Chapter Text
Meet the plastics.
“WOAH, who’s at that table over there?”
“Ugh, don’t look at them, just don’t!”
“They’re the plastics.” Janis twisted her body to the direction of the three girls dressed in pink. “That one right there, that’s Gretchen Wieners. She knows everything about everybody.”
Damian then whispers to Cady. “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets!”
“The other one, the one that’s mixing peanut butter and ice water…That’s Karen Smith.”
“The dumbest girl you will ever meet.” Damian shakes his head, watching as the girl gulps her little concoction.
“And the worst of them all…” She paused, containing her disgust. “Regina George. Where do I even begin with Regina George…” she clenched her fist, grasping her spoon.
Cady took a moment to observe the three girls. “Woah, Jan… you must really hate that Regina girl.”
“She’s a homophobic bitch, that’s why!” Janis scowled.
Damian then continued. “Janis and Regina used to be best friends. But when Regina found out Jan is gay, she flipped out and totally ghosted her!”
“Oh… so she’s that type of person, huh?” Cady sipped on her drink.
Suddenly, a stranger comes up to their table. Sitting beside her, totally uninvited. “Let it go, Jan. It’s been like a million years! Let her be.”
“Rodrick! Fuck are you doing here?! Didn’t I tell you, you’re not allowed to sit with us anymore?!” Jan punches the table beneath her.
“The other dudes got detention. What do you want me to do? Sit alone in the bathroom stalls???” They go back and forth for a while, before Rodrick finally notices Cady. “I see you finally got a girlfriend.”
“She's NOT my girlfriend!”
“Yet?” Rodrick smirked, teasing his older sister even more.
As Janis was about to go off on him, Cady introduced herself. “Actually, I’m new here! Hi, I’m Cady!”
“Do you sway in the same direction as my sister?” He teased, getting his armed smacked.
Cady could only laugh awkwardly. “No, I don’t…” She then turned to her two friends. “I didn’t know you had a brother, Jan…”
“We’re twins! Does the black eyeliner not make it obvious enough for you?” He pulled on his sister’s ponytail, forcing her face next to his. Showcasing how similar they actually look, side by side.
“Well, I didn’t wanna assume anything…”
“Don’t you know eyeliner is hereditary?! It’s like glasses! Jan and I came out of the womb like this!” His words made Cady question whether he was joking or just plain stupid.
“God, Rodrick! Can’t you give me some space?!” Janis finally shoved him away. “And quit scaring all the female friends I try to make! I’m not like you, trying to sleep with every girl he comes across!”
“Heyyyyyy! You’re making it seem like I'm some sort of fuckboy! I'm not!” He put his elbows on the table, messing with his sister’s face. “When have I ever scared any of your potential girlfriends~?”
Janis spits on his hand, causing a ruckus. Gearing a lot of attention to their table. It especially caught the attention of a certain Queen Bee.
“Jesus, what are those weirdoes fighting about now…” Gretchen grimaced.
Karen shook her head. “So uncivilizationed.”
“It’s uncivilized, Karen!” Regina angrily corrected her. The queen’s eyes glued to the new girl and the boy in baggy clothes. Her thoughts run wild.
And who’s this red headed little…
“Who’s that, over there?” She spoke with much regality.
Gretchen and Karen’s eyes go to where she’s looking.
“That’s Rodrick Heffley.” Karen said.
“I know that, Karen!” She rubs her temples. “I meant the red head.”
“She's the new girl.” Gretchen explained. “Super smart. We take chem together. Apparently she’s from Africa.”
“Africa, huh?” She bit the inside of her cheek. “Girls, what do you say we give her a welcome that she won’t forget?” She said, followed by a devilish smirk.
The bell rang. Ushering the students to go to their next class.
“Art and society… Ugh! So boring…” Regina rolled her eyes, walking in the very middle of the hall with her two best friends. “Is there really nothing that can make this class even a little bit interesting?!”
“I heard Aaron Samuels is in the same class as us!” Karen chimed.
“Just great, the one thing that’s going to entertain me is watching my ex-boyfriend fumble his recitations.” Regina is the first to enter the classroom. Before then spotting four familiar faces.
It was the group she’d been making fun of just then.
“Fuuuuuckk…” Janis muttered.
“Just when we thought class was going to get peaceful…” Damian whispered into his hand.
“Well isn’t that just interesting~” Rodrick smiles. Fixing his posture as Regina sits right in front of him.
