Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Zuko can’t sleep.

That’s not a big surprise. Sleep is not a friend of his. He can’t remember the last time he managed a full night of it.

No, that’s not true. It was after the North Pole, when Uncle—

He can’t think about Uncle.

He slides off the bed that is too soft—and that’s a strange thought, isn’t it, that he’s spent so long sleeping on dirt and hard cots and stiff mattresses that a soft bed is uncomfortable for him—and lands silently on his feet. This room once belonged to one of the Earth King’s servants. It’s right next to where Ty Lee is sleeping, so he has to be quiet.

“Ty Lee needs her beauty sleep,” Azula said last night. “I imagine it’ll be difficult for you, Zuzu, but you’ll have to do your best not to wake her.”

“That’s not true!” he said. Azula just smiled.

It wasn’t true. Azula might still think of him as an annoying kid who threw tantrums and couldn’t stop talking, but she hadn’t seen him in three years. That kid was gone. He burned away on the stone floor of the Agni Kai arena.

(Is he gone? You mean to suggest you do not throw tantrums anymore?)

He pushes the thoughts away. They sound like—like—

Even if he does still have tantrums, he knows how to stay quiet. He broke into Pouhai Stronghold, after all. He would home right now if Zhao’s archers hadn’t knocked him out.

The Avatar asked if they could have been friends, in another life.

Zuko didn’t allow himself to think about it. He was already dishonorable enough without treasonous ideas in his mind.

Whatever. The point is, he’s not a walking accident anymore. He could probably sneak out of this palace right now if he wanted to.

…There’s an idea.

Jin can’t sleep. She thinks she knows why.

The citizens of Ba Sing Se aren’t supposed to talk about the war, but only the Upper Ring can afford not to think about it. A huge chunk of the Lower Ring’s population are refugees, including her parents. They came here because, repressive and classist as Ba Sing Se was (and still is)—it was also the only part of the world completely safe from the Fire Nation. Even when the Dragon of the West besieged them five years ago, the city did not fall.

Until yesterday.

Nobody really knows how the Fire Nation managed to take over. The prevailing narrative involves the Fire Nation princess, but how she could’ve gotten inside in the first place remains a mystery.

It’s one of many mysteries Jin has encountered this month. It doesn’t look like she’s going to get an answer to any of them.

After lying on her mattress for almost an hour, she gets up and slips on some shoes.

Mom and Dad wouldn’t like this, probably. They’d say it was reckless to go outside at night, but Jin has done it before with no consequence. Maybe in the Upper Ring the Dai Li can afford to arrest loiterers, but down here they have their hands full with actual criminals. She doesn’t see any reason they would now that they’re traitors.

Jin never liked rules anyway.

Zuko isn’t sure how he ended up in the Lower Ring.

No, that’s a bit of a lie. He knows how he got here—climbing on top of a train that is still running at this time of night—but he still isn’t sure what possessed him to do that.

(He wonders if the earthbenders who have to run the train at night get paid extra. Then he stops that thought, because he isn’t supposed to care about Earth Kingdom peasants. Even if he was briefly one himself.)

He tries to look down as he walks. He doesn’t want to see anything that will remind him of…of that person he does not want to be reminded of.

The downside of not looking up, however, is not seeing where you’re going. Which is why Zuko ends up walking straight into someone else and knocking them—her?—to the ground.

The girl beneath him gives him a strange look. “Lee?”

It’s definitely Lee. His scar is unmistakable.

When his uncle got that new tea shop in the Upper Ring, she assumed she would never see him again. But then he shows up in the Lower Ring at midnight and slams right into her like he can’t be bothered to look where he’s going.

Lee stands up and brushes himself off. “You—you have me confused with someone else.”

Jin almost laughs. He’s always been a terrible liar. That’s how she knows nothing he said during their date was true. Honestly, she isn’t even sure that “Lee” is his real name.

The lying has never bothered her. She may not be able to read, but was raised on stories about great romances where neither party knew the others’ name at first. And she knows there are a lot of reasons why a scarred refugee boy might not want to share his real backstory. Mom and Dad never told her all the details of their own lives, and they were adults when it happened. War is hard on everyone.

Besides, there’s another reason he might not want to talk. A reason that is too dangerous even to think about.

“Please don’t lie to me right now,” she says. “I know who you are, and I know you know who I am. So would you mind telling me what you’re doing here?”

Lee blinks. “Jin?”

“Yes.”

“I’m…sorry. I didn’t know you would be here.”

“I live here, Lee. The question is, why are you here? Didn’t you and your uncle move to the Upper Ring?”

“Yes. We did.” His voice cracks on the word we.

“So why are you here?”

“I was tired, all right! I decided to go outside and take a walk, climbed on top of the train, and ended up here. Is that good enough for you?”

She flinches. Lee’s fits of yelling are not his most attractive quality. “You…climbed on top of the train?”

“What? You think I can’t do it? You think just because I get angry sometimes, that means I can’t be quiet when I need to be?”

“No. I was just…surprised.”

His fists uncurl as the tension leaves his body. “Surprised?”

“Maybe a little impressed.” Jin might be sneaky, but climbing onto a train without anyone noticing is next level. She decides to change the subject. “How’s your uncle?”

“He’s fine.” Lee says this quickly enough that Jin becomes pretty sure that Mushi is not, in fact, fine.

She decides not to dispute this. “Are you angry at me?”

“No. I’m just angry in general.”

“I don’t think you can be angry in general.”

The temperature heats up. Jin double-checks the alleyway for Dai Li. As annoying as Lee is being right now, she doesn’t want him to get caught.

(What will happen if he does? Will he end up an empty-minded shell, like the Joo Dees? Will they try to force him into the Fire Nation army?)

“It’s okay if you’re scared,” she says.

“Stop talking like you know me. You don’t.”

“I know that you’re a firebender.”

Lee takes a step backwards. His eyes dart to either side as if to check for escape routes.

She knows. She knows. How can she possibly know?

“How?” The word sounds too small when it leaves Zuko’s mouth, but it’s all he can manage.

“You lit up the Firelight Fountain in less than a minute. What was I supposed to think?”

Spirits, that was weeks ago. Jin has known for weeks. If she was able to figure it out, who else might have?

It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s done hiding. In two weeks he’ll be going home.

(The thought doesn’t make him as happy as it probably should.)

She places a hand on his shoulder. He instinctively jerks away.

“It’s fine, Lee. It’s not your fault. There are a lot of Earth Kingdom people who are…like you.” She sounds vaguely sick as she says it, and he knows why. She’s talking about people who are products of…of something no honorable Fire Nation citizen should ever do.

She thinks he’s a fucking war child.

Even the idea disgusts him. But he can’t exactly tell the truth. “Right,” he says at last, neither a confirmation nor a denial.

Jin looks back over her shoulder, like she’s afraid someone will hear them. Maybe she is. The Dai Li agents dragged Jet away just because he told the truth…

(His chest hurts for some reason. He didn’t care about Jet. Maybe it’s just the reminder of another person who got hurt because of him. Like Mother and Uncle.)

(He can’t think about Uncle.)

“I should be heading back,” he says. “I don’t want…Uncle to worry about me.” Even the mention of Uncle makes his throat swell up. Zuko has no right, no right at all to use Uncle as an excuse. Not after what he did to him.

He had to do it. Uncle was a traitor. He was working with the Avatar. It’s his own fault he’s locked up now.

Maybe if Zuko tells himself that for long enough, he might actually believe it.

Jin will likely never see Lee again.

That shouldn’t bother her as much as it does. He is far from the first boy she’s gone out with. Their date wasn’t even that good, except for the end. But there’s something about Lee that intrigues her. It’s the way he lies constantly but is so terrible at it she can see right through him. It’s the combination of endearing charm and furious temper tantrums. The way he insulted her eating habits but then risked revealing his most dangerous secret just to make her happy. She doesn’t know who he is or what he’s gone through, but she suspects it was bad, and she’s starting to think he needs help.

“Hey, Lee,” she says.

He stops walking.

“Could we meet here again tomorrow?”

Lee closes his eyes for a moment. “Sure. I’ll be back here tomorrow at twilight. That’s the only time I know I can get free.”

Free from what? Jin will admit she didn’t know Mushi very well, but he never seemed the type to force Lee to work extra hours.

But before she can ask the question, Lee is gone. He’s melted into the darkness like he was never there. Like he’s one of the spirits themselves.

Jin lingers for a few moments before turning around and heading back home.

Chapter Text

Firebenders rise with the sun. This is a problem when the firebender in question has been up way too late the previous night.

Zuko has to tiptoe past Ty Lee’s room again—she isn’t a firebender, so she sleeps in long past dawn. He enters the Earth King’s throne room at the same moment Azula does. She is still dressed in Earth Kingdom green; but then again, so is he. In her hand is a cup that smells like jasmine, and Zuko has to block off all the memories it triggers.

“Why, hello, Zuzu,” Azula says. “How did you sleep?”

Of course she noticed his lack of sleep. He’s never been able to hide anything from her.

“I’m fine,” he says stiffly.

She puts the teacup down on the armrest of the throne. “I’m sure Mai will be eager to catch up with you.”

Oh. Mai.

He doesn’t know what to think about her. Before his banishment, it seemed inevitable that they would be together forever…but that was three years ago. He doesn’t know how much she might’ve changed since then.

(Or how much he might’ve changed.)

