Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Aubrey woke up in cold sweat after the yet another stupid dream he had about stupid Sunny. The attic was hot, with poor air circulation. Aubrey blamed it on that. She blamed that the lack of oxygen was getting to her and causing her to dream about Sunny’s smile and laugh. It was as if the walls were cornering her. Judging her. She was left alone with her thoughts, and it was as if they were listening. In sheer frustration, she threw her pillow away. She then pulled the duvet to her face to scream at it, her whole-body tensing but not quite relaxing even after the act.

There she was, alone again. Why did she ever think that dating someone in the friend group was a good idea again? Sure, Sunny liked him since they were kids, and as they grew up Aubrey had some partners; hell, even Sunny did, but in the end they still somehow ended up together. But just like it started, it progressed and ended the same way: quietly. Sunny was impossible. Aubrey found solace in his company, in him being a man of few words, but sometimes he’d shut down completely and she’d get angry. She’d try to talk about something else, just to get him to utter a word, only to fail miserably because in the end, she was still hung up on the previous topic. It was a week ago when Aubrey decided enough was enough and she couldn’t bear the humiliation any longer, so she ended up breaking things off.

Sunny’s face when she announced her decision never left Aubrey’s mind. To the untrained eye, it’d look neutral, but Aubrey knew better. She saw the light dim in his eyes, saw how his fingers subtly shivered and so did his lower lip. She didn’t, or rather, couldn’t, stick around to watch him suffer anymore and left quickly.

It didn’t help. Aubrey still saw his face in her dreams. She barely left the house she fucking hated after the fact. She didn’t want to see Basil trying to smooth things over, she didn’t have the strength to deal with Kel’s bullshit; Mari and Hero were away but Aubrey doubted her heart could handle seeing her precious Mari get mad at her over breaking her little brother’s heart, and she certainly couldn’t bear seeing the little brother in question.

So many people in this town she wanted to avoid, and unfortunately, she was living with one of them: her mother.

Aubrey hated her mother’s guts. Absent couldn’t begin to tell how terrible she was. Neglectful and dirty, she swore the sweet earthy aroma she smelt wasn’t anything legal. It was strong enough to bleed into the attic and Aubrey often found herself wondering why she wasn’t arrested yet.

Sooner or later, she had to get up. The poor girl was starving. Her body was weak, even getting up to take the pillow hurt. Her Cookie Monster PJ bottoms were a little looser than she remembered. It was the result of barely eating anything for a week, Aubrey figured. Seriously though. She needed to eat something but before that, tidy up at the very least.

But first, she dragged her feet to Bun-Bun’s cage. The floorboard creaked with each step. She took bunny’s water bottle to clean up and refilled her kibble. “Good morning, Bun-Bun,” she kissed her before leaving for the bathroom.

She avoided the mirror in the bathroom, hyperaware of the pimples that started forming in her already unappealing face. She just wanted to wash up and leave as quickly as possible. Thankfully, Aubrey knew that her mother had a habit of leaving her wallet out in the open. Pocket money for the hero sandwich she craved so badly, she thought to herself.

After making herself less repulsive to the nose of innocent passerby, Aubrey dolled herself up as best as she could. The makeup she got for her high school graduation was reserved for special occasions like this. It was already collecting dust, being ditched for its cheaper alternatives.

“I’m going out, Bun-Bun. Are you going to give me an allowance?” She snorted. She put her water bottle in its place and pet the rabbit gently. “I need to get us out of this place. I’m so sorry.” she whispered before turning to leave hastily.

Upon leaving, however, she was so embarrassed she wanted to die. Revenge? Who was she taking revenge from? This was so childish, even for Aubrey. There was absolutely no reason for her to be this hyped, and her makeup felt as heavy as a clown’s as she stood in the middle of the scorching August weather.

Aubrey was about to go right back in when she heard a voice stop her: “Oh, bun, it’s you!”

What the fuck was wrong with this guy’s timing anyway?

Of course he was out gardening. “Hi, Basil.”

“Hi,” he tried to wipe the dirt that stuck in his cheek but only ended up smearing it further. “What’s up?”

Judging by his expression, he absolutely knew about the breakup.

“Nothing much. I’m on my way to Gino’s. You hungry?”
“Oh, um, sure! I could use a break. Just… Uh, Aubrey?”
“Yes Basil?”
“Could you… Help me with this one? Let’s finish this real quick and I’ll change and then… Oh, wait, maybe I should shower. Hm, maybe Polly can… Wait, she quit last month… Ha ha…”

Aubrey opened her mouth, but her stomach growled loud enough for Basil to notice. Without further ado, Basil slapped his knees and got up with urgency: “Alright! I’ll be back in ten minutes or so.”

“Great, thanks.” She said with such indifference, even when her face was tinted pink.

--

On their way to Gino’s Aubrey was surprised about how they didn’t run into anyone. Even when Basil frequently stopped to make obligatory chitchat as the town’s official people pleaser. Now that Hero moved out, it was passed onto Basil. Aubrey was so close to use him as a garnish when they finally arrived at the pizzeria.

“One hero sandwich please. And if you complain about this being a pizza place, I’ll literally kill you. Here, a little extra for shush money.” Aubrey tipped with a generous smile on her face. Thank god Cesar knew when to shut up. Basil looked at Aubrey with such worry, as he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to her on their way there. It was nerve-wrecking.

Basil loved Aubrey, he had always admired her strength but he also knew how headstrong she was. Ever since they were kids, he was aware of Sunny’s little crush, and they had his support fully, but he also wondered how’d they even work as a couple. Which was why he wasn’t so surprised about the break-up. As for Sunny, on the surface he didn’t change much. But when Basil saw him equip Mari’s old softball bat to appear intimidating, he understood something was terribly wrong.

Still, he knew not to open that can of worms. Neither would talk if he asked anyway. Not when it was this fresh.

“Gosh, I fucking hate Sunny.”

…Or so he thought. Here came the worms.

“Don’t say that, Aubrey! I know you don’t.” Basil immediately tried to make damage control. Not that he actually believed her words.

“But I do.” Aubrey leaned against the counter and watched people through the shop’s glass door. “Basil, you told me he liked me ever since we were kids, Sunny sure had a funny way of showing it.”

Basil just looked at her with unease. As he expected, Sunny probably didn’t communicate well with him. But he also had a good idea about Aubrey’s actions. “Um, Aubrey, maybe it’s the other way around…”

“Say that again.” Aubrey turned to face him, appearing intimidating despite being the shorter one.
“I…I’m sorry!”
Basil was backed into a corner when Cesar announced: “One hero sandwich and veggie pizza, here!”

Saved by the order, it seemed.
…Or not?

Basil almost dropped his tray when he saw Sunny eating with Kel. He could not let Aubrey see him. Not yet. Just not yet. He stood in front of her, hoping he would be able to block her view.

“Aubrey, let’s just… Have a picnic or something! This place’s too closed off.”

Aubrey stopped for a second and sighed. “Yeah, I’m feeling a little claustrophobic myself. For… Various reasons.” She then turned to the poor Cesar and scolded him once again: “Why don’t you have outdoor seatings anyway?”

“It’s not something he could control, Aubrey. Now, be a dear and wait for me outside, alright?” He shooed, then turned to Cesar with a bashful smile. “Um, could you put these in a bag please? Sorry about my friend. She’s… Not doing well.”

“When is she doing well anyway?” Cesar answered.

In any case, Basil had succeeded in avoiding Sunny and Kel, who were too engrossed in their conversation to even notice their presence.

“No, Sunny, I’m not coming to church with you. And I’m not sure why you are going either. You never do! And now that you decide to do so, you’re going with a bat that you use to intimidate kids. Which isn’t very Christian of you.”
“…”
“Also, if you keep on swinging that bat like that, you’re going to strain your arm again. So, stop it!”
“I’m mourning. Let me be.”
“What are you even mourning?”
“Guess.”
“Come on, man. You know you can always make up with her. I know Aubrey. She is crazy about you.”
“Crazy as in she wants to beat me up.”
“…Well, no, that’s me. Dude, you know that no one has seen her since last week, right?”
“She probably skipped town or something.”
“Basil said her bike remained parked. And that he hasn’t seen her leave either.”
“Really?”
“Sunny, I mean it. She cares about you a lot.”
“I don’t know. She was pretty mad.”
“Aubrey? Being mad? Totally off-brand for her. I’m telling you, just talk to her.”

Sunny did not answer and instead pulled a pepperoni from his slice. “Honestly I don’t even fuck with pizza that much anymore, why didn’t we order a sandwich?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I can eat your slice too.”
“No.” Kel did not contribute a single penny for this pizza, after all.

Despite his refusal, Kel ended up eating the most of it, as Sunny admittedly didn’t have the best appetite. He’s never felt this pathetic, after all, which didn’t do wonders to his motivation to take care of himself.

To feel a little better, he decided to act all cool about it. Maybe if he was intimidating and charismatic, Aubrey would take him back. She’d always loved Space Boyfriend after all.

Yeah, Captain Spaceboy, the man and the moment. A leader. Maybe Sunny could start his own gang and be its leader. He was sure he’d do well.

God, who was he kidding? He was doing all this because this was actually easier than expressing his own feelings, which was what Aubrey had truly wanted all along. She wanted a kiss on her forehead and flowers by her side time to time. Yes, she did want someone braver, but it was as in showing affection to her, which the Space Boyfriend capable of. Which Sunny wasn’t.

When Aubrey told him that she loved his useless self, Sunny tried to get the words out, but it was impossible. He just stared at her, his whole body tensed as her almond eyes that he always liked bored into his soul. She got progressively angrier, and it got harder to get the words out. It’s been a week now and the memory of Aubrey fighting back tears out of pure embarrassment still wouldn’t leave his memory. Anytime he closed her eyes, he’d see her flushed face, scrunched nose and fiery brown eyes. The way she sat up and how cold the night breeze felt against his skin, but he was too stressed to actually sense the weather. It was scary in a heartbreaking way.

“All because I wouldn’t watch Gilmore Girls with her.”
“Stop it. I’m not that stupid. When are you going to tell me the real reason?”
“It’s… It’s the truth.”
Kel just sighed. “Bro, it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me. Just don’t lie. Basil loves that show anyway, she doesn’t need you in that department.”
“…She doesn’t need me?”
“Why do you look so sad now?”
“Maybe Lorelai wasn’t so bad.”
“…”

Sunny grew apart from Mari naturally as she got her degree and slowly built a career for herself, but at times like this, he thought Mari was more skilled in handling his (now ex) girlfriend, and he really wanted to ask her for advice. Even so, he knew she’d tease him for the next ten years if he were to do that, so he gave up on asking.

But Basil wouldn’t be so cruel.

“Kel, we need to find Basil.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to beat him up for watching Gilmore Girls with my girl, what do you think dumbass?”
“Sunny, this is not a smart idea that boy works out while caring for his plants.”
“Tell me you didn’t actually take it seriously.”
“…Of course not.”
“Okay, I will stop being sarcastic when you’re around for the foreseeable future.”
“Fair.”
“Kel?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you really think he could beat me up?”
“Well…”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“Glad we’re on the same page.”

