Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Queen was having a grand old time chatting up that charmingly pathetic TV host ever since he joined her in her Castle Town. Technically it wasn’t hers, but she was pretty much running the place ever since she got there. She was everyone’s friend, everyone’s ex-wife, and everyone just HAD to know how much she wanted to make them happy.

And it seemed like she made Mr. Tenna very happy.

From the get-go, he seemed so glad to see her again. As the overseers of Dreemurr-Holiday playdates, they had plenty of history to dig up and contemplate. Tenna was very eager to talk about his glory days, letting her know they still were very much around despite his whole studio being practically defunct by now. But it was entertaining to see how much he wanted to impress her. She knew that much.

And he was so baffled by everything about Cyber City, from its virtual sights to its digital people. It was like he stepped out from a completely different time period, now more so considering how much he still seemed to live in the years technicolor was popular. Every time she told him something new, it was like he was stepping out of Plato’s cave.

Which was why today was going to be very, very exciting. 

For the both of them.

“Oh Ant” Queen called as she entered the bakery.

Immediately the man sitting at the table in the corner perked up.

“Queenie!” Tenna called to her, beaming. 

“Oh Anton / Oh Antoine / Oh Antony / Oh Anthony / Oh Annie”

He chuckled. “I’m right here, Queen, ya don’t have to keep callin’. Though I like it.”

She sat right down in the seat across from him. “Guess What”

“What?”

“Guess What”

“What?”

“Guess What”

He let out a playfully irritated laugh. “What, Queenie, what??”

She laughed, and pulled something out from behind her back. She set it down, and slid it ever so slightly across to him. “I Got You Something”

His smile seemed to get wider, which she admired. She especially admired the wrinkles that spread across his glass cheeks. It meant he smiled often.

“Wow, just for me? Thank you!” He set it on top of his head. “I always wanted a hat!”

Queen let out a much more amused laugh, bringing a dainty hand to her mouth. “Ohohohoho / It’s Not A Hat Silly The Present Is Inside The Box”

Tenna giggled and took the hat (box) off. “I know, I know, dear! Just pullin’ your leg. Now lemme see here…”

The box was small and sleek, colored just a simple black, with a small strip of tape over each side. Tenna clumsily tried to break and peel it off, but his large fingers were much too clunky for such a task. He stuck his bottom lip out, gaze shifting to Queen for help.

“Aw Poor Thing / Not To Worry I Have Experience Opening These Things”

She swiped it from him, nails ripping through the tape with ease. She handed it back to him. “Go On Now See What’s Inside”

Excited to see what was in store, Tenna lifted the lid, but looked confused when he saw what was inside.

“You Like It / Go On You Can Say It’s OK”

“Uh… I do?”

“Oh You Hate It Don’t You” She pouted.

Tenna panicked. “No, no! I don’t hate it, I’m just… not sure what it… is?” He turned the box towards her. “I just… uh, thanks for the rectangle?”

It took Queen a moment before she burst out into laughter.

“What?? What??” Tenna said. “Is this a prank? Is it… give your pal a shape day? What??” 

“No That’s Next Month” She wiped her visor of tears that weren’t there, her fans whirring to calm herself down. “That’s Not Just Any Shape Tenny / I Got You A Phone”

“Uh… a phone?” His brow raised. Obviously he was thinking of something completely different. “But this–”

“Yeah Girl This Is The Future / You Might Want To Lay Down And Do Sit Ups About It / But Here We Have Cellular Phones Which Let Us Do Practically Anything OMG I’ve Got To Show You”

She zipped around to his side of the table, claiming his lap as her throne as she plucked the phone from the box. He stuttered, fixing his collar, letting her take the lead.

“OK So You Turn It On Like This” She held the power button, and the screen came to life. Tenna gasped.

“Well, I’ll be!”

“Yeah You’ll Be / We’re Just Getting Started” 

The phone displayed its setup slides, and Queen handed it back to him. Tenna held it far from his face, looking like he was squinting to read.

“What do I… do?”

“Tap The Screen To Get Started”

Nervously, Tenna did, and he jumped when the screen reacted to his touch.

“WHA–!”

“Awesome Isn’t It / I Love A Good Touchscreen”

“The– it– this is–”

“It Wants You To Enter Your Email Right”

“Ema… uh, my… m-my what? S-say that again?”

“Oh Duh You Don’t Have One / Not To Worry Tennycakes You Can Use Mine For Now”

She swiped it from him again, typing in “ [email protected] ,” her password, and gesturing for Tenna to take it back.

