Chapter Text
The only relief felt from the suffocating summer heat was the light breeze Eijun was creating with the fan he held in his hands. He was lounging out on the porch of his family’s home. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow, an appealing rarity when it came to Eijun who was known for his buoyancy and loud shouts.
Despite his appearance of being asleep, Eijun was concentrating on listening to the high school baseball game that was being broadcasted on the TV in the room behind him. The trumpets were blaring the marching melody of Neraiuchi over the continuous drum pattern. This paired with the cicadas that were angrily buzzing somewhere in the trees around him, had a miraculously calming effect on Eijun.
Somewhere along this otherworldly dream, his mind had strayed to add Miyuki’s singing voice to the familiar song. That was only the beginning of his aberrant thoughts which eventually led him to several months earlier.
“Sawamura you need to sit down.” A nurse urged, rushing over to the side of the bed where Eijun was attempting to stand up.
Eijun didn’t reply but refused to listen to the well meant orders of the nurse. Blood met salty tears on his face as he shuddered and attempted to force himself up onto his feet. The nurse’s soft hands grabbed his arms and firmly, yet gently pushed him back down onto the bed. This was a recurring event with Eijun in the hospital. The nurse pressed a button on the bed and called down to the front desk to bring in another available nurse to help them because “Sawamura was trying to get up again”. Eijun continued to fidget and fight off the nurse, a crushing headache made it difficult for him to hear. The repeated thought that he had to find a way to get up, that he had to find a way to be useful. He couldn’t sit still here any more.
“Sawamura, your friends are going to be here soon.” The nurse’s voice somehow cut through Eijun’s cluttered thoughts. “You won’t be able to see them if you push yourself any harder.” At some point Eijun must have given up because his back was pushed onto his fairly uncomfortable hospital bed, and a warm cloth wiped off the blood that was plaguing his face. Another nurse had entered and was fiddling with his IV, and then came over to his arm and stuck a needle quickly into it, and within a few seconds he was able to remove the needle. The one thing Eijun was thankful for was for the skillful nurses here.
The nurse in his rush must have forgotten to close the door because when Eijun’s vision had come back he saw Haruichi, Kuramochi and even Furuya standing at the door. Behind them all was a rattled looking Miyuki who was the only who not forcing a smile (albeit calling Furuya’s expression a smile was a stretch). Haruichi asked if it was alright to come in and the nurse who was throwing away the needle nods, but lets them know Eijun “wasn’t doing so great”.
The other nurse was still wiping away the blood from Eijun’s face and neck. There was some on his robe as well but the nurse didn’t bother with that, making a note to provide a change of clothes later on. The nurse moved to the side, however did not leave the room to watch over Eijun in case he made any brash movements, only nodding to the other nurse who was now leaving.
Haruichi places a bouquet of flowers in an empty vase and takes it over to the sink, filling it up. The sound of water running was the only noise as Kuramochi, Furuya and Miyuki stare at different points in the room, everywhere that wasn’t Eijun. This infuriated Eijun, and if he could have, he would have yelled at them.
“I hope you like these flowers, Eijun.” Haruichi whispers, placing them on his bedside. Eijun nods, and watched Haruichi move to face him. Eijun opened his mouth but his head was hurting him, which made it difficult to talk.
Underneath Haruichi's bangs Eijun could tell that his eyes were pained, in fact everyone in the room seemed to emit pity out of them. However, the one who looked the most in pain was Miyuki. It was rare of Eijun to see an emotion on Miyuki’s face that wasn’t light amusement, so this change offput Eijun even more. Eijun would have joked around with him if his head wasn't killing him, but fortunately Kuramochi ended the long silence with a stark laugh followed by: "Don’t you look like shit Sawamura."
Eijun grinned and mumbled out some slurred words of: " You should see what the other guy looked like."
"The other guy was a ball, Eijun!" Haruichi exclaimed.
Eijun tried to bring his emotions up despite the pain. When the hell was that painkiller going to kick in? "You mean you haven't been telling people I got into a fight protecting my underclassmen!"