---

The next morning, Aubrey came over to hang out at Basil’s. They were sprawled on the couch, eating take out pizza and watching a reality show. Everything seemed serene for a while.

“Basil.”
“Yes, bun?”
“I did see Sunny at Gino’s.”
“Oh.”
“…Thanks.”
Basil didn’t answer the girl, instead giving her his signature warm smile.
“What’s up with the bat?”
“I don’t think he knows himself.”
“Well, he seemed to be doing well.”
To this, Basil couldn’t hold back a laughter. “You think?”
“You know, Basil. I’ve had my fair share of bad relationships.”
“Yeah… I do.” Basil got goosebumps as he remembered the e-mails and phone calls he’d receive from Aubrey, talking shit about her current partner.
“So I thought Sunny would be different. That he’d actually like me. That he’d… Cherish me. Is it selfish of me, I wonder?” Aubrey sat up, her pink-dark brown hair looking dishevelled.
“No, of course not.” Basil muted the TV and looked at her.
“Then why did he not say it back? If he won’t, who will? In the end, maybe I really am unlovable.”
“Um, bun, I take it that you told him that you loved him?”

Realizing she just confessed something she swore she would never, Aubrey froze for a second. Shame engulfed her body in waves, and frustrated, she shoved the last bit of pizza onto her face. “Let’s go outside.” Oh, she was running away.

Seeing his honorary sister this flustered, Basil held back a chuckle in order to not meet her wrath. He couldn’t hold back a grin, though. He followed after her.

“Well, Aubrey, I love you.” He said once they were outside.
Aubrey stared at him in confusion. “I love you too, Basil. Where’d that come from?”
“What I mean is, you are not unlovable. I’ve always adored you ever since we were kids, bun. I was so happy when you introduced me to the others, I thought to myself ‘Wow! This cool girl thinks I’m neat enough to introduce me to her friend group!’.”
“Come on now. You’re pretty awesome yourself. I don’t think our friend group would have worked without you, in a way.”
“Well… I’m flattered, but let’s put that aside for a second. You’re measuring your worth by the words of someone who rarely spoke until he graduated middle school. That’s not fair. You know that.”
“Even so!”

They remained silent for a while, sounds of cicadas filling in. Sunlight was beaming, and the heat didn’t do wonders to Aubrey’s temper. Even so, she did her best to remain calm.

“I think mom’s got a new boyfriend.” Aubrey blurted once they arrived at the park.
“Oh. And how do we feel about this?”
“Fine, I guess. She is not home, so that’s cool.”
“I’m glad.” It would be awkward for pretty much anyone else, but Basil knew Aubrey’s home life the best.
“Um… I’m sorry to ask you for this, but… The mess is too much for me to handle. So, I was wondering…” Basil did not let her finish the sentence.
“Of course I can help clean up, Aubrey. Plus, I get to see your bunny. I miss her.”
“I’m sure she misses you too. At the very least, the snacks you bring.”

Basil just chuckled shyly. They settled on the park bench and talked about what to buy for the clean-up. They decided they would stop by Othermart after this.

“Thank you, Basil. You’re so easy to talk to. God, easier than my ex-boyfriend for sure.”
Basil took a deep breath, then turned to his best friend with a nervous smile on his face. “I think you’re being a bit harsh on Sunny, bun.”
Aubrey immediately crossed her arms. “Well, he hasn’t been the nicest himself.”
“True. But…”
She groaned. “Now what, Basil?”
“Nothing! Nothing, okay?” Why did she bother to ask for his opinion if she was going to get mad anyway?
“Come on, tell me. I promise I’ll be calm about this.” She then proceeded to hit Mikhael with the rock she found on the ground.

“Ouch-! What the fuck, man!” Mikhael faced them, the anger on his face immediately turning into fear once he saw Aubrey. “Oh, it’s Aubrey. Uh… Never mind! Have a nice day, you two.” He hurried away. Possibly to report to Kim.

“Yeah, got it out of my system, I can now guarantee that I won’t get mad,” Aubrey smiled to now horrified Basil.
“Please don’t throw rocks at our friends, Aubrey? Maybe? Please?”
“Maverick doesn’t count. See? I’m even using his preferred name.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s The Maverick, but okay.”
“Dude, don’t change the subject!”
“I was about to say that… I think your impatience is clouding your judgement. I think… You need to trust in Sunny more.”

A sigh left her lips as she averted eyes and looked at someplace far, far away.

“I knew you were going to say that. My temper’s costing me everything. I know that.”
“Then what?”

“I guess… I really tried hard to make it work with Sunny. I tried to embrace his silly nature. When he couldn’t get the words out, I waited until he did. I talked when he fell silent. I rambled more. More and more, until there weren’t any words left in me.”

“And what did he do after that?”
“He just… I don’t know, he’d make an obscure video game reference, tell me an animal fun fact and so on. You know Sunny.”
“You don’t think he tried? At all?”
“I think he did, in his own way. When I got mad at him, he’d look up fun facts about bunnies and try to get my attention. I’ll admit, he rarely failed.”
“But… I assume that’s not what you wanted.”
“Yeah. Even so, my patience was stretched thin at his silence. His inaction. I don’t think I told him what I wanted properly.”
“And now you think it’s too late.”
“I just wanted him to work for it. I think… In the end, during the breakup I mean, I communicated what I expected. But he never even bothered me. Fuck, Basil, of course I think it’s too late. Isn’t it natural? See, he is not even fighting for me.”

Basil didn’t say anything, but from his expression it was clear that he thought both of them were complete idiots.

Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to judge Aubrey too much. He knew what it felt like being left behind by parental figures. He knew that it resulted in aching for someone to fight for you. It created an itch which could only be scratched by someone choosing you over and over again. Someone safe and stable, even when you weren’t the sanctuary you asked for yourself.

Feelings of sympathy overflowing out of him, all of a sudden, Basil found himself lunging towards Aubrey, wrapping his arms around her. “Poor bunny, c’mere!” He chirped.

“What- oh god, Basil!”
“Just accept the love! Here, take it! Hehe.”
Basil ended up enveloping Aubrey in a warm hug, his one hand stroking her hair.
“Jeez, dude. We’re in public. Tone it down a little…” Even so, Aubrey found herself giving in to the affection she really needed.
“It’s fine, it’s fine! You’re going to make it work. I know it. I’ll help you.”
“Make what work now?” Said a voice, which belonged to neither of them.
“Sunny?” Aubrey gently pushed Basil away and straightened her posture in nervousness.
“I see you moved on rather quickly.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
“…No.”
Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Thank god. Let’s go, Basil. We have things to do.”
“Wait, Aubrey,” Kel called out. “I really think you should talk things over.” It did work. Aubrey stopped in her tracks, turning to face Kel.
“You know, I think it’s ironic how it’s you who is asking me to talk it out.” She spat out, all while shooting daggers at Sunny.
“Instead of Sunny?”
Aubrey deadpanned. “Yeah. Instead of Sunny.”

Kel, too, redirected his gaze towards him with a sheepish look on his face. “Dude, I hate to say it, but she is kind of right. This is your fight, not mine.”

Sunny just gulped and looked into Aubrey’s eyes with intensity he’d rarely showcase. Still, no word left his mouth though.

“We’re all adults here. If Sunny wanted to talk to me, I’m sure he would. Come on, Basil.”

Before being pulled away by Aubrey, Basil saw Sunny gesturing him to call him later. He did not relay it to Aubrey though.

“Okay, that was so embarrassing.” Aubrey said as they sat on the bench near Othermart.
“I guess being twenty-one does not take the teenager drama out of you.”
“That hurts, especially coming from my most soft-spoken friend.”
“Really? I thought Charlene took the cake on that.”
“Huh. I guess you got tougher as time went on.”

There was silence. Aubrey just stared at Basil, thinking about how his friend group changed throughout years. It was a miracle how they managed to stay friends, especially after college started and they all went their separate ways. Hometown always felt like theirs, and nostalgy was suffocating in a way. She thought about the experiences that hardened Basil. Absent parents, loss of his grandma, and most recently, Polly’s retirement. She got married and decided to have children on her own instead of babysitting this now grown man.

Grown man, huh? Basil was a grown man now. He wasn’t the shy boy she met on the side of the road. He wasn’t the guy who cried when they graduated from middle school. He wasn’t the guy who got all quiet and depressed when Mari and Hero left for college, constantly asking Aubrey about if the ones left behind could remain friends. Kel would always reassure him for that. Now that she thought about it, Kel really did mature. Even their most recent interaction proved that. Five years ago, he would be the self-proclaimed spokesperson for Sunny, defending him. The change was so quick, too. As Sally grew up, it was as if he did a complete 180 and instead became this responsible older brother figure. He even got popular because of how unintentionally charismatic he ended up being. Aubrey was sure Mincy’s crush on him was nearing five to six years or so, but he was too oblivious to notice it. In any case, Kel ended up being the beloved boy of the town, renowned for his ability to ease and lift people up, without even trying to. Kind of like his brother, just more boyish.

He was still an idiot, though. Could barely read the room sometimes. Things needed to be spelt out for him. Even Sunny was better at understanding the atmosphere than Kel. Well, Sunny’s always been an observer Aubrey supposed. An observer, not an intervener. That was the problem.

“I’ll have to face Sunny sooner or later. I can’t keep running away.”
“Let him come to you. It’s better if you two are alone.”
“Yeah, I’m actually ashamed that I let you guys intervene. We aren’t kids anymore.”
“When we get together, sometimes it feels that way though.”
A bittersweet smile from both of them softened the atmosphere. “I know what you mean. I hate it.”
“No, you don’t.”

Chapter Text

The door opened with a low creak. A blond boy entered, letting the evening light in with himself. He had a tired look on his face as he locked himself in. The house was quiet. Eerily quiet. He knew it’d be best for his mental health to let go of this place and move someplace else. Possibly to his college town, where he could ditch the dorms. But letting go has never been Basil’s strong suit. And going to a different school than Sunny and Aubrey, Basil felt like abandoning this house would be just like abandoning the bonds he had with the others.

He was all alone in between these walls. Nothing but plants to keep him company. No laughter belonging to someone else. Not even a sigh of relief. Even though he knew it wasn't true, Basil felt like he was one and the same with this house. Day by day the memories blurred together, burned onto something else he couldn't make out and tainted in the end. Belonging to no one but him. But that wasn't right, was it? The truth was, this place was full of things that belonged to other people, to the point of turning into a quiet mosaic of Basil's loved ones, their memories resonating in every corner; yet no matter how loud his daily life was the silence behind the door never failed to suffocate Basil. It was as if he couldn't hear the memories anymore. After all, grandma was long gone. She couldn’t cheer Basil up with sweets, or a new seed for him to plant. Polly wasn’t there to get him out of bed for especially difficult summer mornings, either. Which would end up in long hours of ennui. All of the memories he had associated with this house would end up seeming unreal. All fake, not an ounce of life oozing out. After all, to make this place lived in was a burden placed on his shoulders specifically. Basil wasn’t the one to liven things up, though. He could help things live, thrive even, but he couldn’t give them life or energy. That was Kel’s job. Or people like him. It wasn’t Basil’s place to meddle with.