He just sat there in awe.

“You just… tap the screen and… it does things?” 

“Uh Yeah”

“How– how did they figure this out?” He took the phone back after she kept waving at at him.

“Science IDK / I Could Look It Up I Don’t Feel Like It Rn Tho”

“Huh…” He scratched his chin. “What’s next?”

“Just Read What It Says On The Screen” She said as she stared up at him from her position. He was upside down to her.

“Uh… phone… password?”

“Yeah So Only You Know To Get To Your Stuff / I’d Lay Off Tho Since You’d Probs Forget”

“Hhmph.” He seemed to think otherwise. “Okey dokey, so… preferences? Account recovery, data…”

“Uh / Skip All That”

“Isn’t this important stuff?”

“Eh They Want You To Think That / You Can Change It Later”

“Hm! ‘Kay!” He squinted at the screen again. “What’s this, it wants me to set up a home address–”

“Girl Just Skip All That Shit / C’mon I Wanna Show You My Favorite Slop Apps”

“Fine by me! It’ll take me a bit to understand all this, but hey, I’m gettin’ a hang of tapping on this cellular phone!” He held it lower so she could see. There was the homescreen, with a default background and default apps. He tapped his finger around, chuckling.

“Here Look” Queen raised her hand to the screen, and slid it, and the homescreen slid with it. 

“Oh, boy!” Tenna said, elated. “You don’t see that everyday!”

“I Mean I Do LOL”

“Aw, I shoulda guessed.” He swiped at the screen a few more times before the excitement started to wear off. “Wow, seeing this tech every day… so used to it… knowing how it works an’ all… now that it’s everywhere, and I’m… uh…”

His antennae drooped, and Queen sat up.

“Can I Sees (Seize) That One More Time”

“Sure…”

She took it, grazing her fingers against his hand, which he then held close to his chest. She acknowledged how cute he looked in pink before turning her attention back to the phone.

Opening contacts, add new contact…

“Here You Goo Tennapoo”

“What’d you do?” He asked curiously.

“Added My Number To Your Contacts / It’s Like Having Your Own Pocket Phone Book Expect You Gotta Work For Those Numbers LOL”

He maintained his pink screen. “O-oh! Soooooo I finally, ah, earned your number! Hah!”

“Well Of Course / You Were Sad Earlier Since Your Antennae Aren’t Compatible For Calling My Hardware”

He tilted his head, lips curling up.

“So I Thought Maybe You Could Use This As A New Learning Opportunity”

“Queenie…”

Circuits, his smile was adorable.

“Oh, you didn’t have to go and do all this for me! But you did, didn’t ya?” His smile wavered, turning goofier by the minute. “A-and now, I get to learn new tech with– with this? Queenie, you’re a real… a real showstopper, y’know that?”

“Oh I Know Ant / I Know”

Nervously, he held his head down, looking away from her. She perked up when she saw his nose start to bloom.

“Wow Really Right In Front Of My Salad”

“H-huh?!” He realized what he’d done. “O-oh! Sorry ‘bout that, sometimes I just, er, get real giddy an’ gay–”

“Giddy And What LOL”

“Cheerful! Cheerful! Y’know! We’re havin’ a gay ol’ time, us two, we’re–”

“OMG LMFAO You’re Such A Goofball I Love It” She pushed him, playfully, and his laughter caught in his throat. “So Old So Silly I Like My Old Silly TV Man”

“Y-yours???” He clutched the phone to his chest.

“Sure LOL” 

He seemed eager to say something, his lips twitching up and down like they didn’t want him to open his mouth. Unfortunately, she didn’t have all the time in the world to figure out what.

She got up, and his shoulders slumped.

“Sorry To Disappoint Anty / But It’s Time For My 2:00 Basketball Game With My Son Where He Is The Ball / I’ve Got To Skedaddle”

“Ah… that’s alright…” He shrank slightly. “Well… gives me more time to figure out this… cellular phone!”

“Right You Are / Funny Thing Phones And I Are Kinda The Same Species / So It’s Kinda Like You’re Still Hanging Out With Me LOL”

“O-oh?” 

Before he could say another word, she was prancing to the door.

“Okay Call Me Or Text Me Don’t Fax Me I Must Go Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

And hopefully, she thought, he wouldn’t have too much trouble with her new gift.

Chapter Text

Queen’s present to Tenna had been quite the success. So it seemed? At least at first. 

Soon after she departed, Queen’s internal messaging system received a signal. From Tenna! He’d figured out how to text, apparently, which was pretty quick considering she thought it would take him at least the whole day. But no! 

