Work Text:
Six months ago - 4:13 P.M.
"Hey, dumbass - let's go for some meat buns after class?"
Beep.
Six months ago - 3:16 A.M.
"Don't steal my stuff, dumbass!! Give me back my glasses. They're my best disguise, so I can go scout other uni's games. It gives us a better chance to win!"
Beep.
Six months ago - 5:18 A.M.
"Your cat peed all over my bed! Goddammit. Come and get it, dumbass! But it peed all over the shirt you accidentally left when you stayed here, so...haha, revenge, you dumbass! You deserved it. I am not washing your shirt, by the way. I am too broke to afford laundry at the laundromat again this week. I get my salary until the next."
Beep.
Six months ago - 1:19 P.M.
"Hinata-kun, I can't contact Tsukishima-kun and Yamaguchi-kun for our first year study session. Do you think they are okay? Or should we not bother them? Kageyama-kun is with you, right? He said he's coming with you. Thanks, Hinata-kun!"
Beep.
Six months ago - 8:24 A.M.
"You have Psych at 11? Sucks to be you. Although that's obvious, because you are a huge idiot. Whatever. I'll meet you there."
Beep.
Six months ago - 9:09 P.M.
"Hinata-kun, it's Shimizu. Please remember to eat well and prepare for the game! I look forward to seeing your improvement in the court. It's almost time for new measurements. I bet your jump has improved! I am sure you will win the national collegiate tournament this year."
Beep.
Six months ago - 6:17 A.M.
"Aaah, Hinata-kun?! Have you ever had the feeling that... [frightened whispers, shaking] ducks are watching you when you sleep?! Because I am! Oh nooo, I am going to die."
Beep.
Six months ago - 2:05 A.M.
"Yo motherufkers, let's get lllaaaiiidd in da club that's right yeah buuubly uniicorns are so pretty. wooah, u think i should get a dragon? woooah, then i could be mfkcing daenerys stormborn, mother of dragons and i could like walk naked from a fire and b elike 'boo yah bitches here i am with my motherfucking dragons' let's get drraaggoons! i can get them and i would nane them sparkles bootilicious and dat hoe and dress them real pretty and yyyaaasss. WHERE'S THE TEQUILA?"
Beep.
Six months ago - 9:37 A.M.
"I am so sorry for the voicemail you got from me earlier, Hinata. As you could tell, I was really drunk. Just ignore me, or preferably - delete it from existence all together. Thanks. Won't bother you again."
Beep.
Six months ago - 3:39 P.M.
"Hinata, did you forget your sweater? Don't forget it! The weather forecast says it might snow today. Also, remember to drop by for dinner at six! Don't overexert yourself so much that you don't eat. And don't you dare say you don't want to be a burden to us - Daichi and I are always more than happy to see you!"
Beep.
Six months ago - 12:02 P.M.
"Aone speaking. I am lost. Please find me. Thanks."
Beep.
Five months ago - 4:49 P.M.
"Hinata Shoyo, when we meet again - I won't ever lose to you! I will beat you. I promise!!"
Beep.
Five months ago - 3:14 P.M.
"Oí dumbass - let's get meat buns again?"
Beep.
Five months ago - 6:18 P.M.
"Fuuuun fact of the day! Did you know that running like Naruto actually does make you faster? It's certified - scientifically, I think! Haha, joke is on all the non-otakus."
Beep.
Five months ago - 7:17 P.M.
"You shouldn't have played beer pong with a deadline tonight, Shoyo. It's irresponsible. [pause] I suppose I am not the best person to say this, since I procrastinate a lot on my work too to finish my games, but I finish my work on time. Please make sure you get some sleep, Shoyo. Too many all-nighters are bad for you."
Beep.
Five months ago - 6:61 P.M.
"Dumbass? Are you OK? You haven't been to practice for a long time. And last time I spoke with you, you sounded...terrible. Do you need anything, dumbass? [pause] Whatever, whether you like it or not, I'll drop by your dorm and bring you some meat buns.
And maybe Pocari Sweat, if I can afford it. Stay hydrated, dumbass. Besides, we still need to refine our new secret move we'll use to win the collegiate tournament, remember? The prelims are in a few months...
But regardless, just take care of yourself, dumbass."
Beep.
Five months ago - 9:19 A.M.
