Archive of Our Own

Chuuya and Dazai were walking through an alleyway after a bloody mission. It was rather easy but that idiot, Dazai, had to go relieve himself mid-shootout. Leaving Chuuya to take care of the rest, as usual. As Chuuya rightfully chewed the other boy out for leaving without warning, Dazai suddenly came to a halt causing the angry boy to crash into him.

“What the—“ Chuuya groaned, wiping his nose as he took a step back. 

A quiet meow came out of a tiny box to the right of them. Dazai quickly strolled over the source of the sound. The boy kneels down and opens up the tiny box. 

It was a tiny, frail black kitten on top of a blue fluffy blanket. 

Dazai picks up the box and stands up, “Hm.”

Chuuya joins him and inspects the crying, dirty kitten. Its eyes were still not open and it was rather skinny. 

“Looks like it’s the runt,” Chuuya mutters. 

“Chuuya would know what that feels like, huh?” Dazai teases, sticking his tongue out. 

“Shut up, asshole,” Chuuya huffed, “its mom’s probably nearby.”

“You’re gonna leave a cat here all by itself? Such a heartless dog.”

“Since when did you care about animals? You eat dog food in front of dogs.”

Dazai waves his hand dismissly, “Cats are different, unlike mutts.”

“Tch. Whatever.” 

“Can we take it to Chuuya’s apartment?” 

“What? Why? Let’s just find a shelter or just leave it be.”

“I thought Chuuya had a whole fantasy where you bring in a poor helpless feral animal, and it becomes your partner for life,” Dazai happily explains. 

“Stop reading my personal shit, fuckface,” Chuuya scowls, his hand balling up into a fist.  

“My house is no place for a cat, y'know,” he proclaimed. 

“House my ass,” Chuuya muttered. Dazai lived in a shipping container near hazardous waste, and there was no place he could put a fragile, thin kitten. Let alone take care of the poor thing; he couldn’t even take care of himself. 

“Well, can we?” Dazai repeated, his eyes twinkled and gleamed with hope that Chuuya couldn’t possibly deny. 

Chuuya knew his partner had nothing but hatred for the world for bringing him into existence. To Dazai, living was a torture. Yet, there was this defenseless being in the world, fighting to survive. So he gave in, quicker than he’d like to admit. 

It’s just one night afterall, until Dazai figures out how to take care of the cat or possibly getting rid of it. 

“Can it stop meowing?” Chuuya grumbled, he was annoyed now he has two things in his home bothering him. And he was supposed to relax tonight, that’s never gonna happen now. 

“Well can Chuuya stop barking? You’re making it cry.” 

“I’m letting your stank ass into my apartment! You better shut that mouth!” Chuuya seethed. 

Dazai mocked Chuuya’s yelling with his other hand as he set the box down. He gently scooped the kitten up and silently observed the kitten. 

“Little guy’s probably hungr—“

“She’s a girl,” Dazai corrected, his eyes never taking off the kitten. 

“Well whatever it is, it’s hungry and it’s not like I have any kitten stuff,” Chuuya exasperated. 

“We’ll buy cat food!” the other boy gleamed, a bit too excited for someone who wasn’t paying. 

“I’m not buying cat food; it needs formula.”

“Wow what a smart doggy! Maybe we should get you treats on the way!” 

“I told you I’m not fucking going, it’s your problem.” 

“But Chuuya…”

Chuuya looked at the frail kitten, his worry growing stronger and stronger. And as per usual, he gave in without fail. 

“Whatever asshole, you coming with me or what?” 

“But I have to stay here for her…”

They left with the tiny kitten in Dazai’s hands. That bastard was disgustingly giddy about it with the animal in his hands. It was extremely strange for someone like Dazai to be smiling; being gentle. 

He’s actually happy. 

But Chuuya isn’t gonna comment, it was rather nice now that Dazai is preoccupied with that kitten, and not constantly bothering him for once. 

They finally reached the pet store at 12AM.

“You gonna pick the lock or something?” Chuuya rhetorically asked. 

“Yeah and then Chuuya can destroy the cameras before we get caught,” Dazai smirked, pulling out a Bobby pin.

“Seems excessive for a tiny cat, no?” 

“She deserves the best.” 

“Hm,” Chuuya turns back to the closed pet store. It was stupid and a waste of his evening. 

Yet there he was, holding the bag of formula and nursing bottle as that bastard happily skipped back home with the kitten in his breast pocket. 