It had read:

Dearqueen

,

This is a v  very amzngn tecvhtechnolkm,technologyy

  .  thNK YOU   VEAery muchyo u aLWAys imps ers me

so sweeoft of yo@+!

with   lOVE TENNa ‘ send to qenu sned send mes

sage

She’d giggled at it. Quite a lot. She was so, so proud that he’d even been able to open her contact in his messaging app. It just goes to show how much potential he really had. How much he still could surprise her. How much he still had to learn.

To be honest, she hadn’t realized how good she’d had it. She was born into this technology, raised alongside it, raised as it as well as a Darkner could be “raised.” It all came so naturally to her… It seemed to just make complete sense that you could search anything online and have it come to you, to touch a screen and have it respond, to control something wirelessly, to access anything at any time, play games, watch movies, listen to music, all new and old, or even do things like… play mobile game slop. 

She never quite questioned how it was done. It was all ones and zeroes, on and off, triggering signals to make a motherboard understand what it was supposed to do, whether it was to control a video game character’s movement or… play a song. And that was done since the Dark Ages– the late 19th century really– with tin or wax cylinders that could record sound and play it back when a needle scratched the ridges that sound waves made in them. Tenna could probably understand that much. It was the same technology that made vinyls, as it was the same that made CDs, although he seemed less familiar with the latter. It was all up or down, on or off, one or zero. As it was for her, as it was for him. 

Nothing had changed drastically, not really; things had only become more efficient and more compact. They were more similar than they were different.

Which warmed her so. Every one of her subjects, her peons, she knew like the back of her hand. They entertained her, worshipped her, despised her, but she knew the paths the current took already. So she was ready for someone to come along and give her a challenge, something new, someone who wasn’t quite used to her the same way she wasn’t quite used to them.

Of course it had to be Tenna.

As she sauntered on, she felt a ping register in her receiver. She took no time at all to examine it: another message from Tenna! Oh this was it: he was going to start blowing up her messages and she was so ready for that. Clingy losers were just so hilarious like that.

But this message seemed a little… different. It said:

qUEEN[

     amzing cellulartgphone its [Number1RatedPhone202X ] i [LuvLetter4U.exe]) all these lett ers an

d fan mail f0.r me i [feel so sigma!!!1] kind of [ClickHere2WinBig]

loud howver , ,, notrsu re waht [malicioussite . com] todo ! help ? imT DOJO NOW 

yours [[Hyperlink Blocked] tenna <3 made a ehart send toq eunn

While still… adorable, Queen couldn’t help but feel his typing skills had… heinously regressed. Sure, his fingers seemed a little big for the keypad, so he was bound to have to get used to it, but those random links? It felt a little more sketchy than the man himself already was. He was a bit of a control freak of a boss, sure, but those hyperlinks were uncharacteristic. It made Queen walk a little faster, her plans changing to meet him where he said he would be: at the dojo.

Disgustingly romantic music wafted from inside as she neared. Her peons just loved to frequent this place in order to test and train their skills, but Queen herself couldn’t be bothered. Especially with the music. First of all, who wrote it, and who thought it was a good idea for a battle arena? She certainly had a few suspects in mind.

Waiting just inside was Tenna, looking as bright as he usually was. He’d changed his wardrobe recently, shifting from his eye-catching suit to a more comfortable, casual look straight out of the 70s. The flashy bellbottoms were impressive to say the least, and Queen couldn’t help but… agree with the tight shirt he wore, although it was buttoned up way too high. Sadly, he wasn’t wearing a tie today. 

He noticed her gaze, and immediately jumped, hiding something behind his back.

“Queen!” He said. “You got my letter!”

“Sure Did” she said, not caring to correct him. “It Was Quite The Giggler / You Have Spelling Errors Even I Didn’t Think Were Possible”

Tenna shrunk a little at that comment, but he still kept his smile.

“Well, happy to entertain in any way I can! Still, ah, working on cellular phone letters thing, but I think I get the picture.”

“Eh You Get It Enough / Not Sure What All Those Links Were Though”

“Er, sorry ‘bout that. It’s been acting up lately, not sure what I did, but– but I can still use it! S’all good!”

Her brow raised. “What Did You Already Brick It”

“What? I wouldn’t throw a brick at it, what’re you talking about?”

“I Mean Render It Unusable”

“Well– ah– it’s certainly got a lot more… features, since you gave it to me, but they were probably things I didn’t set up at first. But you can take a look, if you want to… just us two, heh, learnin’ technology. Alone. Together.”

