Chapter Text
“A brothel?” Feng Xin’s voice cracked, echoing slightly in the hectic Palace of Ling Wen. “You want me to investigate a brothel?”
Ling Wen shuffled a stack of scrolls, her eyes avoiding his. “It’s… a sensitive matter. There have been reports of strange spiritual energy emanating from the establishment. And… well, since the brothel is in the south, which is your territory, you’re one of the few officials with the… combat experience necessary.”
Feng Xin narrowed his eyes. “Combat experience? In a brothel? What, are they throwing pillows laced with poison?”
Ling Wen sighed. “There have been… disappearances. And… the nature of the investigation requires a certain… subtlety.”
Feng Xin knew what that meant. He had a reputation. A reputation for breaking things, shouting, and generally being the opposite of subtle. He also had a reputation for… well, he had a reputation.
“Look, I know you have… reservations,” Ling Wen said, her voice laced with a hint of pity. “But this is important.”
“Reservations?” Feng Xin scoffed. “I have a healthy respect for… boundaries.” He was lying, and they both knew it. He was terrified of women.
“Fine, fine,” Ling Wen said, pushing a scroll towards him. “But… perhaps you could… consider a disguise? It might make your investigation easier.”
Feng Xin stared at the scroll. “A disguise? What, am I supposed to dress up as a… a courtesan? In my female form?”
Ling Wen’s eyes widened. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far…”
“No, wait,” Feng Xin said, a strange determination settling over him. “I’ll do it. I’ll go in my female form. I’ll get to the bottom of this.”
Ling Wen blinked. “You’re… serious? In… your female form? You could always just… I could just get another official to…”
“Absolutely,” Feng Xin said, a grimace flickering across his face. “Just… give me the details.”
Feng Xin had to do this. He couldn’t keep being seen as the Martial God of the Southeast who was desperately afraid of women.
- - -
Feng Xin stared at his reflection in the lake, but he couldn’t even get a single glance before stepping back and whimpering in fear. No, I have to do this. I have to prove it to Ling Wen. He braced himself and stepped in front of the lake. He was dressed in flowing silks, his hair in its usual bun, only girlier, lips colored red, and blush smeared across his cheeks. It was… mortifying.
He bit his lip, unable to stop shuddering. If he couldn’t even stand his own reflection in his female form, then how could he stand being surrounded by numerous prostitutes in the brothel?
After spending a full incense time unsuccessfully getting used to his own appearance, Feng Xin heaved a breath and entered the brothel. He introduced himself to the madam of the “Golden Lotus” brothel and sensed a heavy ghost qi emanating from the place.
The madam, a woman with a face like a seasoned battlefield commander, eyed him up and down. “Well, well, a new blossom. Welcome, dear. What’s your name?”
Feng Xin tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. He was surrounded by women. Women who were… very friendly. Too friendly. “My name is… Xin Feng.” It was the first time he heard his voice so high-pitched.
The madam beamed at him, patting his back, causing him to flinch. “Welcome, Xin Feng. Can I call you Feng-er? You can just call me Auntie Ming. Well, I’m sure you know all the rules already. Go help out your sisters here and be sure to get plenty of nice offers from the gentlemen staying here!”
Feng Xin spent the first hour trying to blend into the background, which was impossible when he had never been in a silk dress and miniature shoes, along with his inability to act calm due to his horrible fear of women. Every time a woman came near him, he’d jump, bumping into things, tripping over his shoes, and accidentally knocking over teacups. It took all of his self-control not to scream.
“By the heavens,” he muttered under his breath, “this is a nightmare.”
Suddenly, his spiritual communication array flickered to life. “General, I’m sending you reinforcements,” Ling Wen’s voice said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “Two junior officials from the Palace of Xuan Zhen.”
“Reinforcements? What, did you think I was going to get lost in a pile of… of… silk?”
“Just be careful,” Ling Wen said. “They’ll be there soon.”
Feng Xin sighed. “Fine.”
The doors to the brothel swung open, and two figures entered. One was a familiar junior official from the Palace of Xuan Zhen, Bai Lin. The other had his brown hair tied up with a cold, aloof posture. It… was Fu Yao, or rather, Mu Qing in disguise.
Feng Xin’s heart plummeted. No. No, no, no, no, no. As if the day couldn’t get any worse. Of all the deputies coming to help, why did it have to be him ? He wasn’t even a deputy official! He was General Xuan Zhen himself! If Mu Qing found out that “Xin Feng” was actually Feng Xin, he would make fun of him for eternity! Feng Xin would become the laughingstock of the heavenly realm!
“Fu Yao?” Feng Xin hissed into the spiritual communication array. “Ling Wen, you sent him ?”
“He volunteered,” Ling Wen said, her voice laced with a hint of mischief. “He said he was… concerned about your safety.”
“Concerned?” He’s going to laugh me out of the Heavenly Court when he sees me like this!
Feng Xin planned to stay as far away from him as possible. He couldn’t let Mu Qing know that he was in his female form.
“Feng-er!” Auntie Ming called, rushing up to him. “Look at those two handsome gentlemen. They must be esteemed cultivators. What a rarity! Very few cultivators would have the face to come to a place like this. Go serve tea to them. Charm them with your beauty. It’s your first day, so go on!” She pushed Feng Xin to the front despite his clear resistance.
