Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Berdly was not homophobic by any stretch of the word, but right now, having lunch with his (somewhat friendly) rival and their two mutual friends, he was starting to think Susie and Noelle finally getting into a relationship may have unintentionally been equivalent to a plague being unleashed upon Hometown.

Well, it hadn't been all that recent, really - they'd gotten together not long after the stuff with the Dark Worlds had been resolved, and it had been well over a month since that had happened, but with the way they still looked at each other like they went on their very first date the day before, no one would ever guess.

Which quickly became a problem in group hangouts where there were people other than the two of them around, because suddenly Susie and Noelle were the only two people that had ever existed and Berdly was inadvertently forced to fraternize with his rival.

“Susie!” Noelle giggled sweetly, a high-pitched noise that would have been quite endearing in any other situation. “You're not supposed to eat the wax casing!”

“The hell is it there for, then?!” Susie huffed, grinning widely. “'Sides, it adds flavor!”

The bluebird picked at his very unappetizing-looking slice of pizza with a fork, scrunching his beak at the grease that glistened in the artificial lighting. He didn't know why in the world ICE-E's had become their designated group lunch spot, but he needed to make sure to object at some point. Democracy had been failing them for far too long - if Noelle went along with Susie's idea one more time even though Berdly knew she disliked the food at this place just as much as he did, he might go insane.

Plus, all the noise. Angel, the noise. He didn't know how Kris could handle it, with the two of them having the same sensitivities when it came to that. Every time he left the building, he felt like he'd been hit over the head with a gong while he was inside and was only now beginning to feel the side effects. In comparison, QC's was much more pleasant to have lunch at, despite the fact that it also had more patrons. At least at QC's you didn't have to hear the entire pizza-making process while you were just trying to enjoy your meal.

Speaking of his rival, they'd been hovering in his peripheral vision for quite a while now, almost seeming like they were deliberately trying to get his attention in the most vague way possible. When he turned to them with an unimpressed look, he was met with their typical “eyes hidden by bangs” deadpan look, though he felt like they were staring into his SOUL. He looked at his disgusting pizza, then back at the human.

“Do you want this?”

Kris nodded fervently, batting their eyelashes under their bangs as if in a plea. Berdly found that they sort of looked like a puppy, the way they were resting their hands on the table and waiting patiently. He pushed his plate their way.

His rival immediately swiped the slice off the plate and shoved half of it in their mouth, signing a lazy ‘Thanks.’ with their free hand. Berdly tried not to look too grossed out. How could Kris and Susie eat that? Noelle needed to raise her standards, if only a little bit. He had no issue with her dating Susie, but the least she could do was try to get her girlfriend to have more refined tastes.

“-so what do you nerds think?”

Berdly turned to look at Susie. She was looking expectantly at him and Kris, awaiting their reply. Before the bluebird could give the girlfriends a piece of his mind over the blatant disregard for their existence until then, Kris replied.

‘About what?’ they signed, seemingly feeling a lot more reasonable about the clear inconsideration than the bluebird would have felt.

“Who wins in a battle between the main Dragon Blazers team and one of each Critter in Critterkit!” Susie explained. “Noelle n' I think it's the Dragon Blazers team, but it's a hell of a question.”

‘Critterkit has God.’ Kris signed, then started fiddling with the straw of their drink.

“Well, the Dragon Blazers cast killed God in DB IV!” Noelle countered. “That's gotta count for something!”

“Right you are, dear Noelle!” Berdly chuckled. “But don't forget; Critterkit has multiple gods!”

“If they've done it once, they can do it again!” the reindeer insisted with an excited, somewhat manic grin. She was clearly very into this specific argument, and Berdly knew that Noelle being very into something meant that she'd done extensive research to stand her ground. He'd lost the battle before it even began.

“You know, it's quite funny how Kris and I are suddenly included in the conversation.” the bluebird snarked, using his jab as a way to hide the fact that he most definitely did not hear Susie's question because he was preoccupied with Kris's eating habits. “Honestly, we're overlooked so much in these hangouts lately, it's like we might as well not even be here.”

Berdly was being overdramatic, he was well aware of that fact, but he couldn't help but prod them further. It was the least they deserved, for consistently dragging him out to ICE-E's of all places.

“It's called “having a partner”, smartass.” Susie sneered with faux sweetness. “You should try it sometime. Maybe then you'll see how easy it is to fawn over someone so much everything else fades into the background.”

Noelle gazed dreamily at Susie with wide, sparkling doe eyes (literally and figuratively), looking an uncomfortable amount like a shoujo protagonist. The saccharine of it all made Berdly want to hurl almost as much as the deplorable food.

(And no, it was not jealousy he was experiencing. He'd tested it.)

“I have a partner.” he grumbled in response, maybe a little defensively.

Everyone seated at the table shot him a disbelieving look. He fluffed up his feathers, flustered. Never mind the fact that he'd lied through his nonexistent teeth; did his friends really have such little faith in him?!

“What?!” he snapped. Now he sounded really defensive. “I do!”

“You? A partner?! Hah!” Susie cackled. “What, does your reflection in the mirror count as a separate person all of a sudden?”

Kris snickered, which was to be expected, but surprisingly, Noelle giggled a little as well. Berdly shot her an appalled look. Oh, the horror! The betrayal!

“Noelle!”

“It was a little funny!” his cervine friend insisted.

“Nah, nah, I should be more fair to him.” Susie shook her head lightly, a grin plaguing her features. “Maybe he's been lucid dreaming so hard he's convinced it's real!”

Berdly glared at the saurian, cheeks burning with humiliation. He couldn't come clean now! What in the world was he supposed to say?! “You wouldn't know them, they go to another school”?! That's ridiculous! It's such an obvious lie, even Susie, oblivious as she is, would catch it! He needed something more believable.

Noelle swatted her girlfriend on the arm, still giggling like some lovestruck idiot.

“Don't be so mean!” she reprimanded lightly. “Remember the first time we entered the Dark World? I also thought that was a lucid dream!”

“Yeah, but you're smart enough to know the difference! That lonely little fuck wouldn't know fantasy from reality if it bit him in the ass!”

Berdly's brain, the wise, actually helpful part, told him to just admit he lied, that he was embarrassing himself. His pride did not allow him. So as a compromise, he screeched the first thing he could think of over the noise of the restaurant and Susie's wild cackling.

“KRIS AND I ARE DATING!”

As soon as the words toppled out of the bluebird's beak, an unsettling, almost eerie silence settled over the table. Susie paused halfway through taking a bite of her pizza, mouth agape as she stared at Berdly. A rogue slice of pepperoni slid off the greasy, disgusting food and fell on the table comically.

Berdly managed to fight off the overwhelming urge to slap his wings over his beak in horror. How the hell was that the first thing he could think of?! Him and Kris?! They were nothing more than his rival! The distant third place in class! Their intellect was far below his in every facet! Honestly, how absurd would that be?! Susie and Noelle would never believe that! Plus, Kris was right there! Why would he blurt out such a thing when they were right there?!

He needed to die. He needed to be struck down by the Angel itself stat. He needed the Roaring to actually happen. With every second that passed without a single damn person seated at that table saying anything at all, he was closer and closer to enacting it himself.

Belatedly, he noticed Susie and Noelle turning their heads to look at Kris with an agonizing slowness. He followed their gaze, perhaps a little too quickly in comparison. For a split second, the human seemed equally as surprised as them, before their face slowly melted back into the typical blank expression they tended to wear.

They sent Berdly a terrifyingly good impression of a fond, couple-ey sort of look and raised their hands to sign something.

‘Seriously, bluebird?’ Kris clicked their tongue, sighing playfully under their breath. ‘They weren't supposed to know yet.’

They calmly returned to their self-imposed task of bending the paper straw of their Juice (Red Flavor) into an unrecognizable shape, the ghost of a shit-eating smile etched across their face. The rest of Susie's pizza fell to the table with a splat and her jaw dropped even further, if that was possible.

Oh Angel above Berdly did not think this through.

“What-”

“WHAT????????”

Noelle's hesitant, high pitched question was quickly drowned out by her girlfriend's loud roar, the tone of which had landed somewhere between confusion, intense amusement, hysteria, disbelief and horror.

“…D-did I read those signs right, Kri-” Noelle tried again, her smile wavering.

“AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME?!” Susie bellowed, snapping her head towards Kris. The few patrons that were seated around them looked their way. Berdly ignored both them and the way his feathers had fluffed so much he'd likely almost doubled in size.

‘Sorry.’ the human signed lamely, now busy shredding a napkin into a neat little pile in the middle of the table. They did not look sorry at all.

“You think you know a guy.” Susie had already begun her spiel, draping herself over Noelle dramatically. Noelle made a noise oddly reminiscent of a rubber chicken being put through a hydraulic press. “In fact, you think you're besties for the resties with a guy. And then they start dating the goddamn Credditor bird-”

“I'll have you know, Creddit is actually a great place to gather information-”

“-and they - shut up, Berdly, this isn't about you - don't even let you know in advance so you can make fun of 'em for a while!” Susie finished, shaking her head in profound disappointment at Kris. “Wow. Wooooow.”

‘I wasn't ready.’ Kris signed briskly, rolling their eyes as if to say “jeez”.

“I-indeed!” Berdly interjected awkwardly. What was he doing. He needed to shut up. “They had told me to, er… keep the relationship under wraps. They're actually quite shy, you know.”

“What?” Noelle wheezed, voice so breathy it was more of a hiss than an actual word. Her “customer service” sort of polite smile, one she tended to wear when she was forced into awkward situations and wanted out as soon as possible, began to slip.

Susie slammed her left forearm on the table repeatedly, narrowly avoiding her long-forgotten slice of pizza. She was breathing heavily with the monumental effort not to laugh, and her face was scrunched up in amusement and delirium.

‘He wants me so bad it makes him look stupid.’ Kris nodded their head towards Berdly, smirking lazily.

Berdly let out an offended squawk, unable to prevent his face from heating up. He didn't say anything in response, though; whatever option he chose from his dialogue tree was sure to blow their cover, and it was far too late for him to stop now.

“What??” Noelle asked for the third time that noon, high-pitched like a referee whistle. Susie lost her inner battle and began cackling wildly yet again.

“Oh my fucking god.” the saurian moved to wipe a tear from her eye. Berdly could not for the life of him figure out if it was real or fake. “This is too good. Too. Good.”

“So! Um.” Noelle tried as Susie fought to regain her composure next to her. “How… How long has it been now?”

Berdly froze up, mentally filing through possible amounts of time that seemed feasible. Before he could squawk out an attempt at a believable answer, Kris beat him to it.

‘Three weeks as of yesterday.’

For the first time in his life, Berdly internally congratulated his rival. Of course! About three weeks ago, they'd had one of their typical Smashing Fighters hangouts at the Dreemurr residence, which Noelle and Susie were likely aware of due to Berdly casually letting them know that he'd won not one, not two, but three out of twenty-seven matches against Kris! That was perfect!

“…W-wow!” Noelle said, visibly surprised. It had seemed like she was going to follow that up with something else, but no words left her mouth afterwards.

“Nugget boy managed to keep quiet for three weeks?!” Susie hollered, hitting the table with her fist. “I call major bull.”

“It was a strenuous task, to be sure.” Berdly, for some asinine reason, was still dedicating all of his precious brainpower to keeping this lie going. His beak quirked into a fraction of a smirk as he said his next line. “But it was worth it to see m'theydy happy.”

The bluebird gauged his rival's reaction, smirk growing a little when Kris scrunched up their face in a way the bluebird didn't know they were capable of. Perhaps it was worth it to maintain the ruse, if it meant he got to openly taunt them like that.

“M'THEYDY?!?!?!” Susie screeched, almost delirious. She turned to Kris, now definitely teary eyed, and reached over the table to give their upper arm a solid right hook that made them wobble like a roly-poly. “And you just let him call you that????”

The human merely sighed, the sound somehow falling between dismayed and faux-dreamy.

‘Love's weird.’ they signed.

“You can say that again…” Berdly thought he heard Noelle mumble, but he couldn't be sure, seeing as her entire face was mostly hidden by her hooves.

“I can't fucking believe this.” Susie stated, smiling manically. “This can't- you've got to be fucking with me, dude!”

‘Not fucking with you.’ Kris signed, crossing their SOUL with their hand before they added ‘/srs.’

His rival had signed each character separately. Berdly suppressed a tired sigh, if only to keep up the ruse they'd for some reason both been fighting to maintain.

“Nope. Don't believe you at all.” Susie scoffed. “If it really is “slash S-R-S”, then riddle me this-”

What followed was a series of rapid-fire questions about Berdly and Kris's very real romantic relationship, clearly still in pure disbelief. His rival answered all of them at an absurdly fast rate, barely stopping to think between them and still coming up with an extremely believable answer.

“First date spot?”

‘At the lake. Berdly didn't know it was a date.’

“Favorite couple activity?”

‘Gaming together’

“Shoulda known. You share a Minecrap world?”

‘Obviously. Our beds are next to each other.’

“Pet names?”

‘I like “birdie” the most.’

“Who confessed first?”

‘Me. Duh.’

“How did you know you liked… him?”

‘Saw him do something cringy and realized with horror that I wanted to kiss him.’

“Hah, 'course that was how it happened.” Susie elbowed Kris harshly, but the human seemed content with it.

“What is happening…?” Noelle whispered under her breath, her eyes wide but her stare vacant as she read each and every one of Kris's signs and seemed to grow more and more distressed as it went on.

“Got one last question for you…” Susie said ominously, tapping the tips of her claws together like a cartoon villain. Berdly suddenly felt very much not at ease.

Kris gestured for her to ‘Shoot.’ very literally, via miming shooting a gun.

“…How was your first kiss as a couple?” Susie delivered the killing blow, grinning evilly. She'd been clearly saving that for last on purpose. “Actually, have you even had one? I doubt it. I can't imagine birdbrain's much of a kisser, heh.”

Berdly didn't even have time to wonder why in the world Susie was so incredibly confident in that, too focused on Kris's response. Would they make up another lie? Leave it inconclusive? Or would they finally give up and admit they were committing to a prank?

They held their hands up to answer, but ended up just placing them back down and drumming their fingers on the table, apparently drawing a blank.

“What, too shy all of a sudden, dumbass?” Susie sneered playfully, grinning at her best friend. She turned to look at Berdly and her grin suddenly felt crueler. “What about you?”

Berdly spared one last glance to Kris, trying not to appear too put on the spot, but all his rival did was return it uncertainly. Which was incredibly unhelpful. Had they already exhausted their dialogue?! They were doing so well!

Bah. He had to do everything himself. He cleared his throat.

“W-well… Y-you see-”

Berdly's alarm rang out, the bluebird jolting in place and fumbling with the phone in his wings to turn it off. He pushed his seat back and jumped out of it quickly, incredibly grateful for such an easy escape opportunity.

“Oh wow would you look at that my shift at the Librarby starts in five minutes hahaha!” he forced out hastily as he started walking off. “Goodbye everyone!”

Thank the Angel for the alarm he had set to notify him about the start of an event in his favorite gacha game. No one needed to know.

Well, except Noelle. Noelle knew. His best friend absolutely knew he was lying. But that was a problem for Future-Berdly.

Meanwhile, Present-Berdly rushed out of the restaurant, talons scraping on the floor and making an uncomfortable noise that he was too delirious to pay any mind to. He needed to get home and rethink his entire existence. Or, at the very least, decide how he was going to tell his friends he'd lied and that had been the first thing that came to mind.

[…]

Kris uselessly smothered their head with a pillow, trying to drown out the hysterical, vaguely demonic laughter of the entity that shared their body with them, currently locked in its cage. They failed, of course, seeing as said laughter was coming directly from inside their head.

(Dude, oh my god-) YOU wheezed, sounding as if doubling over with laughter, which the SOUL definitely could not achieve. (This is too fucking good-)

“Having a good laugh, are you?” Kris grumbled, making sure to sound as sarcastic as possible.

(The best, kiddo.) YOU cackled. (Oh, Jesus Christ, this is so much better than the festival.)

Kris bit back a groan. The festival felt like it had happened ages ago. The entity had roped them into taking Berdly as their date, them reluctantly going along with it both to avoid whatever fiasco would occur if Berdly actually tried to make going with him to the festival into a competition and to allow Susie and Noelle to have a little date without a third wheel being dragged along - they were a “real one”, after all. Frankly, they still hadn't forgiven YOU for that. Even if they did end up having a pretty decent time, all things considered.

(Got you thinking back to your little date, huh?) the entity teased.

The human flipped it off wordlessly, attempting to call Berdly on Bedlam for the umpteenth time. Finally, finally, the bluebird picked up, after definitely allowing it to ring for several seconds on purpose.

(Kris knew he wasn't busy. It was far too early for his Librarby shift, though the use of the alarm was a valiant attempt at worming out of the conversation, and he was never busy unless he was at his job(s) or studying with Noelle.)

“Salutations, my rival whom I harbor no romantic intentions whatsoever towards!” the very clearly rehearsed voice greeted, sounding more like a squawk than usual due to the layer of awkwardness and embarrassment. “Here to get beaten into the dust in Minecrap Sleepwars?”

Kris huffed playfully. He was really bad at acting normal after doing some majorly stupid shit (well, he was bad at acting normal in general, but especially in that case). Maybe that was hypocritical of them, seeing as they weren't the pinnacle of normalcy, either, but any opportunity to make fun of Berdly, internally or otherwise, was a good one.

“Care to explain what that was?” they asked, a teasing lilt to their voice.

The line was silent for a couple of seconds. Kris could almost feel the panic from the other side of the screen.

“What what was?” Berdly asked in the most inconspicuous way he could muster - which was to say, not at all.

“Don't even, Berdly.” the human told him with an exasperated sigh. “You know you suck at gaslighting.”

“Okay fine look.” Berdly immediately caved, sounding agonized. “I truly have no clue why I said that. Susan's jabs were growing frustrating, and… I said the first thing that came to mind.”

“The first thing that comes to your mind is dating me?” Kris teased.

Berdly made a series of impossible to identify noises, sounding extremely flustered. Kris bit their lip to avoid smiling, even though the bluebird wasn't around to witness it.

“Not like that in the slightest!” he snapped, before sighing. “It's just. You are a person that I know. And also not in a romantic relationship. And I am on decent terms with you. The way I rationalized it, it was more believable than merely saying “you don't know them, they go to another school”. By a nanometer.”

“Huh. That logic actually does track.” Kris mused. “Any idea what you're gonna do about it, though?”

“What I'm going to do about it?!” Berdly laughed humorlessly, maybe a little manic. “My dear rival, we're in this together now! This is no longer solely a me-problem!”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Unimportant.” the bluebird mumbled under his breath. Kris could hear shuffling coming from the other side. It sounded like… sheets of paper? “But we need a game plan.”

“What's stopping me from just telling them you instinctively lied 'cause you're a lonely loser and didn't wanna feel left out?” the human jabbed.

“Your deep enjoyment of pranking others.” Berdly countered instantly, as though he'd been waiting for that question. The shuffling increased.

“Fair enough.” Kris shrugged. They narrowed their eyes at the sound of paper ripping. “Dude, what the hell are you doing?”

“Devising a plan, of course.” he replied matter-of-factly. Now the scribbling of a pen could be heard. “Now brainstorm with me, since you insisted on calling me.”

“Seriously, why don't you just suck it up and come clean?”

“Because!” Berdly hissed pointedly. “I'm far too deep already! I can't just give up!”

“Sure, that makes sense, yeah.” Kris replied sarcastically.

“It does, does it not?!” the bluebird snapped from the other side of the line, fully missing the sarcasm. His scribbling turned into the noise of an eraser and the scrunching of paper. “Besides, you certainly didn't help by going along with it!”

“Well, what was I supposed to do, stay quiet?” the human snickered. “I love a good prank.”

“That's exactly the problem!” Berdly made a strangled noise like he was pulling at his own feathers. “Arghhhh, what are we going to do?!”

“You know, I really don't appreciate getting dragged into this.” Kris tutted.

Berdly's scribbling stopped for a while. Whatever he was using to write clacked onto the table as he sighed.

“…I apologize.” he murmured. “Even if you have some fault of your own.” he added between coughs.

“Yeah, fair enough.” Kris snickered. “Sorry about that. It was simply too funny.”

Berdly audibly scoffed from the other side of the line, harrumphing as he wrote. Kris allowed a wide smile of amusement to cross their face - it's not like he could see it anyways.

“Alright, fine.” Kris placed their phone next to them on their bed, leaning on a pillow. “Let's get this game plan started.”

(Look at you, resident weird kid!) YOU teased from the cage. (You're carrying that extremely difficult conversation like a champ!)

Kris rolled their eyes exaggeratedly. They didn't appreciate the patronizing tone, but they appreciated the bodily autonomy the entity's temporary prison gave them, at the very least.

“I'm glad we're finally on the same page.” Berdly said, hmph-ing proudly.

The line went silent. Kris had expected the bluebird to start firing ideas at them, but he said nothing, the only sounds being the occasional scribbling on paper.

“So, any ideas?” the human prompted.

“Of course.” Berdly spoke quickly, in the way he tended to do when he was drawing a blank and didn't want anyone to know. “But I would like to hear yours first.”

“Sure you do.” Kris rolled their eyes. “Well, mine is pretty simple, really: we commit to the bit, as they say.”

“Hm.” the bluebird on the other side of the line seemed to ponder it, tapping his pencil against a surface. “And what would that entail?”

“The classic.” Kris said. “Step one: We fake date for however long we think it's funny. Step two: we fake break up in the most over the top way we can think of. Step three: profit.”

“…And you're sure that's a good plan?”

“No, but I'm sure it's a funny one.” they shot back. “Plus, I'm not a coward; I can handle pretending to date someone for shits and giggles. Even if that someone is you.” they added playfully.

Berdly squawked in offense.

“Well, for all intents and purposes, I'm not thrilled to be your fake gamer boyfriend, either.” he grumbled.

“You were the one who blurted out you were my real gamer boyfriend.”

“Quiet.”

Kris stifled a giggle with their fist. They loved pissing him off over minor things like these. It was a shame they weren't having this conversation face to face - seeing his feathers fluff up in real time until he looked like a ridiculous ball of fluff was the best part.

“Do you accept these terms and conditions?”

“I do.” Berdly replied. “But if something goes awry, it's your fault.”

“I take full responsibility.” Kris crossed their SOUL for an added layer of sincerity. “Visualize me crossing my SOUL right now.”

“Splendid.” the bluebird spoke, tone reminiscent of a businessman closing a deal. “Good talk, dearest Kris. Or should I say… m'theydy?”

Kris audibly groaned, though there was unfortunately still a tiny little smile on their face. “You've gotta stop with that shit. That's my first fake dating boundary.”

It was the bluebird's turn to cackle slightly, the noise making him sound sort of like a magpie. The line was silent for a couple of seconds after.

“…Er, would you actually like to play Minecrap Sleepwars with me, perchance?” Berdly asked hesitantly.

Kris snickered a little at how timid he was suddenly acting. They pondered the request. A quick game to mop the floor with him didn't sound half bad.

“You know what?” they turned to look at their brother's half of the room. “Sure, why not?”

They made their way to Azzy's computer and turned it on, hearing Berdly doing the same on the other side of the call. Without noticing it, their mouth curved into a satisfied smile, which immediately dropped once the entity decided to make its presence known again.

(Hey, buddy? You know this is gonna backfire on you tremendously at some point, right?) they heard YOU chastise from inside their subconscious with faux hesitation. (I give it two weeks max, to be honest.)

Kris disregarded it. It had no idea what it was talking about. They were fully confident nothing could truly go wrong.

This was a great plan. And it would be a funny one, too. They'd make sure of it.

Chapter Text

So apparently, Kris's idea of showing how “real” their relationship was to their skeptical mutual friends was to plan a sleepover with the four of them. A plan which, of course, they had let Berdly know about prior to its execution, but in his opinion, it was still a bit ridiculous.

This wasn't the bluebird's first sleepover rodeo, though. He'd had a couple of sleepovers with the other three before. He knew how sleepovers worked. He could deal with that. He could definitely deal with that.

…Or at least he would have been able to deal with that, if it wasn't for the fact that “sleepover” had a different meaning once you had a partner.

Sleepovers were for hanging out with friends, having fun eating junk food into the night and staying awake until you physically couldn't anymore. But when one had a partner? Acts of casual affection were commonplace. Expected.

Especially considering that this sleepover was intended to “convince” Susie and Noelle that their relationship was one hundred percent real and honest.

If he was being truthful, just like a wee fledgling, Berdly was struggling with the concept of leaving the safety of his nest to go to a place where he would have to pretend to be with someone romantically.

…Which was why he'd been cooped up in said nest ever since he woke up, wrapped in a ridiculous amount of blankets and surrounded by every pillow and plushie imaginable. Which was nothing like him. On his better days, he had meals prepared three days in advance and every facet of his room was organized exactly how he liked it, all before 11AM. On his worse days, he was nestrotting, sure, procrastinating on schoolwork or meal prep, but not upset, or anxiously awaiting an evening event the way he was now!

(That was, unless his parents unexpectedly called about having extended their work trip and left him crying into his blankets on a lonely night.)

Suddenly, his phone buzzed with a text. Berdly untangled himself from the blankets and reached out to it a little too quickly, grateful for the distraction.

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

yo

emotionally prepared 4 the play of ur gdmn life tonite

The bluebird huffed out a laugh despite himself. It wasn't like anyone was around to see it, after all. He flopped down and laid on his belly, typing out a reply.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

That depends. Is my acting partner good enough to properly complement my role?

🍎krizmoss🍎

babygirl ur acting partner will swoop u off ur talons

trust

ull nevr fall behind as long as we fake d8 ;3

Berdly rolled his eyes at Kris's words. He'd believe it when he saw it. He awaited their follow-up message, eyes lingering on the three dots that indicated they were typing.

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

n ee wayz

u good with nything?

🐦smartgenius🐦

What are we talking about when referring to “anything”?

🍎krizmoss🍎

yknow

touching

pet names

physical proximity

the kinda stuff couples do

🐦smartgenius🐦

I trust you enough to not feel the need to limit anything in specific.

Do not make me regret this.

🍎krizmoss🍎

aw thats cute

a horrible decision rly

but cute :3

i might js start flirting 4 fun tho u sure thats cool w u

When he finally understood Kris's message after several seconds of staring at it and rereading it (they really had to fix their spelling - he'd tried to get them on the right track before, but they always ended up straying from it again), Berdly's SOUL skipped an errant beat. His fake partner certainly had odd ways of entertaining themselves. Still, he couldn't help but prod them a little, as he was instinctively prone to do - they were rivals, after all.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

Hmph. Whatever.

It's not like your feeble attempts at flirting would ever woo me.

🍎krizmoss🍎

orly?

aight bet

lets test tht theory

while u have the benefit of the doubt (talking thru a screen)

The bluebird felt himself smiling, a comforting feeling spreading through his body. They'd taken the bait immediately, hook line and sinker. It was almost too easy, really. He would have felt bad, if it wasn't for how exciting it was to taunt them.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

I'm waiting…

M'theydy. B)

🍎krizmoss🍎

blegh. vomit emoji. u suck

thats evn WORSE written dwn angel above

🐦smartgenius🐦

Why type “vomit emoji” when you can just type the emoji itself?

🍎krizmoss🍎

cuz its funny

ok prepare urself

im about to blow ur mind ;))

Berdly rolled his eyes for the second time since their text conversation started, feeling oddly endeared. Kris had always had a way to both ruffle his feathers to their limits and make him cherish their rivalry dearly at the exact same time. It felt paradoxical, but he supposed he wouldn't want it to change.

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

r u frm tennessee

🐦smartgenius🐦

…

No, why?

🍎krizmoss🍎

cuz ur the only 10 i see ;)

The bluebird scrunched up his beak in distaste and slight disappointment. They could do better than that, surely? Did generalized pick-up lines like these work on anyone?

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

Good grief, Kris, that was TERRIBLE.

You're not even TRYING!

🍎krizmoss🍎

hehe :3

did that work

🐦smartgenius🐦

OBVIOUSLY not.

You're FAR above these jokes, Kristoff.

🍎krizmoss🍎

aweeeee stoooooop ur gnna make me blush >///<

🐦smartgenius🐦

Stop dawdling and start actually making an attempt to charm me.

🍎krizmoss🍎

ok ok fine :p

i wish i was in charge of the alphabet so i cld put u + i 2gether ;)

🐦smartgenius🐦

It's a good thing you aren't; I quite like the fact that N and O are next to each other.

🍎krizmoss🍎

LMAOOOO OK I ACTUALLY GIGGLED A LIL FUCK U

BIRD BOYS GOT SASSSSSSS

didnt expect that from u lol

An unfamiliar sensation blossomed in Berdly's chest as he reread the text over and over again. He tried his absolute best to push it away, to disregard it, but the idea of having somehow outwitted Kris (by their own admission) was making him unreasonably pleased with himself. His crest feathers puffed upward, not with annoyance, but with pride.

(His tail was most definitely not swishing, though. Not even a little.)

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

lemme change my strat now cuz these clearly rnt working

AHEM.

do you always glow like this, or has the sun finally realized it's got nothing on your radiance and allowed you to shine?

Berdly's SOUL thumped once as his eyes glided over the sentence, a frustrating warmth making its home in his cheeks. He scoffed out loud at himself, thoroughly embarrassed at his own performance. How could he let himself be affected by something as nonspecific as that? He truly was a lonely loser, if his rival was getting to him so easily.

Well, at the very least, they were fixing their spelling now. Somewhat. He straightened into a sitting position and shot back a reply, clamping his talons around a stray pillow, then letting go, like a cat kneading a blanket.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

Quite a drastic change, wouldn't you say?

From vague pick-up lines to vague compliments… I'm impressed!

🍎krizmoss🍎

ill show you vague nerd bird :p

your eyes are like a warning label; they say not to touch, but i can't help but want to anyways~

🐦smartgenius🐦

Nice try. The color of my eyes is nowhere near striking enough to qualify as a warning.

🍎krizmoss🍎

sure it is!

theyve already struck my soul time n time again ;)

🐦smartgenius🐦

Certainly a unique approach to eye-related flirting tactics.

I would have expected you to go the easy “your eyes remind me of the sea, because I'm getting lost in them too” route.

🍎krizmoss🍎

bluebird, if the sea looked like your eyes, i'd sail all seven of them just to see more of you

Berdly audibly gasped, feeling his considerably warmer skin ripple with goosebumps. His SOUL thrummed a bit quicker in his chest and an unfamiliar feeling crept into his stomach as he kept obsessively rereading Kris's last text.

Still, he vehemently refused to fall prey to their shenanigans. He was smarter than that. Much smarter than that. Which is why he wasn't affected in the slightest.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

A valiant attempt, to be sure, but an unsuccessful one nonetheless.

Try again.

🍎krizmoss🍎

what, like i tried not to yearn for the feeling of your pretty little feathers between my fingers?

The bluebird's beak went dry as his talons curled so tightly around the pillow he was kneading he feared he'd ripped into it. Suddenly, he was finding it hard to breathe, the beating of his SOUL palpable in his eardrums. What were they playing at now…?!

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

What…?

🍎krizmoss🍎

you preen them so well, it's hard not to feel envious~

🐦smartgenius🐦

Quit teasing. Go back to the mindless flirting.

🍎krizmoss🍎

im not teasing

doing that is only worth it when im with u ;)

🐦smartgenius🐦

Tch.

What would it matter to you if I'm present or not?

🍎krizmoss🍎

it makes allllll the difference

you're so reactive

i want to see the way your feathers fluff up

i want to hear you drop the smartboy voice when you get mad enough

i want to feel your scornful gaze on me

i can't help but love every second of it 

it's irresistible

YOU'RE irresistible, Berdly.

Berdly turned off his phone almost as if by instinct, slamming it screen down on his nest as he pressed a wing against his chest and fought to control the erratic beating of his SOUL. His magic roared beneath his skin, making him feel like he'd been doused in gasoline and set aflame by a lit match and a flick of the wrist from the frustrating human on the other side of the screen.

…What was that.

What the hell was that???

It was just a text conversation. It was just a text conversation. Kris was testing him, seeing how much of their flirting he could handle. There was nothing even remotely genuine about what was going on.

So why was he feeling so… so enthralled? Why did he want them to keep…

The bluebird slipped his wings under his glasses, burying his face into them with an embarrassing groan-whine. Knowing it was his rival that was behind those words should have made him annoyed or angry, but instead… His SOUL soared in his chest. The idea that anyone at all was typing things like that to him was… a little surreal, really.

His brain helpfully made him imagine what it would be like if Kris was present, if the two were having this conversation face to face. Kris standing in front of him, saying those things in the same smooth tone of voice they used when taunting him, but with a hint of something else underneath it… Crimson eyes gleaming with affection… Tantalizing fingers brushing against his win-

Berdly forced himself to stop before his train of thought could derail further. He wasn't entirely sure he could handle the thought of Kris saying such things with their voice. It might shatter any illusion that they were coming from someone else. After all, the best part was imagining them coming from someone who wanted to spend time with him, who actually wanted him around and meant every word of what they typed.

(Someone who… actually loved him.)

The bluebird clutched his phone a bit tighter as he typed out a reply. He was not about to fall to the whims of his rival over mere smooth-talk.

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

..birdbrain?

2 much?

🐦smartgenius🐦

Have you exhausted your arsenal already?

You're talking nonsense.

🍎krizmoss🍎

lmao not u tryna pretend like u didnt giggle kick ur feet twirl ur hair @ tht last 1

🐦smartgenius🐦

In your dreams, maybe. (Especially taking the fact that I don't have hair into consideration.)

🍎krizmoss🍎

aw man that was my special attack <//3

guess ive been disaaaarmed

..or have i? ;p

🐦smartgenius🐦

Stop trying to be cheeky.

Your drivel didn't affect me in the slightest.

…But I know what to expect from you now, at the very least. So I suppose you have my (begrudging!) thanks.

🍎krizmoss🍎

guess well see when the time comes! ;)

now go do smth productive b4 the sleepover

what wld ppl think if they knew u wre spending all ur free time flirting with ur very real partner? :3

🐦smartgenius🐦

Oh, go poke a wasp nest, you nitwit.

🍎krizmoss🍎

mayb i will! i tolerate u too bluebird <3

Berdly turned off his phone again, nearly rolling his eyes right out of his sockets with a ridiculously loud groan of annoyance. His feathers were still ruffled and his face still felt like a living radiator, but at least now he could blame the increased speed of his SOUL on the frustration he was feeling towards the absolute rascal he'd gotten into a fake relationship with.

Unwillingly, he started thinking. A lot. More than he usually would, really, about something that had last crossed his mind… maybe more recently than he would have been willing to admit. Something he would really rather not think about at that moment, only a short while after his rival had used their entire flirting arsenal on him.

Kris smiling at him, the sight so rare it had become engraved in his memory. Kris listening to what he had to say with interest. Kris… seeming happy around him. Enjoying having him around.

(…Kris's hand holding his wing, the feeling of their lips brushing over it before they parted ways after the festival-)

Berdly scoffed, physically shaking the thoughts away with a wing. Thinking was never good outside of school. He needed to heed Kris's advice and busy himself with something at last. To take his mind off things.

With some difficulty, he removed himself from the blanket pile in his nest, walked around the carefully organized chaos of his bedroom floor, and made his way to the kitchen to start working on his next few meals.

(To his chagrin, the texts he'd shared with his rival didn't leave the back of his mind the whole time.)

[…]

Berdly hauled his multitude of bags with pillows and blankets to the front door of the Dreemurr residence, almost regretting having brought so many items of comfort before remembering there was a very logical reason he'd done so. What if Kris's pillows and blankets weren't to his liking? If he was to sleep outside of his nest at home, it had to be exactly the way he wanted it.

It didn't take long after he rapped the door with his talons for him to come face to face with Ms. Toriel, who began smiling once she saw him.

“Oh, hello, Berdly!” she greeted warmly.

“Evening, Ms. Toriel.” he replied with a courteous bow of his head.

The goat monster waved a hand. “Please, just Toriel is fine!” she turned to look inside. “Honey! Your friend is here!”

Kris speedwalked to the door soon after, waving casually at Berdly with a little wink before turning to their mother.

‘Not friend.’ they signed, sending Berdly a teasing look.

The bluebird bristled. Already?! He wasn't sure he was ready for his fake partner's mother to…

“What else could he be, if you have invited him to a sleepover?” Ms. Toriel - he couldn't bring himself to call her just Toriel - rolled her eyes playfully.

The human smiled innocently, trading another look with Berdly before they signed again.

‘Boyfriend.’

Ms. Toriel's eyes widened marginally. She was a little less surprised than Berdly would have expected.

“…Oh!” her mouth dropped open. “I was… certainly not aware of this development. You are both happy, correct?”

“Very much, ma'am.” Berdly nodded, burning with shame. He had some very unsavory things to say to his rival over their next Smashing Fighters match.

‘Let me carry that.’ Kris signed, before they grabbed the heavier bags and effortlessly brought them inside.

“Hey, nerd bird!” he heard a familiar raspy voice call out from the couch. Susie twisted her torso to look at him, a plate full of various snacks (mainly charcuterie) in her grasp. “'Bout time you showed up!”

“Hi, Berdly!” Noelle waved a hoof next to the saurian, plucking a slice of cucumber from Susie's individual snack tray. “We were waiting on you for the karaoke!”

Berdly's feathers fluffed up in surprise. Karaoke wasn't an unusual sleepover activity, to be sure, but he didn't know if he was ready to unleash his full potential to the world. Was anyone ever truly prepared to witness his grandiose skills?

“I'll pass. My abilities are far above something as silly as karaoke. I'd simply demolish the competition.” he raised a wing apologetically. “Besides, Kris doesn't seem to be in a talking mood; I doubt they'd want to sing.”

“Bullsh- crap!” Susie laughed. “That idiot was yapping like crazy just before you showed up! Dude's hyped as heck that we're here!”

“It's true, I am.” Kris agreed, donning their favorite cocky grin. “And I was the one who suggested karaoke, anyways. Are you gonna disappoint your partner?”

Berdly glared at them, their expression reflecting an innocent kind of mischief.

“You really love your emotional manipulation, don't you, you little rat?” he sneered, forcing a smile.

“I prefer “mutt”, if we're talking pet names.” they rebutted, just as snidely.

The bluebird swiped at them with a wing, which they easily dodged. Weirdly enough, he was quite content with the current arrangement. It was nice to know that being in this fake relationship didn't call for the complete eradication of their previous dynamic.

“Fine. I concede. But I will not have the first round.” he sighed, sending Kris a mischievous look. “You take it, m'theydy. Since it was your idea in the first place.”

“Gladly.” his rival replied, flicking through the options on-screen with a microphone-shaped remote. Apparently, they'd set up an old singing game prior to his arrival. It came with microphones, and it had a score system as well.

Kris settled on a song Berdly didn't recognize. The title and artist section read “dismay - aries.”, and once it began playing, it was clear it was a more lowkey sort of song. Not only that, the human was in the same vocal range as the singer, so they didn't have to strain their voice too much, hitting most of the notes with relative ease.

(He kinda wished they'd stop sneaking playful looks towards him during the chorus, though, considering what the song was about.)

They ended the song with a remarkably high score, passing the mic to Berdly with a flourish. The bluebird smirked, immediately flicking towards a song he'd seen in the selection while Kris searched for theirs, “SOUL Strike - Levi Domato”. He was aware it was sung in a high key and had an absolutely devious bridge with an extremely hard to hit high note, but it didn't matter to him. He knew he had it in him. There was no better song for him to use to put the other three in their place.

“Oh, he's way in over his head.” he heard Susie (badly) whisper to Noelle, snickering. Berdly fought back a smirk. He and his cervine friend knew she'd eat her words soon enough.

The song started, and immediately he could feel the mild surprise emanating from Kris and Susie as he effortlessly maintained the higher pitch (Noelle knew very well of his abilities; this was of no shock to her). He was a bird, after all - it was in his (metaphorical) blood to warble.

The bridge was his true opportunity to shine, though, so he gathered all his breath for the final high note, making sure he didn't overexert himself. Reaching the high note was no problem, but holding it was a whole other can of worms entirely - only a few seconds after the highest note, Berdly made a wheezing sound and completely lost his voice, fluffing up in embarrassment before forcing himself to recover.

He hadn't missed a single note of the bridge, at the very least. Well, save for a couple at the end because he ran out of breath. But that was unrelated to any inability to hit high notes, so he didn't care. Berdly swiveled his head back, an aura of pure smugness emanating from him.

“Hah!” he crowed, staring at his audience. He still hadn't properly caught his breath. “How's that for - hff - being way in over my head?!”

“Nice, Berdly!” Noelle grinned appreciatively, pumping her fist in the air.

“Holy sh- crap, dude!” Susie cackled, nearly knocking him over with a friendly punch to the shoulder. “You're a menace! Screw you!”

It was then that Berdly noticed Kris had been silently staring at him, looking a little awed. His smirk grew at the sight of his shellshocked rival. This was the best day of his life.

“Enamored by my undeniable skill, dearest?” he teased, allowing some flirtatiousness into his tone.

The human's head tilted up, as if surprised they'd been caught staring, then turned to the side quickly, lower lip at an awkward angle like they were biting the inside. Was it Berdly's imagination, or were their cheeks… ever so slightly darker?

“Your, uh. Your breath control sucks ass.” they mumbled into their shoulder.

“My admittedly subpar respiratory abilities are none of your business.” Berdly scoffed.

Kris's lips morphed into a teasing smirk, raising their hands in mock surrender. “You said it, not me.”

The bluebird's feathers poofed up in annoyance as he glared at his fake partner. “Why you-”

“Alright, we get it, you've got some rivals to lovers shtick going on.” Susie grumbled, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “Can we move on to the next song, or are you gonna keep flirt-bickering like a buncha losers?”

Both Berdly and Kris were ejected out of rival argument mode immediately, shutting their mouths so quickly they almost made a clack sound. He had to start getting used to the two of them being referred to as a unit. Hopefully his SOUL would get the memo and stop randomly speeding up whenever it was pointed out.

The karaoke continued without much hassle, Berdly and Noelle almost always trading the first place spot while Susie remained in dead last for most of the songs (though she was exceptional at rock and metal). Every once in a while, typically during songs with higher notes, Berdly would think he caught Kris glancing at him through the corner of his eye, but they would always look away before he could fully confirm it. What he could confirm, though, was that they snickered under their breath whenever he bit more than he could chew and ran out of air mid high note.

Eventually, it got late enough for them to consider setting up their sleeping arrangements and switching into their pajamas (Berdly had brought his least embarrassing set, a black shirt with “GAMERS DON'T DIE, THEY RESPAWN” written on it and green Minecrap Crawler-patterned pants). Kris let everyone else decide on their own spots while they went upstairs to their room to do whatever it is they had to do. Most likely talking off their binder. Or at least Berdly hoped that was the case - they'd once confided in him that they were prone to wearing it for prolonged amounts of time due to dysphoria, and that could not be healthy for them.

Susie had claimed the couch immediately, Noelle obviously choosing to sleep with her, and since the saurian liked her space and was only willing to share it with a few select people, that meant Berdly had the spot next to either Chairiel or the reclining chair to himself, seeing as Ms. Toriel was sleeping in her room for the night. That was just fine by him. His own spot to build his temporary nest, with no one to bother him.

He gathered a bunch of blankets and pillows, some that he had brought, some from Kris's stash, and began placing them around the carpet, the two thickest blankets on the bottom to cushion him from the ground, the smaller pillows bundled around them in an oval shape, and the remaining blankets and a couple of big pillows inside the ring for maximum comfort. Before long, he had a decently sized nest, enough for him to have plenty of room and comfortable-looking enough that he could maybe possibly ignore the fact that it wasn't his actual nest.

The bluebird admired his handiwork. It wasn't an optimal nesting spot, not by a long shot, but it'd do.

As he was about to climb in and beta test its level of comfort, a hand resting on his shoulder made him jump. His head swiveled around with a scrutinizing narrowed-eyes look, which softened into surprise when he noticed it was his fake partner.

“How's it going?” they asked quietly. They looked somewhat sluggish since returning from their room, their hair messier than before and their slouch more apparent.

“Hm?” Berdly was mildly distracted by the way Susie was pretending to kill the raggedy pillow she brought, sinking her fangs into it and shaking it around while Noelle giggled at her ridiculous antics behind Kris.

“Ignore them. They're gay as hell.” the human rolled their eyes playfully. “How do you like the nest?”

“It's passable, all things considered.” Berdly sighed, turning his body along its axis to fully face Kris. “It's not my home nest, but I'll live.”

“Yeah, I get you.” Kris eyed the piled-up pillows and blankets behind the bluebird. “It's never the same. Slightly different textures n' sensations n' stuff.”

Berdly nodded, glad the two were on the same wavelength about at least one thing. Briefly, he considered the fact that he hadn't seen Kris make their own bed. There wasn't even a sleeping bag or a chosen resting spot in sight.

“Where will you sleep?” he asked abruptly. “Your room?”

Kris smirked ever so slightly, pretending to study their nails. Berdly narrowed his eyes a little. He didn't like that look. He did not like that look.

“Oh, y'know.” they began in a breezy tone. “I was thinking… Since we're partners and all…”

They stretched out the hand they'd been looking at with a flourish, their smirk growing, turning more mischievous. The bluebird felt an odd dread growing on the pit of his stomach.

“…We could nest together?” they finished slyly.

Berdly nearly gasped, eyes widening and brows furrowing, instinctive, overbearing outrage boiling under his skin. The nerve! The audacity!

“Nest together?!” he had to fight to keep his voice at a reasonable volume, crest feathers fluffing up in an attempt to look more menacing.

“Yeah. Together.” Kris repeated calmly. Then, as if they could read his thoughts, they added “Hold your horses, bluebird. It's just a temporary arrangement.”

Berdly's feathers began to lie flat again at the realization. Right. That wasn't his actual nest. There was nothing odd about… sharing it. With his rival.

“…I suppose… you're not incorrect.” he grumbled, crossing his wings.

Kris snickered under their breath, flicking his forehead with two fingers. They walked past him as he was dazed from the unexpected action, inspecting the nest.

