Chapter Text
Tonight's the night. One of our star-players takes center stage...after a few more rehearsals that is. Alright, clearing my throat now.
"You ready girls?" I say with joy!
"Ready when you are!" Gita says, I then give a thumbs up to our drummer Dora.
"A ONE, TWO", she taps her drum sticks as she shouts while counting down. "A ONE, Tw-"
FIVE, SIX SEVEN
But only for like two seconds. I came in, instead.
"HEYYYYYYYYY~" Dora yells at me, which makes me chuckle.
"MIYUJIIIIIII, WHY?!"
I just couldn't help myself, haha.
EIGHT!!!!!
This is the very first song on our setlist tonight. I thought it would be great for nostalgic reasons. I go back to the Spring of Freshman year each time I hear this song. Horuda, me, and Gita's guitars with the drums makes it feel like I have gone back in time to that very day. It makes me smile as I look at everyone.
"Are you girls ready to rock it tonight?", I shout, which makes some of them chuckle. Till Gita ruins the fun.
"Keep your focus, we have been practicing this for over a week now-"
"I know, I know. We also gotta keep things in a good mood for this song!"
"Speaking of which..." She says with concern on her face, she then nods over to Horuda.
I then look her way. She looks tired by how her posture looks, she's really gripping onto that mic. But at least she's trying her best. Ok then. I'll give myself a headstart for her.
"Psst, RuRu!!" I say to alert her, she then looks at me.
I give her a wink "I gotchu'!". She then mouths me a 'thank you'. I smiled for a slight second as her "thank you" made me feel a little bad. I hope choosing her was the right decision. If I can do this, she can do this!
I then start to sing.
"How long do we have left to go enjoy the summer rain?"
You asked me, still half asleep, but trying hard to not complain
She then joins in to duet the next two verses with me, which makes me smile.
[M & H]
"I overheard the news saying "the sun is leaving soon!"
"Well let's get out then, we've got no time to lose!"
[Miyuji]
Taking my hand and dragging me through landscapes unforeseen
We passed hills, and roads and skies I thought I'd never ever meet
And no one else but us had seen this summer yet
[Horuda]
Just us, just us, a moment I will never forget
She sounded SUPER GOOD! I gotta applaud her for that! Of course everyone else is doing good too, so I give them a thumbs up!
Oh great- I am getting stared at now...please stop looking at me...
[Horuda]
Ah, back then we had zero worries on our mind
A memory of summer past, how I wish I could rewind
The brightest smile you'd ever flashed, we laughed until we couldn't breathe
"WOOOO!!". I cheer out in the middle of her singing, which makes me walk over to her while strumming my guitar. She then smiles as we look at each other for our next duet part.
[M & H]
A warm summer day for just you and me, me
Farewell and I love you
That's all I wish to say
So much of time has passed
But I know we'll stay the same
We will not change
She sang that last part with so much passion that I couldn't help but laugh as I walked back over to my spot.
[Horuda]
No
Just like the stars
[Miyuji]
The sky
[Gita]
And milkyway
I'll keep smiling, okay?
[G, H, M]
So maybe we'll meet again one day!
CHIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS~
"YEAH GITA!!! FIRE UP THAT GUITAR!!!". Dora shouts as Gita riffs her guitar, which are always a joy to hear!
After that we all would do a bit of silly sounding vocalization noises, while making silly faces. Which makes us all laugh, particularly Horuda's laugh is contagious though. Here comes Dora and Kiba's solos now.
[Dora]
Life can be a bit harsh, isn't that right?
Even now it's not that kind.
[Kiba]
But to live you just have to keep a bright smile
""Cause that's what living is...
"Like" [D & K]
"JINX!" Dora shouts at her, which makes Kiba laugh.
[Horuda]
If it were that easy it wouldn't make sense
It's okay to cry, you know?
She sounded quite emotional singing that part...
[Gita]
Life would lose all it's meaning if you brush it off,
[Miyuji]
You cannot pretend to not feel that it's tough
I look at Horuda as I sing that, she then turns towards me strumming her guitar during her next part.
[Horuda]
There's no way that I could shrug this all off...
Oh, poor Horuda...
[Kiba]
My tears were falling, but the sun was
still as bright [K & D]
[Miyuji]
My vision blurring, yet I could
still see you right [M & G]
....
Horuda looks over to me, again. She seems nervous...I guess I'm finishing the song off for her, now.
[Miyuji]
Even if I-
[Horuda]
I stumble, there's still this star filled sky to look upon
I guess I...