In any case, he needed to change out of these clothes. They really took the toll after the day spent cleaning up the mess Aubrey’s mother left behind.

His gaze shifted to the phone when he got from the floor to go to his room. He remembered that Sunny asked for him to call. Basil decided to just invite him over.

It was the fastest Sunny had ever come to visit.

“Even when I sobbed on the call, you would not show up as fast as you just did. What’s wrong with you.”
“I’m literally Captain Space Boyfriend now.”
“What?”
“Just… Here, I brought tofu. I’m sorry. Can I come in?”
“Sure. Make yourself at home.”
“You know I will.”

Basil smiled as he put the tofu away. Despite his cocky claims, Sunny couldn’t really relax, instead settling to sit on the chair around the table nearby, all while fiddling with his fingers and bouncing his leg.

“You’re here to talk about Aubrey, I assume?” Basil asked as he sit down.
“Yeah. I was trying to reach out since yesterday. I mean, it’s not like I could ask Mari. Though she’s coming over with Hero tomorrow.”
“What! Sunny, what?” Even though he said the last sentence in a quieter tone, Basil would not let that pass. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”
“I just learnt that myself.”
“Well, that’s great news. I’m sure she’d help smooth things over.”
“Yeah…” Sunny did not seem so sure of himself.
“Come on! You know Mari. Aubrey’s always looked up to her.”
“So! About that…”
“Yeah?”
“Mari doesn’t know.”
“What do you mean she doesn’t know?”
“I think that this is none of her business.”
“Ugh, Sunny…”
“There is a reason I came to you for advice, Basil.”
“You know what I’d say though. Don’t you?”
“I… Don’t actually.”
“I’d say… Ask her yourself. About what she really wants. And tell her that you love her back.”
Cut to Sunny’s ears turning red.
“Love, huh? Now that’s a big word.”

“Sunny, you’d been crushing on her for years now. Every girl you’ve ever dated had that punkish look. You had a boyfriend, and even he had that bad boy vibe for crying out loud! Dyed blue hair and all that… I mean; even if we ignore your dating history, we can’t ignore that one sketch of yours.”

“…What sketch? I don’t remember any sketches.” Sunny’s fiddling had increased, and he was very clearly averting Basil’s eyes.
“Sure buddy. You’re telling me you don’t remember sketching many Aubreys chasing you? Fighting over you, even? Jesus, I am now realizing just how messed up that was. They really should’ve sent you to a therapist.”
“First, pot calling the kettle black. Second, dude, I know. It’s just… Not easy for me to say that.”
“Why, muffin?”

Muffin. He could never get used to that pet name. Basil was too corny sometimes. “It just… It just doesn’t come so easy to me. I feel like it’s not true enough. That it is not real enough. I’ve liked her for so long that…”
“Wait, wait. Okay, I’m just going to ask you two questions. Answer with yes or no only. Are you not satisfied with your relationship, Sunny? Do you genuinely feel like in the long run, it won’t work?”
“No and no.”
“Then what is holding you back?”
“I can’t do it like you, Basil. I can’t call my girlfriend, let alone friends muffin or something, it’s just… It’s not me, you know.”
“It’s not Aubrey, either. To say I love you without hearing it first, I mean.”
“Really?”
Instead of answering (because he’d probably insult Sunny if he did), Basil got up to boil some water. “Would you like some tea? I have black and green.”
“Sure, I can have a cup of black tea.”
“Certainly.” This was going to be a long talk, after all.
“Well, back to the topic. Did Aubrey really treat me differently than her previous exes?”
“What do you think? Aubrey told you she loved you, no?”
“Yeah.”
“And broke up with you over thinking you didn’t share the sentiment, right?”
“…I guess.”

With a sigh, Basil served the tea. “Okay, let’s do it like this. Tell me what you like about Aubrey. Nothing dramatic. It can be anything at all.”

“I like how she picks her nose when she thinks no one’s watching.”
“…Wow, okay.” Starting off strong, Basil thought.
“She does it with a tissue, so it’s fine. I mean I guess I still wouldn’t mind if she did it bare-handed, but…”
“Moving on!”
“I like how her voice cracks when she’s embarrassed, and I like how late she dyes her roots. It gives her a unique look. Like a cute swamp-monster. I’d love to visit someplace with swamps with her one day. Do you think she’d be afraid? I think she’d be braver than me.”
“…” Basil couldn’t help smiling.

“And, um, I also… I like how she always listens to my nonsense. Kind of like you’re doing right now. Well, even this doesn’t count because you actually asked. And this is relevant. Anyway, in her case, I could be telling her something I made up and she always listens like it’s the directions to the philosophy stone or something. I mean, even you wouldn’t do that, Basil. She does get super mad when I tell her I lied, though. I… Might like that, too. Aubrey’s the best at getting mad. Even the slight wrinkle she has on her forehead is the cutest.”

“What else?”

“I like… How she never pops her pimples and scolds me when I try to pop mine. Apparently it leaves a mark or something. Aubrey cares about that stuff. I once watched her skincare routine. She’s always so committed, even royal to a fault. To routines, to people… Did you know that she once fought with Miss Candice because she almost handed Kim and Vance to the police? She doesn’t listen to any right or wrong when it comes to protecting those who she loves, either. Or maybe she does. After defending them.”

“She is feisty like that, isn’t she? Our little gladiolus.”

“Yeah. She is a gladiolus. But, you know, she is not just that. She always carries snacks to feed stray cats. I really like that about her. And… God, I absolutely love, and I mean love, when I start to meow she just answers with more meowing. I love that our way of thinking is more similar than you’d take it. It’s like we are cut out of the same cloth.”
“See?”
“See what?”
“You said love just now.”
“But… I mean, this is different, isn’t it?”
“Sunny, you literally told me you liked the way she picked her nose. That would’ve been enough, really.”
Sunny just laughed. Kind of laugh that made his whole body move, which eventually relaxed his muscles. He didn’t realize how on edge he was until that laughter. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“I’m sure you’re going to make a great couple, muffin. You just need to try a bit harder.”

Sunny fell silent after that. He looked at his reflection on the cup and wondered what went wrong. Aubrey was Aubrey. She would always remain as the brightest star in Sunny’s eyes. A force of nature, even. He always admired her presence, her warm smile that was oddly contagious, even for his stoic expression. Honestly, he never understood what she saw in him. He remained as the dorky gamer boy who still did not speak much. Sunny knew of Aubrey’s partners. All of them seemed cool. One of them was the head of some sort of committee, even.

That’s why he simply just froze when Aubrey told him that she loved him. Aubrey? The gorgeous girl she liked since middle school? The one he thought he could never get tired of listening, even when she talked about a random chick flick Mari liked? The one he daydreamed about throughout the high school, only to never even gather to courage to ask for prom?

Honestly, it was with the help of others that Sunny managed to start dating Aubrey. It was at the end of the winter break last semester. After she let it slip to Kel, he came running straight to Sunny. Basil knew all along but expected them to figure it out instead. However, Kel wasn’t as patient. He gave it to him straight, almost killing Sunny with the impact. When he got back to his feet, Sunny took her out to hang out in their secret spot. They laid down on the blanket Mari left behind. Sunny could hear his own heartbeat, but he swore his stoic expression remained. It didn’t. Aubrey laughed at him for that reason. He could feel himself come undone upon hearing her laugh.

Aubrey then reached out to touch his pinkie. At the very least, Sunny could grab her hand. His hand was super sweaty, but Aubrey didn’t seem to mind. She rubbed his hand with her thumb, mentioning how soft his skin was. She later talked about how Sunny never made her feel like she needed to put a façade. To hide herself to appear like someone else. She talked about how Basil thought she was always true to herself, but Aubrey didn’t think so. Even with him, whom she considered as her brother, Aubrey would sometimes feel the need to hide her feelings. But not with Sunny. Never with Sunny.

Sunny remembered asking her “Why now?” back then. To which Aubrey just answered that she didn’t know. That she thought it’d be weird and that it’d hurt the whole friend group, which he knew was practically her family. She then told him that even so, this was a risk she was willing to take. Because she wanted to squeeze his cheeks comfortably, to cuddle with him on the bus rides. That she didn’t want to hold back anymore, that only thing she wanted to hold was him.

Admittedly, she did not say the last part out loud, but Sunny swore he heard it. Despite her long confession, all Sunny could say was he always thought that she was amazing, that she was too cool for him, but there was nothing more in the world he wanted to do than to cuddle her. And that was it. Just like that, they started dating. They did indeed cuddle, but it wasn’t on the bus ride, it was on their way back to the college dorms during the flight.

When did it start, Sunny wondered. He never held back when Aubrey initiated affection, but he could never start it. Then Aubrey would get sulky and distant. He would try his best to calm her down, listen to her vent. Aubrey would eventually vent about something else. Sunny always figured that Aubrey had other things going on, and that was why she got so pissed at him. That he wasn’t the actual problem, but now that he reflected on it all; he was, wasn’t he?

Granted, Aubrey had her faults. During a fight, she became increasingly mean. Saying things like he was driving her crazy and she was an idiot for expecting anything from him. That she should’ve never bothered. That Sunny clearly didn’t give two shits about her, and she was wasting her time on him. Soon after, she started crying and apologizing though. She, too, would blame her problems on someone else. Whether it’d be her mother or father. Or some classmates. Or a coworker from her part-time job.

Wow, they really were still kids, weren’t they?

Even so, Aubrey must’ve felt grown enough to confess her true feelings to him. To be able to tell him that she loved him. That too, happened in their secret hangout spot. After Sunny came to threw rocks at her window, which he managed to succeed in after an embarrassing number of attempts. Aubrey laughed at his inability, but never really teased him about it. She seemed endeared, even.

Sunny wasn’t sure he was as grown though. He knew despite all those bumps, he still wanted Aubrey by his side. But could he really tell him that he was in love with her? He knew he was. He wanted to tell her he was. Then what was he afraid of? He needed to man up. To become the Space Boyfriend she had always wanted.

But maybe that was it. He wasn’t the Space Boyfriend. He could never be him. He was Sunny. Quiet, awkward. A nerdy daydreamer. Someone who decided not to speak unless absolutely necessary until the age of fifteen. Just because he started dating someone cool did not mean he became some sort of a dreamboat himself. He’d still be in the shadow of his overly perfect sister, who dated overly perfect Hero, and the two of them appeared like the personification of the American Dream or something. Sunny paled in the comparison of them. Or any of his friends, really. He didn’t have Basil’s affectionate nature, or his tendency to groom himself. He wasn’t as tall and muscular as Kel either, and certainly not as likeable. He was meant to be in the background. To just be the observer, to just be the listener when they needed him to be. He never thought he’d get this far with Aubrey. Yet there he was.

He didn’t know how to convey her those feelings swirling inside him. The feeling of suffocation, absolutely humiliating sensation of inadequacy. He desperately wanted to show up for her, to make her eat her words for being so mean to him that one time, but more than that, he wanted her to know that he was also all in. Even though he could not convey it well.

What could he do? How could he tell her? Not with his own words, certainly. Whenever he tried, it’d get jumbled up and turn into some sort of an animal mating ritual fact. At best, a gift for Bun-Bun. It’d make her laugh, sure, but that never actually solved anything.

