Chapter Text
If anything has to describe Komaeda's life, it'd be normal, ordinary, too peaceful for his own good.
But it doesn't matter, at least, it doesn't matter for Komaeda. He can live with that. After all, it's nice to take some breaks from his cycle of Luc, all thanks to Hinata’s or Kamukura's luck canceling his.
Ever since after the events from the Neo World Program, Komaeda expected Hinata to hate his guts and not look in his direction, but the opposite happened.
Strangely enough, Hinata was kind enough to take care of him and call him his friend, after making amends of course.
Hinata never left his side, he always smiled in his direction, helped him with everything he needed, and was a good friend.
Komaeda can't help but catch feelings for the boy all over again, for the third time.
The first time with Kamukura, when he was shot to the chest by the other and he couldn't help but feel mesmerized by the presence, from the amount of hope and talent the other had. He couldn't help it.
The second time with Hinata, during the Neo World Program. Despite the lack of talent, Komaeda couldn't help but get drawn by the brunette, feeling the radiating hope from Hinata as he fell in love with it and him.
And now, this is the third time, falling in love with the mixture of both in one body.
Komaeda recalls how he and Hinata always hang out with each other, how Hinata never hesitates to bring Komaeda with him anywhere despite the circumstances, and how physically attached both of them are.
Komaeda blushes as he also recalls their past encounter when they were having a bonfire event, the way Hinata had asked him for a dance and the way they did. Hinata's movement along with his own share of experience were so elegant and graceful that it drew everyone's attention to their bonfire dance.
He also remembers how Hinata dipped his body, causing him to wrap his slender arms around Hinata's neck as their faces were close, too close.
They could've kissed at that moment, they could've kissed and then confessed. However, Komaeda didn't want to ruin their friendship, so he pulled away and the two shared embarrassed smiles.
He is on his way towards the dining hall, because he promised Hinata to share a breakfast with him. He can't help but feel a sense of anticipation as he is getting closer to his destination.
He almost reaches the dining hall, walking upstairs as he hears some voices from there.
He immediately recognises Hinata's voice as he is talking to someone else, realising much later that it is Koizumi that Hinata's having a conversation with.
“It's just surprising to me. You know?”
“I know. To be honest, it's actually surprising to me as well, since the guy is hard to get.”
Komaeda knows it's not a good thing to eavesdrop on a conversation between the two since it's none of his business, but at the mention of his name, Komaeda can't help but continue so.
“I wonder how you two even get along, since you know how Komaeda-kun usually is.” Koizumi seems curious, and Komaeda waits for Hinata's answer.
Oh how he wishes he never heard the next words coming out of Hinata's mouth.
“Well, I was told to keep an eye on him and make sure that he's not doing anything dangerous to put everyone in danger. He just has this.. weird side of him that I never understand. Besides, I don't think anyone has the capability to control the situation around him except me. I was even frustrated every time I heard him rambling, especially the time you sent me to bring him food when he was tied up. I hate it. I never want to experience it again. And I hate him…”
Komaeda's world starts to spin but as he hears those words, it all stops.
Hinata.. hates him? Hinata.. the kind, gentle Hinata, who he always considered a good friend of his and holds deep feelings for.. hates him?
Komaeda takes a few steps back, pulling away from the place he is supposed to meet Hinata. He can't see him, not like this.
Komaeda walks downstairs, feeling nauseous, confused, and utterly in despair.
He stumbles a bit as he walks out of the hotel, crossing the pool and walking towards his own cottage (which he doesn't know how or when he reaches there).
He looks into the space, replaying the conversation he has just heard.
Why? Why does it have to happen?
Hinata hates him? Hinata really hates him? After everything they did together? Was everything just a lie? Was Hinata tricking him into believing that someone like him deserved such a thing as friends?
Was Hinata so cruel that he was hiding it behind his kind acting?
Komaeda always knew he didn't deserve it, but it still hurts him to know the guy he has loved so dearly feels nothing but resentment towards him.
Komaeda clenches his fists, feeling stupid to fall for Hinata's act of Kindness. He shouldn't have believed him, he shouldn't have let his guard down, he shouldn't have trusted someone as despicable as Hinata.
Who does he think he is?! He is not even an ultimate, let alone one of them. He's still the same reserve course student who pushed himself among them. He's just needed because of his talents, which are not even his.
Komaeda hates him.
He hates Hajime Hinata for thinking he's higher than anyone just for having Kamukura's talents.
And he hates that he's tricked by the same person, twice.
Later, Komaeda decides to spend the rest of his day with the other ultimate students, the ones who actually can stand his presence.
He's in the library with Sonia, helping the princess organise the books in their own shelves as they have small chats about their own favourite books.
It was weird how the two had gotten along at first, but Komaeda always appreciated the princess 's effort to understand him and keep him company.
Komaeda is having a good time with her, until he hears Hinata's voice.
“There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere.” Hinata placed his hands on his hips as he frowned at the white haired male.
Komaeda busies himself over organising the books, pretending to think Hinata was looking for Sonia and not him.