Oh, there we go! Well to make this more fun than. I'll gesture for all of us to sing the rest together!
Will live on, oh
I know this sky loves you!
Though you have gone away
It will stay dyed bright blue
Even in midst of change
You know I won't forget about you
I know we'll meet again, so 'till that day
I'll keep on pushing through!
Just promise you'll keep on smiling too!
I then clap after we finish the song, "Nice job guys!" but then the awkwardness kicks in with their panting...they all sound exhausted.
"Ok...ok...that was something-" Dora adds
"For real, Miyuji, you gotta think more consecutively. Y'know" Gita says as she rolls her eyes at me.
"Relax, Horuda needs all the hyping up she can get considering that she's our center"
"We know..." Dora says, as she looks up, exhausted as she drops her drumsticks down to the floor. Then holding her face.
"Oh, don't be a baby." Kiba says to her. Which makes Dora groan, oh my goodness...
"Miyuji, don't you think-" Gita says, but then I cut her off.
"Welllllll~ I believe she can do this! It's about time she gets her turn at being center, right Horuda?"
She just looks at me silently...
"Right?" I say again...
~Horuda~
"Ehe..." I say, awkwardly.
Honestly I feel like she babies me most of the time but I am also just tired...not to mention our setlist songs are kind of exhausting to perform. This one the notes just go on and on. Well not that I have a problem with it. I'm just not feeling it after doing the song over and over again-
"I appreciate the encouragement but the exhaustion is killing me."
"I'm so sorry." Gita says. She then looks over to Miyuji, seeming mad at her for some reason.
"Miyuji, can we talk?"
"Yeah? About what?"
"You know what." Gita sounds pretty sassy...which makes me, Dora, and Kiba "Oooh" in unison. Miyuji then sighs, as she walks over to the side to talk with Gita.
"It's like a show in here today" Kiba says as she giggles, while covering her mouth.
"Oh, tell me about it. Talk about Miyuji's weird 'woo' during the rehearsal. It sounded silly." Dora says.
I then turn around to look at Dora, "Don't be mean, she's just-" she cuts me off...
"Trying to lighten up the mood. Yeah, yeah.", Dora then sighs and carries on with whatever she has to say.
"To be honest, she sometimes can be annoying—well not like annoying, annoying but I find Miyuji's energy to be too much?"
Kiba shakes her head at Dora's comment, "I think it's like having a cheerleader in here! Which our school needs, honestly..."
"Well too bad they're bitches!" Dora laughs at her own joke? She then looks at me and stops laughing. "Sorry, forgot that they're your bitches" and there she goes again...I just awkwardly laugh along with her.
"Yeah, I'm tired of them...but I've moved on now, Umeji on the other hand still seems tired of them." I say, which makes her look at me with coldness in her eyes but also annoyed by her jaw dropping. I then just switch topics quickly, honestly if anything were to go wrong tonight, the worst would be seeing Musume and her gang there.
"So how are we feeling about tonight?"
"Tired, nervous, scared, excited, but not–too excited...but exhausted and excited!" Kiba says while smiling.
"Aren't we all exhausted? Like in general? The drumming is enough to kill my hands here. How do you think I feel?" Dora says.
"You are so, so, so, silly. I mean I am tired too but I was mostly exaggerating there for the fun of it. If anything, these songs are at least fun to perform!" Kiba adds while giggling.
"Easy for you to say! You're always dancing along with those tiny fingers of yours!"
"Well, do you want to switch with me then?"
"I am perfectly capable of carrying your asses. Thank you."
I laugh at the two bickering a little. "Well Dora you kinda suggested the song yourself...so you asked for this." I say with sarcasm.
"Yeah-yeah, shut up. I already regret my decision enough."
Kiba would then go to stand in front of Dora, looking down on her as she is still sitting. "Is that soooo?? C'mon girl, it's not like it's the end of the world...at least we aren't Horuda but if you wanna sw-"
Here's the thing, I don't usually care how my performances may look. But since I'm centering here, the least I expect is some respect for doing it. Despite being in misery, about it...
"Excuse me?"
Kiba then looks at me with a passive smile. It always catches me off guard whenever she looks like that. Despite her appearing bubbly half the time, she's a very expressive person when it comes to everything else. Which makes her easy-and-very weird to read.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I said nothing!" she says.
"You know I can hear you, right?"