“You're cute when you get territorial.” they joked, winking.

Berdly ignored the skip of his SOUL at their words and stared them down diligently as they kneeled to have a closer look. Their proximity to his nest, temporary as it was, still made him wary.

Then suddenly, their mouth curled into a smirk and their hand reached out into the careful arrangement the bluebird had been working on. Immediately, he went on high alert, feathers rising ever so slightly.

“What are you doing?” he snapped, tone icy.

“Hey, what's the big deal?” Kris drawled. “Just for tonight, this is my nest, too. And I think this looks better here.”

They grabbed a pillow Berdly had specifically placed where it was for back support and moved it directly to the middle of the nest, not only making it impossible for it to fulfill its original purpose, but completely putting everything off-center!

He was fully bristling now. They were doing that on purpose, he was sure of it. Curse their obsession with pushing him to his limits.

“Put that back.” he snapped, his eyes narrowing.

“Hmm…” Kris put a finger to their chin and tilted their head up to look at the ceiling. “How about no?”

Berdly took a step forward, glaring down at the human. They didn't move an inch, staring at him with an innocent look, their hand still over the pillow.

“Put. It. Back.” he repeated, enunciating every word.

“Don't wanna.” his infuriating rival replied simply. He'd gotten so close to them he could see their crimson eyes narrowed derisively behind their bangs. “What are you gonna do about it?”

The bluebird growled under his breath and clenched his wings, his composure quickly slipping the more he stared at Kris and saw the mocking look on their face, like they were daring him to do something about it.

So he did something about it.

Before he could think it over properly, Berdly pushed Kris onto their back in the nest with his foot, careful not to actually hurt them - his talons were sharp. The human gasped in surprise, but they quickly retaliated, baring their teeth and making a move like they were about to bite his leg. Berdly pulled it back by instinct with a muffled yelp, and Kris instantly took the opportunity to leap at him, pushing him onto his back this time.

Berdly fought against his rival's grip before it could solidify, pecking at their forearms with his beak just enough to catch them off guard and making them release him. When he felt their grip loosen, he saw his chance and grabbed it like a match-changing item in Smashing Fighters, gripping their sweater and pulling them to the side so that they fell on the nest next to him.

The bluebird scrambled to get up and grab Kris's wrists to prevent their escape, using all of his strength to hold them down without hurting them. They fought back against the grip lazily, but they looked surprisingly tired, so after some unenthusiastic struggling, they eventually went limp under him.

A feeling of pure, unfiltered satisfaction coursed through Berdly's entire body, beak splitting into a wide, victorious smile. He did it! He'd gotten the better of his rival in physical combat at last! Take that, Susie! He could fight outside of the Dark World!

“Fine. Whatever. Keep your dumb nest how you want it.” Kris rolled their eyes, sounding winded. “You beat me fair and square.”

Berdly crowed a laugh, puffing out his chest proudly as he looked down at his rival. His triumphant smile fell ever so slightly as he took in the sight.

Kris's dark brown hair had fallen around their face in a somewhat circular pattern, bangs brushed just enough out of the way for their vivid crimson eyes to be in full view. Their breaths were ragged as they panted, a woozy, lightheaded laugh passing through their lips, and the bluebird could feel their blood pulsing under their wrists, quick and rhythmic.

…Now that he was looking at them, he kind of couldn't bring himself to stop.

(The way the sight of his rival pinned under him made him feel was decidedly unorthodox.)

YOU'RE irresistible, Berdly.

Berdly nearly squawked out loud, feeling his breathing quicken and loosening his grip. No, no, no! Why was he thinking about that now, of all times?! Why was it so hard to look away…?!

Kris grinned roguishly under him, their eyes crinkling, and pointed at their cheek with one hand, wriggling their eyebrows. Berdly puffed up and narrowed his eyes in a glare, a little flustered. Maybe he should peck their cheek (in a bird way!!)! See how they liked it!

Maybe he should… see what it's like to-

A stray pillow slamming into his back with the force of a thousand suns broke him out of his thoughts, making him fall on top of Kris. He quickly scrambled to get up, lest he start thinking too much about the feeling of his chest pressed against theirs.

“Pillow fight!” Susie howled from somewhere behind him.

Immediately, Kris slipped out from under Berdly with relative ease and grabbed the closest non-decorative pillow, hitting Berdly with it enough for him to lose his balance and nearly fall to the side again. Berdly adjusted his glasses and grabbed a pillow for himself. This meant business.

Before long, Susie's prophecy fulfilled itself and the four of them had entered not only a pillow fight, but a pillow war. There were stakes. Alliances. Telenovela-level betrayals when Kris abandoned Susie's side to shield Berdly from the saurian's incoming attack. At some point, the free-for-all the four of them had engaged in had turned into couple versus (fake) couple, the two duos duking it out until there was more dust and feathers in the air than on the living room surfaces and everyone was thoroughly exhausted and heaving out their own lungs.

(Berdly and Kris did not have even a modicum of a chance against Susie and Noelle. Susie completely and utterly mopped the floor with them by herself. All Noelle had to do was watch from the sidelines.)

(The bluebird had never felt so warm and content after losing before.)

A comfortable silence fell in the room as everyone caught their breath. Berdly heard Kris muffling a snort when Noelle sneezed due to all the dust particles floating around. He could understand why - the reindeer's sneezes were amusingly quiet and high-pitched. Like a baby deer, really.

“…You guys wanna watch a movie?” Kris prompted between breaths.

And so they watched a movie. It was one of the rare non-anime Critterkit movies, courtesy of Kris somehow having a DVD of it lying around. “PI Bitsqueak” wasn't exactly peak cinema in Berdly's opinion, but it was a fun movie to watch with friends, he supposed.

Susie and Noelle had taken the couch for themselves, the saurian practically draped all over it while her girlfriend laid on top of her, clearly more focused on combing through her dark mane than paying full attention to the movie. This, of course, left Berdly and Kris to share the nest, which was thankfully still within watching distance of the TV without either of them having to crane their necks too much.

Berdly felt normal about this. Very normal about this. The most normal anyone had ever felt about anything. His wings didn't feel sweaty at all! He wasn't hyperfocused on Kris's shoulder just barely brushing against his! His focus was fully on the movie, and how that Slyvan had somehow used an attack it was incapable of learning! That's how much he wasn't focused on something else! Which was exactly why he quietly commented on it as it happened!

“Slyvan can't learn Air Cutter.” he grumbled under his breath.

“Maybe they mixed it up with Aerial Ace or Acrobatics.” Kris suggested, just as quiet. Berdly was not thinking about how their rumbling voice sounded so incredibly close to his ear.

“How would they mix it up with Acrobatics?” he scoffed. “That does not sound even remotely similar.”

“I dunno. Maybe the tech was hard of hearing.” his rival joked, nudging him lightly.

Berdly glanced at them, just briefly. For a normal, acceptable amount of time. Their eyes were glued to the screen, seeming visibly engrossed in the battle currently happening. He remembered they quite liked Critterkit. It was one of their special interests, and the first thing the two had bonded over when they were younger… at least until a young Kris had beaten a fledgling Berdly to pulp in a Critterkit match and kickstarted their lifelong rivalry.

(Berdly remembered that particular loss fondly.)

“Did you also notice that part when the Kopykat was sent out into battle and immediately transformed?” Kris asked all of a sudden, looking amused. “Like… who's gonna tell them they've already established its Talent as Protean in a previous fight, when its type changed to the move it used and they had, like, a whole-ass monologue about it?”

Berdly had absolutely not noticed that. Even though he was super focused on the movie and only the movie.

“Of course I did.” he answered quickly. How could he have missed such a thing? “Fools, the lot of them. It's one thing for them to have a simple learnset flaw, but to have script inconsistencies like that? Despicable. This is a fully-fledged film; the least they could do is avoid being as egregiously negligent as the Critterkit anime.”

Kris huffed out a small laugh and leaned their head on Berdly's shoulder, cheek squished against it. The sensation of the contact spread like a wildfire, making the bluebird flinch in surprise as his gaze slowly wandered over to them.

“You're such a birdbrain.” they murmured affectionately(????), brushing their bangs out of their face to look at him.

Berdly's beak went dry.

“What are you doing.” he stage-whispered, barely able to focus on anything besides the feeling of Kris's cheek on his shoulder.

“PDA.” the human replied simply. “Couples do that.”

“W-we're n…” Berdly swallowed even though there was nothing in his mouth to push into his esophagus. “We're not a couple” was on the tip of his tongue, yet that was not what he ended up saying. “We're watching a movie. They're not even paying attention to us. Or to the movie, most likely.”

(He himself hadn't been paying attention to the movie since Kris climbed into his makeshift nest, but those were just details. Details with very little backing to them. They might not even be truthful, really.)

“So?” their voice sounded too close to Berdly's ear. He could almost feel their words ruffling his feathers. “Doesn't hurt to get some practice in.”

Berdly ignored them, attempting to turn his attention back to the movie. It was a bust. He was still hyperaware of Kris's weight on him, their face lingering far too close to his. He couldn't focus. He could hardly even breathe, as pathetic as that sounded.

The human snaked an arm around Berdly unexpectedly, tugging him closer to them. Their fingers brushed over his waist and a shiver wracked the bluebird's whole body.

‘Please.’ his traitorous right brain wanted to whisper.

“Stop that.” his logical left brain took the reins before things could get ugly, Berdly's voice wavering when he snapped at them.

Kris snatched their arm back and moved off of him rather quickly. Berdly didn't miss the warmth. At all. In fact, he shimmied away slightly to prevent any further damage.

“Sorry.” his fake partner mumbled awkwardly. “Didn't mean to… actually make you uncomfortable.”

They scooted farther away on the nest, now only lightly touching Berdly's thigh with their knee. Berdly felt an absurd pang of annoyance in his chest at this recent development.

“I didn't tell you to get away.” the words unwillingly tumbled out of his mouth before he could think them over. Damned right brain. He'd get back at it yet.

Kris looked at him in mild bewilderment before their expression shifted into something more playful.

“Aw, miss me already?” they teased.

Berdly made a noise in the back of his throat, but quickly recovered from his fluster. “Don't flatter yourself, Third Place. I merely wish to get better at enduring your displays. Isn't that important to keep up the ruse?”

Kris rolled their eyes at him, scooching next to him once again. Their hand hovered above Berdly's wing until it rested on top of it, lightly stroking over the feathers. He thought he heard the human murmur “Hm. Pretty soft.”, but for his own sanity he pretended it had been a trick of the subconscious.

Berdly had already made his peace with the fact that he was going to gather absolutely nothing else from the movie they were watching.

The night went along without a hitch. Ms. Toriel had checked in once in a while, making sure everyone was comfortable, shooting him and Kris a knowing look before leaving the first time, but besides that, nothing of note happened. Soon enough, everyone was already feeling drowsy - well, save for Susie, who had conked out a little over past the halfway mark of the movie.

“Night, guys.” Noelle whispered, looking like she was just about ready to join the saurian.

She grabbed Susie's arm hanging limply off the couch, draped it over herself, then pulled the covers over the two of them and promptly cuddled up to her girlfriend, turning to face the couch cushions.

(Berdly was absolutely not jealous.)

The bluebird clicked his tongue under his breath, huddling up to a pillow as a somewhat suitable replacement for the lack of a real relationship. He hadn't turned to face Kris once since the four of them began getting ready to sleep, too embarrassed at the concept that the two of them were sharing a nest - his nest.

Suddenly, the barest touch on his back.

Berdly flinched in surprise, gripping the pillow tighter. Unwillingly, his head swiveled around at a snail's pace, eyes wide, until he was facing Kris. Their back was turned on him, nudging against him lightly, but they weren't approaching any more than that, giving him plenty of space to avoid any discomfort.

“Aren't you cold?” his rival asked softly.

(A distant, insufferable part of his brain nodded fervently in agreement, despite the fact that he wasn't cold.)

“I don't see how that's any of your concern.” Berdly replied, head returning to its original place.

“That doesn't answer my question.”

“…Not really, no.” he answered honestly.

“Oh, okay, then.”

Silence. Berdly narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“…Are you doing that neurotypical thing where you ask a question when you clearly mean something else?” he scoffed. “Tsk, tsk. I thought better of you, Kristoff.”

“Y'got me.” Kris replied, with a soft chuckle at the way Berdly said tsk like a word. He heard the nest shuffling as they turned to face him. “Alright, autism brutal honesty mode activated: I wanna cuddle.”

The bluebird muffled a squawk of surprise at the bluntness. Briefly, he glanced at the couch to check whether Noelle was already asleep or not (she was completely still on top of Susie, so chances were she was), before turning his body to face Kris.

“Why?” he hissed, audibly confused. “Th-they're…”

“'Cuz I like to?” the human raised an eyebrow. Berdly could barely see it under their bangs in the extremely dim light. “'S not rocket science, birdie. Not everything's about that.”

Silence filled the air again briefly, though Kris's fidgeting could still be heard.

“…'S okay if you don't wanna.” they mumbled awkwardly.

Berdly shuffled ever so slightly closer, almost as if by instinct.

“N-no, I…” ‘I want to.’ “…I don't mind it much. I suppose.”

Kris mirrored his action, shuffling close enough for their hands to brush over Berdly's wings. The bluebird's breath hitched in his throat

“That's good, then.” they murmured. “C'mere.”

Before Berdly was even ready for it, Kris got even closer, their arms moving to wrap lightly around his body, hands placed on his back. There was still a decent amount of distance between the two of them, but they were close enough for Berdly to feel how insanely warm their body was.

So close.

Too close.

(Why did Berdly want them even closer?)

“Y'kinda suck at this.” Kris mused playfully.

Berdly fluffed up. Ah. Right. Reciprocation. That was how cuddling worked, wasn't it?

The bluebird awkwardly slipped his wings under Kris's arms, hesitantly placing them on their midriff. His fake partner shuffled just a little bit closer to make it easier for him to wrap them around the small of their back. He looked away from their face quickly, cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

Kris snickered at his hesitance, but Berdly couldn't find it in him to react to it in any way. Oh, Angel. Everything was so warm. This was nothing like his weighted blanket, or the pillow he'd been cuddling before. It was so much better. He couldn't believe he'd been opposed to it for a split second.

“A-are…” Berdly stammered, the warmth making him feel drowsy and sluggish. “Are all humans this… warm?”

“Prob'ly, yeah.” Kris mumbled, seemingly just as drowsy. “Warm-blooded n' all.”

“Warm-blooded?” drat. Berdly did not mean for that to come out as a question.

“Warm-blooded, constant temperature. Cold-blooded, temperature changes with the environment.” the human explained lazily. “Y'd be warm-blooded too, technically. 'Cuz y'r a bird. I mean, y' don't have blood, y'have magic, but y'get what I mean.”

“I knew that.” Berdly lied. “B-but it's nice to know you do too. You're not so hopeless after all.” he added quickly.

Kris let out a breathy laugh, nuzzling closer to the bluebird. To no avail, he tried to prevent his breath from hitching.

“I'm gonna stop replying now, 'kay?” they warned softly. “Tired. Talked too much. Gotta recover. N' you can't see signs in the dark, so.”

The human sighed deeply, exhaling like they were deflating. Berdly could make out their eyelids drooping over their bright eyes slowly as they mumbled “'Night.” into the pillows.

“Goodnight.” Berdly said back to them, sounding like he'd gotten the wind knocked out of him.

He stayed still for a long while, listening to the human breathe slowly, unmoving. In comparison, he felt more awake than ever, feathers ruffled and SOUL pumping. Why could he not focus? Why was the human's mere presence making him struggle to simply close his eyes and sleep?

By then, the bluebird's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, so he could now properly see just how close Kris was to him. It wasn't like the makeshift nest could house them comfortably, but they were still nearly glued to him, despite the fact that they had plenty of space on their half of the nest.

To Berdly's surprise, he was not at all against this lack of personal space. In fact, something in the back of his mind, in the eighth layer of the hell that was his subconscious, didn't think they were close enough.

And so, remarkably quickly, he caved into the primal urge. It was like his body was moving on its own, edging closer and closer to his rival's sleeping figure, until their legs were touching and the space between their torsos had grown negligible. Without thinking, he draped his wing over the human's upper back and slowly slid his feathers over the entirety of it.

…Their faces were much closer now. His rival's hair looked soft, cascading over their face like that. For a split second (just a split second), Berdly wanted to lean in, take a couple of strands into his beak and-

Kris sighed softly and nuzzled closer to him, nearly burying their face into the crook of his neck.

Berdly immediately flinched and pulled away again like a coward.

His SOUL was racing, brain reeling with embarrassment. What in the world had just happened?! What kind of deeply-buried instinct made it seem so appealing to just… preen his rival's hair?! And why was he about to do it?! How could he get rid of that feeling as soon as possible?!

A soft, annoyed grumble broke the bluebird out of his thoughts. When he turned to look at Kris, they were shimmying closer. Berdly didn't have time to react before they reached out and took his wing in an iron grip, practically hugging it to their chest

All of a sudden, thoughts of wanting to get rid of his instincts inexplicably disappeared.

Berdly halfheartedly attempted to free his wing, but the human wouldn't let go, only clinging closer. He gave up rather quickly, sighing and laying his head into the pillow.

Oh well. What was he to do if Kris wanted to cling to something while they slept? Nothing off about it. They were fake partners, after all. It was fine and normal for Berdly to pretend to enjoy it for the sake of the ruse!

Yeah. Pretend. He was pretending. Nothing more, nothing less. He was tolerating his rival's presence, and the feeling of their face on his shoulder, and the way their slow breaths ruffled his feathers.

(He was sure his sudden sleepiness and the enthralling warmth he felt were unrelated.)

Slowly, he closed his eyes, listening to the - now much less erratic - beat of his SOUL as it lulled him to sleep.

Chapter Text

Huh.

This was new.

Noelle wasn't nearly as easy to fool as Berdly seemed to think she was. She'd known him for almost a decade by now; she knew his mannerisms, how he reacted to things, and most importantly, what that meant about how he felt about something. The bluebird may have the emotional intelligence of a particularly blunt rock, but Noelle wasn't so lucky.

When Berdly had blurted out that he and Kris were dating, she'd entered a state of catatonic shock, sure, but that only lasted so long. Berdly couldn't lie to save his life, though that had been one of his better attempts. As soon as he started stuttering and his feathers fluffed up, she'd known something was afoot. Especially after she asked how long it had been going on and Berdly made that one narrowed-eyes expression of his, an expression she'd seen far too often to not know it always made its presence known right before he said some majorly stupid stuff.

From her point of view, Berdly had clearly not intended to blurt that out, Kris had entertained his antics because of their trickster tendencies, and the only reason whatever this was was still going on was because, in Berdly's perspective, he was in too deep already, and in Kris's perspective, they thought this would be, hypothetical quote, “really fucking funny”.

Which is why the current situation was so… odd to her.

Out of the four of them, she was the first to wake up, as was expected. She was kind of particular about the material she slept on, and the couch cushion was not a kind she found comfortable for too long, even with Susie cuddles lulling her to sleep. After removing her girlfriend far away enough from her that she could get up, the saurian remaining fast asleep, she left to wash her face and get ready to start a new day.

And that was when she noticed… that.

Berdly and Kris were both huddled in Berdly's makeshift blanket nest, tangled together in such a way that it looked uncomfortable, almost comical. The human's face was buried in the crook of the bluebird's neck, and they were half sprawled out on top of him like a starfish, unmoving. Below them, Berdly laid in a similar pose, the main difference being that one of his wings was around the human's neck in what looked like a one-armed hug.

Now, Kris had always been pretty down with physical touch when the situation called for it, as long as said physical touch didn't come out of nowhere or felt suffocating in some way. But Berdly was… weird about that kind of stuff. He constantly trailed close behind, yet moved away right at the last second. If you asked Noelle, she would say he craved it but didn't know how to handle it, so he always aborted mission before he could get it. He wasn't one to get this physically close to someone. And especially not one to look so… visibly content with it.

Suddenly, Berdly shifted, groaning softly. Noelle discreetly moved into a more shadowy place to avoid being spotted, observing her two friends like they were newly-identified wild species being documented for the first time in the discovery channel. Berdly was rousing, that much she was certain of, looking confused as to why he could barely move his limbs and blindly attempting to reach around for his glasses with the wing that wasn't around Kris's neck.

When the bluebird finally thought to open his eyes, it didn't take him too long to figure out what was going on. Immediately, his feathers fluffed to such a ridiculous degree that it made him look like a spooked cat rather than a bird. In a very fidgety and flighty manner, he began peeling himself away from the human, eyes darting around as if praying no one was bearing witness to that. The blush on his face was so bright, Noelle saw it clear as day even in the dim lighting. It was incredibly amusing, and to her surprise, she had to fight back a giggle.

She watched as he stepped away from the human's sleeping figure, gaze lingering a little too long on them for Noelle to not metaphorically raise an eyebrow, and started making his way to the bathroom, preening a wing absentmindedly while he walked.

Well. No time like the present. Noelle smiled a little mischievously as he passed by the general area she was standing around.

“Morning!” she whispered brightly, walking to his side.

Berdly instantly bristled just as he'd gotten his feathers to sort of lie flat. He turned to face her, startled.

“Angel above, Noelle!” he hissed. “You nearly made me jump out of my skin!”

“Faha, sorry!” she waved a hoof, not caring about whether she sounded sorry or not. “Had a good sleep?”

The bluebird narrowed his eyes scrutinizingly at her. He was making that face again, the “stupid things will follow” narrowed-eyes expression.

“…Yyyyyyyyyes.” he said slowly, distrustful. “My impromptu nest was. Passable.”

Noelle gave him a cheeky smile. It was always hard to tell whether Berdly was deliberately avoiding answering something or if he was genuinely oblivious to what someone meant. The drawbacks of being autistic, she supposed. She herself also had that issue on occasion.

“I wasn't talking about the nest, y'know.” she elbowed him playfully.

Berdly furrowed his brows for only a split second before his entire face lit up with understanding - and with a shade reminiscent of royal blue. All of the effort to keep his plumage preened went down the drain as he bristled again.

“Not. A word.” he hissed, voice wavering, before hurriedly continuing his trek to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Noelle felt a triumphant smile grow on her face. Little did the bluebird know, his little freakout was aiding her investigation immensely. Why had he reacted the way he had? She knew he and Kris were in a relationship - he'd told her directly. So why was he so embarrassed at having been “caught”? Is it that embarrassing, cuddling your partner while you sleep? So many questions. She couldn't wait to answer them.

She turned back to maybe possibly cuddle with Susie a little bit longer, only to get a taste of her own medicine and nearly jump out of her skin herself. Apparently, the commotion had woken Kris up, and the human had used their inexplicably high level of Stealth to sneak up right behind her and was now eyeing her suspiciously, their expression unreadable.

Kris had always been harder to decipher in comparison to Berdly. They'd perfected the poker face (or RBF, depending on who you asked) years ago, so the reindeer couldn't get a read on them most of the time. She hadn't seen them do something too out of the ordinary, either (except maybe that bit during karaoke the previous day where they'd silently stared at Berdly for the majority of his rounds), so she couldn't tell for certain where they stood in the mess that was this situation. She supposed that was a thing to consider in the future.

Toriel turned the corner into the kitchen not too long after, donning her characteristic gown and nightcap combo that Noelle had bore witness to during many a sleepover. Coincidentally, that was about the same time Berdly finally exited the bathroom.

(Once again, Noelle couldn't be sure of how intentional that choice had been. Was he waiting for a trusted adult to show up so he didn't have to be asked any difficult questions? Hard to say.)

The goat monster had greeted all of them warmly - referring to Susie as “Snoozie” through a mouthful of giggles when she noticed the saurian was still asleep - and offered to make them pancakes for breakfast, to which Berdly immediately responded with, quote, “Do not worry your silky smooth fur off, Ms. Toriel! It would be my pleasure to whip up my friends and partner a fresh batch!”.

He'd certainly gotten better when it came to acting like the normal person Noelle knew he was capable of acting like, but he still slipped into Adult Appeal Mode on occasion. Old habits died hard, she supposed.

Delighted with how responsible the bluebird was being, Toriel allowed him to make good on his promise, retreating back to her room so the four of them could have their own fun. Kris made their way to Berdly, lazily signing ‘Good morning, bluebird.’ as they bumped their shoulder with his. Once again, Noelle noted how antsy and flustered he acted at the display.

(It was a bit of a “crack theory”, so to speak, but she was beginning to think that, on top of the relationship being false, Berdly harbored real romantic feelings for Kris. The mere concept made her head spin, so she stopped quickly.)

Berdly was a fast worker - this Noelle knew for certain. She'd seen him cook before often, and she knew how efficient and precise he was with it, so it wasn't a surprise to her that he'd already gathered all the ingredients and was dutifully preparing the first batch of pancake batter, Kris never leaving his side all the while.

At some point, the bluebird had started rambling about a ConveningChloride video he'd seen recently - something relating to Pentris speedrunning, Noelle thought? He was clearly quite invested in the topic (speedrunning had always been a special interest of sorts for him), speaking in that unrestrained, indubitably nerdy tone of voice he always used when talking about something he really liked. Even as he rambled, he was effortlessly mixing the batter, whisking the eggs into it thoroughly, careful to get rid of any clumps of flour. It always amazed her how apt Berdly was at multitasking when it came to things not related to schoolwork.

And to the reindeer's mild surprise, Kris was just… listening, handing him whichever ingredients or utensils he asked for and staring at him with the tiniest hint of a smile on their deadpan face. They didn't even look like they were thinking of ways to switch the sugar for salt without Berdly seeing. That was certainly unusual.

They were as eerily quiet as they tended to be during mornings, though, so it wasn't much of a surprise that Berdly's chattering slowly died down as he began to feel like he was talking for too long, until he stopped speaking altogether.

As if to prove they could surprise Noelle a second time, Kris's gaze wandered away from the bowl of batter Berdly was mixing and towards the bluebird's face. They tapped his wing lightly, Berdly jumping in place ever so slightly as he turned to them.

‘Why'd you stop?’ they signed, confused.

“Ah, my apologies, dear.” the bluebird laughed awkwardly, averting his eyes. “This blabbering must be awfully boring to you.”

They shook their head slowly. ‘You can keep talking. I like hearing you.’

…Huh??

Noelle could have sworn Berdly's face turned at least three shades darker. He tried to hide it by swiveling his head to the opposite side so that Kris couldn't see how bright his cheeks were, visibly battling against his own body to prevent his beak from curling into a giddy little smile.

(Still, nothing could hide the gleeful wagging of his feathered tail. Noelle snorted. ‘Cute.’)

“O-oh, is that so…?” he tried, but his voice was ridiculously squeaky. “W-well then! In that case! Did you know knowledge has progressed so far, the current speedrunning goal is to see how far a player can go before the game crashes?! You see, due to the inordinate amount of game memory being forcibly read as code…”

And so he went right back to rambling. And Noelle just… stood there, staring in pure, unfiltered awe. Had that really just happened? Had one single morning rewired her entire brain and recontextualized all of her thoughts regarding whatever stance Kris had in this situation, just like that?? Wow.

Not really in the mood to unpack what she had just witnessed, the reindeer settled for watching her friends do their thing fondly for a few moments. Her trance was soon broken by the weight of a very familiar scaly chin resting on her head between her antlers. Before she could turn to look at the source, Susie's arms snaked around her waist in a gentle hold. The reindeer had to redirect all of her brainpower to keeping her cool.

“The fuck are they doing?” her girlfriend grunted sleepily. “Pancakes are taking forever.”

“I dunno.” Noelle shrugged, running her claws through the bits of Susie's mane that cascaded over her shoulders in an attempt to detangle it. “But it's kind of… cute?”

Susie made a noise in between a chuff and a grumble. “I guess.”

The first batch of pancakes was finalized, and Susie wasted no time serving herself a ridiculously tall stack and digging into it, visibly holding back a compliment since she knew it would be directed to Berdly. Back in front of the stove, the so-called lovebirds were bickering now, somehow. Noelle had only taken her eyes off of them for a couple of seconds - how in the world had they already gotten to that point??

“No, Kris, I am not going to burn the pancakes.” Berdly huffed. “I know the exact temperature and amount of time each side needs to be cooked for them to come out perfectly.”

‘Source?’ Kris signed, grinning cheekily.

“…The times when I made pancakes for myself?” the bluebird's eyes narrowed. “Now stop distracting me. I'm trying to make all of us breakfast.”

Kris leaned closer to him, their grin widening.

“So I'm distracting?”

Berdly shivered at the sound of their voice, eyes wide and feathers bristling. Noelle wanted to permanently wipe that visual from her memory.

Wow. Either Kris knew about whatever Berdly was feeling and decided to be really mean and mess with him (unlikely - she was reasonably sure they weren't that kind of person), or…

…Actually, Noelle wasn't sure if there was another option. Well, there was another option, of course, but it was so ludicrous it might as well not even count.

Then suddenly, Kris poked Berdly's waist, making the bluebird flinch, squawk loudly, and twist his body away from the attack, while in turn also completely messing up the pancake he was just about to flip.

“Kris!” he snapped, turning to glare at them. “I'm gonna burn it!”

“Thought you didn't burn your pancakes.” the human snickered, muffling the sounds with their hand. They poked him again.

“I don't when I don't have a pest poking me!”

“Skill issue.”

“Skill yourself!” Berdly screeched, clearly without thinking. His tail swished from side to side angrily.

Kris laughed heartily, the sound ripping out of their throat like they couldn't hold it back. Noelle didn't usually get to hear that coming from them. An uneasy, mildly horrified feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at the thought that such a reaction had been caused by Berdly.

“That was a good one, I'll consider it.” they nodded sagely.

The bluebird groaned. “Why are we even together?”

“'Cause you want me, for some reason.” Kris replied with a cheeky smirk.

Berdly made a series of Berdly-esque grumbles in response.

Noelle needed a moment. She needed to sit down, drink some water, maybe have a pancake or two. So she did just that, filling up a glass and stacking a couple of pancakes before sitting down at the breakfast table.

She spared a glance towards Susie. Was the saurian also seeing this, or was she hallucinating? She couldn't be making it up, right?

“Hell yeah, pancakes.” her girlfriend muttered through massive bites of the breakfast food, completely focused on consuming as much of it as possible.

The reindeer sighed, smiling dreamily. She supposed there were more important things to consider than whatever was going on in Kris and Berdly's “relationship”. She dug into her own food, gracefully ignoring Kris's raccoon chittering and the squawks of protest and fluttering sounds coming from Berdly.

They didn't linger at the stove for too long. Berdly was already practically done with the pancakes - the burnt one was the last of the batch. The two of them sat at the table with the reindeer and the saurian and stacked their own pancakes on their plates.

Kris… insisted on eating the mildly burnt one. More surprising than that, Berdly kept denying them, telling them they didn't need to do that, he'd just eat it himself. The human won that battle regardless, eating the burnt pancake without complaint - delighted, even.

All the while, Berdly stared at them as he ate his own food, a genuinely fond look that felt completely foreign coming from him. When the reindeer glanced at Susie to once again check if she was seeing things, she found her girlfriend's gaze already on hers, mirroring the bluebird's.

…Oh. Oh wow.

That, uh. That was certainly something. Berdly was giving Kris a look… that Susie gave Noelle. Susie, Noelle's real girlfriend. Not whatever convoluted prank Kris and Berdly were both in on.

Now Noelle was certain she knew what was actually going on here. It was fascinating, and yet not surprising at all, somehow. Berdly had always been kind of odd about Kris. She probably should have come to this conclusion sooner.

Gosh, her friend had a long uphill battle ahead of him.

Chapter Text

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

Could you come over right about now? We need to talk.

🐦smartgenius🐦

?

Alright.

Berdly made his way to the Dreemurr residence with flighty steps and anxiety weighing on him. Kris never used perfect grammar and punctuation, much less capitalized the first letter of their texts. Had he done something wrong during the sleepover two days ago? Disrespected their boundaries somehow? Did his acting suck?? Whatever it was, he'd only find out once he got there, so there was no use being anxious over it.

(He remained anxious over it anyway.)

Soon enough, he was standing in front of the door. He took a preparatory breath and rapped his talons on the bottom since his wings didn't make a loud enough sound, preening impulsively as he waited to be let in. Kris opened the door not even three seconds after Berdly knocked, startling him into poofing out his feathers and making him nearly lose his balance and fall back. He pretended not to hear their snickering, returning their lazy wave with a curt, rigid one and following them inside.

“Where's Ms. Toriel?” the bluebird asked skeptically upon being met with the emptiness of the living room.

‘Probably out with bone man.’ Kris replied with a roll of their eyes. Berdly didn't miss the bitterness in their expression when they signed “bone man”.

Ah. Right. She'd been… doing that a lot, hadn't she? Of course, his rival was old and self-sufficient enough to be left home alone for a couple hours, but Berdly assumed it couldn't be easy to watch one's parent move on with someone else after a divorce. Even if Kris seemed to tolerate Sans more than they used to.

“Understood.” Berdly nodded, fighting back the urge to smooth out the same feather he'd been smoothing out the whole time prior, talons scraping the ground anxiously. “Why… did you call me here?”

Kris sat down on the couch wordlessly, gesturing for Berdly to follow. The bluebird hesitantly did as they asked, his SOUL quickening. What could they want?

“S-so…?”

The human cleared their throat exaggeratedly, only to hold their hands up to sign something instead of saying it verbally. Berdly resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

‘You suck at PDA.’

Berdly flushed at the three letters they signed at the end of their sentence, feathers fluffing up. “Wh-what?! That's all?! Ugh, you made me anxious over nothing!”

Kris cackled under their breath, muffling the noise with a hand over their mouth. Something within Berdly found it oddly endearing.

“In any case, how do you expect us to fix that?” he asked them. “Just practicing?”

The human shrugged exaggeratedly. ‘Well, yeah.’

“Absolutely not.” Berdly felt his cheeks get warmer. “There are no lines of divine code in any known universe that lead me to agree to this buffoonery.”

‘Gotta get used to it to sell this act.’ Kris signed. ‘Or are you chicken?’

Berdly scoffed derisively, feathers unwillingly rising again just as he'd gotten them to lay flat. “Firstly, I'm a mountain bluebird - get it right. Secondly-”

The bluebird cut himself off when his rival nudged ever so slightly closer to him, widening his eyes in surprise before composing himself.

“Secondly,” he repeated a little forcefully, ignoring the way Kris was smirking mockingly at him. “it's rather bold of you to assume I'm declining because I'm, quote, “chicken”.” a somewhat mischievous feeling welled up within the bluebird as he fixed Kris with a playful look. “Or, Angel forbid, are you being ableist right now, by assuming I can't act simply because I happen to be autistic? I thought better of you, Kristian.”

‘I have AuDHD, dipshit.’ Kris rolled their eyes good-humoredly. ‘Sounds like you're a bad actor.’

“What a preposterous concept.” Berdly scoffed instantly, completely disregarding his previous refusal in favor of Smug Superiority™. “I can act out anything as long as I am given the proper lines, so to speak.”

His rival snickered under their breath. ‘Is that a yes?’

“Do your worst…” Berdly allowed a smug smile to overtake his features. “M'theydy.”

Kris stuck their tongue out at him, scrunching up their face in distaste. Surprising even himself, Berdly struggled to hold back a snort of laughter at the human's reaction.

Well. There was no turning back now. Berdly crossed his talons on the couch, awaiting his rival's first move.

‘Let's start simple.’ they signed, holding out one of their hands just as they finished their sentence.

Berdly stared at it incomprehensibly. “…A handhold.”

The human nodded.

“Seriously?” he crowed. “I know how handholding works. This is way below my pay grade, Kristen.”

Kris narrowed their eyes in annoyance, taking back the hand they held out to sign ‘Suck it up, bird boy.’

They held out their hand again, nudging him with it as if drawing attention to it. Berdly sighed in the most obnoxious way he could muster, defiantly placing his wing on the couch next to him rather than hold their hand.

“The situation we're in is already embarrassing enough; I will not lower myself to a further degree.” he scoffed. “Do let me know when you're planning to take this seriou-”

A sudden warmth on top of his wing made him squawk unnecessarily loudly. He mustered a glare at Kris, burning up with embarrassment, and quickly realized his rival had placed their hand on his wing from context clues, namely their self-satisfied smirk.

“Fine. Okay. I'll entertain your idiotic antics. For now.” he huffed with barely-bridled annoyance, trying to hide how incredibly flustered he suddenly felt.

Kris just kept looking at him with that very same self-satisfaction. Berdly felt even warmer under his feathers, tearing his eyes away from the human and instead looking down at the couch.

Terrible idea. His gaze instantly gravitated to his wings, so now on top of feeling his rival's hand on his wing, he was seeing it too. That didn't help. That didn't help at all.

“Don't… l-look at me like that.” Berdly cursed how weak and mumbly he sounded, definitely nothing like his usual self. He projected his next sentence with a bit more confidence. “You insufferable little-”

Whatever he was about to say next became a squawk when Kris fully grabbed a hold of his wing in their hand, squeezing lightly.

Oh wow. That, uh. That probably felt nicer than it should. And they were doing nothing more than holding hands. Berdly shouldn't enjoy handholding; it was a plague on long-running videogame series! If Critterkit was better off without it, so was he.

He didn't have to look at Kris to know they were grinning at him like they'd gotten him to believe the Earth was flat. He scoffed in annoyance.

“Not a word.” he snapped. Kris shuffled slightly on their side of the couch. “Nor a sign.”

His rival grumbled as if mocking Berdly's words. He found himself feeling the slightest bit amused, a smile curling at the edges of his beak.

Inexplicably, he kept staring at the human's hand, the one that was laced with his wing. Their nails were short but neat, and they'd painted them black at some point between the sleepover and the current day, a color that suited them and their skin tone quite well.

…And their hand was warm. It was really warm.

His rival clearly wanted to get him acquainted with every facet of the classic hand hold, because they scooted close enough that their arm brushed his wing and practically intertwined said arm and wing as they adjusted the position of their joined appendages, lacing their slender fingers through the feathers. It was making him a little flustered, which in turn was making him a lot annoyed at himself.

Still, nothing he couldn't handle. He was strong and intelligent and did not care for the extremely enticing warmth the human was radiating. He supposed he'd just have to get used to the highly distracting feeling of their thumb brushing over the back of his wing.

“Preen often, do you?”

The sudden sound of Kris's voice nearly made Berdly jump out of his skin. He could never really predict when they were about to speak.

“Naturally.” he replied with as much finesse as he could. “A true gamer has to look poised and pristine at all times, after all. I never did agree with the rampant lack of personal hygiene in the gaming scene. Preposterous.”

Kris laughed like a raccoon's chittering. “Wow. The bare minimum. Women everywhere just swooned.”

“Well, with such a powerful presence making itself known, how could they not?” Berdly joined in with a chuckle.

The chuckle turned into a strangled choking noise when Kris held one of his feathers between two fingers and smoothed it out like they were preening it themselves. Casually, as if that wasn't an absolutely insane and out of left field thing to do, they moved on to the next feather and repeated the process. By the time they were done with that feather, Berdly was already almost completely certain his spirit had evacuated his body.

“See? You can be funny sometimes.” the human mumbled, focused on whatever they were doing. “What's up with that?”

“Hm.” was the only semi-coherent noise Berdly could muster in response.

They stayed like that for a while, Berdly rigidly avoiding eye contact in the most conspicuous way possible while Kris carefully smoothed out each feather in the bluebird's wing. At some point, they'd grabbed his other wing and done the same to it, but Berdly had gone on autopilot by then, silently freaking out over the fact that he was hyperfocused on the feeling of his rival “preening” him and that said feeling was making him ascend to a higher plane of existence.

Finally, the torturous - enthralling - experience ended, and with it so did Berdly's lack of oxygen intake. He exhaled sharply like he'd been physically wounded, then took a deep, shaky breath, not daring to look at Kris out of deep embarrassment.

“Y'know, I was thinking you were ready for hugging, but I'm not so sure anymore.” they teased.

Berdly scoffed, feeling deeply insulted.

“Wh- How dare you insinuate I'm not ready for whatever you throw at me?!” he squawked. “What do I even have to be “ready” for? It's a hug! How hard can it be?!”

Kris scrunched up their face awkwardly, but Berdly could see them trying to hide a smile.

“Well, you're kinda… y'know.”

“What.” Berdly snapped. “I'm kind of what.”

“Y'know.” his rival shrugged lazily. “Touch-starved.”

Berdly's plumage bristled. He glared at the human, moving closer to them so quickly his glasses slid down his beak.

“I'm not touch-starved!!”

Kris raised a skeptical eyebrow. “When I leaned on your shoulder during the sleepover you flinched like I'd burnt you and then looked at me like a kicked puppy when I moved away.”

“Th-that means nothing!” he screeched, SOUL skipping a beat at the reminder. “The only touch I'm starved of is my talons squishing your sorry face into the dirt!”

His rival gave him a playfully disbelieving look. They moved their legs around so that they were sort of kneeling on the couch. “Is that so? Well, try not to freak out, then.”

“Hah!” Berdly crowed derisively, ignoring the booming warning sirens his brain was beginning to sound. “Try not to freak out… Who do you think you-”

The feeling of his rival smoothly transferring themselves over to his lap and looping their arms around his midriff in one fell swoop shut him up right quick.

Berdly's mouth hung open uselessly, no words or sounds coming out. Every nerve on his body felt like it was on fire, being melted into nothing by the human's touch and their very enticing body temperature that he was fighting tooth and talon not to give into. He'd rather drop dead than give them the satisfaction of knowing they were right about his inexperience with physical affection.

Not for the first time, the bluebird wondered whether this whole arrangement had been a bad idea. He concluded it probably hadn't when Kris tightened their hold on him and all of his oxygen trickled out of him like a poorly-closed tap.

Berdly was freaking out. He was absolutely freaking out. He was never supposed to get this physically close to Kris, close enough to easily be able to smell their apple-scented shampoo or count the moles on their neck. Coupled with the warmth and comfort, it was making him dizzy.

“Nice, isn't it?” Kris asked.

Berdly's breathing quickened. He gave a slow nod, shakily, wordlessly.

“D'you wanna find out how much nicer it can get…?” they murmured into his ear, stroking his lower back gently. Berdly could practically hear the smirk in their tone.

“Wh-what are you implying, Dreemurr.” the bluebird nearly snapped, feeling hot under his plumage.

Kris huffed out a laugh. “You're really easy to tease. It's fun.”

Berdly scoffed, appalled. “Hmph. I'm usually not so easily affected by your shenanigans. You've caught me at a bad time, is all.”

The human casually rested their chin on Berdly's shoulder. That action quickly reminded him of how insanely close they were.

“Yeah?” they hummed.

Berdly pursed his beak, inhaling a shaky breath. His focus on the human resting their head on his shoulder was diverted to a brand new foreign presence that had slid from his back and down his waist.

“Y-yeah.” he confirmed, as resolutely as he could muster.

Kris gave Berdly's hip a light squeeze as they nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

Berdly immediately lost all higher cognitive function.

His rival lingered for a little longer, tightening their hold on his hip just enough for him to be able to notice, clearly enjoying the way Berdly's skin flared up with goosebumps and his feathers stood on end. Eventually, they moved away, practically giggling once they took in the bluebird's expression.

“Too much?” they purred playfully.

Berdly didn't understand why they were asking him that when the answer was obviously fucking yes.

“You reacted better to that than I expected, though.” Kris half-praised, lightly patting the bluebird's hip. “Good job.”

With the way they looked at him and their inexplicably endearing mumbly tone, Berdly was fully convinced his fake partner was trying to kill him, in the safety of their own home where no one would ever find his remains and he would spend his last minutes before dusting cursing their existence. And just as he had that thought, they deployed the fatal blow.

“Are you okay with kissing?”

Berdly frantically scrambled out of Kris's hold, looking at them with wide eyes and feeling his cheeks burning.

“Y-you can't just follow that up with that!!” Berdly screeched, voice coming out thin and high-pitched. He didn't even care that he sounded (and probably looked) especially pathetic; he was convinced that Kris legitimately wanted him dead, and he was not about to find out if his assumption was right.

“Okay, but are you?” they repeated the question, way too casually for someone who was asking something like that. “It's okay if you're not - boundaries and all. Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't want your despicable gaming rival to give you your first kiss.” they added in a cheekier tone.

Berdly stopped his frantic movements to stare blankly at Kris. Did the room suddenly get warmer, or had the heat of his cheeks somehow spread to his entire body and increased enough to make him start sweating?

“My what.” he deadpanned.

“Your despicable gaming rival?” Kris repeated calmly, raising an eyebrow. “I thought that was the vibe we had going on here.”

“Th-the other thing!”

“Ohhhhhh, your first kiss.” his rival's eyes widened in mock understanding. “Yeah. It's your first kiss, isn't it?”

Berdly sputtered, outraged. “And how would you know that?!”

Kris looked exasperated now. “Dude, look at you.”

“What do you mean, “look at me”?!”

The human just sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of their nose. “I'm cutting this conversation short: do you want me to kiss you or not? It's your choice.”

Berdly's SOUL skipped a beat. Definitely not because the way they'd said that had a buzzing feeling settling in the depths of his stomach, or because his skin started prickling in an oddly pleasant way at their words. Just an unrelated factor.

That begged the question, though… Did he? Was he willing to throw away the coveted “first kiss” for the sake of a stupid prank? He wasn't sure. It was kind of a pretty big thing, after all.

Yet at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder… what would it feel like? To kiss a human? They don't have snouts or beaks, fur or feathers - they're so… unique. Surely kissing them would be a unique experience, too? He had an opportunity to answer this question for himself, and he and his brain had reached the agreement that it was in his best interest to take it.

(Besides, it'd felt so nice when they kissed his wing after the festival. The sensation was burned into the bluebird's mind, whether he liked it or not.)

Berdly found that he was actually perfectly okay with Kris being his first kiss. He was sure that meant nothing.

“…Go ahead.” he replied finally, mustering all the levelheadedness he could. “If you're good enough, maybe I'll even decide to let it count.”

Kris snickered a little under their breath. They leaned back in, once again settling right between Berdly's crossed legs, and placed a hand on his cheek, eyeing him through their bangs with those hypnotic crimson eyes of theirs. The bluebird was proud to announce that he barely flinched at the contact.