However, Sonia casts Komaeda a look and then responds to Hinata with a kind smile. “My sincerest apologies, Hinata-san. I asked Komaeda-san here because I needed his help cleaning the library and organizing the books in correct categories, since he's pretty excellent at it.”
Komaeda doesn't say anything, busying himself even more as he pretends he's not even listening to them.
“Alright. It's okay. It's just.. he actually promised to have breakfast with me only for him to actually ditch me and leave me hanging.” Hinata arches an eyebrow as he smiles a bit towards Komaeda, in which Komaeda doesn't respond to it.
“Really? That is terrible! Is it true, Komaeda-san? Because if it is, that's not really nice of you to leave your friends hanging.”
Komaeda feels bad ignoring Sonia's words, but he can't say he doesn't regret walking away from the scene of humiliation and regret.
“I'm finished here, Sonia-san. Do you need any other help with the library?” Komaeda shoots the princess a smile, a plastic one since he doesn't feel like smiling at all.
Sonia gets a bit worried from the response, but decides that there is nothing else they can do, so she dismisses him.
More like, Komaeda dismisses himself as he walks past Hinata without sparing him a glance.
He can almost hear their conversation as he exits the library.
“Was he mad at me or something? He didn't even look at me.”
“I do not know for certain. Perhaps, you should have a conversation with Komaeda-san himself.”
Komaeda lets out a scoff as he walks away from the place.
The audacity of this person to act so innocent, like he's the victim.
It makes Komaeda want to have nothing to do with the other even more.
“Hey, Komaeda!”
Komaeda curses his luck under his breath as he hears Hinata's voice calling him and waving his hand while walking towards him. He doesn't want to talk to the other boy, especially knowing that Hinata is nothing but a horrible scum, a liar, a manipulator just like Enoshima (not as bad as her though) and he always gets sick whenever remembering her.
“Komaeda! Hey.” Hinata grabs Komaeda's hand, stopping him from walking away. “Just hold on a bit, can you? What's the rush?” Hinata chuckles a bit at his own joke.
God! How beautiful his laughs are and how much he loves them.
Komaeda doesn't say anything, just waiting for Hinata to voice out his request so he can just leave then.
“Well, you didn't join me for breakfast and I kind of got worried. But it's fine, we can do it another time.” Hinata shoots him a beautiful bright smile, making Komaeda's heart ache more, making Komaeda feel even sicker.
“Well, we're all going to have a baking session and bake some sweets together in the dining hall. You should come join us! It'll be fun.” Hinata smiles even more, grabbing Komaeda's and giving it an encouraging squeeze.
The action makes Komaeda's heart skip a beat.
The action makes Komaeda even more mad. Hinata hates him, and now he's just acting and lying to him by looking him in the eyes. That's how much of a good actor he is.
“My apologies, but I'm not interested because I'm not a fan of sweets. Besides, I have to go help Tsumiki-san at the hospital.” Komaeda says in a formal yet cold tone and pulls his hand out of Hinata's grip.
Hinata frowns a bit, looking at Komaeda. “But.. Tsumiki is with us in the baking session.”
Dang it!
Komaeda thinks of how to not look suspicious, he just doesn't want to be near this guy. “Well, exactly! She actually told me to take care of some stuff in there while she's not present.”
Hinata nods slowly, frowning more like he doesn't like the idea of Komaeda's absence much. “I can help you if you want. Your task seems to be much more important than mine.”
Please no.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but no, thanks. So if you excuse me now.”
Komaeda begins to walk away from Hinata, supposedly towards the hospital.
Leaving a confused yet hurt Hinata alone.
As Komaeda comes back from the hospital, walking back towards the direction of the cottages, he hears some noises.
Screaming, he hears people screaming.
Looking up, he sees smoke rising up. He runs towards the direction of the smoke and sees the hotel on fire. He feels his heart stop as he sees the burning place, the place that the other ultimates are.
The place where Hinata is in.
Komaeda runs towards the burning hotel, he sees most of them who are already out of the place and some of them who just come out of it.
His eyes scan the area, trying to find a certain someone until his eyes land on him.
Hinata is okay, coughing while trying his best to comfort the terrified Saionji.
He almost sighs in relief. Everyone is okay..
Almost everyone.
“Wait.. where's Mikan?!” Sonia’s outburst makes everyone aware of the nurse’s absence.
“Mikan?! Mikan-chan?! Where is she?!” Mioda is almost on the verge of tears as she sees that Tsumiki is not present.
Komaeda sees how almost most of them are reluctant to go back to the building when only a few of them are brave enough to go back, but they're not in a good condition.
Without thinking, Komaeda decides to run inside the building, ignoring the people who are screaming his name and telling him to stop.
Burning flame and dark smoke are the only things that he can see. The sight of the inside of the burning place almost gives him the flashback of the time when he set this place on fire, the time he was accomplishing his messed up plan to catch the traitor.
To save the traitor and kill everyone else along with himself.
He still wonders how they forgave someone like him..