I walk up to both of them, looking as dramatic as I am. I'm also slightly annoyed but I have to get it out of my system, sometimes haha-
"I'm seriously going through it with ALL the centering cues and such, and if I could just not be here after our rehearsals, I would...so the best thing I will say IS PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER!!! If I am doing this to the point of exhaustion that makes all of us". I then dramatically sigh.
"Yeah Kiba, 'doing' makes all of us. Listen to what she said.." Dora would laugh, which Kiba also does. Which makes me smile, that was kind of good.
"You're right though, it does take all of us to make a team effort." Dora adds.
"Yeah! I can say that we all agree that we're quite passionate as ever! RuRu-Chan is really into it, nonetheless here" Kiba adds...which makes me blush a little, her kindness can also be quite sharp, once you really feel it.
"Thanks!"
"And Dora, it's admirable how flawlessly talented you are with your drumming."
"You got that right." Dora adds with a nod and a smile.
Miyuji and Gita would then go over to the three of us with awkward smiles on their faces. Miyuji would then go first with:
"Alright, so before we wrap up for the day. We're gonna do some moving into the gym!".
Gita adds after her; "Which of course you girls have to help with and if you want afterwards, we can go over the setlist one more time by the time we get there!"
Dora would then groan, Kiba just exhales, and I feel awkward with blinking like I have just seen air. It's been a long day and we all just want to go home before tonight...I literally feel like I'm gonna collapse after moving stuff.
"Are we gonna get extra help with moving anything at least?" Kiba asks and awkwardly again Miyuji would look at Gita. Gita facepalms at her expression, or is it because of what Kiba said? Then again sometimes Miyuji can be dense and Gita gets annoyed at her for it. They're both like an old married couple, sometimes.
"S-sure, ask anyone you can!" Miyuji says.
"This is exactly what I thought would happen..." Gita says.
"GiGi, I am so sorry-"
I would ask the delinquents, knowing my boyfriend would help but I don't know about the others...oh wait I know! I could ask Kokona to see if she can get the Drama Club to help us out!
"I'll ask the Drama Club"
"Ok" Miyuji nods at that.
"And I'll ask the Martial Arts Club." Dora says.
"They're in the middle of a sparring activity, they usually do it around the same time as we rehearse." Gita says immediately after...
"Damn it! What about you Kiba?"
"Uhhh, I can't think...I'll just help persuade the Drama Club with RuRu of course!", she then laughs.
She is such an airhead sometimes...we all know it. Especially since her saying stuff like that creates awkward silences...
but Miyuji breaks it right away.
"O-o..ok then gang! Let's go meet up with the Drama Club!"
—-------------------------------
~Miyuji~
I hope we can pull tonight off. I am starting to think that Gita was right, choosing Horuda may have been a tough choice for her, but I don't know...
"Thanks for the help, Yamazaki!"
"Why yes of course, after all it is best to share ones brightness"
He always spats the weirdest stuff...
I cross my arms, "Hey can I ask you something?"
"What is the matter?"
I take a breath, "Since like, you have experience with managing and all that-stuff...umm and like for our show tonight. You know Horuda, it's gonna be her first time basically being up there–well centering the songs for tonight at the very least..."
"She's a phenomenal one."
"Right. I definitely think so too. We all do...but sometimes I feel like I push her too hard or even I feel like I push everyone too hard and since Horuda isn't that familiar with being the center of our band, I just have this feeling."
"I see. You know when we performed Heathers with her 2 years ago?"
"Y-yeah, I have been thinking about that a lot now. Ever since we started rehearsing for tonight."
He would smile as I said that, "Well what if I let you in on a secret" he would whisper dramatically as he said that. I do the same too as I ask him "What's the secret?"
"It's ok to push one if it means they could set setting their heart ablaze yet you have to also remember how to set yours too"
"W-what? What does that mean?" he would laugh as I asked.
"Shibakoya, you are among that. Everyone with you in your band is. As anyone in any club at this school but what makes it so lovely for yours is that you gave Horuda the chance."
I gasp...I think I know what he's getting at? Tbh, I don't know how he speaks with so much charm but it's inspiring to hear it, every time.
"I have seen so much impeccable talent over my years in theater, however it always amazes me when those who think they have very little actually end up having the most passion in their hearts. Seeing you and Mashiko for instance, you know it's like you two are almost twins."
We both chuckle at that, "You're right and thank you!"
"Why of course and thank you too."
"Huh?"
"For always bringing your best with those around you, Miss Shibakoya" he would then curtsy after saying that as I would do the same too!