Suddenly, something caught Sunny’s eye. Tangled with the earphones on the kitchen counter, he noticed Basil’s brand-new iPod. He physically felt the lightbulb appear on top of him. Of course, this was genius. He should’ve thought about this before! How come he did not?

If he couldn’t tell her directly, he could use someone else’s words to convey his feelings. It could… Be a start, at the very least.

Basil was weirded out. He turned to see what Sunny was staring at. “Is there something wrong with my iPod, Sunny?”
“No, no. It’s fine. I, uh, need to go now. Something urgent came up.”
“Um, okay, I guess? When’ll Hero and Mari be here?”
“Afternoon. See you then.”
“Break a leg, best friend.”

Chapter Text

Mari and Hero’s arrival caused quite the commotion in their respective households. They both were the favourite children that easily outshone their siblings, after all. Aubrey waited all day just to hang out with Mari for a little bit. She missed her a lot. That was her sister, too.

After a heartwarming dinner, Mari asked to step outside to take a stroll. Sunny tagged along and then came Hero with his brother.

“Oh, Mari, you cut your hair!” Kel remarked. “It suits you.”
“It’s the same old bob I’ve worn for years now. But thanks, Kel. You really know how to speak to a girl. Unlike a certain someone.”
It was that instant that Sunny thought to himself: “Fuck, she knows”.
Aubrey must’ve told her.
“What?” He asked, visibly irked.
“If the shoe fits.”

Sunny didn’t even have it in himself to get actually offended. He just averted his eyes and fastened his steps to get away from her.

They were on their way to their old hangout spot, which, frankly, put Sunny on the edge. After all, she would be there too. Even so, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get Mari to change the meeting spot to the treehouse or something. Seriously, Sunny missed that treehouse. It was stuffy but still somewhat comfortable. The hangout spot was full of flies. There was a lake, for god’s sake! Of course annoying mosquitos would show up to ruin everyone’s lives.

But alas, they were all here. It was a happy reunion.
“Mari, Hero!” Basil got up to run and hug them. “Welcome home.”
“We’re home.” Mari and Hero said at the same time, which was followed by a laugh at their own cheesiness.

The forgotten spot was illuminated by various hurricane lanterns, creating a cosy atmosphere. “It’s beautiful. You’ve really outdone yourself, kids.” Hero said.
“I’ll have you remember that none of us are kids anymore.” Aubrey corrected him, all while fighting off some flies that buzzed around the lights.
“Oh, true! Which is why… We’ll have to celebrate! We need to take you kids to drinking. Sunny’s first ever drinking session! Isn’t it great?” Mari sang, her hands clenched together.

Sunny and Kel just stared at each other, with his dark, sharp eyes sending signals for Kel to shut the fuck up; as the latter tried his best to not burst out with laughter.

Mari had her own naïve moments, surprisingly. Kel had lost count of how many times Sunny had gotten in trouble precisely because of alcohol. He was a messy drinker. Not that he got all emotional, he just turned into a damn gremlin who’d inconvenience people around him. Compared to Sunny, Kel knew how to handle his liquor; he’d started before Sunny, after all. Being sort of a jock had its benefits.

But maybe, this time would be different. Sunny wasn’t sure himself. His emotions weren’t the most stable, and the reason for his uproar would be right by his side. Surely, she would object, right?

“Ever since I started high school, I’ve kind of always wanted to drink with you, Mari. I was curious about what kind of a drunk you would be.”
Crap. Her love for Mari was too strong for her to object.
“Oh, come on! I’ve never gotten drunk. I drink moderately.”
Hero cleared his throat. With a tentative smile, he placed a hand on Mari’s shoulder. “You really think so?”
“Hero. What’s with that utterly confused reaction? It’s true.”
“Um…”
“Now I am getting curious too.” Kel gave Mari a toothy grin and leaned on his brother. “Tell us, bro! What does she do?”
“Nothing, nothing!”
“Yeah Hero, tell them, what do I do?”
Cornered by Mari, Hero’s smile widened and didn’t seem so uncomfortable anymore. He even seemed to recall some fond memories. “You… Get cute.” He said dreamily.
“Huh?”
“Um, before we go out, can we make a quick stop so that I can take my camera? Pretty please?”
“What’s that supposed to mean!” Ignoring both Basil and Aubrey, Mari tried to confront her boyfriend. “Am I not cute usually?”
“No, of course not! You’re cute as a button. I love you for that.”

Aubrey flinched upon hearing the last sentence. She took a step back. Sunny could somehow physically feel her distancing. He followed her footstep in a way that was so subtle, yet so brave if someone where to notice it; even so, he couldn’t feel himself get even an inch closer.

“Then what do you mean?” Mari’s questioning continued.
“Normally, you’re put together, you see? But… Well, you enjoy wine, right? You never dine out without a sommelier?”
“True, but please don’t change the subject.”
“Are you sure you want me to say, in front of the kids?”
Make no mistake, Mari was absolutely embarrassed, but she could not back down now. “Of course! What’s up with your wording?”
Hero laughed, knowing that he’d pay for his teasing later. “When you get drunk you get affectionate. That’s it,” he admitted.
“What? That’s pretty tame!” Kel rolled his eyes and reached for the snacks they’ve brought. “Anyway, I still want to see it for myself though,” he said, before starting to chug a bottle of Orange Joe.
“Again, my camera, please!”
“Fine, we’ll get your camera, Basil. Don’t you worry.” Mari then proceeded to feed him a strawberry (as in, she just shoved it into his mouth).
“Okay then, once we eat these snacks, I’ll drive us there!”
“Aw, you won’t be drinking, bro?”
“I… Think, especially outside, it’s best if someone stays sober.”
“I don’t think I’m going to overdo myself either. I don’t like the taste of alcohol much anyway.” Basil was down to babysit. How unusual.

Even in the midst of that chaos, Aubrey was a little ashamed of making it all about herself and being unable to enjoy the rare moment of her best friend’s visit, but she couldn’t help herself from feeling like a complete loser. This romantic atmosphere made Sunny look annoyingly handsome. It was trouble. Those damn lanterns were nothing but trouble. She decided to tell him that she loved him because of them. Hell, those bug magnets were the ones to encourage her into getting into this mess in the first place.

It was strange. Even when her heart was hurting, Aubrey couldn’t say that she regretted it. Not one bit. During every glance she took at Sunny, the only thing she regretted was ending it all.

Aubrey started to realize her feelings properly once she found herself more and more involved with him, away from everyone else during college. By chance, they got in the same school; and when their schedules did not clash, she naturally started to hang out with him. Poor girl was in denial for the longest time. She felt like she only got attached because he was the only familiar face around here; which, according to her, was unfair to Sunny. She ended up trying to date others, but it was one fail after another. A vicious cycle. The cycle was finally broken when Aubrey actually realized how deep she had fallen for Sunny.

He wasn’t used to the big city. Neither to its traffic. That’s why Aubrey wasn’t exactly surprised when they called her to inform that he’s been in an accident, and that she was his emergency number, but she was absolutely shattered.

As it turned out, it was nothing big; he ended up fainting only due to shock and he got off practically scot-free with a broken arm. When he was faced with danger, Aubrey ended up crying more than she thought she would. His absence would be too big of a hit for her, as if something sacred being ripped off from her hands, leaving her heart barren but no one to turn to. Her feelings became impossible to ignore as she took care of Sunny personally, but it wasn’t like she hated it.

Aubrey liked how his eyes seemed to glimmer at the silliest things. She liked how, after all these years, he remained a mystery to her sometimes. Sunny had a unique way of thinking, a way which Aubrey didn’t exactly disagree with, even his weird metaphors made sense for her; after all, he had the habit of making her laugh with them. His clumsy nature was adorable for her, and it sure made a good excuse for her to not leave him alone. Aubrey loved how Sunny thought of his friends in his own quirky ways. She was sure no one loved the friend group quite like Sunny did. In a way, he was her safe haven thanks to his warmth. Someone she could talk to all day and night, a person whom she wanted to take care of no matter what and just continue to grow with.

Even when she made it difficult sometimes.

Aubrey snapped out of it when she felt something cold pressed against her fingers. A CD case.

Now that they were all sitting down on the blanket, Sunny was sliding it towards her, even when he wasn’t facing Aubrey. What was his problem, thought Aubrey, and slowly pulled it towards herself. Her name was written on it.

She quietly slid it into her bag. No words were exchanged.

“Okay, we’ll now drive to Basil’s house to take his camera. You kids stay here if you’d like.” Mari got up after gathering the trash.
“Oh, okay cool I’ll just chill here- ouch, Basil!”
“Kel, I need to show you something! You ought to come! Pretty please?”
“Huh? Show me later… I’m tired.”
“Kel, you’ll have to clean up if you don’t come.”
“Bye Sunny! Bye Aubrey!”

Aubrey debated tagging along but ultimately decided against it. And in the end, she was all alone with Sunny. Now what? Awkward silence filled the atmosphere, and both of them tensed slightly.

After a while, Aubrey decided to ask about the CD. “What’s up with it?” She asked while pulling it out.

Despite being the one to give it to her in the first place, Sunny seemed to stumble over his words, nervously pulling his jacket down. “I… I did my best. I just… I just want you to know that I did my best.”
“You wrote a song for me?”
“…No. It’s… It’s a playlist. I… Tried to find the songs that… That reminded me of you.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but you do not want to hear me sing.”
“I’m not disappointed.” Before she realized, the CD was pressed on her chest and her heart was thumping against it. She wanted to screw the whole thing and just go home straight to listen.
“Oh. Okay then. Cool.”
“Let’s clean this up and just get out of here.”
“Sure. Whatever.”

Sunny was trying to be nonchalant about it but he seriously thought Aubrey looked absolutely adorable just now. What was up with those sparkly eyes? Did she want Sunny to lose it?

“Um, Aubrey?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we kiss and make up now?” In any case, Sunny ended up losing it.
“Aaand, you ruined it.”
“Oh, come on. I’m just telling you how I feel.”
“Jesus, Sunny. Forget it.”

Having finally gathered all the trash, Aubrey turned around to leave the hangout spot. Sunny followed suit.

He wanted to apologize, but instead of doing that, he continued to follow Aubrey all the way to the trash bins, and then to the swings. She didn’t seem to reject his presence, at the very least. And it was just like in the old days. Aubrey and Sunny. On the swings. Only difference was that they were about nine years older now and that no one was talking.

“It’s… Um, nostalgic, isn’t it?” He was the one to break the silence, uncharacteristically.
“Nostalgia is hell of a make-up.”
“Do you hate it, then?”
“Not really, no. It’s just, well, you know? When I look back, all I can remember is how supported I was, and I… Feel welcome. Warm. But then I go home and remember how ugly it also was. That’s why the dorms back in college is way more comfortable. Nostalgia is far more effective back there.”
“I understand.”
She turned around to face him. A smile was there. “I knew you would.”
They were too big for the swings now, but neither of them seemed to care. “How’s your arm now, Sunny?”
“Better. Thanks to you.” He blushed slightly.
Thankfully, Aubrey didn’t notice it and instead changed the subject. “And Mari? Does she leave you alone now?”
“She’s my sister. She’ll always boss me around.”
“I think we should tell her about your drunken adventures.”
“For her to snitch on me?”
“No way! She would?”
“Why are you surprised? She’ll just go to mom and dad with her glossy eyes, tell them how worried she is about me and that she wants the best for me. The Snitch Queen.”
“Frustration, you have no problem conveying I see.”
“…Sorry.”
“Yeah, no, me too. I made it about me again. I guess I was a bit caught off guard. I agree that Mari is too harsh with you sometimes.”
“She suffocates me with annoyance. Maybe if you were to suffocate me with love…”
“Don’t go there, Sunny.”
“A man can dream.”

