Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Pangi checks his phone mid-stream, at the very top of his notifications lies a message sent to his business email. He doesn’t bother unlocking his phone, figuring it’s just another crypto company offering to sponsor him for as little money as they can get away with, as long as he tells his audience to sell their souls to them. He’s been getting a lot of those emails recently.

He tosses his phone face-down on the desk and continues his stream. 

Two hours later, eyelids heavy and mind exhausted, Pangi says goodbye to his chat and wraps up the stream. He picks up his phone from his desk and, before he can instinctually open Twitter like he normally does, the notification from earlier flashes across his lock screen, still unread. 

With a sigh, he decides he might as well check his business email before beginning his daily doomscroll, and opens his email app. He’s expecting to find yet another email asking him to promote a new cryptocurrency, but when he checks his inbox, he’s met with an email address belonging to a YouTube channel he not only recognizes, but watches from time to time.

Pangi is suddenly a lot more interested. 

He opens the email and his eyes skim through the long paragraphs of text. 

It’s an invitation, Pangi realizes. 

The channel—mostly famous for its odd-one-out videos—is reaching out to ask if he’d like to be a contestant in one of their upcoming episodes. They’re not only offering to fly him out to their studio and cover accommodations, but if he wins the challenge, there’s also a cash prize he’ll be able to take home with him.

Pangi blinks, rereading the last part just to make sure he’s not going crazy.

Pangi knows he’s not an incredibly well-known content creator, especially outside of the minecraft space, so he never would have imagined something like this one ever coming his way.

Pangi fumbles to check his calendar, and confirms he’s completely free the day of filming. He’s tempted to agree right then and there, but he stops himself. He knows he has to read the details of the invitation instead of just skimming it, in case they’re asking him to kill somebody. Or something.

He scrolls down to the more detailed part of the email, and begins to read. 

It’s set up like the channel’s typical odd-one-out videos. A group of people all share a trait, except for the “odd-one-out,” who the contestants need to vote out so they can win the cash prize for themselves. If the faker stays until the end without getting voted out, that means they alone will win and get all the money. However, if the others manage to vote out the faker before the end, they all get to split the prize money and the faker gets nothing.

Pangi hums to himself as he scrolls through the email. He’s watched enough of their videos to get the general idea of the challenge, but the refresher is nice regardless.

His eyes skim along until they land on the topic of the video: 6 couples versus 1 fake couple.

Pangi’s eyes widen. Written underneath, it reads:

We have contacted your business partner, Lukey, to be your partner for this role, should you choose to accept. 

There’s more information below on the logistics of the game, but Pangi’s mind is still stuck on one fact: they want him to pretend to date Lukey for a video.

Pangi’s stomach twists with a feeling he can’t place.

His first instinct is to say no. He’s committed to the bit, sure—a top-tier queerbaiter, even—but this feels like a lot. Him and Lukey, pretending to be a couple on camera? That’s crazy.

However, he stops the finger drifting to the reply button when his eyes catch on the prize pool for the video.

$4,000.

On second thought, Pangi thinks it would be really funny for him and Lukey to try and convince real couples that they’re dating for a video. And his change in opinion is definitely not swayed by the cash prize. Not at all.

Decision made, he swipes out of the email and opens Snapchat. He’s a good friend, and he wants to make sure Lukey’s comfortable with it as well before agreeing to anything.

He clicks on Lukey’s contact—at the very top because they talk all the time—and clicks video call. Lukey picks up after the first ring, which Pangi expects, especially since they haven’t had their daily FaceTime yet.

“Hi Pangi!” Lukey greets, waving his hand at the camera. “I’m live by the way.”  

Pangi curses himself internally. Of course Lukey is live, he always streams much later into the night than Pangi does. 

“Hey Lukey,” Pangi responds. “When you finish your stream, can you check your business email for me?”

On screen, Lukey’s brow furrows. It’s subtle, but Pangi notices. He thinks it’s cute. Totally platonically, of course.

“Sure dude,” Lukey says, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll let you know when I do.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

They say their goodbyes, and Pangi ends the call. He pushes himself up from his chair and stretches, arms raised over his head as he checks the time. Still kind of early—by Lukey standards, anyway—so he figures his stream will go on for a few more hours. He always stays up way later than Pangi. 

Pangi walks over to his bed in the side of his room away from his streaming setup. He decides that he’ll just go to sleep and talk with Lukey tomorrow, since Pangi prefers to have 8 hours of sleep every night so he doesn’t feel like death in the morning. 

He changes into some old clothes, plugs in his phone, and climbs into bed. Sleep doesn’t come easily. He shifts around for a while, rearranging his pillow more than once. He’s restless, definitely not because of the email or anything. That would be crazy.

Eventually, though, he drifts off into a comfortable sleep.

—

When Pangi wakes up, it’s slowly. Sunlight filters through the window, warm and soft against his face. He lies in the comfort of his bed, mind blissfully blank. 

Until, that is, he remembers.

In an instant, he jolts upright, last night’s memories hitting him all at once like a freight train.

The email from the YouTube channel asking if he can fake date one of his closest friends for a video. Calling Lukey to get him to check his own business email. And, of course, the prize pool. Four thousand dollars is a lot of money, and he only seriously considered it because he knew he and Lukey would actually be able to pull it off.

(And maybe, just maybe, because it means seeing Lukey in person again.)

Pangi’s not stupid, he knows how other people see them. He and Lukey are just friends, sure, but when enough people insist you act like a couple, maybe it’s worth listening to if it means it can make you some good money.

Pangi groans as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes sluggishly and runs a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. Normally, he’d check his phone the moment he woke up, but today, he hesitates.

