Work Text:
undercut: duuu uuuuu uuudes
Dadchi: why is there space between the different parts of the word dude ?
black cat: glad you're not questioning the multiple u we'd be here all day
Futakuchi: Guys, please, type correctly…
black cat: oh come on we don't have time to waste typing with capital letters
owls everywhere: or proper punctuation
Dadchi: at least we're not oikawa
Futakuchi: Yeah, thank god, one is enough.
aliens believe: what??? （∂△∂；)
black cat: my point exactly
undercut: pay attention to meeee
black cat: you're so shameless dude haha
undercut: we created the captain chat to coplain so let me coplain !!!
owls everywhere: were not even captains anymore is this captain thing STILL a thing???
black cat: bo ???!!! i'm offended
black cat: if bo tries to tell us this complaining chat is not useful i'll seriously disconnect
Dadchi: yeah you're the one that uses it the most
owls everywhere: comoooon dudes ive been quiet these days
Dadchi: hm that's true
Dadchi: maybe you've finally grown up
owls everywhere: SO MEAN DAD
undercut: ohmygod you guys are real life ignoring me even
owls everywhere: um excuse u nby is here is w u irl?
undercut: daishou is AND HE'S IGNORNG ME
black cat: oh yeah i forgot you were rooming with the snake jerk
owls everywhere: we all know u 2 are dating kuroo u can drop the act
black cat: shut uuuup i'm dating yamaguchi !
Futakuchi: I didn't think these were mutually exclusive ?
undercut: OH MY GOD LISTEN TO ME
Futakuchi: It's ok Terushima, you can coplain, we're listening
undercut: fuck youuu
owls everywhere changes the title to coplaining anonymous.
undercut: i seriously hate you all omg
japan: What is happening Tarushima ?
undercut: you'd be the nicest if you hadn't completely ruined my name but thanks ushiwaka
aliens believe: hey that's my nickname !!! stop using it (⋋_⋌)
undercut: anyway since someone FINALLY asked, my ex manager got a girlfriend
undercut: i can't believe she got a girlfriend before me
Futakuchi: I think she's dating my manager, congrats to them.
Futakuchi: Former manager, sorry.
owls everywhere: #forever alone
black cat: rip in pieces tarushima
undercut: fuck you guys
black cat: you wish
Dadchi: what a lame flirting technique, you learned nothing, yuuji
owls everywhere: HEY wakatoshi can we go practice this afternoon????
owls everywhere: i got a new volleyball i really wanna try spiking it!!!
japan: I'll join you in half an hour
owls everywhere: AMAZING!!!
Dadchi: by the way kuroo was it you who excluded daishou again ?
Futakuchi added snek to the conversation.
snek: My nickname is still as horrible…
Futakuchi: Thank god you're still typing normally !
snek: Why would I stop ?
Futakuchi: Bad influence, these lot.
black cat: hum stop flirting like we're not here maybe ???
snek: Don't be jealous.
owls everywhere: hes totes jealous u should see him hes pouting
black cat: bo don't tell lies
black cat: just get out of my house already
owls everywhere sent a picture
undercut: #truth
owls everywhere: get rekt bro
snek: Touching, Kitty, but I'm still not deleting that picture of you with whiskers.
owls everywhere: ooooomg u have that and u didnt tell us
undercut: weren't we complaining about how i don't have a girlfriend ?
owls everywhere: why arent we complaining at how I DONT HAVE A BF ?
Futakuchi: You broke up with Akaashi ?
owls everywhere: uh yeah like 2 weeks ago
black cat: dude what
owls everywhere: im rly ok so i didnt even think abt telling u guys
undercut: wow
undercut: so bo wasn't kidding about not needing the complaining chat
undercut: the coplaining anonymous wtf futakuchi we're not even anonymous
Dadchi: but are you really ok though ?
owls everywhere: yea!! akaashi came yesterday and painted my nails and we CUDDLED
undercut: um this is weird but if that works for your
black cat: teru
black cat: my boyy
black cat: let me tell you
black cat: akaashi has been mothering bo since his first year in fukurodani
black cat: no break up can break through this
aliens believe: kou-chan if you need more nail polish i have plenty
owls everywhere: thanks but im good !!!
aliens believe: you used the orange one again didn't you
owls everywhere sent a picture
aliens believe: (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻
owls everywhere: oh cmon it looks great
undercut: bo join me in the single group
owls everywhere: nope i have practice w wakatoshi see u later guys!!!
undercut: just bury me
owls everywhere: DUDE I CANT BELIEVE IT
undercut: what ?