"Hey, it's Asahi. Hinata-kun, of course I am willing to help you! Just set the time and place so I can give you some basic art lessons. Haha, am I the best teacher you can have though? I-I don't even think I'm all that great. Yuu exaggerates a lot. Even though I did sell that one painting for $30,000...
Anyways, sorry for the question I am about to ask! Sorry! But I just wanted - just a little curious, I'm not judging or anything! Don't misunderstand - I just wanted to know, why do you want me to teach you art so that 'you can paint Kageyama like one of your French girls'?"
Beep.
Five months ago - 5:13 A.M.
"I get you, Hinata. I hate Calculus too. Anyways, I hope you didn't fall asleep on top of your homework! The project is due today in class, which is...three hours from now? And since you have none of it done, I suggest you hurry. It's due 35% of our final grade!!"
By the way, I think the answer to question #27 is 89?"
Beep.
Five months ago - 4:30 A.M.
"I am not amused, Hinata. Kageyama says you have a cold? Huh. Well, this wouldn't have happened if you had listened to me and worn the damn sweater. Do you see the consequences of not listening to my advice? I am bringing soup. If you don't have a sweater on you will regret it."
Beep.
Five months ago - 7:17 A.M.
"Young man, you heard Suga. You aren't leaving the house without at least six sweaters. No buts, no ifs - you will do it, or you will suffer the consequences. Even if you don't pick up our calls, you won't avoid it."
Beep.
Five months ago - 7:20 A.M.
"HINATA SHOYO. Let me into your house this instant, or I will have to resort to force. Trust me, once, a man was sexually harrassing me in the train station. I called Daichi over. The man ended up with two missing front teeth, a broken larynx, a bruise the size of Jupiter, and a split lip. Then, I let Daichi deal with him."
Beep.
Five months ago - 7:25 A.M.
"Seriously, Hinata. I will break your door. Let me in! I just want to see how you are. Are you really that sick? Daichi and I are pretty worried."
Beep.
Five months ago - 8:12 P.M.
"Sorry, Hinata. I wasn't lying about the breaking the door down. Although I hope the 51,000 yen envelope I slipped into your pillow is enough for you to buy and to reinstall a new one.
On a happier note, I hope you liked the soup! It's a delicious remedy for sickness and runny noses that was inherited from Sugawara to Sugawara, until it ended up with me! Take care, and always remember to wear your sweaters! Suga knows best."
Beep.
Five months ago - 2:20 P.M.
"Hey, chibi-chan. It's Kuroo, here! From Nekoma College, remember? Anyways, sorry for the no heads-up, but you and Kenma are pretty good friends, right? Riiight. So if you were him, and you wanted to suck some major dick, what condom flavor would you prefer: banana, strawberry or chocolate? Thanks! Reply ASAP, I kinda need the info. for tonight. Haha, if you know what I mean?"
Beep
Four months ago - 2:21 P.M.
"Oí dumbass. My family and I are going to this wedding and uh...would you like to be my plus-one? Reply as soon as possible, because I need to RSVP. Uh, thanks."
Beep.
Four months ago - 9:43 A.M.
"Rooooooolllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggg Thhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuunnnnnnddddeeeerrrrr!"
Beep.
Four months ago - 11:16 P.M.
"Sure. You can come over. I...would appreciate somebody. I seriously can't deal with Kuroo right now. We got into a fight.
But I warn you - we are playing Outlast."
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:30 P.M.
"You forgot your kneepads at my place again, dumbass! How are you going to practice? Because I sure am not going to deliver them to you like a maid, dumbass. [pause]
Fine, I will. But this is the last time, okay, dumbass? Ugh, why are you such a dumbass? I can't with you, sometimes. But I guess dumbasses will be dumbasses."
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:16 P.M.
"Hey hey hey! The one and only, great and greatest, best and bestest, Bokuto Koutarou speaking! One of the top aces of the collegiate volleyball world! How are ya, shrimpy? It's been a while since I've talked to you! Wanna go out to eat meat sometime? I can give you some ultra secret business tips too! Woaah! Is there anything that can compare to that? Anyways, when you are free, call me to RSVP. My be-au-ti-ful Keiji will be there too! And my bestest bro and Kenma, since ya know, they are a package deal! Oh, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi might be there. But either way, it'll be quite a crowd. You can invite Setter-kun too, if you want. He needs to loosen up a little, ya know?
Oooh, I bet he's the reason you're not answering your calls right now. [wild cackling and laughter] Woo hoo, go get some, shrimpy! Dig it, my little Crow Son!"
