walked towards her, draping his varsity jacket over his shoulder slung over his gym bag. His face was red from practice, and she could see sweat drip down the side of his face, dipping in the crook of his neck and disappearing under his shirt. She gulped as he walked towards her.
“Screw it”, she thought. “I have to ask. It’s now or never.”
He waved at his friends driving away, as she continued her internal pep talk. “Just do it, he’s nice. His sisters love you. His mum loves you. His friends left. It’s just us. Do it! DO IT!”
Finally she opened her mouth to speak.
“Hi, Colin.”
“Hey Pen,” he looked at her and smiled, and she almost lost her cool.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked shyly, looking at her feet.
“Of course, what do you need?”
Finally she looked up to make eye contact with him, looking into his navy blue eyes that made her a little weak in the knees, “Um, would you help me with free throws?”
His eyes looked into hers as she waited for his response.