Which is ridiculous. He knows Lukey. Knows him better than he probably should, considering how recently they met. Lukey lives for stuff like this. It’s chaotic, funny, and would make an excellent story for the future. There’s no way he wouldn’t be into it.

Still, Pangi can’t help but worry.

Despite himself, he grabs his phone from the nightstand. His screen lights up with over a dozen notifications from Lukey.

He raises an eyebrow and taps one of them, opening his messages. (Absentmindedly, he thinks he and Lukey should choose one app to message on instead of switching between Snapchat and IMessages all the time.)

The oldest unread message greets him first: 

Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking for the game plan.

No, what do you think Pangi? Or What an interesting business proposal. Just straight to the point. Pangi appreciates that. It eases the flicker of doubt in his mind immediately. 

He skims through the rest of Lukey’s messages, but ultimately decides it’s too early to process whatever convoluted strategy Lukey's been cooking. Instead, he taps the FaceTime icon.

Lukey picks up almost immediately. 

Pangi blinks, surprised that Lukey's even awake, but he figures Lukey probably just hasn’t gone to bed at all.

Lukey doesn’t bother with a greeting. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he says, sounding far too serious for the situation. “I think it’s imperative we discuss our strategy for this video in depth immediately."

Pangi just stares at him.

Lukey holds the act for maybe four seconds before he bursts into giggles, unable to keep a straight face. The sound makes Pangi smile tiredly. “Good morning, Lukey.”

Lukey gets his giggles under control, but Pangi can still hear the amusement in his voice when he responds. “Good morning, how are ya, dude?”

Pangi pushes himself out of bed, rubbing at his eyes again. “Pretty good, I can’t lie. I see you found the email I mentioned.”

On Pangi’s screen Lukey nods, and it’s only then Pangi notices the butterfly knife resting against Lukey’s lips. Pangi rolls his eyes. Someone really needs to take that thing away from him. 

“It’s crazy,” Lukey says, flipping the knife around in one hand. The metallic clicks are soft but distinct through the speaker. “But I’m so down. I think it’d be hilarious.”

Pangi hums in agreement as he makes his way to the kitchen to start on coffee. “Yeah. Plus, we could win a lot of money.”

Pangi sets his phone on the counter, leaning against the wall to make sure he’s in frame, and makes his way over to the coffee machine. Lukey’s voice from the phone speaker is quieter from where Pangi stands away from his phone, but he can still make out what Lukey is saying. 

“We do need a plan though,” Lukey insists, and Pangi is inclined to agree. “We can’t go in there all willy-nilly, the margin for error would be too high.”

Pangi hums, but he isn’t exactly paying attention. He watches as coffee slowly pours down into his mug and lets Lukey’s voice fill the room as pleasant background noise. 

The coffee drips slowly into his mug, and once it’s full, he picks it up with both hands, smiling at the warmth even though the morning isn’t particularly cold.

He only fully tunes back in when he hears his name.

“Pangi?” Lukey’s looking at him from the screen, still idly spinning the butterfly knife between his fingers.

Pangi raises a brow and takes a sip, making a questioning noise.

“I was asking about your preferences for pet names,” Lukey says, tone innocent. “Anything you’d like? Baby? Honey? Amore?”

Pangi chokes.

He sputters, coughing hard as his coffee goes straight down the wrong pipe

“I think you can just call me Pangi,” he says once he’s recovered, aiming for nonchalance. He hopes it lands that way, but judging by Lukey’s amused expression, it absolutely doesn’t.

“Of course, amore,” Lukey purrs, a smug grin on his face. Pangi rolls his eyes, but smiles.

He grabs his phone and walks to the dining table, sipping coffee along the way. “Okay,” he says, settling into a chair. “What do we want our plan to be?”

Lukey’s grin widens. “I thought you’d never ask.”

They manage to stay focused for about half an hour before getting completely derailed. But in that time, they actually make good progress. The first thing they do is agree that the best lies are built on half-truths, and that referencing things they’ve done together on The Realm will make their story a lot easier to improv if the others start asking questions they haven’t rehearsed.

Their story is this: They met through their work, clicked right away, got to know each other over a couple of months, and then Pangi asked Lukey out when Lukey visited him in the Netherlands. For their first date, they each planned something. Pangi picked a wine tasting at a wine cellar (with the unspoken agreement that they’ll skip the part where Bad held Lukey at gunpoint and Pili flirted with both of them), and Lukey planned a private dinner at a fancy restaurant. Their second date was a walk along the beach. It went well. Really well. So they made it official, right before Lukey had to fly back home, and they’ve been long distance since then.

Pangi tries not to linger too long on how easy it is to picture all of that. Or how his stomach flips a little when he imagines Lukey smiling at him across candlelight.

They also talk about boundaries. It’s likely the other contestants will expect a kiss at some point, like some kind of proof. They agree they’re okay with that. 

Pangi tells himself it’ll be fine. He’s kissed a male friend before, didn’t feel anything, and this won’t be any different.

It has to be the same.

(He doesn’t let himself question why he feels the need to reassure himself.)

Eventually, they end their FaceTime so Lukey can get a nap in (Pangi was right, the man still hasn’t slept), and Pangi is left sitting at his dining table, wondering what exactly he just got himself into.

He opens his phone to finally email the channel back with confirmation that he’ll be attending with Lukey. 

They will be winning the prize money. He’ll make sure of it.

—

The next few days pass uneventfully. They still call each other every day, sometimes joking about their supposed relationship, but for the most part, they avoid bringing up the video. Instead, their conversations are filled with excitement about seeing each other again in person.

Eventually, the day of their flights arrives. Both of them head out from their homes, en route to the city the filming studio is located in.

Pangi’s flight is exactly what he expected. It’s boring, cramped, and not at all comfortable. While the studio was generous enough to cover tickets for him and Lukey, they clearly were not generous enough for first class. Being the six-foot humble feminist he is, he spends most of the flight shifting in his seat and wishing he had more legroom.