(Because he has changed, hasn’t he? That’s what he told the waterbender girl when they were fighting two days ago.)

(Usually he’s bad at reading people, but there was no mistaking the betrayal in her eyes.)

No. He won’t think about that. The pain of a Water Tribe peasant means nothing to him. It has to mean nothing, or even Father won’t be able to restore his honor. Honor is impossible for a traitor.

He’ll talk to Mai. Perhaps they can make it work, and then he can forget about everything that happened in the years they were apart.

“Where is she?” Zuko asks.

(He can forget about Jin.)

“Wake up, Jin! The day’s halfway over already!”

Jin opens her eyes to see Mom standing over the mattress. “Hi?”

“Did you have trouble sleeping last night?”

The first thought that pops into Jin’s mind is Don’t tell her about Lee. As far as Mom knows, Lee is just a boy she went on a date with once. If she knew her daughter was sneaking out to meet with him—let alone that he was a secret firebender—she’d be incensed.

More than that, she’d be afraid. Mom has gone through enough in her life. Jin doesn’t want her to worry about this, too.

”I guess I was worried about the Fire Nation,” she says instead. It isn’t even a lie, not really. She is worried about the Fire Nation. But not for her own sake.

Mom’s face softens. “It’s all right to be worried, Jin’er.* We’re all worried. The Fire Nation is dangerous.”

Jin’s stomach twists. Lee isn’t Fire Nation. He didn’t choose to a be a firebender.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Mom works as a maid for a prestigious Earth Kingdom family.

Mom shakes her head. “Lady Haoyu fled the city when the Fire Nation took over. I haven’t found a new job yet.”

Jin throws her arms around her mother. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Mom says. “I still have you and your father. That’s what matters.”

They stay like that for a little while. When Jin finally pulls away, she asks, “Do you want me to make some jook for lunch?”

Mom’s smile is contagious. “That sounds wonderful.”

Mai is…a lot less expressive than Zuko remembers. He suspects even someone like Azula would have trouble reading her.

“I…uh, I haven’t seen you in a while.” He curses himself for how awkward it sounds, but small talk is not one of his strengths.

“I knew that,” Mai says.

And Zuko can’t think of anything to say to that, so he just keeps quiet. They spend a solid minute like this before Mai finally speaks again:

“I don’t want to get back together with you, Zuko.”

He exhales. Until she said it, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the idea of getting back with Mai. But now that he knows she doesn’t want to, he’s definitely relieved.

“Believe it or not, three years is a long time for me, too. I moved on a while ago.”

“You found another guy?”

“Something like that,” Mai says. “What about you? Have you found anyone?”

That’s a hard question to answer. Zuko doesn’t feel attraction the way other people do. He’s not fast about it, there’s no moment when he looks at a stranger and feels drawn to them. Back when he was chasing the Avatar, he sometimes would search for information in houses of ill repute, and none of the women there did anything for him.

It’s not that he’s incapable of experiencing those feelings. He remembers the bubbly joy of spending time with Mai as a child. And the way his heart beat faster when he and Jet liberated the food on the ferry. Then there was a moment at the end of his date with Jin…

He doesn’t like Jin the way he liked Mai. He can’t afford to. There’s no future between the prince of the Fire Nation and an Earth Kingdom peasant girl. He needs to stop thinking about her. He shouldn’t have agreed to meet with her again in the first place.

Sometimes he wishes he didn’t always keep his promises.

Jin stands in the darkness of the street as the sky darkens. Lee should be here by now. Has he changed his mind, or did something happen to him?

A boy who can sneak into the Lower Ring undetected once can do it again, but that doesn’t make the worries feel any less real.

Twilight is nearly over by the time she sees him. She can make out his features better than last night. His hair is longer now, the back part nearly reaching the collar of his jacket. There are dark circles under his eyes, or at least under the one that isn’t scarred. At his belt is a long scabbard with a hilt poking out—

“Is that a sword?” she asks.

“Swords.” He pulls out what initially appears to be one broadsword and separates it. “They’re two halves of the same whole.” 

She takes a step closer. “You know how to use those?” She doesn’t ask where he learned, but she suspects it wasn’t at the circus.

He gives a curt nod.

“Can you show me?” The words leave her mouth before she can second-guess them. Jin has never used swords before. Maybe she should be afraid of hurting herself, but she knows Lee won’t let that happen.

Zuko should say no. They’re his swords—all right, he might have stolen them from the guard at Pao’s tea shop, but they’re his now. He remembers the last time he tried to teach someone else, and how that turned out.

(“I hate you,” Lee said. Yesterday he’d seen Zuko as a big brother. But now he knew who Zuko was, what he was, and all that admiration had vanished.)

(It didn’t matter what a random farmboy thought. Zuko knew his own destiny. He was going to capture the Avatar, he was going to return home, he was going to reclaim his birthright. This was what he was meant to do. He knew it in his bones.)

(So why did he feel so unstable?)

He’s about to shake his head when he sees Jin’s eyes—hopeful, pleading—and she pulls a yes out of him.

Jin thrusts the swords forward the way Lee showed her. She overreaches and trips, barely dropping them in time to hit the ground with her hands out.

Lee helps her to her feet. Despite the cool of night, his skin is warm. “Are you okay?”

The question strikes her as odd. “Yes. Are you?”

“I’m not the one who fell.”

“I’m not the one who apparently didn’t sleep in this morning.” Jin gestures to the darkness under his unblemished eye.

“I wake up at dawn. Always have. It’s a”—he leans in a little closer before continuing his sentence in a whisper—“a firebender thing.”

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “You can talk about it if you want to. I know it must be hard being…you know.” (She doesn’t want to be overheard.) “Especially after the Fire Nation takeover.”

Lee cringes. “Yeah. That.”

Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she asks, “Do you know anything about what happened? We only hear bits and rumors in the Lower Ring.”

“Azula and her friends got inside the walls somehow. She teamed up with the Dai Li, and they overthrew the Earth King together.”

“Who’s Azula?”

“…the Fire Nation princess.”

That matches the story Jin has already heard, but it still seems unbelievable. “Isn’t she, like, fourteen? How could one person that age conquer Ba Sing Se? Even the Dragon of the West couldn’t do it.”

“She’s a prodigy,” Lee says immediately. “And…she had help.”

Where did he learn the princess’s name? Was she involved in whatever turned him and Mushi into refugees? There are a thousand questions on her lips, but she knows better than to ask. The Lower Ring has one cardinal rule: Do not bring up someone else’s past. She’ll stick to less emotionally fraught topics. “Help?”

“Two friends.” He looks away. “And her brother.”

Jin still isn’t sure how four kids could manage such a feat easier than one, but she decides to drop it. Lee looks pretty uncomfortable.

“So, anything new with your uncle?” 

His hands curl into fists and his eyebrow jolts downward. “Why do you care so much about him?” On the surface, it looks like just another tantrum, but Jin has spent enough time with Lee to recognize the anxiety underneath.

“He isn’t okay, is he.” It’s not a question.

Agni, what is he supposed to say to that? Jin can see through his lies without even trying, but the truth isn’t an option, either. The truth would tear them apart forever.

He decides to go with a half-truth. “Uncle did something wrong. He got in trouble with the Fire Nation, and he’s not here anymore.”

“That’s terrible,” Jin says. “Do you know if he’s still alive?”

“Yes.” Then, after a moment, he recognizes the ambiguity of this reponse. “Yes, he’s alive.”

“Where are they keeping him?”

“How should I know?” The reply tastes bitter on his tongue because, of course, he knows exactly where Uncle is. Zuko is the one who put him there.

Jin picks up the swords and holds them out to him. “So, who are you staying with right now? Your parents?”

They fit neatly in the scabbard hanging from his belt, right next to his knife. “Why are you being so nosy?”

“I’m just curious,” she says smoothly, an irritating smile on her lips. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. I can talk about me for a while.”

He doesn’t know very much about Jin, other than that she eats a lot and loves the Firelight Fountain. She must see this in his face, because her smile grows even larger.

Zuko doesn’t trust people who smile a lot. Smiles are an easy method of disguising your true intentions. There’s a reason he initially assumed Jin was spying on him.

Nevertheless, he feels the strangest urge to smile back.

“I live in an apartment three blocks south of here with my parents,” Jin says. “They came to the city as refugees after their homes were destroyed. My favorite food is gaifan, my favorite color is yellow, and my favorite animal is the badgermole.”

A lot of information to dump on somebody at once, but Jin figures that it will take Lee’s mind off his uncle. Maybe it will even encourage him to open up a little.

“That’s the whole Earth Kingdom’s favorite animal.” Lee’s voice has lost its earlier rage and is now comfortably settled at his usual prickly tone.

“Are they yours?”

He shakes his head, but says nothing.

She pokes him in the stomach. “Then what’s your favorite animal, tough guy?”

He mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like turtleducks.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

His whole face scrunches up like a dried fig. “Turtleducks.”

“Turtleducks?”

“They’re cute, all right?!”

Jin can’t help it. She laughs. There’s something undeniably hilarious about a grumpy firebending swordsman whose favorite animal is a turtleduck. She’d been expecting “saber-toothed mooselion”, not something so…harmless.

But Lee’s right. They are cute.

“Stop making fun of me,” he says.

“I’m not…I mean, I’m not trying to. But it is a little silly, don’t you think?”

“I used to feed them with my mother.”