Freeloader as expected.

They soon reach Chuuya’s apartment; the kitten soon quiet down, leaving both of them in utter silence. The exhaustion was slowly catching up to Chuuya as fiddled with the keys. He rubbed his eyes and loudly yawned.

“Chuuya should get more sleep, I don’t need him knocking out on the job y'know.”

“Shut up already,” Chuuya manages to huff out before opening the door. They both walk into the apartment, Chuuya flips the light switch on and limps to the kitchen table. 

“What are you gonna name her?” He asked, setting the formula down on the table. 

“Hm, I dunno,” Dazai says as he gently sets the kitten down next to the formula, “what does Chuuya think?” 

“It’s not my damn cat,” the boy said, annoyed, “besides, how are you gonna take care of her?”

“I’ll figure it out,” Dazai mutters as he silently pet the kitten. It had woken up once more and meowed louder than ever. 

“Well hurry up and figure it out, you’re stinking up my apartment,” Chuuya took up his jacket and threw it on the couch. He took off his gloves and looked back at the kitchen table where the neverending meowing punctured its way through his ears. But that stupid bastard did nothing; just kept petting it. 

Chuuya grumbled some threats under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen table, aggressively grabbed the formula and nursing bottle, and mixed warm water and the powder in the nursing bottle. After he was done, he slammed it on the table.

“Here,” he said, trying and failing to mask his annoyance. 

“Awww, what a nice puppy! I was gonna do it but—“ 

“Just feed the damn cat and shower!” Chuuya said, inching closer to the other boy’s face. 

Wait a minute. 

Chuuya quickly picks up the screaming kitten.

Fuck.

It has fleas, tons of them. 

“YOU DUMBASS! HOW DID HELL DID YOU NOT—“ 

He sighs, of course that smelly shitstain could care less about fleas, he was practically one himself. But if the cat lost any more blood, it could die. Dammit. He turns over to Dazai.

“You’re getting in that fucking shower, you and her,” he demanded. 

“Geez so bossy—“ he was cut off as he yanked from his collar and dragged to the restroom with immense force. 

***

The shower steam was fogging up the mirror while the brunette boy washed himself clean. It was probably the first hot shower he’s had in a while; in a way, Chuuya didn’t mind. Dazai was taking care of himself even if he was forced to. So was the tabby. Chuuya rubbed a ring of soap around her neck and gently dunked her body into the water, making sure to keep her head above water. 

Chuuya was slowly nodding off, his eyes were getting heavy, his vision was getting blurry. But he jolts his head away when he hears the shower stop. Dazai had finished showering. The curtain between them was moved slightly and that side of Dazai’s face that was usually bandaged peered through. 

Chuuya didn’t turn around, however. 

But he knew. 

That familiar gaze wasn’t there, either way he had to focus on getting the blood sucking insects off the feline. 

“Chuuya,” Dazai called out in a singsong voice. 

“What?” 

He took the kitten out of the soapy water and drained the water. He wrapped her in a small towel. 

“I like a loyal mutt but I prefer it if Chuuya lets me change alone,” the boy lazily states. 

“Like I wanna see you bandaged ass naked,” Chuuya huffed as he turned the doorknob.

“Unless Chuuya is secretly a pervert,” he snickers. 

“Fuck off.”

With the kitten in hand, Chuuya slams the door behind him. He was beyond exhausted; how does that little fucker has so much energy? That doesn’t matter, he has to worry about the goddamn cat. Chuuya slumped down onto the couch and gently dried the kitten.

“You must be starving, I’m sorry,” he whispers. He pushed himself off the couch and plops the kitten onto the table next to the mixture. 

He held the kitten in his hand as he placed the top of the nursing bottle to its mouth. The kitten was finally eating. Sighing, he silently watches as it finishes half of the bottle. Setting the bottle aside, he held up the kitten and slowly burped it. As it kept meowing and burping, Chuuya grew more and more tired. 

“Wow Chuuya looks like a single mom,” a voice he despised echoed. 

The now bandaged boy takes a seat next to him at the table, now smelling more tolerable. He was wearing an oversized shirt and basketball shorts. He looks a bit more alive. And seeing in this way felt different. They had never exactly shared a causal moment like this before. 

“Yeah and you’re the deadbeat.”

“Sorry, I had to go get milk for our baby,” Dazai jokes as he waves his hand dismissively. 