By the time he lands, it’s already later than planned. He was supposed to arrive before Lukey, but mechanical issues delayed his flight by nearly two hours. Which means Lukey landed almost an hour ago and, logically, should already be at the hotel.

But when Pangi steps into the arrivals section, dragging his carry-on behind him and skipping baggage claim, he stops in his tracks.

Lukey is waiting for him near the exit, leaning against a pillar with one hand in his pocket and a stupid little grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Pangi breaks into a smile and walks straight into Lukey for a hug. It’s brief but warm. 

“Hey dude,” Lukey smiles as Pangi pulls back.

"You waited?" Pangi asks, in place of a greeting.

“Of course I did.” Lukey puts a hand over his chest in mock offense. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

Pangi groans and lightly punches him in the shoulder, heat rising to his face. He knows there’ll be a lot more of that over the next few days, so he doesn’t bother protesting. Instead, he stretches his arms up over his head with a groan. “Dude, my back is killing me. Sucks they didn’t give us first class.”

Lukey tilts his head, playing dumb. “Wait, I got first class. You didn’t?”

Pangi drops his arms and stares at him. “What?”

Lukey grins. “Such a shame. My seat was so comfortable. I had free wine and everything.”

Pangi, realizing Lukey’s lying to him, resists the urge to punch him in the shoulder again. “Whatever,” he says, rolling his eyes and reaching for his suitcase just for his hand to be swatted away by Lukey, who grabs his suitcase for him.

Pangi allows it, assuming he’ll just carry Lukey’s suitcase for him, before he notices Lukey’s things are nowhere to be found. Pangi tilts his head questioningly. “Where’s your stuff?” 

Lukey’s face shifts immediately into mild annoyance. “Okay, no. Listen. This is insane. The airline lost my luggage. I’ve done, like, a million PR trips and this has never happened before. But this trip? Of course they lose it the one trip I don’t have a millionaire willing to buy me a new wardrobe.”

Pangi makes a face. “Ugh, that sucks man.” 

Lukey nods. “I think I’ll just die, honestly.”

“Oh my god, you dramatic fuck.” Pangi levels him with an unimpressed look. “If you’re gonna whine about it, you can just borrow some of mine until we figure something out.”

Lukey’s face immediately goes soft. “Aww, thanks man.”

He turns and heads toward the row of taxis waiting just outside the terminal, Pangi trailing behind him. “You think the hotel room they booked us has two beds?” Lukey asks as he hoists Pangi’s luggage into the trunk of one of the cabs.

Pangi laughs, stepping in a little closer and casually slinging an arm around Lukey’s shoulder. “I hope not,” he says, grinning.

Lukey chuckles and shrugs him off. “You’re a freak,” he giggles, sliding into the backseat and giving the driver their hotel address.

He takes the seat on the right hand side, and without saying a word, Pangi slips into the middle seat, close enough that their arms press together from shoulder to elbow. Lukey doesn’t comment on the fact that there’s a completely open seat on the left, just launches straight into a story about the guy he got stuck next to on the plane.

And Pangi does try to listen, but between getting up early and spending all day travelling, he’s exhausted. He knows Lukey is more accustomed to flying and late nights because of his PR events and generally terrible sleep schedule, but Pangi isn’t the same. His eyelids start to feel heavy as he listens to Lukey speak, trying his best to stay awake.

Lukey must notice though, because he stops talking and turns to look at Pangi.

“Aw, is poor Pangi sleepy after one day of travelling?” Lukey asks, mockingly. 

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Pangi yawns.

Lukey snorts and checks his watch. “Drive to the hotel’s gonna be a little over an hour. You’ve got time to nap, if you want.”

“I might, honestly,” Pangi mumbles. “I’m tired as fuck.”

Lukey nods in understanding. “I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

With nothing left to fight off the pull of sleep, Pangi lets his eyes flutter shut. After a brief moment of hesitation, he leans his head onto Lukey’s shoulder.

He expects Lukey to make a joke of some kind, but he doesn’t. Instead, his hand slowly moves from where their arms are pressed together, to the top of Pangi’s head, and he lets his fingers run gently through his hair.

Pangi’s too tired to react. He just sinks into it, letting the motion lull him further, until the rest of the world slips quietly out of focus.

—

He’s woken up by someone jostling his shoulder. He’s still mostly out of it, but he can hear a voice speaking, and he realizes the words are directed at him. “Dude, I’ll never get over how heavy of a sleeper you are. It’s crazy.”

“Lukey?” Pangi yawns, eyes still closed as he forces himself upright.

“Yeah man, we have to check-in to our hotel now, okay?”

Pangi nods, still out of it, but shifting out of his seat. He doesn’t even think to get his luggage from the back of the taxi before heading to the doors of the hotel. Lukey follows behind, not at all bothered to be carrying Pangi’s things.

They check in and head to their shared hotel room, which, they were told as they were given the keys, has two queen beds inside it. Pangi tamps down the feeling of disappointment that sits in his heart. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have to share a bed with Lukey.

They unlock the door to their room and Lukey hums to himself. “Wait, this is quite nice.”

Pangi nods, still shaking off the last of his nap haze. It’s late, and after a full day of travel, his body’s begging him to crash.

They change in silence. Lukey borrows an old shirt and pair of shorts of Pangi’s to sleep in, refusing to sleep naked, even after Pangi’s insistent begging. 

Once dressed, Pangi sits on his bed, watching Lukey move around the room, half-heartedly organizing the little they have. He looks completely natural wearing Pangi’s clothes, which for some reason makes heat crawl up Pangi’s neck. He doesn’t know why it messes with his head. It just does.