There’s a dark undercurrent in his voice. Did something happen to his mom? He didn’t want to talk about his parents before. Maybe that’s why.

She thinks back to earlier this morning, when she and Mom had jook together. Jin can’t imagine what it would be like to lose her.

Why did he say that? He never talks about Mother. The one time he did…it didn’t end well.

(The Water Tribe girl had lost her mother, too. She offered to heal his scar. He betrayed her anyway.)

(Maybe she was right. Maybe war and violence and hatred was in his blood.)

“I shouldn’t have laughed at you,” Jin says. “A lot of people have lost a parent. The Fire Nation is ruthless.”

Her attempts at comfort feel more like a punch to the gut. Jin hates the Fire Nation. She’d hate him if she knew the truth. “You said your parents were refugees.”

“Like you, yeah.”

Jin’s parents are not like him. They were fleeing events out of their control, while Zuko was fleeing the consequences of his own actions.

She glances southward—where her apartment is, Zuko remembers. “I should be getting back. This time tomorrow?”

He should say no. The honorable thing would be to say no.

“Yes,” he says.

Chapter Text

Jin still remembers the story of how her parents first met.

“I was heading to the market,” Mom began, “when I bumped into the most handsome man I had ever seen. He worked at the dumpling cart, you know.”

“Were the dumplings good?” Jin asked.

Mom laughed. “Yes, bǎobéi.* The dumplings were excellent. But it was the man selling them who caught my eye. I asked him out, and we went to the Firelight Fountain together. That was when he asked me to marry him.”

Love at first sight isn’t supposed to be real, but Mom and Dad are as close to it as one can get. Jin has spent most of her life yearning for a romance like theirs. Perhaps that’s why she always takes guys she likes to the Firelight Fountain, in the hopes that one will sweep her off her feet the way Dad did for Mom.

Lee…Lee hasn’t done that. But he’s come closer than any other boy Jin has met. He makes her heart explode like a cloud of buzzard wasps leaving a hive. She wants to know everything about him, peel back the outer secrets and discover the person inside.

She feels a little guilty about not telling her parents, but they wouldn’t understand. Firebenders destroyed everything they had—their homes, their families, even the one city where they’d believed themselves to be safe. Lee isn’t at fault, but he still wields fire at his fingertips. To most people, he’s still one of them.

But Jin made a decision a long time ago: when her mind and heart conflict, she will always choose to follow her heart. Her heart will never steer her wrong.

Zuko is supposed to say no. Instead he keeps saying yes, like the dishonorable traitor he is.

(Azula said he restored his own honor. Azula always lies.)

But he can’t help it—Jin pulls him toward her like a compass needle to the South Pole. She is beautiful and kind and unlike any girl he’s ever met. When she speaks, there are no hidden meanings or implications. When she wants something, she asks for it plainly. He doesn’t have to guess at her intentions the way he does for Azula and Mai.

(More excuses, a familiar voice says inside his mind. So disrespectful. I never wanted to do this, but you leave me no choice.)

“This zoo was built by the Avatar,” Jin says.

Zuko glares at the rabbaroo in the enclosure in front of them. “Good for him.” Even to himself he sounds resentful, but how can he not be? The stupid Avatar keeps haunting him even beyond the funeral pyre.

“He liked animals.” She smiles, and that’s the last straw for Zuko—the Avatar’s taken enough from him, he shouldn’t be taking smiles from the girl he loves.

(Loves? Where did that come from?)

He ignores the thought. “You sound like you’d rather be here with him instead of me.”

Jin laughs, which would be a lovely sound if they weren’t discussing Zuko’s greatest enemy. “Don’t be ridiculous, Lee. He’s only twelve. I just want him to save the world, same as everyone else.”

“He won’t be doing that,” he says to spite her. “He’s dead.”

“No, he’s not.”

The doubts that have plagued him since that day return in full force. She could be right. The Water Tribe girl had magic spirit water, remember? There wasn’t any body. Besides, you’d know if he were dead.

“Yes, he is,” Zuko says more for himself than for her. “Azula shot him with lightning. He’s dead.”

“We thought he was dead a hundred years ago. We were wrong back then, and I have to believe we’re wrong this time, too.” She closes her eyes. “I have to believe there’s still a chance for peace.”

“Of course there’s still a chance for peace. We’ve got peace already. Now that the Fire Nation has taken Ba Sing Se, the war is basically over.”

“That’s not peace!” In all the time he’s known her, she has never so much as raised her voice, and now she is yelling. It sends a thrill down his spine. “Would you call what Ba Sing Se was like under the Dai Li ‘peace’? When the old man next door got arrested for saying the wrong thing, was that peace? When the Fire Nation lock up earthbenders just for using there gifts, is that peace? You can’t have peace when you have oppression. I thought you would know that.”

Her words make too much sense for him to ignore. He remembers a line he read when he was fourteen, back when he painstakingly memorized every Avatar-related text he could find. It was in a letter from Kyoshi to the Earth King, from right after the death of Chin the Conqueror. Only justice will bring peace.

He’ll talk to Father about it when he gets back. Surely there’s a way to spread the Fire Nation’s goodness all over the world without doing crazy things like enslaving earthbenders. Father might not even know about the atrocities being carried out in his name; if that’s the case, Zuko will be greatly rewarded for telling him.

(Like you were rewarded for sticking up for the 41st?)

“I know something’s bothering you,” Jin says. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

Zuko looks back at the rabbaroo. It has three adorable joeybunnies in its pouch, but they’re not enough to make him feel better. “I’m not the person you think I am.”

She doesn’t say anything, but she does slide closer so that their shoulders are touching.

“I did something…something you wouldn’t agree with. I had to do it,” he adds in a feeble justification. “It was my duty, it was the only way to regain my honor. But…by doing it, I hurt someone. Someone who cared a lot about me. And now…now I should feel proud. I did exactly what I was supposed to do, I’m about to get everything I’ve ever wanted. I should be happy. But instead…instead, I’m…”

Her hand slips into his. “I think I get what you’re saying. You did what you thought was right, but now you feel awful inside. Like you’re torn between your mind and your heart.”

“Yeah,” he says, surprised. “How did you know?”

“A long time ago, there was a homeless man who lived one block away from us. I wanted to give him some of our food, but Dad said not to. He said that the man might be dangerous. I listened to him at first, but I felt so terrible about it. After a week, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I didn’t eat as much one night and took some dumplings to the spot where the man lived. But by the time I got there, he was gone. The Dai Li had arrested him for stealing food. If I’d acted sooner…I don’t know. Maybe I could have saved him.”

It’s not the same thing at all. Jin’s mistake was one of omission; Zuko actively chose to betray Uncle. Still, the story strikes a chord. “What should I do?”

She reaches up and touches his scar. He can’t feel it—that side has been numb since it happened—but he knows from the way her hand is positioned that she is being gentle. He doesn’t push her away.

“You should follow your heart,” she says. “Sometimes your mind will play tricks on you, but your heart will never steer you wrong.”

One week after the fall of Ba Sing Se, Jin takes her crush to a play she’s never seen before. It’s apparently a Fire Nation original that got unexpectedly popular in the Earth Kingdom because of a vigilante who fights in cosplay. The script’s a little cheesy, so she expects Lee to make fun of it. Instead his face lights up like a crystal lamp.

“How did you know this was my favorite play?” he asks.

“I picked it because it’s a romance. I didn’t even know you liked plays.”

“Of course I like plays.” A puff of smoke literally comes out of his nose. Thankfully the theatre is dark enough that no one else sees. “Mother used to take me to this play every year on Em—I mean, on this island near where we lived.”

She leans in toward his good ear. “Is this island in the Fire Nation?”

It’s a question she’s been asking herself for a while. Initially she assumed that Lee was an Earth Kingdom war child, but with every successive day they spend together she finds this harder to believe. It’s right there in the way he never gives any details about where exactly he’s from. How he tenses up every time she mentions the Fire Nation’s crimes.

(Or maybe it’s the eyes. She’s seen war children before, but she’s never seen eyes that gold.)

Lee raises the program so it covers his face. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.” She leans her head against his shoulder. It’s like being in a sauna. “I don’t care where you’re from, as long as you’re on our side now.”

He stiffens underneath her. Jin sits back up, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

“‘Lee’ doesn’t sound like a Fire Nation name.”

He lowers the program enough for her to see the beginnings of a smile. “It is, actually. There’s a million Lees in the Fire Nation. But…it’s not my name.”

“What’s your name?”

“Zuko,” he says, so quietly she barely catches it.

Zuko. The name sounds familiar, but she can’t quite place it. What she does know is that the name fits the boy next to her much better than Lee did. She sits close to Zuko, letting his warmth surround her as the curtains rise for Love Amongst the Dragons.

This production is actually pretty good. Better than the Ember Island Players, anyway, though that isn’t a high bar.

“So, Zuko,” Jin says to him as they walk out, “I never pegged you for a romantic.”

“I just like the fight scenes.” He’d say that he likes the Dark Water Spirit, but that might be giving himself away.

“Sure you do.” She nudges him. “That’s why you cried when the Dragon Emperor was turned mortal.”

“It was sad! He thought he would never be with his wife again!”

She stops walking. “There’s nothing wrong with liking romance, Zuko.” She uses his name a lot. He should tell her to stop, but he likes the way she says it.

“I didn’t mind watching it with you,” he says.