“Our baby? You haven’t done anything for her.”  

“Hey! I carried her—“ the boy pleaded his case.

“While she was covered in fleas!” Chuuya injects.  

“Ugh, nagging wife…” 

“I pity the woman who’s gonna marry you, although I doubt anyone would marry your lazy ass.”

“Chuuya’s so worried about my love life, is he jealous? Or does he wanna marry me?” Dazai leans in closer. 

The smell of the familiar shampoo hits Chuuya’s senses. And did that shitty asshole use his expensive perfume when he left the restroom? 

“Like I would ever marry you,” Chuuya grumbled. 

“Cat.”

“What?” He blankly stares back at him.

“Let’s name her Cat!” 

“Huh? That’s stupid. Let's name her,” he blanks, “um…” 

He holds the kitten that was now sleeping up, pondering off a better name than “Cat.” What a weirdo. 

“‘Um’? I’m not calling her that,” Dazai grabs the sleeping kitten from Chuuya and holds her close to his chest. 

“Whatever, it’s your problem, I’m going to bed,” Chuuya announced as he got up from the chair and headed for his bedroom. 

“While covered in blood? Dirty mutt,” Dazai comments. 

So almost after choking that bastard out, Chuuya hops in the shower to clean all of the nasty blood off of himself. It was nice not having that bandaged, smelly freak not bothering him. But as he reached for the bottle of conditioner, it was all empty. 

That useless fuck stain was going to die. 

After 20 minutes, Chuuya walks out of the shower with a towel around his damp hair. Dazai stops petting the sleeping kitten to silently stare at the boy that’s approaching him. 

“Go home.” 

“Whatttt? Can’t I stay here for the night, Chuuya?” 

“No!” he lowers his voice a bit to not disturb the cat, “you stayed here long enough.”

“But I have stayed here so many times already!” 

“What?! When?” 

“Whenever Chuuya’s exhausted from Corruption, I’d like to take a little nap on his bed and then leave when it’s 4AM.” 

“Well I didn’t use Corruption this time so go home.” 

“But the cat…” 

The older boy sighed, too tired to yell and fight any longer. Dazai gets his way again. Fuck. 

“Fine.” 

“Wait! Where am I sleepinggg?” Dazai whinged. 

Chuuya grumbles and grabs his hand, leading him to the bedroom. The younger boy happily follows him. As they reach the bedroom, Dazai lets go and grabs one of Chuuya’s smaller pillows. He places it on the desk and sets Cat on it.  

“She’s asleep,” Dazai mutters excitedly. 

Chuuya yawns and nods but is quickly taken aback when the bandaged hands wrapped around his waist. Dazai was hugging him. His head resting on the shorter boy’s shoulder. 

“Thank you, Chuuya,” Dazai whispers.

Chuuya pushes him off, “You got drugged or something?” 

Dazai doesn’t reply, only smiles. Chuuya doesn’t push it and joins him on the bed. They had some distance between them and it didn't take a long time before Chuuya finally got some sleep. Despite the presence of a familiar gaze on him. 

***

“Chuuya used to take care of animals?” Dazai loudly chews his food, and a piece of egg hits Chuuya’s face. 

He quickly wiped it off his face with a disgusted look.

“Chew with your goddamn mouth closed! What are you? 5?” 

“Nagging…” Dazai mutters as he bites down another piece of egg. 

“But yeah when I was in the Sheep, we took in a bunch of strays.” 

“Hmmm lemme guess, Chuuya had a dog?” 

“No, I actually had a black cat.” 

“Oh so like Cat?”

“Ugh, you’re seriously gonna name her that?” Chuuya questions as he picks a piece of toast off of Dazai’s plate. 

“Hey! I was gonna eat that,” he whined.

“I made the food! Besides we have shit to take care of y'know." 

“What? It’s my day-off.” 

“Not mine, I gotta check with the jewelry channels.” 

“How boring. Does that mean I get to stay here?” 

“What? No! Go home,” Chuuya shoos Dazai away with his hand. 

“What about Cat?” 

Chuuya hesitated before answering. He doesn’t have an exact answer, on one hand, he likes the kitten. On the other hand, he doesn’t need that freeloader practically living here. 

“You have money, why not just buy an apartment or something?” 

“I don’t plan on living long, what’s the point?”

“The cat.” 

“But I have Chuuya,” he keeps whining. 