owls everywhere: there was some accident last week on my road
owls everywhere: left pretty big dents in the pavement
owls everywhere: so now that i just got back to my room to get my shoes
owls everywhere: THEY CLOSED THE ROAD TO TARMAC IT BACK
owls everywhere: I CANT LEAVE MY HOUSE
black cat: poor thing
owls everywhere: o shtup tetsu
undercut: yeah be supportive
owls everywhere: i cant even practice :'(
Futakuchi: Your life is so sad.
owls everywhere: YEAH :( :( :(
Futakuchi: And he's answering seriously. You are unbelievable.
japan: I'm sorry you can't come, Koutarou, we can practice tomorrow
owls everywhere: THANK U!!!!
black cat: so easy to please
Dadchi: like that's not your case
snek: Sawamura, if you knew.
black cat: come say that to my face trash king number 2
aliens believe: i'm still number one ? aw tetsu (*≧∀≦*)
Dadchi: what have you done kuroo
Dadchi: kuroo
undercut: he won't answer, i think daishou ran to his house
Futakuchi: This smells like trouble.
Futakuchi: Can't I talk with someone sane for once ?
owls everywhere: my whole room smells like concrete IM NOT SANE AT ALL
Take-naka: Can you guys please stop the spam ? Today is even worse than usual.
Futakuchi: Takeru ! Save me !
owls everywhere: so dramatic futakuchi
undercut: yeah come on, we provide free drama and you complain
Take-naka: I'm here once a month and they tire me so much.
Take-naka: I admire you, Kenji. What is your secret ?
Futakuchi: Have you seen my first years ?
Dadchi: um excuse you have you seen mine
Dadchi: well now they're all grown up but still
Futakuchi: I agree, Sawamura's were the worst !
black cat: so much energy in such a small body
black cat: also tell daishou to piss off
undercut: daishou, piss off
black cat: fuck you omg
undercut: haha
black cat: it's ok though he left
undercut: no fun
Dadchi: i miss them though
undercut: haha
black cat: nostalgic so soon ?
undercut: wait and see, he'll have hair as grey as Sugawara's
black cat: oooh snap
black cat: at least it was only the first years
black cat: lookin at you bo
owls everywhere: what is this suPPOSED TO MEAN???
black cat: that you were impossible to handle as a third year, you big baby
owls everywhere: MEAN
owls everywhere: k brb trying to see if i can dodge the HORRIBLE TAR INVASION
owls everywhere: UUUUUUUGH
undercut: so it failed ?
owls everywhere: DUH
black cat: um bo can we talk for a minute
owls everywhere: yeah ???
black cat: wtf are you on about this break up with akaashi
owls everywhere: ??????????
black cat: i texted him because i couldn't believe it
owls everywhere: !!!!!!!!
Futakuchi: I would have too if I had his number, to be honest
black cat: i can't believed you typed that out
black cat: anyway
black cat: he says he's never heard of a break up
black cat: so
black cat: what the hell dude
owls everywhere: wait so were still together????
owls everywhere: ill call him OMG THIS IS SO COOL
Futakuchi: Wow, ignorance is bliss, but this is reaching new heights.
undercut: don't tell me i'm the only single one now
Dadchi: so sorry, yuuji
Futakuchi: Since when am I dating anyone ?
black cat: you and takeru aren't a thing ?
Futakuchi: Stop shipping people, Kuroo.
black cat: not shipping, it's the cold truth, my dear kenji
owls everywhere: AAAAAAH
owls everywhere: IM STILL DATING AKAASHI
owls everywhere: wow im so relieved!!!!!
undercut: congrats, dude
owls everywhere: thanks man!!!!!
Futakuchi: You know how they say you can make diamonds out of coals if you put enough pressure on them ?
black cat: i think i know what you mean futakuchi
owls everywhere: I THINK I LOVE AKAASHI
black cat: #best of luck akaashi 2kFOREVER
owls everywhere: BEST OF LUCK IN UR QUEST FOR A GF TERU !!!!!
black cat: hey you know
black cat: maybe you'd manage to get one if you stopped asking the gayest people on earth for advice ?
undercut: … come to think of it you lot are kind of gay
aliens believe: i heard gay is this about me ? (ŐωŐ人)
owls everywhere: omg are u for real
black cat: seriously you pop up every hour and you manage to be gayer than sawamura
Dadchi: tooru even i am not that gay
aliens believe: hehe б（°ε°）∂
black cat: ok now can someone tell daishou to fuck off from my window ?
owls everywhere: nah dude, accept the love
black cat: omfg i hate u all
undercut: welcome to the club, kuroo