~Gita~
"GiGiiiiiii!!!" As soon as I was done with dropping off some equipment she called out to me. I turned around to face Miyuji.
"Hey", I greet her as I smile.
"Yooo!!"
"What's up?"
"Doing awesome!" she said that as she put a fist up while smiling with her eyes closed. Which makes me chuckle in an uneasy way.
"I see..."
"Hope you are too!" she says winking at me and snapping, pointing her fingers. I nod, "Tonight's gonna be a treat and not just for us" I say.
"Yeah! It'll be one for Horuda!" she says.
"Oh...well she is one of us. I like–also meant the audience"
Miyuji gives a optimistic smile, "I know, of course I know it's just her centering us tonight is all I can think about and-"
"Ok, about what I said earlier." I just cut, I hope I haven't doubted her. This wouldn't be a good thing if Miyuji starts having doubts about this before we even perform. At least I hope she doesn't.
Miyuji would fold her hands behind her, then stretch them out—as she would clutch her hair looking to the side, "It's not about that. I am excited for her to perform, of course I am! It's just..."
"Miyuji, 'trust the music' as you always say"
"Yeah and I stand by that!" she says, cheerful as ever.
"Then good, there shouldn't be anything to worry about." I smile while saying that as lively as I can. "Yeah but talking to Yamazaki about how nervous I felt he basically told me things more about myself, I guess..."
"Like?"
"That-" she sighs, then crossing her arms "I don't know-I think it's kind of cheesy-"
I giggle, "Well you do get pretty passionate and flustered whenever you talk about him, so let me guess..."
"What? NO! I don't-don't like him!" she would shake her head while waving her hands, sounding embarrassed.
I laugh, "Well you two are quite close."
"He's just easy to talk to...and umm it doesn't have anything to do with that. It's just how do I put it? Especially as a leader?"
"Huh?" I look at her confused as she looks down, flustered and nervous.
"I feel like whenever it comes to us being a band it's still hard to get around it. I just don't want to trouble Horuda or any of you guys, I know it may not be the brightest idea of mine to have her center but...". She goes silent.
Don't doubt yourself Miyuji, don't ever-we can't have that tonight.
"You believe in Horuda, right?" I add.
"Of course I do!" she says.
I really meant to say to her...but I know it's unnecessary to ask her that because Miyuji herself is in a world of her own compared to the rest of us. A world she only understands.
"It's that I'm worried"
"About what?"
"Worried things may not work out and they do, for us two whenever we center but I don't want to overwork Horuda or-well put pressure onto her. I mean in some way now Horuda still seems-so-"
"So, I think that it'll be ok. We all can't be perfect and we've been working hard and as much as our rehearsal time may have been a little much so-to-say. I think no one wants this as much as you do for Horuda and listen, I think she wants it as much as you do to try her best. It'll be worth it, okay?"
"Worth it" she repeats as she looks at me, "Worth it, huh. I see~"
I know she understood that way better when I said it. I don't actually believe most things are worth something just that it's more of a way to stay in the right direction. Miyuji knows more than me about that. Whenever we all see her, she is filled with lots of expression in what she says and it's amazing. She's always so clear-cut that I don't get it and that's saying as I've known her since we were kids.
"Worth it is it, indeed.", she nods while smiling as I nod back, exchanging a smile too "Yes". Miyuji would then pull in to give me a hug, which surprised me...but I welcomed it as I hugged back. Then after she would give me a dap...
I personally cringe whenever people do this and also since I'm not great at them but I do it anyway with low effort though...
"LET'S MAKE TONIGHT ROCKING WORTH IT!" she would then shout as we dapped which made me shake my head "Don't be so loud...", I smiled, embarrassed.
"HELL YEAH!"
...that startled me as we both looked over to see that Haruka shouted. She was wheeling a radio it seemed and stopped out of excitement to shout that. Now Miyuji looks at her embarrassed, how funny this is. "Careful with that radio now Haruka!".
She would salute back to Miyuji, "Roger!" she then continues rolling it over to the stage. Me and Miyuji would look at each other laughing as she would give me another hug, this one was more sudden.
"Thank you for being a part of my world, Gita!"
"Oh...yeah, y-you got it uh-uh~always!" I just awkwardly respond to that-if anything Miyuji is too over appreciative and sometimes I don't like it-but it's not her, it's me. I just awkwardly hugged her back too by patting her back, couldn't have become more awkward though when Soma called her from behind as that broke our hug apart. "Uhhh Shibakoya-Senpai?". "Sorry.." she whispers to me quickly as she then turns over, walking to him , "Yo, sup' Soma-Kun!".