“Whatever! Feed her every 2 hours. I’m going to work, don’t fuck up my apartment.”

Dazai clasped his hands together, “Okay hubby! Stay safe!”

“Go die.” 

The door slams, leaving Dazai alone with the kitten in the apartment. He sighs and gets up to check up on the kitten. He opens the bedroom door and sees the sleeping kitten. It was shivering a bit despite Chuuya putting a heating pad underneath her earlier that morning. Dazai went through Chuuya’s clothes, trying to find something fuzzy. 

His eyes land on a particular shirt. It was his shirt. In Chuuya’s closet? 

Maybe Chuuya IS secretly a pervert, Dazai thought. 

He takes the shirt off of the hanger and folds it so it's small enough for Cat to lay on. He gently pets the kitten’s head that was now resting on his old t-shirt. 

“It’s just you and me today,” he whispers, “are you hungry?” 

The kitten kept sleeping. Dazai sighs and plops back on Chuuya’s comfy bed. In his house— the shipping container— he has only slept on a rough twin size mattress on the floor. He sets a timer for 2 hours and looks at some kitten care videos. He crawls up and rests his head on Chuuya’s pillow. It smelt just like him. He pulls the pillow into his arms, his face buried in it. The familiar scent felt comforting. 

Dazai falls asleep, holding the pillow in his arms.

***

Chuuya unlocks his apartment’s door, he opens the door to an eerie silence. Dazai’s half-eaten breakfast on the table. His shoes were still near the front door so he didn’t leave; by the looks of the trash can that looked the same from this morning, he didn’t go out to eat either. Chuuya’s too tired to worry about such a thing. 

He takes off his coat and hat, leaving it on the hanger. Wasting no time, he immediately goes to the shower. As he opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of the unbandaged boy sitting in the tub of bubbles. And for the first time, he saw Dazai’s whole face. 

“Ah, hi Chuuya—“

Chuuya immediately slammed the door. 

“Chuuya could’ve knocked! What a pervert,” a muffled voice called through the running water. 

Chuuya opened the door again, hand covering the sight in front of him. 

“There’s a lock for a reason, dumbass.” 

“Didn’t notice, sorry. Are you tryna see me naked?” 

“Ew, no! Why are you showering so late anyways?” 

Dazai turns off the water.

“I just woke up! But anywho, now that Chuuya’s here, can he help me wash my hair or is he just gonna stand there?” 

“Can’t do anything yourself, huh? Have you fed her yet?”

“Yes yes I’ve been. Also, Chuuya has 5 thousand different hair products, and I’ve been using this one.” 

Dazai holds up a bottle of conditioner.

“You’ve been using,” he pauses, “just conditioner? For your hair?”

“And body. Is there a difference?” 

Chuuya sighs and rolls up his sleeves. He walks over to the other boy and pulls a stool tucked between the toilet and tub. Taking a seat, he grabs the showerhead that was underwater and turns it on. He lets it run through Dazai’s hair.

“Hey! That’s cold!” 

“Suck it up.” 

After a while, he turns it off and stands up to grab the shampoo bottle. Pouring some on his hands, he starts lathering it in Dazai’s hair. The other boy shuts his eyes as soap runs down to his eyebrows. He keeps massaging Dazai’s hair. The boy underneath him leans more and more into it. 

“Watch out asshole, you're gonna get water on me.” 

“Sorry,” Dazai mutters. 

Chuuya rinses his hair until there’s no soap left. He grabs the bottle of conditioner and rubs it into the ends of the other boy’s hair. 

“What’s the point of using conditioner?” 

“To make your hair soft, close your eyes.”

Dazai follows his command as cold water hits his scalp. Chuuya runs his hand across his scalp, his fingers parting the brunette’s hair. Dazai hummed silently as he relaxed under the gentle touch. 

“The body wash is the blue bottle,” Chuuya says as he squeezes the excess water out of Dazai’s hair. 

“Thanks,” the other boy quietly mutters. 

“Don’t stay in there for too long I gotta shower too y'know." 

Dazai nods and waves his hand dismissively. Chuuya sighs and shuts the door. Yawning, he opens his bedroom door. Spotting the sleeping kitten, he sighs and nudges it awake. But he notices it’s full belly; she’s already eaten. The empty nursing bottle besides her is clearer evidence. 

Dazai fed her before himself.

Chuuya silently chuckles to himself. 

