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Look, Eddie knew he never felt...normal about Buck, but to be fair that was when he would push it aside, or rather, push it down to the deep pits of his insides and lock it up in a box labeled in big, bold letters "BUCK." Maybe with a heart around it, but that's just for him to know.
Anyways, ever since Buck revealed he was the one that was subletting his house, he realized he was so, very much in love with him, like, stupidly in love with him. And then, he had to leave, he knew Buck thought they were slowly going to fizzle out, and he made it his goal to always come back. He Face timed him everyday and texted him on the most random things he saw just like he was right there with him. So, scratch that, he would never leave Buck again after this because this is awful.
That being said, in Texas he had a lot of time to think, and what did he do in those late nights when he knew his son was in his parents house, in his childhood room where he always felt trapped no matter what and wanted anything to just get up and leave that place, but that was his son's get away, he thought about Buck. How he realized he's never felt more at home than with him and Chris. How Buck makes his chest, not feel like there's a knot tightening with the image of a future together, but it bursts with the warmth and adoration with so much as just looking at him.
And ever since he's come back from Texas, with Chris, that's all he can think about. All those years of denial, and pushing it down to that box he kept hidden in his mind and heart, he can't escape it now. What's done is done and he is struggling big time on not just saying "I'm in love with you" to Buck in the middle of the firehouse kitchen, at seven in the morning.
"You're staring." He heard Hen sit next to him at the table, but he was too busy watching Buck cook breakfast with Bobby. Did he always look this beautiful?
"Hm?" He, regretfully, turned to look at Hen, who was sitting next to him. When did she get here? He shrugs it off and waits to hear what she has to say so he can go back to-
"You're staring, and getting all heart eyes to a certain golden retriever look alike over there."
That snaps him back to reality. He shakes his head and clears his throat. "What? No-no I'm not." He laughs, honestly this is pathetic. He's not even trying to hide it. He physically can't.
Hen gives him a look, "that was honestly one of the most love-sick puppy looks I've seen you give him in a while, and it's been happening a lot lately." That perks his interest, "Wait, you think he's noticed?" He whispers and lowers his head to meet Hen's level.
She raises a brow, "No, everyone else has, but him. You two are idiots. Even more so together, which is all the time." He nods his head, almost about to say good, "Hey! We're not idiots." He lightly slaps her arm, she lets out a laugh, and that's when Chim comes running up the steps, most likely smelling the delicious food Buck is making.
"Who's not an idiot?" He takes a seat by Hen, raising a brow. "Eddie and Buck." Hen states, going back to drinking her coffee. Chim let's out a laugh at that, "Hah! Oh you both are for sure. You guys are like dumb and dumber." Eddie rolls his eyes, ultimately deciding not to debate this, then, as always, his eyes go back to Buck, who is surprisingly already looking at him. He feels his stomach do a series of flips. He's never felt this way before, no wonder people write songs about this.
His-, no Buck is smiling at him with his perfect curls, which seem to be glowing ethereal with how the morning sun is hitting him and he just so happens to be in the perfect spot to meet the rays. And Eddie is just as lucky to be able to witness just how beautiful Buck is. God, he wishes he could take a picture. He sees Buck duck his head down, with, he could've sworn that was pink dusting his cheeks? But he sees him duck his head down and he furrows his brows trying to read him, most definitely probably having that, what did Hen call it? "Love-sick puppy look?" Who cares, he doesn't. He'll look at Buck all he wants. He just doesn't know how to tell him.
"God, you're so hopeless. Look at him! I mean look at you guys! " Chim is looking between Eddie and Buck waving his hands frantically, "You do know that right?" Eddie is about to respond but that's when Buck comes right beside him and tells them breakfast is ready. He gets up automatically, hearing the chair screech, he cringes at that but immediately goes back to doing whatever Buck tells him to do. He's so pretty. Has he said that yet?
He hears Hen and Chim snicker, as well as Bobby, he furrows his brows and looks at them weirdly, about to ask what the hell- Oh my god, did he just say that out loud? Slowly, turning his head, he sees Buck doing that adorable head duck where he sees his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink, just like his birthmark.