And all of a sudden, Aubrey started to laugh. She laughed so much that the swings started to squeak with her movements. The empty playground resonated with her laughter. Sunny was feeling quite proud of himself at that moment.

Soon, they saw the headlights of Hero’s ’96 Chevy Corsica and their sweet moment came to an end.

The swing squeaked as Aubrey got up to walk towards the now parked car. “Just so you know, I still haven’t forgiven you.”

“Figures. Neither did I.” Aubrey stopped in her tracks for a moment and turned towards Sunny. His expression was unreadable under the dim lights, and neither of them uttered a word as they walked towards the car.

Of course Sunny was mad at her as well. Why wouldn’t he be? It dawned on Aubrey so suddenly. Yes, Sunny remained passive during the fights; but it wasn’t like Aubrey left him any room to speak.

“Okay, Basil’s going to sit on my lap,” Sunny scooted over.
“Why? I am more muscular than you!”
“But you’re cuter than me. And shorter.”
“What’s that got to do with anything!”
“No one’s sitting on anyone’s lap! I’m going to sit with Mari on the front seat.”
“Ooh! Aubrey’s jealous! Sunny was jealous of Basil this morning too… A love triangle?”
“I… I’m speechless, Kel. I genuinely don’t have an answer to give you. I’m disappointed in you as your older brother.”
“C’mon, it was funny! Wasn’t it, Sunny? Huh?”
“…”
“In… Ahem, in any case, will we be fine? Isn’t it illegal for two people to occupy the front seat?” Basil tried to change the subject, despite being utterly flustered.
“It’ll be alright. Don’t worry.” “You’re the driver, so…”

And with that, everyone was settled. Kel and Hero sang loudly on their way to the nearest bar. Although he did his best to hide it, Sunny quickly noticed how passionate Basil was about Green Day when it randomly came up. He was thoroughly amused, and Basil hated it. Not that he had any room to speak when he was putting his whole heart into “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”.

“I can’t believe my childhood friends have turned into… Emos.” Was the first sentence Kel uttered once they got off.
“I’m not an emo. I’m punk! These are different things!”
“I… Wasn’t talking about you, Aubrey.”
“Well, you should’ve! Aubrey apparently loves American Idiot a bit too much.”
“Mari!”

While they were all bickering, they all made their way to the bar. It was almost like a hole-in-a-wall spot, the best Faraway young adults (and teens) could find. Kel knew this place inside and out, and was just relieved that he didn’t have to use a fake ID anymore. His overly familiar attitude did cause Hero to raise a brow, yet he remained silent. They were directed towards a booth, at least the couch looked clean.

“Oh, like you’ve got room to speak. I remember your Blur phase.” Sunny spoke once he realized Mari’s relentless teasing of his ex would not stop.
“Song 2 was a parody! It was supposed to make fun of American Grunge.” Mari instantly got on defence, even ignoring the waitress giving them a menu.
“Sure, sure. Like anyone cares.”
“Oh, is that how it is now little brother? Do you want me to tell Aubrey about your ‘N Sync phase?”
“It… It was just a single song!”
“What was it? Tell me, tell me!” Even Basil was curious enough to ignore the waitress.
“It doesn’t count, I swear!”
“How did it go again? Err… Finally when you love somebody… It’s gotta be me?”
“Oh my god Sunny.” Kel had a deadpan look, full of cringe.
“Stop it! Whenever you fought with Hero you’d blast ‘Bills, Bills, Bills’!”
“What?”
“Okay, maybe we should really stop this before someone actually gets hurt.” Surprisingly, it was Aubrey who put a stop to all that. “Besides, I think we should order soon. We’re causing a bit of a commotion here.”
“This is a pub. It’ll be fine.”
“Putting my brother’s overly familiar attitude aside,” Hero spoke, “what do you mean ‘Bills, Bills, Bills’? I am not a scrub.”
“Yeah! Even I feel sorry for Hero.” Basil chimed in.
“I was a teenager, okay? I’m sorry!” Mari shot her little brother a dirty look.
“Okay! Never mind all that, we should order now! I think I’m going to get a good ol’ Guinness.”
“A Guinness for me too.”
“Oh, your first drink is a beer! That’s my little brother.”
“…Well, what will you take, sister dearest?”
“A Cosmopolitan maybe? I’ve been binging SATC lately.”
“Well, um, a Martini for me then.”
“I see! Like Lorelai? It’s been a while since we last watched Gilmore Girls. I missed it, Aubs.”
“Me too. Basil just doesn’t cut it.”
“…I can hear you, you know.”

The years had passed, the seasons changed and so did their day to day lives, but the friend group still had each other’s back. Growing up together, facing difficulties and pain both put distance and warmth in between. In the end, they were a bunch of kids who knew each other inside out and nothing changed that.

Aubrey ended up absolutely hating the taste of a Martini. She ate the olive and forced herself to gulp it all down in one go. Basil took a picture of her. Aubrey begged him to delete it, even though she knew he couldn’t. Mari was savouring her cosmopolitan and Hero was just enjoying pub food. Sunny and Kel were on their second helping of beer already, thankfully Mari was too preoccupied with her cocktail to notice.

“This feels nice, doesn’t it?” Mari asked after her final sip. “To do grown up things with the kids I’ve grown up with.”
“Yeah, it’s also a little… Strange. I mean, I’ve never thought we’d go drinking when we were kids. ‘Cause, well, you know, I haven’t had the best impression about alcohol.”
“Well, Aubs, did your opinion change at least?” Mari put a reassuring hand on Aubrey’s back, gently moving her thumb.
“Definitely. Despite everything… This feels nice. Oh, sorry. I, um, didn’t mean to kill the vibes.”
“Nah, you’re good. We’re used to it, in a way.”
“Hey, are you calling me a party pooper, you idiot?”
“Your words, not mine,” Kel said with a smug smile on his lips. He then proceeded to take a big gulp out of his beer. “I’m going to ask for thirds. It’s on Hero anyway, right?”
“What? Wait, since when?”
“C’mon, big bro! It’s Sunny’s first niiiight.”
“Yeah Hero, come on!”
“What’s up with you people? I can’t even drink, my fiancée thinks I’m a bum, and now you expect me to pay for your drinks too? Also, there’s no way this is Sunny’s first night drinking either. Did you guys think that I’m an idiot or something?”

Silence. Just the sound of Basil drinking his soda. It’s definitely awkward.

“You guys are engaged?”
“Jesus Hero. Way to tell the kids.”
“...Yeah.”
“And for the record, I do not think of you as a bum.”
“I know that, but… I don’t know, I was a bit bummed. I guess I overreacted.”
“It’s okay, love. I did too.”
“To repeat Kel’s question: Did you guys get engaged?”
“Well, Sunny, yes…”
Sunny only got angrier. He wasn’t sure why he was offended. “When were you planning to tell us? Jesus, Mari!”
“…At the end of the night, when we paid for the drinks.”
“Well, it’s not right for the engaged couple to pay for the drinks! You guys have wedding expenses to think about.” Basil cut in.
“Our parents will help, so don’t overspend, alright?” Hero turned to Kel.
“Mom and dad knew?” Kel and Sunny cried at the same time. The betrayal… It was too much.

“You guys are missing the point!” Aubrey chimed in, “They got engaged! Engaged! We should celebrate instead of being petty about it.” And for a hot minute, Aubrey turned into her twelve-year-old self, with sparkles in her eyes and a genuine, childish smile. “Congratulations, you two! You were meant to be together.”

Basil joined. “Yes! I’ve always thought of you as a match made in heaven. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you two.”
“Thank you, guys.” Mari smiled, unclear whether if her toothy grin was caused by the Cosmo’ or not.
“Really, thank you,” Hero said, then stared at his brother. “And I think we should make up too, you gremlin, or I’m going to kiss your cheek.”
“Gosh, okay! Fine! Congratulations. Right, Sunny?”
“Congrats.”
“We were… Just taken aback. I knew this was long time coming but still.” Kel admitted shyly.
“It feels like we’ve really grown up, right?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what it is. Couldn’t have worded it better myself. Thanks, Basil.”

Aubrey fell silent while thinking about it. Nostalgia has been apparent in her life ever since they came back to Faraway, but to be slapped by the changing times like this was too harsh for her to handle. In the end, people who got married would end up changing, Aubrey knew that well. That’s what happened with her father, after all. Once he got himself a new family, Aubrey was left behind with that shit mother.

She needed a cigarette.

“I guess I’ll take a breather.” She stood up, taking her jacket and bag with her. She ordered another martini before she left.

The cool weather greeted Aubrey as she stepped outside. She rarely smoked, but always carried an emergency pack at times like this. In the distance, she saw the cars passing by, mixing into the night cityscape. As close as it got to a cityscape, anyway. They really did live in the suburbs.

She inhaled the smoke, scrunching her nose when she realized how her movements mimicked her mother’s. She swore not to smoke when she was witnessing the divorce, but then again, Aubrey was sure she had disappointed her younger self many times in the past. What was one more?

The bitter taste coated her lips, and she found herself thinking about Sunny again. About how she had hurt him, just like he did the same to her. It really was a two-way street, wasn’t it? How ironic.

In any case… Hero and Mari, they were finally getting married. Aubrey supposed twenty-four was still a bit young, but they have been dating since they were little kids. So that was okay, she thought. When it was easy, it was easy. Two of them weren’t difficult people, unlike Aubrey. They were perfect. And cool. She bet neither of them smoked a cigarette their entire lives or had a mother who did.

“Still smoking?” Her downward spiral was interrupted by a certain giant.
“Shut up, you alcoholic.” Aubrey hissed at her life long rival.
“Hey, I’m a party guy. I am supposed to drink. But even then I don’t smoke. That shit just messes with your lungs.”
“Whatever. I don’t intend on living long anyway.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re going to let me outlive you?”
“Less years of dealing with your bullshit, I guess.”
“I’ll be laughing at you in your dead bed, just so you know.”
Aubrey didn’t say a thing. She just extinguished the cigarette and crushed it under her foot. “Happy?”
“Littering is not cool. But I’m going to let it slide this once.”
“Gee thanks.”
“…Aubrey.”
“What?”
When she turned to face Kel, she saw him extending his arms towards her. “Come on. I know you could use one.”
“Not from you, asshole.”
Even so, Kel quickly enveloped the girl into a hug, despite her protests. “You need to quit smoking for good. I mean it.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Except it is. It hurts you. And I am not talking about your lungs. You are hurting yourself, which is embarrassing.”
Kel then broke the hug, staring into Aubrey’s eyes.
“What do you mean embarrassing?”
“I’m getting second-hand embarrassment. Smoking is so uncool.”
If she wasn’t in such a shitty mood, Aubrey would definitely laugh at Kel’s PSA. He acted like an adult trying to appease to teenagers. And the worst part? It somehow worked.
“…Okay. I’m going to give you my pack.”