“I didn’t mind watching it with you, either.” And then she kisses him.

The only thing that exists is Jin, is her lips on his as they melt into each other. He can’t help but kiss back, losing himself in the thrill of the moment. Every muscle in his body has been aching for this. He forgets about Azula, about Father, about who he is and what he’s done.

Five minutes and a lifetime later, Jin stops.

“I love you, Zuko.” Her eyes meet his. She’s waiting for a response, for an I love you, too, and Zuko wants nothing more than to give it to her.

But he can’t.

He can’t because he’s not who she thinks he is. Zuko the firebender who is on the Earth Kingdom’s side could have a life with Jin. Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation cannot.

Jin told him to follow his heart, but that’s not possible right now.

“I love you, Zuko,” she murmurs under her breath. She never meant to say it, but it’s true. She does love him—more than she’s ever loved any of the boys she used to go on dates with. He’s sweet and brave and incredibly handsome. She wants to be with him forever.

A minute passes. Then another. Zuko does not say I love you, too.

Instead he pulls away, lets go of Jin’s hands and steps backward so they are no longer touching. He looks down at the ground like he’s ashamed. His smile is gone.

“You shouldn’t,” he says at last.

She blinks, unsure if she heard correctly. “I shouldn’t what?”

“Love me,” he says. “You don’t know who I am, the things I’ve done. You think I’m just some random firebender, but I’m not. It’s my fault this city fell. Ba Sing Se is in Fire Nation hands because of me.”

For once, he doesn’t seem to be lying. But that can’t be right. Zuko told her himself that Ba Sing Se was conquered by Fire Princess Azula, her friends…

…and her brother.

Jin forces herself to meet Zuko’s eyes. He doesn’t look any different. And yet, if he’s telling the truth—and he has to be, because she can always recognize his lies—if he’s telling the truth, then he’s someone else entirely.

Except he isn’t, is he? This is the person he’s been the whole time. The person Jin has spent hours daydreaming about. All this time, she’s longed to peel back the outer layers of the mysterious boy who called himself Lee, and now that she has, she desperately wants to put those layers back.

“Do you understand now?” Zuko—Prince Zuko—balls his hands into fists. A minute ago he was the prettiest boy she had ever laid eyes on, but now she only sees the Fire Prince, the son of the Firelord, the heir to the throne of the country that took everything from Mom and Dad. “My sister killed your precious Avatar. My nation destroyed your parents’ homes. I’ve been lying to you from the day we’ve met. You should hate me.”

She opens her mouth to say that she does, that she despise him with every fiber of her being. But what comes out instead is, “I don’t hate you.”

It’s the truth. Angry as she is with Zuko right now, she can’t bring herself to hate him. She hates the fact of who he is, she hates that any chance they had of love is now shattered, but she will never hate the boy who lit up the Firelight Fountain for her.

But they can’t go back to before. Jin might be a romantic, but there are lines she will not cross, and dating Fire Nation royalty is one of them. She gives Zuko one last smile and walks away.

Chapter Text

Zuko steps into the Crystal Catacombs. He tries not to think about the time he was imprisoned here.

“You have ten minutes.” The Dai Li agent tucks the coins that Zuko gave him inside his sleeve. “Any longer and I’ll have to tell the princess.” The wall rises between them, cleanly covering what was once an entrance and leaving Zuko trapped inside.

Not trapped. This isn’t like last time. But memories of last time keep popping up—the sound of the waterbender’s tears, the gentle way she placed her hand on his scar.

(Jin touched his scar, too.)

Zuko forces all other thoughts from his mind. He’s here for a reason.

Uncle sits crosslegged in the middle of the cavern. He wears the same green Earth Kingdom clothes from the day of the coup, now ragged and smelly. Wild strands of gray hair frame his haggard face—a face that appears to have aged decades in only a couple of weeks.

“You brought this on yourself, you know,” Zuko says.

Uncle does not reply. In retrospect, it isn’t the best conversation starter.

Zuko forges ahead anyway. “I don’t…I don’t regret my decision.” (The words taste like a lie.) “But lately I’ve been feeling”—guilty—“confused. Like I can’t tell right from wrong anymore. Everything’s so complicated.”

A year ago, Zuko was sure he knew his own destiny. He would find the Avatar, capture him, and regain Father’s love his honor. Now, though…now Zuko isn’t sure of anything. The entire world has flipped upside down. The Avatar is a child—a dead child. Uncle is a traitor. Zuko has his honor back, and he’s still not happy.

(And then there’s Jin.)

“Jin says I should follow my heart.” He realizes, too late, that he shouldn’t have mentioned her name out loud. Thankfully only Uncle can hear him.

For the first time, Uncle speaks. “Jin is a very wise young woman, to say that.”

“‘Follow my heart.’” Zuko utters the words like a curse. “What does that even mean? Why does everyone have to talk in riddles?”

He half expects Uncle to chime in with one of those infernal proverbs, but he says nothing.

Zuko’s field of vision narrow even further than it did after the Agni Kai. There’s a buzzing in his ears. The air around him is too thick, too much all of a sudden. He drives his fist into the wall.

He yells for a while. Calls a Uncle a crazy old man, tells him he should be sleeping in a gutter.

It doesn’t make Zuko feel any better.

“Pao’s has never been as good since Mushi left,” Dad says over dinner.

Jin nudges the gaifan with her chopsticks. Even her favorite food won’t distract her from where this conversation is headed.

Mom swallows a mouthful of rice. “He was such a nice old man. I wonder how he’s doing now.”

Judging from Zuko’s remarks, Mushi isn’t doing very well. Not that Jin can tell her parents that.

“Didn’t Jin go on a date with his nephew?” Dad asks. “What was the kid’s name again? Ling?”

“His name was Lee.” It’s a lie, it’s always been a lie, but what else can she say? Oh, yeah, his name is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation and he recently helped conquer our home? It sounds ridiculous.

Wait. If Zuko is the Firelord’s son, does that mean Mushi is the Dragon of the West?

She decides she’ll think about that later.

Mom puts her chopsticks down. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Jin says. “Why would anything be wrong?”

“You’ve hardly touched your food.”

Jin forces down a few mouthfuls and barely stifles a gag. For once in her lifetime, she has no appetite.

“May I be excused?” she asks.

Mom and Dad exchange a look.

“I suppose you may,” Dad says. “But are you sure you don’t want to—”

Jin leaves before he can finish his sentence.

Zuko practices what he’s going to say to Mai. He didn’t practice before talking to Uncle, and maybe that’s why everything went so wrong.

(Uncle wouldn’t even look at him.)

He should probably start with a greeting of some kind. He won’t need to introduce himself, because Mai already knows him, but a “hello” still seems a good choice.

Hello, Mai. If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you for a while about my destiny. A good start, but probably better not to use the word “destiny”. It might make him sound self-centered. How about: Hello, Mai. I’ve been pretty confused lately and was wondering if I could get your thoughts. That was better, but still not quite right.

Hello, Mai. I was hoping that perhaps you could explain why I feel so guilty when I haven’t done anything wrong. At least, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. I did exactly what I was supposed to do, and yet I still feel guilty. Can you explain why?

Hello, Mai. I want to know if there’s any way to get rid of these stupid nagging thoughts I get about the Avatar and his Water Tribe girlfriend. Also if you could help me get over this Earth Kingdom girl, that would be great. Thanks in advance.

He rounds the corner. None of his planned conversation starters sound very good. He finally decides to improvise—that’s what he does most of the time, and it usually turns out all right.

(You never think things through, a familiar voice warns.)

Even if the words don’t come out right, Mai will understand. She’s been patient with him all week.

The door opens easily. “Hello, Mai…” All other thoughts disappear from his mind when he sees what’s happening inside.

Mai is kissing Ty Lee.

Jin has a small bedroom. There’s barely enough space for the mattress and the wardrobe. It’s never bothered her; the room has been like this for as long as she can remember. A detail she never questioned, any more than she would question her parents or her favorite food.

For the first time, Jin wonders what it would be like to have a larger room. One that’s big enough to fit several wardobes and a huge canopy bed. Are the bedrooms in the Earth King’s palace like that? She tries to picture the Firelord’s palace, to imagine what it might look like. Is that the kind of bedroom that Zuko is used to?

She can’t stop thinking about him. She doesn’t know whether that’s because of who he turned out to be, or if it’s just that he was the first guy Jin ever said she loved.

The memory of their kiss rises in her mind, the way her heart accelerated when their lips touched.

“Jin’er, I love you, but I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”

Jin turns and sees Mom standing in the doorway. “Nothing’s wrong,” she says.

Mom gives her a look, the words please do not bullshit me written on her face. “Is this about that boy?”

There isn’t much use denying it, so Jin shrugs.

“We have enough money for a train ticket or two,” Mom says. “If you want, we could find Mushi’s new teashop in the Upper Ring so you could get closure.” It’s not as extravagant as it sounds—Mom recently found a new job. Nevertheless, it’s a thoughtful gesture.

“I doubt it will help.” I doubt the teashop’s even still there.

Mom sits down next to her on the mattress. “I don’t mean to push, Jin, but it’s been weeks since Mushi and his nephew moved away. If it’s still bothering you now—”

“It hasn’t been weeks,” she says. “Not for me.”

The story comes spilling out. Not the Lee-is-actually-Fire-Nation-royalty part, of course. She just says something vague about him not being who she thought he was. But everything else.