Buck laughs, "Uh, thank you, Eddie." Eddie decides to embrace it, he should've told Buck this sooner, he is beautiful and he should let Buck know everyday dammit.
he smiles a little awkwardly and pats Buck on the shoulder, letting his hand linger a second too long before responding. "Yeah, just wanted to let you know, man." He forces himself to get that last word out.
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They just got off of a call, a structure fire that wasn't too bad, luckily no one was severely injured, but this means they were all pretty beat. He shrugged off his turnout coat and was about to put it in the bin when he saw Buck, standing there, with his shirt off in his hands that were moving animatedly talking to Ravi. He was practically half-naked with just his pants and boots. He looked heavenly, the sun was hitting him, as always, because Eddie swears Buck's been personally plucked from the heavens with how perfect he is.
And right now, he cannot take his eyes off of him. His chest is so broad, with beads of sweat dripping down his pecs down to his abs that seem to be sculpted by the gods themselves. How does he look this good all the time? He follows his hands, moving one direction to the other, his fingers, and hands, he knows are thick and strong. He wonders if Buck could pick him up, he would like that.
He follows his arm up, and he gets to his biceps. And holy mother of god, they're huge, how did he do that? He sees them flex and all he wants to do is grab him and sink his teeth into the flesh of his bicep, darting his tongue out to soothe the bite, god he needs to stop. This is inappropriate, he can't think like this at work.
He swallows, trying to turn around and walk towards the locker room, but he only manages halfway. Good enough, he's walking, still seeing Buck talk to Ravi while he looks so fucking hot, seriously how? He's looking him up and down once again thinking he's chosen by the gods themselves when he slams into the glass wall of the locker room. At least his last thoughts were of beautiful, amazing Buck.
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He rubs at his temple, hissing when he feels a bump forming already, great, this is embarrassing. He turns around and sees Buck, Ravi, Chim and Hen crowding around him. Double great.
He's about to start saying he's fine when he sees Buck walking towards him with worry all over his face, a little crinkle forming in between his brows he just wants to smooth out with his thumb.
"Oh my god, Eds, are you okay? What happened? This is why they shouldn't have glass walls, oh my god you have a bump, we need to get you ice. Someone get me ice! Forget it I'll do it!" Buck's frantically moving his hands over his head and down his shoulders most likely seeing he's okay with his own two hands.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Buck lifts up two of his fingers and puts them in front of his face. But really all he can focus on is the beautiful face behind his hand. Eddie takes in every detail of Buck, to his slightly matted down curls, to his lips that are formed in a frown, and seemingly more pink than usual. Just like his birthmark. He doesn't realize he didn't respond.
"Oh shit, he has to be concussed. Hen!" Buck grips onto Eddie's shoulders and starts manhandling him to Hen. Eddie tries not to make a sound at that. But he thinks he fails because Buck furrows his brows and gets somehow more worried. Eddie wants to smash his head against a wall. Oh wait, he already did that.
Hen is laughing when he's dragged over to her. How could she be laughing in his time of need? Traitor. But he's easily distracted as Buck is rubbing his thumb soothingly over his shoulder.
"Hen, check if Eddie is concussed, I think he is, he's all cloudy and foggy minded. Please?"
Hen gives Eddie a look and shakes her head with a smile. "Sure, Buck." Buck seems to let out a breath at that and takes his hands off of Eddie. He tries not to whine about the loss of contact, this time he actually succeeds.
Hen asks him his name, what day it is and tells him to follow her pen light. He is not concussed, shocker, he is actually just hopelessly in love with his best friend. Not a shocker.
Hen pats him on the back, "that was embarrassing, even for you." And walks away. Not even an ice pack, what a great friend.
He's about to go get himself an ice pack when he sees Buck running towards him with one already in a towel.
"Eds! Here, you can put it on your bump, actually I'll just do it. Are you okay? Do you have a concussion?" Buck proceeds to gently put the ice pack over his bump, he tries not to hiss, but he feels his teeth clamp down. Ow.
"Sorry, sorry but it'll feel better, I have some Advil, you want it?" Eddie looks up at him, no doubt lovingly, and softly says "yes."
