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Armed Detective Agency, meeting room
“This cannot go on any longer!” Yosano slammed her hands down onto the table. “Dazai is getting out of hand and too touchy with Atsushi-kun!”
“You don’t say?” Ranpo huffed, shoving a cookie into his mouth. “Atsushi-kun needs a partner, maybe then Dazai will stop being so clingy to him.”
“You think he will let that happen?” Kunikida asked, a bit annoyed that he was forced into this meeting. “You have seen how Dazai chases anyone off that gets too close to his precious Atsushi-kun!”
“I am impressed at how well you can mimic him,” Ranpo applauded the blond who flushed angrily. “You do have a point though, Dazai will never willingly let Atsushi-kun date…”
“Then, we don’t tell him and orchestra something,” Yosano suggested, tapping her chin in thought. “Maybe we guise it as Atsushi-kun meeting clients for a case?”
“The brat is gullible but not that dumb,” Kunikida shook his head. “Why am I even helping you…?”
“Because you also want this clinginess to end,” Ranpo told him. “How about we do this-!”
A Day later, date attempt one in some random café
Atsushi was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white button up, pulling at his collar. There was a frown on his face and a pout to his lips, `Why did Yosano-san insist I wear this while meeting up with the client?´
“I don’t like this,” he mumbled, glancing around the café.
“Ah, Nakajima-san?” a pleasant and light voice called out, Atsushi’s head snapped in the direction of it. “I hope you didn’t wait too long!”
Atsushi blinked at the woman that went up to his table. She wore a pink dress with white accents and had long pink hair. Her hair was put into pigtails and some makeup was on her face. Why would the woman wear makeup when Atsushi wanted to talk with her about a case? `Maybe it’s a woman thing…?´
“Ah, no, I didn’t wait that long,” Atsushi stood up and bowed to her, blinking when she giggled at him. “Sato-san, wasn’t it?”
“You may call me Mimi!” the woman offered, going to take the seat opposite of him. “How are you, Nakajima-kun?”
Atsushi hurried back to his place, “Uhm.. Ah… I am fine… You can call me ‘Atsushi’ if you want, Mimi… -san?”
Atsushi blushed when the woman giggled. What had he said that was so funny…?
Meanwhile
“What do you mean you send Atsushi-kun off on a date!?” Dazai screeched, eyes wide and wild. “YOU CANNOT DO THAT-!”
“And why not?” Ranpo asked, making Dazai gape at him.
“Are you guys for real-?” Dazai tried, only to stop and stare.
Yosano, Kunikida and Ranpo looked dead serious. `Are they on drugs? Where they hit with an ability that let them forget that I am dating Atsushi-kun already? They hadn’t been against us dating in the first place!? What changed?´ Dazai’s thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of this mess. What had changed indeed. It didn’t make any sense to him, yesterday they hadn’t batted an eyelash but now they did?
Dazai frowned and threw his hands up, “You-! I cannot with you-!”
“What are you talking about?” Yosano asked, her arms crossed and eyebrow raised.
“You know exactly what I am talking about!” he snapped, scowl on his face. “I cannot believe you guys would do that-!”
“Do what?” Ranpo asked, head tilted to the side.
“For someone so smart, you sure can act like a dumbass,” Dazai hissed, eyes turning into slits.
“Hey-! Where do you think you are going, Dazai!?” Kunikida asked as Dazai made for the door. “There is still work to do!”
“I don’t care! I have a mess to clean up!” Dazai stalked out of the office, slamming the door behind him.
“Wow… He really is too clingy for a mentor,” Ranpo whistled while Yosano shook her head. “I hadn’t thought he would explode like that.”
“He has to get used it, really,” Yosano rolled her eyes. “If that date fails, I have someone that thinks that Atsushi-kun is cute…”
“I have a feeling that this isn’t going to end well,” Kunikida muttered with a shudder. “Really bad feeling…”
At the café, a short while later
“Atsu-chan!” Atsushi startled as did the woman with him. “There you are~!”
“Osamu?” Atsushi had turned to look at the man, an easy smile on the brunet’s face. “What are you doing here…? I thought-!”