“I knew he was lying the whole time,” she says, “but I didn’t…I guess I figured that whatever he was lying about, it couldn’t be that important. Does that make me a hypocrite, for being upset now?”

“If you are, then so is everyone else,” Mom says. “I don’t think there’s a single human being on this planet who has never made an assumption they’d later regret. One mistake shouldn’t make you a bad person.”

Jin doesn’t know if she’d call Zuko a mistake. Even now, even knowing everything, she’s glad she got to spend time with him. Mom thinks she’s upset because “Lee” broke her heart, but Jin isn’t angry with Zuko. She’s angry at herself for not being strong enough to stay after learning his real identity. For not following her heart.

She shifts closer to Mom. “I…I decided a long time ago that I would always follow my heart. I figured that my heart wouldn’t steer me wrong. But it did steer me wrong, and now I don’t know what to trust.”

“If you’re looking for a source of infallible advice, I’m afraid that doesn’t exist. But I think you had the right idea, trusting your heart. It might not always lead you to the right path, but it’ll get you as close to it as you could expect. Just try to stay safe, and you’re good.”

“What if I make a mistake? What if I hurt someone?”

“Then you apologize. And you try not to do it again. You’ll waste your life if you worry too much about mistakes. Do what you feel is right.”

Mom pulls Jin into a hug. They sit like that for a while, before they return to finish the now-cold gaifan. Wasting food is not an approved activity in their household.

“How long has this been going on?” Zuko is still reeling from the scene he just witnessed. Same-sex couples are illegal in the Fire Nation, and he has never known Mai to be a rulebreaker.

Ty Lee wraps her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. “Since just after the coup. Don’t tell Azula.”

He isn’t planning too—that would make him more of a hypocrite than usual. A boy going on secret dates with an Earth Kingdom girl is just as bad as a girl exchanging secret kisses with her female best friend. Worse, maybe, because at least Ty Lee is Fire Nation. At least Mai isn’t bordering on treason.

“This doesn’t mean…” Mai folds her hands across her lap. “My feelings for you were real. Just because I’m dating a girl right now doesn’t mean I don’t still like boys.”

That sentence is so bizarre it takes Zuko a moment to fully understand it. “Obviously you still like boys. Everyone likes boys.”

Mai and Ty Lee glance at each other, then back at him.

“Um…not everyone,” Ty Lee says. “Most boys don’t like other boys.”

“Trust me, they do.” It’s the only way Firelord Sozin’s law makes any sense. Everyone is equally tempted, and it is their duty to choose the path that is better for society. Zuko reminded himself of this basic fact every time Jet said something on that ferry that made his right cheek heat up. This is completely normal, he told himself. Every boy goes through this. I just have to ignore the feelings and follow Agni’s will.

But if it isn’t normal, if most boys really are only ever attracted to girls, then something is wrong with Zuko. Some part of him has been broken for at least as long as the past month. Possibly longer.

Ty Lee lets go of Mai. She leans forward, chin propped up by her fists. “Zuko…you do know that not everyone is bi, right?”

“Bi?” he repeats.

“Bisexual,” Ty Lee says like that explains anything.

“What in Agni’s name is that supposed to mean?”

“Bisexual people like both boys and girls. I’m bi, and so is Mai, and…” Ty Lee frowns. “Honestly, it sounds like you might be, too. But most people aren’t.”

Mai stands up. “We should go. Dinner’s almost ready, and Azula will be waiting.” She leaves the room with Ty Lee. Zuko follows them after a moment.

Bisexual. Huh.

Jin isn’t sure when she makes her decision.

Maybe it happens after she passes that familiar intersection one too many times. She remembers the hours she spent learning to use his swords. There wasn’t enough time for her to truly master them, but she improved a lot since the first night she tried it.

Maybe Jin comes to her conclusion after Mom retells the tale of Oma and Shu. Of their love that was so powerful that they stopped caring about the war that separated their kingdoms. As a girl, Jin would often wish she could be part of a romance like that. She wonders if she is a coward, to want Oma and Shu’s love without any of the consequences.

Or maybe it hits her when she wakes up at midnight after having a crazy dream about turtleducks and the first thought that enters her head is I should talk to Lee about this, before she remembers.

In any case, she eventually realizes that Mom was right. Jin does need closure. Maybe she and Zuko will figure out how to be friends again. Maybe they’ll even get back together, though that sounds like a stretch even in her daydreams. But whatever happens, she knows that they need to talk.

Jin takes the money Mom offered and heads to the train station.

Zuko knows exactly when he makes his decision.

It’s a few days after that eye-opening conversation with Mai and Ty Lee, one day before they are scheduled to leave Ba Sing Se. Azula looks straight into Zuko’s eyes and asks him what’s wrong.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says. “Why would anything be wrong?”

Azula flicks some dirt out from underneath her nails. “Oh, no reason. You just seemed angry. Angrier than usual, anyway. Is something bothering you?” She sounds sincere, without any trace of manipulation in her voice that Zuko could detect, but he’s always been shit at picking up on that stuff.

Whether she meant it or not, unfortunately, Azula’s right. Zuko has never been a particularly calm person—even he knows this—but lately the meditations he usually uses to fend off the anger haven’t been working. The tantrums are happening more frequently. The by-now-familiar ball of rage in his chest grows larger every day.

He knows he won’t be able to get away with pretending everything is fine; Azula is too smart for that. “I’m not angry at you, if that’s what you’re wondering. I’m just…” (What did he tell Jin?) “I’m just angry in general.”

Azula crosses her right leg over the left one. “I get it, Zuzu. Three years away from home, surrounded by traitors and filth…it would make anyone a little angry. Once we’re back in the Fire Nation, your head should be clearer.”

Traitors and filth.

He remembers the lonely days he and Uncle spent on the ship in the early part of his banishment, before either of them knew for sure that the Avatar would return. (Sure, Zuko pretended that he was completely confident, but even back then he had his doubts.) Uncle gave him salve for the burn. Uncle accompanied him to the Air Temples. Uncle might have constantly annoyed Zuko with riddles and tea and games of Pai Sho, but Uncle never left his nephew’s side.

When they reunited after Zhao blew up their ship, Uncle’s face had lit up with such obvious relief that even Zuko could recognize it. Uncle’s eyes were red and swollen. Like he’d been crying.

It doesn’t make any sense. Uncle shouldn’t have been in that much grief over the death of a failure and an embarrassment.

I think of you as my own, Uncle had said. But Father wouldn’t have cried.

Zuko remembers the tea shop, how Uncle was so excited about his awful leaf water. More memories creep in: Uncle teaching him how to redirect lightning, the battle against Azula in the ghost town where Uncle was shot, the moment underneath Lake Laogai when Zuko decided to set the Avatar’s bison free. The Avatar asking if they could have been friends. The burns on Song’s leg. The hatred in Lee’s eyes. The waterbender’s hand on his scar.

When the memories fade, so does the fog that has been suffocating his mind all week. No more anger, no more confusion…just clarity.

He knows what he has to do. But before he can do it, he has to say goodbye to someone.

When he arrives at the train station, Jin is waiting for him. 

Chapter Text

Zuko gapes at her.

So, she surprised him for once. Nice. “I see you had the same idea I did.” Which is a relief, because otherwise Jin would’ve had to sneak into the palace to find him.

“Jin…you…” he rubs the bridge of his nose. “Never mind. I came here to tell you I’m leaving.”

“Oh, right,” she says. “I knew that.”

“You did?”

“Well, I knew that the Fire Princess was leaving. It’s kind of common knowledge. I figured you’d be going with her, since…” She trails off. The train station might not be especially crowded, but it’s still a public place. Bad things would happen if they were overheard.

“Yeah,” Zuko says. “Let’s talk somewhere more private.’

He takes her to what used to be his uncle’s fancy tea shop. Jin wishes she could have visited when it was up and running. Even deserted, it is substantially nicer than Pao’s place.

Zuko pulls out a chair and sits down. Jin takes a seat across from him.

Now that she knows the truth, it’s hard not to stare at him. At the massive burn covering his face. She assumed he got it as part of whatever made him and Mushi refugees in the first place, but that explanation no longer makes sense, because Zuko isn’t a refugee. He’s royalty, and royalty aren’t supposed to have scars.

She won’t bring it up. “You just came to, what, say goodbye? So you won’t feel guilty about going back to the Fire Nation to help your horrible family destroy the world?”

“Arrgggh…I’m not doing that, okay?!” He takes a few deep breaths. “I’m not doing that. I’m going to break Uncle out of prison.”

“What did your uncle do to end up in prison?” It’s hard to imagine a reason why the Fire Nation would lock away their most renowned general.

“He helped the Avatar and his friends. After the Avatar died, Uncle distracted me and Azula so the waterbender could escape with the body.” And then, in a quieter voice: “He wouldn’t even look at me the last time I visited him.”

Long before their first date, Jin was a regular at Pao’s shop, partly because of the excellent tea and partly because of the cute boy who worked there. She remembers noticing the way Mushi’s eyes softened when he looked at his nephew, as though he was always seeing him for the first time. It’s hard to imagine anything changing that—but such a betrayal seems a fairly good explanation.

Although, now that she thinks about it, siding with the Avatar to protect Ba Sing Se feels a little out-of-character for a man who once tried to conquer it. Assuming it was the same guy, of course.