"For being a part of your world, huh?" I mumble that to myself as I watch her walk over to him. I always wonder how Miyuji thinks like she does, I wonder how anyone does. I'm a bit jealous of people who have a lot to think for themselves and their futures. How does 'being in your own world' work? How do you put the world together?
That much I can't say to myself. Only people like her know...
~Horuda~
Do, mi, mi, la, so, so, so...
I honestly don't feel like singing right now but Gita mentioned we may rehearse one last time.
Do, mi, mi, la, so, so, so
Do, mi-mi, la-
Laaaaa faaa~ mi re miiiii~
"Huh?"
"Hi there Mashiko!"
Oh, it's Kitagawa and Kurosawa.
"Hello, Kitagawa, Kurosawa!"
"Oh no need for the formalities, just call me Tokuko or Toku even!"
"Uhh whatever you want to call me" Kurosawa would say after Toku- I'll just stick to calling her Kitagawa still-
She would grip both of my hands suddenly, as she also suddenly speaks faster that it scares me...
"You're so cool, Horuda! Is it fine if I call you that?". I just nodded and I was about to say something but she kept going.
"I just want to say that I can't wait for your performance tonight and I have been getting into bands as of recently and the fact that there is one at our school is SO AWESOME! ...Ehe also sorry if I am squeezing your hands too tight, I tend to get over excited as you can see". She then would let go of them as she scratched her chin looking embarrassed.
"Um it's fine and thank you, to be honest I'm feeling kind of umm"
"Stress-vous" Kurosawa would just finish my sentence for me, with that word. Which made me and Kitagawa laugh as he said that.
"Pun not intended but seriously, being stressed and nervous isn't a bad thing. It's just minor stage fright. I get it."
"Well it's more than just being stressed you see." I say.
"Oh?" he says.
"It's my first time playing as center in our band and I don't want to disappoint anybody but at the same time I don't want anyone to worry too much about it, I just want to have a good time but I don't know if I will, considering how-how messy or stress-vous, I am"
"Hmmm I see."
"It isn't easy having those feelings for sure" Kitagawa would say.
"It really isn't" I say, nodding in agreement.
"Mmhm but you know what's so cool about it?".
"Yeah?" I ask in response, as I and Kurosawa would turn to look at her.
"You aren't in it alone and take it from me, I have been acting since I was in diapers! That doesn't mean I am free from nerves though, like every time I have an audition my mind actually stresses a lot. Will I get the part that I want? Will I be convincing enough? Am I too over the top?- Well the last part is needed because it's acting of course but what I'm trying to say is that I'm sure Shibakoya and the others could be as nervous as you, you aren't alone."
"Y-you make a f-f-fair point- oh god I'm stuttering, sorry..."
"Don't be, you don't have to put up a front around us. We're friendly goobers!" Kurosawa says. "Goobers? Seriously?" Kitagawa says as she shakes her head, "It's a funny word, Toku" he laughs. I do too which makes both of them smile at me, and suddenly makes me become embarrassed.
"Hey Toku, what's the biggest mistake you ever made while on stage?" he asks her.
"Let me think" she would put her index finger to her chin, tapping it as she pondered his question, "Oh! This was back in middle school, and I remember playing in Romeo And Juliet...you know how the script is weird is a little weird?" she looks at him, "Yeah" he nods.
"Ok so there's a lot of old fashioned slang, words, or whatever they use like 'they, thoo, thou, thy'-blah-blah-blah. It made things super confusing, at least for me. I was understudying for Juliet one night and I think this was around the climax of the play but I screwed up this important line..."
"What was it?" I ask, she then would clear her throat and when she delivered, 'yOoUuuUUu kIsS tHhhHyY tHeEeEe BOOK' she did it in a squeaky childish voice.
"...What the fuck?" I say as we would all laugh.
"I know, I know and believe me it made things awkward with my scene partners but you know.."
"The show went on!" he finishes her sentence, "It did indeed, Shozo!" she pointed her right index finger at him.
"I don't know if this counts but I screw up with things that I enjoy too, as a director I like balancing things out and hearing people out, in other words I'm open to creative freedom! But...that doesn't mean things can become cluttered in a production. However, thankfully I always work with good people!" Kurosawa added after.