Kuramochi reached over and ruffled Eijun's hair causing him to bite down on his lip. Act normal Eijun. "You don't have any underclassmen to protect, anyway Sawamura."
Eijun looked towards Furuya who was mostly standing there awkwardly. "Don't think this means I'm just going to be handing the ace spot over to you because of this! As soon as I get out of here I'm going to work extra hard to beat you!"
Furuya scowled, but didn’t reply because Miyuki had walked forward. His hands were behind his back. Eijun's smile was disappearing, but he was finally feeling some peace from the piercing migraine.
"Sawamura, close your eyes.”
"No way, how do I know you're not going to do something gross and creepy to me-,"
"Sawamura...Close your eyes."
Eijun paused before closing his eyes without further protest. First nothing happened and then something soft was placed on his head. The familiar feeling of the baseball cap. Eijun opened his eyes and found himself staring at Miyuki who quickly averted his gaze and stepped back.
The cap was a Seidou one, and Miyuki had placed it on sideways, the exact way Eijun hated and Miyuki loved. Eijun made a noise of annoyance and reached up to straighten it out. It wasn't until much later that Eijun would realize the entire Seido team had managed to write "good luck" messages on the interior. Eijun started to ramble on about nonsensical things, as the other teammates stared into some far away place. There seemed to be another thing Miyuki had to say, but no one wanted to hear.
"Sawamura."
Eijun continued to talk, it was getting harder for him to remain conscious as the painkiller worked its magic. Miyuki’s expression had changed. A neutral mask now covered his emotions.
"Sawamura Eijun."
Hearing his full name, Eijun finally stopped and looked at Miyuki. "Guess I'll just have to train my underclassmen even harder!"
"No you won't."
"Why not!" Eijun’s playfully sullen look could never have been prepared for Miyuki’s response.
"You don't need to come back to Seidou. Sawamura, we don't need you anymore."
Eijun jolted himself out of that daydream (If he could call it that. It felt more like a nightmare) when he heard his grandfather yelling his name from somewhere in their house.
"Yeah?" Eijun meekly called out. No one would have dared describe Eijun as meek but in the recent months his energy seemed to be sucked up by a black hole.
"Wakana's been ringing the doorbell for 30 minutes, did you not hear her?"
Eijun shook his head, hearing his grandfather coming into the room, "Tell her I'm out on the field or something..."
Wakana had been trying to see him for weeks and weeks. She'd managed to find him in the first month he'd returned but after that terrible experience Eijun wanted to avoid her at all costs. Something just felt wrong when he talked to his junior high friends. A sort of depressing nostalgia overcame him when he saw their faces, but the nostalgia wasn't from his junior years. When he looked at his old friends all he could think about was his friends off in Tokyo. Eijun hadn't forced himself into school yet, which his parents grossly disapproved of. Wakana came everyday on her way from school, handing whoever came to the door extra work that they were doing. Eijun couldn't look at her without thinking about Miyuki, which to Eijun made very little sense. Wakana was pretty, sweet and determined, while Miyuki had one of the rottenest personalities Eijun knew. Eijun was fairly sure he didn't believe that completely, but he couldn't come to terms with the strange feelings he had around Miyuki and Wakana.
Well, they’re both stubborn catchers… , Eijun concludes one day.
"Hi Eijun…," A female voice calls out, Eijun registering it as Wakana's voice. Had school already ended? Eijun jumped up, causing him to get lightheaded for a few moments.
"Wakana!" He cries out, forgetting any sort of honorific."Why are you here?"
"School's been in session for a few months now, and I've been giving grandpa your work. Plus it looks like you've been avoiding me so you can lounge around." Wakana raises one of her eyebrows.
Eijun glared at his grandfather who grinned mischievously in response. He was probably overcome with emotions at hearing Wakana call him "grandpa" not "Eijun's grandpa". Eijun hadn't noticed this, which showed just how close Wakana had grown to the Sawamura family.