They were completely silent, save for the music blaring in the background. It was starting to overload Queen’s sensors, and she’d have to get her and Tenna out of there quickly before she shut down.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Tenna said as he snapped his fingers. He brought something out from behind his back and presented it to Queen: a large bouquet of velvety red daisies.

“For you!” He said happily. “I, ah, grew ‘em myself. I thought, hey, her majesty might like all sorts of pretty gifts, so I got you these and thought… you’d enjoy ‘em!”

She tentatively took them, and for a moment it seemed like Tenna’s hands lingered by her own before she moved away. He did that thing again, holding his hands close to his chest.

“Y-you like them? Do you? Not sure if– i-if people still like flowers these days, but I thought I’d–”

They looked awfully familiar.

“LOL Are These Your Booger Flowers”

His height skyrocketed in shock. “HUH?”

“I Seen These Come Out Your Nose”

“They– that’s not how it works, they just, er, sprout when I get really happy. And they often sprout when I’m around– uhm, just often! No other cause!”

“LOL It’s Okay Snot Man” She patted him on the head as he shrank and shrank. “Tis Sweet Of You I Appreciate It”

He scoffed under his breath. “Well, at least she likes them…”

“These Will Make A Wonderful Meal For My Son Boy”

“Uh, they’re for you really… to… put in a vase?”

“Like My Vases With My Face On Them / My Vase Faces / My Face Vases”

“Sure…” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh I’ll Find Something To Do With Them / Anyway You Wanted Help With Your Phone You Said”

“Abso-tutely!” He perked up. He got a little taller. “I’ve been figuring it out myself, and I’m getting savvier by the minute. Impressive, eh?”

“LMAO Sure”

“Here, we can– er, waltz by my room if you want, and you can show me some of your favorite whatchamacallits you set up on these things. If you’d walk with me?”

“Oh With Pleasure Tennycakes”

He grinned at the name as he did with nearly all the things she called him. He was so… so easy A shocker for a guy that was supposed to be influencing others instead of being influenced himself.

The music of the dojo faded, and Queen let out a relieved sigh.

“What was that for?” Tenna asked.

“Oh Just That Music Is Gone Now”

“Oh, I feel ya, I feel ya,” he nodded. “Can’t stop listening to it myself, it gives me this… giddy feelin’, y’know? Y’know? I mean, I wrote it myself even, for my show, for the romantic bits, and I can’t help but feel like there’s something I’ve been missing out on for so long–”

“What Are You Talking About LMFAO / That Shit Was Kinda Grating”

“Wh– huh?” He got a lot smaller that time. “B-but… it’s… I made it, it’s special…”

“Your Opinion Ig / Cute That You Made It But I Would Rather Have My Mixtape On Loop”

“Oh…” He came down to just above her height.

“Aw” Queen pet his cheek, which quickly turned a bright pink. “Just Because It’s Ass To Me Doesn’t Make It Ass All The Time / Besides You Compose That’s Cool / It Means You Can Make Something Better”

“Wow, ya think so?” He asked with a lick of sarcasm. But at the same time, it felt like a genuine question.

“Yeah I’d Let You Mess Around With My Mixtape / See What You Can Do To My Leitmotif”

“I’m… honored?”

“Anyway Let Me See That Phone Of Yours”

Carefully, Tenna drew it from the front pocket of his pants, pinching it between his fingers before handing it off to Queen.

“Aight Let’s See What Is Up”

What she’d just noticed, now that the dojo’s music had faded into the distance, is that Tenna’s phone had received a call. Or… at least the ringtone was playing. Constantly. Without the phone even indicating that anybody was calling at all.

“Girl Is Someone Blowing Up Your Phone”

“Come again?”

“Are You Expecting A Call”

“Ah! No, it just does that! I don’t know how to turn that feature off.”

“Girlie This Is Not A Feature”

Her brow furrowing, Queen pressed the power button. Uh oh.

Immediately she was greeted with the lock screen, or what should be the home screen, except it displayed a collage of flashy pop-up ads. 

“The Hell Is This”

Tenna waved it off. “Y’know, everybody needs to buy out ad space these days. It’s fine, I’m used to commercials.”

Cringing, Queen narrowly avoided clicking on the ads (as she often did, as they were her most annoying subjects) to swipe the screen, and was greeted with… another lock screen.

“Excuse Me You Have Two Lock Screens Now”

“Extra privacy protection! Sweet, right?”