Buck smiles that beautiful smile and nods. He grabs Eddie's hand and places it over his own. "Here, hold this and I'll be back in a minute." Eddie tries to ignore the warmth that just spread throughout his body but he thinks his cheeks betrayed him. Buck slips his hand out from underneath his, and he takes a seat on the edge of the ambulance and watches Buck leave.
The only thing he can think clearly is, he is so in love with Buck it's embarrassing.
"Love-sick fools." He faintly hears Chim's voice. Yeah, he thinks, Chim's right.
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It's a couple days after that whole fiasco and his bump is nearly gone, yay, he couldn't handle the teasing from Hen or chimney any longer. Buck was really sweet about it though.
They're sitting in Eddie's house, writing down grocery lists for each of their places. Yes, they do still go grocery shopping together, sue him.
"Okay, we need more fruit right? Which one does Chris like right now? Pineapple? I honestly don't know how, that stuff rips up my mouth, but hey to each their own."
Eddie's watching Buck go on and on about what they need and whenever an idea struck his mind he does a little 'o' shape with his mouth and that almost makes Eddie want to melt in the ground. The whole scene is painfully domestic, with Buck writing the list and Eddie adding in a few times, but mostly just watching from where he's leaning against the counter.
He's too busy observing Buck when he focuses his attention back on Eddie, "What do you want?" Eddie chokes on his coffee.
"I'm sorry what?" Buck frowns then laughs, "I said, what do you want Eddie?"
He says the first thing that comes to mind, really because Buck's all he thinks about these days, "You." He doesn't even realize he's said that until he sees Buck's mouth open slightly and his eyebrows raised.
"Y-you what?" He's spluttering and his cheeks are bright pink, just like his birthmark and lips. Eddie wants to kiss them.
He decides this is how he'll tell Buck, he can't do this anymore, his love and utter devotion for him is overflowing and spilling from the seams of that box, but instead of it being pushed in a dark corner it's being held in his hands, and all he has to do is open it and show it to Buck. He just hopes he'll let him.
"I'm in love with you. Like stupidly, embarrassingly in love with you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, but once I figured it out I quite literally could not stop. Once I figured it out, you were everywhere, in my mind and body even more than before. You have consumed me, body and soul, and all I want to do is just tell you how much I love you every single day. So yes, I want you, I need you, in every way possible. I love you, Evan."
He feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest, he's searching Buck's eyes, hoping to find some sort of sign he did the right thing. He has laid his heart out in front of him and he's just hoping he wants it as much as Eddie wants his.
Buck gets up from his seat, looking dumbfounded, "You..love me? I-I didn't know. I didn't know you were an option, I thought- I thought you were straight." Buck is smiling that gorgeous, blinding smile and it's directed at Eddie, he feels like the luckiest man in the world. He is the luckiest man in the world.
"Guess not." Eddie shrugs and looks at Buck through his lashes. "I'm in love with you, Evan."
That seems to work because he wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him in closer, "yeah?" He's smiling so much right now, they both are. God they are love-sick hopeless fools but who cares? They don't. "Yeah I do." Eddie wraps his hands around Buck's neck.
"I'm so stupidly, embarrassingly in love with you too, Eddie Diaz." This was the missing piece of his life, Buck is the oxygen he breathes, and the first day of spring after a long cold winter, this, is what love feels like.
They finally kiss, and god it is like fireworks, he never understood it at first, how his friends in high school would go on and on about how amazing it is, but now, he understands, he understands so good. It's messy and sloppy, and it's not great but it's his best last first kiss. His hands go to cup Buck's face and Buck's hands grip onto his waist and back harder, leaving them to be closer together. Eight years of hopelessly pining and it is so worth it. They eventually have to breathe, unfortunately, and they're smiling, Buck is giggling, giggling, while Eddie is pressing light kisses all over Buck's face. And Eddie makes it his goal to make Buck like this every day for the rest of their lives.
"I love you." He says pressing one last kiss to his birthmark.
"And I love you." He presses a kiss to the little mole underneath Eddie's eye. Eddie feels like he's going to explode from the amount of love seeping out of him, but now he gets to show it as much as he wants.