“You thought wrong, Atsu-chan,” the man purred out, having quickly reached the table that Atsushi was seated at. “You think I would leave you alone just like that?”
The woman stared between the two, her mouth agape. She stared how the taller man in the trench coat threw an arm around Atsushi’s shoulder, pulling him closer to his body. Atsushi went willingly, getting up from his seat and gave the man such a gentle smile. She could only stare as a kiss was dropped onto Atsushi’s forehead and how the white-haired boy blushed at the gesture.
`Wait-! Are those two…? But didn’t Akiko-chan say…?´ Mimi could only stare as the brunet, Osamu?, sat down next to Atsushi. There was a razor-sharp smile on his lips and it made her shiver in fright. She was sure that the man was going to plot her murder and make it very painful too. Atsushi seemed oblivious to it, if the way he was smiling at the man was anything to go by.
`Ah… I wouldn’t be happy either if my boyfriend was sent onto a blind date without my notice either…´ Mimi swallowed and had a shaky smile on her lips when Atsushi turned to her, giving her curious look. She knew she must be getting pale in the face, what could she say though? ‘Sorry, your boyfriend is trying to kill me with his looks alone! I have to leave now, sorry for taking up your time?’
`A shame, Atsushi-kun is such a cutie! I should give Akiko-chan an earful for that! Setting me up with a taken man!´ she didn’t dare to say anything right now, not with the man still staring her down. `Akiko-chan, you evil woman-! Why would you want to anger that man!?´
“Atsu-chan~!” the man cooed; eyes still trained on Mimi. “Who’s this lovely woman with you, hm?”
Why did the man’s voice sound like he was asking who he was about to execute? Mimi shivered and felt like crying when Atsushi answered him. `I should have stayed in bed-!´
“Oh, that’s Sato Mimi-san!” the boy beamed at the other who nodded.
Date Attempt two
“-and who might you be?” Dazai was dressed in a black suit, standing right behind Atsushi’s chair. “I hadn’t known that we would be having a guest with us, Atsu-chan!”
“Osamu, be nice,” Atsushi lightly scolded, also dressed in a suit, a pale blue one. “You make him nervous!”
“Is that so?” something told the man with them, that this Osamu didn’t care about it at all. “I apologize.”
Strangely enough, the man with them didn’t believe the man at all. It felt more like a death sentence was handed out to him. `Why did I agree to this!? You could have told that Nakajima-kun had a dangerous boyfriend already, Kunikida!´
Date Attempt ten
“Atsu-chan!” arms wrapped around Atsushi’s middle, pulling him closer to the man that had appeared behind him. “I missed you~! Did you miss me?”
“Osamu, we saw each other not even five minutes ago!” Atsushi reminded the clingy man, voice fond.
“That’s too long without you, Precious~!”
The man, Atsushi was supposed to meet with, was staring with wide eyes at the two. He swallowed nervously when the brown-haired man glared at him. Was it just him or did the brown eyes change into red ones? He let out a tiny whimper when he got a smile full of teeth, Atsushi was oblivious to it.
“Ah, shall we-?” Atsushi tried only to be interrupted by the man.
“I just remembered-! I have a very important appointment, I- I will just call Edogawa-san later!” the man rushed out before fleeing.
“… Huh?”
Dazai smiled satisfied to himself at the retreating back of the coward. `Ah, I still go it~!´ he schooled his face when he felt Atsushi turn around in his arms.
“Yes?”
“Ah… It’s nothing, I just had a weird feeling…”
Date attempted twelve
“MO- MONSTER-!”
Atsushi tilted his head to the side in confusion at the fleeing man. What had scared him off? Kunikida had asked him to meet with the man and interview him about details for their current case.
“What…?”
Turning around, Atsushi had noted the man had paled when he looked behind Atsushi, there was nothing. He looked around, trying to spot what could have scared him off and saw nothing was out of the ordinary, weird.
“Ah, he didn’t see me~!” Dazai hummed, having hidden himself away quickly again.
As if he would let anyone land their filthy paws on his adorable tiger! Not while he was around and breathing! He might have overdone it with the blood and scythe though, `Nah~!´ Dazai wiped at the fake blood on his face and smirked, twirling the fake scythe in his hand.