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:18 P.M.
"Oooh, and invite Tsukki too! He's always so tsun-tsun...could use a drink and some fun! And you know, if he comes, it's a given Freckles will come too, because separating them is like trying to split the Earth in half - you know, like, impossible!! But them coming would be awweeesome! Plus, he needs to realize how fucking smitten he really is for the guy, and vice-versa."
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:20 P.M.
"Oh ho ho? My Brokuto told me you and Frowny-kun were getting some right now, huh? [wild cackling and laughter, hooting in the background, annoyed mumbling] Nice! Haha - how does Frowny-kun like it? Heads? Holes? If you want - I can give you a little extra tutorial on the usual 'birds and the bees' lesson, so you can maximize your pleasure [laughter]."
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:25 P.M.
"Only an idiot would take love or sex advice from Tetsu-chan! I feel bad for Kenma. I can't imagine what he has to put up with. Anyways, as a former senpai of his, I just wanted to thank you for helping deflower Tobio-chan [wild laughter and hooting, snickering]. I know he can be such a prude, constipated little virgin sometimes, but I just want to tell you you are doing a very noble task-"
"Shittykawa, what are you doing?!"
"Iwa-chan! Hi! I am just harmlessly-"
"Harmless my ass!"
"Well, yeah, your ass is rather harmless. In fact, I know a rather lot about it-"
Beep.
Four months ago - 1:34 P.M.
"Kenma speaking. I apologize for Bokuto, Kuro and Oikawa. Akaashi is here too. He is thoroughly done with life and with his boyfriend. Bokuto is on his knees right now begging for forgiveness. Iwaizumi is hitting Oikawa for being 'such a Shittykawa - stop being an ass to Kageyama, even after all these years!' I hope that makes you feel better.
I don't want to be as immature as Kuro [pause, as a voice says "Hey, babe! Why do you betray me like this, with chibi-chan?"], but...having sex with Kageyama actually might make his scowl disappear? Wouldn't be a bad thing. I would appreciate being able to play in a court with him or talking to him without me feeling like he's going to kill me with a bloody knife at night. Maybe he could smile more too, so that others don't feel the same?
On the other hand, I just remembered something [shuddering] - please do not make him smile. Just...try to make him happy, yes? Perhaps it will relieve the heavy, tremendously obvious sexual tension in the air whenever you two are around each other. Everyone thinks the same.
And yes - I'll be there for lunch."
Beep.
Three months ago - 3:16 P.M.
"Hey, dumbass. A friend of mine happened to have two tickets to the new aquarium opening down the street. The one you wanted to go to for a long time, but couldn't, because the tickets had sold out? She couldn't go because... [pause] she had an emergency or a family thing, or something like that. So she gave them to me. Uh, would you like to go with me? I mean, if you want to. Or you could give the other ticket to somebody else. Because you know, I am not too big on sea stuff [pause awkwardly, swallowing], and uh...seahorses freak me out too.
Even though belugas are pretty cool, I guess."
Beep.
Three months ago - 5:40 P.M.
"Hey hey hey! It's Bokuto! What do you mean you and Setter-kun aren't dating?!"
Beep.
Three months ago - 6:00 P.M.
"Kuroo here. Just wanted to apologize for what we said some days earlier. We were kind of assholes, I guess. Your sex life with Kags is nothing to joke about, since it's yours and only yours. Sorry. I apologize from behalf of the three of us. We respect you, and as your friends, chibi-chan, we just want the best for you.
If you want legit advice, feel free to ask it from us. We will help you well.
But my bro is right. What the fuck do you mean you two aren't dating?"
"Riiiight! What the hell, chibi-chan? You are Tobio-kun's soulmate! You two are destined for each other. Like peanut butter and jelly! Anyways, you two are a package deal - in and out of the volleyball court. Even someone as dense as Ushiwaka-chan - fuck him by the way - could tell how in love you are!"
"Oh yeah, I bet you would like to fuck Ushiwaka-chan, huh?"
"KUROO, WHAT THE HELL? EEEEWWW! DON'T, HE'S LIKE MY MORTAL ENEMY!"
"You and Iwaizumi go with him to brunch on Sundays!"
"...Fair enough."
Beep.
Three months ago - 4:36 A.M.
"You're going vegan? What the fuck? What about meat buns? C'mon, you'll last 3 hours, if there's a miracle."