They sure were taking their sweet time with the main action, though, simply combing through the feathers in his cheek and approaching unbearably slowly. Berdly closed his eyes, waiting with bated breath as the human leaned in closer and closer… before swerving to the side and placing a quick, feather-light peck on his left cheek instead.

He opened an eye slightly. Well, that was alright, but certainly a bit disappointing. All that buildup just for a simple kiss on the cheek? Kris wasn't like that. They had to be planning something devious.

Someone who couldn't stand their ground would have either lost their cool or just allowed Kris to keep messing around and doing whatever they wanted.

But Berdly wasn't a coward. Berdly could stand his ground. So he allowed a smirk to overtake his features, narrowing his eyes devilishly.

“You missed.”

Kris moved back to give him an unbothered eyeroll before going in for another peck, barely an inch away from the first. It lasted just as long as the previous one, and for whatever reason, that bothered the bluebird. What was the meaning of this pointless drivel?

Still, it barely flustered him this time. Now he had a clue as to what was happening, and he wasn't about to lose this game anytime soon.

“You missed again.” Berdly taunted them, tutting. “What dreadful aim, my dear.”

The human merely responded with a smirk and a third peck, this time in the corner of Berdly's beak. The bluebird let out a shallow, shuddering breath when they lingered longer than they had previously, before pulling away with an exaggerated, muffled smacking noise.

Hm. Whatever game they were playing right now was sure to have a PvP function. Berdly refused to go down so easily.

“Coward.” he hissed, ignoring the warmth of his cheeks and the fact that his wavering voice definitely did not back up his bravado. “Do you not have the guts to actually do it?”

Kris inched a little to the side and pecked Berdly just above the part of his beak that met his face, offsetting his glasses ever so slightly. The bluebird's SOUL hammered viciously in his chest, his lungs shriveling up like prunes as he officially forgot how to breathe.

His rival remained unrelenting, continuing their onslaught of soft little pecks all across the top of his beak while stopping a frustrating amount of time in between each one, as if to give Berdly ample time to, as his classmates would say, lose his shit. They were doing this on purpose. It was yet another ploy to rile him up, he just knew it.

Well, it was working. He was successfully riled up, cheeks burning with embarrassment and some sort of frustration prickling under his skin. They must have been able to feel how quickly his SOUL was beating and got some sick satisfaction out of that. Why else would they be taking so long? Why wouldn't they just get it over with?

Right as they were about to kiss the tip of his beak, right as Berdly was preparing to fight back against the haziness in his brain and stay focused, Kris stopped abruptly in their tracks, quite literally inches away from Berdly's beak, inches away from kissing him. The bluebird felt an uncharacteristic pang of annoyance in his chest. Seriously?

The human moved back a bit and hummed thoughtfully, narrowing their eyes as they absentmindedly ran their fingers through the feathers. “This isn't gonna work.”

“Huh?” Berdly said intelligently, blinking. He was surprised he'd been able to focus enough to process their words.

“I can't kiss you.”

“What?” the annoyance that the bluebird had felt prior returned twofold, bubbling under his skin. Were they seriously getting cold feet? “Why in the world not?!”

“Your beak's in the way.”

Berdly blinked. Tilted his head. Blinked again. Straightened up on the couch. Considered blinking a third time, but allowed his brain to resume the automated function.

“Then…” he began, perplexed. “Then tilt your head? To the side?”

Kris cocked their head in faux confusion, dropping the hand on Berdly's cheek.

“Yes. Like that.” Berdly grumbled through his clenched beak. “But in a way that makes you look less like a dog, s'il vous plaît.”

The corners of Kris's lips twitched. A couple of snorts escaped their throat as they said their next sentence, despite their attempts to prevent them.

“I don't - snrk - get how it helps.”

Berdly squawked. “Wh- Come on, you're not even trying to hold back your laughter! Stop mocking me, you scoundrel!”

A real laugh bubbled out of Kris at Berdly's reply. The bluebird decided not to give too much thought to the fact that he was pretty sure flowers had bloomed inside his chest cavity upon hearing it.

“Alright, alright.” the human rolled their eyes. They beckoned Berdly with a curl of their fingers, and he almost felt inclined to listen to what they asked of him. Almost.

He hesitantly leaned forward, just a little bit. Instead of meeting him halfway, Kris took a hold of his wings and slowly guided them to rest low on their waist, directing Berdly to hold steady by using their hands to curl his feathers around their body.

“Keep them here.” they instructed softly. The inclination to listen to them overrode any other command in Berdly's brain. Their mumbly voice must have laid some sort of curse on him.

(He wasn't thinking about how it felt to hold their waist at all.)

The human grabbed the area below his beak - was it technically his chin? - between their thumb and index finger, and Berdly instantly regretted ever having given them the time of day, entertaining an idea that he himself was at fault for.

His regret melted away into nothing when Kris stopped their annoying dawdling and lightly pressed their lips against the tip of his beak, the hand holding his chin sliding over to his cheek.

Huh.

This was… nice, he supposed. He assumed kissing felt different for people with lips, seeing as it was easier to move those, but damn did Kris seem to know what to do regardless, tilting his head with their hand to make the kiss more comfortable for both of them and running their fingers through his feathers.

Meanwhile, Berdly was not so apt when it came to matters of physical affection, although he tried his best to match the rhythm, wings slowly brushing over their midriff as he kissed back. He was probably passable, because Kris hadn't stopped to mock him for such. Yet another victory in his long list of conquests.

All in all, not too unbearable of an experience. It would have probably felt better if it had been accompanied by sparks flying, metaphorical or otherwise, but still. It was… he'd consider doing it again. Maybe. At the very least, he wouldn't be opposed to his fake partner kissing him without warning when they needed to avoid suspicion.

Before long, Kris pulled away slightly, at an almost agonizingly slow pace. Berdly used the much needed break as an opportunity to take a breather for himself, fighting to regain his composure; he wasn't necessarily out of breath, but the fluster that the experience caused had him struggling to remember how to automate his breathing again. He tried not to be a little envious that his rival hadn't needed to do the same, infuriatingly calm and collected as always.

“W… W-wait, that was it?” the bluebird huffed, cracking a small, victorious smile. “That was nowhere near as grueling as I expected it to be! Perhaps this'll be easier than…”

The sight of the human right in front of him knocked him right off his high horse, voice trailing into silence uselessly. Kris hadn't backed away any further, still breathing evenly, still with a hand cradling Berdly's cheek. Their vibrant eyes, previously fixed on the bluebird's, trailed downward, and an indecipherable look came over them as they simply… stared, nearly unblinking, lips ever so slightly parted. Berdly thought that this must have been what it was like to be hunted.

…He didn't know why that thought made him feel like he'd run out of health in Whispers of the Land and was now ragdolling through the plains, but it sure did do that.

Suddenly, the unexpected happened: Kris's eyes lidded and they leaned back in, their movements sloppier, less rehearsed, almost hurried. Berdly didn't even have time to take a preparatory breath before he was thrust into another kiss.

Hopelessly, he got ready to reprise his performance as “gamer boyfriend who totally knows how to kiss his partner, trust him”, only to be met with a kind of urgency he wasn't expecting, catching him wholly off guard.

His rival wasn't kissing him quite like the last time. This kiss was no simple display of affection. It lingered longer. It was…

…Oh.

Kris was… deepening the kiss. Or at least that was what it felt like. Berdly could feel them prodding softly, increasing the pressure against his beak, their warm hand tilting his head to the side with a bone-melting gentleness. He should have fought it, realistically, should have pulled away and told Kris that they were doing too much. They would have backed off if he did.

…But he didn't. Because who would he be if he chickened out now? He did not brave the horrors of basic PDA to give up because of a bit of a hungrier kiss. Even if it was starting to make him feel lightheaded.

This was fine. This was fine! He could handle it!

Kris hummed quietly into Berdly's mouth, letting out a soft, pleased sigh as a hand that had apparently been placed on his thigh at some point gave it a squeeze.

…Okay he was lying he absolutely could not handle it.

He'd heard promising things about kissing from many a visual novel, but he hadn't expected it to feel this good. If regular quick pecks and the lingering kiss were already so satisfying, he shuddered to think what a truly deep kiss would feel like. He feared he wasn't physically or emotionally prepared for it.

A fear that was confirmed when Kris's teeth lightly grazed Berdly's beak and an embarrassing chirrup escaped his throat.

Kris pulled away suddenly with pursed lips and a deeply red face, eyeing Berdly with a bewildered expression. He found himself nearly trailing after the human, frustrated that they'd break the kiss when they were so close to going further beyond.

“Sorry, what was that?” they squeaked, the edges of their mouth twitching upwards. Their normal voice wasn't necessarily the pinnacle of graveness, but it had reached a considerably higher pitch.

Ignoring the panicky, anxious beating of his SOUL, Berdly deployed all of the calm and collected demeanor he could muster.

“What was what?” he stuttered instantly. He needed to find out why his default answer to questions he didn't want to ponder was to play dumb so he could correct it posthaste.

Kris's lips morphed into an incredulous grin. “Did you chirp?”

“No!” Berdly lied.

“Oh my god.” Kris cackled. They leaned forward and Berdly choked on the air he was breathing. “Do that again. That's hilarious.”

“I didn't do anything!” the bluebird squawked. “As a matter of fact, why were y-you doing that with your… l-lips… and uh… t-teeth?! Were we not simply supposed to cover the basics?!”

(He desperately ignored the voice in the back of his head that silently urged his rival to kiss him like that again.)

For a second, Kris looked like they'd gotten caught in the act, a light red dusting their cheeks, before immediately reverting their expression back into blank slate mode.

They tilted their head. “Hm?”

“Y-you know what I mean!”

“Nope.” they averted their eyes innocently. “Can't say I do.”

“Now who's playing dumb, you imp?!” Berdly growled, feathers fluffed.

“So you admit you were playing dumb?”

“Gah!” Berdly threw his wings up in the air. “You're impossible!”

Kris shot him a self-satisfied smile, signing ‘Thank you!’ in a deliberately slow manner, like they were taunting him.

A loaded silence hung between the two of them. Berdly broke it before it could get awkward, one of his many skills in life.

“…So how is it that you're not too bad at this whole… k-kissing thing?” the bluebird mumbled awkwardly. He refused to pay his rival a direct compliment.

Kris shrugged. “Susie.”

Berdly furrowed his brows. Did he hear that right? Did Kris, perhaps… mispronounce that somehow?

“What.” he blurted out, unable to hide his surprise.

Kris nodded, confirming that there were, indeed, no misheard words. “We tried it out a couple times. Before she got with Noelle.”

“You… “tried it out”…?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Kris nodded again, like that was a completely normal admission and hadn't at all made Berdly's entire train of thought stop in its tracks. “Her mouth is huge. It was cool.”

Berdly wanted to pry further, but his brain decided he shouldn't, a bitter feeling welling up within him. He pushed that feeling aside, filing it under “things to not think about again”.

“Back to what matters, though-” Kris changed the subject immediately, leaning closer and putting their hands on Berdly's waist. “I'm not giving up until I get you to do that again.”

Berdly shuddered, looking everywhere but at the human. He shimmied away, but whenever he moved back a little, they'd get closer in turn.

“D-do what?” he cursed the stutter in his voice.

“We've played this game before.” Kris rolled their eyes, but the corners of their mouth twitched up in amusement. “Don't bother.”

They started inching even closer, sliding their legs over Berdly's and practically climbing halfway onto his lap. The bluebird kept moving back, SOUL beating a mile a minute, his throat completely parched. Seemingly noticing the pattern, his rival's mischievous expression fell ever so slightly and they slowed to a stop, right before Berdly would have lost the battle with his abdominal muscles and fallen back on the cushions. 

“Tell me if I go too far, okay?” they stage-whispered, giving an exaggerated, playful wink. Berdly was surprised he could see the action under their bangs.

Berdly hesitated, but nodded curtly. A feeling of relief at their consideration washed over him, before it was immediately replaced by the panic of essentially being thrown onto the couch, his back colliding with it uncomfortably. He opened his beak to give the human a piece of his mind for having very clearly pushed him, but the words died before they even passed through his vocal chords.

Maybe his species still held leftover instincts from olden times, because for a split second, with Kris hovering above him, their hair falling around their face and their crimson eyes fixed on his, something deep within Berdly's subconscious wanted him to go limp and give in to whatever Kris wanted to do to him.

Thankfully, that “something” was clearly nothing to pay any mind to, because it retreated back to the hell it crawled out of just in time for him to squawk indignantly and attempt to squirm out of Kris's grip.

“G-get off me, y-you-”

He moved to whack the human with a wing, but they were prepared. Barely budging, they grabbed his wing with one hand and effortlessly slammed it back down on the couch above his head, smirking lazily. The action got them much closer to him.

…The “something” came back. That probably wasn't supposed to happen. Berdly should've probably taken a moment to be unnerved by it.

(He didn't.)

(He also disregarded the fact that Kris was holding his wing down so loosely that even someone with a low Strength stat such as himself could easily break free of their grip.)

Kris leaned even closer - as if they weren't close enough already - and hovered right above Berdly's neck. His breath hitched in his throat, and they seemed to notice, because they laughed a little at his reaction.

“C'moooon, birdie.” they crooned flirtatiously, nosing between the feathers. “Sing for me.”

If Berdly hadn't already given up on fighting out of Kris's grip, he would have instantly done so now, the way they purred out the words doing something to his SOUL and making him putty in the human's hands. Wh-why did they have to say it like that…?!

“You're a pest.” he choked out viciously, breaths ragged like he'd been running a marathon.

Wrong move. He physically felt the human smiling into his neck, shuddering at the sensation of their breathy laughter ruffling his feathers.

“And you're a bird.” they retaliated, their tone still unbearably flirty. “So come hunt me.”

Berdly's entire body flared with goosebumps. He tried to think of ways to avoid having to repeat the embarrassing ordeal of chirruping at his goddamn rival, but he drew several blanks in quick succession; it seemed his brain had turned back into primordial soup.

Kris's nuzzling and soft breaths morphed into light kisses as they went on, the contact of their lips on his feathers making Berdly feel dizzy. He could hear a faraway voice in the back of his head telling him not to give in, that he was smarter than this, but he disregarded it without much thought. Why wouldn't he give in to something that felt so good? Besides, the hard thumps of his SOUL in his chest and the occasional flirty comments from the human hovering over him were drowning it out anyways. Out of earshot, out of mind, right?

Kris kissed right above Berdly's collarbone, lingering longer than normal, and he immediately chirruped again. He couldn't tell whether the action was a voluntary choice he made so Kris would cease their extremely distracting antics or if the human had somehow once again pulled that wildly embarrassing noise out of him. He didn't think about it.

“There you go.” Kris murmured, still way too close to Berdly's neck for him to not feel like he was about to die. “Now I know just which buttons to press to get you to do that.”

Berdly nearly sighed with relief, assuming that would be the end of it.

…Except Kris didn't relent. Why didn't they relent?! Why were they still kissing his neck-

Surprising even himself, Berdly's brain returned to full functionality when Kris nipped the spot they were kissing, lightly tugging at a feather. Suddenly, he was aware of how insanely lightheaded he was beginning to feel, how hard it was to string words together to form sentences. The feeling of their teeth dragging across his neck made his stomach churn, SOUL working overtime in his chest.

Hm. Must've been nausea-related. He needed to stop whatever this was before things got uglier.

“K-Kris.” he breathed, finally managing to bring himself to push them away lightly. His entire body felt like it had caught on fire. “Slow down. I-I'm not…”

Like they'd insinuated however long prior, Kris didn't prod further, backing away with a teasing smirk. They were shorter than him when the two stood side by side, but at that moment, in the Dreemurr residence's couch, Berdly felt like he was beneath them in more ways than one. Why did they have to… l-look at him like that?

His SOUL stuttered.

“…I'm not accustomed to this.” the bluebird finished lamely, begging himself to look away from Kris's eyes, barely peeking out from under their bangs.

“Oh?” the human's tone matched perfectly with the shit-eating grin plastered across their face. “I thought you were the rizzmaster. What happened?”

Berdly's feathers fluffed up, a blush unwillingly rising to his cheeks. “You unbearable…” he breathed in deeply, screwing his eyes shut. “Fine. I admit it. I've never… d-done this with anyone. Is that what you want me to say?”

His rival pulled him closer to them, wrapping their arms around him. With that gesture, the addicting warmth of Kris's embrace enveloped Berdly once again. His theory that humans were simply naturally warmer than most monsters prevailed. He didn't have time to let out a squawk of protest before they flipped over so that they were laying on their back and he was draped over their chest.

“Nah.” Kris murmured, lazily stroking the feathers in the back of Berdly's neck in a way that had him feeling like nothing more than an amoeba. “Just teasing.”

The bluebird was quite sure his SOUL wasn't supposed to beat so violently. He ignored this part of his inner monologue, as well as virtually everything else, because Kris's fingers were still cradling through his crest feathers and his eyelids were getting heavy. The urge to coo was getting harder and harder to fight.

“So…” Berdly mumbled drowsily, fighting to keep his eyes open. It was important to him that he get the question out. “What grade did I get in PDA Training?”

The human under him audibly laughed, shaking both Berdly and themselves with the effort of keeping it contained. “Of course you'd ask that, nerdass.”

“Answer the question.”

“Let me think. Hmm…” Berdly wasn't looking at Kris, but he could imagine them exaggeratedly putting a finger to their chin in thought. “A B plus, I'd say.”

Berdly squawked in outrage, his previous sleepiness temporarily forgotten as he propped himself up with his wings and glared down at the human. “Pardon?!”

His rival visibly muffled a laugh. “Alright, fine, if you could just lay back down and relax, I'll think about raising it to an A minus.” they sighed exasperatedly. “That good enough?”

Berdly hmph-ed, plopping back down on top of Kris and relishing in the way the air was knocked out of them. He fought the urge to listen to the beating of their SOUL and proceeded to immediately lose that battle within the first two nanoseconds.

“Satisfactory, I suppose.” he conceded.

Kris smiled gently - not a smirk, but a genuine smile. They craned their neck forward and planted a small, soft kiss on Berdly's forehead, as casually as if they'd just shaken hands.

“Good boy.” they praised him, giving him one last look of playful affection before laying their head back down.

A small, itty-bitty, very tiny and insignificant and unimportant part of Berdly's brain swooned at their words, smiling giddily and kicking its nonexistent talons. Berdly metaphorically incinerated it and swept the ashes away, not bothering to hold a funeral.

…There wasn't much more he could do now, was there? He was growing tired again, anyways - he'd gone to bed quite late last night, busy finishing the last stretch of the new Critterkit game he'd been obsessively playing for the past week. He had a hunch Kris would want to have a try.

Hesitantly, he allowed his eyelids to drop to the gentle thrumming of Kris's SOUL, grateful for the human's fingers parsing through the feathers in the back of his head aiding him in his impromptu slumber.

[…]

Well.

That was an eventful afternoon, that's for sure.

Kris didn't necessarily expect that this entire situation would end with Berdly slumped over on top of them, snoring softly, but they supposed they weren't complaining. He couldn't be obnoxious in his sleep, now, could he?

Besides, he looked so… peaceful. Kris had never seen him this calm - even during the sleepover, when they'd cuddled, the last thing they remembered was him rigidly curled up in their embrace, even bristling ever so slightly. Right now, he looked incredibly relaxed and content, baby blue feathers smooth against his skin and brow unfurrowed.

Well, his glasses were a bit askew and it was probably uncomfortable to sleep on them, but that was easily fixable. Slowly, as to not startle him, Kris reached out to take them off and placed them on the table behind their head, right on top of the book of hymns. Berdly only twitched a little, expression unchanging.

The bluebird was a sound sleeper. Kris didn't know why that was surprising to them, but it was. They'd expected him to at least be a little restless, but he was so still and quiet, the only indication he was even present was the (actually remarkably light) weight on top of the human and his quiet snoring.

…They couldn't really explain why they were still watching the rise and fall of his chest, listening to the little sounds he made while their combined body warmth damn near lulled them to sleep too, so they elected to ignore that.

As if on autopilot, Kris reached a hand out again and placed it on Berdly's cheek. Instinctively, the bluebird leaned his head on it, making a noise adorably reminiscent of a coo. They tentatively scratched the area at a rhythmic pace, moving the feathers around. His feathers were so soft. That near-constant preening did wonders for his plumage.

The human's cheeks warmed.

They wondered if Berdly liked scritches. They wondered if he'd react in any way, if they moved their hand just below his beak and-

(Hey, did you know Lancer's kicking absolute ass at poker right now?)

Kris sucked in an audible breath, flinching in place and clutching the cushion next to them in surprise. They fought to keep their SOUL's violent thrumming in check.

‘You don't. Say.’ they replied inwardly.

(Yeah!) YOU continued, clearly unbothered. (I know he's literally a sentient jack of spades, but he's like, what? Ten? And he's winning against his dad and everything! Rouxls has like two thousand Dark Bucks riding on him by now.)

‘Cool.’ Kris narrowed their eyes, deeply grateful that the entity hadn't seemed to notice the current predicament. ‘Maybe you should go back and keep watching him go at it.’

(Maybe I will, honestly. It was pretty fun.) YOU mused distractedly. (You wouldn't think it, but I swear, that kid's poker face is- oh my god is Berdly sleeping on top of you.)

Well. So much for the entity not noticing.

(I need to know what led to this.) YOU cackled.

‘Nope.’ Kris fought back against the light tug characteristic of their SOUL trying to take control of their actions. ‘No you don't.’

(Fine. I'll just read your thoughts about it instead.) the entity huffed childishly. (See how you like it.)

Kris groan-sighed. The entity was bluffing, they knew that, but it would find some other way to prod and be really annoying about it if they didn't tell it anything, so they relented, if only just a little.

‘I was getting him used to PDA.’ the human grumbled. ‘To make it easier to fool people and all.’

(Yeah, okay, because historically that has always worked out.) YOU snarked.

Kris raised an eyebrow. ‘“Historically”?’

(Yeah, historically.) the entity chirped. (In the fiction of the olden times.)

Kris rolled their eyes. ‘Not this again.’

(I'm telling you, kid, this is gonna bite you in the ass sooner or later.) YOU warned, sounding an annoying amount like an old-fashioned parent. (Now are you gonna shake the poor sap awake? It's getting late.)

Before the human could reply, YOU jerked their arm quickly and Berdly shifted on top of them, blinking sleep out of his eyes. His drowsy demeanor drained out of him once he locked eyes with the human.

“Uh.” he cheeped.

“Um.” Kris replied, just as intelligently. “'Sup?”

The bluebird squinted, eyes flitting around as if he was trying to process his surroundings. “I-is this just my poor vision playing tricks on me, or am I…”

“You're laying on top of me, yes.” Kris confirmed. They really didn't feel like speaking, but he most definitely couldn't read their signs right now.

Berdly flung himself off of the human so quickly and gracefully it was almost like he magically gained the ability to fly. Talons now planted on the ground, he dusted himself off, cheeks flushed.

They ignored the SOUL's coo of (Awwww, what a cutie!) coming from their subconscious.

“My apologies.” he mumbled. “I must have not slept well last night. I didn't mean to…”

“It's fine, dude. We're fake partners, aren't we?” the human reassured him with a light pat to his wing. “I think you might wanna go, though - it's like 7PM.”

Berdly's eyes bugged out, feathers fluffing up. As if on cue, his phone alarm rang out from inside his pocket. He quickly silenced it before continuing to freak out.

“M-my shift!” he squeaked. “I'm late!”

He looked around wildly, probably trying to find a smudge of color that vaguely looked like his glasses. Kris saved him the embarrassment by reaching over the table and handing them to him. The bluebird gave them a nod of acknowledgement, pushing the glasses up his nose, and began speedwalking towards the door. His talons clacked on the ground like heels as he strutted.

“I really must be off, Kris.” he said hurriedly. “B-but, um. Thank you? For the… experience.”

Kris chuckled, giving him a two-finger salute. “Anytime, birdie.”

They may have relished a little too much in the flustered, wide-eyed look Berdly gave them before he opened the front door and rushed off. Rather than get up and go somewhere else, they remained lying on the couch, now staring at the ceiling.

(Aw, you think he's a cutie too, don't you?) YOU teased. Kris disregarded the voice with a heavy, drained sigh.

Chapter Text

Kris gradually woke up at the ripe old hour of 11:33AM to the incessant buzzing of their phone, forgotten among their bedsheets the previous night. Their eyes weighed heavily with the inordinate exhaustion of spending several hours without a SOUL directly tethered to their body, the feeling so debilitating that they instinctively ignored the buzzing and stumbled to their SOUL's reinforced metal prison in a zombie-like fashion.

(Finally!) YOU huffed as they approached. (Almost thought you died out there! You look like hell, by the way.)

“Jus' got back.” they replied sluggishly, cracking the birdcage's door open and watching the SOUL vibrate with excitement. “Behave, or y'r gettin' the spray bottle again.”

(Yeah, yeah. You got it.)

The heart-shaped object hovered close, allowing Kris to grab it between their fingers. They took a deep breath and forced it into their chest, ribcage buzzing with its loud thrums as it merged with their body. Though the sensation was strange, at least the process was always much less painful than ripping their SOUL out.

The reaction was instantaneous; their body revitalized like they'd taken their ADHD medication about thirty minutes prior, a deep, intense amount of energy flowing within them, coursing through their entire body. They sighed in relief at the sensation. Mornings had gotten so much easier since the entity had lost most of its control over them.

They were still definitely hungry, though. Hopefully mom had made breakfast pie. Kris made their way to the door with a newfound pep in their step and-

Their feet planted themselves stubbornly on the ground, arms refusing to reach over to turn the doorknob. Moody from waking up so abruptly, they couldn't force back a groan of annoyance in time.

(Phone.) they heard YOU command from the depths of their brain.

Ah, right. Their phone was still buzzing, wasn't it? It was a miracle - or a test from the Angel - that whoever was calling hadn't given up yet. Not even Noelle was this insistent when it came to phone calls.

Kris walked back to their bed unenthusiastically, mourning their breakfast pie as they searched for their phone under the sheets. They squinted at the bright screen, reading out the contact name.

—

nerd bird 👓🐦

—

Oh. No wonder it was still ringing. Berdly had been… weirdly conversational these past couple days, even disregarding their stupid ruse. He'd been like that ever since they…

Kris took a deep breath, mentally preparing themselves for whatever bullshit the bluebird was about to hit them with before picking up the call.

“Well hello there! It was about time you picked up, wasn't it?” Berdly drawled, tutting. “Making your loving fake boyfriend wait… how unbecoming!”

“G'mornin'.” they slurred into the speaker, ignoring literally everything he said after the first sentence for both their sakes. “Better have a good excuse for wakin' me up.”

“W-well of course I do, my dear!” Berdly chirped, a little awkwardly. “Firstly, apologies for waking you up - though it's not very good for you to sleep for so long and you should start thinking about fixing your circadian rhythm. Secondly, need I remind you that today is the day of our end of term house party at the Holiday residence?”

Kris's SOUL dropped to their stomach at the reminder. Angel above. Not a house party. Anything but a house party.

“Oh.” was all they could bring themselves to say.

“Oh, indeed!” Berdly agreed, still sounding far too cheerful for the human's taste. “And you see, I just had the most splendid idea-”

“Nope.” Kris cut him off, glowering even though he couldn't see it.

The bluebird sputtered on the other side of the call. “I haven't even finished-”

“I know what you're gonna say. Don't say it.”

“B-but-!”

“Berdly.” Kris warned, hoping they got the message across without sounding genuinely threatening.

“Kris, believe me, I understand better than those neurotypical plebeians how you feel about large gatherings and deafeningly loud music.” Berdly let out a frustrated huff. “Just think about it-”

“It's not my thing.” the human grunted. “You know this. Don't push your luck.”

“You know very well social gatherings like these are not my “thing” either,” Berdly sighed. “but there's no better opportunity to-”

Kris rolled their eyes exaggeratedly even though the bluebird couldn't see them. “Not goin'.”

They tried to hang up and finally go downstairs to eat, but to their frustration, YOU made their thumb move on its own and miss the “End Call” button. They suppressed an annoyed grumble, in part because the entity also made them do so.

(But Kriiiiiis!) YOU squealed thinly like a petulant child. (Wouldn't this be optimal for your oh so genius, totally not convoluted fake dating plan?)

Kris groaned inwardly, sitting on their bed and crossing one leg over the other. There really was no escape, was there? They were inherently doomed to attend that damn party -  the entity's hold was still strong enough to make sure of that if it so wished, and Berdly was certainly trying to be persuasive.

“Just think! It's the perfect opportunity to put our efforts to good use!” Berdly added, as if complementing the entity's words. “Or, Angel forbid, was our PDA practice… merely an excuse? Wish fulfillment?”

Angel, Kris wished they could punt him into the stratosphere right about now. The bluebird was testing their morning moodiness to its limits.

“You are such a hassle.” they hissed through gritted teeth, though there was less bite to it than they intended. “Why am I even fake-dating you?”

Berdly snickered genuinely, sounding like a chainsmoking crow in its fifties. To their horror, Kris couldn't help but smile like an absolute idiot at the goofy sound. They were so glad there wasn't anyone around to bear witness to it.

(I'm still here.) YOU teased in the back of their mind.

Well, anyone who mattered.

(Meanie.) the entity huffed, fading into their subconscious.

“Because you simply adore me, of course!” the bluebird crowed in a mocking tone. “Which is why you will be accompanying me to this hellish class gathering!”

“I said nothing of the sort-” Kris snapped hastily, but Berdly cut them off.

“Ah ah ah! Don't just start denying it so vehemently!” he tutted. “As people in a relationship, are we not supposed to meet each other halfway? If I have to suffer, so do you!”

Kris groan-sighed for a prolonged amount of time, loud and drawn-out enough for the bluebird to hear.

“Neither of us wants to go to this goddamn party.” they grumbled. “We are not meeting halfway in the slightest. We're not even walking tangentially in each other's direction.”

“It was an infuriating little pest who once told me mid-Sleepwars match that we must all make sacrifices for the sake of the bit.” Berdly recited dutifully. Kris could hear the smirk in his voice. “Won't you heed their words?”

“I don't know.” the human smiled fondly despite themselves. “You did just call them an infuriating pest.”

Berdly was silent for a while. Kris had a bad feeling about this.

“…Would you prefer m'theydy?” he chirped, sounding like the audio embodiment of a shit-eating grin.

“I'm hanging up on you now.” Kris announced in their typical deadpan tone.

“4PM!” Berdly squawked out hurriedly, laughing all the while. Kris could faintly make out the sound of flapping wings through the phone. “Be there or in three to five business days I will break up with you in the most insufferable way I can possibly think of and make you seem like the bad guy in every argu-”

His voice cut off as the human finally pressed that extremely tempting red button without the entity's interference. They turned off their phone and got back up again, blinking blearily. They were so hungry.

(With the way you two bicker, anyone would fall for your ruse.) YOU snickered. (Keep it up!)

‘I don't need your approval.’ Kris snapped back at it.

They sighed, finally opening the door to their room and walking downstairs. Well, nothing left to do but have brunch, take their meds, and wait till 4PM, right?

[…]

Immediately as they stopped at the gates of the Holiday residence (fashionably late as the Angel intended), the atmosphere emanating from inside the manor was deeply unpleasant. The vibes were not it, so to speak. Kris would have turned back right the way they came… if it wasn't for the fact that Berdly was trailing just a few steps behind them, prim and proper in his silly little beige shorts and white dress shirt with a silly little black bowtie.

(Kris just wore a clean version of the same sweater and pants combo they always wore. No one mentioned anything about a damn dress code. What was this, a royal ball?)

“Prepared?” the bluebird asked them when he finally reached them.

“Ready as I'll ever be.” they replied unenthusiastically.

“Do you remember the plan?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kris rolled their eyes. “I go inside first, you walk in a couple of minutes later, we do something cheesy, profit.”

“Splendid.” Berdly nodded approvingly. His talons dragged across the ground. “Well, I'll be around. Get a move on, m'theydy!”

Kris gripped both of their hands tightly together to avoid socking him in the stomach, eyes narrowed.

“This party better be bearable.” they growled. “Expect a brick through your window tonight if I have a bad time.”

Berdly crowed with laughter as he walked away, though the sound quickly turned a little awkward once he realized they weren't joking. The last thing Kris saw before stepping through the gates was their fake boyfriend very conspicuously hiding behind a tree, shooting them a thumbs up with a nod.

(It was stupidly endearing. Kris looked away.)

Upon entering the manor, the vibes became a little less rancid, surprisingly. The music was loud, but not blaring, the people that were inside were conversing at a reasonable and not totally obnoxious volume, and most importantly, the Big Light™ was pleasantly dimmed. A sense of pure relief washed over Kris. They no longer needed to worry about sensory issues, just getting stuck into annoying conversations and having to deal with people they were acquainted with for longer than a couple of minutes at a time. Thankfully, YOU had dropped the socialite habit a while ago - and it was also taking a backseat after that morning's situation.

Susie and Noelle were the first to notice their arrival. The saurian immediately perked up and bounded over to them, football-tackling them so hard they would have fallen to the ground if they weren't already expecting it.

“If it ain't the enby of the hour!” she howled, grinning. The way the hem of her cardigan swished made them imagine that her stubby tail was wagging rapidly behind her. “Why'd you make me wait, dumbass?!”

At the saurian’s loud call, the other partygoers seemed to realize their presence as well, all saying their hellos. Kris waved back at them.

“Yo, dude!”

“Heya!”

“hOI!!”

“He'y Kris,!”

“…hi.”

“Hi, Kris!” Noelle greeted with a smile, having followed Susie to their side. “I, um, I didn't think you were coming, faha!”

‘Thought about it. Seemed decent.’ they signed in reply, giving up on fighting out of Susie's playful grip. ‘I like the ambiance.’

“Thanks!” the reindeer's smile widened. “I wanted to make this more bearable for you and Berdly if you guys actually did come… I may not have the same sensitivities as you two, but I get what it's like!”

“Hey, where's the nerd bird, anyways?” Susie piped up, loosening her hold on Kris just enough for them to escape. “I mean, if you're here, he can't be far behind.”

The human shrugged. Susie stared at them with narrowed eyes and a playful, disbelieving grin.

“You two are pretty much attached at the hip by now.” she huffed. “You can't seriously expect me to believe he didn't follow you here like a lost puppy!”

‘Might not come.’ Kris signed. ‘Doesn't know the big light is dimmed.’

A knock sounded at the door, the noise coming from below rather than in front of it. Sure enough, once Noelle opened the door, Berdly was standing in front of it, outfit just as ironed-out as it looked a few minutes ago and crest feathers perfectly combed back.

Right on cue; the nerd really had a knack for the dramatics. Kris took a surreptitious breath in an attempt to achieve peace of mind. Showtime.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” Berdly chirped as he stepped inside. “Apologies for my tardiness.”

“Berdly, hi!” Noelle waved at him, smiling brightly. “It's not like you to be late! What held you up?”

“Oh, just a couple of house chores.” Berdly waved a wing laxly. “Nothing much.”

“Sure you weren't playing some nerd game and lost track of time?” Susie teased, remarkably playful in comparison to how she usually talked to the bluebird.

Berdly bristled ever so slightly, scoffing good-humoredly. “I would never lose track of time for an event!”

A chorus of “Hey, Berdly.” rippled through the living room, with different degrees of enthusiasm. Kris allowed a fond smile to grow on their face. The action came much more naturally than they had expected.

‘Birdie.’ they signed. ‘You came.’

Something in the atmosphere shifted. Kris could feel everyone's attention hinge on the two of them, a little bemused. They weren't aware their other classmates were close enough to read their signs, but that only worked in their favor.

“Of course.” Berdly replied, just as warmly. His wings reached out and settled over Kris's wrists. “I couldn't let m'theydy bear the horrors of the Big Light™ alone, now, could I?”

Kris sighed, but the sound came out dreamy. It was becoming easier and easier to push back feelings of annoyance at that stupid ass nickname.

In the back of their mind, they could make out the hushed sounds of a very audibly confused conversation between Snowy and MK. The ploy was working flawlessly.

“Yo, did… did Berdly actually say that, or am I making stuff up?” MK whisper-shouted, bewildered.

Kris's SOUL raced with the adrenaline of a good prank. Absolutely perfect timing. It was now or never.

“Yeah, I think so…??” Snowy sounded more pensive, though equally as shocked. “Is this a new joke Kris is-”

Fighting back a victorious, cheeky grin, they grabbed the collar of Berdly's silly little dress shirt with an index finger, pulled him down to their level, and pressed their lips to his beak. It only lasted a moment, just a chaste peck, but with the way the entire room fell into a silence so thick it seemed to negate the background music through sheer force of will, one would think they'd started flat-out sucking each other's faces at the door.

‘It's nice to see you.’ Kris signed, shooting him a flirty look.

Berdly's feathers poofed up, the blush on his cheeks evident as he tried and failed to remain composed. Kris fought back a snicker. He was so easily affected by simple things like that.

“Th-the feeling is mutual, my dear!” he stammered. “Let us head insi-”

“WHAT.”

The previous silence in the background was immediately shattered by a squawk of pure, unbridled shock coming from Snowy. Kris finally turned back to look at their other classmates. Snowy and MK had near-identical expressions of catatonia plastered on their faces, their respective mouths open in shock. Temmie was still smiling, but her eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly and she was sweating buckets, holding her hardboiled egg friend tightly for, perhaps, emotional support. Catti's face had shifted into a wide-eyed look of surprise, though she seemed like she was trying her best to make it revert back to her typical unamused expression. Jockington looked mostly the same, but his nonexistent eyebrows were somehow so high they were about to hit the ceiling.

It was becoming harder and harder for Kris to fight back their mischievous look. This was fucking amazing. This singular interaction made the morning phone call situation completely worth it. They were beginning to think they would never pull a prank as satisfying as this one.

“I know, right?! That shit's weird!” Susie piped up, aggressively gesturing to Kris and their fake boyfriend.

“Y-yeah, get used to it…” Noelle mumbled, her voice breathy and a little higher-pitched than normal. It seemed she was not yet used to the fact that Kris and Berdly were dating. Well, fake dating, but what their childhood friend didn't know couldn't hurt her.

“Uh… Not to be, like, nosy or anything, but…” MK shifted their feet on the ground awkwardly, averting their eyes. “How did this happen…??”

Kris's hands stayed firmly down. Berdly did not at all seem willing to tell such a story, either. They were glad he understood. Besides, what if they each said something that didn't line up when put together? They couldn't afford the possibility of stepping all over each other's alibis. The misremembering excuse would only work so long - Berdly had a really good memory when the situation called for it, and Kris wasn't really known for being forgetful.

Good thing for Susie, they supposed.

“Damn, that's a story and a half!” the saurian cackled. She turned to Kris and Berdly bashfully. “If, uh, you two are cool with me tellin' what you told Noelle and I?”

Kris did a thumbs up. Berdly looked away, fidgeting a little.

“You may let our fellow classmates know of our exploits, yes.” he conceded, sounding awkward.

Susie nodded, grinning. She took a deep breath in preparation.

“Okay so basically this one time we were all having lunch at ICE-E's, right? And at first we were just talking about hypotheticals…”

And so Susie recounted the events, with asides from Noelle whenever the reindeer deemed it necessary. The whole time, it seemed like Berdly himself was making an effort not to comment on anything that was said. Kris found the way his plumage bristled and his wing feathers twitched quite amusing.

“And this has been going on for over three weeks now!” Susie finished, laughing deliriously. “Three weeks! Can you guys believe that?!”

“…nope.” Catti muttered, stunned. Her voice was chorused with four equally disbelieving others.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Not at all.”

“Not even, a, little bit!”

“tEm iz… lost..,”

“Don't worry, I can't, either, and I was there for the first reveal.” Noelle whispered to Catti.

The shock eventually dissipated - as much as it could, at least - as everyone decided to disregard the certifiably insane info they'd been provided and moved on to enjoy the festivities. Berdly and Kris lingered close to one another, in part to keep up appearances, but also because they were just introverted enough to not know what to do separately at a house party. It was a little embarrassing how often they'd instinctively gravitate towards each other in events like these, even before the fake dating sitch.

Deciding to make the most of the nightmare they'd been dragged to, Kris made their way to the snack table, their eyes locked in on a bowl of various candy. Berdly trailed behind them at first, but his head suddenly tilted up and he stopped halfway, seeming to be eavesdropping on something. The human's curiosity was, unfortunately, stronger than their sweet tooth at that moment, so after one last longing look at the candy bowl, they backtracked to where Berdly stood, looking a little apprehensive. Immediately, they could hear two familiar voices, standing beside the smaller couch to the left.

“I-I mean, it's…”

“Smells fishy, don't it? Which is weird, 'cause neither of them are fish, haha…”

Kris's eyes narrowed. Well, apparently someone didn't disregard that info after all.

“Like… Berdly? Really?” Snowy snickered. “Wow, they're so mean for that, right? Hah…”

Berdly visibly tensed up, eyebrows creasing. Kris was certain that they wouldn't have noticed that ordinarily, but their eyes had been mostly trained on him since they started eavesdropping.

(Something simmered within them. Something ugly.)

“Yo, Snowy… but what if it isn't a prank?” MK piped up, voice hesitant.

“You really think that?” Snowy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “C'mon, look at how they're playing him like a fiddle! If that nerd was any more whipped, he'd be chantilly!”

“Heh…” MK chuckled weakly, looking away. “I guess you're right… But I just can't imagine Kris would-”

Kris couldn't bear to listen anymore. They stomped over to the two monsters, anger bubbling under their skin and a scowl painted across their face. They swept their bangs to the side to properly glare at them, relishing in how they practically cowered once they spotted them. Visibly angry Kris was an anomaly that was not to be messed with.

‘You got a problem?’ they signed slowly, clenching their jaw.

Snowy squawked. It wasn't as enjoyable to hear as when Berdly did it. “Uh- Wh- It's- n-nothing! W-we were just-”

‘Leaving.’ Kris was positive their icy glare could kill. ‘You were just… leaving. Right?’

“Yeah!” MK nodded fervently. “Y-yeah, exactly! We were leaving! B-bye!!”

The two monsters turned tail and fled, like the cowards they were. Satisfied, Kris swiveled around casually and walked back to the snack table, grabbing a mini pizza (which they immediately devoured like a ravenous animal) and a handful of butterscotch candies. They dropped their weight on the couch with a huff and popped one of the candies into their mouth.

Berdly followed them, sitting to their right. They handed him a piece of candy and he broke it out of its wrapper, swirled it around in his mouth to get a taste, and effortlessly swallowed it. It always caught the human off guard when he did that, but they supposed it was just par for the course when you're a bird monster.

“You didn't have to do that.” he murmured after a while.

‘I wanted to.’ Kris signed, the candy wrapper crinkling between their fingers. ‘They were being assholes.’

“I suppose…” the bluebird attempted to recover, forcing a smirk onto his face. “A-and the joke is on them, anyways! Little do they know…”

No matter how hard he was trying to hide it, Berdly still looked upset, brows knitted together and glassy eyes glued to his lap. Kris didn't know what to do.

So they placed a comforting hand on Berdly's thigh, acting nonchalant, and hoped that would be enough of a distraction.

The bluebird drew in a sharp breath like he'd been wounded, saucer-wide eyes glued onto Kris's hand. He looked nonplussed, almost alarmed. The weight of their anxiety made Kris start to pull back slowly, afraid they'd crossed a boundary.

Except, as they were lifting their hand, Berdly's wing twitched to life and slapped right on top of it, pressing it down on his thigh. His wide-eyed look turned mortified, as if that had been an involuntary reaction. He quickly averted his eyes, flushing brightly, and snatched his wing away.

Hm. Indirect, but effective, Kris supposed. Their hand remained placed over Berdly's thigh while the bluebird it was attached to fidgeted with his wings in silence, gaze stubbornly avoiding the left side of his body.

The human huffed to themselves. Well that just wouldn't do. This was nowhere near as fun if Berdly wasn't looking their way, intentionally avoiding any reminder of the situation the two of them were in. Not to mention, they needed Snowy and MK to eat their words as soon as possible.

And what better way to get the bluebird's attention… than to do something that would practically force him to look?

Tentatively, they ran their thumb over the linen of his shorts. It was a slow, deliberate movement that immediately drove Berdly to snap his head towards them. His eyes narrowed into a weak glare, cheeks rife with color.

‘Something wrong?’ they mouthed, donning a shit-eating grin.

‘You pest.’ Kris could practically hear him hiss the words out, with how expressively he mouthed them. They bit back a snort.

They kept up their gentle petting (was it considered petting?), making a wider arc and covering more ground each time. The bluebird huffed in annoyance, but not even pretending to preen could mask how flustered he was, so it didn't take him long to drop the wing back down and attempt to pointedly look away from the human and their shenanigans.

Kris eyed Berdly silently through the corner of their eye. He'd gone rigid ever since they started moving their thumb over his thigh, wide, disbelieving eyes occasionally flicking down to the point of contact despite how hard he tried to avoid doing so. It was an extremely funny, extremely satisfying thing to witness, seeing him tongue-tied like that. They'd be lying if they said it didn't make them want to put more of their PDA practice to good use, not to mention how warm he felt under their palm (though that could be in part because of the blush that had spread through him).

Besides, it would make Snowy and MK feel like total jackasses for doubting the validity of their very real relationship. And that was a reward in and of itself.

Kris removed their hand from Berdly's thigh, noting how he almost snapped out of some sort of trance when they did so. The look he sent them seemed slightly disappointed, mostly… longing? Was that the right word? All in all, he looked vaguely dejected that they'd taken back their hand. They thought it was kinda silly.

Slowly, they dipped the couch cushion as they pulled their legs onto it. Berdly's eyes snapped to the movement, widening more and more the closer the human's legs got to him. Before long, they'd slid their legs over his thighs and sat down on his lap, straddling him. They looped their arms around his neck and moved closer, a lazy smirk dancing on their lips.

(Berdly's breath hitched in his throat and he opened his mouth ever so slightly, though no sound came out. The sight of him brought back a feeling Kris had ignored during the PDA practice at their house. They proceeded to ignore it again.)

