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Robert’s face is so peaceful. Contented, comfortable, happy. Seeing it both fixes and breaks Aaron’s heart at the same time.
Robert’s hand on his arm is like an anchor, tethering him to this moment so he can take in every single detail to commit to memory. The smattering of freckles on Robert’s shoulder (Aaron can’t resist pressing his lips to them) is so familiar, yet so different, with Robert’s now broader frame. Robert’s angular features that Aaron could bring into his mind’s eye with no hesitation are now altered with Robert’s facial hair.
But his eyes. They haven’t changed a bit.
In the moment Robert appeared on his wedding day, and Aaron let himself meet those eyes, it was like he’d been punched in the stomach.
Once upon a time, those eyes were his lifeline. They were home.
Aaron swallows as his mouth turns dry. Robert’s lips are already slightly upturned, but his expression turns into a small smile as he reaches up and strokes a hand through Aaron’s hair.
“I don’t mind if you have to go,” he says softly, almost a whisper.
Aaron has been having an inner debate for the past god knows how long — ever since they’d fallen apart in each other’s arms and found themselves just taking each other in as if they couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.
He knows what he should do. And he knows what he wants to do. It’s a head and heart situation. From the moment Robert’s lips had touched his, there was this tiny voice in the back of his head telling him not to do this. You’re married to John, you love John.
Aaron’s never been that good at listening to his head. Not when it comes to Robert Sugden anyway.
(His heart had thumped to the rhythm of soulmate-soulmate-soulmate.)
He shuffles closer, moving his hand from Robert’s arm to his waist and pulling them together.
“I wish—“
Robert shakes his head. “We can’t tell each other any more of our wishes; they won’t come true.” His hand is suddenly on Aaron’s cheek, his thumb stroking softly through his stubble.
Aaron can’t help but lean his face into Robert’s palm as he lets out a sigh.
They lie there for a few more moments. Aaron doesn’t know how long. It’s as if time has stood still just for them; there’s no other sound than their breathing, no other movement than their caresses.
Robert’s eyes start to close, his face serene. Aaron can only worry about how Robert must’ve been sleeping recently with everything going on, and of course how he probably hasn’t slept properly for the last six years. He can only hope that now might be the perfect opportunity for Robert to finally get the rest he needs.
Aaron could almost allow himself to drop off too, but the thought of lying here for even just a few seconds more, even if it’s just to witness Robert finally being able to relax after such an emotionally draining afternoon, is more appealing. He can’t possibly fathom the idea of even blinking for a millisecond and missing a single moment of lying here with Robert in their own little bubble.
But reality always has to catch up eventually.
Aaron carefully manoeuvres himself out of Robert’s embrace, his arms now entirely relaxed around him. He swings his legs out of bed and gathers up his clothes, attempting to get dressed while making as little noise as possible.
He stumbles slightly as he pulls on his jeans, and takes a moment to glance at his phone.
Shit. Six missed calls. All from John.
He moves a bit more swiftly then, also making a bit of an effort to tidy up a couple of things so there is less for Robert to do when he wakes up. There’s only so much Aaron can do right now, but even just putting some things away—
Such as a pile of photos next to an open shoebox under the window. Photos of the two of them from years ago; there’s one from their first wedding, and another has both of them grinning into the camera with a very happy Seb in his high chair between them, who is covered in spaghetti bolognese. Aaron can’t help but run a finger over Seb’s smiling face.
He picks up the photos and places them carefully back into the box, but one slides out of his hand and onto the floor. It lands face up and he is met with a copy of the same photo he carries in his wallet of him, Robert and Liv. Well, not that his copy has Robert in it anymore.
Aaron swallows the lump in his throat and quickly puts the escaped photo back in the box, replacing the lid. Letting out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, he decides that he really should be getting on his way now.
Glancing back over towards the bed, he’s happy to see that Robert appears to be in a deep sleep, his mouth now slightly open and letting out soft snores. Aaron smiles to himself and reaches for the door handle.
He pauses.
Aaron crosses the room in only a couple of steps and leans over the bed, placing a kiss on Robert’s forehead. He lets his lips linger for a second and then rests his head against Robert’s for a moment longer.
“I love you,” he breathes.