"Oh," Eijun laughs, mustering up energy. "You see I wasn't exactly lounging around as if gaining energy. Y'know? I expended so much energy in Tokyo I just gotta recharge!"
Wakana sighed and hit him on the head with a stack of papers. "I'm going to review all of the information we've learned and you're going to take the transfer entrance exam again. You are not going to redo your second year."
"You really don't have to do that! I'll be fine here, running this lovely old farm..."
"No you won't. I'm going to force this knowledge into your brain and you will complete high school. I'm not letting you become a professional delinquent." Wakana grabbed Eijun's hand and led him into the house to a table and sat him down.
Eijun had had no time to protest. Wakana quickly jumped into teaching him, but Eijun quickly started grasping his head. He couldn't tell if it was from the knowledge overload or because he still hadn't recovered.
Wakana continued to hammer on until it got late and it was clear Eijun hadn't been listening. Wakana took a deep breath and quietly gathered the review papers that she had put so much care into creating. She was worried about Eijun, and this was how it came out. Eijun wasn’t the same. Wakana had noticed these slight changes in him from their messages, but seeing this new depressed Eijun made her long for the days when Eijun was able to smile again.
Wakana’s eyes widened as she came across this thought. That’s what had happened. An Eijun without baseball, was an Eijun who struggled to find a reason to wake up in the morning.
Such a simple equation could never come close to the reality… But at least Wakana had found a foundation on which to begin the unravelling of Eijun’s secrets.
Wakana stood up, sparking Eijun to jump up as well. He didn’t apologize for falling asleep, but it seemed to be apparent in his face that he was at least a little embarrassed about doing so. Wakana couldn’t help but smile, as she saw a flicker of the old Eijun appear. Eijun walked her to the door, and just as Wakana was about to walk out the door she paused. Then leaned over to Eijun and kissed him quickly on the cheek, “I’m happy you’re home, Eijun.”
Eijun was welcomed back inside with a gushing family, his father seemed the most proud with his hands on his hips. Eijun loved his family, but this sort of reaction only caused frustration to boil.
Before it was expected Eijun would eventually marry Wakana, the two bonding over baseball as a great battery in junior high. However, everything had changed once he went to Tokyo, when he experienced the amazing sounds of his pitch hitting a glove. He fell in love with the baseball he found at Seido.
If only Eijun had enough self-awareness to realize this. Then again, even if he had had enough self-awareness, it would only have led to more torment. As the feeling he loved so much, would never be reproduced again.
“When are you two getting married?” Eijun’s grandfather teased, rubbing his head affectionately.
Eijun shook him off, a blushing face appearing. His mother simply smiled as the boys of the family roughly bonded. Eijun shoved these growing uncertain feelings down deep, and let the phrase, “This could be alright” arise. This slowly became his mantra, although admittedly it was difficult for Eijun not to ask “what if” questions about what could have been.
Eijun trudged through the snow; he was grinning despite the shivers. It had been a while since he’d experienced this amount of snow, and although Eijun was known to prefer the summer, the cold seemed to enhance his enthusiasm. The cold seeped into him, and provided him with a welcoming energy. Eijun hadn’t realized he had begun to whistle, until he had reached the school building and one of his former junior high classmates came up to him and commented on it.
“You’re whistling today!”
“There’s just something about the snow today, y’know! I really missed this amount of snow in Tokyo.” Eijun replied cheerfully, he shook the snow off his hat and shoes before putting them into the shoe locker.
“Tokyo doesn’t get a lot of snow?”
“Tokyo gets snow, but we always have to shovel it away for practice. And not nearly as much as here!” Eijun sighed, thinking about watching his teammates push the shovels as he was forced to sit on the bench. A quick and abrupt shake of his head granted him an eyebrow raise.
Eijun had managed to transfer into the high school he and his friends had planned to attend. It was only because of Wakana’s study aid did Eijun really manage to get into the school. Although the school wasn’t particularly elite, it was more difficult to transfer into due to the odd timing of it.