She decides to ask. “Your uncle…is this the same uncle I’m thinking of?”

“I only have one uncle, so probably.”

Definitely the same guy, then. “Why would he turn against the Fire Nation? Didn’t he…”

“Lay siege against the city for one hundred days?” Zuko says the words like an afterthought, like he’s heard them hundreds of times before. He probably has. “That was a long time ago.”

“Five years.”

Zuko’s hand flies up to his scar. “Feels longer sometimes.”

Time to change the subject. “If you were on the Fire Nation’s side two weeks ago, what changed?”

“A lot of things.”

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she says. “What’s your plan to get him out?”

“Plan?”

“Yes, plan. You…do have a plan, right?”

The look on his face immediately reveals that he does not, in fact, have a plan. Also that he might not know what a plan is.

“I guess we’re making it up as we go, then.”

“Who’s we?” he spits the word out like it’s poison.

“I…I assumed we were doing this together?” At least, she thought he’d be okay with it even if it wasn’t what he originally had in mind. Prison breakouts are hard enough in stories. Surely no one would get angry about being offered help.

She should’ve known better than to underestimate Zuko’s temper.

“You’re not coming,” he says.

“Why not?”

Zuko isn’t sure how to answer that question at first. It’s just so obvious.

Because you can barely fight. Because you have a family to protect. Because you might get hurt. Because it won’t look suspicious if someone sees me in the palace, but you are absolutely not supposed to be there. “Because I can do this by myself.”

She stands up, grabs his sleeve. “I’m not doubting you, Zuko, I promise, but…you really think you can beat the Dai Li and the princess all by yourself?”

It takes every baht* of effort he has left to keep from firebending. Logically he knows that the reason Jin doesn’t believe he can beat Azula is because of her reinforcements—not because Jin somehow knows how much better Azula’s bending is. Knowing this does not make him feel better.

(You’ll never catch up.)

“Bold words from someone who can barely swordfight.” He ignores the way Jin’s face crumples up when he says this. (Since when has he been able to read her?) “I’m not going to just storm in and fight her. This is a stealth mission.”

“I can be stealthy.”

“Yeah, well, only one of us has broken into a Fire Nation fort before, and it sure as hell isn’t you.”

She steps backward. “Wait, you did what? When?”

“I broke into Pouhai Stronghold.” A week ago, saying those words would have felt like committing treason all over again, but now it’s almost a relief to admit it out loud. “Admiral Zhao had captured the Avatar, and I wanted him for myself.”

He half-expects Jin to flinch away in disgust. Instead, she just smiles. “Did you get him out?”

Zuko nods.

“You were lucky not to get caught,” she says.

“I was wearing a disguise.”

Her eyes drop to the swords hanging from his belt. “…Please tell me you’re not the Blue Spirit.”

“I’m not the Blue Spirit,” he lies.

She buries her face in her hands. Under her breath she mutters something that sounds like Oma and Shu.

It’s the first time he’s ever heard her swear.

The thing about discovering that the guy you like is actually a prince is that you naturally assume he doesn’t have any more secret identities. That’s it, you think. That’s what he’s been hiding. Now at least I know who he is.

And then it turns out he’s also the Blue Spirit.

Jin’s mind has to take a few minutes to deal with this.

By the time she looks up again, Zuko is gone.

He manages to make it nearly all the way to the palace before he realizes something is wrong.

Zuko can’t put his finger on what, exactly. All he knows is that whenever he turns his head to check his blind spot—he misses having peripheral vision on both sides—there’s a flash of movement. Even when he doesn’t look, he can sense that he’s being followed.

It doesn’t take him long to figure out by who.

“I know you’re there, Jin,” he says. “You really thought you could sneak up on me?”

Jin steps out from behind a building. “Of course not. Why would I think that? I was just…I was heading home.”

Laughter bubbles up in his stomach, rising like hot air until it is impossible to hold it back.

Jin always wanted to hear what Zuko’s laugh sounded like. Now she wishes she could listen to it forever.

“I…I…I…” he gathers his breath. “I cannot believe you made fun of me for being a bad liar. You aren’t any better.”

“Normally I’m better than that,” she says. “It’s easier if I plan in advance.”

There is quiet for a moment as they stare each other down, both unsure what to say. At last Zuko breaks the silence: “You can’t come with me.”

A small corner of her mind considers listening, but the rest won’t even think about it. You can’t come sounds like a rule, and Jin has always hated rules. “I’m not asking for your permission. And I still haven’t heard a good reason why I shouldn’t.”

“You can’t fight.”

“It’s a stealth mission,” she says.

“Azula would wipe the floor with you.”

“Again, stealth mission. I don’t plan on running into her at all.”

“You’re not stealthy.”

“I’ll freely admit that I’m not as stealthy as you are, Mr. Blue Spirit, but I do have a lot of experience avoiding the Dai Li.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt!” he finally shouts.

I don’t want you to get hurt.

Zuko didn’t mean to say it. The words just…burst out of him without permission. He wishes he could take them back, but he’s never been good at lying.

He hasn’t said anything like that for ages. Not even to Uncle—he never needed to, because he knew and Uncle knew and it would be shameful to admit it out loud. Zuko learned three years ago that compassion is a liability. Caring about the wrong person will get you burned. And Jin is definitely the wrong person.

But she’s also sweet, and funny, and a good listener. She knows exactly who Zuko is, and yet she’s still here, following him straight into dangers beyong her comprehension solely because she cares.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, either,” she says.

He opens his mouth to tell her again that she has to leave. Nothing comes out.

At last he gives in. “Fine. But you have to follow my directions, okay?”

“Okay,” Jin says. “Let’s go.”

It’s hard not to stare at the homes in the Upper Ring. Even the smallest is bigger than any house Jin has ever seen before. And the “ordinary” mansions themselves are tiny compared to the Earth King’s palace, which is so enormous that Jin can see it from several blocks away.

The roads buzz with people wearing brightly colored silk robes. The women have immaculately styled hair held up in extravagant headdresses. Jin feels out of place in her dirty Lower Ring clothes. She’s glad when Zuko leads her down a dinghy tunnel.

He lights a flame in his palm. It catches her by surprise, because she’s never seen him directly firebend before. “I paid off a Dai Li agent to take me to the Crystal Catacombs,” Zuko says. “He’ll be waiting for us at the end of this tunnel.”

“Is there a reason you couldn’t get into the prison by yourself?”

“I’m not an earthbender, so no. Even this tunnel only exists because none of the other Dai Li closed it since I was here last.”

Jin looks nervously at the ceiling. It didn’t occur to her that someone could destroy the tunnel with bending. She shudders.

“We should be fine as long as Azula hasn’t figured out where I am,” he says. “If that happens, we’re fucked.”

“You swear a lot for a prince.”

“I lived on a ship for three years. Comes with the territory.”

Three years is a long time, especially since Zuko doesn’t look much older than her. “Why?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Because I was banished? I thought everyone knew that.”

“Believe it or not, the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se isn’t very concerned with your royal family drama.” She notices the way Zuko flinches at the words family drama. “I’m sorry if that was rude.”

“It’s okay,” he says. She knows that’s a lie.

They walk in silence for a few minutes.

“You can ask. Why I was banished.”

She doesn’t want to be nosy, but she can’t help her curiosity. “Why, then? If you’re sure you don’t mind telling me.”

“I spoke out of turn in a war meeting, and then I had to fight an Agni Kai, but I wouldn’t, so—”

“What’s an Agni Kai?”

The flame flickers in his hand. “Firebending duel.”

“Someone challenged you to a duel? But three years ago you would’ve been, what, fourteen?”

“Thirteen,” he says casually, like that isn’t so much worse. “And I did agree to it.”

A thirteen-year-old shouldn’t be able to fight in a duel, regardless of whether they agreed to it or not. But an earlier detail from Zuko’s story sticks out. “If you wanted to fight, why didn’t you?”

“Because the person I thought I was going to fight…wasn’t the person who actually showed up.” His voice breaks a little at the end, like the person who did show up was someone he knew.

“Who was it?”

“Someone else.” He doesn’t elaborate. Apparently he’s done sharing.

He practiced the speech he planned to give to Uncle ahead of time, but Zuko forgets the entire thing the moment they make eye contact. After a few attempts to remember, he gives up.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so, so sorry about what I did. I promise I’ll make it up to you, but right now we have to go. I get that you’re probably still mad at me—”

“I was never mad at you,” Uncle says.

That throws Zuko for a loop. He wants to ask Why not?, but it probably isn’t a good idea to question Uncle’s forgiveness. “Whatever. The point is, we’re getting you out of here.”

“We?” Uncle glances at Jin, who gives a slight wave.

“I didn’t want her to come,” Zuko says. “She insisted.”

Jin leans down and touches one of the huge green crystals protruding from the cavern walls. “Just trying to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Uncle laughs. “That is a difficult task indeed.”

Zuko hates the way his face heats up at the comment.

The agent that Zuko paid off promises to lead them outside by a different route. “Just to be safe,” he says.

Jin feels a little uncomfortable following anyone from the Dai Li, but she trusts Zuko. She can’t pinpoint why—especially since he’s lied to her so much—but some part of her knows that he would never do anything to deliberately put her in danger.

Now is a good time to get an answer to a question she’s had for a while. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I still don’t know your real name, sir.”

The man’s face brightens. “I am General Iroh,” he says. “But you can keep calling me Mushi, if you’d like.”

