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Lex’s Metropolis apartment in this universe looks about the same as the one back home. Or however you’re supposed to refer to this sort of thing—LuthorCorp invented the technology, so he’ll be the one to decide, he thinks with a satisfied smile.
It’s about the same, but not quite—the blinds on all the windows are wide open, bathing the place in a golden light, making even the black granite sparkle with uncharacteristic warmth. It feels… nice. Maybe this Lex Luthor is a better interior decorator than he is.
Lex is ruminating on this as he walks delicately across the length of the kitchen, feeling the warmth on his skin, when the bedroom door begins to open. Lex takes a breath and mentally prepares himself to greet whatever frivolous live-in girlfriend his alternate self happens to be hosting at the moment, but when he looks up…
Lex freezes, heart in his throat. “What are you doing here?!”
The figure in the doorway smiles an easy, familiar, beautiful smile, and Lex feels like he’s going to fucking die. “I should be asking that to you. You said you’d be in Gotham for another three days.”
“I… um… I—“
Clark Kent rolls his eyes as he leans against the doorframe. “Not that I’m upset. C’mere.”
“You’re kidding.”
Clark’s brow furrows, and he takes a step toward Lex. “Are you okay? You’re looking at me like you’re still trying to figure out how I rescued you from that car accident.”
Lex swallows. “I’m fine.”
Clark steps toward him again, close enough to touch, and rests his hands on Lex’s hips like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Lex feels like he’s going to throw up, but he steels himself with a deep breath.
Clark frowns. “Did something happen with the Cadmus deal in Gotham?”
Lex purses his lips. “I guess I don’t know yet.”
“That bad, huh? Did Wayne back out?”
Lex can’t stop staring at his eyes, bright and beautiful and looking right into his. And god, his hands are still on him, the warmth of his touch radiating past the layers of his suit right to Lex’s core. It’s sickening, how much Lex wants him.
Clark smirks and leans closer. “That’s off the record, by the way, Mr. Luthor. If it helps.”
Lex can’t take it anymore. He reaches up and meets Clark’s lips, soft and perfect and still smiling against his as he wraps his arms around Lex’s waist and deepens the kiss.
When they break apart, Lex is out of breath. Clark’s hand is still at the small of his back, and none of this is right, but it’s so easy to ignore when it’s everything he ever wanted. In the Luthor world, happiness is a sin, and kissing Clark Kent makes every single one of Lex’s previous vices look like nothing at all.
“What did I do to deserve this?” Lex asks, voice hoarse.
Clark laughs, gesturing toward the window. “The penthouse view? Nothing. You were born rich.”
“We both know that’s not what I meant.”
He smiles fondly. “Just by being you, Lex.”
“Is it really that easy?”
“You say that like you have a way to find out. Is LuthorCorp working on some sort of computer simulation to find out how many possible worlds there are where I fall in love with you?”
Lex swallows. “I think this is the only one.”
“Well, if it is, I’m glad I’m living in it.”
He takes a deep, shaky breath. “Me, too.”
“Hey, if you’re here early, and I don’t have anything calling me away at the moment… how about we spend some quality time together?” Clark has a gleam in his eye, pulling him back toward the bedroom.
This cannot be real, Lex thinks. Logically, scientifically, this cannot possibly be real. And even if it is, this isn’t his Clark. It’s wrong, and maybe even dangerous. This technology is new; it must be tread extremely carefully, lest rifts between worlds lead to total collapse. Every moment Lex spends in this world could very well be its last.
Lex clears his throat and looks up at Clark’s wide, eager eyes, and he smiles. “I would love nothing more.”
.
Lex wakes up to the calm, pleasant feeling of sunlight streaming through his bedroom window. The bed is empty except for him and he quickly concludes that last night he must’ve had an unusually vivid dream, fueled by anticipation for the first use of his newest invention. It wouldn’t be the first time his old friend has featured in his subconscious in such a way, as hesitant as he is to admit.