***

Dazai walks out of the bathroom, fully bandaged once more and wearing a random oversized sweater paired with basketball shorts. He stepped into the kitchen where Chuuya was making something. It smelt really, really good. 

“Whacha making?” He loomed over Chuuya.

“Crab fried rice,” he responds. 

Dazai was practically drooling, but quickly wiped his lips. He was mesmerized as Chuuya mixes the seasoned crab with the cold rice in the pan. He doesn’t even realize how unbelievably close they were. 

“Hey can you get me the—“ Chuuya turns around, his face hitting Dazai’s chest. Droplets of water from the brunette’s hair hit his face.

“Ah, sorry,” Dazai takes a step back. 

They awkwardly stared at each other. Chuuya turns away, slightly flushed. Which intensified when he felt Dazai’s hand around his chin. The other boy gently pulled his face towards him. Dazai then wiped the droplets of water off of Chuuya’s face, causing Chuuya to shut his eyes. 

“There you go,” Dazai mutters. His hand lingers on Chuuya’s face for a bit longer than necessary; both of them staring at each other. Chuuya snaps out of it and focuses on the food in the pan. 

“T-Thanks,” Chuuya stammers. Dazai chuckles at his nervousness. And to push him further, Dazai goes to tuck a piece of hair behind Chuuya’s ear. Smiling to himself as he notices the redness of the boy’s ear. Chuuya doesn’t say anything, only brushing over the place Dazai had touched his hair.

Satisfied with himself, Dazai went to take a seat at the kitchen table and waited for Chuuya. After a few minutes, Chuuya turns off the stove and brings the pan containing the food to the table. He sets it down in front of Dazai, handing him a pair of chopsticks. 

Dazai eagerly took the chopsticks and went to take the lid off, but before he took a bite, he paused. 

“Is Chuuya gonna eat?”

“I’ll eat after; you haven’t eaten all day.”

Dazai quietly nods, and grabs a bit of the food from the pan. And instead of taking a bite himself, he puts it in front of Chuuya. 

“What?” Chuuya looks up at him confused. 

“Say ‘ah’.” 

Chuuya smiles and takes a bite of the food in front of him. The food was a bit over cooked but Chuuya didn’t have the energy to care; only enjoying the well seasoned crab. 

“Good doggy,” Dazai teases as he takes a bite of the food himself this time. 

“Fuck off,” Chuuya grumbled. 

Dazai’s eyes beamed brightly as he quickly ate the food. 

“Slow down, stupid. You’re gonna choke.” 

Dazai does slow down as he struggles to swallow the amount of food in his mouth. But he seemed happy. Chuuya couldn’t help to appreciate this human sight of him. Dazai looked at peace; the same way he looked when he had carried Cat around. 

Cute. Chuuya thought to himself as Dazai kept happily eating. 

“I’ll go check on Cat.” 

“Hm?” Dazai stops chewing, “oh okay.” 

Chuuya gets up and heads for the bedroom. He picks up the sleeping kitten. 

“You sure sleep a lot, huh?” Chuuya gently pets her. 

Speaking of sleep, he desperately needs some. Chuuya sets her down and rubs his eyes as he plops on the bed. He was far too tired to shower, and too tired to kick Dazai out of his apartment. Or well attempt to.

As he slowly dozed off, he could sense another person enter the bedroom. He felt himself being carried up to his cool pillow. Then snapping up when he felt the dried drool on it. 

“Ew! Dazai what the fuck?!” 

“Sorry I took a nap after you left.” 

“God you’re disgusting.” 

“Chuuya acts like he doesn’t have a bunch of other pillows.” 

“Yeah but that’s my main one, idiot.” 

Dazai grabbed his pillow— or well Chuuya’s other perfectly dry pillow, “Here.” 

Chuuya snatches it from him, and puts it underneath his head. Dazai had been lying on it earlier and it smelt just like him with hints of Chuuya’s conditioner. Dazai, on the other hand, lays on one of the smaller pillows.

Chuuya swears to himself that he’s gonna kick Dazai out tomorrow. But there’s something about this moment that makes his stomach churn, something about how the moonlight highlights Dazai’s softer features. There’s a gleam of life in his eyes. Something human about him at this moment that Chuuya can’t look away from. It was horrifyingly alluring, like a siren’s song. 

Chuuya flips to the other side, and shuts his eyes, trying to ignore the gaze that lingers. 