“Is this okay?” they asked softly.

Berdly looked at them like they were insane, breathing labored. His eyes flickered away in an instant as his feathers fluffed up.

“…I-it's acceptable.” he whispered in reply.

Kris loosened their looped arms and backed away from the bluebird ever so slightly, eyeing him sternly.

“You better not be lying to me.” they chastised. “I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I'm not uncomfortable.” Berdly replied quickly, almost earnestly. “It's just- um. I never really, uh. Expect it. Or rather, expect you.”

Kris huffed out a small laugh and moved closer again, leaning their head on the crook of Berdly's neck and draping themselves over him like a cat. His SOUL was hammering so strongly in his chest that they could feel it even from where their head laid.

“Am I unpredictable?” they murmured huskily.

Berdly failed to fight back a strangled gasp, swallowing dryly. Kris's arms loosened around the bluebird's shoulders and they dragged their fingers down his back, biting the inside of their lip to avoid smiling at how his entire body shivered.

“Definitely.” he whispered, out of breath. “Um- P-please don't do that again.”

The human brought their arms back up to loop around Berdly's neck at once, SOUL skipping a beat with anxiety.

“I'm sorry.” they apologized awkwardly, suddenly self-conscious. “Was I pushing your boundaries?”

“N-not at all.” Berdly clarified with a breathy, awkward laugh. “It's just, uh. It kind of… gives mixed signals, I suppose?”

Kris furrowed their brows, though they knew the bluebird couldn't see them. What did that even mean?

“…It's an avian thing.” he added lamely.

“If you say so.” the human conceded, jotting that down in their memory.

They stayed like that for a while, Berdly perfectly still under the human's weight, chest rising and falling with his carefully controlled breaths. Kris couldn't help but notice his wings had lingered in place next to his body, feathers defiantly curled up into a “fist” on the couch cushions. They tsk-ed under their breath.

“…You can hold me too, y'know.” they prompted.

“I know that.” Berdly snapped halfheartedly, sounding like he was forcing the words out. “I'm just… waiting.”

“For?”

“For my body to stop seizing up.”

Kris's SOUL inexplicably skipped a beat at his words. They felt warm under their skin, glancing down at the wing closest to them.

“Take your time.” they hummed. “But if I wanted to cuddle something that doesn't reciprocate, I would have just gotten myself a life-sized plushie.”

Even if they hadn't been looking directly at his wing, the human would've known Berdly's plumage had poofed up by the feeling of his teensy tiny neck feathers tickling their cheek. They bit their bottom lip to prevent an errant giggle from escaping, shaking ever so slightly with the effort.

“Hmph.” he huffed, but Kris could hear the swish of his tail behind him. “I suppose I can push past my awkwardness and do that. For m'theydy.”

This time, they only lightly grumbled at the stupid pet name, rolling their eyes. They didn't have time to do much more, because right after that, he placed his wings over their back lightly, catching them completely off guard.

Their SOUL began racing in their chest immediately. Because of his physique, his wings engulfed a much larger area than the average monster's arms, especially with the way he was spreading the feathers out evenly to cover as much ground as he could. Kris felt like someone had just pulled a nice, fluffy blanket over them, one that intrinsically knew exactly where to wrap around them for maximum warmth and comfort.

And then the blanket squeezed them.

Goosebumps flared all over the human's skin as they were pressed flush against Berdly's chest, breath unwillingly catching in their throat. They weren't looking at him, but they could only imagine the look of smug satisfaction plastered on his stupid bird face.

(That should have made them feel annoyed, but instead, a weird warmth blossomed in their chest at the thought.)

All of a sudden, Kris couldn't think. Berdly had somehow almost perfectly replicated the feeling of a weighted blanket with his hold, and it was seriously messing with their head. The bluebird swooped his wings over their back, a gentle, comforting motion, and bent his head to nuzzle closer to them, letting out a nearly inaudible purr-like noise. The human shivered, entirely outside of their control, their breaths shallow and erratic as they melted into the embrace without resistance, sighing contentedly into his chest. What the hell was going on with them?!

“Okay, so maybe you did learn something from our practice session.” they managed to say, just barely, nuzzling further into Berdly and feeling how unbearably soft his plumage was.

“Whuh?” the bluebird slurred in response. He sounded clueless, completely out of it.

Kris didn't repeat themselves, rolling their eyes halfheartedly. He heard damn well what they'd said. It seemed like his methods of taunting them were getting better, too. He'd gotten so good at playing dumb that the tone of his breathy, choked out words seemed almost genuine.

Berdly exhaled blissfully into Kris's neck, the soft sound accompanied by a trill. The human's SOUL was beating far too loudly for their taste. They needed a distraction as quickly as possible. If they were left alone with thoughts of how desperately they wanted to prolong whatever the fuck was happening, th-then…

They lifted their head ever so slightly to look over the couch, Berdly simply following along with the motion to remain in the position he was in. Just barely in their field of vision, they could see Snowy and MK standing next to the stairs, unabashedly staring at the display with a flabbergasted expression. They made direct eye contact with Snowy in particular and sent him a cruel, crooked smirk, teeth poking out ever so slightly. The avian averted his eyes immediately with furrowed brows, MK following suit.

Satisfaction welled up within Kris, mixed with something else entirely, something a bit more protective. Fake dating as a prank had a lot more benefits than they'd realized.

[…]

Berdly wasn't sure if there had been a single moment since he entered the Holiday residence where he hadn't been completely freaking out.

Even now that he and Kris had lingered in the same position for quite a while and he was emotionally prepared enough to casually check his phone while his fake partner dozed silently on his lap, he was freaking out. How could people in relationships handle this sort of thing?! It was so terrifying! So anxiety-inducing! So… S-so…

(So comforting. So warm. So addicting.)

He stopped thinking about their predicament at once. What was the point of such, anyways? There were several other things for him to dedicate his marvelous brainpower to!

Namely, whatever kind of commotion had formed around the snack table.

“What're they up to?” Kris slurred, their voice muffled because their face was buried in his neck oh Angel- “Noisy.”

“Discussing house party activities, I believe.” Berdly replied, throat tight. “What drivel.”

“Some activities are fun.” Kris mumbled. “Keyword, some.”

Berdly scoffed. “Maybe if you're inebriated-”

“Well, I think it's about time we played some bitchin' games!” Susie announced, louder than the group had been speaking.

“I mean, it's certainly a way to have fun during a house party.” Noelle mumbled sheepishly. “As long as no one tries to-”

“Ooh, we should play Seven Minutes in Heaven!” MK suggested. “That way, more people play at the same time,  and everyone gets a turn!”

Noelle squeaked, blushing, while Susie suddenly looked extremely nervous. Most others looked enthused over the prospect, save for Catti, who had been standing to the side, clicking away on her phone.

“…pass.” she mumbled.

“G'ood call MK,!” Jockington quipped with a jovial grin. “We, should start with, our new hot, couple over, there!”

Berdly flinched in surprise, SOUL skipping several beats. Meanwhile, Kris simply raised one hand and deployed the universal sign for “buzz off”. Berdly couldn't muffle an amused snort in time.

“Yeah!” Snowy agreed, shooting the tangled mess of limbs that was previously Kris and Berdly a look through narrowed eyes. “I'm sure they'll love the opportunity.”

Kris begrudgingly peeled themselves out of Berdly's embrace at everyone's insistence (okay, that was a lie - they were practically torn away from Berdly by a very flustered and fidgety Susie begging them to “be a bro”, whatever that meant). Despite the bluebird's valiant efforts, neither of the two could find a good enough reason to not go along with the game. Before they knew it, they'd been ushered into the tiny closet, told the timer had started, and had the door slammed on them.

The silence was deafening. Berdly wanted to spontaneously combust on the spot.

“So…” Kris began, finding great interest in the tawny color of the wall under the dimmed lighting.

“So.” Berdly parroted, sweating a little. His SOUL's thrumming was quickening.

“…You wanna entertain this?” the human questioned quietly. “Play along a little?”

Berdly furrowed his brows slightly. What was there for them to “play along” with?

“But…” Berdly stared the human down, perplexed. “There's… there's no one else here. Why would we…?”

“Exactly. No one can see us.” they murmured. “We can wait it out. We can pretend we did something. Or we can go all out and commit to the bit, as they say. Up to you.”

Kris leaned ever so slightly closer, their fingers brushing over the bluebird's wing temptingly. Suddenly, he was struggling to rationalize not making the most of the situational privacy they'd been given.

“I know I wouldn't mind a repeat of the other day.” they added flirtatiously, winking.

“Y-you're…” Berdly swallowed dryly, trying to stay grounded. Why was it suddenly so hard to think properly? “Stop teasing.”

The human giggled. “Just say the word. Or make the first move, actually. I can't be the only one putting in the effort.”

Berdly grumbled in frustration under his breath. He took one, two steps forward, and Kris mirrored his actions, taking two steps back. Just like that, they were leaning casually against the wall behind them - the giftbox-filled closet was remarkably small. 

The bluebird slammed the palm of his wing against the wall right next to his rival's head, staring them down to the best of his ability. Trying not to let his gaze wander.

Waiting.

His breath was getting shallower. He couldn't think straight. He'd lost the battle against his wandering gaze. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take Kris's lips out of his sight for longer than a few seconds.

The human grinned roguishly, their gaze glinting with… something. Excitement, maybe? Either way, it promised nothing good.

“C'mon, where's your gusto?” they teased. “I don't bite. Unless you want me to.”

The sound of their voice and the wink that accompanied their last sentence was enough to break whatever spell had been cast on him. He snapped his head away, drawing a shaky breath. Whoever said humans couldn't use magic was dead fucking wrong. Kris was a siren, and Berdly had just narrowly avoided being dragged under by their song.

“W-well!” now that he'd broken free of his rival's clutches, Berdly was finding it hard to look their way again. “Not all of us can be so unbearably full of themselves all the time!”

“Hah!” Kris barked out a laugh. “You're funny. We love a self-aware king.”

“I changed my mind.” Berdly huffed, lowering his outstretched wing. “I am no longer going along with this.”

“Noooooooooo!” the human wailed dramatically. They swooned against the wall in an exaggerated and fake way. “The devastation! Please, Berdly, won't you kiss me with your man lips?

Berdly pointedly ignored the skip of his SOUL and the fluttering of his stomach at the human's words. He turned to face them.

“I don't have lips, you insufferable creature.” he snapped.

“Not with that attitude!” they shot back.

“That's not how that works.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.” the human's cheeky look was making Berdly feel unwise.

“Is not!”

“Is too.”

“Argh!” the bluebird pulled at his feathers, feeling one unintentionally being plucked. “You childish- Shut up!”

Kris grinned wider than he'd ever seen them, the spark of a challenge in their crimson gaze. “Make me.”

Berdly didn't even think once, much less twice. As soon as he heard the human say those words in that tone of voice, something clicked in his brain. His body moved on autopilot as he slammed his rival into the wall and pressed his beak to their lips, maybe a little harshly, savoring the feeling like it was the finest of ambrosias.

(The feeling of gaining the upper hand, of course. No other feeling. Definitely not the feeling of their lips moving against his beak, or their hand clutching the back of his head to keep him steady, or any of the sort.)

Every thought in his mind dulled into a blur. Kris seemed to sense this opportunity and proceeded to immediately take it, taking control of the situation by gripping Berdly's collar to pull him closer to them (completely ruining his pristine dress shirt and bowtie and why did he like how disheveled they were making him-), tilting their head for easier access. The bluebird didn't even try to fight it, choking back a noise of surprise.

Eventually, they parted, begrudgingly. The human was the first to pull away for once, considerably more out of breath than the last time the two of them had kissed. They stared up at Berdly with a crooked smirk while open-mouthed panting, one of their canines peeking through their upper lip. Berdly couldn't stop staring at the way their tussled hair fell over their eyes.

“I win.” they whispered cockily.

Berdly scoffed. He didn't care that he had fallen for their bait and given them exactly what they wanted. He was still the one who had been in control. For the most part.

What he did care about, though, was a small nick in the corner of the human's lip, tiny beads of red liquid glistening on it.

“Wh- you're bleeding!” he fretted. “D-did I- ?!”

“Hm?” Kris swiped their tongue over the cut absentmindedly. Berdly quickly looked away with a sharp inhale, lest he start staring. “Oh yeah, your beak grazed me a little, I think.”

“I'm really sorry.” Berdly breathed, feathers fluffed. “I forgot to consider-”

“It's okay.” the human shrugged. “It was kinda hot.”

Berdly stared at them, mouth agape and chest swarming with an unfamiliar sensation.

“What-”

“Nothing.” they replied instantly, averting their eyes. Their cheeks were painted a pretty red. It looked oddly… cute.

Belatedly, while attempting to ignore the traitorous thought that had made its way into his head, Berdly realized that he and Kris were still embracing each other, neither of them having let go.

(He found that he didn't care to change that.)

“Wanna go for another one?” his fake partner suggested casually, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Their voice was even and didn't waver in the slightest, but their body language showed how flustered they were about their request.

Berdly nearly died on the spot.

“Okay.” he agreed, very casual as long as you disregarded the crack in his voice.

And then they were kissing again, and Berdly couldn't bring himself to think about anything else. Kris was considerate and careful, yet extremely forward and even possessive, with how they gripped his waist like they wanted to keep him for themselves. It was disorienting. And frankly… a little attractive?

The bluebird cursed the thought even in his haze. It was rooted in the truth, though; Kris was attractive, weren't they? Like, objectively? It wasn't like he was giving out an opinion - he was sure everyone in his age range agreed with him on that. Maybe that was why he was so okay with them giving him his first kiss (and, uh, the three that occurred since then). Anyone would want to have their first kiss with someone so good-looking.

…Or maybe it was just the high of kissing them messing with his brain. He still stood by the attractiveness part, though. Not that he'd ever let them know, of course; it would fuel the human's ego too much.

While Berdly's wings remained solely around his fake partner's neck, Kris's hands had slowly begun wandering around the sides of his body, almost tauntingly so. He enacted a full body shiver and jumped in place when they poked his waist playfully with a thumb.

“Mmf- K-Kris!” Berdly broke the kiss and pushed them away lightly, feeling feverish with how warm his face was. “W-we don't need all this!”

His rival, the cretin, merely laughed at him, slumping their head on his shoulder. Every feather in Berdly's body stood on end with instinctive anticipation.

“Don't be such a killjoy, birdie.” they murmured quietly into his neck, tone dripping with affection. Berdly's breath caught in his throat, and they weren't even kissing this time. “But okay. I'll change my tune.”

Kris nuzzled into the feathers, and whatever anticipation Berdly had been feeling grew tenfold, breaths turning shaky. He had to make a physical effort to stay grounded when their mouth brushed his collar. Just as they were parting their lips ever so slightly to kiss his neck-

The closet lock clicked loudly. The sound snapped Berdly out of whatever trance he was in just long enough for his eyes to dart over to the small beam of light filtering through the door.

“Hey - snrk - lovebirds!” Snowy called out from outside the closet, pushing the door open and peeking in. “Time's up! Get your sorry butts ou-”

Their classmate's eyes widened to a comical degree and his beak practically dropped to the ground as he fully processed what exactly he'd just walked in on. Berdly supposed he understood his reaction - his two classmates tangled in each other, both looking woozy and out of breath, one just inches away from stealing the other's oxygen right from under them, was sure to be an interesting thing to witness firsthand.

“Uh-” the avian began, but he snapped his beak shut almost immediately after, eyes glued on Kris's disgruntled expression. Berdly could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

‘Do you mind?’ his fake partner signed in the sassiest way Berdly had ever seen them sign something, eyes narrowed.

Wow. They were really good at acting. The bluebird was almost jealous. For about two seconds, maybe, before he absorbed some of their acting prowess and followed suit.

“Yes, do you mind?” he snapped, mirroring his fake partner's expression.

“Oh, uh- sorry, dudes!” Snowy squeaked immediately. “I didn't think, uh- bye!”

The avian backed away quickly, struggling to close the door back up with his beak. Kris watched him fumble with the doorknob for a bit - likely for fun, knowing them - before slamming it in his face, still looking intensely annoyed.

Then, they sighed exasperatedly, turning back to Berdly. Almost immediately, the annoyance in their expression melted away into a playfully affectionate look and they leaned in, wrapping their arms around Berdly's waist again. He squawked in surprise. They needed to stop doing stuff like that without warning.

“Where were we?” they murmured in a husky, flirty tone.

Berdly forgot how to breathe. Which was not good in the slightest, because there was already a severe lack of oxygen being pumped into his brain.

“Ah- um- I-I thought…” he swallowed, suddenly feeling hot under his feathers. “I thought we were supposed to, um… respect the seven… m-minute… timeframe…?”

It was becoming increasingly hard to form coherent sentences, seeing as Kris had picked that exact moment to trail soft kisses across the bluebird's cheek, edging closer and closer to his neck each time. He shuddered in anticipation, breathing becoming labored.

“Who cares?” the human mumbled lazily between kisses. “If they want to play so bad, they'll find some other place to shove unwilling participants in.”

Berdly didn't have it in him to deny them, too lightheaded to think properly. What was so bad about spending a couple extra minutes in there, anyways?

[…]

Okay so maybe that was more than “a couple extra minutes”.

Berdly hadn't meant to be there so long. Really, he hadn't! But Kris was being so distracting, and their hold was so hard to get out of, how was he not supposed to stay there just cuddling them?

As a bit, of course. Commitment to the bit. That was what their fake relationship needed. Realistically, couples would want to have some time to themselves in frivolous party games like that. So really, what they were doing was keeping it realistic.

By this point, everyone seemed to have moved on to a different game, seeing as Berdly and Kris had been hogging the best spot for the previous one. Not much more happened since then - or at least Berdly didn't remember much more happening, too focused on vividly reliving the prior moments in his mind. Next thing he knew, the party had ended, and he and Kris were walking to their respective houses side by side, bathing in the orange glow of the setting sun.

“Y'know what?” Kris piped up as they reached their splitting point. “You don't need to worry about a brick through your window anymore. This was fun, bluebird. Seeya.”

They bumped their shoulder with his, smiling softly, and then the two went their separate ways. Berdly's trek back home was hurried, stilted, as he rethought the day's events.

(The way Kris's mumbly voice rumbled in their throat did not make his SOUL skip.)

(He didn't want to feel them saying that into his beak.)

(He didn't.)

Chapter Text

It had been well over five days since Kris had invited Berdly over to their house so they could practice PDA, two since the fateful house party where the two of them put their efforts into action, and the ghost of their touch still hadn't left the bluebird's thoughts.

He couldn't understand why this was happening. He was much too smart to be at the whim of such ridiculous feelings, to crave something so simple this much. He'd even dreamt about it, both at the Dreemurr residence when he'd fallen asleep to the sound of Kris's SOUL and back in his nest this very night. Dream-Berdly had been giggly and affectionate, saying and doing such frivolous, embarrassing things that it made Awake-Berdly's head spin, but no matter how hard he tried to shake them off, those thoughts remained in his brain.

He tried everything to replicate the feeling: smothering himself with an assortment of pillows, hugging his biggest plushie to his body, letting his own wing feathers linger on his cheek and pretending it was Kris doing it. He'd even curled up in his nest, bundled with his favorite weighted blanket, and swept his own wings down his arms and torso like an absolute lonely loser, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't even close to the real thing! It was so far removed from it, in fact, that it had just made him intensely frustrated in a wholly idiotic way.

And of course, stupid feelings led to stupid decisions.

Berdly was, to his chagrin, no stranger to stupid decisions, but this one still felt intensely stupid. Yes, he was simply evening the playing field by bringing his fake partner over to his house for once, but the thoughts and feelings that led up to that request were completely unreasonable.

He opened up his DMs with Kris on Bedlam and began typing. Whatever. Kris would (hopefully) just assume he wanted to keep up appearances. They wouldn't know his true intentions stemmed from crippling loneliness; he was too good at hiding his feelings to allow that to happen.

No one but the two halves of his brain would know how desperately he needed to feel their arms around him again.

Plus, he still needed to show them the new Critterkit game.

[…]

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎 

im here

open up

or im gonna start throwing rocks at ur bedroom window like a jilted lover

🐦smartgenius🐦

I'd like to see you try.

You don't even know which side my bedroom window is on.

🍎krizmoss🍎

trial n error bby

im bound 2 get the right one eventually

🐦smartgenius🐦

Not sure my neighbors would appreciate that.

🍎krizmoss🍎

bettr hurry up then bird boy

ive gathered a nice selection >:3

🐦smartgenius🐦

You wouldn't dare.

A clack noise against the glass of Berdly's bedroom window immediately proved him wrong. He sighed deeply, pushing his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his beak, and stepped around the organized chaos of his room to make his way to it. Sure enough, once he peeked out, Kris was standing two floors below, phone in one hand and several small rocks huddled to their chest with their free arm.

Berdly narrowed his eyes in annoyance and grabbed his phone to berate his rival.

—

Nuisance

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

Cheater!!

🍎krizmoss🍎

LETSGOOOOO FIRST TIMES THE CHARM BABEY

🐦smartgenius🐦

How did you even guess it?!

As soon as he sent his text, Berdly looked out the window again. Kris was grinning at him, tongue peeking out from between their teeth. The bluebird pointedly ignored how his chest swarmed with an unwanted emotion at the sight of it. The human went back to typing.

—

Nuisance

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

felt the nerd bird vibes frm that one

they were so intense

i just KNEW tht had 2 be it

🐦smartgenius🐦

I WILL uninvite you.

🍎krizmoss🍎

no u wont u love me 2 much :3

The bluebird rolled his eyes, disregarding the way his SOUL stuttered dumbly at the text. He made his way to his front door to allow the human in, only to find that they still had all the pebbles under their arm.

He stared at them, unimpressed. They stared right back innocently.

“What is the meaning of this.” he grumbled.

Kris moved their hands to sign a reply. It was an awkward fumble, the rocks clinking against each other as they tried to prevent them from toppling out of their hold.

‘Cool rocks.’

Berdly sighed deeply. Again. “You are not bringing them in.”

Kris stuck their tongue out at him. As if in a deliberate act of defiance, they dropped their entire stash on top of the nearest piece of furniture, smirking devilishly. The bluebird's plumage fluffed up.

“Hey!” he squawked. “Get them out!”

Berdly moved to give his insufferable rival a piece of his mind, but the human kept him back with little effort, shuffling through the rocks with one hand and pushing him away with the other. They picked out a couple of smoother, rounder pebbles with unique patterns and gathered them all in one hand. Berdly furrowed his brows. What were they playing at?

And then, as if it was nothing at all, they presented them to him with a small smile. And Berdly felt his brain physically shut off.

“H… Huh…?” he managed, completely and utterly stunned.

Kris quirked a brow, mildly confused. They pointed at the rocks, then at him, as if to say “for you”.

“You're… giving them to me…?!” he cheeped. The human nodded, more confused by the second. “Why…?”

‘Pretty.’ they signed with their free hand, like it was obvious. It took Berdly a considerable amount of time to realize that they were talking about the pebbles.

“A-are…” he stammered, begging the obvious blush on his cheeks to die down. “Are you not aware of what this entails?”

Kris pulled a face, tilting their head.

“W-well, you see…” he began, and of course his voice had to crack. “Gifting pretty stones is sort of… part of the courting process for most avian monsters…? I don't think you know about that, or else y-you wouldn't be…”

Kris instantly straightened up, lips pursed. Berdly got to watch in real time as they became more fidgety and their face turned a comical shade of red. They bowed their head down quickly, signing an awkward ‘Sorry. Not on purpose.’ without even daring to face the bluebird.

Berdly was suddenly filled with a burst of courage.

“Not on purpose, you say?” he drawled. “Why, my dear, I really thought you were attempting to fill in your role as my fake partner better! Such a shame that that was not the case.”

Kris's blush deepened, if that was possible, and they flipped him the bird, their free hand bunching up the fabric of their sweater. Berdly stifled a snicker. He had never seen them this flustered. He was horrified to realize he absolutely adored the sight.

Because it meant he had the upper hand in their interaction. Because, for once, he was calm and collected and his rival was a mess in front of him. Not for any other reason.

(Not because the color suited them and he was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of them.)

As if to hide their fumble, Kris began looking around innocently until something caught their eye and they squinted. Berdly followed their gaze to his handheld console and the game casing that rested right by it.

Ah, of course. With this whole situation, he had forgotten the reason he'd invited them over.

“Thunderstruck by my newest acquisition?” he drawled, grabbing the items from his bedside table and presenting them to his fake partner.

Kris honest-to-Angel gasped, staring at the items with wide eyes and an even wider grin. They tapped their feet on the ground, practically trembling with excitement.

‘You have the new Critterkit?!’ Berdly could hardly read their frantic signs with how quickly they were forming them. He was unable to prevent himself from thinking it was quite endearing.

“Managed to nab it on release night.” the bluebird puffed out his chest proudly. “The perks of being employed, I would say.”

‘Can I play??’ they signed, their breathing shallow with barely contained anticipation. ‘Please, please, please, please!!’

“Well, you're in luck, Kris!” Berdly snickered. Why was he so endeared by his rival's excitement over a mere Critterkit game? “I finished my own playthrough a few days ago, so I will not be spoiled - you may use the alternate account to make your own save file.”

Kris audibly squealed, a thin noise of bliss that did not suit them in the slightest. They grinned widely at him now as he handed them the console. Before he even realized it was happening, they'd pulled him into a brief, tight one-armed hug, eyes shining with enthusiasm, and thanked him profusely with their free hand after releasing him, the sign sloppy and rushed.

Berdly did not stay frozen in shock for ten entire seconds, his SOUL hammering in his chest as he was processing his rival's sudden affection. That was merely the imagination of whoever was watching.

Kris kicked off their shoes in a hurry, perfectly lining them down in a corner near the door - good manners, Berdly thought - and gesturing to Berdly's nest.

“Yes, now that your shoes are off, you may sit on the edge of my nest.” Berdly conceded. “Don't step over anything! Whatever's on the floor is right where I want it to be!”

The human did as he asked, hopping around the various things strewn across the floor and leaping into the nest, sitting criss-crossed. Berdly followed after them and sat right next to them. Their shoulders brushed. Berdly cursed his SOUL for skipping a beat.

Kris didn't waste time turning the handheld on and booting up the game, since the cartridge was already inserted into it. They hunched over, forearms leaning on their crossed legs, and became nearly immobile, resembling more a statue than a person, wide eyes fully focused on the game they were playing.

Berdly watched them for a while in slight amusement. It was rare the day he'd get to see them fully immersed in a game - even in their Smashing Fighters matches, they weren't nearly this focused. In only a few minutes, they'd already gotten through the beginning portion, befriended two Critters and beaten the first Critter Club, swiftly progressing through the story without much issue.

…He sort of almost wanted to disrupt their focus. They constantly did so to him during Smashing Fighters gameplay, with their wild taunts and trash talking. Who said he couldn't give them a taste of their own medicine?

It'd be child's play, really. He'd just inch a little closer to them. Just a tiny bit! Just enough to make light physical contact with them and feel the heat radiating from their body. Just enough to make his emotional brain shut up already about that.

He could very easily rationalize his actions as comeuppance for what Kris had put him through the days prior and not him battling his intense craving for physical touch by being as close to his rival as possible. He was simply trying to make them feel as flustered as he did! And getting something out of it himself.

Besides, whether they liked it or not, they were on his turf. And on his turf, he pulled the strings.

Ah, revenge had never sounded sweeter.

Berdly scooted closer to Kris, once, twice. They didn't seem to pay any mind, still engrossed in the game. At least until Berdly slowly put a wing around their shoulders and they visibly tensed up.

Still, that was all they did. Frustrated with the lack of a response, Berdly didn't hesitate before going a step further, leaning his head on their shoulder and even nuzzling into it for good measure.

Now that got the human to react properly. They sucked in a quick breath and their flick of the controls became a bit clumsier for a short while, but they remained rigid.

“So…” the bluebird asked, quite casually might he add. “What part are you at right now?”

It was a rhetorical question, of course. Not only could he answer it for himself by simply angling his head to look at the screen better (which he did, resulting in Kris tensing up even further), but he knew Kris likely wouldn't answer him. They weren't much for talking when they were playing singleplayer; all of their speedrunning streams, even the occasional facecam ones, were completely silent save for the sounds of the game they were playing, so he hadn't really expected a response.

“Ah, just about to battle against the flame Club Leader.” he mused as they entered a building. “How's your squad looking?”

Kris opened their Critter menu, allowing Berdly to see their current team: still the same two Critters they'd had prior, the plant raccoon that they'd been offered at the start of the game, now plant and gloom after its evolution, and a common and mental draconic creature that they'd grabbed and evolved on the way, but they'd also obtained a common wolf cub at some point. The bluebird shifted to get a proper look at their powers, making sure to remain as physically close to his fake partner as he could.

“Your Yipp may be your best bet.” he murmured, just next to the human's ear. Their breath hitched in their throat, and the bluebird's SOUL swelled with satisfaction. “Bushneak is weak to flame, and Draghetti has no good moves until level 26.”

Kris nodded tensely, even though Berdly was almost completely certain they already knew that. To his surprise, his rival shifted in place so that he was more comfortable practically nuzzling into them, relaxing their slouch into a position that was easier on their spine as well as sort of leaning their back on Berdly. He nearly gasped in surprise, but managed to hold it in. He couldn't lose his composure now.

By this point, he'd gotten so close to them he could almost hear the thrum of their SOUL. Sometimes, their face would scrunch up and their blush would deepen, but they didn't react much to the proximity beyond that, simply playing the game with dexterous fingers and full focus.

It made Berdly want to test his luck further. After all, Kris had teased him more than enough times already. It was about time he returned the favor.

Now that the human's slouch had relaxed, Berdly had ample space to slide his wing down their back and around their waist, letting it rest on their thigh. Kris seemed to have no issue with it, squirming a little, but nothing else. Berdly was almost a little disappointed that they weren't affected, but at least he hadn't made them uncomfortable. Angel knew he'd had a couple of issues with that in the past.

The telltale sign of a Critter being knocked out snapped him out of his thoughts. Maybe he had been too hasty on his prior assessment, because suddenly, Kris was… struggling with the fight. Which was odd, because they were typically really good at the game.

Berdly allowed a smirk to come over his features. There had never been a better opportunity in the history of opportunities.

“Are you having issues with the Club battle?” he asked smoothly. Kris clicked their tongue in reply, which just made the bluebird feel more smug. “Well then, allow me.”

Swiftly, he slid his other wing under Kris's arm and grabbed the console from under them, placing his wings over Kris's (very soft) hands and feeling them tense up in front of him, inhaling sharply.

“Sit back and relax, m'theydy.” he chirped. “Observe how a pro gamer does it.”

He took longer than intended to win, requiring a couple more tries due to his vehement refusal to grind for the fight. All the whole, Kris didn't attempt to take the console back a single time.

(They didn't shrug his wings away from their midriff after he had finally won the battle, either.)

(And Berdly didn't think about how it felt to hold them. He did not think about it at all.)

[…]

When Kris had decided to go along with the fake relationship thing for Berdly's sake, they'd never expected him to become so bold.

For the past… however long they'd been playing Critterkit (they really tuned out when they were doing something they enjoyed), the bluebird had been inching closer and closer to them, like he was trying to get as close as possible, with zero hesitation and always carefully considerate of their personal space, never overcrowding them or making them feel like it was too much.

And the scariest part? Kris liked it. They liked how bold he had become, that they were no longer the only one initiating displays of affection. They liked the way his chin rested on their shoulder and his wings were partially wrapped around their midriff.

…But why do it when no one was around, though? Wasn't he the one always going on about how there was no need to keep up the ruse in private? That part didn't make a lot of sense to them.

Oh well. Maybe he wanted full commitment to the bit, or maybe his touch-starved ass just wanted to cuddle and he was too uptight to just let them know like a normal person. They were definitely not complaining. Even if this proximity was still a little dizzying in a weird way. And they'd found themselves not focusing on the game at hand, having to unfortunately rely on Berdly's backseating.

“Go left. Left!” the bluebird hissed, wrapping his wings ever so slightly tighter around Kris's midriff. “There's a missable, competitively viable item in a kit there, and you can find Turela, one of the best answers for the next Club. The other way forces you into plot progression and afterwards you can't turn back.” 

Kris swallowed dryly, face burning. Was… was Berdly even aware of how close he was to them now? Of how it made them feel, how their SOUL was inexplicably melting at the contact?

Of how… n-nice it was, to feel his soft plumage enveloping them and his cheek nudging their neck-

(Ooooooooh!) YOU cooed playfully, nearly startling Kris enough to flinch if they weren't already used to the entity's everyday presence. (Bird boy's making some moves!)

‘Fuck off.’ the human's SOUL quickened as they internally snapped at YOU. ‘I'm in the middle of something. Close your eyes and go see what Susie and Noelle are doing, or whatever you do in your free time.’

(Ordinarily I would, but this is way more interesting right now.) YOU teased. (Where do you think he got the guts? Because I can assure you, this is super intentional, but he has no idea how long he's been like that.)

The human's grip on the console loosened slightly. Why did YOU keep doing that?? They hated how it could read minds besides Kris's own, even if it only ever let them know what other people were thinking if they thought it was funny.

(And he's so calm right now.) the entity continued, very much aware of the effect that knowing Berdly's inner musings was having on Kris. (There has never been a less chill guy than Berdly, and yet he's chill. He's gotten used to this. Complacent.)

Kris made an honest attempt to listen to Berdly's instructions of the puzzle, but the entity's words were rattling in their brain like loose pebbles and it was becoming harder and harder to think about anything besides how close Berdly was. In a tone so cheeky that Kris could very easily envision a shit-eating grin, YOU delivered the killing blow.

(Kinda seems like he wants it, even.)

Almost as if by some sort of self-preservation instinct, something clicked within Kris's brain and they shrugged Berdly off of them. The bluebird blinked, visibly confused, before he noticed the distance between the two of them, remarkably small even after he'd gotten off of Kris, and his face burst into flames as he put two and two together.

“Wh- M-my apologies, Kris.” he stammered, flapping his wings and putting more distance between the two of them. “I-I didn't… r-realize-”

‘It's fine.’ Kris signed quickly, setting the console down on their lap to do it. ‘I was about to stop.’

Berdly visibly frowned, looking almost panicked. “D-did I ruin your focus?”

Kris shook their head. ‘Don't want to just play Critterkit.’

“You're welcome to do so, though.” the bluebird insisted. “We could parallel play if you don't feel up for anything else.”

Kris swallowed, averting their eyes.

“It's okay.” they spoke quietly, the typical mumble of their voice somehow more pronounced. “I wanna do stuff with… you. Not by myself.”

Berdly's feathers fluffed up slightly, cheeks darkening.

“Oh.” he cheeped. “W-well! You're welcome to do that too!”

Kris snickered under their breath. The birdbrain could be pretty endearing when he wanted to.

…Hey, when did the room get so dark?

“What time is it?” they asked Berdly absently, before turning on their phone and answering their own question. “8PM??”

Their stomach growled. No wonder they felt so inexplicably empty. When was the last time they'd eaten something?

Berdly cocked his head. “Are you hungry?”

“…Well. Um.” Kris rubbed the fabric of their sweater between their fingers. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Not to worry, my dear rival!” the bluebird chirped, beaming. “I am more than capable of whipping us up a delightful dinner!”

Kris's eyes widened. “You can cook actual meals?”

Berdly deflated a little. The human winced internally at how suddenly the mood had shifted.

“…I sort of don't have a choice.” he replied, a little somberly. “My parents are always away.”

Kris pursed their lips. They were always fucking awful at having these sorts of conversations.

“Sucks, dude.” was all they could muster in reply, their voice deciding to go all out on the deadpan aspect with the express purpose of making their life harder.

“Yeah.” Berdly huffed out a small laugh. “Sucks.”

Almost as soon as they made it into the kitchen, Berdly began rifling through cupboards and refrigerators, looking more and more frantic each time. He did it so quickly, Kris could barely see what was inside the cupboards in the first place.

“What, realized you forgot to buy groceries or something?” they joked.

“I'm just…” Berdly paused awkwardly. “Not really sure what you like? I tend to have a very specific selection of ingredients, seeing as I'm partial to seeds and the like.”

“Well, what do you have, then?”

“Millet, trail mix, white bread, grapes, an assortment of wild berries, lettuce, spinach, mushrooms…” Berdly began reciting ingredients from memory, counting on his feathers. “And I suppose dried mealworms as well, but I doubt that's your style.”

Kris hummed thoughtfully. “I mean… I'd be down.”

Berdly cocked his head, utterly confused. “For… the mealworms?”

“Yeah, sure. If you're the chef you claim to be, I'm sure you could make them edible.” they elbowed him playfully with a smirk. “I'm rearranging your entire nest if it sucks, though.”

The bluebird scoffed, looking genuinely distraught at the threat for a moment, but Kris noted that there was a vague look of endearment in his eyes.

“A true charmer you are.” he snarked, though the roll of his eyes was playful. He pulled open a cupboard with practiced swiftness and snatched out a bag of mealworms. “How do you feel about sautéing? Any restrictions?”

“Surprise me.” the human replied, doing jazz hands.

Berdly clearly took it as a challenge, with the way he smirked and narrowed his eyes.

“That I will.” he promised.

Kris decided to allow him to do his thing, standing back and simply watching him as he cooked. He was shockingly efficient at it, able to keep an eye on multiple things at the same time. Before long, the kitchen began to smell heavenly.

…He also whistled while he cooked, it seemed. And he was good at it, annoyingly enough. He was warbling a tune Kris didn't recognize under his breath as he walked around preparing everything, clearly completely immersed. It didn't look like he was aware he was doing it.

Instinctively, Kris began mimicking the birdsong to the best of their ability (which was pretty good if they said so themselves). It was pleasant to hear, and really mimic-able. They could see it becoming a vocal stim of theirs.

They must have sung a note higher than they'd intended to, though, because suddenly, Berdly's head swiveled around and he chirped in surprise, cutting the tune short. Kris mimicked that chirp as well without even thinking about it.

“Y-you were here the whole time?!” he squawked, looking extremely embarrassed.

Kris snorted. He always looked so goofy when he did the head spinny thing.

“You're good at whistling too.” they admitted. “It's annoying as hell.”

Berdly flushed. He moved his entire body around to face Kris properly, head staying rooted in place.

“Uh.” he tried. “Um. Thank you?”

“So is everything ready?” Kris quickly changed the subject, feeling strangely flustered all of a sudden. “Smells nice.”

“Indeed it is!” Berdly recovered quite quickly. “Sautéd mealworms with roasted peanuts and spinach! I hope it's to your liking!”

Berdly brought the wok to the table as Kris set it quickly. Before long, they were both sitting down with a bowl of food in front of them (his house didn't have plates and had little silverware; Kris supposed it made sense).

They didn't wait any longer to have a bite. It tasted nothing like they expected, and yet it was absolutely amazing. Berdly really did have a knack for cooking, as astounding as that was.

“It's good.” they shoveled another forkful into their mouth, tone nonchalant as if they weren't wolfing it down like it was their last meal on death row.

“I'm glad.” Berdly smiled, averting his eyes. Kris noticed he hadn't touched his food until they had their first bite.

Berdly ate like a bird, holding the bowl in his wings as he pecked into it and grabbed the food with his beak. Kris tried not to find that endearing. It was harder than it seemed.

They didn't say much during their dinner, opting to just eat. Kris ended up getting a second serving and fighting valiantly to ignore Berdly's look of smug satisfaction, to no avail. After putting everything aside and washing their dishes, they walked back to Berdly's room, both settling in his nest. By that point, there was virtually no light outside.

…Except the human kinda didn't want to stop hanging out with Berdly just yet.

“Getting late.” they mused.

Berdly hummed in agreement, shuffling in the nest.

“Hey, um…” the human fiddled with their sweater. “Mind if I stay over?”

The bluebird's eyes widened a little, feathers puffing out ever so slightly.

“Oh! Er- Not at all!” he stammered, looking away. “Where would you sleep, though? I don't exactly have many options, I fear.”

Kris glanced around at Berdly's nest. The bundle of blankets, pillows and plushies strewn around in an oval shape took up quite a bit of the room. Both of them could easily sleep in it at the same time; they wouldn't even have to huddle up much. The bluebird sure seemed to like his personal space.

“I mean, your nest is pretty spacious.” they mused.

Berdly blushed at the insinuation, feathers fluffing up slightly. Kris raised a brow in mild amusement. Was Berdly that flustered about essentially sharing a bed with them? They'd already done it before at the sleepover. They didn't see what the big deal was.

…Then again, maybe he was just reacting like that because it wasn't really a sleepover, and also the two of them were alone in his room. Kris supposed that made more sense to them.

“Hey, don't get so fidgety over it.” the human chirped lightly. “It's not gay if we end up spooning; I have socks on.”

They stretched out one leg and waved their foot around, gesturing to their sock helpfully.

“Well, I don't wear socks. Or footwear, for that matter.” Berdly deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. “Would that mean that it's always gay on my part?”

Kris shrugged, grinning playfully. “Guess so! Tough luck!”

The bluebird scoffed, but he was smiling a little. His smile slowly morphed into something resembling chagrin, and he looked away.

“It's… not really about that, though.” he admitted bashfully.

Kris recrossed their legs, leaning on their thighs. “Enlighten me.”

“Well…” Berdly's cheeks brightened. His voice was uncharacteristically meek. “It's… I-it's my nest. That is, my actual nest.”

“Yeah. I'm aware.” Kris said slowly. “What, are you feeling territorial again?”

The blue of Berdly's face increased even more, as if it was possible. He didn't reply, pushing up his glasses and looking away, tail flicking behind him.

“Wait, really??” the human cackled, grinning widely. “Oh, man, that's almost as funny as the chirping thing!”

“S-stop bringing that up!!” Berdly cheeped. “Besides, it's not exactly… that, either.”

“Then what, dude?” Kris sighed exasperatedly. “It can't be that bad.”

Berdly began preening, passing each feather through his beak three times before moving on to the next. The human had already known him long enough to be able to tell that that was a nervous tic of his. They felt a little bad for inadvertently making him nervous.

“No one else has ever slept in here but me and my parents.” he explained awkwardly, voice muffled by his wing feathers. “Even on the odd days where Noelle came over and we studied away into the night, either she slept in a sleeping bag or both of us did. Because…”

Berdly trailed off, fluffing up further in a way that made him look like a duster. Kris leaned closer to him.

“Because…?”

The bluebird's preening quickened. Kris found that they thought it was oddly endearing.

“B-because…” he bowed his head in embarrassment, hiding the lower half of his face with one wing. “Inmostcasesnestsharingonlyhappensbetweenmates.”

He spoke so quickly into his wing that Kris could barely make out the words. When their brain finally decided to fully process what he said, they unwillingly let out a snort of amusement, then started giggling almost hysterically.

“Don't laugh, you dimwit!!” Berdly screeched, flapping his wings. “I-it's- it's an avian thing!”

“I'm not-” the human hiccuped in between giggles. “I'm not laughing at that! Honest!”

“What's so funny, then?!” the color of Berdly's face had darkened so noticeably he'd practically turned a darker shade of blue entirely.

“It's just…” Kris put a hand over their mouth, giggling into it. “You're kinda cute when you're embarrassed.”

Instantly, the human snapped their mouth shut and pursed their lips, feeling their face heat up beyond reason. Berdly squawked in surprise as well, feathers more fluffed up than ever.

Had they really just said that?? Under absolutely zero pressure, no less?? Huh. That… was something! Sure, their comment wasn't exactly untruthful, Berdly did look “kinda cute” when his feathers were all fluffed up and his face was flushed, either from anger after a Smashing Fighters match or out of embarrassment, but they didn't mean to sound so affectionate saying it!

And they couldn't even internally blame YOU for it! The entity was dormant deep in their subconscious at the moment! They said that, not the thing that occasionally controlled their SOUL! Now that was just ridiculous.

Wow. They'd gotten less sleep than they thought the prior night. Berdly's nest better be comfortable for the absurd thoughts it made them have.

“Wh-”

“And in any case, I still don't see how that's a problem, really.” Kris continued with a breezy, awkward laugh, ignoring the way their SOUL seemed to want to escape their ribcage. “We're fake-dating, right? Then we can fake-share your nest! As a bit!”

Berdly seemed to have recovered as well, perhaps due to the absurdity of Kris's suggestion. He bent his head down to look at them through unimpressed, half-lidded eyes over his glasses.

“Flawlessly logical. I admire your mind.” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. He was clearly quoting something, but Kris couldn't tell what it was.

“Come ooooon.” they scooted to the bluebird's side, elbowing him playfully. “Are you really gonna make your fake gamer partner sleep on the couch? For shame.”

Berdly heaved a long, drawn-out sigh, burying his scorching face in his wings. His tail swished wildly from side to side behind him, and Kris couldn't help but find that at least a little cute too.

“Alright.” he conceded, though still clearly a little flustered about it. “Let us share… m-my nest. As a bit.”

“Yeah, see?” Kris chuckled. “ Now you're getting it.”

They coughed out a muffled “Drama queen.” at the end of their sentence, smirking. Berdly swiped at them with a wing, which they easily dodged.

“Also, I'm expecting some cuddles as a bit too.” they added casually. “No homo.”

Berdly squawked, his poofy feathers making him double in size. The human stifled a chuckle.

“Don't just say that!” he screeched, flushing.

“Whaaaaaaat? It helps me sleep!” Kris teased. “You were being so very bold this afternoon! What happened to all that bravery?”

Berdly's beak tensed, his brow furrowing lightly. He averted his eyes, tch-ing, and it was almost like Kris could see anime blushing lines on his feathered cheeks.

“Sigh.” he said, out loud, verbally. He extended his wings out towards Kris, spreading them wide as if beckoning them. “I suppose… you are my little pogchamp. Come here.”

(If he says that again, you're strangling him.) YOU deadpanned.

“If you say that again, I'm strangling you.” Kris deadpanned at the exact same time, mildly surprised that they and the entity were in agreement for once. And also surprised that it had come out to berate Berdly for saying that but not to make fun of them for their previous blunder.

Berdly's beak curled into an oddly endearing smirk. “My ragebaiting was successful, I see.”