He opens the bedroom door to hear noise coming from the kitchen, and follows the sound to find none other than Clark Kent making pancakes. Ah. Well. So much for the dream theory.
“I got an early start this morning,” Clark says when he sees him come in, flipping a pancake onto a plate and pushing it toward him. “Just a minor natural disaster—you’ll read about it in the next issue of the Planet.”
Lex takes a seat at the counter and takes a bite of pancake. It’s trash from a box, but Clark made it, so to Lex it tastes like ambrosia, the food of the gods. “You’re a very dedicated reporter.”
Clark snorts. “Yeah, reporter.” He grins at Lex, like they have an inside joke he doesn’t understand. “I got an exclusive interview with Superman and everything.”
The mention of that name makes Lex’s stomach churn, but he swallows the bile back down and tries to keep a placid smile. “That’s… nice.”
Clark narrows his eyes. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Lex? You’re acting weird.”
“Well, I guess I’m just worried about the results of that… deal.”
Clark sighs and walks to the other side of the counter to press a kiss to Lex’s cheek. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Then one to his lips. “You’re Lex Luthor.”
It still feels too good to be true, and that’s because it is. Lex should leave right now, before he possibly destroys the fabric of the universe. But, well… Clark said his alternate self was coming back in two days. That means he has one. Just one more day here in this world. How much harm could it do?
“By the way, whatever happened with that deal… I’ll let you know if one of my colleagues is working on a story, but I won’t kill it. Lois is already suspicious enough of me, both for dating a billionaire and the other stuff.”
“I would never ask you to do that, Clark.”
He grins. “And that’s why I love you.”
Lex can’t help but grin back at him, even as something inside him boils with hate. It’s funny—Lex would never deny that a small part of him has always hated himself, but this self-hatred is something entirely different. He hates the Lex Luthor who gets to have this. He hates him more than anyone he’s ever hated in his life, maybe even more than Superman.
Clark kisses his other cheek, and Lex snaps out of his thoughts. “I gotta get to work. See you later.”
“Yes, I’ll see you—“ Lex begins, but when he turns, Clark is already gone.
.
Lex spends the day in the apartment, just looking around. It looks the same on the surface, but in the small and hidden things—in drawers, in boxes, in picture frames—there are memories of a life he never led.
Sticky notes on the fridge, reminders Clark must leave for himself: Out of milk. Ask Jimmy about helicopter story. Test new cape. Date night Friday.
A framed Daily Planet article with a Clark Kent byline: Unknown Vigilante Saves Hundreds From Downtown Apartment Fire. And the picture to go with the headline is, of course, a man in a blue suit and red cape, smiling like he’s the only being on the planet who matters.
A photo album in the closet: Clark and Lex dressed up for a LuthorCorp gala. Clark and Lex at a Meteors game. Clark and Lex at what looks like the Kent household in Smallville, sharing a private moment. Lex on a stage, giving Superman of all people some Luthor-branded award. Funny, Clark isn’t in that one. He must’ve taken it.
Looking through those pages, Lex has a thought, and it lights a fire inside of him—he could keep digging.
He could indulge his years-long desire to find the truth about Clark Kent—how he saved him all those years ago, all the strange things that happened in Smallville, his connection to Superman. This world could be a gift—it could finally give him the answers he’s dedicated his life to finding.
But… Lex remembers a piece of advice Clark’s father gave him many years ago, one he has rarely if ever followed before. Don’t question a miracle.
So the question is, Lex thinks, as he stares at a version of himself with the kind of soft, loving smile he can’t imagine on his own face, is this the kind of miracle it’s better not to question?
.
“Our anniversary is coming up,” Clark says, once he’s home from work and sitting on the couch with Lex.
Lex nods. There are many clarifying questions he could ask, of course, but none that would make much sense coming from the ostensible other party in the relationship.
“And I was thinking… I want to tell you my gift for you now, so you’re prepared.”