“Tomorrow’s going to be insane,” Pangi says, mostly to distract himself.

Lukey glances over his shoulder, grinning. “Yeah, man. You nervous?”

Pangi scoffs. “As if.” Pangi grins back at him. “I’m unironically going to put on the best show ever. You’re going to have to catch up.”

“You forget I’m literally an actor. I’m going to wipe the floor with you.”

“Sure man.” Pangi rolls his eyes.

Lukey stops whatever he was fiddling with and walks to stand in front of Pangi. From where Pangi’s sitting on the edge of the bed, he has to tilt his head to meet Lukey’s gaze.

“Please,” Lukey says, grinning. “You’ll be way too shy to commit to anything.”

Pangi sputters. “Excuse me? What are we even saying right now?”

The look in Lukey’s eyes tells Pangi he’s just teasing as he continues, “They’ll probably vote us off in the first round because of how awkward you’ll be. Truly tragic.”

“Not true! I’m touchy with you all the time and I’m never awkward.”

Lukey lifts a brow. “Sure, but you haven’t kissed me before, have you? How can you be certain that won’t be awkward?”

Pangi opens his mouth, then closes it again.

They did agree that kissing was on the table for the challenge. At the time, it felt easy to say. But now, actually thinking about it, it does feel a little different. Awkward, even. Not because he doesn’t want to, necessarily. Pangi is certain it doesn’t bother him. Just… because they haven’t before.

Lukey seems to be reading his thoughts, because he continues, “While I do this shit all the time, you probably don’t. So it might be a little awkward for you when the time comes.” There’s a sparkle in Lukey’s eyes that Pangi can’t quite place, but it looks devious. “Unless we practice beforehand, that is.” He says it mostly as a joke, his tone playful, but there’s a challenge beneath the words that Pangi doesn’t miss.

“You’re a freak man, you know that?” Pangi asks, keeping eye contact with Lukey. Maybe he’s tired, but instead of changing the subject and backing away, he doubles down, leaning forward as much as he can without falling off his place on the bed, grasping one hand in Lukey’s borrowed shirt for balance. “You’re a freak,” he repeats, but this time it comes out much fonder than he meant.

“If you’d prefer having our first kiss be in front of a bunch of strangers and a camera crew, then be my guest,” Lukey jokes, not moving an inch.

“Shut up,” Pangi groans, tightening his grip on Lukey’s shirt. He shifts his tone to match the challenging tone of Lukey’s voice. “You might be right. I’m pretty inexperienced, too. Guess I’d need someone who knows what they’re doing to show me how it’s done.” Pangi blinks his eyes at Lukey as sweetly as he can muster.

Lukey brings a hand up to cup the side of his face, thumb gently swiping against the skin of his cheek. All of a sudden, Pangi’s face feels like it’s on fire and his brain short circuits. 

“This okay?” Lukey asks, voice softer now, the teasing gone. 

Pangi’s throat feels dry. When he speaks, his voice has lost all of the challenge it held earlier. “Yeah,” he whispers, voice nearly cracking. He nods too, for extra measure.

Lukey leans in. Pangi lets his hand slide from Lukey’s shirt to the back of his neck, tilting his face up just enough so their lips meet perfectly. 

The kiss is soft, much softer than Pangi expected, and far too short. Before he can even register what’s happening, Lukey’s already pulling away, and Pangi’s hand falls from his neck, limp at his side.

As Pangi feels Lukey’s hand leaving his face, he finds himself wishing Lukey would lean back in again. Instead, Lukey just giggles. Not mocking, but stupid, happy giggles, his eyes terribly fond as they look at him. Pangi can’t help but smile in return. 

“There,” Lukey says as he stops giggling, a smile still evident on his face. “Now we’re ready for tomorrow.”

Pangi hums, watching Lukey head to his respective bed. “I guess we are.”

Lukey turns off the light. “Goodnight, man,” he says, so softly it makes Pangi’s chest hurt.

“Night,” he responds simply, equally as soft, getting under the covers. The grogginess from earlier is long gone, and instead, Pangi lies on his bed, wide awake, listening to the sound of Lukey’s breathing. 

He brings his hand to his lips, and finds himself wishing the kiss wasn’t so short.

—

Morning comes quicker than expected. Before they know it, Pangi and Lukey are standing outside a tall glass building, the sun just beginning to rise in the sky. 

Lukey looks nice today, Pangi notices. It’s annoying just how pretty he is. He’s wearing Pangi’s clothes once more, jeans and a tan sweater. His eyes shine beautifully in the morning light, and Pangi slows down his walk and takes his phone out discretely to take a picture. The view of Lukey in front of the sunrise and wearing Pangi’s clothes is something Pangi wants to keep forever. For no reason in particular.

Pangi puts his phone in his pocket, ignoring the slight shake in his hand. He swallows hard and quickens his pace until he’s back at Lukey’s side, shoulders brushing as they walk.

Pangi bites his thumb nervously. Now that the day has come, he’s a lot more anxious for filming than he thought he’d be. He knows there’s nothing to be nervous about, but the fact that this whole thing is entirely out of his comfort zone is freaking him out a bit.

Lukey seems to pick up on it. He bumps Pangi’s arm with his own and nods toward him. “Hey. C’mere.”

Pangi glances over and sees Lukey extending a hand.

“What?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.

“In case we run into another couple before filming starts,” Lukey says casually. “They’ll be more likely to believe us if we’re doing couple shit before the challenge even begins.”

It’s very clearly an excuse. Pangi can see that much. But he doesn’t call him out on it.

Pangi considers the offered hand. It's nothing, really, but his heart skips a beat annoyingly anyway.

He takes it.