“Uh Huh”

Half-expecting a third, Queen swiped again and was finally greeted with Tenna’s home screen. Except. Oh. It shouldn’t look like this.

First of all, the background. It was something Queen would never think Tenna would consciously download and set as his background picture, if he even figured out how to do that at all. Seriously, a heavily pixelated eye-bleeding picture of some defunct car from the 90s, with arrows and circles and text in every font surrounding it? In GIF form?? Even she didn’t have a GIF file for her desktop background.

She could barely hold in her crazed laughter.

“What??? What????!” Tenna shouted, exasperated.

And not to MENTION! The time displayed was all glitchy, there were more pop-ups lining the screen, and the apps? The apps? Even Queen knew better than to download these mobile games. These were bottom of the barrel, something Tenna would have to dig to find, or otherwise have to click something very, very, wrong. And it seems he did, for there were plenty more apps, most relating to some kind of fake currency, ripoff companies, and other sketchy sources.

“Is” Queen stuttered between wheezes. “Is This The Same Fucking Phone I Gave You”

“Yes, and I cherished it!!” Tenna said, his lip quivering.

“Damn Apparently Not / See There Are These Things Called Viruses / And I Think You Downloaded Like 50 Billion Of Them In A Single Day”

“Wha– I didn’t, honest!” He threw his hands up in the air. “I’m just… unlocking more features! These electric mails, they’re sending me more features in the mail, which was really kind of them to do for me, they’re helping me out!”

“Antony I Can Barely Scroll On This Wretched Thing”

To prove it, she opened Boing, which was some weird alternative search engine he’d somehow managed to install. It too was riddled with ads, and the keypad froze every two seconds when she tried to look something up to prove her point. The phone in her hands was heating up, almost scalding, and once the search results took their damn time to load, the screen froze and flashed and glitched when she tried to scroll. When she attempted to click one of the links in the results, it instead instantly beamed her to some obviously malicious link, which she hastily clicked out of. It did that about five times before it actually opened the site, and before it had even finished loading twenty pop-ups were hogging the screen. And that damn ringtone was still playing.

She just held it up to him, not saying anything, just raising her brows with her lips a thin line.

Tenna fumbled for something to say.

“Uh… amazing what technology can do these days, r-right?”

She took a second to respond. Her screen displayed a spinning hourglass, which she never had to do because she always had something to say.

“Sure”

They’d made it to his room in the castle, and she gestured for him to open the door.

“Y-yup! Right this way!”

She hadn’t seen the inside of his room yet. Although, upon looking at it, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d been there before… Memories of visits to the Dreemurr household flooded back, her pattern recognition software matching the decor here to the decor of then. His taste really hadn’t changed much.

While the scrolling star walls had been refurbished, and the tiles had been replaced, shinier than ever, there was still plenty of old things to gawk at. He’d seemingly been unpacking, bringing back well-loved and worn down decor from his room backstage. The floor was covered with a warmly colored shag carpet, fresh out of the 70s, and it still had that old paper smell. In the corner was a large double-king sized bed, fit just for him, with a puffy quilt and yellowed pillows. His dresser and desk sat close to it, with a carved wooden chair with a deflated cushion, which sat in front of a large mirror fit for a TV star, with lightbulbs and old photographs to complete the look.

To be honest, she had to admire the commitment.

“You like it?” He asked, slicking back his antennae as his confidence grew. As did he. He stood almost to his regular height, many heads taller than Queen. At times, he would shrink for simplicity’s sake, but it looked like he couldn’t help but show off in front of her.

“I love what that little prince did with the place, don’t you? It looks just like my office at the studio!”

“Oh Yea I Remember You Lived At Work You Weirdo”

His smile tightened, but if he was actually upset, he didn’t show it.

“My job’s my life, y’know! Or, rather, it was… it’s on hiatus! Tune in later for exclusive behind the scenes footage of TV Time and for more info on our upcoming production dates!”

She laughed, not really at him, but with him. For him? He loved to dance, and dance around the subject he did. It was entertaining nonetheless, like he was her own personal court jester. And King barely let her get a turn with his court jester back then.

Pleased with her reaction, Tenna waltzed around his room.

“I could even give you a tour, reserved only for our most esteemed guests!”

“Oh Did I Win A Free Tour”

“Sure thing, it comes with… being my friend! Hah! Here, lemme show ya ‘round!”

His trembling hand ghosted the small of her back as he led her around. His room was pretty much the same size as hers, so there wasn’t much they could actually walk around.