“Iroh is fine,” she says. “So…what made you decide to turn against the Fire Nation? Didn’t you lay siege to Ba Sing Se?”

“That was not one of my proudest moments, but yes. I led the siege against this city for six hundred days, until I was forced to stop.”

“What stopped you?” The most common story is that the Earth Army managed to expunge the Dragon of the West from the city right before his moment of triumph, using nothing but their own bending and weapons, but Jin has always been skeptical of this account. Something had to have changed to allow such a powerful general to be defeated so easily.

“Grief,” Iroh says simply. “My son died in battle the day we broke down the walls. The pain was too strong to continue fighting.”

“Oh.” It’s a perfect explanation, but somehow Jin never considered it. Maybe she’s never thought of Fire Nation people as having lives and families of their own before. But there is no disputing it now—Iroh’s expression is the same as the one Mom and Dad get when they talk about losing their homes. “That must be hard.”

Iroh strokes his beard. “It is difficult, but I have learned to live with it. To find a new purpose.”

She wants to tell him about her parents, about their struggles to forge a new life in Ba Sing Se. But before she can, a huge hole forms in the ceiling above them.

“We’re here,” the Dai Li agent says.

But when they are all out of the entrance, she realizes that something is wrong. This isn’t outside. Instead, they are in a huge room with a vaulted ceiling and an ornamented green and gold throne.

Sitting on the throne is a girl with amber eyes and a wicked smile.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Princess Azula says.

Chapter Text

Zuko’s first instinct is to fight. He didn’t go through all this trouble freeing Uncle just to be caught here. Before he can attack, though, Uncle shakes his head warningly. Zuko knows why. Spending nearly two weeks away from the sun has undoubtedly been hard on Uncle, and Jin can barely fight at all. Zuko has never beaten Azula in one-on-one combat; he doubts he can do so when she has an entire army of earthbenders behind her.

Fleetingly, he wonders where Mai and Ty Lee are.

“I see you’ve brought a friend, Zuzu.” Azula’s eyes flicker to Jin. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

He won’t take the bait. “How did you know?”

“I have eyes and ears everywhere. Honestly, how could I not know? And by the way, that girl is far too pretty for you.”

“It’s not like that,” he says, even though it sort of is.

Azula stands up. “Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. Zuzu, I need you to put your swords on the ground in front of you, where I can see them. We don’t want any…shall we say, accidents.”

“And if I don’t?”

She gestures to the Dai Li surrounding him. “It’s in your best interests that you do.”

Zuko tries in vain to think of a way out of this.

“I’m waiting,” she says.

No matter how much he racks his head, he can’t come up with another option. The tunnel has been completely sealed by the same Dai Li agent who Zuko thought was in his pocket. Of the three of them, he’s the only one who is at the top of his fighting ability—and even that ability pales next to that of his sister.

Maybe he’ll come up with a plan later. Agni, he hopes he will. Otherwise they’re all done for. But if he wants to get to later, no matter how much he hates it, he has to play by Azula’s rules.

The swords hit the stone floor with a clang.

She kicks the swords out of his reach. “That’s better.”

For siblings, Zuko and Azula are very different.

Zuko, for all his lying, is remarkably straightforward. He doesn’t have a manipulative bone inside his body. Azula, on the other hand…Jin suspects that all of her bones are manipulative. She also seems to be a much better planner than her brother—although that, admittedly, is not an impressive achievement. Jin no longer doubts Azula’s ability to take Ba Sing Se by herself. If anything, it’s surprising she needed any help at all.

Had you asked her yesterday, Jin would’ve said that Zuko was the most badass person she’d ever met. Now she’s not so sure. He looks genuinely afraid of Azula. Jin didn’t think Zuko was afraid of anybody. If this girl scares him, that means she must be even stronger than Jin was led to believe.

Azula’s eyes remain fixed on her brother and her uncle. She doesn’t spare Jin a glance. It’s as though the only people who matter to the Fire Princess are those of a similar status.

That’s when it hits her. Azula might be a better fighter, she might be smarter and stronger than any of them are right now, but she’s not used to paying attention to anyone she considers beneath her. She is good at handling threats, sure, but she has no reason to regard Jin as one. Azula sees Jin the same way rich people from the Upper Ring do—as an ignorant peasant who isn’t worth bothering with.

But that’s okay. Jin is used to being overlooked, and she knows how to be sneaky.

“I suppose I was mistaken when I said you weren’t a traitor,” Azula says. “Disappointing.”

“Did you just admit you were wrong about something?” Zuko knows he shouldn’t taunt her, but he has to keep his sister’s attention. He and Uncle are going down either way, but if he distracts her long enough, Jin might be able to escape. He owes that much to her.

Azula purses her lips. “There’s a first time for everything.”

“You’re losing your edge.”

“If you say so.” She places a hand on his shoulder. It’s nothing like Jin’s touches, which are always gentle. This reminds him more of an anchor plummeting into the sea. “I don’t think Father will be surprised. He always knew you were a coward.”

The Zuko of last week would have hotly contested this claim, but the Zuko of now can’t bring himself to care. A man who challenges a thirteen-year-old to an Agni Kai is not a good judge of bravery anyway.

“But then, you knew that already, didn’t you, Zuzu?” Azula says. “It’s branded right on your face, after all.”

He resists the urge to touch the scar. He won’t give her the satisfaction.

Azula turns around and waves her hand. “Enough talk. The Crystal Catacombs should be able to hold a few more prisoners, correct?” she asks one of the Dai Li.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Then let’s go.”

But before they can go anywhere, Jin runs at Azula and swings at her back. She’s using Zuko’s swords, he realizes. The ones he threw on the ground. Because apparently she thinks she can fight.

He makes plans to yell at her if they survive. As it is, he knows he won’t be able to live with himself if Azula kills her.

Zuko summons fire daggers and says, “We’re not going anywhere.”

The fight is not turning out well.

Azula is even more powerful than Jin expected. Her fire is blue for some reason—Jin will ask Zuko about it if they survive this. The only reason she isn’t dead yet is because Azula and the Dai Li are still in shock. They’re probably too smart to ever imagine that an untrained Lower Ring girl would do something so reckless. That’s bought them some time, but it won’t last forever.

Jin glances over to where Zuko and Iroh are fighting. She’s never seen Zuko fight before; the flames shooting from his hands are mesmerizing. Iroh is less impressive, but that seems more like a side effect of his prolonged imprisonment than anything else.

In the split second she is distracted, something hard slams into her gut. The swords slip from her hands as she crashes against a pillar.

Nothing’s broken. She might have a concussion, though, judging from the headache and the ringing in her ears. Azula is doing something with her fingers, but it’s too blurry for Jin to make out.

She does notice when Zuko jumps in front of her.

It’s only by a stroke of luck (since when does he have luck?) that Zuko is able to ground himself just before the lightning comes. He follows Uncle’s instructions as best he can. Let the energy in your body flow. Turn your opponent’s energy against them.

He considers, briefly, shooting the lightning back in Azula’s direction. But he can’t do that. Even now that their relationship is broken beyond repair, she is still his little sister.

The electricity sinks into a pillar a few feet away from Azula.

She laughs. “Oh, Zuzu, you should have killed me when you had the chance. Now you’re all out of energy.”

She’s right. Redirecting that lightning took a lot out of him. He doubts he can do it again. Behind him, Jin lies helpless on the floor. Uncle is still fighting, but even he seems to be slowing. They’re going to lose.

Zuko shifts into a familiar stance. He’s used to being on the losing side of things, and he’s never let it stop him before. If he’s going down, he’s going down fighting.

(Never give up without a fight.)

Azula positions herself to release what will undoubtedly be another lightning bolt—

A flurry of knives pin Azula to a column by her sleeves.

”What are you doing?” she demands.

Mai sighs. “Do you really have to ask?”

Two Dai Li fall to the ground, revealing Ty Lee behind them. “Sorry we’re late, Zuko. Azula wouldn’t tell us where she was.”

“Clearly I was right not to,” Azula says. “You’re both traitors.”

Zuko can’t help the way his jaw drops. “Ty Lee? Mai? Are you…helping me?”

“Obviously.” Mai pulls another knife out from inside her sleeve. “Now take your uncle and your girlfriend and go, you idiot.”

“You shouldn’t—”

She throws the knife at a Dai Li agent. “If you’re going to say ‘you don’t have to do this for me, I don’t deserve it’ then the next knife is headed towards you. The front door is unlocked. Use it.”

“But—”

Uncle grabs his arm. “Prince Zuko, it would be wise for you to listen.”

“Right.” Zuko shrugs Uncle off and runs toward Jin. If Mai is this dead set on helping him, he might as well make her efforts worth it.

A calloused hand grips her wrist and pulls Jin to her feet. She can vaguely make out Zuko’s features through the haze of her impaired vision. If it weren’t for the scar, she doesn’t know that she would have recognized him.

Azula said something about their father’s displeasure being branded on his face. Jin doesn’t want to consider the implications of that.

“Are you okay?” Zuko asks, surprisingly gentle.

She nods.

“Then let’s get out of here.”

“What’s with the blue fire?” Jin asks once they’re out of the palace.

“Princess Azula is a prodigious bender,” Iroh says.

Zuko clasps her hand tighter. He hasn’t let go since the battle. “She was born lucky,” he says as though he’s repeated it dozens of times before. There is a gravity in the words that Jin cannot quite parse.