It was a form of self-harm, quite literally. Aubrey was a bit taken aback about how Kel was able to see through that.

After Aubrey gave him her pack of Marlboro, silence settled in between the two. Being uncomfortable with these kinds of silences, Kel was the first to break it:

“So what’s got you in a mood like this? I thought you were super happy for Mari or something.”

“Yeah. I guess I really am a party pooper, huh? But I… I was happy. I was actually so happy for them. It’s just… I got emotional, okay? I got super emotional. We all grew up. Practically adults now.”

“I get it. You know, I worry about Sally. She’s still so small, but I don’t think I’ll be around for long anyway. There are little job opportunities in Faraway. I’m sad that she’s going to grow up without her brothers… And sisters, I suppose.” He said the last part while looking at Aubrey.

“When you put it that way, it really is sad. Poor Sally.”
“Hero does have a room for us in his flat, though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. After all, he is the best big bro I could ever ask for. I can never compare.”
“Being humble on purpose, you idiot?”
“What?”
“Bragging I see.”
“Oh, come on!”
“Compliment fishing.”
“You know I’m dead serious.”
“Yeah. That’s why it’s so surprising. I don’t think there is a point in comparing, Kel. That girl adores you in her own way.”
“She routinely bites me though?”
Aubrey laughed. “That’s how I know, you blockhead. She’s comfortable around you. You’ve got that gift to make people feel that way. I’m sure Sally knows that she has a brother that’s got her back, no matter the distance.”
“I don’t know man. I just try.”
“You’re doing something right.” Aubrey gave him a reassuring smile as best as she could.
---
“Psst. Hero.”
“Yes, Sunny?”
“You can call me brother-in-law now.”
“I… Will not be doing that.”
“Let’s piss like bros.”
“…Do you want me to come to the bathroom with you?”
“See? We really are like brothers. You understand my language.”

Hero did not bother answering his brother-in-law-to-be, and instead got up without a word. Except for a “To the bathroom,” to inform his fiancée, which she answered with a nod and another sip from her Cosmopolitan. She returned to criticize Mr. Big with Basil right after.

Instead of the bathroom, Sunny guided him towards the terrace. Hero, again, remained silent, already knowing what was to come.

“Once again, congratulations, bro.”
“Same to you.” He answered with a teasing smirk and raised eyebrows.
“I don’t know about that…” Sunny leaned against the railing, staring at the cityscape with an aloof expression.
“Why not?”
“I… I am a bit afraid of Aubrey.”
“Sunny, a nugget of wisdom from me to you. You’re supposed to be a bit of afraid of your girlfriend.”
Sunny could not hold back a laughter. “Why?”
“That’s just the pathway to a happy relationship.”
“Maybe. But I still think it’s a bit too far in my case.”
“Aubrey does have a sharp tongue, after all.”
“Yeah. I thought I would be the exception.”
“What did she say to you, Sunny?”
“For the record, I don’t think it was unforgivable stuff, and she did apologize immediately after, but it was like, how she shouldn’t have bothered to work it out with me, and how I don’t give a fuck about her. A bit messed up, huh?”
“I agree,” Hero nodded, “but the question is, did she regret it?”
“She burst into tears immediately after. Never repeated it again. Safe to say she did, I guess.”
“Did you forgive her?”
“At that moment I thought I did. But I think something… Just changed, you know? I mean, inside me. Any time I tried to communicate, I’d remember her words and I guess I’d give up on myself. On us, maybe.”
“But I take it you don’t want to give up.”

Sunny was silent for a second there. “…I really don’t.” was all he could muster up for a while. But then, for a split second, a fire ignited within. Perhaps it was the Guiness speaking. Even so, he continued: “I… I like her a lot. God, fuck it. I love her, Hero. I genuinely am in love with her.”

“Ignoring the profanities… Does she know that?”
Sunny rested his head on his arms, burying it on his skin. A muffled “No.” left his lips.
“It must be difficult for you. Believe it or not, it was for me too.”
“No way. No fucking way.”
“When you date someone for that long, you don’t know if you’re in love or are just used to them. I was lucky to figure it out without any big fight. And while you weren’t as lucky as me, you did leave the difficult part behind.”
“…When did you figure it out then?”
“It’ll be cliché, but high school prom.”
“Yeah I’d expect nothing less from you, honestly. Was it when you saw her come downstairs? Like the full teen movie montage or whatever?”
“No, it was when she slipped and broke her heel.”
“She did what now?”

Hero's eyes widened in shock for a second. "She never told you?" He chuckled to himself right after. "Of course she didn't. Gosh, she is too considerate."
"...Maybe it's the beer but I'm not really getting the point here?"
"Well, Sunny, Mari never told you because your father would kill me if he knew. But… Yes. She broke her heel. She does have a bad knee, after all. She had to lean on me for the remaining of the night. Her long dress covered it up, but still, she was so apologetic the whole night.”

“A side of Mari even I am yet to see.”
“And that very side made me think ‘I really want this girl to lean on me for the rest of our lives. I want to be someone she can lean on.’ Because, you know, it’s usually me leaning on her.”
“I remember the whole chaos over your major. It caused a lot of problems in our household too, you know. Dad was very jealous of you.”
“Of course I know… How can I not? That’s why I’m eternally grateful.”
“You came a long way too, huh? I know that you were Faraway’s beloved boy for the longest time, but if I need to be honest, I didn’t think you were really cool.”
“I don’t know how to answer to that remark.”
“Well, that was until you decided to pursue gastronomy.”
“If Mari didn’t encourage me, I wouldn’t…”
“I feel like you’re exaggerating my sister’s abilities a little. You’re a fast learner and a charmer, Hero. You can quite literally do anything you put your mind into. Except disappointing your parents, maybe.”
“You word it in such a way that it doesn’t feel like a compliment.”

“Well, I think you needed to disappoint them. To be cool. Then you succeeded. And you know what? I don’t know if it means anything to you but, I was quite proud of you for doing that. After that, I was assured that there was quite literally nothing you couldn’t do.”

It was Hero’s turn to laugh. “Thanks, buddy. I’m actually really comfortable with the person I am today, too. I hope you get to feel the same way someday.”
“Touche.”

Chapter Text

When they returned, Hero pressed a gentle kiss on Mari’s hand. Being a little drunk, Mari didn’t scold him like she would usually, she instead giggled and patted the seat beside her.

“Dear, how many Cosmos did you have again?”
“Like four? I don’t know. Isn’t it warm here? Oh, but you are so cold. That won’t do. Let me warm you up!” With that, Mari cozied up to her fiancée, who seemed like he was on cloud nine.

Sunny was impressed by how even after all these years, Hero was utterly in love with his sister. But then again, he figured he’d feel the same way if Aubrey were to cuddle him like that again. God, she looked beautiful. She tried new makeup, didn’t she? Sunny could recognize that subtle glittery pink anytime. It was the one she used for her graduation. Looked great on her. How could Sunny stop himself from wanting to kiss her? Especially when love was all around him, despite his wishes. He watched her as she sipped on the cocktail she swore she hated, and he turned to sip on his umpteenth Guinness.

He barely heard Basil pulling his camera and asking everyone to strike a pose. He looked at the lens like a total idiot. Great. Basil barely announced his photoshoots and now that he did, he probably looked worse than those he hadn’t. Not that he cared.

There was then a racket about Mari wanting to take a picture of Basil too, but once again Sunny was too focused on Aubrey to care.

“What?” That, Sunny heard. Loud and clear. It came from his goddess, after all.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
Aubrey rolled her eyes and grabbed his cup, “Maybe you should call it a day.”
“No,” Sunny reached out to grab her hand that was wrapped around the cup, really, it made a good excuse to hold her hand. “I don’t want to. Stop ending things without my permission.”

Aubrey was taken aback, but quickly tried to cover it up with an edgy comeback. “Well, some things don’t ask for your permission, do they?”

Sunny shrugged. “I still disapprove.”
“Okay,” she pulled her hand away, much to Sunny’s dismay, “finish this glass but call it a day. You’re not a teenager anymore.”
“…I’m like, twenty-one.”
“Still. Hangovers are a pain.”
“Nothing compared to the pain I feel.”
He made her laugh for the second time that night. “Cheesy,” she said.
“Aren’t you in pain?” He asked.
“What do you think?”
“I want to taste that Martini. That’s what I think.”
“Sure,” Aubrey extended the glass.
“No,” Sunny gently pushed it away, only to switch his gaze to her lips, “I’m sure it sucks. That’s why I need the diluted version on your lips.”

“Jesus, Sunny,” she rolled her eyes, “what the fuck?” Despite her harsh words, it was barely above a murmur, probably to hide her shaky voice. “Mari’s around, you know. You’re so sleazy.”

“I don’t care. I really want to kiss you.”
“You’re drunk.”
“No shit Sherlock.”
“You don’t care, huh?”
“I care. You just can’t see it.”
“You have a funny way of showing it, that’s why.”
“Well, you have a funny way of letting me show it.”
Aubrey sighed. “Let’s go outside. I don’t want to cause any more drama.”
Thankfully, Sunny was sober enough to walk by himself, despite stumbling one or two times.
“You kind of suck at breaking up with me.”
“Well, you suck at being dumped yourself.”
“Is that so? You disappear for a week. Only to come back as a princess or something. You’re so beautiful. What the fuck am I supposed to do with myself now?”
“Aggressive much?”
“Sorry.”
“What was up with that bat anyway? Why are you putting unneeded stress on your arm? Are you an idiot?”
“…I wanted you to think that I was cool.” He said, but seeing Aubrey dote on him like that was a bliss. Nothing was "cool" or nonchalant about that.
His goddess sighed. “You’re indeed an idiot, Sunny.”
“That’s usually what happens when one falls in love.”

Aubrey fell silent, and it felt like the world was quietening around her. She remained fixed, not moving a muscle even when her whole body burned, intoxicated with something not quite alcohol. “Fuck you,” was all she could say though.

“Huh? ‘Fuck you’? Is that… Is that it, Aubrey?” Sunny’s eyebrows were furrowed in annoyance, his lips a thin line with disappointment.
“How can I be sure that it’s not just alcohol talking?”
“And what if it is? I love you, Aubrey. Sorry for requiring liquid courage.”
There it was. Sunny confessing his feelings. Why wasn’t Aubrey satisfied then? She averted her eyes, but her fists remained clenched.
“No answer, huh. You don’t care for it anymore? Is that it?” Sunny tried again.
“I… I panicked, okay? I just… I’m… Do you really mean it?”
“Doesn’t matter now.” A loud sigh, mixed with a groan escaped Sunny’s lips. He ended up squatting with a resigned attitude. “Jesus, Aubrey,” he complained, then lifted his head to look up at her goddess, as if he was begging for mercy. She was unable to maintain eye contact after a second or so. “Come on, please. I’m trying my hardest here.”
“The way I see it, you aren’t even serious, Sunny.” Aubrey wasn’t sure she believed her own words, even less than she did in Sunny’s.
“What do I need to do for you to take me seriously? Answer me.” Sunny was slowly beginning to crack. But even so, his voice never got loud. He was still pleading.
Even so, Aubrey wasn’t the one to let go of her pride all at once. “Are you asking me for real?”
“Yes, god, I am.”
Aubrey then kneeled to the boy’s level, trying to see eye to eye with him for once. She then grabbed him by the shoulders and proceeded to command: “Then tell me exactly what you think! And… And how you really feel. Don’t filter it, don’t sugarcoat it. Give it to me straight, as messy as it is!”