"Good people, hmm" I mumble that to myself as I fidget with my hair a bit. Am I good? Sometimes I don't think I am cut out to be a musician like...my Dad was. He was good, he was proud of his music but for me I feel it's hard to even consider that I can be good. Kurosawa and Kitagawa make this sound easy, to have the talent in the spotlight.
I sigh as I look to the side "Good people..." I mumble to myself again as I take out my phone to stare at my black screen, sometimes it's comforting to look at my reflection. Not for the 'self-pep talk' but because it's like staring off into space but you're looking into the void of your eyes. My eyes are blue like a dark blue, right now at least they look like they are. My phone's off and the black screen makes me think my eyes have gotten darker or voided...
I sigh as I put my phone down onto my lap.
"Something up Horuda?" Kitagawa asks, "Yeah I'm fine-". You don't have to say you are" Kurosawa says as I sigh again, then I shift into a smile as I look at him. "I am ok, I'm good, I'm ready, I can-"
"Show don't tell"
"Huh?" I cringe at what he said.
"Show don't tell, put your chin up!"
"But my chin is up?" I sound embarrassed. I mean I am literally looking at him so this just sounds weird- "Well stand up from your chair then"
"Ok..." I stand up from my chair. I don't know why I did what he said. The both of them then look at me smiling, like siamese cats. It creeps me out a little, not gonna lie.
I then would shrug, "Well! I'm standing! I am standing!" and for some reason I sound cheerful saying that. This is weird. "You're glowing" he would say, which makes me flustered, let alone he's smiling at me when he said that. I mean I'm not doing anything much-
"You also look cool!" Kitagawa would say cheerfully.
"Haha, cool? You should see the others-" I added.
"No I mean it! I really admire your whole aesthetic, you know, the blue tips in your hair. How you wear your makeup like a fun girly rock star!". I look at her laughing, "Fun girly rock star, that's a way of putting it.".
Well she does have a point, I do what I can to look the part, after all.
Kitagawa would then fold her hands behind her back, then she would walk towards me as if she's a deputy or something. And as her face got close to me she looked at me as if I had offended her...well I hope I haven't by laughing at what she said. I think I may have because she suddenly gave out a deep sigh...unexpectedly though...
"Pardon? Miss gally-gal. It's the only way of putting it 'round these parts of the rodeo."
"Why yes but you see sheriff, the fair maiden was only lost on gettin' to a performance. She's a star, yuh see?" Kurosawa joins in as he walks closer to me as well. It's like they both have become different people all of a sudden with their weird southern accents.
"I see but it seems to me she ain't even singin' right", Kitagawa says. "Huh, what's that supposed to mean?" I question what she is even saying...
"It means you have to prove that you can pass first, missy-miss!"
"Dangnabbit sheriff, this is why we see no one with smiles anymore." Kurosawa says, "Well it wouldn't be like that if the people knew how to finish gettin' it down". They both are now just staring at each other with conflicting tension in their eyes. I know it's only acting but it's awkward because this improv act started with me-
"She can get it down too."
They both then look at me again, their faces make me wonder how they aren't laughing at what they're doing right now though. Kitagawa looks stern, while Kurosawa looks bug-eyed. Which makes me laugh. "This is no damn laughing matter!" Kitagawa shouts, which makes me laugh even harder. I clear my throat after I laugh and just join in.
"I think I get your drift, sheriff. So tell me you like jazz?" I say.
"Jazz is DESPICABLE! Rock is more for me, you'd get if you were my age!" she says.
"In other words you are picky"
"Wha?! Me picky?! Pfft, kids these days" she would cross her arms. "She has a point, you don't let loose that it scares the children." Kurosawa adds.
"Well guess I am not for the kids then and it's not a problem that concerns me".
You know unironically, I think I'm also picky in some ways too. But I am also indecisive. I would put my right hand up as if I was carrying a wine glass, then smirking. "Fufufufu, sing me something sheriff", I say in a slight British tone. "Oh god it's been years though, I couldn't simply..."
"I've seen you" Kurosawa says.
"WHAT IN TARNATION! You lie!"
"Nuh-uh, you do"
Kitagawa then would do a dramatic sigh as she clicked her tongue while shaking her head. "Fine, I'll sing a little song about me's life..." she then would cough dramatically and then clear her throat. Then sing:
'Baby, why you so locked up in lies?
Don't you know you could have the truth?'
Kurosawa then would do a fake yawn and shout "Booooooooo!". Suddenly that would make her stop, "You booin' me? Fine then, I'll go all out. Just for you, PEASANT!".