“She wasn’t lucky today,” Jin says.

“Speaking of lucky, it’s a miracle you’re still alive. What in Agni’s name were you thinking, going after her like that? You almost died!”

Jin nudges his shoulder. “I would’ve died if I hadn’t done anything. So would you, by the way, you’re welcome for that.”

He tries to glare at her, but the smile in his eyes is obvious.

Zuko is grateful Jin hasn’t asked any questions about the scar. She’s smart enough to have guessed by now—Azula practically spelled it out for her—but he doesn’t know if he’s comfortable discussing it yet.

Jin doesn’t even broach the topic of Azula after one passing question about her fire. He’s certain she’s wondering, but she seems to know better than to ask out loud. That’s one thing he likes about her: she knows when to keep her mouth shut.

“So, nephew,” Uncle says. “Where do we go next?”

Zuko blinks in surprise. It’s not like he’s never picked their destinations before; he has plenty of experience plotting routes from the ship. But Uncle hasn’t looked at him with that must trust since…since before the coup. Maybe earlier.

Still, it’s an easy question. “We’re going to find the Avatar’s friends, and see if there’s anything we can do to help defeat my father.”

Jin beams at him. “I told you to follow your heart.” Her smile is beautiful, and he realizes in a flash that after today, he might never see her again.

Summoning the courage, he pulls her into a kiss.

His lips are warm. So are his hands: one curled around her waist, the other draped over her shoulder. He’s a good kisser for someone who probably hasn’t had a lot of girlfriends. Maybe it was part of whatever court training he received. No matter the reason, it’s a better kiss than she’s had in a long, long time.

She’s a little disappointed when it ends.

“I suspected something might be going on between the two of you,” Iroh says.

Zuko blushes. “It’s not what you think.” After a moment: “Okay, maybe it is what you think. But it’s not…permanent, or anything. I just wanted to do it one last time before we leave—”

Not this again. “Zuko, I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re—why would you even want to?”

“Because I love you.”

His eyes widen. “…Still? Even though you know—”

“Yep.” She isn’t sure when she realized it, exactly, whether it happened during the battle or just before or after it. But she can’t deny that it’s true. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.”

“I do feel the same way. That’s the problem.”

Awkward silence.

“Look, I understand there might be a law against dating Earth Kingdom peasants—”

“—You’re not a—”

“—but the good news is that you can change the law if you become Firelord,” Jin says. “And if you don’t, then I think we’ll have bigger problems to worry about.”

“Uncle’s going to be the next Firelord, not me.”

Iroh opens his mouth as if to disagree, but then closes it again.

“Then he can do it,” she says. “I know it’s not going to be easy, but…I’d like to try. I don’t want to give up without trying.”

Zuko touches the hilt of a dagger tucked right next to the swords. “I don’t, either.”

She turns to Iroh. “I’d like to leave a note for my parents, but I can’t write. Could you write it for me?”

“I would be honored to,” he says.

Zuko still looks dumbstruck. “You…you really want to do this? For me?”

Jin doesn’t know if it’s adorable or just sad that he clearly can’t comprehend anyone caring about him. She decides that she’s going to heap as much love on top of this boy as possible, for as long as it takes until he is convinced that he deserves to be happy.

She takes his hand and squeezes. “I’d do anything for you.”

A long time ago, Mom and Dad fled to Ba Sing Se because it was the only way they could be safe. Now Jin is leaving because it’s the only way she can make sure the people she loves are safe—not just Zuko, but also her parents and everyone else who is currently living under Fire Nation occupation. The only way to protect Ba Sing Se is to defeat the Firelord, and the only way to defeat the Firelord is to leave the city Jin has lived in her entire life.

She’ll come back eventually, she promises to herself. For now she’s going to follow her heart.

Chapter Text

Dear Mom and Dad,

Reading your last letter warmed my heart. I know it’s only been a few weeks since we last saw each other, but I still miss you. How is life in the city? I want to know everything.

Zuko is under a lot of stress right now, as you can probably imagine. A lot of the other world leaders have trouble trusting him, some for more justifiable reasons than others. Did you know he apparently broke into the Northern Water Tribe once? Luckily his friends are all here to help him (I’m here, too, but that’s pretty self-explanatory.)

He recommended this swordfighting teacher to me, so I’m getting better at that. I can’t wait to show you my new moves. Mai wants me to learn knives next, but I’m probably going to say no. Fighting isn’t a very big deal now that the war is over.

Hopefully this letter isn’t too garbled. Writing is hard.

Love,

Jin

She puts the brush down. Writing is hard, no matter how many calligraphy lessons she takes. But this should suffice, at least for now.

Jin wonders if her writing looks Fire Nation to outsiders, since she learned here. It’s an interesting possibility.

Ty Lee cartwheels through the open doorway. “Hi, Jin. How’s it going?”

“I just finished the letter to my parents,” she says. “What about you?”

“It’s me and Mai’s anniversary.”

“That’s great!” If there’s one thing Jin has learned in her time in the Caldera, it’s that Ty Lee’s enthusiasm is contagious. Even Mai seems less depressed than usual when they’re together.

“Yours should be in a couple weeks, right?” Ty Lee asks.

It takes an embarrassingly long time for Jin to realize that Ty Lee means her anniversary. The truth is she and Zuko have never discussed such a thing. Really, she spends too long every morning thinking Oma and Shu, I can’t believe I’m dating the Firelord to remember which day it started. “I don’t know.”

Ty Lee tugs on her arm. “C’mon, let’s go ask your boyfriend.”

She honestly doubts that Zuko will know, either, but at least it’ll give him a break from whatever meeting he has going on.

The Minister of Education is being annoying again.

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, this new curriculum you proposed is extremely biased against the Fire Nation,” he says. “We shouldn’t erase the deeds of great national heroes just because they weren’t up to, ah, modern standards of virtue. Your great-grandfather, Firelord Sozin—”

“You mean the man who started this spiritsdamned war in the first place?”

Minister Yǒng winces. Like a lot of the older nobility, he doesn’t seem to know what to do with a Firelord who curses like a sailor. “Well, yes, but…look at his important contributions to the national anthem.”

“Oh,” Zuko says. “Yeah, we should rewrite that, too.”

Yǒng appears ready to cry.

The door opens, and a newer servant who Zuko thinks is named Kanchana pokes her head inside. “Firelord Zuko, your girlfriend is here to see you.”

There’s no time to tell her to wait before Jin comes in and grabs his hand. “I’m going to borrow the Firelord for a little while, if you don’t mind.”

Zuko probably should mind, but he’s sick enough of politics that a break sounds like a good idea. “What’s up?”

Jin leads him out into the corridor, empty except for Ty Lee standing on her head. She throws herself into a backflip. He tries to mask how impressed he is with the landing. No matter how much he practices, Ty Lee will always be better just by virtue of having started earlier.

“Mai and I are celebrating our anniversary today,” she says.

Did they take him out of a meeting just to tell him that? “Okay, and?”

Jin looks down at her feet. “I sort of forgot when ours was.”

“A week from now, maybe? Two weeks?” Picking a date is hard. It could be anytime between the Firelight Fountain and the day they left the city. “Let’s go with a week from now,” he finally decides.

“Sounds good to me,” she says. “What should we do?”

The idea comes to him after a few minutes. “Ember Island.”

“Your mom used to take you there, right?”

“Every year,” he says. “It’s beautiful.”

Her smile would be enough to get him through another six hours of meetings. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“You guys are so cute together,” Ty Lee says.

Zuko inhales sharply. He won’t dignify that comment with a response. “Since the meeting ended a little early,” he says very pointedly at Jin and not Ty Lee, “do you want to go to the pond?”

“I’d love to,” Jin says.

The smallest turtleduck—she thinks Aang might have named him Phuntsok—devours an enormous loaf of bread in one go. Jin can relate. “Wow, he must’ve been hungry.”

“He’s still growing,” Zuko says affectionately. “Needs all the food he can get.”

She pulls him closer. There’s a thought she’s been having for a while, and this seems as good a time as any to bring it up. “Are you…okay, living here? I mean, this is where everything happened.”

By everything she means all the pain he went through before coming to Ba Sing Se. His mother’s disappearance. His sister’s bullying. Even the scar—she knows how he got it, now; she wishes she didn’t.

He shakes his head. “I won’t pretend all my memories here are happy,” he says. “But it’s still my home. I missed the turtleducks, at least.”

“I cannot believe you took over my city,” she says. “You’re such a dork.”

“You’re the one in love with me.”

She won’t deny it, even for the sake of a joke. Zuko isn’t accustomed to love; he’s far too used to going without it. “Yes. I am. For forever and always.”

He tosses another bread chunk into the pond. Not looking up, he says almost too quietly for her to hear: “…I think I might love you, too.”

“Oh.” She’s thrilled he had the guts to admit it, but it isn’t a surprise. “I knew that already.”

“You…you did?”

Jin almost laughs. “Remember our first date? When you literally risked your life and freedom just to make me happy? It was obvious.”

“Wow,” he says. “I think that’s longer than I knew.”

“Don’t feel bad. Mom says I’m very lovable.”

“Yeah.” His arm wraps around her waist. “You are.”

They sit like this for a while, listening to the rustling leaves and the quacking turtleducks. This isn’t quite the romance Jin envisioned as a child. But she finds that she likes it nonetheless.