Class starts, the usual orientation spiel. Regina couldn’t help but want to be somewhere else. She takes her pocket mirror and takes a look at herself. Secretly Eyeing the boy behind her.
Rodrick Heffley was staring out the window. As per usual. Gosh, he is so dumb and stupid. There's probably nothing on his mind but drums and music or some other bullshit his type of guy thinks about. Deep down, though…she knew he was so much more than that. If only she could actually read what’s on his mind.
Oh gosh, good lord. Thee Regina George is sitting right in front of me! Act cool, act cool, Rod! The boy’s thoughts grew wild. Staring at the back of her blonde head.
His eyes meet hers through the mirror in her hands. Making her abruptly shut it. Startled, he didn’t say a word of the encounter. And pushed himself to go back to his usual posture.
Biting down on her own tongue, Regina’s face heats up. Embarrassed that she got caught staring at him so shamelessly.
Regina’s had a crush on him for an embarrassingly long time. She had a bit of a rock phase back when she was in her early teens. She remembered suddenly catching feelings for him. With his fluffy brown hair. His cool shirts… the fact that he plays in a band. It’s been years since then. She doesn’t listen to rock too often anymore. And yet…her feelings never seemed to waver.
It’s stupid, she knows. Which is why she’d rather die than tell anyone. Her, the pretty popular girl with the wannabe rockstar?! It’s social suicide!
There’s not a single day that goes by where she doesn't think about the time he confessed to her back when they were in 5th grade. Of course she said no. I mean he was totally ordinary! She wanted a cute guy on the sports team! Not some nobody.
But now… she regrets it.
“Alright, that’s it for the mini-orientation…” The teacher chimed, her cheeks filled with smiles. “To get us started, perhaps a group project~?” As the students hear this, they all groan. Slumping in their seats. “Oh, hush! The grouping will be per column…so from the front, to the back.”
The teacher motioned the groupings. Handing out a piece of paper to everyone. “You children will be making a piece of art. Any piece of art at all. Whether it’s music, or painting… Perhaps a sculpture… Anything at all, and you have to present it to class!”
Instructed to arrange the chairs into circles, Cady looked up at the members of her group. She wrote all of their names down on a piece of paper. “Cady Heron, Rodrick Heffley, Regina George… and you are…?”
“Aaron. Aaron Samuels.” He smiled.
His gaze made her falter, “Right- Aaron…Samuels…”
Regina tilted her head. “So you already knew who I was…”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of you.” Cady set her gaze down.
“Really?” Regina eyed her like a hawk. “How much have you heard?”
“Don't scare the new girl too much, Regina.” Rodrick smirked. “She’s not gonna take away your crown.”
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me?” She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t talk to black eyed slugs.”
Rodrick leans in closer to her. “Is there anyone else named Regina sitting on this table?”
She stared at him, raising an eyebrow. Not wanting to back down. But his deep brown eyes just looked at her too deeply. It forced her to look away.
“Anyways. Cady, you’re like really pretty.” She flashed a fake smile. “Let's be friends! Kay?”
Cady was about to respond back, but her gaze turned to the sound of Janis thumping her head on her desk. It seems she’s grouped with Damian, Gretchen, and Karen.
“Quit that, you’re already dumb. It’s like you want to end up like mouse ears over there…” Rodrick scolds.
“He called you dumb, Gretchen!” Karen’s mouth was agape. A mouse themed headband on her head.
“Gee, thanks for pointing it out, Karen…”
Both groups ended up at the Heffley household after school. The reasoning being was that all the art stuff is there. So why not just do everything there. Safe to say the twins’ mother isn’t too happy about this.
“The house is cramped!” Mom rubs her temples. “I have 8 teenagers, 2 kids under my roof! All of you kids better clean up all of your messes because I’ve already got a bum back, you know that, right?!”
“Why can’t Greg just pack it up and do their project at Gumbo’s place?!” Rodrick roles his eyes.
“Rowley’s dad has a fear of spiders. Do you want his old man to die, or something?!” Greg defends his side.
“And we can’t just leave, All of my canisters are in my room. All of Rodrick’s music shit is in the garage. We can’t just leave!” Janis debates,
“Whatever…just clean up, please!” Mom fixes her hair. “Janis, I’m going to the store. You’re in charge and make sure everyone is orderly! I will be back before 5!”
As soon as they’re scolded, their mother went out to the store. Essentially having the entire house to themselves. The siblings get back out, coming back to the rest of the crew ogling at the massive spider Rowley had in his glass container.