Lex’s chest tightens. He’s not sure he can take it, knowing something like this and not being able to have it. “Okay, tell me,” he replies.
Clark is grinning like he’s about to burst. He’s very proud of himself for this one, whatever it is. “I’m not gonna do a grand romantic gesture.”
Lex scoffs, which turns into a disbelieving laugh. “That’s it? I don’t mind, Clark, but I feel like I’m missing something.”
“Last year, when I flew us out to the Kitt Peak observatory for stargazing, I could tell you were a little disappointed we didn’t get to do your thing.” He puts a hand on Lex’s cheek, and Lex takes a sharp breath in. “I know you wanna be the guy who sweeps me off my feet and surprises me with the greatest trip in the world. You love making grand romantic gestures, and I don’t want to take that from you.” He strokes his thumb across Lex’s chin. “Because I love it when you sweep me off my feet.”
Lex takes a deep, deep breath. “Clark Kent,” he says, looking right into his eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Clark laughs. “When I told Jimmy the idea, he said I was just being lazy. But I knew you would appreciate it.”
“I do, Clark. I appreciate everything you do.”
He beams, and leans in for a kiss, which Lex hungrily reciprocates. He wants to stay here. God, he wants to stay in this world forever. It could be a trick from a rival corporation or a trap set up by Superman to neutralize his nemesis and Lex wouldn’t even mind. Hell, he thinks, in a true moment of weakness, it could be the random synapse firing of his dying brain, and at least he would die happy.
However… while Lex may be paranoid, he’s not delusional. He knows deep in his bones that this is real, and it’s exactly what he believes it to be: someone else’s life, and one he doesn’t have much longer to live in. And then, it will become a memory he carries with him every day for the rest of his life. Yet another branch for Lex Luthor to grasp at and never reach.
When they break apart, Clark looks at him and frowns. “You’re crying.”
Lex blinks, feeling the wetness in his eyes. “They’re happy tears,” he lies.
Clark’s grin comes back. “Wow, I’ll never do a romantic gesture again, I swear. I’ll leave them all to you from now on.”
Lex shakes his head. “I don’t want that.”
“I know. You’d never pass up the chance to see me in the suit.”
Lex wishes he knew what suit he’s referring to. What he wouldn’t give to see him in something sharp and expensive, fit for a Luthor. However, he takes the opportunity to say something honest. “You look good in anything. Even those farm boy flannels you always used to wear.”
Clark chuckles. “Excuse you, I look great in those.”
Something in Lex’s stomach tenses at the completely meaningless banter. “I can’t believe we could’ve had this the whole time.”
“Lex, we’ve been together almost four years now. And I think it was probably for the best that you weren’t a cradle robber.”
Four years. Jesus. “But you felt that way about me? When we were still friends?”
Clark sighs. “I don’t know what I felt. I thought I was in love with Lana for a long time, and I knew I cared about you a lot.”
“When did you know?”
He grins. “When I told you my secret.”
Lex swallows, trying not to feel like he’s been stabbed in the gut. “Right.”
“I’m just really lucky to have a partner in figuring all of my stuff out. I don’t think I say that enough.”
He winces. “I’m sure you do.”
Clark kisses his cheek. “Oh, speaking of, any updates on your latest kryptonite experiment?”
This is it. This is the moment he’s been waiting for—a chance to dig at the secrets he’s been grasping at for years. It doesn’t matter if he blows his cover; he’s got a key fob in his pocket that will transport him right back to his dimension at the press of a button. Surely he can ask a few questions before Clark truly gets suspicious.
But… no.
Lex can’t do that. He can’t even pretend that he wants to. Not with Clark Kent in his arms. Maybe Jonathan was right. Maybe the Lex of this dimension understood that. Maybe this is his divine punishment for wanting to make sense of the kid who saved his life.
“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” Lex says, pulling him closer. “I want you.”
Clark bites his lip, eyes shining. “You usually do that when you’re trying to hide something from me, don’t think I don’t see that.”