The human groaned, scooting over on the nest bed and dropping their entire weight on top of Berdly. They fought back a snicker at how he exhaled all the air out of his lungs like he was deflating. He was amusingly frail at times.

“You are so lucky you're fluffy.” Kris grumbled under their breath, directing their head to lay on the fluff peeking out of his chest through his pajamas.

“What?” Berdly looked down at them, cheeks flushed. Kris could hear his SOUL skipping a beat.

“What?” they replied, ignoring the warmth of their own cheeks. They thought that had been an inside thought.

“Wh-what did you-”

Kris cut the bluebird's question off with a playful scritch to the underside of his beak, the quickest distraction tactic they could think of. Berdly made a small warbling noise and immediately quieted down, grumbling under his breath, likely at how easily he'd been subdued.

(Oh, you silly kids!) YOU giggled like a particularly annoying parental figure, the entity's voice sounding far away.

The human attempted to internally project as many feelings of distaste for the entity's presence as they possibly could, hoping it would get the hint and close its eyes.

(No, yeah, keep going.) YOU urged quickly instead. Kris envisioned a flourish of a hand accompanying it. (I'll just be over here. Out of the way.)

‘Get out.’ Kris snapped, eyes stubbornly shut.

(Ugh, fine.) the entity groaned. Kris could imagine it rolling its eyes. (God forbid a girl wants to catch a vibe. I'll leave you to it.)

Soon enough, the background noise that accompanied the presence of the entity - akin to the sound of thousands of impossible to understand whispers - faded into nothing. Thank the Angel. Kris sagged with relief at the feeling of having their mind to themselves again, redirecting their attention to the bluebird in front of them.

The hand the human had under Berdly's chin slid down to his wing as they repositioned themselves on his chest, nudging closer to his head. They'd been close to Berdly before, especially since the fake dating shenanigans started, but never this close, at least until now. Never close enough to be able to know exactly what he smelled like after his nightly preen.

Berdly didn't smell like anything in particular, they concluded. He didn't smell bad, of course, they kind of assumed that was impossible when one preened as often as he did, but he didn't smell like one specific thing. They supposed the best way they could describe it was just “forest” - kind of leafy, kind of dewy, kind of like a rainy day; impossible to specify. All they knew for certain is that his feathers were soft. Really soft.

Without even realizing it, Kris began nosing between them, breathing them in. They were too distracted to fully pay attention to the way Berdly tensed up, nearly unmoving as the human curled around him and nuzzled the back of his neck.

They didn't know what was wrong with them, why they were so out of it while they were practically burying their face in the bluebird's plumage. They were trying to shift their focus to something else, they really were, but Angel, he was just so soft, and warm, and his SOUL's thrumming was like music to their ears, and every time their lips accidentally brushed his feathers the impulsive thought of sinking their teeth into him became more and more enticing-

“Kris.” Berdly hissed out shakily. “Wh-what are you-”

The human practically jumped away from their fake boyfriend, SOUL beating a mile a minute. Dammit. They'd actually done it, hadn't they? That was embarrassing.

“S-sorry.” they muttered hurriedly, cursing the stutter in their voice. “Didn't mean to do that. Impulse.”

“I-it's quite alright, really.” the bluebird breathed, fanning his flushed face a little with his wing, eyes wide and pupils contracted. “It just… caught me off guard, is all.”

Kris hummed in acknowledgement, lips pursed. They laid next to the bluebird rather than on top of him, irrationally scared of doing… that again.

“Can you do that again?” Berdly blurted out suddenly, approximately three seconds later.

Kris whipped their head towards him in surprise. “Huh?”

“I mean-” the bluebird shook his head quickly. “It's not exactly unthinkable that we, as people who are - allegedly - dating, partake in, er… private PDA, is it?”

“PDA already means “public displays of affection”, birdbrain.” Kris flicked his forehead, snickering at the way he squawked quietly in outrage. “Us normal folk call private PDA “displays of affection”.”

“You and “normal” in the same sentence?” Berdly snarked. “What parallel timeline are you living in?”

Kris snorted, elbowing him. “Something, something, pots and kettles.”

“Ahem.” Berdly audibly cleared his throat, a little flustered, his tail swishing behind him. “In any case, I believe a thing such as private displays of affection, on top of being further commitment to tricking everyone, could be an opportunity to… expand my - already vast - knowledge about these topics without the involvement of public humiliation, and, uh… experience new things. Such as.” he shrunk into himself a little, flexing his talons. “Marks. In one's. Body.”

The “heh, you sound like you're trying to justify a shitty school presentation” on the tip of Kris's tongue died immediately as they fully processed what exactly the bluebird had mumbled out. To their chagrin, their whole body warmed to about the temperature of a furnace at the realization, SOUL skipping a beat.

“You…” they blinked, incredulous. “You want me to mark you?”

“I mean.” Berdly pointedly looked away, feathers fluffed up and voice abnormally high-pitched. “In a way. I suppose. I did. Say that. But. Only if you… don't mind?”

…What the hell, sure.

“Well, I like doing that sort of stuff for fun, so I'm not opposed.” the human shrugged, tugging at the hem of their sweater. Why was their SOUL beating so quickly? “As long as you're not feeling, like, pressured to match my freak, I guess.”

“Of course not.” Berdly huffed quickly. “It's just, uh. I'm intrigued by it.”

“…By my freak?”

“…How strange is it if I say the answer to that question is yes.”

“In your case?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “Extremely.”

“Listen. I'm merely curious as to how this whole thing…” Berdly gestured to the two of them, then widened his wings to include his room. “comes so easily to you.”

Kris wrapped their arms around Berdly, climbing onto his lap. “It's just super fun to bite stuff. It's an autism thing, I think. You'd get it if you had teeth.”

Berdly looked away, trying to pretend like his cheeks weren't so bright that it looked like steam was about to start coming out of them. “I fail to understand how enjoying the stimulation of biting correlates to casually marking someone's neck for research purposes.”

“It does, if you're not a coward.” Kris murmured as they nuzzled into Berdly's neck plumage again. “You won't be able to tell through the feathers, though.”

“I'll still be able to feel it.” Berdly shot back, breath hitching when Kris planted a kiss smack dab in the middle of his neck.

“That's true.” they grabbed a tighter hold of his waist, moving closer to whisper in his ear mischievously. “And I'll still be able to hear it.”

The human moved back down to his neck and languidly left their first mark, around the same place where they'd kissed him. They tried not to feel too giddy at the way Berdly clearly struggled to hold back how much he was enjoying the current arrangement.

“…Maybe this was a mistake.” the bluebird croaked out dismally, but he sounded out of breath and he almost looked like he was shaking with anticipation.

“We can stop whenever you want to.” Kris reminded him, kissing over the mark gently as if to soothe it. “Just let me know. Push me off, hit me, peck me in the bird way - whatever you prefer. I'll stop. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

Berdly scoffed, but the sound devolved into a shaky exhale when Kris nipped him again.

“I don't need y-your… handouts.” he snapped, voice wavering. “I can… h-handle it just fine.”

“Mhm. And it's totally not because you're enjoying this, right?” the human teased.

The bluebird took in a breath like he was about to reply, but whatever he was going to say turned into a gasp when Kris bit his neck again, quietly relishing in how soft it was to themselves. Instead, he hummed quietly. Kris could feel his SOUL racing.

“Sh-shut up.”

He snapped his beak shut for a while after that, so clearly into what was happening that it made Kris want to laugh. Meanwhile, the human just moved right along, marking one side of Berdly's neck until they were satisfied and then switching to the other. All the while, the only sounds they could hear were their own breathing, Berdly inhaling sharply after every other bite, and the bluebird's tail swishing behind him.

That was, until Berdly finally opened his beak to speak again, right after Kris marked him particularly harshly.

“I m-must say, Kris…” he began, breathing unevenly. The human trailed their kisses slightly higher up, amused at how flustered they were making him. “Your obsession with my n-neck is, ah… quite f-flattering. Is there something you're not telling your fake gamer boyfriend?”

Kris huffed out a laugh. It was just like Berdly to twist this around, as if he hadn't been the one to suggest it in the first place.

“Not much to it. It's soft. Malleable. Easy to mark.” they murmured in response, enjoying the way Berdly shivered at the vibrations of their voice on his skin. Their lips quirked up as they added “Not at all like Susie's.”

Just like Kris had predicted, the bluebird immediately bristled, feathers fluffing up until they rounded out his features. Hah. They knew he had some sort of subconscious jealousy of Susie. They wondered why, though. Probably because she was Kris's best friend. Or he was just jealous that the human wasn't kissing someone for the first time like he was.

“Her skin's really tough, you see. Since she's got scales.” they drawled, donning a vicious grin as they nipped just hard enough to break the skin. “It was fun, trying to leave marks on it, but I prefer my meat tender.”

Berdly warbled very quietly under his breath, intermittent with his shaky breathing. He probably wasn't even aware he'd done it.

“D-don't say it like that.” he snapped, but his SOUL wasn't into it, clearly too preoccupied with the way Kris was dragging their teeth down his neck. “Weirdo.”

Kris made an “aww” sound, placing a kiss on Berdly's collarbone, just above the collar of his pajama shirt. The bluebird shuddered at the sensation. They should have probably worried a little about how fixated they were in peppering his neck with as many tiny hickeys as possible, but they disregarded it as the same fixation that led them to attempt the same on Susie before.

“That's the nicest thing you've ever called me!” they crooned.

Berdly hmph-ed, trying to emanate his typical smug superiority despite the fact that his breaths were so shallow he had to take multiple of them to take in what was considered a normal amount of air.

“I have many not-nice things to call you, if that's what you wish.” he damn-near growled.

“Maybe save those for when we fake-break up.” Kris snickered. “The drama will be legendary.”

Berdly quieted at that ever so slightly. Kris couldn't understand why, but they supposed it didn't matter. They pulled away from his neck at long last, maybe a little disappointed that they couldn't admire their hard work.

“My job here is done. No more space on the canvas, so to say.” they announced teasingly. “You're covered in 'em now, heh. Shame I can't see 'em.”

They put their head back on his chest and listened to the beat of his SOUL, which had settled into a calmer lull. A couple of beats passed before Berdly shifted. Kris glanced up to see him looking down at them pensively. Almost like… he was disappointed they stopped?

“What?” they quirked a brow.

Berdly snapped his gaze away quickly, blushing. He'd been blushing a lot lately. How odd.

Kris disregarded him with a nonchalant hum, lowering their head back down and pressing their cheek flush against the bluebird's fluffy chest. Suddenly, they felt something soft being placed on the back of their head, slowly stroking their hair.

The human's SOUL inexplicably skipped a beat, their body warm. Was that… Berdly? Petting their hair? So gently like that? Why?

(And why did they… kind of never wanted him to stop?)

Without meaning to, Kris sighed quietly at the sensation, relaxing into the touch. They'd never considered the possibility of Berdly returning their advances. Or how enticing it would be.

…They didn't know how to feel about that.

Before they could get used to the touch, Berdly slipped his wing out of their hair. They were about to grumble in protest - a realization that horrified them - when they felt something sharper parsing through their hair, grabbing a couple of strands, and… smoothing them out. As if…

Kris's mind blanked. They were suddenly standing so still they could be confused for a decorative lamp, their body feeling like molten lava.

“Are you…?”

“Preening you, yes.” Berdly replied snippily around a beakful of hair, so quickly that the human could barely get their own words out. “Think of it as an… exchange. For your, uh. Prior aid in the understanding of relationships.”

Kris stifled a laugh, focusing on the feeling of their hair being lightly tugged like it was being ironed out. That was… kinda really cute. That was the third time they'd called Berdly cute in the span of twenty-four hours. What did that say about them?

And sure, maybe it kind of hurt a little bit, because he was nervous and unintentionally pulling their hair, but it was still… nice. Really nice.

Yeah. They could stay like this. They could definitely stay like this.

[…]

The next morning, Berdly awoke with a sore neck, tussled feathers, and a lack of feeling on his left wing, engulfed in a warmth so pleasant it made him want to close his eyes and never open them again.

…Until he remembered how he'd gotten into that situation. Then he opened his eyes as wide as they could go.

He fought back the sudden wave of panic at the realization that he was once again glued to Kris, curled in a tight mess of limbs and body heat, reminding himself he had gotten into this predicament by choice.

That reminder… actually did not help at all.

Slowly, he removed himself from the Sphere of Slumber, felt for his glasses near his bedside table, then stretched out a leg and gripped his talons around a rogue blanket, pulling it over the human so as to not disturb their sleep.

Now equipped with his spectacles, the bluebird could successfully evade every object scattered on the ground on his way to the bathroom. His day hadn't truly begun until he had his morning preen, after all.

Standing in front of the mirror, he spritzed his feathers with scented water, enjoying the gentle chill it offered him, then passed them through his beak at a leisurely pace. Smoothing them down until they softened. Spraying more water on the ones that hadn't been moistened enough. Desperately trying to distract himself and fighting against the urge to check a certain area of his plumage in the mirror.

(He lost that inner battle as soon as his general preen was concluded.)

Berdly tilted his head up and craned his neck, eyes fixed on his reflection. As expected, there were no visible marks, all of them hidden underneath the feathers. He knew they were still there, though; he could almost still feel Kris's lips on him, their oddly sharp teeth pulling at his skin in a way that left him dizzy and utterly breathless.

Mindlessly, the bluebird lifted a wing to parse through the plumage around his neck. If he parted the feathers just right, he could see cobalt blue marks spreading beneath them, similar to a darker shade of his magic, but only just barely.

He applied pressure on one with a feather, wincing at the dull throb of pain he felt at the action. Inexplicably, his breathing quickened, SOUL beating harder in his chest. He let his gaze linger on the hickey and ran his wing feathers over it, staring at it through his reflection in the mirror.

A sudden moment of clarity hit Berdly like a family van as he also took in his own hazy, almost delirious expression and the furious flush of his cheeks. Heavens above, what was he doing?!

He snatched his wing away, balling the feathers into a fist, and speedwalked out of the bathroom to avoid thinking about it further.

When he arrived back at his room, he was surprised to find his fake partner already awake, draped over the nest like they were bored out of their mind. They perked up when they spotted him, smiling happily.

“There you are!” they hummed, flipping around and laying on their back as they kept their eyes on him. “I thought you ditched me like an emotionally unavailable one-night stand!”

Berdly blinked in surprise. Kris typically wasn't in a talking mood so early in the morning. Perhaps this was a good day in terms of how verbal they were.

“Why would I ditch you when you're in my house? And in my nest, no less.” he snarked. “I was merely conducting my morning preen.”

“Ah, so that's how you get them to be so soft.” Kris mused to themselves, but there was an edge of flirtatiousness to their tone and a rambunctious smile on their face.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Third Place.” Berdly huffed, pretending like that was true and their words hadn't affected him.

“I didn't take you for an early bird during the holidays.” the human snickered. They outstretched their arms, making grabby hands. “C'mon, it's not even 9AM yet. Get back here and cuddle - no homo, of course.”

“Being raised by Ms. Toriel has left you considerably worse off.” Berdly grumbled, heeding their call and slumping over on their chest regardless. For no emotional reasons whatsoever.

It meant nothing. All of this meant nothing.

Chapter Text

Kris and Berdly were acting weird.

Susie wasn't stupid. She knew something was up the moment her best friend offhandedly mentioned spending the night at Berdly's the previous day. Because sure, okay, they're dating or whatever, but since when was Kris willing to spend the night at a house that wasn't theirs or Noelle's? And alone? Just them and Berdly? Something was going on, and it seemed like Noelle thought so, too.

Her girlfriend had always been one for solving mysteries, deep down. Susie had already noticed that the reindeer was beginning to stare at the oddity that was Kris and Berdly as a couple for prolonged amounts of time whenever the four of them were together, looking on with a mixture of fascination and utter bafflement. She'd bring them up in casual conversation too, sounding far away, like she was lost in thought. And crazier than either of those, she'd just dragged Susie over to the birdbrain's apartment building so they could pick him up for the planned Light Nerds Hangout™ at the Dreemurr residence.

Frankly, Susie hadn't fully gotten what that was about yet (something about an “intervention”, she thought? She remembered she had to hype Noelle up so she could be a bit more assertive for it), but Noelle looked extremely determined, so she didn't want to kill her vibe by reminding her that Berdly was more than capable of getting to Kris's house by himself.

…Especially considering that was exactly the first thing the nerd bird did, shortly after he opened the door and yelped in surprise at the two's presence, feathers fluffing up.

“My dear Noelle, I don't mean to be brash, but what are you and Susie doing here?” he asked, looking between the saurian and the cervine. “I am more than capable of getting to Kris's house by myself.”

“Don't look at me.” Susie shrugged. “Hell if I know.”

“Right, yes, I know, it's just…” Noelle trailed off. “How do I put this… I might actually be going insane so I think I need to stage an intervention?”

Berdly tilted his head. “An… intervention? What for?” his brows knitted with concern. “Have I made you uncomfortable lately? Because if so, please tell me what it was so I can-”

“No, no, not one of those, don't worry!” Noelle waved her hooves around, a wobbly smile on her face. “It's more like… a Kerdly intervention.”

Both Susie and the nerd bird furrowed their brows.

“A what?” Berdly questioned, visibly lost.

“Curdling?” the saurian offered, scrunching her face in confusion. “Like, that thing you do to milk so it becomes cheese?”

“No, silly!” Noelle giggled. “Kerdly. Kris and Berdly. Their ship name!”

“Why does Berdly get most of the letters?” Susie huffed. “We all know Kris wears the pants in that relationship.”

“I think the letter ratio is perfect, personally.” Berdly puffed out his chest a little, smirking in that really obnoxious way Susie hated. She tried not to trip him as they walked. She succeeded, barely.

The saurian turned to her girlfriend. “Hey, Noelle, that name sucks.” she announced. “How about you change it to, like… Berdkris, or Krispy Chicken or something? Like, “crispy” with a K instead of a C? Kris would like that more for sure.”

Noelle seemed to ponder the change for a short while, before screwing her eyes shut and shaking her head, speeding up her steps. “H-hey, no, we're getting outta topic-”

“How would you know which ship name Kris would prefer?” Berdly snapped, eyes narrowed. If Susie didn't know any better, she'd say he looked jealous.

“Maybe 'cuz I'm their fucking best friend?” Susie bared her teeth, leaning closer to the nerd bird. Berdly lost a little bit of his gusto all of a sudden.

“Oh, yeah?” he fluffed up his crest feathers. The saurian couldn't tell if it was a badly executed intimidation tactic - he still only reached up to her snout, after all - or just him getting pissed off at her again. “What's their favorite kind of moss to eat, then?”

“Can't tell ya any o' that.” Susie huffed. “Kris and I have a very strict bro code, and moss preferences are a huge part of it.”

Berdly furrowed his brows in confusion, his dumbass nerd glasses glistening in the sun. “…Neither of you are men.”

“Broship is a state of mind not bound by gender.” Susie explained dutifully, shaking her head in disapproval at the audacity. “How about you read a fucking book?”

Berdly made a weird noise that sounded an amusing amount like a growl, but before Susie could piss him off enough to have a reason to kick his feathery ass into the dirt, Noelle moved to walk between the two of them, exasperated.

“Girls, girls, you're both pretty.” the reindeer recited in a snippy, yet somehow deadpan tone. “Let's get back to what matters.”

Susie blinked. Noelle usually just let her and Berdly rile each other up until Susie ended up noogie-ing him into surrender. She must have something really important to discuss with the birdbrain if she was getting between them like that.

“Fine.” Berdly conceded. “What is the “Kerdly Intervention™” for?”

“Did you say “trademark” out loud-” Susie began under her breath, but she was cut off by Noelle's much firmer voice.

“You're being really odd about your relationship and I'm gonna need you to spill.” she stated.

Susie found herself smiling. Noelle really had grown far from the little people-pleaser reindeer who let everyone walk all over her. She was so much better at standing up to others now. The saurian couldn't be prouder of her.

Berdly furrowed his brows, looking away suspiciously. Susie could practically see the sweat beading up under his feathers.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” he asked, in a very not-slick way.

“The way you said that tells me you know exactly what I mean.” Noelle replied, unimpressed.

“Well, I don't see what is so odd about our relationship, really.” Berdly huffed, bringing a wing to his neck absently again. He'd been doing that a bunch, Susie noticed. “Doesn't seem unconventional in the slightest to me.”

Susie… sort of had to agree. Sure, those two were weirdos separately and became even weirder when put together, but their relationship was… fairly normal? As normal as a relationship between Kris and Berdly could realistically be, that is.

“It's not the relationship that's odd.” Noelle clarified, almost stonefaced by now. “What's really odd is the way you act when anyone brings it up.”

The nerd bird physically flinched, eyes widening ever so slightly.

“Oh?” he tried to play it off with casual smugness. “And what would that be?”

“You flinch every time. You stand up straighter. You get flustered. You just generally look like you've been caught red handed, like we weren't supposed to know you two were in a relationship even though you literally told us.” the reindeer calmly listed off every trait she'd noticed, eyes fixed on Berdly. “And yet when you're around Kris, you're… relaxed? Still kinda flustered, but casually doing PDA? As if that makes sense?” she continued, now sounding more confused. “You're hiding something. I have a hunch, but I'm gonna give you the opportunity to tell me yourself.”

Berdly tensed up, clearly taken aback at how in-depth Noelle had gone in her assessment. Susie wasn't about to pretend like she didn't feel the same way. Noelle was way more invested in this than the saurian had realized. Since when had she had a hunch? Why was Susie not aware of it?

“There's nothing I need to tell you.” the nerd bird snapped. “Our relationship, unexpected as it is, is none of your concern. Why are you so intent on getting me to talk, anyways?”

“Why are you acting all secretive?!” Noelle hissed through gritted teeth, clearly frustrated. “You're always blathering off about everything, but you won't tell me this?? And why do you keep- massaging your neck like that?!”

Berdly cheeped, seemingly caught off guard, and lowered his wing in a flash, swiftly placing it behind his back as if to stop himself from doing that again. He recovered surprisingly quickly, a hint of smugness crossing his features.

“Oh, you know.” the nerd bird smirked self-assuredly. Susie did not like that look on him. “Just a bit of… fun, was all.”

Susie's eyes widened. Next to her, her girlfriend's jaw dropped so quickly she could envision a loud clack noise as it unhinged. How the hell had they progressed to that point already?!

He was bluffing. There was literally no way he wasn't bluffing. Was Berdly even good at bluffing?! He wasn't, was he?! Judging by Noelle's reaction, he most definitely wasn't!

“What?” the reindeer squeaked, at a frequency high enough to only be properly heard by small mammals.

Berdly's smirk grew, his eyes crinkling mischievously. The expression plastered across the nerd's face briefly reminded Susie of Kris. The primal terror that that thought filled her with nearly made her shudder with genuine despair.

“Yeah, right!” the saurian hollered, but there was a fearful hesitation in her voice and she could tell. “Like that would ever happen! Dream on, birdbrain!”

“You have no way to prove it didn't happen.” Berdly drawled, clearly enjoying this far too much. “Nor do I have a non-humiliating way to prove it did. Schrodinger's Hickey.”

“That is not how Schrodinger's Cat works-” Noelle whined dismally, pressing her claws to her temples with a horrified expression on her face, before cutting herself off sharply. She took a deep breath, held it in for a bit, and released it, returning to her customer service face remarkably smoothly. “So. You've… kissed, then.”

Susie fought back a snicker despite the certifiably insane situation that was occurring. Her girlfriend was clearly at a loss for words, staring emptily like the entire world had crumbled at her feet, flabbergasted in a way the saurian had rarely seen her. But could she blame her?! So was she!

Berdly puffed out his chest proudly. Somehow, Susie hated that more than when he usually did it.

“Indeed we have!” he chirped, pressing his wings together with an innocent smile. “Now could we speed this up? I'm just itching to see m'theydy!”

Susie felt like she was losing her mind. “I swear to god if you call Kris “m'theydy” one more time-”

“I'm not done.” Noelle nearly snapped. Both Susie and Berdly twisted their necks to look at her, nearly stopping in their tracks. “I still think there's something you're not telling me, Berdly.”

“Good grief, are you still on about our relationship?” Berdly sighed. “Why would I feel the need to lie about that?”

Noelle opened her mouth to speak, then harshly bit her lip as though she was dangerously close to spewing out something she wasn't supposed to. Susie wished she knew what it was. She would've said it for her, no hesitation.

“I don't know.” the reindeer said with forced tranquility. “You tell me.”

Berdly stared at her in mild confusion for a short while, but suddenly, his face twisted into an outraged look and his feathers fluffed upwards.

“Are you insinuating that I'm lying?!” he scowled.

“Well, can you blame me??” Noelle sounded positively insane, though still audibly trying to maintain a nonthreatening tone. “All of this is breaking news to me! I've never seen you so-”

Berdly let out an exasperated huff, rolling his eyes so intensely they could have rolled right out of their sockets. “What, is it that insane and unbelievable that they stayed over and slept in my nest with m-”

Berdly cut himself off, his beak snapping shut with a click and his face blazing with a fierce cobalt blue blush. Noelle's face fell into pure disbelief - and maybe mild horror - in turn. Susie looked between the two of them, feeling an awful lot like she was in a telenovela of some sort, and probably equally as confused as she would have been if that had been the case.

“Sorry can you say that again?” Noelle squeaked, extremely quietly. Neither her face nor her voice showed any specific emotion.

Berdly stayed silent for a couple seconds, like he was debating not saying anything. He ended up speaking anyway, as the nerd was unfortunately prone to do.

“You heard me.” he replied calmly. Susie thought it sounded almost like a challenge.

God dammit. The nerd bird's mannerisms were once again reminding her of Kris. She wanted out. She wanted out.

Noelle nodded in reply, slowly, fully expressionless.

“Kris slept in your nest.” she deadpanned.

“…They certainly did.” Berdly confirmed. He looked strangely flustered now.

“They slept. In your nest.” Noelle repeated slowly, emphasizing the most important words. “With you.”

Susie didn't get the issue. Wasn't that the same as just… sharing a bed? She would say that's a normal couple thing. Plus, she was pretty sure Noelle understood him the first time, so she wasn't sure why she kept repeating what he said like that.

“That is what I said, yes.” the nerd bird nodded, visibly uneasy.

“Your nest.” Noelle muttered again. “In. Your nest. Your actual nest. Not the temporary sleepover one. The one where you always refused to… that nest.”

Yep okay Noelle had lost her mind. Susie needed to end this failure of an intervention as soon as possible.

“Bells?” the saurian nudged her girlfriend worriedly. “You're kinda, uh… looking a little crazy? Are you? Good?”

The reindeer turned to look at Susie slowly, eyes wide. “…Crazy?”

Berdly smirked. “I was crazy once-”

Susie attempted to strangle him, only letting go of his neck once he actually started choking from lack of air. All the while, Noelle paid no mind to her friend's gasping wheezes and frantic struggles, blinking mindlessly and staring at nothing.

“I feel crazy.” she murmured. “I should stop this conversation before I get a headache.”

“Yeah, let's do that, actually.” Susie put an arm around her, nuzzling her cheek. The reindeer still looked completely lost, but at the very least she was still reacting to her girlfriend's physical affection and reciprocating, so that was a good sign. “We're almost at Kris's, anyways.”

The remainder of the trek to the Dreemurr residence was filled with the most awkward, unsettling silence Susie had ever experienced. And she'd experienced a lot of awkward, unsettling silences. She had never before been the one to walk in the middle of the pack, usually separated from Berdly by Noelle and/or Kris to avoid them antagonizing each other, but for once, the nerd bird was completely silent, not even looking her way, staring down at his talons as though he was afraid to trip.

Thank the Angel it was a short walk. Susie couldn't take another minute of it.

The door to Kris's house was already cracked open before they'd even gotten to the front porch, the enby of the hour standing outside to greet them with a smile. They clasped Susie's in a dap-up and bumped their shoulders together, then casually gave Berdly a quick kiss on the cheek before moving to greet Noelle, who was still a little out of it.

(Even dazed, she easily followed the extremely elaborate, eight step handshake the two of them shared. Susie couldn't help but be a little amazed.)

Susie walked inside first, somehow managing to get through before Berdly's overenthusiastic self. Well, the birdbrain had been a bust, but maybe, for her girlfriend, she could drag something out of Kris. Why not try a quick intervention of her own?

“Hey, dumbass.” she walked over to her best friend, punching them in the shoulder to catch their attention. “There something you're not telling me?”

The human returned the shoulder punch just as brutishly, grinning. For a brief moment, she was reminded of the extremely similar expression Berdly had made earlier on and had to force her facial expression to stay the same so she didn't look like she was having an aneurysm.

‘Wouldn't you like to know?’ they signed cheekily, emphasizing the word “you”, and they left it at that.

The saurian shrugged, instantly giving up. Welp. Guess she wasn't gonna get anywhere with her questioning, either.

“Keep your secrets.” she sighed.

She walked to the stupidly comfortable Dreemurr couch and slouched over right next to Noelle's thoughtful figure, watching as Kris set up the gaming console and Berdly tried to disrupt them with his annoying cawing about anything and everything.

Chapter Text

“Cheater!! You're cheating again!! Stop that!!”

Berdly ignored Kris's mocking gaze as “GAME!” rang out through the TV's speakers and Astrowolf played his victory animation, Hawko clapping for him in the background. When would they stop this madness?! Wavedashing was not and had never been a valid strategy! He would know, because he couldn't- uh, didn't do it!

“Berdly, you can't just say Kris is cheating every time you lose.” Noelle chastised exasperatedly.

“Yeah!” Susie piped up, somehow sprawling herself across the couch even further than she already was. “They're kicking your butt fair and square! I would know - I'm a cheating conna-sure.”

“Connoisseur, Zee.” Noelle murmured to her girlfriend, looking up at her from her spot on the saurian's chest.

“Same difference!”

Kris continued to snicker on their side of the carpet, failing miserably to stifle their amusement. Berdly's cheeks heated up at the way their eyes crinkled and their cheeks puffed up.

“Laugh all you want, Kristopher.” he grumbled. “Rest assured, I will get the better of you soon.”

“Yeah?” they taunted. “Is that “soon” actually soon, or is it gonna be like the seven year wait for Dragon Blazers IV?”

Noelle laughed the hardest at this, a high-pitched sound Berdly didn't get to hear often. The bluebird didn't share her amusement.

“Bite me.” he sneered, glaring at the human through narrowed eyes.

Kris's face broke into a wide grin full of clear malicious intent, before they opened their mouth and chomped down on Berdly's wing, not enough to hurt but enough for him to feel it. The bluebird squawked in surprise, tearing the human away from him with some difficulty. 

“D-did you actually bite me?!” he screeched, outraged.

Susie howled hysterically, Noelle thankfully being much more composed with her giggles this time. Berdly felt his cheeks heat up, ignoring his fake partner's “tongue sticking out” sort of mischievous look that his brain seemed to want to ingrain into his mind permanently.

“Kris, honey, please stop tormenting your poor boyfriend.” Ms. Toriel reprimanded lightly from the kitchen, the sound of running water in the air as she rinsed the dishes from their late lunch. The bluebird only flinched at the word “boyfriend” a little.

“One more round!” he squawked, snatching the controller up from the floor. “I'll show you, you- fiend! I'll mop the floor with you!”

The human snorted, picking their controller up from their lap. “Heh, yeah, maybe as the mop.”

Berdly growled under his breath. The human clicked out of the victory screen nonchalantly, cycling through the character options until they landed on the same character they'd used prior. Berdly picked Hawko, his usual.

“So what are you waiting for?” they asked, keeping a much more casual hold on their controller when compared to Berdly. “Pick the stage. It's the least I could do, for how thoroughly I'm about to kick your ass.”

“Language.” Ms. Toriel stared her child down, eyes narrowed. Kris merely shrugged innocently, sticking their tongue out again.

The bluebird grumbled in annoyance, flicking through the stages. He settled on the classic Battleground, the inferior version of Ultimate Terminus. Perhaps the platforms could disrupt Kris's playing enough for him to actually w- er, for them to regret letting him pick.

“Battleground?” Kris quirked a brow. “Well, if you wanna get jumbled up with the platforms, I guess.”

Berdly smirked self-assuredly. He knew Kris was annoyed at the choice. No true gamer enjoyed a fully competitive match on Battleground. His plan was working flawlessly already.

Just as the three second countdown ended, punches immediately flew. Susie cheered excitedly for Kris in the background, keeping her volume and swears to a minimum for Ms. Toriel's sake. One could hypothetically say that the human was landing more hits than Berdly, but he liked to think that was merely a matter of favoritism and perspective (couldn't trust Susie to be impartial when it came to her best friend versus “that nerdy bird that she hates”).

The match went on, and Berdly was starting to get backed into a corner, though he hated to admit it. His rival's playstyle was relentless, focused - and they weren't even wavedashing this time! But the way they used Astrowolf's energy shield… the combos they easily pulled off… Berdly truly had no chance. Before long, he was down to his last stock.

“Lil' rusty there, aren't you?” Kris taunted.

Berdly bristled, annoyed. “My hinges are well-oiled and under constant maintenance, Kristine.”

“Oh, so you just suck, then.” his rival replied, eyes never leaving the screen.

The bluebird growled, holding the controller tighter. “I'll make you eat those words.”

It was ultimately an empty promise. Though he'd managed to take one of their stocks, Kris racked up Hawko's percentage swiftly despite Berdly's squawks and feeble attempts to fight back and regain control of his character. Then suddenly, instead of finishing him off… Astrowolf grabbed Hawko. And Kris did nothing else, simply sitting there, idly moving their fingers over the buttons without pressing any of them.

Berdly glanced at the human, befuddled. He was surprised to find them already returning said glance, smirking a little.

“What are you doing?” Berdly hissed out, mashing furiously to escape the grab and landing a couple of hits on Kris.

“Nothing.” they replied smoothly.

They grabbed him again soon after, once again allowing him to escape and get a couple of hits in. It was all they were doing, really, just immobilizing him for a period of time, allowing him a brief moment of freedom, then catching him again, like an orca toying with its prey. He was getting more confused by the second, frustration prickling under his skin. Was this some sort of victory lap? To rub their imminent triumph in even more?

The next time Astrowolf grabbed Hawko, Berdly felt something brush against his knee.

He flinched in place, the beating of his SOUL skyrocketing. Briefly, he allowed himself to look at the source. It was Kris. Of course it was Kris. They'd edged closer to him without him noticing, close enough for their knees to touch.

He didn't know why that was messing with him so much.

“What?” Kris drawled mockingly. “Can't focus if your partner is too close to you?”

Berdly ignored them, mashing out of the grab once more. Astrowolf's percentage was getting higher, high enough for a knockout if he baited Kris to the edge of the stage. But before he could, the human managed to grab him again. And did nothing. Again. It was getting really old really quickly.

Berdly suppressed an annoyed sigh. “Seriously, why do you-”

His words turned into a choked noise when he felt Kris slide their arm around his waist to pull him closer to them, fingers running all the way through the small of his back as they pulled their hand away.

Berdly swallowed. He wasn't sure if the rumbling in his chest was still his SOUL, or if the culmination of his being had been replaced by a car motor.

(He did not want the touch to linger. He didn't want the Smashing Fighters match to magically resolve itself so Kris could drop their controller and freely get their hands all over him and maybe-)

Berdly attempted to ground himself and focus on the game again, gripping the controller for dear life, talons curled so tightly he worried they were tearing the carpet.

‘It's not real.’ his brain reminded him, for whatever reason.

“No harm in getting a little closer, right?” Kris murmured, practically leaning their head on his shoulder to do it.

“You cretin.” the bluebird spat, breathing ragged. “Ruining the sanctity of-”

The telltale sign of a smashing hit and the shatter that accompanied the loss of a stock cut him off.

“GAME!”

Berdly blinked, gawking at the screen, unable to calm his racing SOUL just yet. Of course. Of course! Kris just wanted to taunt him yet again! The proximity, the more lighthearted trash talking, the way they looked at him… it was all part of their plan to win in the most frustrating way possible!

(There was an errant pang of disappointment in his chest. He thought nothing of it.)

“How dare you?!” he screeched, scowling at Kris's smirking face. “Y- Now you definitely cheated! You're not supposed to use your charms to-”

“My charms, you say?” his rival teased. Berdly bristled. Had he really said that out loud?!

“N-not what I meant!” he stammered, feeling warm under his feathers. “I was talking about- y-your tricks!”

Kris chuckled under their breath, rolling their eyes at him. “Yeah, I'm absolutely certain you were, you du-”

“Gross!” Susie pretended to shove a finger into her maw, fake-gagging. “Go do that somewhere else, you nerds!”

The human clicked their tongue despite the light tinge of pink on their cheeks. “Bold words for someone I caught gnawing on one of Noelle's shedded antlers a couple months ago.”

Susie snapped her mouth shut right quick. Noelle made a thin squealing noise like a dying field mouse, blushing furiously. She turned to look at her girlfriend.

“D-did…” she asked, almost inaudible. “Did it at least taste nice…?”

The saurian hesitated before nodding curtly, face turning a comically pinkish shade. Noelle blushed even harder, averting her gaze like the lovesick teen she was. Her ears flicked wildly, making her golden curls bounce.

Now it was Berdly's turn to fake-gag. Except he was pretty sure his own gagging was less fake than it should be.

“I'm becoming homophobic.” Kris announced solemnly, face scrunched up in distaste.

“L-like you're not a fu- freaking weirdo too!” Susie retaliated, still blushing viciously. “Just get a room already!”

“You know what?!” Berdly got up from the floor, grabbing Kris by their sweater and very discreetly hinting at them to do so as well by hoisting them up (with some effort). “Perhaps we will!”

His fake partner's ascent was much more awkward than his, stumbling onto their feet, but they still followed after him (not that they had much of a choice, seeing as he was dragging them along). Kris's mother stared after the two of them owlishly.

“Good day, Ms. Toriel.” he murmured softly when they passed the kitchen.

“Oh, dear.” the goat monster murmured, though the bluebird thought she looked vaguely amused as he turned the corner.

Determined, Berdly thundered up the stairs and into the Dreemurr siblings' bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him - as annoyed as he was, he still had some manners.

(He didn't question the birdcage on Kris's side of the room. He just assumed they'd had a pet prior.)

He glared at Kris in silence, tail swishing. His fake partner didn't react at all, fixing him with the classic deadpan expression they liked to wear.

“So what's your plan here?” they asked calmly.

Berdly's mind blanked, realization setting in. Why did he… What… was his plan, exactly?

“I… did not think it through.” he admitted shamefully.

Kris snorted a little, looking extremely amused.

“'Course you didn't.” they chuckled. “What, did you subconsciously want me to kiss your embarrassing loss better and felt too shy with our friends and my mom in the room?”

The bluebird bristled, cheeks heating up and SOUL thrumming quicker at the tone with which they said that. His feathers began to rise against his body.

“I only lost because of your tricks.” he hissed. “Your victory was dishonorable! It was just as sinful as - if not more than - your wavedashing! I refuse it!”

“Yeah?” Kris prompted, not seeming to care all that much. It just made Berdly angrier.

“You think that just because you consistently roll high on your Charisma stat, you can do whatever you want with it?!” he continued, the usual flair of his voice slowly fading the more he spoke. “What happened to fairness?! Integrity?! The Gamer's Code of Honor?! Us being in a fake relationship is not an excuse to…”

Berdly trailed off, whatever was clouding his judgement dissipating slowly as he noticed the way Kris was… staring at his chest. Like… really staring. Intently, like a cat who had just spotted movement under a sheet and was preparing to pounce.

“Um.” all traces of anger had faded from his tone, replaced with hesitant confusion (and a little nervousness). “What are you staring at?”

The human's eyes flickered back up to him and they blinked. Their cheeks turned a little red. Why did they seem… flustered?

“W-well, it's just…” they looked away again, chuckling nervously. “You got so mad and poofed up so much… your chest feathers are kinda spilling out through your shirt collar?”

Berdly's SOUL skipped a beat, suddenly feeling wildly flustered himself. He knew he should have worn a turtleneck again - his plumage was always uncontrollable during the cold season. He tried to look down and check the damage, see how ridiculous he looked, but it was hard to see anything with his beak in the way. He settled for burying his face in his wings instead.

“Good lord, this is embarrassing.” he sighed dismally, burning up with humiliation. A quick, split-second thought crossed his brain, too fast for him to properly think it over before his mouth voiced it. “Ugh- You know what? Since you think you're so smart, why don't you just-”

The bluebird snapped his beak shut with a clack and cut himself off, SOUL racing in his chest. Was… w-was he really about to…?!

“Yeah…?” Kris prompted, the ghost of a self-satisfied grin on their face.

“A mere lapse of judgement.” Berdly remedied quickly, trying to keep his voice even. “I will not be finishing my sentence.”

“That's okay, I got the gist of it.” the human snickered. “You want me to help you out, don't you? Can't see the fluff well enough to smooth it down yourself?”

Berdly blinked slowly. Wow. Had they really just handed him an excu- justification on a silver platter?

“You said it, not me.” he fought to keep the rapid thumps of his SOUL in check.

Kris snickered. “Hey, that's my line.”

Silence hung heavy around them. Neither of them moved, Kris clasping and unclasping their hands around each other as they averted their eyes, uncharacteristically shy. Finally, they opened their mouth to speak.

“…So do you-”

“Just get it over with.” Berdly interrupted them with a forceful huff.

They didn't seem to need much more than that, setting their sights on Berdly's plumage again. Their hands slowly approached the feathers, and the bluebird instinctively craned his neck ever so slightly, allowing them more room to work with, bristling with anticipation.

The first sign of hesitant contact sent jolts of pure electricity down Berdly's spine.

He nearly jumped, unable to muffle a tiny gasp of surprise. He didn't expect such an… intense bodily reaction to that. He thought he was already used to Kris's shenanigans, to the touches they left all over him. They'd marked his neck, for crying out loud! Wh-why was this…?

His fake partner's fingers burrowed deeper into the feathers, parsing through it clinically, almost as if studying it, and Berdly completely bluescreened. He felt his quiet breaths get ragged, the mind fog he'd been desperately fighting back against spreading with a vengeance. What was happening to him? Why did it feel so… good?

“Your, uh.” Kris suddenly looked very awkward, eyes fixed on Berdly's chest fluff as they ran their fingers through it. “Your feathers are really soft.”

(Their attempts to smooth it down were halfhearted at best. If anything, the feathers were messier.)

The human made full contact with the skin underneath the plumage and Berdly couldn't choke back a trill, the noise sounding confused, almost like a question. With the way they were brushing the collar of his shirt, it almost seemed like they were slipping their hands under it to reach the fluffier areas of his chest. He didn't know if that was just some sort of deranged wishful thinking or not.

Kris's eyes snapped up to look at him. He met their gaze, head tilted up as he wheezed like he'd ran a marathon, and their face reddened. Berdly would find glee in it, if he wasn't currently trying to prevent himself from dissolving into the floor at their touch.

“I can feel your SOUL racing.” Kris whispered. Rather than the expected flirty lilt, they sounded awed. “You, um… You okay?”

“I don't know.” Berdly blurted out, just as quiet. “I don't know what's happening.”

Kris hesitated for a while. “…Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” he replied immediately, shaking his head. “Keep going. Please.”

His fake partner seemed positively caught off guard. Their breath shook as they huffed out an awkward laugh.

“If you wanted your daily fix of physical touch, y-you could have just said so.” they teased, but they sounded winded, out of it.

Berdly replied with a muffled mix between a chirrup and a grumble, hyperfocused on Kris's roaming hands and how the tips of their fingers dipped further under his collar. They weren't even trying to make it seem like an accident anymore. Every brush of his feathers, every touch of his skin, it was intentional, perfectly curated to make him lose his mind as quickly as possible.

The contact was driving him insane. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He could only feel, his magic roaring through his body with adrenaline and his SOUL hammering in his chest so viciously it would have worried him, if he cared about anything besides his fake partner's addicting touch in that moment.

“Kris, please-” Berdly breathed out, voice, mind and SOUL heavy with desire. “Stop dawdling.”

The human's eyes met his again, a hungry gleam in their depths, pupils dilated. They took their hands off his chest fluff and he whined, actually whined at the loss of contact, before inhaling all the oxygen in the room when Kris slid their entire arms under his shirt for easier access, the action getting them even closer to him.

The sensations overloaded Berdly instantly, goosebumps flaring all over his skin as he tried not to choke on air. Kris's touch was hurried, but not invasive, light as a feather, sweeping over every area of Berdly's chest with careful consideration. Once in a while, they'd knead the feathers softly, their breaths growing heavier, and the bluebird would have to use the remainder of his feeble brainpower to hold back the decidedly undignified noises that bubbled up.

Berdly felt hazy, unfocused, the touch making it impossible for him to think properly and his vision swimming like he needed to up his prescription. It felt so good. Everything felt so good, he could barely keep himself standing. He had half a mind to put his limp wings to good use and pull Kris into a needy, desperate kiss, feel their mouth against his beak as their hands kept exploring his feathers-

A sturdy, but not aggressive knock sounded at the door. Kris immediately slipped their arms out from under Berdly's shirt and moved at least five feet away from him. This time, Berdly was so startled by the noise that he managed not to protest the sudden distance.

“Kris, Berdly?” Ms. Toriel's voice sounded from the other side. “Is everything alright? Susie is getting a little impatient, so I began to wonder why you have been here for so long… You are not arguing, are you?”

Berdly opened his beak to speak, but his fake partner beat him to it.

“N-no, mom.” they stuttered, tone surprisingly even in spite of it. “We're fine. No need to worry, we'll be down in a bit.”

“Oh, that's a relief.” Ms. Toriel sighed. “Do not get up to anything silly, now!”

Soft, padded steps notified the goat monster's leave. Both Berdly and Kris unleashed the longest sigh of their lives, breathing heavily while desperately avoiding eye contact. The bluebird used the much-needed break to rethink his entire existence now that the haze around his brain had dissipated. What the hell was that?! Why had he just turned into some- some mindless creature searching only for some kind of release?! It was almost like… l-like…

A sudden, mortifying realization broke through his messy thoughts and into the forefront of his mind.

It was his avian instincts. All of that had been an instinctive reaction. Of course. Of fucking course.

