Work Text:
Matsuda was sitting in a hotel room with Yagami, Mogi, and Ukita. Watari stood off to one side, occasionally coming over to offer refreshments, but otherwise kept to himself. Aizawa was currently in the closed-off bedroom with L, going through his “Kira elimination” interview. The others had already completed theirs, with only Matsuda left to go.
“Argh, I’m so nervous. What if Ryuzaki decides to think I’m actually Kira?” Matsuda said, fiddling with his tie.
“I seriously doubt he’ll come to that conclusion with you. If you’re Kira, then I’m Santa Claus,” Ukita scoffed.
Chief Yagami was kinder with his response. “I’m sure you have nothing to hide, and Ryuzaki will see that. He’s just taking this extra precaution since he’s putting his life at risk by revealing himself to us as L.”
Matsuda felt slightly better at that, though the pit of anxiety in his stomach refused to leave.
“What kind of questions did he ask? Did you have to demonstrate anything?” he asked, leaning forward.
“We already told you, the interviews are confidential. We can’t tell you anything,” Mogi said firmly.
“Man, I wasn’t even this nervous for my NPA interview!” Matsuda leaned back in his chair, sighing dramatically.
“Yeah, if you of all people could pass that, then maybe you are suspicious,” came Aizawa’s voice as he walked back into the room, making Matsuda jump. “It’s your turn next. Try not to embarrass yourself.”
“Ah, of course! I’ll be going then!” Matsuda said quickly, scrambling to his feet and heading toward the bedroom door.
“Man, to be a fly on the wall for that meeting,” Aizawa joked, helping himself to some coffee.
“Please take a seat, Matsuda.”
The bedroom was dark, lit only by the glow of several monitors and screens scattered around the room. Near the unused bed, there was a small sofa, and facing it was the armchair that L was currently perched on. Between them sat a low table cluttered with files, another laptop, cake, and two cups of coffee. Watari must have prepared the drinks when Aizawa rejoined the others.
“Ah, of course,” Matsuda said, as he crossed to the sofa. He sat down stiffly, his back straight, hands on his knees.
“Currently, the likelihood of you being Kira is at one percent,” L said, eyes flicking from the screen to Matsuda’s face. “The purpose of this conversation is to reduce that likelihood to zero. I need you to answer all of my questions honestly. The more you lie or attempt to put on an act, the more suspicious you may appear.”
Matsuda nodded vigorously. “Right, yes, honest answers, got it.”
L picked up a notepad and began.
“Where were you on the evening of the 28th of November?”
“Uh... the 28th?” Matsuda frowned and looked up, clearly trying to remember. “I think that was when I was covering Officer Hibiki on night patrol. Yeah. I was with Officer Kujo. We were covering the Shinjuku district. Not much happened though. Just a drunk guy who, uh, tried to make a call with his shoe.”
L blinked once, very slowly. “I see.”
He made a note. “And the 9th of December?”
“That was my day off. I went shopping for groceries in the morning and then stayed home. Watched TV. Cooked dinner. Well... burned dinner, really. So, if bad cooking counts as a crime, then I guess I’m guilty.”
L’s expression didn’t change. “How do you feel about Kira’s actions? About criminals dying of heart attacks by his judgement?”
“Well, it’s... complicated, isn’t it? I mean, I get why some people think it’s good. Crime rates are dropping and innocent people are probably feeling safer. But... it’s not right. It’s not real justice. Deciding to give people the death sentence this way is just murder.”
L nodded slightly. “So you do not support Kira.”
“Of course not!” Matsuda said, looking startled. “I joined the police to protect people, not... not to decide who deserves to live.”
“Hmm.” L jotted something down. “And if you had the ability to kill without consequence, would you use it?”
Matsuda’s eyes widened. “What? No! No way, I’d never. I mean, what kind of question is that? Sorry, I don’t mean... it’s just, no. Absolutely not.”
L tilted his head, watching him. The silence dragged on until Matsuda began to shift in his seat, rubbing his palms on his knees.
Then L said quietly, “Your family registry shows a name change at age fourteen. Can you explain that?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah. I moved in with my grandmother when I was fourteen. On my mum’s side. She lived in Nagano.”
“Why did you move in with her?”
Matsuda hesitated. “Ah... it’s kind of... personal.”
“I need a clear answer,” L said evenly.
Matsuda took a deep breath, hands fidgeting on his knees. “Well… um… my parents, they, uh… didn’t exactly… accept me. I mean… when I was fourteen, I moved in with my grandmother. She, uh… she let me stay with her. Said I could, you know… be a family with her.”
L’s expression was unreadable. “I see. Was there a particular reason you left your parents’ home?”
Matsuda’s throat went dry. He looked back down at his hands. “It’s… complicated. I guess… I’m just different to what they expected. I… well… Please don’t share this with the others.” He swallowed hard, then finally said, “I’m gay. They… my parents that is… they didn’t take it well. That’s why I went to live with my grandmother. She was really kind. Let me take her surname and everything. She told me I still had a family, no matter what my parents thought.”
L’s pen paused, and for a moment he said nothing, simply observing.
He stared at Matsuda for a moment longer before saying, “I see. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
Matsuda blinked, surprised by the gentle tone. “Oh, um... thank you. It’s okay, though. Grandma was wonderful. I owe her a lot.”