As he drifts off to sleep, he hears a soft “thank you for today, Chuuya.” 

***

“She opened her eyes!” Dazai excitedly beamed. 

Chuuya chuckles at his childish excitement. They’ve been taking care of Cat for about two weeks now. Meaning they’ve been living together for about two weeks. 

“You wanna hold her?” Chuuya holds her in front of him. 

“Yeah!” Dazai eagerly holds his hands out. Chuuya puts Cat in Dazai’s hands. The brunette excitedly stared at the kitten with its eyes now open. 

It has brown and blue eyes. He raises it up next to Chuuya who sported those same eyes. Chuuya looked at him a bit confused.

“So pretty,” he mutters, looking at Chuuya then looking back at the kitten. 

“What are her eye colors?”

“They’re just like yours,” Dazai responds warmly, smiling at him as he does.

Chuuya blushes at his comment and that soft smile he only has for Cat. He quickly turns away.

“You know we can’t keep her though,” Chuuya starts. 

“I know.” 

They’ve been trying to balance working and caring for Cat, but having to feed the kitten every 2 hours while killing people hasn’t been the easiest task. They attempted to co-parent but it’s too much of a risk for the other. And they were always paired together for missions. 

Ultimately they decided to give her up for adoption. But only after nursing her until she’s fully ready. 

“You think we can do this for another 6 weeks?”

“We?” Dazai echoed. He blankly stared at Chuuya. 

“Yeah, I can’t take care of her all by myself.” 

“I thought you were gonna kick me out,” he admits. 

“You’d come back anyways,” Chuuya began, “besides you’re a bit more tolerable when you don’t reek.” 

Dazai looked healthier too thanks to Chuuya’s constant nagging. He started eating more, he started bathing himself correctly, and sleeping on a cozy bed. Speaking of which, they’ve been sleeping on the same bed for 2 weeks. But it didn’t feel weird, it felt like this was going to happen eventually. Chuuya didn’t know why but Dazai’s warmth greatly aided in his sleep. And soon enough, he secretly looked forward to going to sleep with Dazai. 

It would be weird if Dazai were to suddenly leave, but Chuuya knows that too is a possibility. 

“Aw Chuuya, I’m flattered,” Dazai cooes. 

“Ugh whatever,” he huffed.

“I’m starting to think you like living with me,” he teased. 

“I’m kicking your ass out after she’s old enough to get adopted.” 

“Understood.”

“Anyways, it’s getting late, I’m gonna go shower,” Chuuya imparted. 

“What? I was gonna go shower,” Dazai interjects.

“Too bad. My house, my rules,” Chuuya proclaims.

“Is that how you treat your guests? I should teach you some manners.” 

“You’re anything but a guest at this point.”

“What am I then?” 

“A freeloading roommate.”

Dazai snickers at his comment. 

“If Chuuya needed money from a mafia executive he should’ve just as—“

“I don’t need handouts from you.” 

Something shifted in the air. 

“Suit yoursel—”

“Fuck off,” Chuuya seethed as he pushed past Dazai. “Just watch over her.”

Chuuya slams the bathroom door shut. He turns the water on and waits for the tub to warm up. He first removes his jacket and vest. And slowly unbuttons his dress shirt. Before he can set it aside, he hears a knock. 

“Chuuya,” that annoying voice called out.

“What’s now?”

“Can you open the door?”

Chuuya opens the door, he is topless, all of his scars on display but he couldn’t care about that right now. Dazai, however, was a bit taken aback at the sight. His eyes immediately zeroed in on Chuuya’s chest, intensely staring at his toned muscles in awe.

“Well?”

Dazai snaps out of it.

“Um,” he hesitated, slightly fidgeting with his fingers, “I didn’t… mean it like that.” 

“Didn’t mean what?” 

“I— Chuuya, I didn’t want you to think you need handouts from me.” 

“Oh.” 

He’s apologizing, that’s different. 

“I only said it to mess with you but— it wasn’t in like that way and you seemed—“

Chuuya gently flicked his forehead.

“You’re okay?” Dazai nervously asks. 

Chuuya nods his head at his concern. It was different to see Dazai’s care be more obvious; his  care overall has been on the subtle side. Only putting it on display when Chuuya wasn’t conscious. But Chuuya knows, yet both of them wouldn’t utter a word about it. There was no need to. 