Date attempt sixteen
Yosano was impressed and a bit concerned when her friend told her about the disaster of the date she had with Atsushi. Atsushi, bless his soul, had been nice to her but the weird man that was stalking the boy, now that had set her friend’s alarm bells off. `Weird man…?´ Yosano kept listening to her ranting friend, trying to figure out who she could have meant. `Maybe Akutagawa…?´
“-nd the trench coat-! He pulled a freaking ax out of it! Pointing with it at me!” she shivered, her face pale. “I swear, I saw blood on it-!”
Yosano hummed, not really listening to her anymore. `That’s number sixteen with a bust… Does Atsushi-kun have some kind of guardian angel that wants him to stay single…?´
Date attempt eighteen
Ranpo, having dragged Poe along, watched the train wreck happening in front of them with wide eyes. They had figured, after seventeen failures of setting Atsushi up on dates, it was time to monitor him. Poe, having not given any choice in the matter, was forced to play guide to Ranpo.No one else had wanted to, Yosano and Kunikida were both busy with cases, sadly. Sure, as if Ranpo believed that.
“No freaking way,” Ranpo groaned, rubbing at his temple. “How can anyone be so clingy like that?!”
Poe looked nervously between the scene and Ranpo, not understanding what the man was getting at.
“Dazai, you freaking moron-!”
The scene that looked normal to Poe? Well, Atsushi was licking on an ice-cream cone while the date, someone that Kenji had offered up because the man was always so nice to him, was looking like he had just pissed himself. It wasn’t because of Atsushi but Dazai. The trench coat wearing man had appeared out of nowhere the moment Atsushi’s date had sat down. It was flabbergasting to witness too, one second the two were alone on the bench and the next second, Dazai was there with an ice-cream cone and handing it to Atsushi.
There was a plastic smile on the brunet’s lips and he sat down right next to Atsushi. He had thrown an arm over his shoulder and pulled the boy closer to his body. Atsushi had gone willingly, eyes sparkling at the treat handed to him while the date had paled when Dazai had mouthed something at him over Atsushi’s head.
“Clingy motherfucker-!”
Poe shook his head at Ranpo, still not seeing what the big deal was, `Clearly, Atsushi-kun and Dazai-san are dating… Dazai-san is being an overprotective boyfriend… Ranpo-kun, what are you and the others trying to do?´
Date attempt twenty, kind of?
“Urhm…” Atsushi blinked, looking at the well-dressed woman with wide eyes. “I- I am flattered but-!”
“But what?” the woman asked, leaning closer to Atsushi.
It should be noted that the woman was taller than Atsushi and actually able to tower over him. It was something that made Atsushi really nervous and it showed with how he was stuttering. The woman was actually a client, having just entered the Agency, and had, whyever for, taken a liking to Atsushi.
Ranpo wasn’t even trying to get between Atsushi and the woman, despite the pleading looks Atsushi send his way. Yosano was actually holding Kunikida back who had seen how uncomfortable Atsushi looked. Atsushi would remember that for when he brewed tea the next time for them all. Yosano and Ranpo would be getting salt into their mugs. Let Atsushi be petty for that, he really didn’t like how the two were amused by this scene.
“Come on now, pretty,” the woman purred out, making Atsushi stiffen and take a step back. “A little private interview wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
“I- I-!” Atsushi stammered; his eyes so wide they looked like they might fall out of his head. “P- Please-!”
“Oh, I won’t bite, cutie,” the smile on the woman’s face made Atsushi hunch into himself. He didn’t believe her, not with that smile. “I just want to talk with you.”
Kunikida was still trying to free himself from Yosano, the woman hadn’t been above using bandages to tie him to his chair. It was no use though; she had kept the knots tight and was pressing him also into his chair. Yosano might not look like it but she had some strength to her, alright? Ranpo was fascinated at how heavy the woman was flirting, `Eh, if that doesn’t get our tiger-boy a date and Dazai to stop being clingy, then I don’t know what will!´
While Atsushi was trying his best to escape the woman, the office door opened and an out of breath Dazai stumbled inside. His ‘Atsushi-kun is about to get flirted with’ bells had tingled, loudly, in his head and he had rushed immediately over to the office. He scoffed, as good as he could while catching his breath, at the scene he saw.