L nodded slowly. “You relocated to Tokyo just over a year ago, correct?”
Matsuda picked up one of the coffees and drank some, before answering. “Yeah. After she passed away.”
“That must have been difficult.”
“It was,” Matsuda said quietly, finishing his drink and putting the cup back on the table. “But I didn’t want to stop working. Sitting still would’ve made me think too much, I guess.” He gave a weak laugh. “And that’s never gone well for me.”
L picked up a file from the table. “You were a good officer in Nagano. And you have positive reports from your superiors here. Yet they have written that you sometimes doubt your own abilities. Why?”
Matsuda scratched his neck, giving a nervous chuckle. “Well, Tokyo’s... big. Everyone’s serious and brilliant and so smart. It’s like... I used to be a decent fish in a pond, and now I’m a tiny one in this big ocean.”
L stroked his bottom lip with his thumb. “Your shooting scores are excellent. Well above average for your division.”
Matsuda gave a small, tight-lipped smile. “Yeah… I guess so. Used to be my dad who made me practice.” He hesitated. “He took me to shooting ranges when I was a kid. Thought it would teach me discipline or something. Typical dad stuff, you know? Always gruff, always serious. No talking about feelings, just, ‘Be a man! Hit the target!’ I hated it at the time, but…” He gave a short, awkward laugh. “I suppose it worked. A bit, anyway. And I like it more these days, going to the police shooting range. It’s a way for me to sort out my thoughts while I focus on hitting the targets.”
L nodded slowly, writing something down. “I see. That explains part of your skill. And you wouldn’t have this job if you weren’t capable. Chief Yagami recommended you personally, yes?”
Matsuda straightened up a little. “Yeah. He did. I thought I messed up my transfer interview, but then he vouched for me” He gave a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck. “I still don’t know why. Why did he believe in me when I didn’t believe in myself? I keep trying not to let him regret it. Sometimes I think he’s just being polite and he's hoping I won’t mess everything up.”
L said nothing, jotting something down and studying him silently. Matsuda shifted under the weight of his gaze, fidgeting slightly in his seat.
“That’s commendable,” L said softly, flipping a page. “Do you have many personal connections here in Tokyo?”
Matsuda’s smile faded a little. “Not really. I’ve just been working since I got here. I haven’t had time to make friends. Guess that’s one good thing about this job. I can give it everything I’ve got.”
He tried to grin again, but it faltered. “And if Kira kills me, well... at least it won’t ruin anyone’s weekend.”
L’s eyes lifted sharply. “Please don’t say that.”
“Huh?”
“You shouldn’t measure your worth that way. You’re part of this team, and that means your life matters.”
Matsuda blinked, feeling heat rush to his face. “Ah... sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant... I’ll do my best, that’s all. Even if my best is, you know, not great sometimes.”
L studied him for a long moment. Matsuda’s chest felt warm under his unflinching gaze, and his palms tingled. He couldn’t stop staring back at L, even though he knew he shouldn’t. There was something about the way L tilted his head slightly, the way he kept bringing his thumb up to his bottom lip. It made Matsuda’s stomach do somersaults.
The corner of L’s mouth lifted so slightly it could have been a trick of the eye. “You’ve been honest. I have no suspicion toward you, Matsuda. I believe you are not Kira.”
Matsuda cleared his throat far too loudly. “Uh… right. That’s good. I mean… thank you.”
The words came out higher-pitched than he intended, and his face burned hotter than he thought possible. The way L just looked at him and the tone of his voice made him warm inside. He sank back slightly, trying to act normal, failing completely. Oh… oh no. Why was he thinking about L like that? “I mean, I knew that, obviously, but still. It’s nice to hear it from you.” He gave a nervous laugh that trailed off into silence.
L brought his thumb up, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly more. “Please be assured everything you disclosed with me will stay private. You may now return to the others.”
“Right. Yes. Okay.” Matsuda jumped to his feet, nearly knocking the table as he bowed. “Thank you for the coffee, Ryuzaki. It’s... um... good coffee!”
L only slightly bowed his head back at him, but Matsuda could’ve sworn he saw the tiniest flicker of amusement in his eyes.
He shut the door behind him, face burning red.
Back in the main room, Aizawa looked up from his mug. “Well? Still alive?”
“Y-yeah,” Matsuda said quickly. “I’m not Kira, apparently.”
“Good for you,” Ukita said dryly. “We were starting to wonder.”
Mogi chuckled, and even Chief Yagami smiled faintly. Matsuda tried to laugh along, but his mind was still in that dark room, replaying the way L had looked at him with that unshakable focus and the unexpected kindness in his voice. Oh no. He was in trouble.
L’s File Notes:
Matsuda Touta, 26
Likelihood of being Kira: 0%
Additional notes: Matsuda is straightforward and candid, making him easy to evaluate. Yet, I still found him intriguing. Despite occasional nervousness and self-doubt, he demonstrates resilience and a capacity for empathy. His loyalty to Chief Yagami and the investigation is evident. I am looking forward to spending more time with him during this investigation. I have no suspicion regarding his involvement in Kira’s activities. I expect him to be a devoted member of the team.