…W-well, obviously that had just been his instincts! Just a component of his physiology, like that one time at the house party! They'd touched him in an area that his instincts recognized as more, so his brain hardwired him to view them as a genuine romantic partner for a split second!

It was a natural reaction. It didn't mean anything!

(It didn't mean anything.)

“Don't speak of this again.” he told Kris, somewhat harshly. He couldn't bear to look at them.

“Roger.” the human replied, sounding dazed, as Berdly opened the door and the two of them made their way downstairs.

[…]

Maybe it was for the best that they were all heading to the Dark World now, because Berdly had come to the conclusion that all he'd desperately needed was some fresh air.

Susie had seemed confused at the lack of carnage when the two returned to the living room, flushed and mildly disheveled, but unharmed. Noelle had looked extremely confused, too, but maybe for different reasons. Regardless, the lackluster ending to the Smashing Fighters match and the lack of real world physical violence had gotten Susie in a bad mood all the same.

And so that was how they ended up deciding on a physical brawl to compensate for the digital one. And by “they”, Berdly meant Susie. Kris, Noelle and himself were simply along for the ride.

The walk to school was thankfully enough to rid his mind of unwanted thoughts and traitorous feelings of longing. Those obnoxious people on Chitter were unfortunately right; going outside and touching grass really did do wonders. And the chilly breeze ruffling his feathers felt so very freeing.

Upon arrival, school doors opened easily with a casual push from Kris, who had stayed in front and avoided eye contact with everyone. Berdly didn't even stop to wonder why in the world the school was always unlocked, even outside of the school period. He had a Dark World battle to prepare for.

The descent into the void that was the school's supply closet was always a vertigo-inducing experience for Berdly, the feeling of his clothes reforming into his glow-in-the-dark armor constricting in a very uncomfortable way. Right as they came up to the road that led to Castle Town, the usual duo - Ralsei and Lancer - greeted them.

“Susie! Other clowns!” Lancer squealed excitedly, his tiny spade tail wagging behind him. “It's been four years! I missed you like a bird yearns for a cage!”

“I don't think you're using that metaphor correctly…” Noelle pointed out with a polite chuckle.

The jack of spades disregarded her. Without warning, he leapt into the air and sphered up, locking in on Susie like a heat-seeking ballistic missile before barreling towards her. The saurian caught him easily, though skidding back on the ground ever so slightly.

“Great to see ya too, dumbass.” she said over their mutual cackles of appreciation, giving him a firm noogie and flipping him onto her back so he was piggybacking off her.

“I keep telling him it's only been about a day or so, but he doesn't seem to get it.” Ralsei stage-whispered to her with an oddly affectionate look. He raised his voice to address the whole group. “To what do I owe this nice surprise?”

Kris stepped forward. “Well-”

“Kris and Berdly are fighting to the death!” Susie announced with a wide grin and a concerning level of glee.

“Wowzers!” Lancer gasped out, visibly excited.

“Hm.” Ralsei pursed his lips, sweat beading on his forehead. “That sounds unorthodox. Elaborate.”

“Well, since they can't kill each other in-game properly, I figured some real carnage would be a lot more fun.” Susie explained proudly.

“…Okay. I don't think any more context would help.” Ralsei nodded slowly, muzzle displaying a confused smile. “So… the Love Dojo, then?”

Berdly furrowed his brows. Hadn't they called it the Party Dojo last time? What was it with that building's naming scheme??

“Hell yeah.” Susie smirked.

“Ooh, can I watch, can I watch?!” Lancer piped up excitedly, bunching up bits of Susie's mane to stay balanced on her back as he swayed with enthusiasm. “Boy howdy, I hope there's enough buckets for all the blood!”

“I'm afraid not, Lancer.” Ralsei murmured as they walked. “You're a bit too young for such… carnage.”

“How am I too young?!” the spade gawked. “I'm ten whole years old! That's seventy in dog years!”

Ralsei stared at Lancer in silence, thoroughly bemused. Her brows furrowed slowly.

“…Right, but you're not a-” the princess cut herself off, shaking her head. “You know what?”

She quickly entered the Party (Love??) Dojo, rummaged through something, then came back out. Under her arm was a suspiciously Lancer-shaped cardboard sign, which she placed on the floor. It seemed to be about a foot taller than the real Lancer, only a couple inches shorter than Kris.

“I fear you're not tall enough.” Ralsei rephrased, a look of almost genuine pity on his face.

“Damn.” Susie solemnly shook her head in disappointment, apparently also completely fooled(???). “Sucks.”

“Aw, crack my crackerjacks!” Lancer swung his arm to the side in disappointment. “You've got me this time, but I'll grow real big and strong one day! You'll see!”

The spade casually frontflipped off of Susie's back and walked off dejectedly, yammering under his breath (something about having to “osmose more milk”…?). Berdly decided it was best if he didn't attempt to make sense of the little creature.

Instead, he followed the others into the Love (Party??) Dojo, trying not to feel winded at how much bigger it was on the inside. They took their places, while Susie, Noelle and Ralsei made their way to the closest thing the building had to a stand.

“Try to kill each other!” Susie bellowed with enthusiasm, teeth bared.

“Try… not… to kill each other!” Noelle and Ralsei chorused, sweating.

Berdly turned back to his opponent. They were staring him down, lips quirked into a slight smirk. It was a normal interaction. Easy to interpret. Easy to handle. He was glad for that.

“Ready?” Kris asked him, unsheathing their sword.

“…As I'll ever be.” he replied, allowing himself to smirk back as he summoned his Halbird and gripped it tightly.

A bell rang from somewhere. Berdly didn't know where. All he knew was that it was clearly announcing the start of their brawl. Kris didn't waste time going in for a quick vertical slash, which Berdly easily blocked by holding his Halbird horizontally. It was a predictable move. Not at all like the human's typical fighting style. For a brief moment, he felt patronized.

He didn't get to feel that way for long, though, because Kris used his confusion to give him a kick to his shins, making him hiss in pain and stumble back. Before he fell, though, he managed to grip his talons around Kris's leg, making them fall along with him… and on top of him.

(He blamed the sudden increase in the racing of his SOUL on adrenaline.)

His opponent got to their feet quickly, much quicker than Berdly did, going for another slash. The bluebird quickly jumped back to dodge it, winded from the effort of doing so so quickly (he was not out of shape, trust him), and sent out a Spear Blast, aiming in an arc around Kris. The bluebird watched the way their SOUL danced in front of them, just barely avoiding each spear - not because they were struggling to avoid them, but clearly to gather the coveted TP.

His Halbird's eye flicked to him as if that had been his fault and he bit back a scoff. He was not about to let himself be mocked by his weapon, this time flapping a wing and sending a wave of tornadoes. To both his and Kris's surprise, the red SOUL got struck by one, then another, the human stumbling on their feet. Berdly bristled with anticipation. This was his chance!

He rushed over to them, Halbird in hand, lifting it for a swipe… before he saw their eyes glint under their bangs and they knocked his weapon out of his grip with their sword. The Halbird disappeared into plasma particles, and Berdly's SOUL dropped.

If there was one thing Berdly could allow himself to admit in his head, it was that Kris was much, much better at real-life combat than him. It wasn't long before they had completely incapacitated him, sending him careening to the ground with a sweep of their leg. Berdly had tried to gather himself, had tried to summon his weapon again, but his efforts ceased once he looked up and saw his opponent properly.

Kris was hovering over him, the tip of their sword pointed at his face, at a safe distance but still close enough to be unnerving. Berdly panted heavily on the ground, leaning on his forewings as he stared into his rival's eyes, teasing and amused and triumphant all at the same time.

With their unmatched real-life reflexes, Kris could do whatever they wanted to him at that moment. He wouldn't have a chance to catch them off guard. He was completely at their mercy.

And truth be told, he'd never been this insanely attracted to them before. Never before had he wanted them to-

…

Wait what.

Berdly actually audibly squawked, talons scratching the ground with how quickly he scrambled to get up. His skin burned under his feathers and he could barely hear the world around him with how hard he was breathing.

This couldn't be happening. It simply couldn't be happening. He couldn't seriously be developing such complex emotions towards his classmate, his sworn rival, his nemesis. He couldn't be thinking about what it would be like if Kris had pressed their sword right up to his neck and leaned down to his level to-

“Hey, birdie?” Kris's voice broke him out of his thoughts. Though it mostly sounded teasing, Berdly thought he could detect a layer of genuine worry. “Was that too much?”

Berdly despised how the word “birdie” echoed in his head mockingly, almost as if trying to get him closer to a stroke. It wasn't a pet name. They weren't actually dating. So why did hearing it passing through Kris's lips affect him so much? Why did he want them to call him that while combing through his feathers, or kissing his neck, o-or…

Oh, Angel above. He should have known. He should have fucking known all of those traitorous thoughts from before, thoughts he'd fully attributed to his crippling loneliness and lack of romantic experience, would have led to this. He couldn't even blame his instincts now; there was nothing that was messing with them! How could he allow this to happen?!

It wasn't true. There was simply no way. He couldn't have gone and developed a… crush on that idiot, right?!

“I-I should be asking you that question, Kristine.” Berdly finally replied to his rival, wanting to pluck his own feathers at how winded he sounded. He couldn't focus with the way Kris was looking at him. “You're looking quite out of breath there. Have I tired you out?”

Ah, deflection. The best tool for a supergenius such as himself.

Kris lowered their sword with an amused chuckle. The noise rattled Berdly's very SOUL. “Better take a look at yourself before you make such an accusation.”

Berdly flexed his wing feathers, his beak tensing as he tried to maintain his cool and relaxed persona. Why, oh why, did he keep looking at the way his rival's lips moved?! He was better than this! He was so much better than this! He wasn't some miserable whelp starved of affection! So why was he suddenly unable to stop thinking about Kris pinning him to the wall of the Party (Love??) Dojo and making sure he had to relearn his own name?!

His knees wobbled suddenly, his breathing thin. He needed to sit down. He needed to sit down and have a long, hard think about every single decision he made that had him end up in his situation while planning separate murder attempts for each Past-Berdly responsible for them.

Perhaps the Past-Berdly that blurted out he and Kris were dating that fateful day at ICE-E's could get some good old-fashioned strangulation. And the Past-Berdly who very casually asked Kris to mark his neck could get locked in a freezer for all he cared. He'd have to brainstorm it.

Kris sheathed their blade and damn near rushed to his side, eyebrows knitting with concern. Berdly pretended to preen so he could attempt to hide his scorching face with his wing.

“Okay, seriously, Berdly, I know you're super unhelpful about this stuff, but you'd tell me if I went overboard, right?” the human asked, a little urgently. “Your legs are shaking like crazy. That can't be normal.”

Ah, if only his rival knew how truly abnormal it was.

“I'm fine, Kris.” he gritted out through his clenched beak, pulling at his index feather. “Just peachy.”

The human shrugged awkwardly, unconvinced. “If you say so.”

A loud, annoyed groan snapped the two out of their conversation. Berdly turned to look at the makeshift stands, being met with Susie's disgruntled look.

“That was fuckin' lame!” she hollered, cupping her mouth with her hands for better sound projection. “I want my money back!”

“This wasn't a paid event, Susie.” Noelle reminded her playfully with a muffled giggle.

“Yeah, no wonder it wasn't a paid event!” the saurian scoffed. “That fight lasted, what, five minutes? There would be rioting if people paid for five minutes of nothing!”

“I thought it was very well done, you two!” Ralsei piped up next to her, clapping politely. “Berdly's stance is improving steadily. And Kris, you're the natural you've always been!”

“Whatever!” Susie threw her hands up in the air with a scoff, getting up from her seat and turning to face her girlfriend. “I'm gonna get some grub. Wanna come?”

Noelle instantly hummed in affirmation, nodding feverishly. Berdly managed to resist the urge to roll his eyes as the two frolicked away, all sunshine and rainbows. Ralsei followed suit a couple of steps behind, possibly to make sure Susie was actually getting normal food instead of going to Lancer for jar salsa again. Berdly couldn't believe Noelle had tried it without so much as a hint of hesitation last time that happened.

“They're such losers.” Kris murmured fondly next to him. They were so much closer than they had been prior.

Berdly fought back a full body shiver. The human's sudden presence swiftly reminded him that he had bigger things to worry about.

What had gotten into him back there, so sappy and silly like he'd wagered his IQ points in the brawl against his rival and lost them when he lost the fight?! Why was it that even now, Kris's voice was having a debilitating effect on him?!

Berdly had to fix this. He had to get rid of these embarrassing reactions as soon as possible. How was he supposed to detach himself from such intense, non rival-approved emotions? Would he eventually get bored of it if it continued? Could overexposure to their kisses and other acts of affection vanquish these…

A lightbulb flickered to life inside the bluebird's vast mind palace.

Of course! It was so obvious! All he had to do was get himself accustomed to the feeling of kissing them by doing it over and over again, and then his complicated emotions towards them would immediately dissipate, seeing as they were not real and a mere lie fabricated by his subconscious and had he said not real? It worked just like exposure therapy, surely!

Maybe if he… stared into those crimson eyes one more time… it'd fix him. If he just… got enough of their kisses… their breathy murmurs of encouragement… the feeling of their fingers combing through his feathers… or their hands gripping his waist like he was theirs…

His spiraling thought process was starting to make him feel dizzy.

“Berdly?” Kris's uncertain voice broke him out of his thoughts. “Are you-”

“Can I kiss you?” the bluebird blurted out before he could properly think it over.

Kris looked visibly taken aback - and for a noticeable amount of time, no less. When they wiped that look off their face, the cocky glint in their eyes wasn't as fierce as usual, almost like they were stunned by how direct Berdly was being.

“Well, well, well!” they chuckled. “Look who finally got his boldness back!”

Berdly stubbornly glared at the ground, SOUL hammering in his chest. “Answer the question.”

“Trying to cash in on a classic trope?” Kris joked, their tone light and flirty. “Or are you taking me up on that offer from before?”

“Weren't you the one who said it didn't hurt to practice?” Berdly scoffed, feathers bristling. “I didn't take you for someone who went back on their word, Kris.”

The human took a comically large step forward. As he backed away from them, Berdly felt his back hit the wall of the Love (Party??) Dojo, shivering at the unexpected rugged texture. Their vibrant eyes gleamed roguishly under their bangs, pinkish in color due to the Dark World's inexplicable lighting.

(He didn't feel fixed.)

“Who says I went back on it?” they murmured.

Berdly felt his beak drying up and his mind go hazy, but he pushed past those moments of weakness with some difficulty. Not this time, they wouldn't! He was calling the shots now! And he was going to kiss his fake partner until his feelings dried out like a bog in the summer! Or else!

He fixed Kris with a determined look, grabbed their magenta scarf, and pulled them into a kiss before either of them could say anything else. Kris reciprocated quickly, pressing him into the wall as they molded his beak with their enviable kissing prowess. Berdly couldn't help but chirrup at the intoxicating feeling, already struggling to breathe only a few seconds in.

“Mmm… Y're gettin'… bett'r at this…” Kris hummed into Berdly's mouth. The only reason the bluebird didn't instantly collapse on the floor at the sound of their voice was because the human was effortlessly holding him up.

Their quiet praise flipped a switch in Berdly's brain. His chirps grew marginally in volume and he buried his wing feathers in Kris's hair, feeling how soft it somehow still was, even when unkempt. Tentatively, he gave the strands between his feathers a light, experimental tug. Kris moaned into his beak in response, squeezing him harder against the wall and kissing back with more fervor as they grazed his beak with their teeth.

“Fuck, that's good.” they groaned, pulling away just enough to do so before leaning back in for more. Their hold on him tightened, nails digging into the fabric of the bodysuit underneath his glow in the dark armor. “Keep doing that.”

Berdly's lungs felt heavy, his head shrouded in a thick, impenetrable fog as his breathing quickened. He couldn't think about anything substantial. In his one-track mind, there was only Kris; their lips, their eyes, their hands, their hair, the way they kissed him, the sounds they made when he heeded their request, the way they sighed his name in between kisses-

Kris pulled away. Berdly was dangerously close to letting out a warble of complaint, but he managed to swallow it down somehow.

The human's hair was more disheveled than ever, their breaths coming out shallow, yet still infuriatingly even, as if Berdly wasn't wheezing like he'd just barely survived the average PE class by comparison. He couldn't be truly unhappy, though - they looked disgustingly attractive like that, sweat dripping down their face from their forehead, their lips quirking up just slightly and their stunning eyes almost glowing under their bangs.

(He fought the monumental urge to pull them back in.)

“Was that a good enough reminder?” they teased breathily. Berdly must have looked a little too bothered by the lack of kissing currently going on, because they added “You sounded like you were about to pass out, so I stopped.”

“Y-yes.” Berdly breathed, before his head finally cleared and he realized how winded he sounded. “Er, I-I mean- yes. It was. Thank you.”

“No problem, bluebird.” Kris wore a genuine smile now. Berdly bristled. Why did they have to say that so warmly? “Wanna go grab something to drink at the Cafe? Angel knows you need it.”

Berdly finally peeled himself off of the Party (Love??) Dojo's back wall, scrunching up his beak upon seeing Kris sticking their tongue out at him with a mischievous look.

(Trying not to think about how exposure therapy didn't work and oh Angel almighty he wanted to kiss them again so badly it hurt-)

“That would be good.” he conceded tiredly, ignoring his wavering voice.

The walk to the Cafe was a short one - it was quite literally just down the hypothetical street. Still, Kris had walked ahead of Berdly for a good majority of it, not meeting his eye. They didn't look upset by any means, merely lost in thought, but it made him feel a little antsy regardless. Wasn't this… part of the arrangement? Why did they seem so conflicted? And why did he feel conflicted?

Ah. Right. Recent realization of deeper feelings and subsequent failure to get rid of them. That was bound to make anyone feel conflicted. Especially when the idea of reciprocation was so unfathomable that it might as well have been a fairytale.

Ralsei stood by the entrance of the Cafe, perking up once she saw the two of them approaching. Her lips curled into a soft smile and she began waving at them, tufted tail-tip flicking from side to side happily.

“Kris! Berdly!” the fluffy princess called out. “I thought you'd want refreshments after your spar, so I saved you a table! Come on in!”

Berdly and Kris followed Ralsei inside. Upon entering the building, the bluebird immediately noticed Susie and Noelle at a table on the far end, keeping to themselves and standing much closer than necessary. Noelle was taking a sip of her eggnog as Susie spoke about something or other, which left her with droplets of the beverage clinging to the tawny fur above her upper lip.

Susie tilted her head and pointed a claw at Noelle, seemingly to make her aware of the eggnog mustache she was currently sporting, which led the reindeer to blush furiously. Before she could wipe it away with a napkin, Susie tapped her forearm to get her attention. When she had it, the saurian bit down on one of her Hearts Donuts savagely, tearing out a chunk, and pointed at her own muzzle. The action had left her with a food splatter above her upper lip as well, bits of chunky jam sticking to the scales. Noelle broke into a fit of giggles, putting a fist over her mouth to muffle them.

“They looked like they were having a really good time by themselves, so I let them be.” Ralsei stage-whispered to him with a cheeky smile, winking exaggeratedly.

Berdly's beak scrunched up. He scoffed quietly under his breath, looking away from the two lovesick girls and following Kris and Ralsei to their own table, dropping down on his seat a little too harshly.

(He was not jealous.)

It wasn't long before Swatch himself made his way to them, effortlessly balancing a tray of various foods and refreshments in one wing.

“A mug of hot chocolate for the human, a Cool Blue Dileade for the feathered one…” Swatch listed off, swiftly serving them the respective orders. “and of course, a slice of chocolate cake and chamomile tea for our young princess.”

The avian-like creature bowed deeply before walking away. Berdly eyed his Dileade bottle, twisting it open before pouring it into the glass Swatch brought along for easier drinking. He dipped his beak in and took a sip. Not too cold, not too room-temperature. Perfectly refrigerated, just as he typically drank it. He could never get used to how the Swatchlings seemed to inherently know what each one of them liked and how they liked it.

Berdly tried to catch the conversation between Kris and Ralsei, but he had entirely tuned out, merely watching the two as they conversed. His eyes kept drifting to the human's lips as they sipped their drink. He didn't know how many times that had happened in the short time they'd been seated at that table, but it wasn't the first by a long shot.

He did know why it kept happening. It was that kiss. That absolutely divine kiss. The bluebird would even say it was a life-altering experience, if that concept didn't sound so ludicrous. All that moment with Kris had done was leave him wanting more, needing more, in a way so utterly debilitating it felt like a physical weight on the unfortunate bluebird's weary SOUL.

Angel, Berdly was such an idiot. Why would he do something like that to himself?! That hadn't helped at all! It just made everything worse! Why had he ever thought it would help?!

He didn't need this right now. He didn't need to be mooning over Kris like some sort of pathetic sap, especially not when the only reason he was doing so was because the two of them had gotten tangled in something as silly as a fake relationship - not to mention, the clear fact that they didn't reciprocate in the slightest. These feelings meant nothing. His thoughts on Kris remained the same. And if they didn't, he would make sure they did.

He took a sip of his Dileade and pushed those complicated emotions into the depths of his subconscious, determined to avoid bringing them back up at all costs. He couldn't afford to let them ruin the bond he shared with Kris.

(He couldn't let them find out this arrangement meant more to him than it ever should.)

Chapter Text

“-so really, my loss was naught but a matter of perspective.” Berdly continued, eyes stubbornly fixed on Ralsei. “My moves were more than capable of knocking Kris out. They were merely lucky!”

Kris swirled the remainder of their hot chocolate around, listening to the bluebird meander about in speech. They made an effort to tune back into the conversation, if only to make sure their fake boyfriend wasn't somehow boring Ralsei to tears. It appeared that he'd been blathering about several things since the three of them sat down, but the connecting topic between them seemed to be their recent spar.

“Er- Yes, Berdly, that's, um… the third time you've said that.” Ralsei commented politely. “I'm sure you had the fight “in the bag”, but you must realize that there's still a long way for you to-”

“Not so long anymore, my good lass!” Berdly crowed self-assuredly. “Soon I will surpass my dearest Kris! Just you wait! Not even the experience from their misadventures will be enough to stop me!”

Ralsei hummed slowly in agreement, shooting Kris a look that practically begged them to save him from this conversation. They fought back an amused smile and decided to humor Berdly, consequently freeing the dark princess from having to deal with the bluebird when he's overcompensating for more than five minutes at a time.

“Still pissy you lost the fight?” they teased, leaning over the table.

Berdly cheeped, looking at Kris with wide eyes. They thought his gaze flicked down for a split second, but it must have been a trick of the light.

“I'm sure that's what you like to tell yourself, Third Place.” Berdly snipped, eyes narrowing immediately. “Bah. If it wasn't for the fact that the sustenance in the Dark World is remarkably unsatiating, I would have already demanded a rematch.”

Ralsei perked up as if she'd suddenly remembered something, her eyes wide with distress.

“Oh no!” she gasped. “You've just sparred, and you only had a drink at the Cafe afterwards- You need to go back to the Light World right now and have some real food!”

“Huh?” Berdly blinked, visibly antsy. “N-no, young princess, it's quite alright. I'm not even all that hungry, really-”

“It could even be a fun little date idea!” the Darkner chirped all of a sudden, pressing her paws together with a bright smile. Her expression fell slightly as she looked between Kris and Berdly. “You two… are together, are you not?”

Kris blanched. Shit. What were they supposed to say now? Denying it could mean completely messing up the ruse, but on the other hand… An… actual date? With… Berdly?

Maybe they could just say they broke up. Maybe this was a good time to finally end this stupid ass thing because it'd gone way too far at this point and-

“W-we are indeed.” Berdly replied, somewhat awkwardly.

Welp. So much for that.

“Then there's no problem, right?” Ralsei looked positively delighted at the prospect; he'd always been pretty enthused at the idea of love, even though he didn't want it for himself. “I'm sure you'll have lots of fun, just like at the festival!”

The human's SOUL skipped a beat at the mention of that fateful day, face suddenly feeling warmer. Shiiiit. Ralsei was far too cute to just go around asking people to do dumb shit. Why did they feel so compelled to listen to him…?

They sighed, a little dismally. They couldn't believe they were actually doing this.

“…Doesn't sound like a bad idea.” they mumbled through gritted teeth.

Through the corner of their eye, they could see Berdly's feathers fluffing up.

“Wh-” the bluebird began, before he pursed his beak and metaphorically bit his tongue. “Y-yes indeed! A splendid idea! It has been a long time since our last date, has it not?”

Kris shot him a playfully fond look, an underlying mischief to it. Berdly bristled further, knowing exactly what was to come.

“You're always so very busy lately…” they whined, draping themselves over the table dramatically. “You never make time for little old me… Your partner…”

Berdly groaned, an endearing blush spreading across his cheeks.

“You're such a nuisance sometimes, you know that?” he told them. Strangely enough, there was also a sort of fondness in his tone.

Kris poked his cheek over the table, watching as the fluffing of his feathers doubled and he stood up a little straighter. “That's what you like about me.”

Berdly just huffed, looking away with an embarrassed furrow of his brows. Ralsei looked at the two of them with amused bemusement.

The human stood up from the table, draining the last drops of their hot chocolate and excusing themselves with a lax goodbye to contrast Ralsei's enthusiastic one. Berdly walked ahead of them, rigid and hasty. What was up with him today? First the whole situation after their Smashing Fighters match, then that moment after the spar, and now this…

Well, they supposed that didn't matter just yet. They had a date to prepare for, after all.

[…]

For what they believed was the first time in their life, Kris was having trouble picking something to wear.

They didn't understand why their outfit felt so important in their mind. They weren't even going on a real date! What did it matter if they just wore a near-copy of the same thing they always wore?? That was just classic Kris at play! Classic Kris and their yellow-striped green sweater and dull brown pants and stupid pranks-

(Slow down, kid.) YOU sighed. (It's just a fake date.)

The thrumming of Kris's SOUL settled a little. It… was just a fake date, wasn't it? Their outfit didn't really matter. Berdly never cared about what they wore. There was no reason for him to start now. As long as they were presentable to go out with their fake boyfriend, who cared? Whooooo cared?

It wasn't like they did any skincare besides washing their face with cold water and saying “fuck it, we ball” for the first time ever. It wasn't like they'd spent painstaking amounts of time trying to properly detangle their hair and brushing their bangs out of their face ever so slightly. It wasn't like they'd put on makeup for a change, an eye-catching maroon lipstick and some black cat's-eye eyeliner.

To what end, they didn't exactly know. To look pretty, maybe? When was the last time they'd wanted to look pretty?

(…Why did that matter, exactly?)

(You feeling up to unpack why this is so important to you?) the entity asked slowly. (Over a cup of tea, mayhaps?)

‘What are you, my consciousness?’ Kris scoffed internally.

(Nope, but with the unfortunate amount of stuff I know about your inner machinations, I might as well be!)

‘Don't quit your day job.’ Kris rolled their eyes.

Eventually, their anguish over their outfit was somewhat settled - with the help of the SOUL, no less. The entity suggested they pick something they didn't typically wear, but felt comfortable in. Their options were incredibly limited, seeing as their closet mostly consisted of the exact same outfit in different fonts (which sucked, but at least Azzy's old sweaters had an amazing texture), but they finally managed to find something.

Rummaging through the wardrobe, they pulled out a long, hazel-brown plaid skirt that, to put it eloquently, went spinny when they twirled. They thought they wore it once before, but they didn't remember to what function. Church, maybe? It didn't really matter. It was long and gave them plenty of leg room, so they could just pair it with a dull green blouse and black shorts underneath for extra comfort and they would hopefully look good enough for themselves.

(Yeah. For themselves. And for no one else. Nope.)

They decided to return to the bathroom and tie the back of their hair into a very small braid. It hadn't grown much since the last time they cut it, so it couldn't be as long as they wanted. It was certainly a struggle; their mother wasn't home at that moment (she'd gone for a drink with Sans, most likely), so they had no one to help them braid, or to give them pointers on their outfit. Besides YOU, of course, but the entity's opinion seldom ever mattered to them.

Finished with their pre-date preparations, they made their way to the door, trying to calm the deep-seated anxiousness within them. When they opened it, they almost instinctively wanted to close it again because oh Angel above Berdly was right fucking there already.

Kris's eyes widened, face heating up inexplicably. What was he doing here?! They'd agreed to meet at QC's! …Hadn't they??

The bluebird was facing away from the door, seemingly whispering and mumbling to himself while his talons scratched the ground anxiously. He was wearing a soft-looking dark gray, wide-collared turtleneck and a white dress shirt over it, paired with brown shorts and black leg warmer-type fabric on his legs that vaguely resembled thigh-highs, which covered the base of his feet, but not his talons.

Kris could only catch bits and pieces of his external monologue, seeing as he either wildly varied between volume levels or spoke so quickly they couldn't properly make out the words. They strained their ears to listen as best as they could.

“Okay, calm down, calm down, Berdly… no big deal… just taking Kris out… went to… home… they'll be impressed, surely…! Just have to… keep it to myself…”

Something within the human softened at what they were eavesdropping on. Was he… really that nervous over their fake date? That was… kinda really nice to think about. To think he wanted to impress them…

(Go get 'im, tiger!) YOU whispered (even though there was absolutely zero need to do so, seeing as only Kris could hear the voice), the presence gradually dissipating afterwards.

As soon as the entity's presence was entirely gone, Kris started slowly approaching Berdly from behind, taking care to avoid their boots making too much sound on their porch. Their Stealth stat was as good as ever, because he was none the wiser to their approach, still muttering and fidgeting. When they decided they'd gotten close enough, they reached out with a finger, unable to fight back a mischievous smile.

“Boop.” they chirped as they poked Berdly on the back of his neck.

The bluebird squawked, feathers fluffing up, and his head swiveled around the full one-eighty degrees, his eyes narrowing into an annoyed glare after he recovered from the startle.

“Kris, you hooligan!” he snapped. “What is your obsession with catching me… off… guard…”

Berdly trailed off into silence, eyes slowly opening wide as he just… open-mouth stared. Looked Kris up and down at a snail's pace, completely and utterly awestruck. His pupils had noticeably shrunk into tiny dots among the greenish-yellow of his irises, and his breathing had gone so quiet it was like he'd stopped altogether, beak ever so slightly open in silent wonder. 

The human bunched up the fabric of their skirt and looked away, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. “So are you just gonna keep sta-”

“You're beautiful.”

Kris's breath caught in their throat, cheeks heating up. The way he'd said that, quiet and breathless like he hadn't even intended for it to be heard by anyone but himself, had their stomach infested with swarms upon swarms of butterflies, ribcage so tight with emotion they were finding it extremely difficult to just breathe.

…What the hell was wrong with them?

Berdly quickly caught his mistake, face flaring up with a vivid blush. His head swiveled around again, facing directly away from them as he attempted, in vain, to hide his fluster and undo what he'd just said.

“I-I mean-” he yelped. “Beautifully inadequate! What, did your mother dress you, Dreemurr?! Those colors d-do not go together in the slightest!”

Kris laughed under their breath, the softest little sound. They usually never laughed quite like this, all gentle and affectionate and shit. It was a little embarrassing, only made even more embarrassing by the fact that the one who had caused this was Berdly.

“You look handsome too, Berdly.” they replied honestly. The words nearly caught in their throat, as if they were nervous to just say them.

The bluebird's head turned right back around, beak pursed in a ridiculous way and eyes as wide as dinner plates. To his credit, he recovered rather quickly, forcing a wavering, prideful smirk onto his beak.

“O-of course I do!” he stammered between awkward huff-laughs. “Only the best for m'theydy!”

Kris smiled at his antics, a vague feeling of affection bubbling in their chest. That stupid-ass nickname almost sounded endearing now. There was definitely something in the air that was making them think stupid things. Or maybe it was the fact that they were going on a real fake date.

“Anyways!” the bluebird coughed into his wing, tail flicking behind him as he rotated the rest of his body to fully face Kris. “Apologies for disregarding our meeting place, Kris. I just thought, er- W-well, truthfully, I…” he swallowed dryly, eyes fixed on the ground. “I wanted to be a gentleman and pick you up from your house…?”

Kris's SOUL skipped a beat. Briefly, they wanted to blend it on the highest setting for making them feel so insanely flustered.

“How chivalrous of you.” they chuckled. “'Preesh. Even though it caught me off guard.”

Berdly nodded quickly, a smile fighting its way onto his beak. His face was a really dark shade of blue, and his feathers were still fluffed up, some sticking at odd angles.

“You look, um… truly stunning, by the way.” he added, fiddling with his wings. “Disregard my previous fumble, it's just… I've never seen you quite like this, and I didn't really know what to say or do.”

Kris huffed out a soft laugh, their SOUL speeding up at the bluebird's admission. They were surprised he was able to say that without trying to mask it under fifteen layers of Smug Superiority™. A testament to his growth, they supposed.

“Gotta commit to the bit, right?” they suggested weakly.

“…Yeah.” Berdly agreed, but his tone was distant and he wasn't looking at them, brows lightly creased.

Kris walked up so that the two of them stood side by side. Before they could overthink it, they linked their hand with his wing, having to make a physical effort to be normal once they realized how unbelievably soft it was. His feathers were already insanely soft before - what in the fucking hell had he done to make them even softer…?!

The bluebird chirped in surprise, eyes darting down to their linked hands like he was looking at an integral he just couldn't solve.

“Kr- Wh- Y-you're holding…” Berdly swallowed, voice cracking in three separate places. “My wing…?”

“Mhm.” Kris hummed, losing the battle against the urge to run their thumb through the plumage and fisting their skirt with their free hand to try to contain their enthusiasm at how fucking smooth it was.

“Wh-why…?” their fake boyfriend was clearly struggling to rationalize it in his head - or struggling to act casual in the face of Kris's moving thumb.

“Wanna.” they offered one of the most lackluster explanations they'd ever given for anything.

“…Alright.” he cheeped quietly, tail flicking behind him. “M-me t- Er. I'm not. Opposed. Let's get going.”

Kris nodded in agreement, thoughts still lingering on the bluebird for whatever reason. Berdly really did look handsome, and now that they were close to him they could tell he smelled like pine and cedarwood and good things and all of those factors combined were making them feel very unwise. It was a good thing the walk to QC's, filled with comfortable silence while the two enjoyed each other's presence, was as short as it was. They feared more time walking alone with Berdly would have made them do something stupid sooner or later.

The bell at the entrance jingled when Kris pushed the door open, guiding Berdly inside with them. The bluebird had suddenly gotten strangely fidgety, finger-feathers twitching in Kris's hold, but still fully unwilling to let go of their hand.

“Nervous?” Kris murmured to him.

This seemed to make everything worse, because Berdly fluffed up and the fidgeting increased. Hm. Maybe they shouldn't have murmured it so close to his ear.

“Me? Nervous?” Berdly laughed under his breath as if his voice hadn't cracked in every syllable. “What a ridiculous concept. I am the least nervous person that has ever existed right now.”

Kris snickered a little, squeezing his wing and watching him squirm.

“'S just a silly little date.” they reminded him. “I'll order if you're not feeling up to it.”

“I am more than capable of ordering for both of us.” Berdly replied quickly. “Do not let my demeanor fool you into thinking otherwise.”

“Let's each order our own food and call it even.” Kris bumped their shoulder with Berdly's, smiling softly.

And so they ordered their food - pancakes with a chocolate syrup drizzle for Kris, and, funnily enough, a plain omelet with salt and pepper for Berdly. It seemed that they had, unfortunately, caught Catti right at the end of her shift. Well, unfortunate for her, seeing as she not only had to deal with her family - and Jockington??? - cheering her on as she worked, but also with the mess of a couple that was Krispy Chicken (a name which Kris had come up with on the spot).

(Kris had also started absentmindedly whistling the song Berdly had whistled when he'd cooked for them at his house while the two waited for their food, leading to the bluebird's playful teasing and the human's subsequent fluster, but those were just details.)

Their food came before Berdly got to act too smug. Catti looked pained as she handed them their plates, dismayed beyond belief to be spotted around so many embarrassments. Kris genuinely felt a little bad for her. That must be awkward as fuck.

“…have a good date.” she muttered, eyes glued to the empty tray in her paws.

Berdly nodded, blushing furiously. The word “date” had clearly made him too nervous for proper sentences. “Y-you t-”

Kris quickly grabbed the bluebird's beak and snapped it shut, preventing him from embarrassing both himself and their mutual classmate even further. Grateful for the escape opportunity, Catti speedwalked away and left them to their meal.

“Thank you so much.” Berdly breathed in inordinate relief once the human had finally freed his beak from their clutches.

‘What are very real partners for?’ Kris signed playfully, grabbing their cutlery and preparing to dig in.

Their meal was eaten in silence, simply enjoying each other's company as they ate. Berdly seemed unsure about where to go afterwards, which gave Kris the perfect opportunity to lace their fingers with his feathers (which they hadn't been itching to do since they'd let go) and lead him to one of their favorite hangout spots, one they'd seldom brought people over to - the lakeshore near their father's flower shop.

On the way, the bluebird would occasionally turn to the side and scratch his shoulder with his beak. That had been the third or so time he'd done that since the start of their date. Was it a nervous tic Kris wasn't aware of? Why had it only manifested now, of all times?

They arrived shortly after - Hometown was a small little town, after all. As they settled down, Kris noticed Berdly had twisted his neck around again, beak burrowing into the turtleneck's collar and scratching under it this time. It didn't seem like a tic. He looked like he was… itchy?

“Something wrong?” they prompted. 

Berdly immediately turned to them again, shoulder twitching where he'd been scratching it.

“Er, nothing.” he replied quickly, looking away.

He rolled his shoulder forward, tilting his head a little towards said shoulder. Kris fought the urge to reach out and scratch his itch themselves.

“You look itchy.” they pointed out.

“It's nothing.” the bluebird repeated snippily, but he looked antsy, fidgeting the more he wasn't trying to scratch the itch. “…S-stop looking at me.”

The human snickered a little, adjusting their legs to face him a little better.

“C'mon, just tell me what's up.” they poked. “I'm sure it's not that embarrassing.”

Berdly was silent for a few moments, before sighing deeply in frustration, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Fine.” he hissed, stubbornly looking down at his legs. “If you must know, I… I think I missed some pin feathers during my preparatory preen for our outing.”

“Really? That's it?” Kris fought back another laugh, putting a fist up to their mouth. “Dude c'mon. That's like… the bird equivalent of forgetting to brush your hair after getting ready to go out. It happens.”

“Not even close.” Berdly rolled his eyes, still embarrassed. “It's hard to get them with my digit feathers, and my beak can't reach all the places.”

“Well, you're in luck!” they crooned, smirking self-assuredly. “It just so happens your marvelous and lovely fake partner conveniently has hands!”

Berdly raised an eyebrow, seeming genuinely confused. “And that matters because…?”

Kris deflated a little, suddenly feeling awkward. They looked down at the ground, praying the warmth in their face wasn't a blush.

“Dude, stop playing dumb.” they mumbled, their tone much more shy than they'd hoped. “It doesn't suit you.”

Berdly remained silent for a bit longer. Kris chanced a look at him, finding him fixing them with narrowed eyes, thoughtful. Wait, was he actually…??

“Berdly?” they asked, furrowing their brows.

“Quiet.” he snapped. “I'm trying to figure out what your deal is.”

He sounded serious. Kris nearly gaped. Holy shit. He was genuinely oblivious to their suggestion.

“Ohhhhhhh my god…” they sighed dismally under their breath, burying their face in their hands. “I'm offering to help you preen, dumbass.”

Berdly's eyes widened significantly, feathers fluffing out in a way that made him look rounder than he actually was. He tried to hide his surprise, forcing his feathers to lie flat and looking away with an awkward smile.

“Ah. Yes. Of course. I-I knew that.” he stammered. Kris could practically see him sweat. “I knew exactly what you meant. Definitely.”

“Mhm.” they hummed teasingly, leaning a bit closer to Berdly and relishing in the way his feathers began to fluff up again. “Which is why you didn't reply to my question at all, and are continuing to do so.”

The bluebird looked even further away, swiveling his neck back to do so. Amusingly, the darker color of his cheeks almost reached the back of his head.

“I was avoiding it on purpose.”

“That doesn't make you look better.”

“Fine.” Berdly hissed. “Will telling you that your advances completely flew over my head make you shut up?”

Kris grinned widely, a teasing look that made their fake boyfriend grit his nonexistent teeth. “Absolutely.”

Silence. Berdly coughed into his wing, the blush on his cheeks still going strong. Kris fiddled with their skirt, looking down, cheeks gradually warming. When had they ever felt this flustered…?

“So, um…” they prompted again, cursing how incredibly awkward they sounded. “Do you want me to or not?”

“I. Uh.” Berdly's voice was approaching a squawk. “I don't- I don't know?”

Kris turned to look at him, bemused. He met their eyes for only a split second before looking down himself.

“You don't know.” they parroted.

“Well, i-it's just-” he stammered, fidgeting with his wings. Once in a while, he'd try to scratch the itch in his neck with his shoulder again. “This sort of thing, it's-”

Kris let out a strangely frustrated huff. “Look, if it's that embarrassing for you, you can just-”

“N-no! That's not it!” Berdly squawked immediately. “It's just, w-well… It's typically reserved for, er…”

The bluebird fluffed up a little, feathers sticking in all directions at random. It made him look like a well-loved plushie. Something within Kris wanted to find out if he felt like one, too.

“Other people.” he finished through a clenched beak. “With… different relationships to me.”

Kris's SOUL skipped a beat. Then another. They were worried it'd skip a third one, but thankfully it resumed its regular thrumming soon enough. Maybe a bit faster than usual.

“People with different relationships to him”? What the hell did he mean by that?? They thought helping him with pin feathers was as much of a friend activity as it could be! W-was it actually…?!

“So no fake partners, then?” they teased, surprised and very glad that their voice didn't waver.

Berdly pointedly looked away, a fierce blush painting his cheeks. He looked like he was psyching himself up to say whatever he was about to say.

“…I can make an exception.” he murmured.

“Oh?” Kris raised an eyebrow, leaning even closer to the bluebird, until their shoulders brushed. “I get exceptions now?”

“Just this once!” Berdly snapped immediately, blushing so brightly it had spread through his entire face. “Rejoice in this opportunity! You won't get it again!”

The human laughed softly at his over the top reaction. They really liked when he did that, the vocal inflection he got when he was acting pompous.

“You're silly.” they murmured, their tone taking an affectionate lilt it was most definitely not supposed to take.

“Just get on with it.” Berdly snapped, but there was no bite to it.

“Alright.” Kris crossed their legs loosely, smoothing out their skirt over them. “Put your head on my lap.”

Berdly gaped, eyes wide and brows furrowed.

“Wh- HUH?!” he screeched, incredibly embarrassed.

“How else am I supposed to reach them properly?” Kris asked innocently.

“That- Wh- I'm sure there's several other ways to do that!” he scoffed, sounding a bit delirious. His voice cracked at a couple of words. It was more endearing than Kris was willing to admit.

The human grinned widely, very much enjoying his reaction. “Are you chicken?”

Berdly snapped his eyes to theirs, narrowing them into a glare. His beak scrunched in distaste.

“Fuck you.” he spat, bristling.

Kris barked out a laugh. Berdly always tried really hard to be an exemplary kid, but no teenager was able to resist the calling of a curse word for too long.

“Knew you had one of those in you.” they teased.

“Be quiet.” Berdly replied, already adjusting himself and settling his head on Kris's lap, the blue of his face considerably darker.

Kris wasted no time. As soon as he was comfortable, clearly trying not to think too hard about how his head was currently laying on his devious rival's lap, they reached their hands out to his crest feathers and ran their fingers through them gently. The bluebird's expression softened considerably, and he hummed a little bit, eyelids drooping ever so slightly.

“Aw, look at you.” the human cooed playfully. “I barely even did anything, and you're already melting.”

They expected Berdly to snap back, to let out a disdainful comment about how it wasn't like that, baka. They'd even expected just a general grumble of annoyance, a refusal to admit to anything they said to him.

They did not expect this.

“…Little to the left…”

Butterflies swarmed the human's stomach, their eyes widening just as Berdly's closed. His voice had become… normal. Completely free of the usual overdramatic inflection he so dearly loved to use. They had complicated feelings about that.

Dutifully, they moved to the left, fingers coursing through the soft plumage until they found something pointier. Parting the feathers around it, they could see a new feather protected by a keratin layer. They squished it between their fingers to break it, smoothing the feather out afterwards.

“Mm, thanks…” Berdly sighed. “Keep going.”

Kris's SOUL should not be hammering this aggressively in their chest. It simply shouldn't. It was absolutely fucking ridiculous how much they enjoyed the way Berdly had almost completely relaxed on their lap, breathing evenly as they helped him with his feathers. This shouldn't be something that flustered them. They shouldn't be this affected.

(…Why were they this affected?)

They kept up their pseudo-preening and pin feather-breaking, breath hitching in an absolutely ridiculous fashion whenever Berdly voiced his approval, so quietly that it was almost inaudible. Before long, they could no longer find any pin feathers on his head. Not that they'd found many of them anyways - Berdly was really good at taking care of himself. Every day, the “annoying unwashed gamer” stereotype was subverted by him. They nearly snickered out loud at their thoughts.

The human took their hands back slower than they'd be willing to admit, letting the tips of their fingers drag over Berdly's plumage. His eyebrows creased just a little bit. He began opening his eyes slowly, looking sort of disappointed, before Kris started parsing the feathers at the base of his jaw and his eyes instantly opened as wide as they could go, gaze fixed on Kris's.

“You got any down here?” they asked quietly.

“Y-yeah, I…” Berdly attempted to scratch his neck with his shoulder almost as if by instinct. “I think so.”

Kris brushed over his turtleneck, feeling him flinch under them. “Mind if I…?”

“Mhm, nope, totally fine, go ahead.” he replied quickly, craning his neck immediately as he pointedly averted his gaze. He was starting to act a bit more like the Berdly they knew, but it was still a little strange to hear him talk, well… in an un-Berdly-like fashion.

(They kinda missed his smarmy, exaggerated tone of voice.)