“You know me far too well. That will get you into trouble.”
“I know. Gets me out of trouble a lot more, though,” he says, and kisses Lex again.
.
Lex wakes up the next morning next to Clark. It’s such a perfect feeling that he’s almost able to enjoy it despite the crushing feeling of loss that it will never happen again. Lex isn’t sure he’s ever seen Clark sleeping before. He looks beautiful. Peaceful. Content. Everything Lex has never been and never will be.
Maybe it was cowardly not to tell him the truth before he leaves this dimension. Maybe he deserved that much from Lex. But Lex couldn’t stand it, the idea of Clark looking at him differently, knowing he’s from somewhere else… It would break him into pieces. If all this world will be is a memory, he might as well leave it untarnished.
Lex takes one last look at Clark’s sleeping frame, takes a deep breath, and presses the button.
.
The secret LuthorCorp dimensional travel research facility is a huge, concrete basement, every wall stacked with blinking lights and computer monitors. Lex finds himself in the middle of the space with a slight headache that quickly subsides. He takes a deep breath in. The room is dark, the only illumination coming from a few scattered overhead lights and the many scientific instruments. No windows here—much too risky when the research is this secret.
After a moment, one of the younger scientists on his staff notices his arrival and rushes toward him.
“Mr. Luthor!” she exclaims. “You’re back!”
“And in one piece, it seems,” he replies. She has a clipboard in her hand, and she’s taking notes as she looks him over.
Then, a hand is on his arm, and he looks to his side to see Dr. Rhea Carter, the head researcher on the LuthorCorp dimensional travel project, and his current girlfriend.
“Lex, we need to get you checked out right now,” she says, pulling him toward a chair hooked up to vitals tracking. “It’s been two days in this world. How long did it feel like to you?”
“About the same, actually.” Lex sits down begrudgingly in the chair.
She nods and writes something down. “What did you see?”
Lex takes a deep breath in and watches his heart speed up on the monitor. “Nothing,” he says. “It was just another world with people and places in it. Same as ours.”
“What about your plan to see your own apartment? Did it work?”
He shakes his head. “The key didn’t fit.”
“Hmm. Well, next time, we can—“
Lex places a hand on her arm as he stands back up from the chair, and she stops. “About that…” he says. “There won’t be a next time.”
She furrows her brow. “What?”
“I’m shutting down this project. It’s over.”
Rhea scoffs. “You can’t do that. We just had a highly successful trial. Not to mention the billions of dollars your company has spent—“
Lex steels himself. “I don’t care. We’re shutting it down.”
She gives him a look—a mix of fury, horror, and pity. “Lex, what did you see?”
He sighs. “I saw nothing. No profit, no gain, nothing to be extracted from this research. You may be attached to the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, Dr. Carter, but I am running a business.”
She glares at him, speechless.
Lex purses his lips. “Glad we had this talk.”
“Fuck you, Lex Luthor. We’re over, too.”
It feels like absolutely nothing to hear her say that. It always does, with the girls he chooses. He nods. “I guess I deserve that.”
“That’s a goddamn understatement.”
He smiles politely. “You and all other full-time staff will receive two months of severance. I expect this lab to be packed up by Friday.”
She turns without saying another word. Lex figures he deserves that too.
.
In Lex’s own penthouse apartment, he is alone.
He considers for a moment opening up the blinds, but decides against it.
He flips through the latest issue of the Daily Planet to catch up on the events of this world. On his way to the financial section, an unfortunate headline catches his eye.
Midvale Earthquake Destroys Generator; Damage Averted By Superman. Written by Clark Kent, of course.
He decides to let the anger bubbling up inside him be a gift—at least it’s familiar; at least it’s here to stay.
Lex Luthor has known for a long time that hatred is a much more reliable emotion than love; it only takes one person to commit to the relationship, and the only person he can control is himself.
He takes a deep breath, takes one final look at the newspaper page, and walks into his bedroom to go to sleep.