“Atsushi-kun!” he called out, still panting a little and waltzing over to the poor tiger.
He saw the immediate relief on the boy’s face and let his eyes wander over to Yosano, Ranpo and Kunikida. He saw how sour Yosano and Ranpo looked while Kunikida also slumped in relief in his bounds. `What in the-? Why is he tied up-! Never mind, I have other matters to focus on,´ Dazai turned his attention back to his boyfriend and the woman.
“Dazai-san!” the relief was heard in Atsushi’s voice while the woman looked annoyed.
It wasn’t helping that Atsushi had scrambled to get over to the brunet man and hide behind him. That made the woman look even more annoyed, it pleased Dazai greatly to see that. `Ha, hands off! That’s my boyfriend, bitch!´
“Oho?” Dazai tilted his head to the side, eyes empty and smile dark. “Who might you be, Miss?”
The woman clicked with her tongue; displeasure clearly seen on her face. She gave Dazai a once over and scoffed.
“Not of your interest,” she told him, trying to see behind him at Atsushi. “You are in the way, I was about to have an interview with the pretty one behind you.”
Dazai stiffened at her words, glancing at Atsushi who shook his head. The boy was pleading with his eyes alone not to be left alone with the woman. Dazai couldn’t blame him either. That woman was screaming she was a ‘cougar’ and his Atsushi was too soft to be left alone with someone like that.
“I think not,” Dazai told her, tone neutral. “You should talk with our senior detectives here first; this is but our intern here… He is of no importance.”
`The hell he is!´ Ranpo thought, already done with this scene. Why did Dazai always have to appear when it seemed like Atsushi was finally hitting it off with anyone? It was a mystery Ranpo wanted to solve and Poe’s cryptic words from ‘chaperoning’ that one date wasn’t helping the detective in the slightest.
What had Poe meant with ‘Atsushi-kun is in good hands, Dazai-san clearly cares from him dearly. So, why are you trying to drive a wedge between them?’
Yea, no, it did not make any sense to Ranpo, neither had it made any to Yosano either. Kunikida had, strangely enough, looked thoughtful. The two hadn’t paid any attention to that though.
“-there is the door, Miss, if you do not have a case for us,” Dazai’s icy voice brought Ranpo back to the weird standoff. “Do let the door hit you on the way out, yes?”
“How rude,” came the sniff of the woman. “Do you always treat clients like this?”
“Only the obnoxious ones that don’t know when to leave well enough alone,” Dazai purred out, his tone a bit dark. “Well? Either one of the senior detectives takes your case on or you leave.”
“You’ll be hearing from me,” the woman hissed, stalking past Dazai and out of the door. “And you, little one, I am sure we will be meeting again.”
With that, the woman was gone while Atsushi fell into Dazai.
“I hope not!” came the muttered words from the boy. “I don’t like her, she’s scary!”
“Oh, my poor, poor Atsushi-kun,” cooed Dazai, patting the boy on the head. “Fret not, I will always be there to chase those nasty cougars off!”
“I give up,” Yosano muttered, throwing her hands up, “he has a freaking radar for it!”
Kunikida shot the woman a look, “You can free me now, you know? Besides, I think Dazai was in the right to step in. The Brat was uncomfortable.”
“Urgh,” Ranpo hung his head. “Dazai won’t ever stop being around… Atsushi-kun is doomed to be his toy for the rest of his life!”
“I wouldn’t say rest of his life,” Kunikida muttered, watching Dazai and Atsushi interact. “Maybe it isn’t that bad-!”
“Are you hearing yourself right now?” Yosano was cutting the man free, staring at the blond like he had grown a second head. “Dazai should really mind Atsushi-kun’s private life and his personal space. This isn’t normal, there is a reason as to why we want him to date!”
Ranpo nodded at her words, “Too right… Atsushi-kun should stand up more for himself. If he stays so meek and keeps having Dazai’s attention on him like that… It won’t end well, at all!”
Kunikida shot them looks, “Right… I am still saying that I am not sure that it is bad… Dazai isn’t acting like himself when he is around the Brat…”
“You are seeing things!”