Their hands fit together easily. Lukey’s palm is warm, his grip firm and grounding. His thumb brushes idly across the back of Pangi’s knuckles, a gesture that smooths the tension Pangi hadn’t even realized he was carrying.

Pangi doesn’t say anything in return, just gives their hands a small squeeze as they walk toward the doors of the building together. 

Inside, they’re greeted by members of the production team, who guide them into a side room and begin explaining how everything will work. There will be introductions, several rounds of voting, and eliminations. A lot of logistical things that Pangi doesn’t pay any attention to. If it’s important, Lukey will tell him later. Lukey’s listening intently, and Pangi knows he can count on him in case there’s something he absolutely needs to know. 

Lukey keeps their hands clasped throughout the entire discussion, and Pangi doesn’t let go.

Once everything’s been explained, the crew leaves them alone, most likely to check on the other contestants.

They stay in the empty room chatting comfortably, not anything about the game, just whatever comes up. As a matter of fact, they’re deep in conversation about the plot of the Walking Dead, when someone from production finally peeks in to call them out.

They’re led into a new room and seated side-by-side in front of a camera for their official “couple” introduction. They say their names, smile at each other, and still don’t pull their hands apart even once.

Once they film their introduction, the real fun begins. They’re brought into a wide open room with the rest of the couples, cameras stationed everywhere around the room. People are chatting, smiling, and most importantly, analyzing each other heavily, even though the game hasn’t officially started yet. They all want the cash prize.

“Alright, let’s all introduce ourselves!” one contestant says brightly once Pangi and Lukey walk in. It seems they were the last to arrive. The contestant loops her arm through her partner’s and smiles brightly, clearly excited to show off their relationship. “We’ll go first!”

She tells the group her name, and her partner introduces themself as well. They both give a quick rundown on their relationship, answer a few curious questions from the others, before the introductions move on to the next couple in the group.

Eventually, they get to Pangi and Lukey, and Pangi notices they haven’t stopped holding hands since they entered the building. Good for the appearance, he supposes. Although, his hand is starting to get really sweaty. 

Pangi waves his free hand to their small audience. “Yo! I’m Pangi.”

“And I’m Lukey,” Lukey smiles, bright and natural. To Pangi, it’s obvious he’s in his element. He thrives in situations like these. “We’ve been together for a few months now. Long-distance for most of it, though.”

There’s a few nods, some sympathetic hums for their situation. Someone asks, “So how did you meet?”

“Online,” Pangi says, remembering their conversations about their story. Since it’s based mostly on the truth, It’s very hard to forget. “We’re both content creators. We have similar work hours and a similar drive for the same passion, so we work pretty well together.”

Lukey nods along. “We are like, the power couple,” he boasts, which gets a few chuckles from everyone else.

Pangi rolls his eyes, but doesn’t comment.

They get through the rest of the people, one couple fumbling over the story of how they met, garnering suspicion from the rest of the participants. When everyone’s distracted, Lukey leans close to Pangi, lips nearly brushing his ear as he whispers, “This is why you gotta keep your story short and sweet, less room for error.”

Pangi giggles at that, before a voice yelling at them breaks their moment.

“Lukey!” a man yells, pointing at him. “Stop whispering sweet nothings in your boyfriend's ear, we’ve got two fakers to catch.”

Lukey jolts away from Pangi, putting his hands up in a caught gesture, releasing their clasped hands for the first time in the competition. “Yes sir!” Lukey giggles, failing to keep a straight face.

Once they’re all finished introducing themselves, the first round is over, and everyone gets to vote out the first couple they suspect may be the fakers. Lukey and Pangi immediately place their anonymous votes for the couple that was causing suspicion earlier, as does everyone else it seems, and the couple is voted out. 

The next round starts, and Pangi is already happy about their performance. Not last is awesome, although he would prefer to get first. So he and Lukey need to lock in.

Pangi and Lukey stick close, always touching in some way, even if it’s just the light brush of shoulders. Pangi tells himself it’s strategic, that people are more likely to believe they’re a couple if they naturally gravitate toward each other. But the truth is, Lukey’s presence is grounding, and Pangi doesn’t want to let go of that. They’re already really touchy by themselves, now Pangi just has an excuse for it to be as much as possible.

Some guy this round takes the initiative to start questioning everyone to test their stories, while his girlfriend nods along and adds on to the questions every once in a while. He mentions how intense questioning can back liars into a corner, and if they just ask enough questions, the liars will slip up eventually, assuming the first couple voted out weren’t the fakers. Pangi catches Lukey nodding along to his speech, and rolls his eyes. Of course Lukey would enjoy that strategy.

He begins to grill everyone harshly, and more than one pair stumble over a story at least once.

“So, Lukey,” the man questioning everyone says, once he gets to Lukey and Pangi. He hums to try and think of a question for a moment, before landing on, “Have you met Pangi’s family?”

Lukey sends a glare in Pangi’s direction, and Pangi immediately knows what this is about. He feels the need to defend himself, even if Bad isn’t his real life father. “Okay, he’s not that terrible, he’s just a bit overprotective.” 

“He is terrible, don’t even start,” Lukey says to Pangi, before turning to the rest of the group. “When I visited him in the Netherlands, this guy’s dad grilled me on literally every aspect of my life possible. He asked about my job, income, and why I think I deserved Pangi. That guy is crazy. Then he even tried to come with us on one of our dates to make sure everything went well.”

Pangi grimaces, but finds himself admiring Lukey’s ability to go with the flow in any situation, as Lukey continues to rant about Bad to the crowd. Pangi likes that about him.

Once he feels like Lukey’s gone on long enough, Pangi interrupts Lukey’s rant with, “He likes you though, he’s warmed up to you a lot.”

There are some coos from the other contestants, and Pangi notices a blush rise up on Lukey’s cheeks.