“You guys, quit procrastinating! We got shit to do!” Janis pushes the crowd away, trying to usher her group to her bedroom.
Yet no matter what she says, everyone seemed so hyperfixated on the spider. Cady started spouting out spider facts. Doing her best to impress Aaron. It didn't take long for everyone else to get distracted. Rodrick just stares at the group from afar as Rowley lets the spider out of its container. Letting it crawl up his arm.
Rodrick didn’t seem too amused. He played with spiders when he was a kid. Of course it didn't phase him much. His attention was then directed towards the blonde girl in pink, standing back, trying to hold herself.
He approached her. “Woahhh don’t tell me you’re still scared of spiders? In your big age?” He teased.
“J- Shut up!” She hides behind him. Thinking of a good way to escape the room. “Go get me a soda. I’m thirsty!”
Turning around, he makes fun of her again. “If it’ll make you feel safe, you can hold my hand~”
She hits his arm, urging him to hurry up.
He grabs her a soda from the fridge. “Looks like we only got regular coke.” He hands it to her. “Will this suffice, princess?”
“Ugh, leave it to the Heffleys to have nothing but junk food in their fridge…” She was about to grab it from his hands, when he continued.
“I got a couple of juices and seltzers in my mini fridge at the garage.” He puts the can back. “Wanna go take a look?”
“And risk getting attacked and preyed on by you???” She gives him the stink eye. “I don’t think so, Heffley.”
“Eeek where’s the spider?!” Karen’s voice could be heard from the living room. Shrieking coming from everyone else.
Regina looked behind her, then back at Rodrick. “That spider could be anywhere~!” Rodrick teased.
“What are you waiting for?! Take me to the garage, idiot!” She turned him around, pushing his back to the direction of the garage.
Crouching down, he relays her options to her. Showing off the fridge he repaired himself. “Which one would suit your tastes, my dear?”
“Quit calling me pet names like we’re close or something. And give me the peach flavored one.”
Before she could swipe her drink out of his hands, he first cleans the top part with his shirt. Just so that her lips don’t meet any germs.
“I can wipe off my own cans…!”
“With that pretty pink shirt? It’ll just get ruined.” He opened the can before handing it to her.
“I can do that myself! You don't have to treat me like I’m some sort of toddler!” She crossed her arms.
“Please, with those nails? Aren’t they supposed to be delicate or something?”
“Maybe the cheap press-on ones your sister gets.” She takes a sip of her drink. “You shouldn’t be treating me like this, y’know.”
He smirked. “I remember you used to demand I treat you like a princess all the time. Am I supposed to stop now that we’re older?”
She almost spits her drink out. “Shut up! That’s when we were kids! Things are different, now!”
“Right. You’re popular now. You can’t be seen with a guy like me.” He said, sarcastically. “Although…”
“What? What else does that vile mouth of yours have to say?”
“You shouldn’t have stopped being friends with my sister just because I confessed. It really broke her heart.”
Ears perked, she gauges into his mind. “Isn’t that weird? Seeing the girl who rejected you hang out with your twin sister?”
“If that were the case, then I’m the only person you would’ve hurt. My sister would’ve been just fine…” He fell unusually quiet.
“Yeah, well…she has other friends now. She’s been fine without me.”
“She thinks you left cuz she was gay.”
His revelation made her eyes go big. “You didn’t tell her about what happened???”
“Nah. Besides, I made a promise that I would never fall in love with one of her friends. So I didn’t tell her about the whole rejection thing.”
“Well if you cleared it up, wouldn’t that have cleared up my name a little bit? I know I’m a bitch, but I’m no homophobe.”
“Yeah… but when have you ever cared about what other people thought about you?” He smiled. Not a smirk, but a smile.
Regina stared off in the distance. Seems her mind was in a whirlwind. “Better keep that promise to Janis, then. Don’t fall in love with any of her friends.” Don’t fall in love with Cady.
“I’ll… try.” I can’t stop falling in love with you.
Mistakenly, she took this as there being a possibility of him liking Cady. Her eyes twitched. Swallowing the knot in her throat, she spoke. “Whatever… I don’t care, do what you want.”
She then put up her usual mask. The face she takes on when she’s the queen bee. “Have you idiots found the spider, yet?! Let’s just do this stupid project so we can all go home! Jesus!”
He looks at her turned, lovingly. He told himself multiple times; Never again. Never Regina. Seems he can’t help but be hopelessly devoted to her. Even after all these years.