Upon her words, Sunny just lowered his face, hiding it from Aubrey. The silence was palpable, and quite uncomfortable, Aubrey just moved her hands away from his shoulders. Sunny soon got up, and the girl followed suit. He had a newfound determination on his face, and despite being under the influence of alcohol, his eyes seemed to clear with such intensity that it gave Aubrey goosebumps. Sunny then took a deep breath and started to speak:

“Well Aubrey, I think the weather’s too cold, and I worry that your clothing’s a bit flimsy, then I remember how cute you are when you catch the flu, but I worry that I won’t be able to take care of you as easily as back in the dorms, then again, I guess I could find a way, especially if it means I get to spend more time with you, which, you know, even mere seconds matter to me. Especially if I can kiss you on the lips.” The last sentence was said in a way that it was barely above a whisper, though he was quick to pick himself back up: “But then again, I don’t think I want to kiss you right now. For, you see, I’m actually quite mad at you.”

Aubrey was dumbfounded. Her mouth was agape, and she had to blink one or two times to get it together. She then asked the question that she found hardest to process: “Mad? Why?”

Sunny then smiled. Out of anger or endearment dedicated to Aubrey’s confused face, even he didn’t know. It was probably a mix of both. “Why, you ask? Think about it, Aubrey. I told you that I was in love with you and you cussed me out in response.”

“Even so,” Aubrey gulped, still doubling down, “it… It was better than no answer at all, wasn’t it?”

Disappointed, Sunny just shook his head. He then turned his face away in frustration, his hand ruffling his hair. “I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. I know I am not the best at communicating, but it’s not like you are, I don’t know, Hermes either.”

“…What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, I’m drunk. I’m not making sense to myself either. But I’m trying to, god, I’m trying to say that, you suck at communicating too. I just… Why do you lash out so easily? I sometimes… I just, I really have difficulty understanding you at times. And… You never tell me. Why! God, why do you never tell me?”

“…” At times, she’d get so mad but would quietly give up on explaining. Because she was afraid of appearing like the nagging, bitchy girlfriend. Instead, she’d adopt the role of the reasonable girl, who had acknowledged that her anger wasn’t actually caused by her very chill boyfriend, even when it was. It was just that her very chill boyfriend genuinely didn’t see how it was wrong that when she had to ask him for compliments. Or that when she put on her favourite show for him to watch, he needed to comment. And when they spent time together, she wanted him to focus on her as much as possible, even if it meant helping him with the chores he was supposed to do. So much for being truly herself around him.

“I don’t know,” was the answer she came up with in the end. “Do I always have to spell things out for you? I can’t keep on doing that!”

“Yes. Yes, I know that. I know that you can’t. But the problem is… Fuck, Aubrey! The problem is that you never did it in the first place. And here I am, begging for you to do so, so please, can you stop being difficult for once? Can’t you make something easy for us once in your life! For once, Aubrey. I’m not asking for much. Just… Answer me, damn it!”

As expected, Aubrey couldn’t answer. Unable to hide behind her pride any longer, she just stared at Sunny, speechless and shocked to her core. He actually yelled this time. He only did that when he played a PlayStation game with his friends or something. Other than that, Aubrey had never seen him yell. Especially in anger. It was quite surreal for the girl. So this was what happened when Sunny was pushed to his limit.

She somehow managed to push someone quiet as a rock into cussing her out and yelling. And he was supposed to be in love with her. It must have been a record or something, Aubrey thought. She sensed every single muscle on her body tense, and felt like her body was becoming smaller and smaller with every second. Despite shivering, her skin was burning. Burning in shame and embarrassment.

Sunny noticed her face grow pale with each passing second. He tried to reach out and caress her cheek, but was quickly slapped away. “Don’t… Just, just don’t touch me,” she hissed, even when her face didn’t have any signs of anger.

“Aubrey, we can talk it out. Please.”

“No, no we can’t. You were right,” she chuckled. “You are right, I’m… I am indeed a difficult person. I can’t make it easy for you. For me either. It’s impossible for me. I’ve been… I’ve been wired this way.”

Soon came the waterworks. The lights smudged and the whole world kept on pulling her towards its centre. Yet, Sunny seemingly wanted to pull her back, gently grabbing her arm, once again begging for her attention. Aubrey just faced him, this time not quite shoving him away. “No, no. I get it. I… I was in the wrong, okay? I… I don’t think I can change, Sunny. I think… I think it’s best if you let me be now.”

“Aubrey, no. I… I overreacted, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I really am. So, don’t cry, please. I’m here. I’m admitting that I was in the wrong, so, please, don’t waste your tears.”

“Stop it! I don’t want your sympathy. I don’t… Leave me alone, okay? I… I deserve it.” She took a shaky step back, ready to run away once again.

“Please… Please don’t say that. Just… Don’t be that way. There’s just… I can’t… No one can make me leave you alone right now, Aubrey.” Sunny grabbed her hand firmly, his eyes maintaining the look of determination and love.

“Jesus, Sunny. You…” She sobbed, “You’re just making me feel worse. You… I feel like I’m manipulating you.” She sounded like she was protesting, but the moment Sunny embraced her it was an instant surrender.

“I have no problem being manipulated if it’s by you.”

“…You idiot.”

Chapter Text

The headache was so intense it was as if their brains were a tenant trying to leave the cockroach-infested flat. The nausea was apparent on those with more sensitive stomachs, ready to ruin the day before it even started. Everything was too loud, even the slightest beam of sunshine was too bright. Hangover was in full bloom for those who had drank the night before.

They woke up in Basil’s house, all of them looking like a mess. It smelt like hearty chicken noodle soup.

“Oh, Sunny. You’re finally awake!” Basil appeared right beside him in an apron.
“Wow, wife… It smells delicious… I can’t decide if I should eat dinner, bathe or have you.”
“You just woke up and are already sexually harassing me?”
“…I told mom letting Sunny watch that Japanese cartoon with the perverted alien girl was a bad idea.”
“Leave Lum alone!”
Mari just stuck her tongue out to Sunny, then returned to press the pillow against her face.
“At the very least, you guys should wash your faces. I mean it! Geez… Listen to me…”

Basil’s attempt to help his friends was futile. When all hope seemed lost, someone rang the bell. It was Hero and he brought coffee.

“Wake up, sleepyheads! I got souvenirs. Oat milk latte for Mari, and for the rest, it’s just good ol’ filter coffee.”
“Why does Mari get special treatment?” Sunny asked grumpily. He never understood why would someone ever drink that dark, bitter liquid.
“Because I’m marrying her. Next question?” Even with that attitude, Hero had a charming smile on his face.
“Now that I think about it, it’s surprising how Hero doesn’t know our coffee preferences,” Basil said as he sipped on his own cup of abyss. “It’s bitter…” He then went on to put soy milk in his own cup.
“Other than coffee, he pretty much knows all about what we like to eat or drink. I guess it’s because Faraway doesn’t have a coffee shop.” Aubrey noted.
Kel beamed. “Basil, let’s open a coffee shop. You’re going to become our mascot, and I’ll be making the coffee.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be hangover? How are you this energetic?” Mari asked as she extended Kel his own cup.
Kel didn’t answer and instead took a loud sip. “Needs orange juice,” he then noted.
“Kel no.” Aubrey protested.
“The soup’s almost ready. You guys really should wash your faces. I don’t know why you are drinking coffee on an empty stomach anyway.”
“Geez, okay mom,” Kel stood up, followed by a slightly wobbly Sunny. “That soup smells absolutely delicious…”
“Hero cooked it, that’s probably why.” Basil sheepishly admitted.
“We figured, dude. You’re vegetarian or something. We know.”
“What? I’m perfectly capable of cooking meat! Hero’s a literal gastronomy graduate; I’ll have you remember.”
“Out of all things, you are offended by Kel?” Sunny asked.
“I’m mostly offended by no one washing their faces. Go!” Shooed away by Basil, everyone tried to sober up a little. Aubrey went home to check on Bun-Bun, but she returned before everyone actually started having breakfast.

Remainder of the morning was spent with Hero and Basil taking care of everyone after the “big” breakfast consisting of chicken noodle soup and coffee. Once they were done with that, Aubrey and Mari forced everyone to watch a rerun of Gilmore Girls. Kel ruined (and at the same time, enhanced) the experience for everyone by making fun of every single character that appeared in the frame.

It was a nostalgic morning, that was for sure. Sure, it was Basil’s house that he lived alone in instead of Sunny’s full house, and they were watching a TV show instead of morning cartoons, mostly because it was 2 PM. But the feeling was familiar.

Except for Aubrey and Sunny. They haven’t spoken since getting busted by Basil last night, who, as usual, had the worst timing, having walked into them embracing one another. He apologetically told them they were going to leave soon, and they acted like they weren’t in one another’s arms mere seconds ago. It was just awkward since. Sunny wasn’t sure if they made up or not. Neither was Aubrey. Only one thing was on her mind, after all: that CD. That’s why she didn’t get that depressed when Mari and Hero left to go home and took their siblings with them. She just remained at Basil’s and asked to borrow his CD player. Basil allowed it without questioning.

Aubrey locked herself in Basil’s room and put the CD in. She then closed her eyes as she tried her best to pay attention to every bit of lyrics Sunny chose for her.

The mellow melody of a melancholic rock song filled the room. Aubrey soon recognized the track as “Creep”. She laughed to herself, making fun of Sunny inside her head for picking such a popular song for the start. Even so, the lyrics were quite impactful. Thom Yorke’s quiet voice somehow made his desperation louder, and Aubrey wondered if Sunny felt the same despair towards her. She questioned whether if he idealized her to that degree, whether if he thought of himself as that lowly. The song was popular for a reason, that’s what Aubrey thought as the playlist moved onto the next song.

It continued with slow love songs from Jeff Buckley, The Smashing Pumpkins and The Cure. Some of them were simply about the pain of being young, all the good and bad. But mostly, they were about regret. Regret felt towards unspoken words, towards the one that got away, towards the feelings that went to waste. Even though the breakup was not that long ago, Aubrey was so overwhelmed by all this. This wasn’t funny anymore, she genuinely felt like she was about to cry. Her vision blurred once again, and her bottom lip started to shiver. Just when it was going to be followed by a sob, Aubrey heard a familiar intro.

Weezer. “I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams”, to be more specific. He got cocky all of a sudden, because Aubrey could tell it was from her point of view.