“Okay,” the question man says, “So you’ve visited the Netherlands. Was it hard to navigate around while not knowing the language? Or did you have Pangi with you whenever you left the house?” Pangi doesn’t know what he’s trying to achieve by asking a question like that, but doesn’t care enough to dwell on it.

“Well, actually,” Lukey giggles, “It wasn’t difficult at all, I’ve been learning Dutch so–”

Lukey’s cut off by a chorus of “Aw”s from a few people. “Aw, Lukey,” Pangi whispers to him, quiet enough so no one else can hear. “How sweet of you to learn Dutch all for me. I appreciate it,” he says sarcastically. 

“You’re evil,” Lukey responds.

They get grilled on a few more oddly specific things, answering everything flawlessly. The questioning moves on to the next couple, and soon enough it’s voting time again. Lukey and Pangi agree to randomly choose one of the couples that fumbled during the questioning, and once everyone votes, the next couple is eliminated.

As the rounds go on, people start getting more relaxed, doubting the impostors are still present in the group. One couple gets voted out after a particularly awkward mix-up about birthdays. No one except Pangi and Lukey know if the fake couple is still in or not. They all just have to wait until the final round.

It’s a new round, and people are arguing about who the fakers are on the other side of the room, but Pangi’s too focused on Lukey’s shoulders, warm and relaxed under the arm he’s slung around them, to care. The way Lukey occasionally bumps their shoulders together, or lets Pangi sling an arm over his shoulder, or lets Pangi’s chin rest on his shoulder during a lull in the game, is distracting him from actually participating in the challenge like he’s meant to.

He’s supposed to be acting, and yet somehow this just feels... easy. Comfortable. Natural in a way that’s almost unnerving. He’s always been touchy with Lukey, but it’s never gone this far before.

He looks to the side at Lukey’s face and Lukey looks back at him and smiles, a fond look in his eyes.

Someone, Pangi hasn’t really been keeping track of everyone’s names, groans loudly while looking at Pangi and Lukey. “Can we vote these two out just for being insufferably in love?”

That gets a chorus of laughs. Pangi only tightens his arm around Lukey and grins. 

“Sorry,” Lukey says unapologetically. “We’re thriving.”

“No way they’re the fakers,” another contestant says, sounding almost certain. “You don’t look at someone like that unless you mean it.”

Pangi goes rigid against Lukey’s body. He can feel a shift in body language in Lukey too. He ignores it. They’re just really good at acting. Really good.

Everyone nods along, and goes back to discussing their theories about who’s left.

As the day goes on, they finally get to the last round. Other than Pangi and Lukey, only two other duos are left.

“I say we do one last test,” one of the remaining people suggests. “We’ve asked questions, compared stories, and whatnot. But there’s one thing we haven’t seen. I say we all kiss our partners, and if everything looks normal, then we call it, and we don’t need to do another vote.”

Well, Pangi thinks, they expected this to happen, and somehow, Lukey got them to “practice” it before today as well. So, when Lukey turns his head to Pangi and leans in, it's nowhere near nerve wracking. It’s just… nice. Their lips press together briefly, Lukey’s lips soft on his own.

For the moment, everything else falls away. The noise of the room and the cameras capturing every second. Lukey’s lips are soft and warm, and the way he smiles ever so slightly against Pangi’s mouth makes something flutter painfully in his chest. It feels real, and that thought alone makes it hard for Pangi to pull back when the kiss ends.

They pull back and just look at each other for a moment, an emotion Pangi can’t quite place swimming in Lukey’s eyes.

They must’ve put on a good performance, because no one bats an eye at them and they and the remaining people all agree they think they’ve caught the fakers, and to end the game.

The eliminated couples come back into the room for the announcer to reveal who the fakers were.

And when she reveals it was Pangi and Lukey, everyone loses their shit.

—

After the long day of filming, they’re back at their hotel, changed into soft sleep clothes and sitting on their separate beds, the room quiet except for the faint hum of the AC. Pangi’s legs ache from standing for hours, and he has a bit of a headache from how loud the room was for so long, but he can’t stop smiling when he thinks about everyone’s reactions after the big reveal.

“They lost their shit,” Lukey says, flopping onto his back with his arms spread wide. He’s grinning up at the ceiling, recalling the day. “I thought the one guy in the green hoodie was going to die when he found out.”

Pangi chuckles, leaning back against the headboard. “Yeah. The girl next to him almost fell over.” He shakes his head, the warmth in his chest settling heavier than he wants to admit. “They really believed us.”

“They had no chance,” Lukey says, rolling his head lazily toward Pangi. His grin softens into something quieter. “We were good. Like… really good.”

Pangi swallows hard and forces himself to nod. “Yeah,” he says, though it comes out a little strained. He picks at the seam of his blanket, trying to ignore the memory of Lukey’s lips against his own from earlier, the faint smile he’d felt during the kiss. 

“Hey, Lukey?” Pangi says, hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“You were smiling, during the part where we, um.”

“I was,” Lukey says easily.

“Why?”

Lukey shrugs. “Maybe I just like kissing you.”

Pangi forgets to breathe. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I like kissing you too,” Pangi admits, voice barely above a whisper.

Lukey shifts on his bed, sitting up so he can actually see Pangi’s face. “You do?”

Pangi nods once, then forces himself to meet Lukey’s gaze. “Yeah. I mean… How do I say this…” Lukey stays silent and lets him think. Pangi appreciates him for that. “I don’t know how to explain it but it's– it’s nice.”

Lukey gives him a terribly sweet smile, one that makes Pangi nearly melt. Fuck, he’s so cute. 

For a second, Lukey doesn’t say anything. Then he swings his legs over the side of his bed and crosses the small space between them. He stops in front of Pangi, a mirror of their position from the night before.