"You callin' me a peasant? I beg your pardon, sheriff". "Yeah, yeah..." she then would again cough dramatically but just goes straight to singing...and oh boy, it's atrocious...
'lOoK aT ChYo' mAmA nOw ShEs CrYiN'
cAuSe ShE tHiNkS hEr BaY-BaY's dYiN'
DoNt PuT uP a FiiIIiIiIiGgGHhHhT
SHEEEE JUUUUUSSSSTTT WANATS TO HOLD YOU TIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTT'
Ok. I couldn't help but laugh again, same for Kurosawa he did too. In fact it got everyone else in the gym too. "Well, well, well sheriff. You are what they call tone-deaf" I say with snark. Which makes everyone laugh again, as that startles me from behind. I see the girls watching from afar. Even Kitagawa and Kurosawa stare. Kitagawa's eyes widen like they are lighting up at me but then she shifts back into character as she goes back to looking stern, with her hands on her hips.
"Care to share what you's can do then?"
...I thought we were just goofing off, I wanted to forget about singing or performing for a moment. Then Kurosawa looks at me, walking close to put a hand onto my shoulder.
"I believe in you, I am your manager after all. You wouldn't be where you are though if it weren't for your amazin' talent. So don't let the mean-old sheriff get you down about it. You're a star Missy Jazz!"
That makes me giggle a bit because of the name. "You're right I am Missy Jazz...but there's a song I haven't sung before, a song that no one has heard me sing."
"Whatever do you mean, Missy?"
I put my hands together on my chest, like I'm about to pray as I then look over to Kiba, winking as a signal for her to come and accompany me in what I'm about to sing. Then I close my eyes as I shift back into character. "Dear lover...I miss you, I hope you are up in heaven watching over me as I sing this song. I'll always cherish you and the words you gave me to keep on singing, I wouldn't be who I am today without you. You were there for me when my parents passed and I miss all of you everyday, so I dedicate this song to all of you. God bless you all, amen." I then clear my throat as I give Kiba thumbs up for the piano, I then begin singing...
My mother bought it second hand
from a silent movie star
It was out of tune
but still I learned to play
And with each note we both would smile
forgetting who we are
And all the pain would simply fly away
I feel like I'm off pitch or maybe I'm just nervous. But I shouldn't be, I'm just singing to friends. Yeah friends...
Something secondhand and broken
still can make a pretty sound
Even if it doesn't have a place to live
Everyone's eyes are all on me, oh god...no- close your eyes. It's just me in my bedroom or just me and the spotlight. Breathe...
Oh the words were left unspoken
when my momma came around
But that Secondhand White Baby Grand
still had something beautiful to give
Miyuji smiles at me, which makes me feel a little better, but I feel even better hearing Kiba's beautiful piano. I look back for a second seeing her, I also spot Kitagawa and Kurosawa smiling. Kitagawa especially looks captivated though.
Through missing keys and broken strings
the music was our own
Until the day we said our last goodbyes
The baby grand was sent away
a child all alone
to pray somebody else would realize
Forgot how this song makes me cry...I miss you Dad.
That something secondhand and broken
still can make a pretty sound
Even if it doesn't have a place to live
Oh the words are still unspoken
now that poppa's not around
But that Secondhand White Baby Grand
still has something beautiful to give
At one point in my life, back when things were good between my parents. My father was always playing music, I remember day in and day out I would hear different kinds of instruments from his room. The song I'm singing was actually a song he taught me the keys to on the piano. Which was part of why I chose to sing it right now despite how much my mom doesn't like talking about him. I think about this song sometimes, whenever I miss him.
For many years the music had to roam
Until we found a way to find a home
So now I wake up every day and see them standing there
Just waiting for a partner to compose
And I wish my parents still could hear
That sound beyond compare
I'll play their song till everybody knows
That something secondhand and broken
still can make a pretty sound
Don't we all deserve a family room to live
Oh the words can't stay unspoken
until everyone has found That
Secondhand White Baby Grand
that still has something beautiful to give
...I still have something beautiful to give
As I finish the song, I hear a few whispers. Which makes me nervous because the whole gym is dead silent. Wait.
I think I'm kneeled to the ground. I'm...
I'm...
I'm crying. I'm really, really, crying a lot right now. I should just go.
Stand up! Come on, stand up!
I then just ran out of the gym...still crying for a few seconds until I heard someone behind me.
"Seriously Horuda?"