“But… but…” Feng Xin stammered, but Auntie Ming had already gone to the other side of the brothel. Feng Xin had no choice but to put on his pathetic ladylike act in front of Bai Lin and Fu Yao, who sat down at a table. “Oh my, what handsome gentlemen,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Welcome, welcome. May I have the pleasure of knowing your esteemed names?” He poured them each a cup of tea.
“I’m Bai Lin,” Bai Lin greeted, then turned to Fu Yao. “And this is Fu Yao. May I have the pleasure of knowing this lady’s name?”
“My name is Xin Feng, but you can just call me Feng-er!” Feng Xin was all smiles, or rather, fake smiles. “It’s my first day here, so hopefully you don’t find my service too dissatisfactory.”
Fu Yao eyed Feng Xin with suspicion. “We’re here on official business,” he said, his voice cold.
“Fu Yao!” Bai Lin hissed to him, kicking him under the table. “Don’t give anything away. They’ll be suspicious of us!”
Fu Yao rolled his eyes, ignoring him.
“Oh, how exciting,” Feng Xin said, his voice dripping with false sweetness. “I’m so happy to have the honor of having two esteemed gentlemen here for business at our humble Golden Lotus brothel. Perhaps I can help you find what you’re looking for.”
Fu Yao’s eyes narrowed. “I doubt it.”
Feng Xin, internally screaming, forced a smile. “Oh, you underestimate me, Fu-daozhang. I’m quite observant.”
Feng Xin clutched onto the teapot more tightly, turning around and shaking when he saw two women coming his way. His heart pounded against his chest, and he kept bumping into things around him in his fear, wincing at the suggestive atmosphere, and occasionally letting slip a string of curses when something particularly unpleasant caught his eye.
Fu Yao, who was always observant, raised an eyebrow. “You seem… nervous.”
“Nervous? Me?” Feng Xin said, his voice cracking. “I’m just… overwhelmed by the… ambiance.”
“Ambiance?” Fu Yao repeated, his lips twitching. “You mean the overwhelming stench of cheap perfume and desperation?”
Feng Xin gasped. “How rude!” Then he clamped his mouth shut and forced a shaky smile. “I mean… it’s my first day here, so it’ll take some time getting used to the atmosphere. And I assume it is also you daozhangs’ first time here as well, so I forgive you for your ignorance.”
Fu Yao snorted. “I see.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.
Feng Xin frowned, gritting his teeth. This man… really got on his nerves.
Fu Yao, meanwhile, remained icily polite, but his eyes never left “Xin Feng.” He noticed the way she flinched when a woman touched her arm, the way her voice changed when she was startled, and the way she kept glancing at him with a mixture of fear and annoyance.
Feng Xin tried his best to act girly and nice, but it was fruitless. He couldn’t help but slip back into his usual personality and manners and couldn’t stop himself from scowling at the more… amorous patrons.
One patron in particular really got on his nerves. Auntie Ming pestered Feng Xin to welcome the new patrons into the building, and one of them was an older, scruffy man who apparently had a wife, but had no care for his infidelity. Feng Xin was disgusted at this, but had no choice but to greet the man with a fake smile. But in a matter of seconds, the man went overboard, trying to grope him and pull at the collar at his neck.
That was the last straw. Feng Xin lost it right then and there.
“What the fuck? What the actual fuck?!” He pushed the man away with a look of disgust. “How dare you act so indecent in public? And you consider yourself to be a gentleman? Not to mention your dishonesty to your own wife? How disrespectful! No matter how much money you give me, I will never serve you, you bastard. You don’t deserve it. Go to hell! Get out of my sight! Leave this place this instant. Go on, fuck off!” He continued to shout a string of vulgarities as he shoved the man out of the brothel, not caring about his image. If only he was in his true form… he definitely would have beaten him to death.
The women and patrons stared at Feng Xin in a daze. Feng Xin laughed nervously, slumping his back, not liking the attention he was receiving.
“Feng-er!” Auntie Ming cried, rushing to his side. “Oh, Feng-er. I know that man was acting improper, but that’s very common around here. It’s a brothel, what can you expect? Since it’s your first day, I’m telling you this to let you know.”
Feng Xin sighed. He truly felt sympathetic for these women. These poor women, having to go through that, every day…
Fu Yao, whose eyes were on “Xin Feng” the entire time, couldn’t help but snort at her sudden outburst. “You know,” he said, his voice low, “you remind me of someone.”
“Oh?” Feng Xin said, his voice a squeak.
“Someone known for their… strange fear of women,” Fu Yao said, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “And very prone to loud, excessive swearing.”
Feng Xin blushed, a genuine blush of mortification. “Really, ha ha ha. I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Fu Yao’s eyes held a strange glint. “Don’t you?”
The night continued, filled with awkward encounters, near-disasters, and a growing sense of dread for Feng Xin. He knew Mu Qing was onto him. He just hoped he could keep this a secret until they found whatever was causing the spiritual disturbances.
And maybe, just maybe, he could get out of this dress without completely losing his dignity. It was a long shot.