So this is different. Chuuya likes it more than he would ever admit. He gently ruffles Dazai’s soft brunette hair. Causing the boy to lean into his touch. 

He’s cute too sometimes. Chuuya thinks. Dazai was kind of like a cat in a way. Chuuya slightly massages his scalp, earning him a sigh of relief. Then his hand trails down Dazai’s ear. He slowly runs his fingers from his hairline to the ends of his hair, making sure to not get between the bandages. Dazai leans more and more into the touch.

 How adorable, Chuuya smiles. 

However it was quickly cut short when a loud meow was heard from the bedroom. Chuuya stops his actions and pulls his hand away from Dazai’s head. 

“I-I’ll check on her,” Dazai stammers as he speedwalk away. 

Taking care of Cat was like taking care of a baby. He silently stared at his hand that was entangled in Dazai’s hair.

Chuuya thought back to the question. 

What am I then? 

He was definitely not just some roommate. 

***

6 weeks later. 

Dazai stayed in the apartment for all of those weeks. Chuuya used the excuse that they were just taking care of the kitten whenever they were questioned. Dazai would also do the same when Ango or Oda questions why he skipped out on drinking with them. 

Chuuya wakes up to a furry animal on his head. 

“Good morning,” a familiar voice cooed. 

“Morning,” Chuuya groaned. Dazai was sitting near Chuuya’s bedside, holding Cat in his arms. 

“I already fed her and helped her pee.” 

“Mm,” Chuuya rubbed his eyes, “what time is it?” 

“Like 10AM.”

“What! Shit- why didn’t you wake me up?!”

“Shhhh,” Dazai puts a finger up to his lips, “I had my subordinates take care of your duties, okay?” 

“What? Why—“

“Chuuya works too much, he’s getting eye bags and it’s not a pretty look,” Dazai turns to face him, “So I thought I’d let him sleep in a bit this time.”

Oh.

“Thanks,” Chuuya muttered.

Dazai gently plops the kitten in Chuuya’s hands. She quickly nuzzled against it as she purred loudly. Chuuya smiles as he gently pets the feline. He secretly wishes he could keep her forever, with Dazai would be nice too. But given their profession that was nothing but a dream.  

“Aw, you’re like her mom.” 

“And you’re no longer a deadbeat.” 

Dazai laughs at his comment. 

“Well she definitely got your eyes,” Dazai rubs her head with his finger. He leans a bit closer to Chuuya to pet Cat.

“She got your hair,” Chuuya jokes. 

“Yeah—“ Dazai looks up to face Chuuya, then stops himself when he realizes how incredibly close they are. 

Chuuya slightly shifted away from him, hiding his flushed face.

“Well I guess, we should get ready to drop her off,” 

They stared at the kitten in Chuuya’s hands, both wanting to cherish her forever. 

***

They took her to work for the last time that day. And as the mission came to an end, they walked down the same alleyway they picked her up with Cat in Dazai’s arms. Chuuya pauses. 

Next to the spot they had picked up Cat was an animal shelter. 

“What is it, Chuuya?”

“There was an animal shelter here,” he stops, “and you fucking knew.” 

“Of course I did.” 

“Yet you…” Chuuya laughs at the realization. 

But they didn't enter that shelter, Dazai wanted to find a no-kill shelter. 

They eventually find one, and after filing some paperwork they say their goodbyes to Cat. Each of them giving her a kiss goodbye. They both exit the shelter, walking through the street silently. Too silently. Dazai looked at Chuuya with visible concern. They clearly bonded thanks to Cat and Chuuya adored the feline. But now she’s gone.

“Hey, Chuuya.”

“Hm?” His voice was softer than usual.

Dazai takes a step closer to him. Putting an arm around Chuuya’s shoulder, holding him close to his chest. 

“I know it’s hard.” 

Chuuya wipes his eyes where tears were forming as he nuzzled in Dazai’s chest. Dazai gently rubs his back. They stayed like that as Chuuya hugs him back. 

“Don’t leave me, Dazai,” Chuuya chokes out through cries. 

“I won’t, Chuuya, I won’t,” Dazai quickly reassures him. 

***

They opened Chuuya’s apartment, both exhausted to even shower. They take off their shoes, coats and vest. Chuuya mindlessly throws his clothes onto the couch. They walked silently to the bedroom now feeling incredibly empty without the kitten. 