Eijun had mostly been welcomed with open arms again, however when the first baseball practice he attended came around and Eijun said he wouldn’t pitch, his former friends had misunderstood the reason. No one was aware of the reasoning, and Eijun hadn’t been able to clear up the misunderstanding.
The idea that Eijun wouldn’t be willing to pitch was so foreign, that their thoughts ran astray and deduced that Eijun must think he was “better” than them because he had competed in Tokyo, and they were unworthy of practicing with him.
“His moving fastball is useless anyway…” Someone comments in the locker room.
Eijun wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to assimilate back into this environment. It was hard to forget what once was… the sound of his pitch hitting the catcher’s glove… the rushing emotions after practice, or after winning a game… but worst of all, the inability to forget the cruel bittersweet feeling after a lost… What made Eijun angriest was that there would be no way to make good those memories. He was stuck here, feeling as if he was moving back in time. He was back to where he was before, but all he felt was remorse for the future that could’ve been.
Despite his inability to participate, Eijun had slowly become their team's number 1 fan. At some point he had also named himself the “little boss”, and now came to practice wearing sunglasses. He laughed loudly, and pointed out flaws in people’s forms or positions. It had been a joke at first, but slowly Eijun became a mentor for the team. It was disappointing for Eijun that the team took a break in the winter. It made Eijun become even more anxious to be outside, and led to him watching baseball on TV far more than he should have as a full-time second year student. It was a drastic change from the junior-high Eijun who had refused to watch anyone pitch on the mound other than himself, proof that he had changed at least a little.
“This is alright,” Eijun yells, at the top of his lungs one day. He had his arms raised above his head, standing wide on the mound. There was no audience other than a frightened bird that ruffled its wings and flew away.
While cherry blossoms usually signified new beginnings, this time their appearance brought about an old face.
Eijun couldn’t help but stop and stare at the newspaper that was being displayed at the convenience store. He had been walking with his friends who had decided they wanted to get lunch at the store, and Eijun had cheerfully agreed. School was starting again next week and they were trying to enjoy the few days left of peace before they became third years. Eijun still hadn’t gotten used to his reduced diet, making him hungry nearly all the time. Eijun nearly dropped his pork bun when he saw the familiar face on the side of the newspaper.
“Sawamura, are you alright?” Someone asks.
Eijun didn’t reply as he picked up the newspaper and handed it to the cashier to purchase as well.
The cashier was an old man, who knew Eijun by name. The town was so small that most service workers knew the customers they served personally.
“You like Miyuki Kazuya, Sawamura?” He asks, staring at the page of the newspaper. “You know, I think he’s great. It’s too bad that he’s heading off to America. I suppose its good for him, though.” The old man hands him his things in a little plastic bag. Eijun simply nods, and hands him too much money, before rushing out of the store.
He wasn’t sure how far he had run, before he sat down on a bench. Eijun pulled out the newspaper and stared at the article that had made its way to the side of the front page. The title read: “Miyuki accepts American Major League offer”. Eijun hadn’t thought about Miyuki for so long and then suddenly this one small picture of him as a third year had been thrown at him. It was hard to tell how much Miyuki had changed in one year, but Eijun did notice his hair had gotten slightly longer. His eyes were still filled with the mischief and concentration Eijun was used to, much to Eijun’s relief. The article read:
“Seidou’s famous catcher, Miyuki Kazuya, has recently revealed he was offered a scholarship at an American university if he played on their baseball team. Miyuki also stated that he accepted this offer and would be heading to southern California at the end of the summer. Seidou’s fourth batter, captain and catcher is an astonishing player who is often believed to be the main reason why the high school baseball team was able to excel to such a large extent. Miyuki is often credited to his varying and smart baseball leads, which brought out the best of the pitchers at Seidou such as the famous Furuya Satoru, and fellow third-year, sidearmer Kawakami Norifumi. Miyuki says that although he had had no previous plans to travel abroad for school, a sudden change in character pushed him to accept the offer. Japan wishes you luck in America, Miyuki Kazuya!”