Kris pulled the loose turtleneck out of the way relatively easily and began combing through the feathers again, feeling for keratin layers and breaking any they found between their fingers. Every time they combed the feathers just right, they could see marks under the skin, bruised spots where the color darkened, a reminder of the night they'd spent at Berdly's house.

A dark kind of possessiveness welled up within them, absolutely delighted at the fact that they were the reason behind the countless hickeys scattered all over the bluebird's neck. Them and no one else. No one else had seen him like that. No one else had marked him like that. That was Kris's conquest, and theirs alone.

(Inexplicably, the thought of anyone else doing such things with Berdly made bile rise to their throat. They felt like a fucking hypocrite.)

As they went further down in search of pin feathers, their fingers brushed over a familiar, extremely enticing area of his plumage, only for a brief moment. Thoughts unwillingly filled their head, thoughts of shaky breaths and quiet pleas and gazes of pure unfiltered want. A familiar feeling settled in the pit of their stomach, SOUL racing.

They pushed the thoughts back with a metaphorical fencing sword. They were helping him with his preening. Nothing more, nothing less. It was a perfectly normal activity-

(-if you don't count Berdly's reaction insinuating that it was reserved for parents and life partners-)

-and all they were doing was helping a bro out with his molting, in the exact same way they'd help Susie with stuck shed on her back every couple of months. As a dutiful friend would. Just friendly friend things that didn't make Kris think about one of the hottest moments of their entire life.

(The urge to brush over his chest fluff again was hard to fight, but they succeeded. They didn't want to make him uncomfortable.)

“Y'know, I haven't really found all that many pin feathers.” they mused, totally not as a distraction for themselves.

Berdly let out a questioning hum. At some point, his eyes had fallen shut again, and there was a quiet, yet perceptible rumble coming from his throat. When they tried to connect the sound to something else they'd heard, the closest match they could find was a purr. They bit back a snicker. How silly.

A smirk overcame the human's features at the opportunity they were given. They used their proximity for malicious intent, slowly gliding the fingers that had previously been searching for pin feathers on the bluebird's neck so that they were placed on his cheek and the palm of their hand was pressed under his beak in an affectionate hold.

Almost immediately, Berdly's eyes shot open, his face turning a completely different shade of blue entirely. His contracted pupils flickered around, desperate for a safe place to latch onto- wait, did his gaze sweep over their…?!

“You preen so well, bluebird.” they crooned in an almost singsong tone. Their hand slid over so that their fingers were grazing the back of his neck lightly. “Even these hard to reach places… You're so diligent.”

Berdly exhaled a shaky breath, his previous serenity completely shattering as he poofed up a ridiculous amount. Hah. They were right. He did flush a lot at praise.

“K-Kris…??” he choked out, visibly confused and even more flustered. He fidgeted in place like he was trying to decide whether he wanted to move away from their touch or not. “Wh-what is the meaning of this…?”

“What?” the human drawled playfully, their hand staying right where it was. “It's just a compliment. Can't handle a compliment?”

“…S-stop teasing.” Berdly snapped halfheartedly, gaze stubbornly glued to the view in front of them rather than Kris's face. “Y-you're- Ugh- Don't say things like that, you scoundrel.”

Kris chuckled a little under their breath. Damn it all. Why was this so endearing? Berdly wasn't supposed to be endearing!

“Aw, you like to be praised?” they teased him playfully. They ran their thumb over the bottom of Berdly's beak, watching as it parted in surprise and he let out a choked noise. “You like to be told you're doing such a good job?”

Berdly downright chirruped, whining a little as he - seemingly unwillingly - leaned into Kris's touch, pressing against their hand. He screwed his eyes shut, clenching his beak as if that would have done anything.

“Kris.” he'd clearly meant for that to sound stern, like a warning, but it had come out as a drawn-out, embarrassed whine. The human giggled as he furrowed his brows in dismay, pulling up a wing and spreading the feathers out in front of his face.

Kris allowed an endeared smile to blossom across their face. He looked sorta cute, all blushy and fluffed up like that, face practically glowing with color as he feebly tried to hide it behind his wing.

No, not sorta cute. Really cute. The kind of cute whose cheeks you'd pinch. The kind of cute you couldn't stop looking at, for fear it would no longer be there once you took your eyes off of it.

(The kind of cute you wanted to pepper with feather-light kisses and-)

Kris quickly stopped thinking about the kind of cute Berdly was.

“So like… Catti and Jockington, huh?” they blurted out inexplicably, feeling their palms getting sweatier. “What's, uh… What's their deal?”

They resisted the urge to bash their head into a tree until they passed out. They also resisted the follow-up urge to swan dive into the lake and either swim towards the horizon or lifelessly sink to the bottom where they would hopefully drown forever and never have to face Berdly again. The latter was harder to push back against.

The bluebird removed himself from Kris's hold and slowly stood up to face them properly, raising an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?”

“Y'know.” the human pointedly looked away, gripping their skirt for dear life. “They're always together, and he was, like… cheering her on with her family at QC's today. In a more lowkey way, I guess.”

“I suppose I understand where you're coming from.” Berdly took the bait. Oh thank the Angel Berdly took the bait. “I mean, just the other day, they went to the Librarby and Catti was sort of wearing Jockington like a scarf while they talked.”

Kris muffled a snort. “For real??”

The bluebird laughed along with them. “I don't think either of them expected me to be working at that time. Catti seemed quite flustered.”

“What, like you get when I touch your face?” Kris teased.

Berdly's feathers fluffed up. He looked away, tapping his wing feathers on his lap. Kris couldn't help but snicker a little.

“Silence, Third Place.”

“But yeah, they have got to have something going on.” the human continued. “Susie says they're doing that thing when you've known a person for so long and you're so close to them that you just start doing weird shit with and around them, but I think there's more to it than that. Plus, it's not like she's the romance expert anyways, heh.”

Oddly enough, Berdly visibly reacted to the mention of Susie, cheek feathers rising a little and beak clenching. He looked away rather shyly before slowly parting his beak to speak.

“Say, Kris…”

Kris turned to him to show that they were listening. His eyes flitted over to them briefly, before he looked away again, flushing.

“Do you… like Susie?”

The suddenness of such a hesitant, out of nowhere question, coming from Berdly of all people, had Kris diverting their full attention to the bluebird next to them. They'd almost forgotten how weird he got whenever they brought up Susie. They supposed this explained it.

“Well, yeah.” they said simply, fighting back a cheeky smile. “She's my best friend.”

“You know I didn't mean it like that.” Berdly grumbled.

Kris snorted, looking away from Berdly to stare at the vastness of the lake instead.

“Well, it's complicated.” they said. “Susie and I, we don't like each other the same way she and Noelle like each other. It goes far beyond that, and at the same time… not really?”

“Oh, so it's like… a queerplatonic relationship?” Berdly asked uncertainly. “Platonic in a way that transcends conventional standards, yet not romantic in the same way that society views as typical?”

“Huh.” Kris mused, pleasantly surprised. “I didn't think you knew that term.”

Berdly scooted closer to them. They pretended not to notice. “I know more things than you're even aware of, Dreemurr.”

Kris shoved at the bluebird, giggling a little under their breath. They didn't have to look at him to sense the smug, yet playful curve of his beak.

“But yeah, we're in a QPR.” they explained. “Noelle knows, obviously. She's perfectly fine with it.”

Berdly fidgeted with his wings, looking down at his lap thoughtfully. His tail swished slowly over the dirt.

“So you're not… a lesbian, then?” he asked hesitantly, refusing to meet their gaze.

Kris snorted under their breath, flicking him in the forehead. They bit back a laugh at the way he blinked and the plumage of his cheeks fluffed up.

“Dude, why would I agree to fake-date you if I was a lesbian? Susie and Noelle would've caught the ruse immediately.” they caught the bluebird in a headlock and ruffled the feathers in his head, lingering maybe a little too long as they felt how soft they were. “C'mon. Put that noggin to good use.”

Berdly struggled out of their hold, scoffing, but he had an endeared expression on his face.

“My vast brain cavity is always being put to good use.” he huffed, a small smile dancing on his beak. “Bold of you to assume otherwise.”

“Vast, you say?” Kris smirked. “D'you think I'd hear an echo if I yelled from inside it?”

To their surprise, instead of poofing up and getting mad, Berdly snorted, muffling the sound with his wing. They liked it almost as much as the expected reaction.

“Watch your tone, or I'm putting an “ex” behind “partner” in the next few minutes!” the bluebird teased, still snickering.

(He hadn't said “fake partner”. Kris didn't know why their brain lingered on that.)

“Try me, bird boy!” they cackled, punching his shoulder lightly. “I'll fuck up the order of your figurine collection, since you don't have a car whose tires I can slash!”

Berdly gasped, appalled, but there was still a massive smile on his face. “You wouldn't dare!”

“Oh, I would!” Kris grinned widely, leaning closer to their fake boyfriend. “Say goodbye to your precious organization if you break up with me!”

Berdly pushed them away, barely managing to contain the little amused cackles he was letting out more and more frequently, eyes crinkling with how widely he was smiling. Cackles evolved into chuckles, which in turn evolved into giggles, and then…

…Then he started laughing. Hysterically, practically doubling over, in a way they'd never seen him laugh.

It was… entrancing.

Berdly had an objectively ugly laugh. It was high-pitched, screechy, like the grating caw of a crow, intermittent with kettle-like wheezy breaths when he found something particularly funny. Ridiculous and obnoxious and nerdy, just like the bluebird himself.

And yet, Kris's cheeks flushed, their SOUL stuttering in the butterfly nest that had become of their chest. In that moment, they wanted nothing more than to grab Berdly by his dumb-looking turtleneck and silence that stupidly adorable crowing with a kiss to his beak.

And then he'd chirp in surprise, and maybe - hopefully(???) - reciprocate, and he'd make that weird noise that sounded like the bird version of a cat's purr while he kissed them back, and they'd pull him close to comb through his feathers, and all the while he'd have no idea his face was about to get covered in maroon marks like Kris had laid claim to him and…

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

They needed to punch something. They needed to throw a big rock off the overpass, or get Susie to throw them off the overpass, or literally anything at all. As long as it got them to stop thinking stupid shit like that and didn't involve any property damage (Angel knew they'd gotten an earful from their mom that one time they got tangled in the Holidays' light display), they needed to do it.

Genuinely, what the hell was wrong with them. Why were they so… excited at the prospect?? Were they genuinely fantasizing about making out with Berdly by the fucking lake during their fake date??? Covering him in lipstick kisses like they were in a romcom???? What kind of cringy, lovey-dovey bullshit was that?! And towards Berdly?! BERDLY?????

“Kris?” the aforementioned birdbrain called out hesitantly, slowly coming down from the high of laughing so hard. “Everything… alright?”

Ordinarily, Kris wouldn't have been caught off guard, much less jump in place due to that, but Berdly managed it this time. The human turned to look at him, further (metaphorically) bashing their skull in at the realization that they'd been staring intently at a patch of dirt while thinking about kissing Berdly that entire time.

Suddenly, the entity's demonic possession-induced ability to suppress their emotions and turn them into an empty husk of a person didn't seem so unappealing. But only for a split-second, until they realized how asinine that thought was.

Kris waved Berdly off, rapidly averting their eyes. They couldn't let him see them so… affected? Was that the right word? Kris didn't know what was going on anymore. The world had clearly flipped on its head, if they were getting this flustered over the most obnoxious person they knew.

Ugh. Why'd his feathers have to look so unbearably pretty in the amber light of the sunset? Cheesus, they needed to kill someone as soon as possible. This was not okay.

At the very least, that last embarrassing thought was the slightest bit helpful to Kris. They jumped to their feet, maybe a little too quickly.

“Shit.” they cursed under their breath. “I just noticed how late it is. My mom's probably already home. We gotta wrap this up.”

Berdly stared at them, bewildered, before also getting up, brushing dust out of his shorts. He looked a little disappointed.

“Ah- Right, it's, er… it's gotten quite late, hasn't it?” he stammered.

Kris stared off in the general direction of the sunset. “Yeah.”

Neither of them made a move to leave. Berdly inched ever so slightly closer to Kris, eyes glued to his wings.

“If it's of any importance to you…” he mumbled, fidgeting. “I had a great time.”

“Yeah?” Kris cursed the underlying hopeful tone.

“Yeah.” Berdly nodded, a little smile tugging at the corners of his beak. “I haven't had this much fun on an outing since… the festival, really.”

The mention of the festival was all it took for Kris to reminisce on the events. It had been a really nice afternoon. Embarrassing as it was to have YOU dictate their choices, the actual “hanging out with Berdly” part of it had been bearable, nay, fun. It was an afternoon well-spent, to the point that they'd even taken control back from the SOUL to give him a little princely kiss on the wing as a goodbye.

…Maybe there was a way they could make this more like the festival.

Kris took one of his fidgety wings in their hold and moved it around so that their hand was below it. Before they could really process whatever the hell they were doing, they brought said wing up to their mouth and planted a soft kiss on it, keeping their eyes on Berdly and watching as his vaguely nervous expression morphed into one of complete shock, eyes wide as saucers, his feathers bristling and his cheeks rife with color.

“Thanks for accompanying me, bluebird.” they mumbled into his wing, disgustingly soft and affectionate. “I had a good time too.”

Berdly cheeped. Kris had a sneaking suspicion he'd meant for that to be any reply at all. The warmth that enveloped their body following the bluebird's reaction was so intense they felt both like they were floating on cotton candy clouds and like they needed to bite styrofoam. Like cuteness aggression, but for a person instead of a pet.

Their actions caught up to them almost immediately. Oh my god what were they doing. Why did they do that. The realization that they'd caught feelings for Berdly of all people was already bad enough, why did they have to add whatever that was to the mix?!

Before Berdly could have time to read their expression and notice the bright red of their face (he wasn't very good at that, but you never knew), Kris turned on their heels, not even able to properly appreciate the satisfying way their skirt twirled with the movement with how insanely embarrassed at themselves they were, and marched off.

Oh, the SOUL was going to have a fucking field day with this.

[…]

“This sucks.” Kris mumbled dismally to themselves, voice muffled by the pillow they were currently laying face-first on. “This sucks bad.”

(Yeah, I know.) YOU said with a remarkable lack of intonation. The entity was acting pretty damn calm, for the bout of genuine hysteria it had seemed to experience the second it read the human's mind and understood why they were so flustered when they got home.

“I was fine not knowing this.” they continued, the mumbles gradually shifting into pained groaning. “Why did I have to find out about this.”

(There, there.) the SOUL comforted unhelpfully, hovering just to the side of Kris's peripheral. (Pretend I'm gently patting your back or something.)

“Could you try, like…” Kris began exasperatedly. “just a bit harder to act like you don't wanna say “I told you so”?”

(No can do, kiddo. This is hilarious.) YOU chirped. (You're lucky I'm not laughing at you right now. Also, I told you so.)

“There it is.” the human grunted, annoyed.

(Heyyyyy, c'mon, it's not that bad!) the entity insisted.

“It's ridiculous.” Kris hissed halfheartedly. “He's cringy. And an idiot.”

(So what?) the SOUL fully hovered in their field of view. (If you really like him, which you do, clearly, that shouldn't be a problem.)

Kris sighed, flopping sideways on their bed. “I guess it isn't. It's just… dumb. I dunno.”

YOU snickered a little. (Come on, tell auntie Nameless SOUL what's up.)

“I'm not desperate enough to use the entity possessing my fucking SOUL as my love counselor.” Kris snapped, glaring at the heart-shaped object.

(Well, the entity possessing your fucking SOUL correctly guessed it'd take about two weeks for shit to go down, so maybe you should reconsider.)

“Shut upppppppp.” the human groaned, burying their face in the pillow again. “I'm getting the spray bottle.”

(Nice try, but it's been empty since last week and you forgot to fill it back up.) the entity snarked.

Kris tightened their hold on the pillow, hoping it would suffocate them once and for all. They had no such luck.

“I hate this.” they growled, defeated. “I'm not talking to you. Begone. Go see what Ralsei is doing.”

(Heh, I'm totally gonna spy on Berdly instead.) YOU snickered.

“Whatever.” they huffed as they felt the entity's presence weakening. “Just don't read his thoughts back to me when you come back.”

(No promises!)

The entity's voice sounded farther away now, until its presence faded altogether, the SOUL that had been hovering in front of them slowly gravitating back to their chest and merging into it. Kris heaved the kind of sigh only a middle-aged man working in a factory for a living would heave and flipped around, staring at the ceiling emptily while the sky slowly darkened outside their bedroom window. Their chest was still swarming with emotion, giddy in a foreign, extremely annoying way.

They bit back an embarrassing whine of defeat. This was the best-worst day of their life. They were never going to live this crush down.

Chapter Text

Let it be known that Susie thought Berdly was a fucking hypocrite.

All that waffling about being ignored during group hangouts because she and Noelle were dating now, only for him to do the exact same thing now that it was a known fact that he and Kris were together. Where even were they now? Noelle's house was huge; for all she knew, they could be holed up anywhere! She couldn't even hear them; that's how big the house was.

Well, obviously she wasn't complaining about having some alone time to cuddle with her girlfriend, chuffing softly while the reindeer combed through her mane with her claws, but it was still annoying. If that birdbrain was going to whine about something, it'd do him good to stand by it.

“Did I tug at your mane by accident?” Noelle asked softly.

“Huh?” Susie snapped out of her thoughts, looking down at the reindeer she was currently smothering. “Nah, you're good. Why'd you ask?”

“Well, it's just that you're baring your teeth a little and you started kind of growling.” she mumbled.

“Oh, it wasn't because of you.” Susie reassured her. “Just… thinkin'.”

“'Bout what?”

“Ugh, 'bout Kris and Berdly!” Susie grumbled. “What else?!”

Noelle twirled a strand of Susie's mane around her claw absentmindedly. “What about them?”

Susie looked down at her, baffled. “What about- they've been gone for twenty fucking minutes!”

The reindeer blinked in surprise, eyes growing wider. “Wait, they have??”

“Yeah! Didn't you notice?!”

Noelle flushed, nose flashing red for a brief moment. “Well. I was kinda. Um. Focused on someone else.”

She smiled sweetly, staring at Susie with a loving gaze. The saurian felt her own face heat up, tail wagging behind her.

“Ahem!” Noelle cleared her throat, giggling awkwardly. Her nose was doing the cute glowing red thing again. “Now that I know they weren't just dozing here the whole time, I gotta know where they went! C'mon, Zee, get up!”

Susie sighed, but conceded once she saw the adorably determined look on her girlfriend's face.

“You're way too focused on this, bells.”

“It's an investigation! I'm investigating them!”

“You're investigating our mutual friends' relationship?”

“Yes! Because it's suspicious and I've never felt closer to cracking the code!”

“That's not weird at all.” Susie snarked playfully.

Noelle hmph-ed, straightening her skirt. “There's something fishy going on.”

“I thought we got our answer the last time you questioned Berdly.” Susie mumbled, putting her slippers back on and following her girlfriend around.

“Well, if he wasn't so emotionally oblivious and confusing, I would have already gotten a final answer, but-”

Her sentence was cut off by a loud off-key piano note, followed by quiet, extremely familiar raccoon-like snickering. Noelle straightened up a little, ears flicking upward.

“Guess we know where our lovebirds went.” Susie grinned.

“Kris is…” Noelle began under her breath. “playing the piano… with Berdly…?”

“Eh, I'd say they're more like tryin' to teach him than anything.” Susie joked, elbowing her girlfriend playfully.

The reindeer remained silent, deep in thought. She began slowly pacing to and fro like a fifties detective pondering a case they just couldn't crack.

“…They've never taught the piano… to anyone.” she murmured, awestruck. “They just… play, and sometimes people linger around to listen. They've actively refused to play around other people before. They don't like… feeling watched.”

A couple of melodic notes filled the air. Susie recognized them as the initial few notes for Minecrap's menu theme, shaking her head with a smile. Of course that was what the nerd bird wanted to learn how to play.

“Well. They must like him more than they dislike feeling watched, then…?” she suggested.

“…Yeah.” Noelle breathed, still blank-faced.

The same notes as before rang out, but this time they were spaced further apart and sounded brusque, hesitant, like whoever was playing them didn't trust their own skill. Right at the final three notes, another off-key one broke the melody, accompanied by soft murmuring that almost sounded like the gentlest encouragement, though Susie couldn't discern any words.

“A-are they…?” Noelle gasped out, voice approaching a whisper. “Encouraging him, too…??”

“Mmmmmyep.” Susie stared in the direction of the sound, suddenly extremely curious to see what went on over there. Her girlfriend sounded so amazed, it must be worthwhile.

“I have to see this.” Noelle decided, marching to the kitchen with soft, yet sure steps. Susie followed after her, her own steps audibly heavier despite her efforts. “I have to.”

They approached the door to the other room, strategically hiding behind the doorframe and peeking their heads through it in sync, Susie's head nestled in between Noelle's antlers. Sure enough, on the other side, they could see the two nerds sitting in front of the piano, much closer than Susie thought was optimal or necessary, thankfully facing directly away from the door. The couple's voices still sounded far away even with their proximity, which said a lot about how vast the goddamn house was.

“…Don't want to go through with… if you'll just keep…”

“C'mon, you… great…! Just…”

Noelle leaned forward a little more, taking a couple of hesitant steps into the room. Her ears flicked up, angling towards the sound of their friends' voices. Susie copied her - save for the ears part, for obvious reasons.

“Didn't take you for such a talented eavesdropper.” she teased in a hushed tone, smirking.

The reindeer blushed, waving her hoof dismissively. “Hush, you. Focus.”

Susie huffed out a small laugh, straining her hearing to focus on the conversation at the other end of the room.

“Let's start over, okay?” she heard Kris encourage, their tone soft. They shimmied on the bench, somehow pressing even closer to Berdly, like they weren't close enough already. “You were two notes away from finishing the first chord.”

Berdly hmph-ed, facing away from the human. “Fine.”

Susie furrowed her brows. That was a really weird tone to hear from Kris. Their deadpan voice rarely ever matched their emotions the odd times they spoke (unless it was for nefarious reasons), but suddenly now they were… being gentle? Almost timid, like they were holding something back? What was going on?

She looked down at her girlfriend for any aid at all. Noelle was clearly not with her at that moment, with the way she was staring at Kris and Berdly like she was seeing ghosts doing kick-ass skateboard tricks around them.

(Susie kinda wished that was the case. If she wanted to see her friends being dumb, she would have just knowingly been in the same room as them. But Noelle was really invested, and she was nothing if not supportive of her reindeer's hobbies.)

As the human had encouraged, Berdly gave it another attempt. He got about six notes in before he paused, staring down at the keys for a prolonged amount of time.

“Er, actually…” he began sheepishly, fiddling with his wing feathers. “Could you… erm… play it… again?”

Susie gawked at the display, pulling away and a little behind the doorframe in case it drew too much attention to her. Berdly, not talking like he was god king of the universe and other people were beneath him?? Not sounding like he had a stick up his ass and intended to make it everyone's problem?? Was she in an alternate timeline??

“Anything for you, birdie.” Kris crooned exaggeratedly with a flirty lilt to their tone.

Susie was almost confident she was going to be sick. She wasn't sure she was meant to hear her best friend call Berdly that in any way that wasn't mocking or teasing, and even then, such a concept would be cause for concern.

This was a disaster. A car crash, even. But the saurian couldn't take her eyes off of it. It was too attention-grabbing.

(Noelle had gone completely still at some point. Susie could still feel the warmth of her pelt and the thrum of her SOUL under her claws, though, so she was reasonably sure her girlfriend wasn't in rigor mortis.)

Kris played the piano again, their hands gliding smoothly over the keys. Susie's brain unwillingly made her focus on how Berdly's eyes were trained on her best friend's hands rather than how pretty said best friend looked while playing. Which was annoying. She'd rather be admiring Kris than being stuck losing her mind over whatever the hell kinda romcom-ish scenario was occurring. It'd been a while since she got to watch them play.

When the human pulled away, Berdly took a preparatory breath and tried again. He was a bit more confident in the way he pressed the keys now, hesitating less between them. Still, he messed up right as he was approaching the end. He scoffed in annoyance, glaring at the offending key.

“See? This lesson is going well!” Kris praised with a smile - like, a real one. “You're almost there! Literally just that last three-note section, and you'll have finished the second chord!”

Visibly glowing with the compliment, Berdly seemed confident enough for another attempt. He played the specific section he'd messed up instead of playing from the beginning, but he choked up at the end again. And again. And again. So often that Susie was starting to feel bad just watching it.

When Berdly was going for a fourth attempt, feathers fluffed in frustration, Kris slid their hands over his wings. Susie noted how the nerd bird stood up straighter. She tried to un-note it, but it was too late. Her eyes had already drifted to his flushed face, and she once again had to fight to avoid giving away their eavesdropping.

“Slow down.” the human instructed, face way too close to Berdly's for Susie's comfort. “You're letting your frustration take over you.”

Slowly, gently, as if that insufferable bluebird was made of fucking porcelain, Kris guided Berdly's wings over the piano, playing each note through him. All the while, the nerd bird didn't dare move, eyes fixed on the hands over his wings and beak hanging the slightest bit open in surprise.

“What.” Susie heard Noelle whisper tightly, the first sign of life she'd given in the past… however long it'd been. She said nothing else, and the saurian didn't feel the need to add on to it. That was, indeed, the best thing to say about whatever the fuck was happening.

Kris took their hands away and whispered something to Berdly. The nerd bird exhaled like he'd been holding his breath that whole time, before nodding resolutely and giving it another try himself, confident but careful. His feathers glided over the keys at a much faster pace, but he wasn't messing up. In fact, he'd actually played the entire segment perfectly, face lighting up with excitement even before he played the final note.

“Kris! I-I got it!” he chirped blissfully, turning to face the human. “I-”

His voice caught in his throat and he let out a strangled gasp once he saw how close Kris was to him. Somewhere deep within Susie, a Bad Feeling™ formed. Her chest tightened in vague anguish.

Berdly blinked, still staring at Kris, still not even seeming to consider moving away. The human didn't move an inch, either. The Bad Feeling™ increased.

“I did it.” he breathed, shifting on the piano bench.

“…You did.” Kris replied, just as softly. Their tone was disgustingly fond.

They were silent for a while longer, unmoving, staring into each other's eyes. It was the most direct eye contact Susie had ever seen Kris make in a situation where they weren't trying to creep out the person they were staring at. She shuddered at the realization.

Slowly, they moved their body to face Berdly more comfortably, the nerd bird mirroring the action seemingly without thinking. The human's hand came up agonizingly slowly towards Berdly's face until it buried itself in his cheek feathers, gently tilting his head to the side ever so slightly.

(Somewhere under her, Susie felt Noelle's fur stand on end as if she was facing an incoming truck on the highway and had become paralyzed with fear.)

Berdly shifted closer, wide greenish-yellow eyes flicking down to Kris's lips.

Kris did the same, wetting said lips.

Susie's mind blanked.

…Hey.

Hey, uh. Wait a minute.

Were they… leaning closer… to each other…?

…W-were they about to k-

A shrill noise like a cacophony of bird caws and bad pirate music rang out, echoing through the room and nearly startling the saurian out of her skin. Even Noelle, who had been thoroughly studying the charity case that was Berdly's attempts at playing piano so intently she'd hardly spoken or moved since she started, jumped up a little and made a high-pitched “Eep!” noise, which she instantly muffled with her hooves, terrified that she'd been heard.

Luckily, they hadn't been the only ones to get spooked. Kris and Berdly instantly jumped away from each other, cheeks burning red and dark blue respectively. Berdly fumbled with his phone, which had been placed next to him on the bench, until he finally managed to turn off his alarm with a relieved sigh.

“Ah, drat.” he tsk-ed under his breath after he'd calmed down enough to stop heaving. “It's- er… I have to go to work.”

“Oh, yeah. You clock in earlier during weekends, right?” Kris murmured. They were looking away from him, thankfully having decided to turn their head to the left rather than the right. Susie didn't have an excuse ready if she and Noelle were spotted.

“Y-yeah.” Berdly stuttered, flapping his wings lightly. “Apologies for cutting your less… um… the hangout… short.”

“S'okay.” Kris shrugged, sounding genuinely downcast at the thought. “It was nice.”

Berdly shuffled on the piano bench like he was about to leave and Noelle immediately grabbed Susie by the scruff of her jacket, moments away from pulling her back. Thankfully, the nerd bird was stopped in his tracks by something out of view. Upon craning her neck just a little, Susie could easily see the reason: Kris's hand holding onto his wing lightly, their eyes scanning his face in a way that almost seemed longing.

“Lil' cuddle for the road?” they murmured hopefully, so quietly the saurian was surprised she could hear it (take that, bells, her hearing was just fine). “Before they see?”

Susie gaped, eyes wide. Kris had never been this forward with cuddling. Whenever the two of them did so, it was always spontaneous, one nudging against the other until they ended up tangled in a mess of limbs, body heat, and poor life choices that neither wanted to crawl out of. This was completely out of character for them. This whole thing was completely out of character for them.

(Also, what did it matter if she and Noelle saw it?)

Berdly didn't move, staring back at Kris with the same weird longing the human had been fixing him with prior. Wordlessly, he collapsed into their embrace without further hesitation, burying his face in their neck and wrapping his wings around their midriff. Susie could tell the human had murmured something to him, but it was too muffled for her to understand. What she could see, though, was the way Berdly bristled at whatever it had been, replying with something equally as mumbly.

Susie was baffled. Perplexed. Stunned. Astounded. Nonplussed. Other synonyms for “surprised” that Noelle would have known, but she didn't know. This was weird. This was weird, right? It was abnormal? Strange? Odd? Insert synonym?

It was unreasonably lovey-dovey for them. That was her final verdict. At least her reindeer girlfriend seemed to be just as shocked as she was, eyes wide as saucers.

The saurian racked her brain for an answer, any answer. Maybe Kris was just… cold. Maybe they wanted to cuddle because the Holiday residence is consistently at a sixty degree temperature (it used to be forty, but thankfully, Noelle managed to convince Mrs. Holiday to raise it a little so Susie didn't narrowly avoid going into hypothermia every time she was over). That made sense, right?

She shook her head. No. She was lying to herself, making up explanations like that. Kris was human, and they were wearing a comfy sweater - if anything, they were more prepared for the Holiday Chill™ than anyone else in their friend group (besides Noelle, of course, whom Susie was pretty sure was immune to the cold in general).

There was only one true explanation for this.

Kris and Berdly had to know they were being watched.

They just had to, okay?! They had to know, because they were acting all cute and flustered at each other all of a sudden, when they hadn't been acting like that before. Why the shift? They'd been behaving consistently out of character lately, and it was driving her crazy!

…Wait, was that what Noelle's investigation had been for?? Because their relationship was weird and dumb and inconsistent?? Was that why she interrogated Berdly that one time??

Because if so, she knew what her girlfriend meant now! Why else would they look at each other like that, when they'd always been the “bickering like an old married couple” archetype, if not to show Susie and Noelle how - allegedly - in love they were?! Why else would Kris cradle that dumb bird's face and pull him in so gently, if not to…

Susie nearly gasped, tail swishing exactly once. She did it. She finally cracked the code. It was so obvious in hindsight. How could she have not known?

“Hey, bells.” she whispered (maybe a little too loudly) to Noelle, eyes narrowed. “I think Kris and Berdly are trying to fuck with us, and they're like, really bad at it.”

Noelle sighed very, very deeply. Susie didn't bother asking her why. She just assumed it was because of the way Kris was tangling themselves with Berdly to prevent him from finally getting up and leaving, a strange kind of fondness shining in their crimson eyes.

Chapter Text

It had only been three days since Kris came to the horrifying realization that they liked Berdly in a romantic way, but they had already decided that they were absolutely sick of it.

It would be stupid and corny to pull a page out of a cheesy romance novel and say they couldn't stop thinking about him, but they couldn't stop thinking about him. He was living in their mind rent free, they unironically enjoyed having an excuse to talk to him and hang out in the form of “fake dating”, and worst of all, the feeling of his feathers under their fingers had become sensory heaven for them.

And to top it all off, they were genuinely endeared by him?? As a person?? With all his weird little quirks, like the ugly way he laughed, or how he was surprisingly good at singing to a frankly annoying degree, or the fact that he instinctively smoothed out his finger-feathers whenever he got nervous or flustered, or how he always fussed over the “artistic asymmetry” of his bed nest whenever something was out of place?? Insane. Absolutely insane. That shouldn't be cute. That shouldn't make them want to kick their feet and twirl their hair like some kind of shoujo protagonist. Something was seriously wrong.

(Awww, how delightfully saccharine!) YOU cooed semi-sarcastically. (It's so nauseating, I threw up in my mouth a little!)

Never mind. The sensory heaven thing wasn't the worst part. The entity's general presence still took the cake.

Kris groaned loudly, burying their face in their pillow. Ugh, they wanted to see him so badly. This was so fucking ridiculous. The actual worst crush of their entire life. They wished this shit was voluntary.

They patted around their bed for their phone, pulling it to them and opening their DMs with Berdly on Bedlam. Just as they were about to send him an invitation, their phone buzzed with a text from the object of their affections himself.

—

nerd bird 👓🐦

—

🐦smartgenius🐦

Could you come over today?

I want to talk to you about something.

The intense, extremely embarrassing burst of happiness they felt at the fact that Berdly had asked them the same thing they were thinking of asking him faded instantly once they read the second text. That was a little ominous.

(Trouble in paradise?) YOU teased in their head.

Kris shook it off with one hand as if it were a physical entity. They typed out a reply.

—

nerd bird 👓🐦

—

🍎krizmoss🍎

yea

smth wrong?

🐦smartgenius🐦

Well, yes and no.

…I'm not sure what qualifies as “wrong”.

I just need to get it off my chest.

🍎krizmoss🍎

k

omw

Okay, now Kris was concerned. Berdly was seldom ever this noticeably down in the dumps through text. They got out of bed in a flash and put on their shoes, racing through their bedroom door in a way that would probably be embarrassing if they cared about how they looked at the moment. Their fake boyfriend turned crush was clearly bothered by something, and by the Angel, they were going right over to his house to very platonically cuddle with him and stroke his feathers as he vented about his feelings.

…Wow, they'd been kinda stupid, hadn't they? How did they not realize there had been something more behind their actions this whole time?

(I've been telling you this.) YOU huffed. (Not my fault you keep tuning me out.)

‘Just close your eyes already.’ Kris audibly groaned in frustration.

(Fine. But just because you kids deserve your privacy and I'm not that mean.) the entity conceded. Slowly, its presence faded until Kris felt physically lighter, all the unexplainable pressure and strain it left on them melting away.

Good. Now the human could divert their attention back to what mattered. They speedwalked through the kitchen and into the living room on autopilot, barely registering their surroundings with how much they were thinking about Berdly, when suddenly-

“Where do you think you are going, young one?”

Kris froze in their tracks, slow-turning to face their mildly exasperated mother and sporting an expression that was probably incredibly appropriate for the moment. Her tone wasn't as sharp as it typically was when they were in trouble, but her maroon eyes were narrowed and she was quirking an inquisitive brow, arms crossed.

“Uh.” they said intelligently. “Out.”

“Out where, honey?” the goat monster pressed.

Kris didn't reply, fidgeting with their sweater. Their mother sighed, making her way to them with soft steps and a gentle expression and placing a comforting paw on their shoulder.

“You have always been a strange child, but you've been acting especially unusual these past few days.” she commented. “Is something wrong? You know I am always here for you if you need me.”

The human opened their mouth to speak, then closed it without saying anything. How were they supposed to tell her this extremely embarrassing turn of events? How in the world does one tell their mother they and their friend/rival/????? were pretending to date as a joke and then they ended up-

“Is this about Berdly?”

If Kris had any fur, they would have definitely bristled and it would've been standing on end right about now. Their mother gave them a soft, knowing look.

“It is, is it not?” she teased lightly, lifting the paw on their shoulder to pet their head instead. “Alright, tell your mother what is wrong.”

Kris was quiet for a few extra beats, before they resigned themselves to their fate and let out a sigh that unwillingly broke off into an embarrassed whine.

“Remember when I planned that sleepover a while ago?” they began shyly, fighting to get the words out. “And I told you Berdly and I were dating?”

“Yes…?” she replied hesitantly.

“Well, um.” the human tugged at the hem of their shirt so hard they could almost feel the fabric snapping. “We weren't. That was a prank we were both in on. To trick Susie and Noelle.”

“Really?” their mother sounded surprised. “Well, you must be very good at pretending, then, because I could have sworn you…”

“I'm, um. I'm getting there.” Kris interrupted her before she could analyze their behavior pre-realization. “So we kept the ruse up since then, and two days ago, we went on a date-”

“A date?”

“Mom please let me finish this is already embarrassing enough.” Kris hissed through gritted teeth. “Yeah, we went on a date, and, well, I realized…”

The human trailed off, finding it hard to continue. Their mother nodded encouragingly, running her thumb over their temple, and they sighed at the touch. They couldn't believe they were letting their mom know about this before anyone else. The world was cruel.

“…I like him, mom.” they mumbled dismally. “Like… I actually like him, and I don't know what to do.”

The goat monster blinked slowly, taking it all in. She only seemed a little caught off guard.

“…Oh.” she murmured. “We are still talking about… Berdly, correct?”

“Mom.”

“I'm just teasing, honey.” she said breezily, a sort of mischief in her gaze. “I suppose I should have guessed. When have you ever spontaneously spent the night at someone else's house besides Noelle's?”

Kris buried their face in their hands. “This sucks.”

Their mother embraced them at once, vast and all-encompassing, yet not too tight - exactly the way they liked it. They buried their face into her soft ivory fur. It always smelled like butterscotch and cinnamon.

“It does not have to “suck”, my child.” she reminded them. “I may be an old lady, but I have had my fair share of romantic experiences, and I think… it is best if you let him know.”

“…I was going to, I think.” they mumbled into her fur. “He invited me over. Seemed upset about something.”

“Do not despair just yet, Kris.” their mother continued, now stroking their back comfortingly. “There is nothing that indicates Berdly is upset with you. Perhaps he has even come to a similar realization as you!”

Kris scoffed derisively. “Yeah, right. In Delu-land, maybe. Not in the real world.”

The goat monster couldn't help but let out a couple of giggles. She pulled away from Kris a little, paws sliding down and under their hands in a partial handhold.

“You will not know until you talk to him about it.” she insisted. “Take the opportunity you have been given. Even if he does not reciprocate, he will understand.”

Kris suddenly felt lighter, like a two ton weight had been lifted off of them. Maybe their mother was right. It wouldn't do them any good to keep this to themselves forever.

“And if he does not, I still have a copy of the recipe for that DIY bath bomb you once attempted to make.” she added in a mischievous whisper.

Kris couldn't help but snort, the noise devolving into uncontrollable snickering.

“Mom!” they squeaked, pushing her further away. The sound did not suit them in the slightest. “I am more than capable of putting a bath bomb in his toilet myself!” 

Their mother chuckled along with them, pressing a soft kiss to their forehead. Once she pulled away, she bowed her head to give them an affectionate headbutt. A little flustered, Kris returned the gesture.

“Be good, will you not?” she murmured, stroking the side of their head with a paw.

The human hummed in confirmation, nodding once. They signed ‘Love you.’, watching their mother sign it back to them, and made their way to the front door. Their hand lingered on the doorknob for a while, gripping it without turning it.

“Go get him, honey.” their mother called out reassuringly, sensing their inner turmoil. “It will all be okay.”

Kris looked back at her. She was smiling gently, paws pressed together and tufted tail-tip flicking behind her slowly. They felt their throat tighten.

“Thanks.” they mumbled, so quietly they would be surprised if the goat monster had heard it. Just to be sure she did, they signed out their reply as they said it.

They finally turned the doorknob and walked out of their house, waving a quick goodbye. Their mother was right. They could do this. And if Berdly didn't feel the same, it would be okay.

More resolutely this time, they made their way to their unfortunate crush's apartment with hurried steps.

[…]

The walk to the apartment complex was shorter than normal, mainly due to how quickly Kris had been walking. They didn't gather pebbles and aim them at Berdly's bedroom window this time - the mood was far too serious for that. Instead, they simply walked into the building and up the stairs, knocking at the door. Not even five seconds had passed before it clicked open, the bluebird of the hour standing rigidly in front of it.

Berdly looked exhausted. He already looked sort of tired a lot of the time, especially at school, but right now, it was very much amplified. His feathers were messy and shoddily preened, and there were heavier bags than normal under his greenish-yellow eyes. He wore one of his lazier “cringe gaming t-shirt and pajama pants” outfits rather than the more pristine dress shirt and turtleneck combo he would typically wear whenever he was around other people. It didn't help quell Kris's worries in the slightest.

“You're late.” he huffed, but even though he looked annoyed, there was no bite to it.

“Mom held me up.” Kris mumbled in reply. “Sorry.”

Berdly's gaze softened a little. He gestured to a spot next to the door with his talons limply.

“You can make yourself comfortable.” he mumbled. “As long as you keep your shoes at the door.”

Kris frowned, but did as he asked, taking off their shoes and following Berdly into his room, the two sitting crisscross on his nest. The lack of the usual overdramatic inflection in the bluebird's voice heightened their previous feelings.

“So… what's up?” they prompted once the two were settled. “You had me kinda worried with the way you texted.”

Berdly's feathers bristled ever so slightly, as if he was fighting against their will to fluff up. He took a deep breath, seemingly forcing himself to look at Kris as he spoke.

“I think it's about time we terminate our fake relationship.”

Kris's eyes widened, taken aback. The way they could almost feel their SOUL breaking at his words frustrated them beyond belief. Why did that feel so… impossible to them? As if they couldn't believe it would ever end?

“What?” they fought to keep their voice even. “Why?”

“It's gone on for far too long.” Berdly wasn't looking at them, eyes stubbornly glued to a pillow next to him. “It's not funny anymore.”

Something within Kris cracked hearing the dull, defeatist tone with which he said that. They fidgeted in place, unconsciously moving ever so slightly closer to the bluebird.

“What changed?” they tried to keep the hurt out of their tone, wanting to be understanding, as if Berdly wasn't unintentionally stealing the ground from under them. “What's the- Um… I thought it was going just fine.”

“Frankly, I just don't know if I can bring myself to keep pretending.” Berdly admitted with a sigh. “Something has… arisen within me. Something that I cannot get rid of, no matter how hard I try, and it's interfering with this… ruse. And it would be unhealthy for me to simply ignore it forever.”

Kris's SOUL sped up, anxiety bubbling under their skin. They couldn't bear the thought of losing whatever this was.

“W-well, can't you just…” they paused, searching for the right words. “Try to commit to the bit anyway?” those were the wrong words. “We don't have to go… that far in public, y'know? We can just…”

They silenced themselves before they could add anything else. Damn. They fucking sucked at this. They were aware they sounded desperate. They were aware they were making their extremely embarrassing true intentions clear as day. But they couldn't keep their mouth shut. They couldn't even keep the “in public” part to themselves, much less mask how they felt.

The bluebird sighed, somehow completely unaware of Kris's inner turmoil. “I'm afraid I can't. It's kind of making me…”

He inhaled shakily, clenching his beak like he couldn't bring himself to speak. Without thinking, Kris moved closer to him until they were shoulder-to-shoulder, hand hovering over his wing for a brief moment before they finally made contact, their thumb brushing over his plumage.

Berdly flinched, letting the slightest gasp pass through his beak. He began to fidget and his wings kept twitching, finger-feathers curling and uncurling, as if he was willing himself to move away.

But he didn't. Quite the opposite, in fact - he practically slumped over on top of Kris in an awkward cuddle, still not meeting their eyes. The human didn't waste a moment before fully embracing him and pulling him closer to them. They pretended not to notice the way he tilted his head to the side and pressed his cheek directly against the area of their chest where their SOUL resided.

“I feel… bad… about this pretend relationship.” he murmured.

Kris blinked, alarmed. “Wh-”

“N-not because it's you or anything!” Berdly clarified quickly, breathing out an awkward chuckle. “In fact, er… being stuck with you has been… good.”

His cheeks were tinted blue now. It was hard for Kris to see it, with the way his face rested right below their chin, but it was certainly happening.

“Maybe… too good. Amazing, really.” he breathed, tone light and almost dreamy. “It scares me.”

“Why would it scare you?” Kris asked, smoothing the feathers on his head. “Isn't that a good thing?”

“I don't know.” the bluebird sighed. “I've never…”

He trailed off, like he was struggling to speak whatever he wanted to say out loud. Kris gave him an encouraging hum, and he let out a shaky sigh before continuing.

“…I've never… felt like this before. I've never wanted to be around someone this much.” he admitted bashfully, shrinking into himself a little. “I thought I did, once upon a time. But it turned out I was kidding myself, trying to convince myself of feelings that weren't there.”

Kris's SOUL skipped a beat. Did that mean what they thought it meant, or had they finally gone insane?

“What kind of feelings…?”

“…I don't know.” he mumbled for a second time, but Kris had a sneaking suspicion that he did know.

“It's okay if you don't wanna tell me.” the human reassured him, a feeling of affection surging when Berdly hmph-ed under his breath. “You shouldn't bottle up what you feel, though. Honesty is important in a relationship. Fake or not.”

Berdly pulled away to look at them, really look at them, eyes wide and pupils smaller than usual. Kris steeled themselves, urging their voice to not fail them just yet.

“And I'm… I'm here for you, okay?” they continued, managing a shy smile. “I'll hear you out when you're ready. For now, I'm content just holding you like this.”

The bluebird stayed silent, staring at Kris like he was studying whatever facial expression they were making. All of a sudden, he furrowed his brows, eyes glinting with something like distrust, or unfamiliarity.

“Why do you keep… looking at me like that?”

Kris frowned. The way Berdly said that, so quietly, so genuinely confused, as if he couldn't fathom an explanation… it made their SOUL lurch.

“Like what?” they asked gently.

“Like…” he clenched his beak, voice tight. “Like you're happy to be around me.”

Kris smiled softly, leaning closer to place a hand over his wing and lightly squeezing it. He choked back a gasp when they brushed over the feathers.

“Because I am.” they replied, fully honestly. “And besides, I like looking at you.”