Beep.
Three months ago - 1:06 A.M.
"Nicki Minaj or Iggy?"
Beep.
Three months ago - 9:00 A.M.
"You grew 2 inches! Wow, Noya told me the great news. Haha, that's fucking amazing, Hinata! CONGRATS! This deserves a celebration! You've tried growing so much. Come to the restaurant, Hinata. The rest of the team will be there too. There'll be lots of food, meat and booze! Yup! It'll be real fun! Be prepared for the hangover of your life. I'll come by your dorm at 8."
Beep.
Two months ago - 7:45 A.M.
"Hinata, I usually don't use my dad voice nowadays - but Suga just told me you ran away in the middle of confessing to Kageyama! He nearly had a heart attack.
Anyways, you have to apologize with him immediately, and make sure you fix things. I haven't seen two more people more in love with each other since... [pause] Suga and I! You two belong together, but you two are so dense, you don't realize how obvious it is. Do you know how frustrating, as an outsider, it is to see two people so clearly smitten?
I raised my children to be better. I expect you two to be truly together by tomorrow!"
Beep.
Two months ago - 9:14 A.M.
"Is it a middle-blocker thing to run away from your love problems? Because trust me [little snort], I would know. Tsukki did the same thing. But I speak for Kageyama and all the other frustrated people out there who are in love with middles - just confess. He's kind of hurt right now, you know? When you confess, Hinata, you can't just run away mid-word! Be straight - or well, don't be straight, since you are, you know -well, whatever! You know what I mean, right? Just be honest and open-hearted with Kageyama-kun. It's way better that way. I am 300% Kageyama feels the same. He loves you terribly, and I know you do too."
Beep.
Two months ago - 00:09 A.M.
"Dumbass. Go to the park. We need to talk."
Beep.
One month ago - 11:20 A.M.
"Good morning. This is Ushijima Wakatoshi, CEO and founder of Shiratorizawa Arrangements, the best and most qualified flower arrangement and delivery service in Asia. As a client who has issued a rather large and expensive delivery, it is my personal responsibility to recommend a flower arrangement to you.
Hinata-san, you mentioned that... [rustling of paper] in this arrangement, you wanted to express feelings of 'extreme love, endless devotion, eternal happiness, achievement, unity, adoration, comfort, family, friendship, trust, mutual and individual growth, and some lust'. You wanted to express that, and I quote you, 'I (you) will always be at your (his) side, and that I (you) will offer and do anything, even the very depths of my (your) soul, in order to love, cherish, support and stay with you (him), through all times. I (you) want to do everything and anything with you (him) for the rest of our (your) lives.'
Therefore, I suggest the following arranement. Based on my knowledge of the hanakotoba, I wanted to make an arc made up of iris (loyalty and good tidings), aster tataricus (remembrance), lavender (faithfulness), verbennas (cooperation), violets (honesty) and forget-me-nots (true love) in the upper part. I would put some hints of jasmines (friendliness), yellow poppies (rejoicement), spider lillies (sweetness), daisies (faith) and edelweiss (courage and power) on the sides. Then, in the deep center, we would use warm-colored flowers. Red poppies (fun-lovingness), carnations (fascination and love), some red roses (love) and among those red roses, a single white rose in the middle (innocence and devotion). Oh, and for lust...a handful of cactus flowers surrounding the arrangement as a whole, forming a small chain.
What do you think? Please call back soon to give your feedback on the order, Hinata-san, and we can get to working on it immediately. Have a good day. I hope that your beloved is happy with the arrangement, which will be handled flawlessly and to perfection by our workers."
Beep.
One month ago - 8:16 P.M.
"What a dumbass! Of course, I love you too, dumbass. I've always loved you - you saying it back was enough for me. You are more than I could have ever wanted and deserved.
You didn't need to go and get a massive floral arrangement to confess to me though! That must have cost you a shit ton of money, and c'mon, Shoyo, we all know you are broke as fuck college student living on the occasional ramen. Do you know how many meat buns we could have gotten together if you hadn't gotten this expensive Shiratorizawa Arrangements flower arrangement?
But...uh, it was like, uh, really, um...sweet. Thanks. It was, uh, a really considerate gesture. Really...touching. Kinda makes me feel bad? Anyways, I love you. Um. Uh, in case you forgot or didn't hear me before, or something. "
Beep.
Three weeks ago - 5:15 A.M.