“Would you want to kiss again?” Lukey asks softly, voice careful, like he’s giving Pangi an easy out.

Pangi’s heart hammers. He knows he could say no. He knows Lukey would drop it instantly if he did.

But he doesn’t want to say no.

He nods. “Yeah. I do.”

Lukey’s smile is soft and genuine as he leans down, one hand braced on the bed beside Pangi for balance. The kiss is slower this time, with no need to keep it brief or “convincing” for an audience. Pangi melts into it, his hands clutching at the front of Lukey’s t-shirt, pulling him just a little closer.

When they finally break apart, Pangi’s lips are tingling, and he feels a little dazed. Lukey’s still close, close enough that their foreheads nearly touch.

“What do you think about maybe trying this couple thing for real this time?” Pangi asks, high on adrenaline after the kiss. “We’re already pretty good at it, I can’t lie.”

Lukey breaks out into a fit of giggles and Pangi can’t help but smile at him. Once Lukey’s calmed himself down he says, “I’d like that.”

Pangi smiles and pulls him in for another kiss.

Chapter Text

It’s late when the ringing of Pangi’s phone pulls him out of sleep. He almost ignores it, ready to sink back into the comfort of his blankets and let sleep take him once again, until he sees the name lighting up his screen. 

Lukey.

With a groan, Pangi pushes himself upright and reaches for his phone. They’d said good night barely half an hour ago, so he’s already preparing to scold Lukey for being clingy.

He unplugs and picks up his phone and is immediately met with the sound of Lukey’s giggles through the phone speaker. Pangi’s mouth softens into a smile as he flops back onto the pillows. Maybe he’ll wait to scold Lukey another time.

Pangi holds his phone to his ear, eyes falling shut. “Hi again, Lukey,” he greets, voice rough with sleep. He can hear Lukey’s giggles fizzle out over the speaker.

“Dude, guess what just got posted,” Lukey says instead of saying hi back. Pangi pouts, wishing they were video calling so Lukey could see it, and maybe correct himself and say hi to him like a normal boyfriend. Too bad he’s been stuck with a weird one.

Pangi wracks his brain, trying to come up with an idea in his sleep-hazy mind. “Uh, your Italy trip? The one you’ve been working on?”

“Okay, no,” Lukey sighs, amused. “You think I’d wake you up just for that, Mr. Pangolin?”

“Okay, well whatever you’ve woken me up for, it better be good,” Pangi complains, voice slightly muffled from where part of his face presses into his pillow, smiling at the nickname. “What is it?”

“The fake dating video.”

Pangi laughs into his pillow. “Oh my god.”

They’ve yet to tell their friends about the recording, let alone the fact that they’re actually together now. 

“Everyone’s going to lose their shit,” Lukey laughs, and Pangi absolutely agrees. If the strangers they met for the competition lost their minds, he can’t even imagine how their fans, much less their friends, are going to react.

When Lukey eventually hangs up, Pangi turns his phone on Do not Disturb. He has a feeling he’s going to be getting a lot of texts and calls, and he still wants his eight hours of sleep.

—

When Pili opens Twitter and sees half his timeline freaking out over Pangi and Lukey, he closes the app. He’s too much too tired to deal with whatever their gay asses have done to excite Twitter this time.

Instead, he opens YouTube to check what’s going on there, and immediately thinks, what the fuck?

At the top of his recommended is a video titled “6 Couples versus 1 Fake Couple.” And while that wouldn’t draw his attention on its own, Pangi and Lukey are in the thumbnail . 

Oh. So that’s what Twitter was losing it over.

Pili stares at the video, debating. It would be funny to react to on stream, sure, but his curiosity is already gnawing at him and he doesn’t think he can wait to watch it on stream. Besides, he’s streamed for thirteen hours today already, so he’s already graced the world with his presence enough for the day. If Twitch viewers get too much Pili Dtowncat in one day, they might explode from awesomeness. 

Really, he’s doing this for the people. So they don’t explode.

He clicks on the video. 

After an ad, the video begins. The very first thing that plays is a voice explaining the rules of the game, while images of the contestants flash across the screen in pairs. Lukey and Pangi are shown on screen, holding hands, and looking into each other’s eyes with the most in love looks Pili has ever seen.

Yeah, Pili thinks, remembering how he had to deal with the two of them at Twitchcon, that checks out.

The video continues, and the challenge begins. Pili already knows who the fakers are since he knows the queerbaiters personally, so it does take away a bit of the mystery of the video for him, but he keeps watching anyway. He misses them both a lot. 

As the video plays, he can’t help but be a little shocked at just how touchy Pangi and Lukey are with each other. Like, they were all over each other during Twitchcon, and he thought that was bad, but, as he watches Lukey rest his head on Pangi’s shoulder with their hands intertwined when they’re not even the center of attention, no one looking at them and barely in frame of the camera, he decides this is so much worse. He knows queerbaiting is Pangi’s favorite thing in the world, but this is crazy. 

Pili continues watching, feeling a spark of validation as one of the contestants complain about how insufferable they are, because, yeah, they’re terrible. He doesn’t actually know how he survived Twitchcon without killing them both. Honestly, he probably should have, because now they’re torturing a new set of poor innocent people. 

The video continues, and he groans as he sits through Pangi and Lukey talking about how in love they are and all the dates they’ve been on, and finally, after what feels like days, the video nears its end.

Pangi and Lukey are still in, and honestly, Pili is surprised they’ve made it this far. Yeah, they’re really good at pretending to be gay, but he’s seen enough of their zero chemistry dates on the Realm to know they aren’t that good. 