He showed her the things she’d already scanned when she came in, but he seemed enthusiastic to share, so she listened. There was something about the way he talked when he was with her that really scratched that itch in her head for royal groveling. It was the way he was so desperate for attention, and so giddy when he got it, it seemed like it could energize him for months. While she was quite the yapper herself, it was… fun, in an explorational way, to interact with someone that just wanted to talk to her. With her.

“An’ here’s the special shelf where I keep all my favorite records!” Tenna bragged, sliding a board to the side to reveal his collection. “I play ‘em all on this here turntable, an’ she still makes ‘em sing like it’s nothing!”

“Woah Mama That’s A Deep Cut If I Ever Saw One”

“Yeah, you… can listen to anything yourself, but I like this much better! There’s something about that– that feel of the record, that you’re holding this music in your hands, and it’s yours. I never got the switch to digital, I don’t know if I could even keep up if I tried…”

“Are You Kidding” She pulled out an album, removing the record as she sniffed the sleeve. “Physical Media Is All The Rage Nowadays Actually”

“You’re kiddin’!”

“Am Not / I Am Awesome I Know But Some Lightners Realized That Digital Media Kind Of Doesn’t Exist When You Get It From Some Other Service / They Like To Take It Away Randomly LOL / So You Can Actually Own The Things You Buy If You Go Physical”

Tenna brightened so much the rest of the room dimmed.

“That’s– that’s gotta be crazy talk, you’re pullin’ my leg!”

“I Most Certainly Am Not / But Now I Am LMAO”

Playfully, she wrapped her hands around his leg and tugged. And apparently, she really underestimated how off of his guard he was, because he toppled right over.

“Eek!”  

“Oh Whoops LOL / You OK Dude”

“U-uhm…” Goodness, he looked pathetic.  He was shuddering all over, and his bright white screen dimmed to a dull pink. “Uh…! Well, not every day I get… suplexed! Heh…”

“That Wasn’t A Suplex Want Me To Show You”

“NOPE!! I’M OKAY, POSI-TRULY NOT!” He quickly stood and dusted himself off, and Queen started to feel bad for him. Almost. She couldn’t quite tell if he was being honest with her or not. But she still wanted to dispel the awkwardness anyhow.

“Soooooooooooo” She said, drawing it out as much as she could. “Have You Tried Digging Into The Wall Yet”

“Have I tried doing what?” 

“Oh You Know / Really Getting Your Money’s Worth Out Of This Castle” She pointed to the far wall, in the opposite direction from her room. “Like If You Dug In There You Could Get More Space / And If You Dug Into The Floor You Could Get A Nice Conversation Pit”

Tenna slapped his knee. “Now that’s something I haven’t heard about in a long time! I didn’t know this generation even knew about those.”

“Oh They Are Fascinating / I Would Love An Awesome Hole In The Ground / My Son Would Love One He Is Such A Shovelpilled Digmaxxer”

“He’s a… okay, I’m not going to get that one, am I?”

“No”

“Well… that’s an idea! Golly, I haven’t had one of those in so long, the studio got it removed a while ago, but we used to spend all our time in there, chatting it up and dealing–”

“We”

“We! Me and–” he cut himself off. “Erm… business partners. Clients, employees, the like! Nobody important…”

“Uh Ok” She turned, scanning the desk’s table. No computer. “Well You Remember What I Came For Did You Not”

Tenna shuddered, shaking himself out of some kind of stupor. “Er… oh, yeah! My cellular phone.”

“Yeah LOL Your Phone” The way he was so stupid was so cute.

“So, Queenie, let’s take another look at it, maybe we could undo some of the features and–”

Instantly she chucked it behind her, where it was obliterated into a tiny explosion.gif. 

“WHA–” Tenna shot up to the ceiling. “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! YOUR GIFT–”

“Tenny Wenny That Thing Was Unsalvagable”

“B-BUT–”

“Breastie You Overloaded It With Viruses In Under 24 Hours / Mama Needs To Teach You Some Skills Before You Get Your Broadcast Hijacked Or Something”

That immediately shut him up, and he shrunk little by little as he calmed.

“Am I… am I really gonna get to learn new tech– with you– after all these years?”

“Darn Tootin” His way of speaking was rubbing off on her. From nowhere, she pulled a sleek laptop, one just like her in the Light World, and set it triumphantly on the desk.

“Queenie…” Was he blooming again?

“Now Sit Your Fat Ass Down Grandpa / Queen Is Gonna Teach You Some Typing Wow That Sounds Like The Title Of A Fanfic”