Berdly seemed bemused at the lack of a teasing lilt in their tone. For a split second, he met Kris's eyes with a look that seemed almost hopeful, before he looked away, gaze hardening into a weak glare.

“Stop it.” he snapped under his breath, but there was barely any bite to it. He mostly just sounded sad. And a little bitter. “Stop making me f-feel like I…”

He trailed off into silence, breaths shaky. The human frowned a little, taking their hand off his wing and reaching out to him. “Berdly-”

“Just…” the bluebird blinked rapidly, halfheartedly swatting their hand away. “Please stop saying things like that. I don't… It's not helping.”

Kris's frown deepened. Was that not enough to convey their true feelings on the matter? Well, they supposed not; it's not like they hadn't been doing things of that caliber for less in their fake relationship.

They leaned even closer to him, SOUL racing when they heard his breath hitch. Angel, they hoped they weren't reading this wrong.

“Berdly.” his name flowed through their lips like water.

The bluebird looked up, seeming a little flustered at the way they'd said it. Kris placed a gentle hand on his cheek, thumb sweeping over the edge of his beak as they stared unabashedly at his parted mouth. He caught on to what was happening rather quickly, pupils shrinking and breathing turning labored, a pretty shade of dark blue spreading across his cheeks.

“K-Kris…?” he stuttered. He was looking past them, eyes darting around as if trying to find bystanders that weren't there. “You- There's no one else around. Y-you don't have to…”

His sentence trailed off uselessly when Kris dropped down and settled on his lap, arms looping around his neck. The bluebird made a noise like a deflating beach ball as Kris leaned in. His eyes focused back on them, pupils so small the human could barely see them in the sea of green.

“I know.” they murmured, mere inches away from his beak. “I want to.”

They stayed like that for a while, making sure the bluebird had ample time to push them away if he didn't return the enthusiasm. He stayed perfectly still, eyes fixed on Kris's, a million questions swimming in their depths.

“Can I?” the human asked, just in case.

“Please.” Berdly whispered only a little while after, out of breath.

And who were they to deny him?

Truthfully, the kiss was just more of the same, but it felt different in the way that Kris meant it. It wasn't something they were mostly just doing for fun; they wanted to kiss Berdly in a feelings way, wanted to hear him chirp again, see what other kinds of stupid bird noises they could tear out of him. The sight of him tongue-tied over minor acts of affection was already addicting, and the way he looked after being kissed even more so. They couldn't believe they had managed to go so long without wanting to see it again.

They slid their free arm down the side of his body until their hand settled on his waist and squeezed. Instantly, Berdly let out a gasp mingled with a chirp, pulling them closer, slotting their mouths together easier with a more practiced swiftness. He'd gotten frustratingly good at reciprocating.

It was surprisingly - maybe horrifyingly - easy to kiss Berdly. Not only was he apparently a method learner, already knowing exactly what to do despite only having really done this sort of thing a couple of times before, but his beak was also strangely malleable, which they were kind of avoiding thinking about due to how many questions it raised. In any case, he definitely seemed to want it, with how much he pulled Kris to him, how hard he tried to minimize the distance between the two of them even when they were already virtually glued to each other. And in all honesty, that made them dizzier than anything else.

After a while, Kris pulled back begrudgingly, relishing a little too much in how Berdly chased after their lips once they did so. This was it. This was what they'd been subconsciously yearning to see, the sight that had inexplicably driven them to go further back when they were teasing their fake boyfriend with various acts of PDA; Berdly standing under them, breathing unevenly, feathers ruffled and glasses crooked, gazing up at them with a hazy expression plastered across his flushed face.

They dove into the bluebird's neck without much further thought, tearing a gasp out of him as they started peppering the surrounding area with feather-light kisses and gripping his waist possessively with both hands. Every sound that escaped his throat fueled the human further, going as far as to freshen up a faded hickey from the night they'd marked him at his house and feeling him shiver in their hold.

“Mine.” they growled, not even moving off Berdly's neck enough to speak properly. “Y'r mine, Berdly. No one else will get t' have you like this.”

They didn't have the clarity to smother themselves with the nearest pillow for saying something so unbelievably cringy. Luckily for them, their fake gamer boyfriend was equally as ridiculous, because his breathing shook at their words, then quickened considerably when Kris started gnawing at the spot below where his neck met his beak.

“Mm… F-fuck, Kris-” Berdly's unsteady voice, the unusual curse word slipping through his beak just like that, had Kris's SOUL going on overdrive.

They hummed questioningly, taunting him by deliberately kissing his neck slower than before, just barely grazing it with their teeth. Berdly failed to bite back a frustrated sigh, the sound coming out almost like a growl.

“Do that again.” he hissed out shakily, his breathing labored and his words tripping over each other with how quickly he was saying them. “Wh-what you were doing, the thing with the- J-just- please-”

Kris bit down just a tiny bit harder, earning a chirrup and a full-body shiver from the bluebird. Biting his neck and hearing him plead for more felt too good. It wouldn't be much longer until their brain was fully clouded with need. It probably already was, seeing as they let that stupid-ass “mine” comment slip out wholeheartedly.

YOU had unfortunately been right. So what if it was ridiculous for them to like-like Berdly? So what if he was a cringy idiot? It didn't matter. Reducing cocky, infuriating, high-and-mighty Berdly to a complete and utter mess just by marking his neck was worth all of it.

(Mostly because of how funny it was to get such reactions out of him, but also because Kris was probably enjoying themselves a little too much. Angel, they hadn't realized how much they missed marking him.)

“What is it?” they asked in a low voice, making sure to say the words right into the bluebird's skin. “What do you want?”

“You.” Berdly breathed, as if he was directly saying what was on his mind without parsing his thoughts through a filter. “I want you, Kris, just- Shut up, kiss me, mark me, make me yours, do whatever you want to me, please-”

His words trailed off into a whimper as he squirmed under their touch. Fuck. That was hot. Why was that hot?! Berdly wasn't supposed to be hot!

Kris's SOUL hammered in their chest. The way Berdly, typically so sure of himself, so focused on preserving whatever image he thought he had, had given in to them so easily, pleading with them, with such delicious desperation… it was making them feel very unwise.

They pulled away from Berdly's neck and smashed their lips against his beak, ignoring how awkward the impact was, kissing him as deeply and ferociously as their respective physiques allowed them. It was incredible: the enthusiastic reciprocation, the feeling of Berdly's light blue feathers under their fingers, the unbearably endearing chirping - it was a ridiculous thought, but Kris was fairly certain entertaining this stupid-ass fake dating thing had been one of the best decisions they'd ever made.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Kris was used to holding their breath, as their Dark World adventures and SOULless mishaps had served as immaculate lung capacity training, but Berdly, being a nerdy recluse and frankly a huge loser (which Kris meant in the most disgustingly affectionate way possible), was not so lucky. The bluebird's breathing had gradually become irregular throughout their session, until he began patting Kris repeatedly with one wing, asking them to give him space - which, obviously, they quickly did.

As soon as they moved off of him, Berdly began gulping up air like his life depended on it, face flushed and glasses askew, fogged up due to both their heightened body heats. When he was mostly breathing somewhat normally (several seconds later), he met Kris's eyes for a split second, before immediately looking away with furrowed brows like some sort of schoolgirl, perhaps one of a certain anime archetype. If only there was a name for it that wasn't stupid as fuck.

“Um.” Kris let out a shaky breath, hands trembling as they tried not to reach out to run their fingers through Berdly's infuriatingly soft plumage.

“Uh.” Berdly offered in response, equally as fidgety and still a little breathless.

The bluebird's feathers were fluffed up and sticking at odd angles (something which he was frantically attempting to fix with his wings and beak), and there was a bright, amusingly visible blush coating his cheeks. His greenish eyes, dazed and unfocused, kept flicking down to Kris's lips despite him clearly trying to look anywhere else. They hoped their face didn't show how much that simple fact was affecting them.

“You're, uh…” he swallowed, now finished with his impromptu preen and fidgeting with his wings instead. “Y-you're a really good kisser.”

Kris's eyebrows briefly shot up in surprise. Their lips quirked up. “What, no buts? You're not gonna peer-review the makeout session? Insist you had the high ground?”

As if by instinct, Berdly started preening one of his wings again.

“Ugh, shut up, you cretin.” he looked away, flustered. The words were slightly muffled by virtue of his beak being buried in his feathers. “I-I'm… I'm still recovering. Rest assured, I will be back to normal soon.”

“Good.” Kris smiled. “I like that guy.”

Berdly's pupils shrunk. His tail swished on the bed for a couple seconds before he seemed to realize it was doing it and forced it to stop. He slowly leaned back on a bundle of pillows, outstretching a wing on the ones behind him.

“So.” he tried, totally chill and casual as if he hadn't been quite literally begging for Kris's lips just a few minutes ago. “Care to explain what… that was?”

“Thought it was obvious.” Kris felt their face heat up, tugging at the fabric of their sweater. “I like you. Unfortunately.”

Berdly might as well have erupted into flames with how bright the skin under his feathers became. The sight filled Kris with such a strong feeling of endearment that they wanted to break something due to how fucking embarrassing that was.

“Kris, y-you…” he looked around wildly, like he thought it was a joke, like someone was going to pop out with a camera any minute now. “You're not… I-is this…?”

“Angel above, Noelle was not kidding when she said you were oblivious on purpose.” Kris let out a soft little laugh, placing a hand over Berdly's wing. The bluebird relaxed ever so slightly at the touch, but he still looked apprehensive. “Yes, I meant that in a romantic way. Do I need to spell it out for you?”

They resisted the urge to spell ‘I MEANT THAT ROMANTICALLY’ letter by letter in ASL. Mostly because Berdly was shrinking into himself, deliberately looking away from the human with narrowed eyes.

“You're not serious.” he stated. He spoke scornfully, almost like a challenge, like he was begging Kris to debate him on it, to prove him wrong. “N-nice try, though. You, er… Y-your smooth-talking really had me going there.”

Kris's eyes widened, their SOUL dropping to their stomach.

“Why?” they tried to keep the bafflement out of their tone. “Why am I not serious?”

Berdly huffed out a frustrated breath, as if he was annoyed he had to elaborate because it was just that obvious. He furrowed his brows at Kris, a genuinely pitiful look in his eyes.

“Because there's no reason for you to be!” he replied matter-of-factly, tone derisive in a self-deprecating manner. “I-I mean, why would anyone ever want to…”

He trailed off, looking down at himself self-consciously. Kris stared at him for a good ten seconds, mouth agape. They took their hand off of his wing to place both hands on his shoulders, squeezing.

“Berdly.” they said seriously. “We just made out. What do you think that means.”

Berdly scoffed, but Kris didn't miss the blush that settled across his cheeks at the reminder. “Please. We've been doing this song and dance for nearly two weeks now. Like I said, y-you almost got me, but… I have prevailed over your trickery. J-just give up already.”

Kris couldn't believe this. There was simply no way. That birdbrain couldn't be serious. People were physically incapable of being this dense, even ones in the same situation as the two of them.

“Berdly.” they repeated, a little more forceful, but still soft. “We made out. Right after a conversation about how our fake relationship was emotionally affecting you. We didn't cuddle. We didn't give each other a little peck. My tongue was in your mouth. I bit your neck and you begged me for more. That's not a silly goofy prank. That's some gay shit.”

Berdly said nothing. Though he still looked intensely flustered, his beak tensed and his eyes shone with emotion.

“I go really far for the sake of pranking people, but not this far.” Kris assured. Their grip on the bluebird's shoulders loosened into a gentle stroke. “Is… Is your self-esteem really that low…?”

The bluebird didn't answer. He simply sighed, falling onto Kris and nuzzling into the crook of their neck. After a while of embracing each other in silence, Berdly spoke.

“People don't tend to… like me. In general, and especially not… in this way.” his voice was small, so unlike him that it squeezed around Kris's SOUL like a vice grip. “I kind of assumed… you didn't, either. Believing otherwise was merely wishful thinking.”

“Well,” Kris began, their deadpan voice doing them absolutely zero favors in helping them convey how they truly felt. “you sorta push people away with that over-exaggerated smart boy persona. But you don't have to be smart or act high and mighty for people to think you're cool.” they ran a hand through Berdly's feathers. “I think you're cool, for one. As crazy as that is.”

“Golly gee, thanks.” Berdly snarked, deflating on top of Kris with a sigh. “…I don't want to. Act high and mighty, that is. At least most of the time. And, well…”

He snapped his beak shut, seemingly unwilling to continue. Kris gave him an encouraging nod, scratching his feathers with their fingers. They nearly melted when Berdly leaned further into their touch.

“…When you were holding me close and comforting me like that, I was thinking… ‘You're not this mean. Please don't be this mean’.” he admitted, just as quietly as when he'd started. “And then, you, um… you asked if you could k-kiss me, and I didn't have the self-respect to deny you. Because I'm selfish. Because I wanted it way too much, even if it was the last time I'd ever be able to enjoy it. B-because…”

The bluebird trailed off with an embarrassed huff. Kris broke the keratin layer around a pin feather they found while combing through the back of the bluebird's head, which he visibly relaxed at.

“Go on.” they prompted gently.

“…I want to be with you.” Berdly sounded more resolute now, though his voice still wavered.

Kris smiled cheekily. “You're already with me. I'm right here.”

“Romantically.” Berdly snapped exasperatedly, all hints of hesitation now gone as he stared the human down through narrowed eyes. “I mean it romantically.”

Kris huffed in amusement despite themselves, their cheeky smile growing. “You're a gay-mer for me, then?”

“I am a gamer who has feelings for you, yes.” Berdly finally admitted, even though he sounded like he was forcibly pulling the words out of his throat. “Unfortunately.”

Kris let out a laugh, putting a hand over their mouth to muffle it.

“Well, let's be unfortunate together, then.” they murmured, squeezing his wing with one hand and leaning in for a quick peck.

Berdly pushed them away with his free wing before they could reach his cheek, pupils contracted and feathers ruffled, a small, genuine smile dancing on his beak. Kris was maybe still a little bit horrified to find that they very much wanted to kiss that beak again.

“That was far too corny. Even for me.” he huffed, but his goofy smile didn't waver.

“Don't lie, birdie, you ate that shit up.” Kris snickered.

Berdly's smile widened. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kristen.”

“Not my name.”

They were silent for a while, lingering next to each other, simply enjoying each other's presence. Kris tried not to think too hard about how much they wanted to kiss Berdly, to pull all of those soft little chirps out of him again, to reassure him their feelings for him weren't a sick joke, while the entity taking over their SOUL was busy somewhere else. One look at the bluebird told them he wanted Kris to do that as well.

“Okay.” Berdly breathed, flapping his wings lightly. “Okay. Um. Now that we've come to a consensus. Shall we. Um. Resume our prior engagement?”

Without missing a beat, Kris slid a hand over Berdly's cheek and ran their fingers over the feathers. They felt them spread out, fighting back a fond chuckle as Berdly shivered. They were so close.

“Yeah.” they replied simply.

Kris tilted the bluebird's head to the side, eager to get back into the swing of things, but he interrupted them before they closed the gap between their mouths and they couldn't fight back a frustrated grumble in time. Thankfully (and maybe surprisingly), Berdly paid no mind to it.

“Actually, pause for a second-” though visibly flustered and antsy, the bluebird had a wobbly smile plastered across his beak and was chuckling under his breath. That couldn't be good. “Wh-what was that about me being yours, dear?”

Kris made a tch noise, ignoring the warmth of their cheeks - and also the way their SOUL skipped several beats at the pet name that they now knew was being used in a romantic way.

“Don't act like you weren't melting into a puddle over that, you absolute geek.” they scoffed.

They silenced Berdly with their lips before he could ugly-laugh for too long.

[…]

Berdly had long since lost count of how long the two of them had stayed there, just holding each other, kissing and giggling like a couple of fools. He didn't care even a little bit. All the warmth, all the attention, the soft murmurings - it was addicting. He'd be content in staying like this forever, embraced by Kris in his nest as he counted and recounted all the freckles on their face.

(He kept losing count and starting over. His partner's crimson eyes and the quirk of their lips were far too distracting.)

“Take a picture.” Kris teased quietly, wrapping their legs around his waist for more stability. “It'll last longer.”

“Hm, I don't think I will.” Berdly mused, a soft smile etched on his face. “I'd rather look at the real thing.”

Kris's eyes widened marginally under their bangs. Their face took on an adorable reddish color.

“Smooth.” they chuckled, combing through Berdly's crest feathers to distract from how effective his flirting had been. “Since when are you such a charmer?”

“Since I began dating my beautiful gamer they/them.” the bluebird replied easily.

The human let out a laugh, though they looked like they didn't want to. They clung a bit tighter to Berdly like a koala, sighing contentedly.

“…How did we get here?” they murmured, a lilt of surprise in their tone.

Berdly smirked. “I live here, and I believe you walked.”

His partner released their koala grip briefly to shove at him, sticking their tongue out. “Shut up, nerd. You know what I mean.”

The bluebird giggled. It was great to be able to even the playing field when it came to teasing.

“This was quite the rollercoaster, to be fair.” he agreed. “If you, uh- don't mind me asking… how did you… know?”

Kris was silent for a little while. Their face gradually reddened until it was a different color entirely.

“Well, uh.” their eyes dropped to their sweater. “Remember that… totally fake date we had the other day?”

Berdly giggled airily, the recollection of the outing making him giddy. “I think it's physically impossible for me to forget.”

“Well, there was that one time I made a stupid joke about rearranging your figurines, and you just…” a longing smile made its way to Kris's face. “You started laughing so hard, and it was dumb, and the joke was dumb, and your laugh was dumb, and the date was dumb, but… I really, really wanted to kiss you. In a feelings way. Not, like, just because.”

“Even the worst parts of me are irresistible, eh?” Berdly teased, pretending like that hadn't been one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to him and he wasn't five seconds away from combusting and watching his dust float away in the nonexistent wind.

“Shut it.” the human snapped, physically shutting his beak with three fingers. “Like your answer is any less embarrassing.”

The bluebird looked away. “…Happened the very same day, actually.”

Kris's eyes widened. “For real?”

“It was during our spar, after your swift victory.” he explained. “You were pointing your blade at me, keeping me on the ground, and I'd never wanted you to kiss me so badly.”

“So you're telling me it wasn't the whole “touching your chest fluff” thing that you told me not to mention again?” his partner cackled affectionately, before their face split apart in a wide, disbelieving grin. “Wait, is that why you asked to kiss me after?”

As if by instinct, Berdly immediately pretended to preen.

“…I was hoping to use overexposure to get rid of the feelings.” he mumbled into his wing. “It didn't work.”

Kris broke into a fit of giggles, sounding more and more like a raccoon every time they took a sharp intake of air. Berdly bristled, embarrassed.

“Goddamn idiot!” they cackled, but they said the insult like the most saccharine of pet names. “What, did you also think me telling you you were mine today was a totally platonic “heat of the moment” sort of thing before we talked about it?” they snarked, brow raised playfully.

Berdly's SOUL raced in his chest when he heard that word leave their lips, his mind helpfully transporting him right back to the event where it had occurred. Embarrassingly enough, he had thought exactly that. Probably. If he was being truthful, whatever thoughts he'd had had turned into background noise for the duration of that entire ordeal.

“Of course not.” he lied, ignoring the burning warmth of his cheeks and Kris's teasing hum of disbelief.

They stayed in silence for a while longer, Kris combing through Berdly's feathers and Berdly doing the same with their hair, twirling a strand around his index feather absentmindedly.

“But you know…” he piped up again. “…I truly do think I liked you romantically before that. Before the ruse, even.”

“Wow, no shit, really?” Kris gasped, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I would have never guessed.”

“Hmph.” Berdly huffed, feeling hot under his feathers. “I doubt you can say that for yourself.”

“No, I can, actually.” the human mumbled, suddenly seeming shy. “I think I may have started liking you since the house party, at the very least.”

“Ha, ha. I'm sure.” Berdly rolled his eyes. “You don't need to lie to make me feel better.”

“No, I'm serious.” they insisted. “I think it was just, like… a subconscious thing. 'Cause I was super mad when I overheard Snowy and MK say that shit about you.”

Berdly looked down at his wing feathers. “Any regular friend would be.”

“And would a regular friend circumvent that by straddling their fake partner's lap and cuddling them?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “To “prove a point”, whatever the hell that point was? C'mon.”

Berdly opened his beak to speak, then closed it again. “…Touché.”

Kris huffed out a laugh and clung to Berdly once again, ear pressed to his chest as they mindlessly ran their fingers over each and every feather on Berdly's wings. Hopefully they wouldn't comment on how erratically his SOUL was beating.

“…You're so gentle with me.” he murmured. He hadn't meant for that to sound so surprised. Or for it to be an outside thought, really. Angel, he was a mess.

His partner's touch softened even further. Berdly couldn't muffle a trill of delight in time. He pointedly ignored their quiet snort of amusement.

“Where did this come from?” they asked.

Well. He supposed it was better to just fess up and accept that they were having this conversation.

“There's this annoying part of my brain that keeps telling me I don't deserve it.” he admitted shamefully. “I can never find a way to disagree with it.”

“Of course you deserve it, pretty bird.” Kris insisted.

Before Berdly could recover from the absolutely debilitating effect “pretty bird” had on him and his thundering SOUL, Kris swiftly leaned in and pressed a languid kiss to the middle of his neck, right around the area where his voicebox would be. His breath hitched.

“You sing so well…”

They kissed further up his neck, lingering on the smooth, soft plumage of his cheek while they combed the other one with their fingers. Berdly firmly believed he was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

“And you take such good care of yourself…”

Their trail of kisses continued all throughout Berdly's beak until their lips met the tip. This time, the kiss was ravenous, much more intense than the soft little pecks they'd been leaving all across his face. Berdly's SOUL hammered in his chest as he reciprocated earnestly, failing to muffle quiet chirps of satisfaction. He found it hard to care, seeing as his partner wasn't making any attempt to hide their enjoyment, either.

They pulled back soon, too soon, breathless and woozy and with the softest look of deep infatuation Berdly had ever seen on them. It made it considerably harder for him to think straight.

“And of course, you're a great kisser.” they finished, before slumping down on Berdly's shoulder. “How could you not deserve good things that come to you?”

The bluebird chirruped, still struggling to control his heavy breathing. “I actually despise you.”

Kris laughed into his neck, nuzzling right into the place they knew he was ticklish in and making his body contort with the sensation.

“Maybe if you weren't making all those cute little bird noises, I would try to believe you.” they teased. Berdly could feel the vibrations of their voice on his skin.

Before he could say anything in return, his partner tensed up suddenly, lifting themselves from his neck and sitting a bit straighter like a meerkat. Berdly shot them a quizzical look.

“Oh, the entity's back.” they groaned in annoyance.

Berdly blinked, alarmed. “The what.”

“The entity?” they repeated, raising a brow. “The thing in my SOUL that used to control me and dictate most of my actions and is now my consciousness's really annoying roommate?”

Berdly pursed his beak, eyes wide. “…I thought you'd gotten rid of it??”

“Yeah, me too, but it's still here, unfortunately.” Kris grumbled, rolling their eyes. “It's just way less of a hassle than it used to be, so I never brought it up.”

His partner went silent and stared at the ceiling, occasionally shifting between expressions of annoyance or boredom, like they were on a phone call invisible and inaudible to everyone else but them.

“Okay, crisis averted.” they said after a while. “It's gone again.”

“…Have I ever told you how odd you are?” Berdly asked, a little rhetorically.

Kris smiled, leaning in to place a kiss in the corner of his beak. Even now that their relationship was genuine, he couldn't help the fluster he felt.

“Good thing I love to hear you say it, bluebird.” they crooned.

[…]

Kris ended up staying the night. Not that Berdly minded in the slightest, of course. The decision was welcomed. Very welcomed.

Chapter Text

Berdly woke up with a pep in his step, going through his morning preen in a laid-back fashion with all the precision of a runway model. Today was the day. His and Kris's one week anniversary of real dating. And the day he was going to let their mutual friends know about his and his partner's genius deception during their group brunch.

Kris had already texted him to let him know they were picking him up. He tried not to swoon at the chivalry, but ever since he had fully accepted his feelings and the two started dating, holding them back had become harder and harder, to the point that it was now physically challenging for the bluebird to avoid blurting out the ruse whenever he hung out with Noelle.

It was strange to think about how little had really changed between their second week of fake dating and their first week of real dating. They were already acting like an old married couple before, seeing as apparently they both harbored subconscious feelings for each other. The only difference was the way they were both hiding under a veil of denial, using the artifice of their relationship as a fallback to avoid confronting their very real feelings.

(Berdly got both annoyed and deeply embarrassed every time he thought about it. He and Kris would have gotten together so much earlier if he wasn't such an utter coward.)

A very specific knock pattern at his door snapped him out of his thoughts, and he smiled affectionately. He already recognized that manner of knocking, so he swiftly opened the door to see the lovely partner he'd been awaiting. They smiled brightly at him, such an unusual gesture reserved for their happiest moments. It stole the breath right out of Berdly's lungs, the way they were dressed acting as their smile's dastardly partner in crime.

They were wearing the showstopping hazel skirt they'd worn for the “fake” date, though with an unfortunate lack of that maroon lipstick he'd obsessively stared at for disproportionate amounts of time when it had lingered on the back of his wing after said outing (he supposed it made sense - they were going out for brunch, after all. It would be a waste to smudge something so pretty). Berdly couldn't stop the erratic acceleration of his SOUL and the excited swish of his tail behind him at the sight. How in the world had he managed to woo such a beautiful partner?

Without further thought, he walked into Kris's arms in a very literal fashion, burying himself in their warm embrace and spreading his wings across their back in the all-encompassing way he knew they liked. They tightened their arms around his neck, chuckling softly.

“Missed me that badly?” they teased, their mumbly, slightly raspy voice making his SOUL soar. “It's been like, a day since we last hung out, birdie.”

“Shut up.” Berdly replied, nuzzling into their neck and relishing in the warmth of their skin. His partner squirmed under him, shaking with barely contained giggles.

“Your beak tickles.” they squeaked. Berdly continued his attack without hesitation, forcing their laughter to increase in volume, until they'd gotten sick of all the nuzzling and pushed him away playfully.

(He knew Kris wasn't actually sick of the nuzzling itself. Hugs simply felt constraining to them if they lasted too long. Berdly didn't get an exception just because he was their boyfriend now; physical discomfort didn't make exceptions, and he was just fine with that.)

Berdly released the human, wings lingering on their midriff despite himself. He really liked that specific point of contact - though he loved it even more so when the roles were reversed and Kris's hands were latched firmly onto his waist, kneading the area between their fingers in a truly maddening manner.

…Especially when it was accompanied by sharp breaths and rough bites to his neck and soft murmurings of you're so quiet, pretty bird, don't be afraid to sing-

He willed himself not to go too deep into his reminiscence, finally dropping the hold on Kris's waist to help vanquish the hormonal thoughts. There were more pressing matters at hand, and he was nothing if not efficient. He could daydream about that some other time.

“What are you holding there?” he asked, staring at his partner's balled fist.

Kris opened their hand like a clam presenting a pearl, revealing a small, smooth black pebble with a white stripe pattern, which they gently placed on Berdly's wing.

‘Pretty pebble for pretty bird.’ they signed with a cheeky, affectionate smile.

Berdly felt himself blush wildly, feathers fluffing up. He was still not at all used to such forward gift giving, but at the very least, he knew they were intentionally courting him now. The thought never failed to make him giddy.

“Thank you, dear.” he chuckled, averting his eyes as if hoping that Kris wouldn't see how flustered he was if he wasn't looking at them. He analyzed the pebble more thoroughly, noting how the black color dulled into a gray near the thin white stripes. “This is a very unique pattern.”

‘Zebra.’ Kris signed.

“It does look like zebra stripes.” he mused in agreement. “Though its colors would have to be swapped for more accuracy.”

‘Zebras are black with white stripes.’ they snarked in ASL, somehow.

Berdly furrowed his brows. “…No they aren't.”

Kris nodded. Berdly bristled.

“They aren't.” he repeated, narrowing his eyes. “Do not think you can gaslight me more effectively now that we're dating, Dreemurr.”

His partner rolled their eyes, sticking their tongue out at him. ‘Look it up.’

(A quick Encyclomedia search proved him wrong rather quickly.)

“…Ugh. Perhaps you were right. For once.” he admitted begrudgingly. Kris chittered like a raccoon. It was, unfortunately, endearing enough for Berdly to disregard their spat completely and move on to a different, more relevant topic.

“Anyway! Today is the day!” Berdly chirped enthusiastically, definitely not as a distraction. “We're going to tell them! How do you feel?”

Kris stared at him silently, face inexpressive but eyes glimmering with affection.

“Like I really, really want to kiss you.” they said, brutally honest.

Even a week into their relationship, the bluebird couldn't stop himself from blushing, SOUL soaring at the confession. Damn. They were not helping keep down his wandering thoughts from earlier. He had to remain focused.

“Oh, please, my dear, there's no need to be so direct!” he scoffed good-humoredly, waving a wing in fluster. He was strong and independent and could avoid falling for his partner's wiles. “We are both well aware of how badly you desire me.”

His partner made a tch noise under their breath, before moving in to press a light kiss to his beak. Then another. And another. Effortlessly chaining little kisses together like a Smashing Fighters zero to death combo. Berdly felt lightheaded.

“Noisy.” they mumbled between kisses, but the complaint had a metric ton of endearment behind it. “Shut up.”

The human kept peppering Berdly with kisses, in spite of the bluebird's halfhearted protests of not being on time for their meeting. He couldn't bring himself to shove them off, though. Not when he felt so incredibly giddy at all their attention and his resolve was subliming away into nothing like dry ice.

“Kriiiiiiiiis.” he whined, muffled between their lips, yet he still made no move to push them away. How could he? They were annoyingly good at being distracting. “Come on, dearest. You know I hate to be late, and besides, I'd never hear the end of it from Susie.”

Begrudgingly, Kris pulled back, leaving one last peck above the tip of his beak as if they were pecking his nonexistent nose.

“Fine.” they rolled their eyes, but they were smiling. “For you, pretty bird, I will be on time.”

Berdly flushed. He was beginning to think that was their new favorite pet name for him, maybe in part due to the way he reacted when it was used. Kris had always loved getting a reaction out of him, even before the shenanigans that led them to become a couple. It would be foolish to think it would stop now.

(He was immensely glad it hadn't stopped. Heavens above, he really did love seeing their amused expression and hearing their melodic laugh after successfully getting under his skin, even back then.)

Berdly placed the patterned pebble they'd given him on his shelf of keepsakes, next to a myriad of other pebbles with varying colors and patterns as well as a singular bluebird plush from their festival outing, and followed them out of his room, unable to prevent the way he skipped enthusiastically out the door like an utter fool.

Snowy had been right about one thing all that time ago at the party; Berdly was absolutely whipped for his partner, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

[…]

Noelle had a good morning. A great morning, in fact. Her mother hadn't given her any grief over her dating Susie yet, her antlers didn't scrape the headboard as she woke up, and most importantly, she was going to have brunch with her friends and girlfriend at QC's. She was up and ready to tackle her day with enthusiasm for once. Not even thinking about the mess that was Kris and Berdly's “relationship” was gonna bring her down. Or thinking about the fact that it had been well over three weeks and their shenanigans were still ongoing. Or thinking about how often the two had been around each other, how openly affectionate they were.

(How Berdly no longer flinched or stuttered when his and Kris's relationship was put into question.)

Yep, nope, that did not affect her one bit. She was fully confident there was nothing that could catch her off guard today.

The reindeer made her way through her front door and outside the gates, smoothing her skirt one last time before meeting up with Susie further ahead. She would've liked her girlfriend to come meet her at the gates, but she wasn't about to test her mother's patience. This much tolerance of Susie's general existence and of the fact that she and Noelle were dating was already unprecedented enough.

Susie bounded over excitedly as soon as she spotted her, tail wagging behind her. Before she could react, the saurian wrapped her arms around her and lifted her into the air in a tight hug, hooking one arm under her legs swiftly to shift her into a bridal carry. Noelle giggled in between squeals of surprise and delight, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck. She was still not quite used to Susie picking her up so effortlessly, but she would be lying if she said she didn't love it.

“Morning, bells.” Susie murmured as they embraced, nipping her cheek lightly as a playful, affectionate gesture. Noelle turned her cheek so she could give the saurian a light peck on the muzzle. “Ready to deal with those idiots being fake-lovey again?”

Noelle tried not to look too dismayed at the reminder of what exactly she was about to power through. Susie had concluded that Kris and Berdly's relationship was fake at about the same time Noelle came to the realization that the two of them had indeed caught genuine romantic feelings for each other, so there was a bit of an odd split between their perspectives now. She didn't have the heart to tell her girlfriend that she'd come to the wrong conclusion. Or, she supposed, it was technically the right one, but a little too late.

“Don't remind me.” she sighed, leaning her back on Susie's arm. “I love them, but if I have to see them act like that one more time, I might finally lose it.”

Susie cackled, slowly setting Noelle back down. The reindeer almost wanted to ask her to princess-carry her all the way to QC's, a feat she knew the saurian was more than capable of, but that would be a ridiculous request. And it would make her a massive hypocrite. Berdly would never let it go.

“Right?” Susie grinned. “Like, we see the ruse, dumbasses. You ain't fooling us into thinking you like-like each other anymore!”

(Noelle chose not to comment. It was a really hard decision to make.)

The walk to QC's was short and sweet, the two walking with interlocked arms the whole way. Noelle loved clinging to Susie like that, or when she clung to her in turn. It made her feel more grounded, reminded her that this was real. That she really was dating her handsome girlfriend.

And it also prevented her eyes from bulging out of her sockets at the sight in front of the door to the restaurant.

Kris and Berdly had arrived before them. This wasn't very surprising; Berdly was incredibly diligent and had a very particular routine that required him to wake up early, and that routine must have rubbed off on Kris a little, because they'd been waking up way before midday lately (though not as early as Berdly, which, y'know, extremely reasonable). What was surprising, though, was the way the two were standing by the door.

Berdly's wing feathers were intertwined with Kris's fingers, their arms so close together their shoulders were almost touching. They were looking at each other with a specific fondness that was somewhat startling, talking to each other like they were the only two people in the entire world. The way Berdly's eyes sparkled unabashedly and the visible smile on Kris's face were nearly vertigo-inducing.

(She couldn't help but wonder if they viewed this outing as a double date in their wishful thoughts. The idea made her giggle in her head, even if a little dismally.)

“Hey nerds!” Susie yelled out to them, shattering the moment. “You plannin' to stop sucking face anytime soon?!”

The two lovebirds turned to look at Susie, Berdly looking more flustered than Noelle had seen him in the past week. Kris unlaced their fingers from Berdly's wing, letting them linger over the individual feathers as they pulled away, then walked over to Susie with a little grin on their face.

They hooked an arm around Susie's neck in a loose headlock, standing on their tiptoes to do so, and reached over to the saurian's face to bite her cheek playfully (though, to Noelle, it looked like they'd used the entirety of their bite strength for it). Susie didn't flinch at all, sending them a toothy grin and returning the gesture once they let go. Noelle noted the saurian had bitten them a little harder than she'd bit Noelle, though not enough to draw blood.

Berdly rolled his eyes so intensely it was like the action had somehow made a noise of exasperation itself.

“Our partners are such hassles, aren't they?” he sighed dreamily.

“Wouldn't trade it for the world.” Noelle replied, for once not thinking about whatever the hell the bluebird's relationship to Kris was and simply enjoying the ridiculous displays of affection between Susie and her queerplatonic partner.

The four of them made their way back to the entrance of QC's. Berdly picked up his pace and began walking a couple of steps ahead to open the door suavely, gesturing inside with his free wing.

“Ladies.” he said with a flourish and a chivalrous smile.

Noelle entered the restaurant at his insistence, thoroughly confused. It wasn't like that was out of character for him, he'd definitely done such things before (and even if he hadn't, Noelle wouldn't put it past him), but it was still strange. Looking at Susie, she saw her confusion reflected in her girlfriend's furrowed brow as she followed her inside.

Kris, naturally, did not walk in. Instead, they walked up to Berdly, who left his post and switched places with them so that they were the one holding the door open.

‘Berdly.’ they spelled out in sign language, mimicking the bluebird's previous flourish afterwards.

Berdly put a wing to his chest, giving them an overdramatically affectionate look, and walked in as well, before Kris followed the rest of their friends inside and let the door fall closed behind them.

Gosh. Noelle had to give it to them, that was actually pretty cute. Since when did the two of them do such silly, weirdly adorable things? What had happened in the past week that made them so comfortable in their “fake relationship”? Had this progressed into a “didn't know they were dating” situation??

“What overcompensators.” Susie grumbled, rolling her eyes, but even she looked endeared at the oddly cute gesture.

They all took their seats at a table in the back of the diner, right next to a window. In the back of her mind, she noted that the table they'd sat at was unnervingly similar to the one at ICE-E'S that fateful day, and the order they were sitting in was the same, Kris and Susie sitting by the window with Berdly and Noelle next to them respectively. She was hit with a hefty wave of déjà vu, which she managed to shake off.

The brunch itself went relatively normally, if you disregarded how close Kris and Berdly sat and how they'd often share cutesy looks that they had definitely not shared all those weeks ago, back when they first let Susie and Noelle know about their “relationship”. Things had certainly shifted, but no one was willing to point it out, simply conversing as if nothing was off, as if Kris and Berdly weren't acting like they were on their honeymoon phase and one step away from literally feeding each other their respective food.

Noelle bit back a scoff. It was as sickening as it was cute. She briefly remembered the fateful outing at ICE-E's, where Berdly had gotten annoyed that Noelle and Susie were disregarding the conversation to fawn over each other. How the turntables.

“-and that, my dear friends, is why I believe the newest Dragon Blazers V trailer is attempting to hint at a deeper relationship between the Rogue and the Knight!” Berdly finished proudly.

Noelle blinked out of her trance. She'd somehow missed an entire speculative conversation about the next Dragon Blazers release. She blanched, both in disappointment and surprise. What was wrong with her?

“No way!” Susie scoffed, waving a paw. “All the Rogue does is piss off the Knight to get a reaction out of him! They're probably not even friends!”

‘Disagree.’ Kris signed. ‘Could be a sign of affection.’

“Of course you would say that.” the saurian rolled her eyes. “Don't you find the Rogue super relatable?”

“I think Berdly's right, actually.” Noelle interjected. “It makes a lot more sense for the Rogue to be teasing the Knight specifically because they're friends and that's the way their bond works, especially since they're known for being a trickster in general. Plus, the Knight seems to enjoy teasing them back.”

“You too, bells??” Susie gasped dramatically, looking down at where the reindeer's head rested on her upper arm. “Damn. Always the ones closest to you, huh?”

“Come on, is it not clear that there's some rivals to lovers going on in there?” Berdly insisted, not very discreetly shooting Kris an affectionate look. “At the very least from the Knight's side.”

Kris rolled their eyes, equally as affectionate. Having known them for so long, Noelle understood them well enough to know that they were currently deciding whether or not to step on his talons.

“Oh, I'm glad you're speaking of rivals to lovers.” Susie's mouth twisted into a grin with vaguely malicious intent as she fixed her eyes on Berdly specifically. “How's your rivals to lovers going, huh?”

Noelle perked up, straightening up on her seat so rigidly she'd practically become a straight line. Was it time? Were they finally having this conversation? Angel above. She wasn't sure she was ready. Should she close her eyes and count to ten?

Berdly's feathers fluffed up a little. It was still the most caught off guard the reindeer had seen him in the past week when the topic of their relationship was brought up.

“Jealous of my immaculate love life, Susan?” the bluebird raised a cocky eyebrow, smirking widely. He looked extremely punchable. Noelle felt bad for having that internal thought, but only briefly.

Thankfully, Kris did indeed punch him, though it was probably lighter than he deserved. Berdly turned to look at them, scoffing good-humoredly.

‘Don't be a dick.’ they signed. ‘Valid question.’

“Fine, fine.” Berdly waved a wing. “We have something to confess, fellow friends.”

“Oh, yeah?” Noelle leaned over the table, drawing out each word. She hoped she didn't look mildly insane. “Pray tell, what is it?”

Berdly stood up from his chair slowly, dramatically. Kris stared at him with heart-eyes. Noelle tried not to be horrified at that. She failed.

He spread his wings wide, Kris bending their head further down to avoid the feathers tickling the back of their neck.

“Our relationship…” Berdly projected his voice loud enough for the table to hear, but not so loud that he was embarrassing himself. “was a ruse. Fake dating, if you will.”

Susie gasped, her jaw lingering open for a while in shock - probably at the fact that Berdly had admitted it. Noelle just feigned surprise. She didn't particularly care if it was convincing or not, but she did notice Kris eyeing her playfully.

“Oh wow I can't believe it.” she recited, deadpan. Berdly faltered ever so slightly, but he attempted to puff up his feathers further to hide it.

“Hah!” Susie cackled, slamming her open paw on the table. “Gotcha, bitches! I've always-”

“Until a week ago.” Berdly added smugly. “Because we came to the conclusion we held deeper feelings for each other and began actually dating.”

He sat back down primly. The saurian promptly snapped her mouth shut, staring him down. Fruitlessly, Noelle attempted to stop a smile from growing across her face like a weed on the sidewalk, SOUL racing with exhilaration.

Silence.

Stunned, debilitating silence.

And then Noelle made a low, strangled sort of noise she didn't know she could make. And she had to fight every bone in her body to not start laughing maniacally.

She was right. She was right! She was right all along! Ever since that sleepover, only two days after Kris and Berdly's admission of dating, she had been on the right track! Angel, this felt so much better than that one time she predicted the DBIV side plot purely by overanalyzing the five pieces of dialogue DBIII had provided about it. And that had been a crazy feat itself!

“I knew it!” she damn near screeched, digging her hooves into the tablecloth as she fought the urge to reach over the table, grab Berdly by his shoulders, and shake him around like a flimsy ragdoll. “I knew that was what you were hiding! You can't fool me!”

“Y-yeah, uh, me too.” Susie blurted out, nodding quickly. “For sure.”

Noelle sent Kris and Berdly a look that she hoped conveyed that Susie did not, in fact, know that. Kris gave the saurian a fond yet exasperated look. Berdly, bless his SOUL, was still not good enough at reading people's facial expressions to be able to understand.

“Hmph.” the bluebird genuinely looked a little dejected that their dumb little fake date wasn't as effective with her as he'd expected. She wouldn't lie, it was a little endearing. “I suppose the ruse would have worked better with different people. You know us too well, dear Noelle.”

“Wait, hold on-” the reindeer shook her head, suddenly remembering a crucial detail. “A week ago?! Were you actually bluffing about the…?!”

“Er, no.” Berdly tilted his head slightly, confused. “I'm not very good at bluffing, Noelle. I thought you knew that?”

Noelle's jaw dropped.

“WHAT?!?!?!” she screeched.

Immediately, she got a mouthful of feathers as Berdly stretched across the table and muffled her, looking around wildly with a flushed face.

“Not so loud!” he hissed through his clenched beak.

“They were giving you hickeys when you weren't in an actual relationship??????” Noelle whisper-shouted, jaw aching from how hard she was trying not to yell out into the restaurant.

Kris snorted, shoulders shaking with their muffled laughter.

‘We're stupid.’ they signed simply, turning to look at Berdly with the warmest expression Noelle had seen on them.

“Speak for yourself, m'theydy.” Berdly snickered. “I am a genius amongst plebeians.”

‘Being smart doesn't stop you from being a dumbass.’ Kris retorted, smiling.

“You guys are freaks.” Susie said simply, clearly still trying to process what was happening. “Freaks.”

‘Freaks in love~’ Kris signed loosely, smiling like an absolute lovestruck fool.

Berdly whacked them on the head with a wing in a playful manner, smiling softly.

“Sap.” he murmured under his breath. He had likely only intended for that to be heard by Kris, but he'd always been a bad whisperer.

‘Birdbrain.’ Kris retaliated.

Berdly's eyes narrowed as his smile widened. Angel, he looked so enamored. Noelle would have found it cute, if it wasn't in the process of giving her diabetes secondhand.

(Susie remained silent, staring at her half-finished plate. Noelle thought she looked fine, besides the unusual lack of eating, so there was nothing to worry about.)

“Dolt.”

‘Loser.’

“Bonehead.”

‘Cornball.’

“Dullard.”

‘Cutie.’

Berdly flushed at the change in “insults” (and at Kris's flirty expression), but quickly recovered, smirking gleefully.

“Sugar.”

‘Honeypie.’

“Sweetheart.”

‘Pretty bird.’

“Oh my god.” Susie whispered dismally next to Noelle, eyes wide and horrified. The reindeer gave her an unenthusiastic pat on the back. “This is a nightmare. This is an actual nightmare and I'm never gonna wake up from it.”

“Welcome to my world.” Noelle replied with a sigh. “Your turn to deal with it now.”

“They're gonna be terrible.” her girlfriend continued in the same hushed tone, voice tinted with fear. “They're gonna be worse than us.”

“I know, love.” she consoled her in a solemn tone of acceptance, petting her mane gently as if to soothe her. “I know.”

“They'll be so annoying, bells.” the saurian muffled into her paws after she buried her snout in them. “How is anyone s’posed to, like, live with this?”

“Yeah.”

“And we're their respective best friends!” she hissed, sounding closer to an emotional breakdown every time. “Hell, I'm in a QPR with the least annoying of those idiots! We're gonna deal with it front and center!”

“Yeah.” Noelle repeated, now combing through her mane with her claws. She was lucky enough to have already gone through the five stages of grief, with her having figured out the “deeper feelings” stuff early and all. It was only a matter of time before her girlfriend's turn.

“I want out.” Susie finished with the drained tone of an office worker after a long nine to five. “This is the worst timeline. I'mma ask Ralsei how to kickstart the Roaring next time I see her.”

She went silent again, staring down emptily as she slowly assimilated all the information she'd been given. Noelle watched the two lovebirds drone on in the background with their ridiculous flirting and sighed at the display, shaking her head in exasperation, using soft touches and half-cuddles as an attempt to prevent Susie from spiraling further in the same way the reindeer herself had all those weeks ago.

Eh. All was well that ended well, she supposed.