Not that he was wrong. Which was why Aubrey ended up crying despite the energetic melody. Tears rolled down her cheeks as embarrassment took over, much like the song’s protagonist. She was shaken with realization. Sunny knew her. Sunny knew her well. Because of course he did, how wouldn’t he? He watched her closely all those years. He saw through her righteousness that bruised easily, her seemingly thick skin, even the fact that she dreamt of him. She wasn’t sure about the last part, but the coincidence was sure a creepy one.

Followed by that, a song sung by a British man with a thick accent started to play. As far as she could make it out, it was about a capricious girl and a boyfriend who just wanted to cuddle and make up with her. A pain in the ass, much like the one Aubrey must’ve been. Well, both of them were difficult people. But Aubrey doubted neither of them were ready to actually let go of each other yet. She stopped crying by that time, instead laughing at her own shortcomings. And Sunny’s. As far as Aubrey could tell, the protagonist in the song couldn’t handle the conflict well himself.

The final two songs were more light-hearted, Aubrey laughed her ass off upon hearing Teenage Dirtbag because it felt so out of place, even though it simultaneously made perfect sense. And the last song was “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”, which made Aubrey recall Sunny’s “It’s Gonna Be Me” obsession. She was disappointed not to hear it in the list. In any case, despite the lyrics being about a woman who wasn’t single, Aubrey couldn’t help interpreting the song as Sunny asking her out.

“Becoming your girl, huh? Is he trying to assert his dominance or something?” She chuckled to herself.

Aubrey got it now. She just realized what made Sunny so attractive to her. Sure, he was an extremely pretty boy to the point that Aubrey wanted to stare at his face for hours to no end, but what made him special to her was that, long before she noticed Sunny was always watching. He saw through her parts that were ugly, and instead of coddling them he just let them exist. He let her be ugly. He was even in awe of her ugliness. Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest, but Aubrey really understood that Sunny was the sanctuary she had been looking for her entire life.

“But that’s no good, is it?” She whispered to herself, looking at the CD. “I will do my best so that I can hurt you less, but if you just accept me as the way I am… God, please just don’t accept me like that.” She still had tons of work to do, after all. But he probably knew that already. Not that he didn’t have any shortcomings. Aubrey wanted to look at them, too, just like Sunny did to her. She wanted to work on their faults together, because she felt like so long as there was space to be exposed, there would be a space to grow.

It was a strange feeling. She felt like crying and laughing at the same time, and her chest hurt like something was begging to claw its way out. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that how undeserving he felt of that love. And the regret he felt over losing her. Basil was right, she was too harsh on him. But all that inferiority complex- wasn’t it a bit too much? Aubrey was Aubrey, the girl who was clumsy about handling feelings of others and even her own. She wasn’t anything special. Her oily skin with blackheads couldn’t make anyone cry, that she was certain of.

But it was Sunny’s own feelings he tried to convey, and Aubrey wanted to respect that. She put the CD back in its case with care, and left Basil’s room.

He was washing dishes when Aubrey saw him. “I heard ‘Creep’.”
“Could you believe your ears?”
He turned down the faucet to face Aubrey. “Honestly? Yes. Yes, I could.”
“Jesus. You’re exaggerating.”
“Hey, these are not my feelings. They are Sunny’s.”
Unable to come up with a clever response, Aubrey threw in the towel and turned to leave. “Bye, Basil.”
“Take care, bun!”

She didn’t know what to do. She wondered if Mari would know what to do. Or anyone slightly more intelligent than her, really. Aubrey felt like a complete bonehead after listening to that playlist. But more than anything, she was flattered. Flattered that Sunny thought so highly of her. So many feelings were swirling inside. What was she supposed to do now? Apologize? When? When exactly could she catch Sunny by himself? Somehow, Aubrey couldn’t find it in herself to even call him. Did she have to do it the old-fashioned way? By throwing rocks at his window? She was buzzing with excitement.

By the time she had made up her mind, the sun had set. There she was, dressed up in her cutest pieces, standing in front of Basil’s house.

“Um, hi, Basil. Long time no see.” Aubrey cringed at her own groaner.
“Hi, Aubrey. What brings you here?” Basil asked upon being handed the Hello Kitty hair tie. “Oh. I get it. Do you want me to do your hair?”
“…In a braid, please.”
“Of course, honeybun. Come in.”

Not that she couldn’t braid her own hair, Basil knew that all too well. Aubrey just needed emotional support.

“Are you going to talk to him?”
“What do you think?” Aubrey raised her eyebrows, flaunting her skirt. “I can’t not talk to him after that playlist.”
“Then what is it? Do you need a motivational speech? Like ‘you are such a catch!’ or something like that?”
“I think I have no doubts in my mind about Sunny’s feelings anymore.”
“Then what is it?”
“…I’m just so excited, I… I really don’t know what to do. Basil, I’m so hopelessly in love with Sunny.”
“I’m sure he shares the sentiment.”
“I know that. It’s… Again, like I said, I have no doubt. Even so, why does it feel so unreal?”
“Because you don’t love yourself. You just have to trust Sunny, okay?”
“…Maybe I do.”

Sounds of hair brushing filled the room. Basil was always so gentle with her hair, even though he was surprised how tangled it could get despite it being straight sometimes. He’d handle it with care, sometimes using sprays even. It wasn’t needed today.

Even so, Aubrey was super nervous as her best friend took care of her. Once he was done, he’d phone Sunny’s house and ask him to come to the swings. Aubrey would meet him there.

“It’s been less than two weeks since you two broke up, yet here you are, giggling like a schoolgirl at the mere thought of seeing him.”
“Shut up.”
“I won’t. This is the price of my help. I’ll have to tease you.”
Once again, Aubrey couldn’t argue with that logic. “Now that I think about it, Basil,” she asked, “are you interested in anyone else?”
“Do I have to be?”
“Um, not really?”
“I think… I prioritize different kinds of love rather than the romantic one, you know? I’m not quite sure myself but dating someone doesn’t seem like a good idea for me. At least for now, anyway.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well, the gist of it is that I won’t be dating anyone soon, for all I know... So bunny, you really have to stick by me, or I’ll die of loneliness.”
“Dramatic much?”
“That’s why we get along so well.”

After he was done, Aubrey stared at herself in the mirror. This was certainly different than what she was used to, and she could only hope Sunny would like her as much as she did right now.

“Now, go get him.”
“Basil?”
“Yes, bunny?”
“You don’t have to worry. I think… We will never be separated. I won’t let you die of loneliness, at the very least.”
Basil didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he still forced out a smile. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Aubrey ran and hugged him tightly. “Better believe me, you dork. I love you. We’ll actually grow old together, I promise.”
“Oh, Aubrey… I appreciate it, fine! Just go now!”
“Okay, but!..”
“Kel’s single too. I might end up with him.”
“Extremely questionable taste.”
“Things I say will only grow more and more unhinged if you don’t leave this instant.”
“Off I go. Thank you, Basil!”

And so, Aubrey left. She couldn’t run in the cute shoes she was wearing, but she still walked as fast as she could. Pumped by adrenaline, soon she found herself in front of the swings. Sunny was playing with his Gameboy whilst waiting for her.

“Took you long enough, Basi- oh.” The precious Gameboy was dropped to the sand. Yet Sunny didn’t move to pick it up. “I thought the shoes were weird, even for him.”
“He didn’t tell you I was going to come?”
“Nope. But you’re not exactly unwelcome either.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Aubrey picked the device up and extended it to Sunny. He didn’t say anything even as he shoved it into his pocket, clearly flustered.
“So, what is it?”
“I, um, listened to the playlist.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what do you think about it?”
“I think… You’re cockier than you appear to be.”
“Am I?”
“But you are also not.”
“A little confusing, but okay.”
“Yeah. Confusing. You said it yourself. But I think I understand you a bit better now.”
“Do you, Aubrey? Do you really?” He turned to face her, not knowing she was watching him all along and could easily tell when he tried to put up a tough front. He was taken aback by Aubrey’s loving eyes. It did wonders to his heartbeat.
“Yes. I think you’re confident about my feelings in you, but not so self-assured about yourself.”
“Hah! That’s… Correct, actually?”

Sunny’s dorkiness never failed to make Aubrey laugh, ever since they were kids. “But that’s the problem.” She said, out of breath after the laughter, “Your lack of self esteem also confuses you about what you do know.”

“Well, you see, that one’s actually incorrect. After the recent events anyway. Because I know that I love you. And I’m not afraid of telling you that, at the very least.”

Aubrey looked at Sunny with gentle eyes. Surprisingly, at that moment, she even felt a little proud of Sunny. Soon, his intense gaze became too much for Aubrey to handle and she fixed her gaze on her shoe buckle instead.

“I love you too, Sunny. I really do.” She said softly, rubbing her feet against one another, though Sunny’s bouncing legs distracted her soon enough, something he’d done when he was overjoyed. Aubrey lifted her head to face Sunny, whose fierce looks only got worse with her confession.

“Now this is a proper love confession, huh?” Aubrey laughed to herself.
“Yeah.” Sunny didn’t.

They could hear the cicadas from afar, along with the town’s fellow cats who came out to play and hunt. One of them, a black one, started to cozy up against a tuxedo cat. They ended up falling asleep while entangled together.

“Even so, I’m sorry. I… I don’t think I was helping you. I knew communicating wasn’t easy for you, even so…”

“I… I think I should’ve tried harder. So, I’m sorry, too.”

“It’s okay. We can both try hard. We can… We can listen to each other more. I promise I’ll always lend you an ear, so please!” Aubrey took a deep breath after her passionate plea, “Please tell me more about yourself. Your thoughts, your feelings… I do want to know. I won’t judge them. I mean it…”

“Yes. I… I actually want to do that. You know, last night felt kind of great. Giving it to you straight and all that jazz. Even now, I can’t focus on anything because you’re just too beautiful. And knowing that you did all that preparation because you wanted to see me… I’m, uh, I’m actually so happy that I might cry.”

“Oh. Oh, well, thank you.” Aubrey fanned herself by pulling her jacket repeatedly. “If you could, uh, tone it down a little bit, it’d be great for my health.”
“Which is it? I don’t get it.” He had a shit eating grin on his face.
With a face still warm and heartrate still abnormal, Aubrey furrowed her brows at Sunny: “We just made up and you are already teasing me?”
“We made up?”
“…Didn’t we?”
“Well, we haven’t kissed yet.”

“Cornball.” Aubrey said, yet all of a sudden, Sunny heard her getting up. Even though it wasn’t their first time and certainly wouldn’t be their last, poor boy got so excited he felt like he was about to throw up. Aubrey held the swing chain for support, and as she leaned down, Sunny raised his head; causing their heads to clash.

“Ouch! Dude!”
“Okay, sorry, sorry! Redo? Please?” God, he was so pathetic. Not that Aubrey hated it.

In fact, she liked it enough that instead of answering, she just grabbed him by the chin and stared right into his eyes. Sunny appeared mesmerized as Aubrey just squeezed his cheek, squishing his lips in the process. It was starting to hurt even, but he didn’t dare make a sound. Aubrey’s eyes looked especially expressive that night. Soon, her grip slid down to his chin, cradling it gently, and she closed her eyes. Sunny had practically no choice but to follow her lead once again, surrendering himself to the sticky strawberry tinted lip balm which did little to conceal the sensation of her cracked lips. Just the way he liked it.