"Let's meet for some meat buns, yeah, my dumbass?"
Beep.
Three weeks ago - 6:18 A.M.
"Oí, dumbass! I know we're dating - but you still can't steal my stuff!"
Beep.
Three weeks ago - 3:14 P.M.
"I love you, dumbass."
Beep.
Three weeks ago - 3:17 P.M.
"I love you...just in case you didn't get my other voicemail."
Beep.
Two weeks ago - 5:16 P.M.
"Let's go to that nightclub next Friday, 'kay? You need to have some fun, Hinata!"
Beep.
One week ago - 10:13 A.M.
"Shoyo - I'm picking you up at 6 tonight. Is that OK? So we can go out tonight with the others and the upperclassmen."
Beep.
One week ago - 8:55 P.M.
"Shoyo. It's so loud here. Ugh, I shouldn't have agreed to come. And the vodka and sake here suck. The two of us could've just stayed home. Can you hear me? Probably not. Whatever - just meet me in the bathrooms! I can't see you anywhere. Just wanted to know where you are, and if you are OK.
Beep.
One week ago - 9:15 P.M.
"Shoyo, hello? Where are you?"
Beep.
One week ago - 11:19 A.M.
"HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU OK, SHOYO? SHOYO, WHERE ARE YOU? THE COPS AREN'T HERE, BUT THERE'S SOME - well, who the fuck cares? WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU SAFE? STAY HIDDEN! DON'T LET THEM FIND YOU! There's a fucking-"
Beep.
One week ago - 9:99 P.M.
"Shoyo? Is something wrong? Why don't you answer? This is Tobio. Call me back."
Beep.
One week ago - 7:16 P.M.
"Shoyo, if this is a joke, this is a pretty shitty one. We're all fucking worried about you! Please reply to us all. Everyone's been calling you, leaving you voicemails, texting, but nobody can find you. Nobody can contact you. Please. Natsu is crying her eyes out. We're all stressed out. I think Suga-san has passed out. Daichi-san, Noya-san and Tanaka-san are livid. Kenma is sobbing uncontrollably. Everyone is going mad. The police are here, the news reporters, the ambulance, but...where are you? I...I miss you. We all do. But I miss you the most. Please come back, dumbass. I need you. I need to hold you in my arms. I need you here with me, next to me. Please. Are you OK? Just a yes would be good! Please, I'm begging you. I'll even give you all the meatbuns in the world. Just come back. Please."
Beep.
Five days ago - 11:11 P.M.
"I love you, Shoyo."
Beep.
Two days ago - 3:46 A.M.
"Hey, Shoyo. It's Tobio. Listen - just w-whatever, just in case. N-Not like I want to attract bad luck! No, no, no, nothing like that. It's just that in case." [crash and some sighs] "Sorry, I sound like a total idiot right now, don't I? Well, I'm an idiot whenever I'm not with you. Whatever. Just. PLEASE call me back. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I won't stop looking for you. Nothing will stop me from searching. I won't accept the worst. No. I love you. I want to make sure you're OK."
Beep.
Two days ago - 11:04 A.M.
"Whatever, I am going mad here without you. I can't sleep. I spend all my nights worrying. I don't want to seem a pessimist, but just in case, here it goes. I just wanted to let you know that you are my dumbass for life, OK, dumbass? You are my dumbass. Nothing is ever going to change that."
Beep.
Two days ago - 12:29 P.M.
"Goddammit, answer me, dumbass! I don't fucking like your silences."
Beep.
Two days ago - 3:13 P.M.
"Come on, Shoyo. Please. Please answer me. You're scaring me. You're really scaring me."
Beep.
Yesterday - 00:11 A.M.
"I can't stop thinking about you. You're my one and only."
Beep.
Yesterday - 0:13 A.M.
"Remember when you made me sing 'You Are My Sunshine' every time we cuddled or spent the night at each other's dorms? I thought it was so embarrassing, and sometimes, really dumb, but...fuck. I'd pay anything to sing to you again. To have you in my arms. To feel you next to me. To call you my sunshine. Because before...uh, I am not too good with this poetic thing, but before, my world was dark and bleak. You were the sun that lit my galaxy. My heart burned to be with yours. My sunshine."
Beep.
Yesterday - 0:16 A.M.
"I love you, Shoyo."
Beep.
Today - 00:52 A.M.
"I-I am so sorry. Forgive me-"
Beep.