“H.. Help!! P.. please..! Someone!”
Tsumiki’s scream pulls Komaeda out of his thoughts as he tries to follow the voice of the terrified girl.
He almost dodges the flame burning his skin, however, he's almost running out of the oxygen.
Finally, Komaeda finds Tsumiki, whose leg was stuck inside a few rubbles as she is crying while trying to get out.
“Tsumiki-san!!” Komaeda runs towards her, helping her to try to get her leg out. He feels his hands burn as he pushes some of the hot rubbles away, freeing the girl's leg from it.
“You have to get out of here. Don't worry.” Komaeda tries to get her on her feet, only to hear Tsumiki's cry of pain. Looking down, he sees how injured her leg is and how bad its condition is.
Komaeda is out of ideas, he's not even strong enough to carry her. But as he sees the place they're in is burning down to ashes and the girl's scream, he knows he doesn't have much of a choice but to put all the strength he has.
“Tsumiki-san! Get on my back.” Komaeda kneels down, letting Tsumiki on his back to carry her in a piggy back style, hoping they can make it to the exit.
He feels her arms around her neck as he starts to jog towards the exit, not being able to run since he's not strong enough.
Curse his lack of physical strength.
Komaeda feels his lungs are burning as he starts to cough, almost stumbling but gathering himself quickly as he continues.
“Komaeda-kun?!” He hears the girl's worried cry, not wanting to make her worried as he shoots her a reassuring smile.
“I'm..” He coughs. “I'm alright.”
They are there. They're almost there. He can see the exit. He can see the light.
However, his burning lungs and his nonstop coughing from the smoke makes him feel dizzy as he can't help but feel his head spinning. He can't see the light anymore as black spots appear in his sight and his legs give out any power, causing him to fall down.
Curse his weak health.
“K.. Komaeda-kun?! W.. wake up! K..k.. Komaeda-kun!!!”
Tsumiki's cries become more distant as his vision starts to fade and his consciousness starts to disappear.
This is it. This is the end for him. At least, he is not dying as a bad person. At least, he dies by trying to save someone who's redeeming herself from all the despair she has caused, saving someone who's now representing hope.
He is dying as a saviour of hope..
“..maeda.. to..”
What's that noise?
It seems.. familiar.
“Komaeda?! Komaeda! Nagito!”
He can almost feel a pair of hands pressing on his chest rapidly, a pair of warm lips pressing against his as oxygen is coming back inside his lungs again.
He can also feel droplets of water hitting his skin, it tastes salty as one hits his lips.
Tears..?
“Come back to me, Ko! Don't leave me! Don't you dare do that to me!”
He can hear someone crying above him. The voice sounds so familiar, so warm, so caring.
Wait.. Hinata?!
He tries to open his eyes, adjusting to the light that hits his eyes as he opens them. However, a figure is shading him from the hitting light so he can see better.
Komaeda can feel his eyes widened as he sees Hinata's face above him, his eyes filled with tears as he's looking at the white haired male.
“Komaeda..” Hinata's eyes widens as well, slowly smiling as the brunette sees him awake and alive. “You're back. You're alive! Thank God!”
The next thing Komaeda feels is Hinata hugging him tight.
“Thank god! You're here. You're safe. I thought I lost you forever.” Hinata mutters words into his neck as streaming tears wet his neck.
Komaeda feels his heartbeat quickening as he melts in Hinata's warm embrace. He feels safe in it, it feels like he's back home.
Komaeda can almost feel the tears gather in his eyes as he feels this warm sensation.
Once he is about to return the gesture…
“I hate him!”
Right. Hinata hates him. He's just being nice.. no. He's just acting like he cares when he doesn't.
Komaeda blinks the tears away, staying motionless as he waits for Hinata to just pull away.
“I'm fine. You can pull away.” Komaeda's tone is tired, exhausted even.
Hinata slowly pulls away, sniffling as he wipes his tears and shoots him a relieved smile.
What a good actor he is.
“I'm just glad you're alive, Ko.”
Komaeda doesn't respond. On the contrary, he wishes he just died. At least, he doesn't have to see his face anymore.
As Komaeda is about to get up, his legs give out and he falls down again, but Hinata catches him in time before he hits the floor.
“Komaeda! Be careful. You just–”
However, Komaeda pushes him away, shooting him an icy glare.
“Stop acting like you care about” *cough* “trash like me. Stop acting like you care when you don't.” Komaeda lets out a bitter chuckle as more coughing comes out of his mouth.
Hinata is confused, worried, and from what it looks like hurt as well when Komaeda pushed him off.
“Nagito.. what do you–”
Komaeda is about to walk away, only to stumble again. This time, Sonia catches him and he lets her.
“We should guide you to the hospital, Komaeda-san. You're not in a good condition.”
Komaeda just nods, letting her guide him. Feeling Hinata's eyes on him, he doesn't spare a single glance towards the other.
And with that, they walk away from the scene.
Leaving a hurt and confused Hinata behind who has a sorrowful expression.