Chuuya immediately crawls on top of the bed, but doesn’t lay down until Dazai joins him. They don’t exchange any words, both worried about saying the wrong thing. Even though they have a newfound understanding with each other, the glue that held them together seemed to be gone. 

Is their bond truly that fragile?

“Dazai.”

“Yes?”

“Can we cuddle?” He pauses, “skin to skin?”

That was new. They’ve been sharing Chuuya’s bed but have never cuddled before. Dazai doesn’t reject him however.

“Yeah, we can.” 

Chuuya started unbuttoning his dress shirt with Dazai following suit. Chuuya sighs in amusement as he notices the amount of bandages. Dazai swifts closer to him. He slowly admires Chuuya’s scars. They were unbelievably close. Their faces were mere inches away. Their eyes met. Chuuya’s flushed face becomes more prominent. But Dazai doesn’t back off this time. He leans closer, eyes staying on Chuuya’s captivating heterochromic eyes. 

“Dazai,” Chuuya nervously whispers. 

“Can I?” He brings one hand up to carcass Chuuya’s face.

“Yeah.” 

Dazai connects their lips, and fireworks that have been waiting to be lit immediately go off in Chuuya’s mind. He quickly kissed Dazai back, earning him a surprised groan. The kiss lasted only a few moments but it felt right. A longing has finally been fulfilled. 

Chuuya’s hand goes up and wraps behind Dazai’s head, as he connects their lips once more. Chuuya’s soft lips contrasted Dazai’s chapped ones. Chuuya’s tongue brushes the other’s lips which triggers something in Dazai’s mind as he immediately pulls Chuuya onto his lap. His hands found their way around Chuuya’s exposed waist. He pulls Chuuya tightly, rewarding him with a surprised yelp. Which was quickly shut as Dazai connected their lips once more. They both melt in the warmth as Dazai deepens their kiss. Chuuya felt so safe in his embrace. Like they were the only two people in the vast universe. Despite their fights over the years, this felt like one of those moments their souls finally connected as one. Where their bodies would melt together and they become one soul.

As they kept making out, the room was filled with soft moans and unspoken wants. They’ve been wanting this— needing this. Their souls perfectly entangled now sharing the same wavelength. Chuuya wraps his arms around Dazai’s neck, wanting more. The warmth and desire became addictive to Chuuya.

Dazai finally pulls away leaving a small trail of saliva between them. Chuuya buries his face on Dazai’s shoulder, incredibly embarrassed. This allowed Dazai to pepper small, gentle kisses on Chuuya’s neck. 

“Are you feeling better?” 

“Mhm,” he muffled out. 

“You have me, I’m not going anywhere.”

The lights were off. The blanket was on top of both of them. They lay down on the bed, their exposed chests hitting each other. Chuuya’s face was buried in Dazai’s chest as his hand lazily traced his back. 

“You’re shivering.” 

“I’m just not used to this.” 

“Used to what?” 

“Physical touch, I guess.”

“Me too.” 

Chuuya shifts where he’s making eye contact with Dazai.

“I’m happy this was with you,” he softly whispers.

Dazai kisses him on the head as a response. His hand goes up to caress Chuuya’s face. He nuzzled against the hand that was around his face. Chuuya couldn’t help but smile as he felt the hand gently stroke his face. It felt so warm, a warmth he has never felt before. There was something truly comforting being physically close to another person that Chuuya now understands. That feeling intensified when Dazai affectionately peppers kisses throughout his face. 

“Did you do that on purpose?” Chuuya whispers.

“Do what? Kiss you?”

“No. You knew there was an animal shelter, and yet you decided to keep Cat.” 

“I like cats so what?”

“Not that, you could’ve bought an apartment or something. You just wanted to freeload—” 

“It wasn’t about freeloading,” Dazai clarified, “I did want to help fulfill Chuuya’s fantasy. I know you said you did take care of strays but, you never had a partner for life,” his voice grew quieter, “And I wanted that for you.” 

Chuuya’s face grew redder at his confession. 

“It was only meant to be a few nights but you didn’t kick me out. And I do like living with you. And being with you.”

Chuuya meets Dazai’s eyes. 

“Move in with me.” 

Dazai pulls him into a hug and excitedly nods at the request.

“Thank you, Chuuya.” 

“You’re so corny.” 

“Aw, I love you too.”

Chuuya did complete that fantasy.

He got a partner for life.

But it was only that, a fantasy. Dazai did leave him.

Their bond— their love was truly fragile.