Eijun drops the article, and stares blankly towards his feet. A soft laugh comes out of his mouth, “Congratulations Miyuki Kazuya, the dumbass…” When Miyuki Kazuya appeared in Eijun’s head a bitter, melancholic feeling surrounded him. He wasn’t sure what he would ever say to him. Of course, Eijun didn’t have to worry all that much about that now. He could wish Miyuki Kazuya good-bye.
Although the sharp, irritated feeling didn’t leave him, Eijun picked up the article and crumpled it into his pocket.
Sawamura Eijun had all but forgotten Miyuki Kazuya when summer vacation of his third year came around. He really should have been studying as Wakana had told him to do. Wakana and Eijun had stopped talking every day as they had in the past. Eijun wasn’t sure why but Wakana had been acting distant towards him, and Eijun had never put enough effort into keeping their friendship up. Why had it been easier to stay best friends with 245 kilometers between them?
Eijun was sitting on the edge of the house, letting his feet dangle. The summer heat was a welcoming feeling for once, after a surprisingly cold winter. Eijun had found himself in a stark contrast of what he was a year ago, but Eijun wasn’t sure if the steps he had taken were just his outer layers or if he really truly was happy without baseball. Eijun had attempted to pitch several times as the baseball manager, only to be met with angry, confused yelling. His shoulder always twitched, and his hands were pulled into fists, when baseball was brought up. Each practice as he watched the pitcher walk up to the mound, he felt his eyes burn and every muscle in his body tremble. He hated watching people on the mound, when he couldn’t be on it, clearly a development from when he wasted away his days watching baseball on TV. But imagining that Eijun would completely abandon baseball was impossible. While this wasn’t the most comfortable situation for Eijun, it was the only one that was able to quench the baseball thirst inside him.
Eijun was on the porch of the front of the house, so he could just see the road behind the trees of their front yard. He had been waiting for his friends to come over so they could “study”, but really it would have ended up with them goofing off. It was impossible to make Eijun concentrate anymore. His friends said he had matured at school, but really his willpower had only grown more reasonable.
Eijun didn’t expect to see Miyuki Kazuya ever again, almost blotting out the memory of him. Which was why when Eijun saw Miyuki walking on the road, his head down staring at his phone with a perplexed look, he ignored the supposed hallucination for a good minute.
It wasn't until Miyuki stared at the number of their house and then back to his phone, while whispering something to himself did Eijun finally realize, that it was probably not a hallucination.
Before he had realized what he was doing, Eijun had jumped down from the foundation and was marching up to Miyuki. He had no clue what he would say but was mostly too overwhelmed with emotion to really care.
"Did you miss me that much?" Eijun blurts loudly, a small smirk on his face. This cooly hid the fact that Eijun desperately wanted to punch Miyuki and cry.
Miyuki, startled, looks up from his phone. At the site of Eijun, he grins and replies, "Dumbass, who said I was looking for you?"
Eijun huffed, “Well you were either looking for me, or desperately loss.” He paused, “Probably both?”
Miyuki stepped towards Eijun and leaned in to hug him, which had thrown Eijun so off that he ended up really punching Miyuki. With a loud crack, Eijun's fist hit Miyuki's jaw and sent Miyuki stumbling back.
Miyuki simply laughed, "Guess I deserved that, huh?" He was rubbing his jaw and adjusting his glasses before looking back at Eijun who had started to cry. So much for controlling his emotions. "This is quite the welcome."
"Bastard what makes you think you can just show up at my house unannounced and then think: 'Hey I might as well hug Sawamura since you know, we're best friends after the fact I kicked him off the team'."
Miyuki stayed silent.
"It's been almost two years, you haven't so much talked to me and the last thing I heard from you wasn't even good-bye."
"Sawamura..."
"You're such an ass...,"
"Yeah so sorry about interrupting you, but my jaw is probably broken. Where's the nearest hospital?"
And so Eijun hurriedly grabbed his bike, forced Miyuki to sit on the back, and guiltily brought him to the hospital.