I turn around to see that it's Dora, who looks pissed at me. For crying? I really screwed up, didn't I?
"Need something, Dora?"
"You have to be stronger than that. Being emotional during a performance really makes things awkward. You know that?"
I just stay silent. But she continues lecturing me.
"You could've gone with a different song if it was gonna make you a mess like this but guess you wanted to have your 'I Want' song moment." she crosses her arms, giggling at her own joke.
"...Not the right time, I'm sorry. I just hope you don't act this way tonight, you'll ruin it for all of us if you do.". She then turns around and goes back inside and for a second she gets stopped by Miyuji and Gita.
"Thought I beat you two to it before that. So save yourselves for whatever unhelpful shit, you're about to say to her."
"What's your problem?" Gita says.
"Gita, don't." Miyuji responds as she puts a stopping gesture in between them. She then just walks over to me. Gita follows after her after she shakes her head at Dora.
"You okay?" Miyuji asks. I just nod, "Look whatever Dora said to you, don't listen..."
"She's again, only a new member. She doesn't know any better." Gita adds, which makes Miyuji slightly shake her head as she laughs. "Also Horuda the song you sang was beautiful, I almost cried". I smile. "Thanks Gita", "Of course, Horuda".
"I will admit that she has a point...I cry too easily sometimes, you've both known me for awhile-"
"Nothing's wrong with being a crybaby-"
"Miyuji I don't think that's the right word, right now" Gita says.
"It's fine, I don't mind"
"I'm sorry for her, Horuda"
"No, really. I don't mind and Dora does have a fair point, sometimes I wish I could be easier."
Miyuji looks at me, sad. "Be easier? Horuda, you're not that-"
"Well, I feel like I'm a lot."
They both stare at me silently as I said that. "Sorry..."
"Don't be sorry, stay passionate." Miyuji says, sounding sad for me.
"I don't know about that..." I say.
Gita then looks at Miyuji, "She's in a really tough spot. Let me handle this. Okay?" Gita says to her, Miyuji then glances at me putting a hand on my shoulder, patting it and then goes back inside.
Gita takes a breath, "Look, I don't know what's gonna happen with our performance tonight and honestly I was almost against you centering but you really put a lot into your performance up there, that it was beautiful to see. You don't have to feel bad that you broke down on stage, just now. It takes a lot out of you to do something like that. In fact I think it helped to make you shine."
"B-but that's the thing I...I don't get the feeling of being on stage, I didn't know how to feel when I was Veronica in Heathers back in Freshman year and I don't get how to feel about centering other than being nervous, so why did Miyuji choose me to do this? I'm not the bravest like you-"
"You think I'm brave?" she laughs, like a loud laugh. Which makes me smile for some reason. "I can say that I try to look like it but that's only when I have to be."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I'm not as brave as I look. But, I'll say that in terms of when Miyuji wants to do something, she doesn't do it for her. It always has to do with the people she's closest to and she's wondered if you are able to do this because of how uncomfortable you've looked during rehearsals but I think for once we're all seeing at least a glimpse of what she's getting at."
"A glimpse of something she's getting at, hm." I say as I look at her, perplexed.
" 'Something secondhand and broken still can make a pretty sound even if it doesn't have a place to live.' As the song says, give yourself some credit for giving a good performance up there."
"So...she sees something in me?"
"Yeah, she does." Gita nods as I look at her, a little lost but a little relieved too. "And to be honest I'm a little jealous. I know she tries to see something in everyone but I've only gotten bits and pieces of it from anyone she meets...of course it's a good thing though.", she sounded a little sad as she told me that.
"Hey, what if you sing that song tonight?" she says.
I just go silent again and shake my head.
"Oh...umm, that was random of me to ask. I'm sorry." she says.
"I think I want to go home after we finish setting up, I'll be there tonight of course but I don't feel like doing another rehearsal." I say.
"That's fine. But are you sure you want to help finish setting up? You still seem upset."
"It's the last I could do." I nod my head.
"Okay then."
"Hey Gita."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you, thank you for looking out for me and everything you've done for the band."
She looked a little surprised now. Has Miyuji never said this to her before or something? I just thought she needed it, since I felt a little bad when she told me she felt envious of me. I think she may be as lost as me, sometimes. Which I'm sorry for noticing until now.
"No, thank you." she smiles, softly. I return it too and then nod, gesturing forward. "Shall we?", that makes her laugh. "We shall lead the way Horuda!". We then both go back inside the gym.