Then, one of the final contestants suggests everyone that’s remaining to kiss their partners just to make sure, as one final test. Pili giggles. Watching Pangi and Lukey queerbait a bunch of strangers has been pretty funny, but with the suggestion of kissing, he knows the game is coming to an end, and Pangi and Lukey are going to lose. They might be dedicated to the bit, but he doubts they’d be able to go through with kissing each other.

Pili watches them lean in on screen. 

Nevermind. He stands corrected.

He takes a moment to process what he’s seeing when the Lukey on screen smiles subtly, his lips still pressed to Pangi’s. 

“Oh,” he says out loud. They’re gay for each other. For real . He briefly wonders if they’ve figured that out themselves yet.

The challenge ends, the reveal is made, Pangi and Lukey are handed the prize money, and the video ends. And Pili, he has a hard time processing what he’s just watched. However, his two supposedly straight friends kissing is only the second most important part of the video.

First place, well, that’s the fact that Pangi and Lukey won a combined total of four thousand dollars.

He pulls out his phone, firing off the same text to both of them: Now that you’re rich, you owe me an ice cream at TwitchCon.

—

Tertel’s night has actually been going pretty well. It’s late, sure, but he’s been productive for most of the evening, completely editing a part of a video that he was dreading. He isn’t streaming tonight, which is helping. He’s always found it difficult to lock in on work while also trying to entertain an audience, so today he’s gotten a lot more done than normal. He’s proud of himself for that.

Feeling satisfied, he leans back in his chair and decides to take a break. As a little reward, he figures he’ll post a funny clip from the footage he was editing on Twitter, but stops in his tracks when he opens the app.

Tertel can’t believe what he’s seeing. Instead of his usual timeline, his entire feed is flooded with Pangi and Lukey. More specifically, Pangi and Lukey kissing. On the mouth. In high definition. What the fuck.

For a moment, he honestly thinks the pictures are Photoshopped. Then, he remembers who he’s dealing with, and how he’s seen Pangi and Lukey nearly kiss for the bit on several occasions and decides he should have probably seen this coming. 

He tries calling both Pangi and Lukey multiple times, and neither of them pick up. Which means, not only are they kissing on the internet without warning him first, but they’re also ignoring him. 

Right. Tertel sees where he stands. That’s fine, he didn’t care about them anyway.

There should be a support group for this , Tertel thinks. For people who have to endure their nonsense on a daily basis and don’t get any compensation. He can think of a few people, including himself, that would benefit from it.

He scrolls, trying to escape the onslaught of pictures and videos of his two friends kissing, but it only gets worse. All he sees is more pictures, videos, and now even edits of them with their lips pressed together. 

He sees one person talking about the video the kiss came from, a YouTube video where they try to trick couples into thinking they’re dating, and Tertel thinks to himself, genuinely who would subject themselves to Pangi and Lukey queerbaiting for an entire forty-five minute video? 

Turtle groans, shutting off his phone and leaving his setup to go lie face down in his bed. Every time he has to witness them together, he always thinks there’s no way it could possibly get worse, but he’s proven wrong each time. 

One day the bit is going to get so bad that they start dating for real, Tertel thinks. And when that day comes, he prays he won’t need to third wheel harder than he already is.

—

Zam hates them. Like actually, genuinely hates them. (Not really, she’s just going through the fave stages of grief right now.) 

She has to call Pangi’s number nearly a dozen times before he finally picks up. 

Pangi’s voice is rough with sleep when he answers. “Hey, Zam how are—”

“I hate you. I genuinely hate you. You didn’t even tell me. I had to find out through Twitter,” He complains, cutting him off. Zam doesn’t give him a chance to reply before ending the call. 

He cannot believe them. His sweet, sweet Pangi, kissed on the mouth by Lukey, and this is how He finds out? He actually cannot believe them. He’s about one minute away from doing something drastic. 

If Zam was in the room with Pangi and Lukey at the time, that kiss would have never happened. She would have made sure of it. She can think of at least ten people who would thank her for it too.

For a long moment, she just stares at her phone. All she wanted was to spend her evening scrolling Twitter, procrastinating on her editing, when she stumbled across the photo of Pangi and Lukey kissing. Which, to be fair, has given her an even better excuse to avoid her work, which is awesome, she will admit.

She went into detective mode and found that the YouTube video the picture is from is a challenge video where Lukey and Pangi try to convince a bunch of people that they’re dating for forty-five minutes. Which is insane, because if she gets tired after seeing them reply to each other on Twitter, how could anyone sit through that entire video without wanting to punch them?

Furthermore, since it was recorded as a YouTube video, that means the kiss couldn’t have been recent, since the team behind the video would need time to edit all the footage. 

So Pangi and Lukey kissed and just decided not to tell her.

She dials Lukey’s number. He picks up faster than Pangi did. “Yo, Zam! What’s up?”

“Hi Lukey! I hate you.”

He laughs awkwardly with his stupidly nice voice and responds, “Ah, I take it you’ve seen the video?”

Zam rolls his eyes and continues, “Look, I don’t know what evil plan you have with Pangi, but if you hurt him in any way, I will kill you in real life.”

“Aw,” Lukey coos. “Don't worry Zam. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I hurt him.”

Zam hangs up before Lukey can make himself sound any more charming. 

He is happy for them though, despite how he’s joking about hating them. He’s happy for whatever strange thing there is going on between the two of them. Even if Lukey is clearly evil and trying to steal Pangi away from him, he's glad they’re happy. 

However, Zam will be challenging Lukey to another arm wrestling match at Twitchcon to win Pangi back.

—

“You know what,” Pangi says, laying in his bed after the long day he just had.  “I think everyone reacted well.”

“Okay,” Lukey responds, voice crackling over the speaker of Pangi’s phone. “You weren’t the one that got a death threat from Zam, you don’t get to talk.”